Back Side - Theo's Return To Boxing, Weird Fetish's & Solving The Grandfather Paradox...

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

After AngryGinge opened up on where influencer boxing has gone wrong, Theo talks about his return! Lewis exposes the lads leaked feet pictures on a strange website and things get heated as the lads debate The Time Traveller Paradox.If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. If they brought back like head guards, so it's not serious, it's not knockout, and you could just have like a fun scrap for the people for the culture would you then return

under those circumstances not a single thing we've said can be a fact because there's no ever proof of time travel you're talking about fucking evaporating

mate you're talking about time travel it would be BBBA bah bah so we butt again if we were to follow honestly lads

we've descended into brain rot again so I have found a website which I'm not sure if you're aware of the fact that he knows about this website

is really really freaking me out I think Lewis might be one of the filthiest freaks we have ever met thank you for 50,000 subscribers

we're still 100 off as we're recording this. So why are you saying thank you? But I reckon when we've uploaded this we're going to be like

three off. So if you haven't subbed, please sub. Weasels, mate. Apparently, yeah. Lewis said, what did you say on the stories or something?

I said, apparently Lewis said, what did you say? I put on the story saying, please subscribe because if Theo bit us £1,000 we wouldn't hit

£50,000 today. A bomb? Gained 700 subs. No, that was, no, the first000 we wouldn't hit £50,000 today. About £1,000? You gained 700 subs. No, that was the first day They went to prove me wrong. The first day we gained 400

and then it's the second day when I said it was double or nothing and then they did it again. Did we gain 700? Apparently, yeah. When we were at 44, 49 Now we're getting like

700 subs. To celebrate, guys You were giving us £1,000? I'm giving you guys a present each. Damn! And these are the presents from Thailand.

Oh. They come three weeks ago. They come in the wrong suitcase, but I've got them back now. Is it a lady boy? Geoffrey! Is it? Or a seashell full of drugs? That video gave me so many confused feelings as a youth.

What? What? What? 🎵 As a youth? Let's see. How old were you when you watched that? I'm sorry, I just... What were you years ago like that? Close your eyes!

Is this... Is this where he sucks us off? No. Tom, close your fucking eyes! Do you learn this in Thailand? Are you going to... Tom, close your eyes. Do you learn this in Thailand? Are you going to take us on a journey to Newcastle again? Stay with your eyes shut. Maybe for...

Tom, why are your eyes open? What am I doing? I opened your eyes! They're all large, so choose whatever you want. Chang chang! Chang chang! Chang chang chang! I feel like we all naturally gravitated. Well, I didn't have a choice, mate.

You took them off the table. Yeah. They actually are large, but large in Thailand is like a medium. I didn't realise that. It's like the Man United of Thailand. So if you're... Wait, did you get the YouTube one?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I did. If you're a listener, what have you just given us? So if you're a listener, I've just given the boys each their own Thailand top. I genuinely think mine is not going to fit.

It does fit. Mine's got social media on it. No, it doesn't fit. It just won't go over your hoodie. It won't go over your hoodie. You have to get your kit off. Get it off. We look pretty beast mode.

It matches your eyes. That's why I went for the blue. Lewis, yours looks cool. Pretty beast mode. I like green. Khaki's my colour. You'll probably give it to someone else in the office. It matches your eyes.

Blue khaki. Now you need to take your top off as well. I'm going to get hot though. How do you think, mate, we need them law tics. Why do you always do this? I give you something, you take it off.

I'm going to get hot. And also, you've given me too many things in recent times, Theo, and it's ruined me life. Damn. Yeah, decent, that. Yeah.

Mate, so you've got, I can imagine it fits little Thai men, but genuinely, I think as much as I appreciate your kindness fits little Thai men but genuinely I think as much as I appreciate your kindness Theo I feel like I'm now

scared for what God will smite me down with. I don't get it. Last time you were nice to me I got an ACL injury now I'm fucking terrified of

you mate frankly. Put it on. Don't be so ungrateful. Is the ACL not self-inflicted though because you can't kick a ball?

It was as a result of what Theo did to me. If you just take your t-shirt off and then put that on, you will be the same temperature. Oh, I should have gone for the blue. It matched my joggers. I've got a bit of a belly on these days.

What do you think, guys? Do you like your presents? Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Have I got a player on the back? Yeah, you actually do. Yeah, it says 99 Chang.

And a fun fact for you lot. This is not fact of the day, but can you tell me... We don't even have that. You know, the Chang, Chang beer. Yeah.

What does Chang mean in Thailand or in Thai? Chang. Uh, happiness. Uh, good guess. Good.

Yeah. Good times. Rock on, dude. Good times. Why do you say good times? Whoa, you asked a question.

What's your guess? Um. Fabian Shah. St. James's Park. Uh, we should say thank you though, because the vibes on Bucks are. Oh my St. James's Park we should say thank you though because the vibes

oh my god it's a thank you episode fucking shut up what the hell is wrong with you you don't are we thanking these A you didn't guess about my chat

yeah and B you don't want to hear I said St. James's Park you know I couldn't even tell you the answer you've already started thanking them for it that's the soundbite

anyway it doesn't even count thanks for watching thank you thank you so much fuck off Luke can I am I allowed to talk now?

You want to start thanking me? He's been nasty to me, Tom. No, you're being a dictator again. He's been nasty to me. You're doing it again. Guys, he's been nasty to me. I feel like this is a bit of a bib. You look very prominent in your...

What does it mean? Chang means elephant. Does it? That's why it's... Two elephants on it. So you're actually drinking elephant beer? Chang actually elephant. Does it? That's why it's... Two elephants on it. So you're actually drinking elephant beer? Chang actually means

something else, but... Yeah. Yeah, how cool is that? You look really cool in your tie tops. It is a tie top, actually. Fuck, you know. Yeah.

It fits better when you haven't got a T-shirt on. Have you not got one? No. Oh, what? Well, you are joined in. Would you wank an elephant off to completion

for free tickets to Newcastle Gadsden the rest of your life? Okay, one question. It's not an act of bestiality, this. I imagine it's a zoo and they need the semen to... No, no, no.

It's behind closed doors. Okay, no, then that's weird. Tom, he wouldn't have to go to any of the games to already do it. If it was a medical procedure and they needed the sperm because the populations die

and then I'm doing two good deeds. Okay, what do you do? You get dragged into a room and they're like, just look after the elephant. Then they have to drag me into the room. Why can't I just...

No, because they're blindfolded. The cock is so big, you have to like... It's like you're climbing a tree. So you go into the room, right? Yeah. Then they go, can you just look after Nelly for 10 minutes?

Yeah, Nelly. He's got to go and get his food. So they go out and kill he's yeah it's obviously a he it's a male elephant it's got a penis idiot

so then they leave you alone for 10 minutes but then out of nowhere an alien appears because I know you're like that

and the alien goes oh Lewis if you wank this elephant off to completion you then become the owner of Newcastle by the way Lewis

by the way this isn't just that wanking off the elephant. This is like, you could die here. Can I wank off the alien as well? No, the alien's like a Ken doll. Do you know what's weird?

Alien, that is what we're going to evolve to be. We're going to be, answer the question. No, I'm not going to wank off an elephant. You know, a lady got trampled by an elephant. Would you do it for 100 million? No. What?

I'm not wanking off an elephant. Oh, no. But we are going to evolve to have no penis. Sorry, you wouldn't wank off an elephant for 100 million? No. What? I'm not wanking off an elephant. Oh, no. But we are going to have all time, not penis. Sorry, you wouldn't wank off an elephant

for 100 million pounds? I don't want to, I don't know if, no one knows. No one finds out. No one finds out. It sits on me, guys. That's the problem

when a bull elephant is getting horny, mate. Does the elephant enjoy it? He's the one getting it. No one knows, but the elephant does allow you to do it, so I'm assuming yes.

Would you do it? Would you do it? 100 mil. Tom, how do the elephant does allow you to do it, so I'm assuming, yes. Would you do it? Would you do it? 100 mil. Tom, how do you know they allow you to do it? 100 mil. It's my hypothetical. I don't think I'll live with myself after that. What, wanking off?

I've shagged. I can tell you now, the elephant didn't allow me to do it. I didn't try either. Yeah, you were like a cruel sanctuary player. Yeah, I didn't. That might have been what we did when he blindfolded me. Taking videos of really sad asses. I told you he kept feeding me't. That might have been what we did when he blindfolded me.

Taking videos of really sad asses. I told you he kept feeding me sausage. I might have been sucking one off or I don't know. How many times today are you going to mention, he was on about it on pitch, so I was saying you get about sucked off. Well, Emmett, so if you chanker, if you lot don't know, by the way,

Lewis has now changed his injury. So he originally did his MCL and now he's done his ACL, but he hasn't had a scan yet, so. I thought you went for a scan. Yeah, well, last time when I said on on here i went to get checked at a and a as you do and she was like yeah yeah mcl yeah then theo recommend recommended a physio i went to him and he was like horrified by the news that i've been diagnosed with mcl and he said this is acl and essentially if i didn't go that physio i would have been making it worse yeah pretty

it's almost like i know what i'm talking about and you should making it worse yeah it's almost like I know what I'm talking about and you should just listen to me it's almost like when we told you to get a scan six months ago

you might not be in this situation now to be fair honestly on that one yeah this has been an injury that I have had a while and I maybe

maybe should have got a scan I admit because now I do face surgery and a year of doing nothing which is depressing

it could be Newcastle and they've done their UCL. Oh. That's fair. No football on this pod as well. Sorry, cross-platform that. It's a fact size, isn't it? Also, now that is...

Everyone's clicking off now. There's two podcasts in a row that's mentioned his injury. Let's try and see how many... No, honestly, by the way, I have actually properly became... Theo, I can't stop mentioning it. Keep telling...

Do you know what? Because it's on your mind. Just like fucking ACL. Yeah, and you used to piss at me and send me into piling pits of depression. Yeah, now I stop mentioning it. Keep telling me. Do you know what? Because it's on your mind. Just like fucking ACL. Yeah, and you used to piss at me and send me into piling pits of depression. Yeah, now I'm in it. I feel good about yourself.

So maybe why can't you pick me out of the depression? Now you know what it's like. I have picked you out of depression straight away. I got you a physio and a scan. I think you both

just fucking... You're shouting at me. I'll tell you what, like physios and this shit, it makes sense. Just walk it off. Mate, the amount they charge, no wonder that you

kept getting injured. I reckon they get you just well enough that you think you're okay, but you'd redo your injury so they get some more fucking money. They're like, yeah,

go on, yeah, you can play. It's a lot of money. It's going to make a nice interesting call with your physio next week, mate. It's a lot of money

though, isn't it? Yeah, but it's so worth it because you're going to get a better knee, you idiot. You do realise, right? What does he need his knee for, really?

I do kind of want it. Picking up his children. I was on Grindathon 2025. He's picking up the other children as well. Picking up his children. I was on Grindathon 2025. He's picking up the other children as well. You were on Grindr? I was on Grindathon 2025. This year I was going to be

fucking beast mode. You were on Grindr? What? Is that an event where all Grindr users meet up and actually I went on Grindr once. It is very common.

I went on Grindr. Because if you don't get you might not be able to walk when he's 50. I can't breathe in this. So what? So what? You worry too much. Your body is your temple. Where are athletes Tom? when he's 50. I can't breathe in this. So what? You worry too much.

Your body is your temple. We're athletes, Tom. Oh, he's come back from Thailand for that one. Namaste, brother. Namaste. No, seriously, though. Without your body, you're a niche. You worry too much, just get on with it.

No, that's true. But you don't want to pick up your kids when you're older. Do you think Tom Garrett treats his body like a temple, Theo? I actually do, yeah. Right. He feeds it a lot where are you going feeds it

milks it drinks it milks it well I do you are milking it it was treated like a temple I had the worst injury and I didn't mention it

half as much as you two do wait what I'm going to hand you my arm oh sorry no I actually forgot by the way I thought it was like? Oh, sorry. No, I actually forgot about that one. I thought it was like a long-term one. Yeah, you forgot about it.

I actually did forget it. Shit happened. You got a new pair of jeans out of it, man. Why are you going to moan about that? You did get jeans. They weren't jeans. Are you jealous that he did? Yeah.

I did. Also, you... I got a new gone boot. What's happened here, mate? You haven't worn yours for a long while. My jeans, yeah. Oh, he's wearing the same tracksuit he's put down as an injury in.

So, I'm now no this thing he hasn't taken them off since he had them you are watching my you're watching my transformation to become a Theo I'm going to start wearing the

recovery leggings yeah yeah I'm going to be wearing everything sporty and I'm I told you it's grindathon 2025 and start using caps

I've got a little I'm not going to ruin my segment it doesn't ruin my segment but I did find I did find, I did find something funny out the other day.

So there's an Inuit, right? That's the correct. Yeah. But there was an Inuit, right? He's been found. He was creating like holes

in the ice. Wait, don't tell me he was found bent over. No, he was, so like they do ice fishing, don't they?

Someone's getting bummed in this scenario. He's been like banished from his tribe why? because they found him he was putting bait

up his arse oh there we go crouching down yeah and like he's putting bait up his arsehole

letting it hang getting an eye sole dipping down and the fish are just nibbling his arse no no it wasn't fish oh it was the hook it was sea lions

sea lions were coming up and like mott nibbling his arse. No, no, it wasn't fish. Oh, it was the hook. It was sea lions. Sea lions were coming up and like mottin' his arse out. Yeah, oh yeah. He was basically just like getting sea lions to lick his arse. As if that actually happened as well. That's actually mental. Funny you say that, actually. Yeah.

I recently did a DNA test. Right. Who wants to hear the report? And you're half sea lion. I don't know how that's a segue. I guess it is now. Wait, what? Where are you from?

Australia. Hang on, hang on. Half Australian, half Thailand. You just made up a story about getting bummed by sea lions. Oh, I got muttered out by a sea lion. What do you think of that?... What do you think of that? It's funny you said that actually. I had a currant the weekend.

I haven't... I haven't made that up. You have. What is a sea lion? Like a seal. Does it look like a lion? Oh, yeah. They eat penguins.

They're like predators. I like them. And arses. They're like big slugs. You've seen a video of the penguin getting on the iceberg. the penguin getting on the iceberg jumps off on the iceberg there's a sea lion

then he shits himself and jumps straight back in yeah no I haven't seen it okay so what do you think of the Inuit do you think he should be banished I think we should invite him on the pod

how can you invite an imaginary man on the pod he's real what are you saying there what would I make that of where's he from do you reckon he thought

what he was doing no no no where's he from I reckon he was Green he was doing was a bit... No, no, no. Where's he from? I reckon he was Greenland. Would you do it? Greenland! He knew it. Right.

That joke's a class. So were you like 50% Thailand, 50% Australian? Turns out I'm 100% European. That surprises me. You speak of a continent comfortably for

you and fucking other continents. You're like 99% English I thought I had some Kenyan in me With my ability to run You don't have an ability To run

Okay harsh I thought I had some Brazilian in me With my ability at football Oh yeah Samba You must have Scottish Because you're ginger Scottish, Irish

Maybe like some Eastern European I think he's just I think he's just I think he's 98% English 2% Scottish Just the most palest Horrible I reckon it's going to be A bland list this It he's 98% English 2% Scottish Just the most Payless Horrible

I reckon it's going to be A bland list this It's going to be like I have a Do you want the detailed I'll give you the basic one The basic one is Give us the percentages

Of the country I'll give you the percentage Well I've done 60% North Western European Shock So it's not even a No I've got a more detailed one I have got a more detailed one

So that's like yeah English You said Eastern European yeah 25% Eastern European, yeah? 25% Eastern European. Yeah, you've got some Latvian in you. Yeah.

7.8% North European. So like, Viking. Scandinavia. Viking. And then 5.6%. Yeah, that would be Southern European guys.

So obviously, that's where I get my olive tan skin, obviously from Greek. With this, like, how the fuck do they know? Like,

no, you're not. You know what I mean but it's your DNA yeah true it's your DNA it's your DNA seriously

like fuck off that's just like for me that's like when people buy you a star online and I'm like it's not

yeah the star's there but you didn't buy the star your genetic code would tell you where you're from see zoo has he got the

coding right there they've got the cordon right there? They've just fucking random numbers out there. I swear to... They just went, fuck it, this guy, 60%, 30%, 5%, 5%. And then that's how they do it. Are you stupid? You are. Yeah, I know that, but...

You might be, like, genetically stupid. Have you got the actual cord there? What, my issue... Because I've seen his results of other things the only thing I from the DNA test look at personal

yeah no need for that man yeah well I could reveal that but my issue is like it says he has like a high risk of injury but

how would they know that from DNA it's a bullshit bone density he's got terrible bone density problem would you know that from

well should I should I read you what it actually says that's what I mean like from DNA alone you wouldn't necessarily know that would you man well

well I think maybe you would I just think that you randomise it and see if I think your ancestors are the ones who got all pillaged

well ancestry you would be able to tell where you're from in DNA because that's how genetic codes work you look like what you call

Edward do I yeah you do look pretty like do you know edward the archer oh yeah no i've been told that i'm very viking especially when i went to denmark they were like speaking to me in danish i was like oh yeah i don't know what you're on about i think you've got a bit of dagastan in you what could be no yeah mine be, mine would probably be like, obviously British, Irish, and then probably like Italian or... Russian. You look Russian.

Yeah, he looks Russian. He's half American, remember? No. I think he would be like Italian for me because I've got a big nose. With the, you know the injury thing you mentioned there? You look a little like...

Oh, you're not... Polish. You're not of this world. I don't know what I am. Yeah, that's 50% Asian. It's definitely not a place that has good... It's not Sweden, world i don't know what i am it's 50% you're definitely not a place that has good it's not sweden let's put it that way is it that's true actually you know what i mean it's gonna be like a fucking yeah you're probably like you do you mind sweden or something or like teeth are english kazakhstan my teeth pre

like kazakhstan you're more kazakhstan what because i've got a beard yes yeah what person do you know who's got a beard? Don't say Borat. Not in your business. If you had a darker complexion, I could say a little bit Turkish. Have you seen a photo of Danny? No. Recently. Oh, the coat.

That's what I think I'd go for me. Maybe mainly British, but also maybe a bit Italian. Because they're quite pale as well. Bongiorno. Right, carry on. You know the injury thing? Yeah. So each thing, it tells you what,

it gives you a score of zero to five of how reliable they think the DNA can compare to that. Injury runs a four out of ten. So it's to do with these genes are involved

in collagen production. That's not wrong. Collagen production have been linked with a higher risk of injury of the ACL, Achilles tendon, as well as creating

a greater suspected something about cramping. Hypothetically, do these people... They listed all the genes as well. Hypothetically, Achilles tendon, as well as creating a greater suspected something about cramping. Hypothetically, do these people... They listed all the genes as well. Hypothetically, do these people, if they know all this about you, they might not put it on the list, but the person who scanned his results,

they'll know how big his dick is, surely, like of all the information you get. You've got a weird thing to that. What is wrong with you? I'm just saying, I'm just saying, the person who read that probably knows what you are, because you turned down

the opportunity for a hundred million pounds of wanking off an elephant and now you're bringing up his comp size I'm just saying, if they have all that information about it underneath,

they won't put it on the sheet but they'll probably say dick size to them. They'll be able to tell us and they'll read it through and they'll be judging you. They'll be like, they'll get to Tom

and they'll be like, fuck you now. And then they'll get to me and they'll be like, whoa. Because I did say my power capacity is high so i'm more suited to explosive sports because i've got high power and obviously high power is a massive dick oh okay um so i'm high power medium strength medium endurance and the sports they recommended me to play which suits my dna type get this boys it all makes sense now

yeah tennis okay played tennis my whole life right I chose football over tennis in year seven as which one

to go county was that wrong obviously wrong one I should have chosen kind of

yeah do I go for music do I go for basketball yeah I chose football over tennis big rookie error and then it also says martial arts

and boxing. It said I'll be good at boxing. Oh, no way. This is my chance. I'm going to return to the ring. Yeah, but you're the only person with that information that doesn't want to get in the ring. Yeah, mate, I'm built for boxing.

No, thanks, lads. Too good for the sport. Mate, if I actually pursued it right, I could be in the position of Jake Paul right now. Yes. Too good for the sport. Mate, if I actually pursued it, right? Yeah, you could knock Anthony Joshua out. I could be in the position of Jake Paul right now. Yes. So, due to my DNA, I think I might get back in the ring. Yeah, right.

Okay. You could get in the back of the ring. Who's the fight? In the back of your ring? Who's the fight out there for Theo Baker? Beaver. It also says I'm likely... He's a bit bigger than he is.

It also says I'm likely to be sensitive as well. How would it know that? Okay, now I'm actually back on board now, yeah. How would it... Yeah. That's pretty accurate. Yeah, I mean, they're just fun little things, aren't they? I don't think they're meant to be.

How would it know that from DNA? Yeah. If you're emotional. That's all to do with your nurturing. Gifted musically. True. Again, how would it know that? Which also isn't true.

Yes, it is. How are you gifted musically? Both my parents are music teachers. I grew up playing like instruments, like heavy. Play piano really to a high level. They are. But how is that genetically predisposed?

Did he also say that you're a homosexual man on there? Creativity. Again, how is that predisposed? I told you, it's a load of shit. Why are you buying into it? How could that be genetically predisposed? Sorry. They just robbed him of 50 quid.

I'm not believing it. Everything. A lot of things, boys, you don't understand, right, are genetically... Like, you talk about Messi, Ronaldo. You always say, Messi's genetically better, man, and Ronaldo's more nurture.

Yeah. What? Where do you think the argument's from? Nature versus nurture. Nature versus nurture. Everything's a combination of both, but your genes do... Like, for example,

sprinters versus marathon runners, their genes are completely different. I totally would get that, but how would it, how would your genetics predispose how musically talented you are? Well, why are some people just in music?

No, because you could put two kids in the same room together when they're both three years old. Yeah. One of them will just be able to pick up something straight away and one of them won't. Yeah, to be fair,

my dad's like that and I can't do any instruments. Some people can just, some people like Charlie Puth, for example, can just create songs out of nowhere. Right.

But a lot of it's not. He can sing a song and he'll just play it on the piano. Yeah, but what I'm saying is a lot of that is exposure to the environment. Not very good, but I can do it.

Pupadisco. Theo, I just wanted to ask you a question actually on that Misfits thing because you've seen that Jinj clip where you were like, oh, he wants to bring back headguards and then more people

will be willing to do it if they brought back like head guards so it's not serious it's not knockout and you could just have like a fun scrap for the people for the culture would you then return under those circumstances no but the problem is with the head guards there's less you less jeopardy there'll be less people tuning in because people don who care about not for people who care about after finding out my DNA

I'm more likely to do it without head guards mate I'm gonna win now the Weller rematch is on there for you well I don't wanna hurt him now I know

about DNA that's what he says isn't it he doesn't wanna do it because he knows what he's but I didn't know this about myself

now I know that I've gifted gifted him I didn't know I just I know what I'm that I've gifted him. Like he's fucking Rambo. Gifted him boxing. I didn't know. I just don't want him. I know what I'm capable of behind closed doors. I don't want to work out. I wouldn't need to train, would I?

No, no, you're right. You'd probably win a world title. Right, send the contract misfits. The old bit is back in. The price is high though, lads. Because it's seven years of not getting any money. You'd do it for 500k? No.

What? What is your... Keep up in the price. No, genuinely, what is your realistic minimum price? Who am I fighting? It doesn't matter. You are fighting. It definitely matters who I'm fighting. No, I think you'd be...

If I'm fighting like... A tiger. I think it would be someone who's a beginner, who's trained the same amount as you. Like two beginners beginners similar size whatever what if your opponent was him

oh I'd definitely take that fight but how much for I'd take it for free for free right so no one's making money off this fight

we did say we wanted to do the pitch side card I discovered something he always does it I don't know my cock isn't that he just gets

fucking excited when he gets near the headband. Is it true though? That's the real question. Mine was true. The Inuit's fucking true. No, no. I'm saying his.

Because him saying he's discovered something doesn't necessarily mean it's actually a fact. So I have found a website which I'm not sure if you're aware of. Now don't...

Number one... YouTube.com. Number one, don't ask me why I found it. Google.co.uk. Oh, wait. Don't ask why. No, no, YouTube.com. Number one, don't ask me why I found it. Google.co.uk. Oh, wait. Don't ask why. No, no, no.

I know exactly what this is. And the fact that he knows about this website is really, really freaking me out. I think Lewis might be one of the filthiest freaks we have ever met, but he's secretly a filthy freak. I'm telling you, this guy... Are you getting all Kanye West tweets?

No, even worse, Tom. Even worse. I'm telling you, this is worse Are you getting all Kanye West tweets? No, even worse, Tom. Even worse. I'm telling you, this is worse. This guy is... I'll just step away from him. He's got weird fetishes, mate. I don't know. Whatever him and Charlie get up to at night,

I don't want to know. Show me that. Charlie doesn't know about this. So, it's essentially a website that rates YouTubers' feet. Oh, hello. Not just YouTubers. Everyone' feet. What? Oh, hello. Not just YouTubers. Everyone's feet.

So it's called WikiFeet Men. How the fuck have they got that information? There is WikiFeet Women as well apparently. So essentially, if you look here,

if you look here, there's like loads of pictures of people's feet and Have you got a foot fetish? You have to. Let me just answer the question honestly. Have you got a foot fetish?

No, I don't like feet. But it does beg the question, how would you find this website? I don't know. I've just stumbled upon this. Oh, Tom Garrett's feet. Where is it? I need it tonight.

So I just wonder why you guys are asking me for photos of me on holiday. And when I was scrolling through, I saw this familiar name. It's Theo, isn't it? It says Theo Baker. Now, what really pisses me off

is it's rated 4.67 out of five stars. Theo's feet! I've seen his feet! They're good feet, man. And there's... It's because there's variety. Oh!

How fucking revolting is this? There's variety in the foot. Look how young you are, though. That's the picture of his arse! That's not even a fucking... Do you know what's weird? Oh, my! Why are you uploading that? It's because of the bent toe.

Some of these pictures are taken from such weird scenarios. Like, why the fuck is someone gathering this? His feet aren't that bad though. They fucking are. Jesus, his feet are minging. They're not 0.4 away from perfection. No, yeah. But they're not minging.

I think they like crooked feet they like I think they like crooked feet like it makes the dirtier the better when it comes to the feet a couple bent toes how the fuck have you already

dissected the actual foot web joint oh my god I think I've got decent feet are you getting jealous of my score a bit yeah

and then so then I was curious I was like who else do I know Lewis people are going to have to you're going to put this screen recording on on camera right people are going to have to, you're going to put this screen recording on camera, right?

People are going to have to watch this, aren't they, Lewis? So I searched for Reeve. Yeah. Oh, you are on this. Oliver Fletcher Warrington, maybe? Surely I'm putting more than under that.

Oliver Fletcher. 4.73 stars out of 5 you you're beating me you have better feet no way your feet

your feet are horrible yeah your feet are grim mate how do you feel knowing that are you naked how do you feel knowing that men are out here

and women wanking all this look at them stay at them toes they are horrible no offence no no no I'm not

I'm not rating them I don't know how anyone's how do you feel that people are like masturbating over your feet is that what they're horrible. No offence. No, no, no. I'm not rating them. I don't know how anyone's... How do you feel that people are like masturbating over your feet? Is that what they're doing? You?

You're not on here. You? And they're doing it... And we're not getting paid? That's the worst bit. Type in the burnt chip or Josh Larkin. Oh, they have some

proper rancid feet. They are. I've got runner's feet anyway. I've got footballer's feet. Yeah. It's not coming off. Bent toes. My feet just cave in.

But does it make you feel weird knowing that people might be enjoying your feet a little bit too much? Well, now that I've got a fan in it's made, I'm pretty sure. What was Josh's rating?

They're like sausages. His rating is 4.6. What? Yes! I've got better feet than Josh. Who's rating these? People are wanking over him probably.

Yeah, Lewis. He's only got four pictures on there. I feel like they're... Is there any of me on here? Yeah, because he's protected over his

feet, mate. I feel like they're also maybe accounting for more of the body when they're rating these because there's no way that my feet are 4.7 out of 5.

Do you know what's weird? There's so much material off Theo's feet out there. There's like four pictures here for Chip. You had like 15 pictures,

like even more. You have so much. Why do you post them so much? Well, they asked me to send photos so I have to send them in. Yeah, so that's just a little scrotum thing. I used to post my feet

all the time in my stories because people used to hate it. That's me fucking up. Wow, that's a fucking weird little... You're a weird little... That's a great TikTok though, right? We should get other YouTubers to get more views quickly. I'm into my feet.

Type in Cal Freezy feet. It was a bit weird how excited you got for that segment. What do you mean you don't want to see it? I want to see Cal Freezy feet. Have you seen the Spanish TV show thing? Oh, I have. We want to see my feet. Oh, no.

Let's see this. Oh, mate. Have you not seen it? Yeah, I've seen it. Oh, there's no point in that. Temptation Island. Mate, it's my favourite thing Oh mate, have you not seen it? Yeah, I've seen it. Montoya. Oh, there's no point in that. Temptation Island. Mate, it's my favourite thing in the world. You have destroyed me!

When it cuts to him running across the beach and then it goes back to him and he's proper giving it. It's like, man, they must have fast-forwarded the clip. But isn't he also just in the hot tub with another bird? No, no, no, that was someone else. That's a different one.

He apparently the night before was this girl was twerking on his face and then he sucked someone's tit or whatever. He apparently the night before was this girl was twerking on his face and then he sucked someone's tit or whatever. So he was no saint but the reaction is unbelievable. Yeah, but for her

to just go and fucking show they've been together years I don't think Edmonton is so fucking funny. People have found out he plays amateur football doesn't he and he's a wingback

everyone's like oh fucking hell he's a Spanish wingback with that pace Arteta's going to be in for him. Yeah, so this girl they were together for how long

they've been together a few years but the whole the show is there's two houses there's ten couples but the couple split and then singles

go in with them and there's trying to graph with people in couples and the other house watch them see how they get but apparently

what happens is so say the girls villa with all the ten single lads say if someone does something like kisses or fl so say the girls' villa with all the 10 single lads, say if someone does something like kisses or flirts, in the men's villa, an alarm goes off, but that's it until the next day, they then all sit down together in a show and all the clips from the previous day.

So imagine that day of like, no one knows whose girlfriend's cheated or done anything. They're all just sat there going, they know an alarm's gone off, so they know something's happened. They've got just sat there going, they know an alarm's gone off so they know something's happened. They've got to wait to sit down

and watch it all. And he just, he just sat the alarm off. He just ran across to the villa. Yeah, yeah. He broke all the rules. But apparently like, this is like the eighth season

of this. Yeah, no, so he was watching such a fucked up show. Also, what couple would apply to that show? Oh no, yeah,

it's mental. Have you not seen it? I have seen it, yeah. He runs over when he's like watching it and they start to get into bed. Yeah, we've all seen it. No, because he was saying... We've all seen it.

No, he didn't because he said did he run over when the alarm went off? It was like he was watching it at that point. It was on like a private viewing with one of the girls outside, wasn't it? But what the worst thing is he booted over the iPad so they had to change to a big screen

that he couldn't boot. So then the big screen is just her getting shagged. But why? I don't get what couple would go on that show. Yeah.

Well, fame and yeah. Munchala. But do you know what? Have you seen the extended version where he gets to the house and then she like has

a go and then he's like crying. She comes out and hugs him. Yeah, she comes back out and hugs him and is like trying to get

back to her. It's like you've just been shagging literally two minutes ago. And then you're shagging as well. Yeah, it cuts him running

across the pj. And then I fucking go. And the back of the room and he's fucking grabbing her. literally two minutes ago you've been shagging as well yeah it could could run across the pj in the back of the room he's like a duracell honestly yeah as funny and

insane as it was i did almost i felt weird watching it it was a bit like yeah it's weird but they try to do it like out of us for you and

charlie are most likely to go on that show montoya charlie would you would you if you go on that show. Montoya! Charlie! Would you, would you,

if you were on that show, who would be the number one bloke to come in and destroy the relationship? What? Wait, are you asking who is preferred man to shag his butt? No, I didn't like, if I am to be a cook,

then, okay. No, I didn't like, if there had to be one guy you didn't want to come in Sam Fender yeah you reckon he'd destroy it instantly nah I just think like

if there's someone who's going to woo Charlie Sam Fender comes in and starts playing the guitar I have already got with her yeah that's true hey lad that's how you're done

what I have yeah I know but Lewis is like yeah lad banner just lads yeah yeah it's just just lads being lads

innit lad so it's actually Sam Fender you'd be like shit Tim Tears should I be the northeast

he's just looming his mum and dad and all of his family I feel like Sam Fender could shag anyone

in the northeast I'd be Tim Tears coming in Sam Fender could shag anyone in the northeast I feel like what about you

yeah yeah yeah Scotty T in there as well temptation to uh good vibrations restoration because you three are getting cooked at the minute two no down yeah we need to have a talk for what last week lads no last week last week goblin gaz is somehow somehow lads and let's not shout each other but somehow last week we didn't go to the game rather than going

with Dr Max Powers who's researching how gay sex not anal sex gay sex makes power and whatever makes sense

we instead sided with Theo's ability to study magic and mind reading are we just are we getting the fact that Lewis

you go it has to be this therefore it must be that and therefore because of these it's this no no I agree you give every be this therefore it must be that and therefore because of these two it's this no no I agree you give every single one

it says it's that it was all of it but I was with A but then I believed in your powers in the dark yeah that is your fault for believing that

yes I agree I'm saying it's all of our fault I'm saying us as a collective we have to take he went Hogwarts we can't deny that we have to take consideration we literally

went so crazy we chose magic mate there's a reason there's a reason my name needs to be Malfoy also we have to take consideration we literally went so crazy we chose magic there's a reason my name needs to be Malfoy also you need to take into consideration I'm a fucking

I'm a savvy guy also it's a bit scary how good you are at lying and I'm in your head I don't think he is a good liar I think we're being silly no I

certainly last week I think we just overlooked it his first two words were gay sex are we also introducing the mafia game or not

we can do it at the end we haven't got a quiz now so we can do it we'll do that at the end first two words were gay sex. Are we also introducing the Mafia game or not? We can do it at the end. We haven't got quiz now so we can do it at the end. We'll do that at the end. Traders.

So this week I have cooked again. So do you want to sing me in? Can we have a team talk? Take us away with a team talk.

Gas gobbles. Why is this turning into a gobble? The guessing gas. Now pack it in. Gobbling guesses. Can you please speak Gobbles Why is this turning into Oh gobble Guessing gas No pack it in No pack it in Gobbling guesses Can you please

Speak some rationale Can you tell us to pack it in No I like it though No but Pack it in Off my It's fucking really It upsets me a bit

Cause there's a lot Of them Off my Stop Yeah no Off my yeah Pack it in Is that a Rolex by the way

No This is Tissot G7X It looks Yeah, no. Off mic, yeah. Pack it in. Is that a Rolex, by the way? No. This is Tissot G7X. It looks... Come on then, let's fucking do it. It's a Tissot Pierrot. You've seen someone find a Rolex at the bottom of the seabed and then it still worked.

No, but do you know where it come from? Someone's arse. The Inuit's arse. Okay. Let's do... Okay, so... Come on, boys. Our boys! What? Team name? It's currently 3-0, ass the Inuits ass okay let's do the Limerick okay so come on boys our boys

what team name it's currently 3-0 by the way is it 3 or 2 3 hands in I thought one didn't count because of his

mischief yeah we've done 4 have we done 4 thunder lions have we done 4 3-0 we've done 4

but one didn't count yeah 3-0 down yeah we were 3 it was shit we chose fucking gear sex all the well you know what they say three nil is the most dangerous score

line in guessing gas goblin gary a city-wide mystery as phantom pooper strikes again right no no let's just leave ignore all the way, preconceptions on the tech. Don't say that, please. Okay, headline number two. Australian politician changes his name to Aussie Trump. That's got to be true. Headline number three. Oh, that's not a very good headline. Oh, this is all part of his game. This is all part of his game.

He knows what he's doing. I suppose, yeah. UK's foreign office cat, Palmerston, shows up for duty in Bermuda. That's got to be true. They're all true. Right, super helpful.

What was the cat called, sorry? Palmerston. Palmerston. Why have I never heard Palmerston before? So, basically, this cat... Paul Merson? This is a cat who was pretty... Since, like, the 1900s,

there's been something called a chief mouser in... Oh, my God. That is true. In the Houses of Parliament. I know that's true. So, there's... Basically, a cat is part of Parliament. Yeah.

And it goes... Is it a bloodline cat, or is it just... I'm not sure, but... Is it a descendant of the original hunt mice? He formerly served as a chief mouser at the UK's Foreign Commonwealth Office

in London. They do? And after a few years of enjoying a life of leisure, the Diplo cat, Diplo? Named after the country's longest serving

Foreign Secretary, is back on the job but this time he's gone to Bermuda. And now he's been a chief mouser in Bermuda for the UK. Are there relations of the English government in Bermuda? Probably. I mean time he's gone to Bermuda. And now he's been a chief mouse out in Bermuda for the UK. Are there relations of the English government in Bermuda? Probably.

I mean, why is he in Bermuda, can I ask? Proddy's Bermuda-ian, isn't he? Is he? Proddy's Bermuda. He was recently sworn... Oh, so here we go. He retired in 2020 and Palmerston has lived with his former co-worker, Andrew Murdoch, and his family

and shared occasional online update on his former co-worker, Andrew Murdoch, and his family and shared occasional online update on his leisurely country life. However, Murdoch has recently been sworn in as a new governor of Bermuda and he's convinced the government to employ the cat. So what's happened is Murdoch has moved to Bermuda and taken his cat with him. Guys, can we admit how mental this sounds?

This sounds like the back's powers are all over again. I think this might be the most realistic story we've ever heard on this show. But is that not why it's fake? So Paul Muston

isn't the only British cat in a public-fighting government role. Look how much detail he's going in. Come on. Yes, what the... He's been asked three times.

He fucking knows to do detail. Larry the cat is the chief mouser at number 10. Oh, guys, come on. I've actually heard of Larry. What are you doing?

What are you doing? Are you cheating? No, I'm giving Luke a code to log into Adobe. Sorry. Wait, what's it like? I think that's true. Tell them all about another one.

That's true. No, we can't. We can't jump to conclusions. An Australian politician has legally changed his name to Austin Trump. I thought you said Aussie Trump. Aussie Trump, sorry.

Aussie Trump in a move inspired by Donald Trump. But it could be Austin, couldn't it? In what he said... You're just mistaken. ...was a protest against the country's ruling centre-left Labour Party. But, Tom, is his name Austin? Why did you get mixed up there, Tom? Because the headline says Aussie, but here it says Austin.

So I'm not really sure. Chachi BT. It's a nickname then, isn't it? Chachi BT. No, it's aie, but here it says Austin. So I'm not really sure. Chachubi Tea. It's a nickname then, isn't it? Chachubi Tea. No, it's a nickname, isn't it? Austin, Aussie. Chachubi Tea's mixed it up. Aussie Austin, isn't it?

It stopped spelling it right. So he... It is. He posted a tweet of the certificate of him changing his name with the caption, Vote Labour out and drill, baby, drill. That is such a Chachubi Tea headline. changing his name with the caption vote Labour out and drill baby drill. Because you know

that is such a chatty BT headline. Lewis, if Tom had told us, right? They don't even have Labour. No, if Tom had told us

that we were in Australia. Yeah, they do. Do they? If Tom had told us. Yes, they do. It's not called Labour.

It is. It's not. It is. He went. So do you know that? Yes. He is so like, he has no idea.

Is it? He told Australian News, I want to be like Trump in the sense of calling out woke leftist nonsense. I would love to reach out to Donald. He can just ring the office here if he wants, he said. Well, you know, so if we were in Australia right now, right? I'm so afraid. And Tom told us that there was a bloke who dresses up as like a castle

when he's going for the prime minister job. Was it Mr.? Lord Buckethead. Buckethead. Yeah. We'd say that's Buckethead. Buckethead. Yeah. We'd say that's a lie, but it's true. This is an article

that has misspellings in. That is a chat GBT all over. It's fake. And what was the first one again? Ozzy and Austin. Tom, where is Ozzy? I'm asking him. Where is he based in Australia?

Doesn't say. He is all in a muddle now this one we have fucking got him boys Western Australia oh

we got him it just says Western Australia Perth probably most likely what does that mean it's not true just because I don't

know the exact oh he's getting angry when we start to get on him about this one it's interesting you can clearly just do a quick

google find out where Ozzy's from. I'm just reading the article. He's giving himself away. What was the first one again? The two. Phantom. Oh, no. So in Denver, Colorado.

Oh, it's always Denver. It's always Denver. So in Denver, Colorado, residents are on high alert after yet another bizarre incident involving an unknown individual. He's now been dubbed by the local press as the Phantom Pooper.

He's leaving human waste in increasingly elaborate locations across the city. How do they know it's human poo? You can tell. I think you can tell. You smell it. You can't always tell. How do you know?'s human poo? You can tell. I think you can tell. You smell it. You can't always tell.

You can't always tell. How do you know? Well, do you implode? Well, because if it's like people that have a really bad diet. No, the odd times I've seen a human shit on the street, you can tell it's a human shit. I think that's the legal. I second that.

There was some outside this building. You can tell, man. Okay, right. Not just a big dog. No, you can tell human shit. so the latest incident occurred early tuesday morning when employees at a local coffee shop discovered a single neatly placed deposit outside the front door so he's leaving his nuggets outside people's homes so that means no that no that means he must shit and then place it down nicely squats in the place he wants to it was neatly placed he said so they must shit and then place it down nicely. Or he just squats in the place he wants to.

No, but it was neatly placed, he said, so he must shit and then place it down later on. He's a phantom pooper, though, isn't he? Other recent targets include a mailbox, the hood of a parked Tesla. He's not squatting on the top of a Tesla and shitting, like. And most disturbingly, the mayor's podium.

The chat TV couldn't make this up. It could make all of them up. No, you have to think. What would he type in? He would type in, give me a fake story about I asked him shitter. Give me a fake story about poo. I cracked it. Also, he could say, give me a fake story about Trump.

And it would come up with a person rather than fine. Can you try your magic one more time just to give us a bench. Wait, so you started this section of let's not fucking follow his magical advice

and then now you're whipping it out again because you haven't got a fucking... A was the phantom pooper. And B? B is the Aussie Trump. And C? C is the cat. Yes, B.

You getting any reads? It's B. I said it was B. I thought it was B originally. You got to the right when I said it was B. I thought it was B originally. He looked up to the right when he said it was B. So you all agree on B? That's the first time.

Do we agree? Based off his initial readings, I thought it was B. Wait, does that make it? What did he again? Ozzy Trump. Lads, lads, lads, lads, lads. He said the guy had a shit

on a mayor's podium. They don't even leave those outside. Like, that goes against all logic. How's he had a shit on a mayor's podium. They don't even leave those outside. Like, that goes against all logic. How's he had a shit on the mayor's podium? That's it. That's what the Phantom... Mate, he's a superhero. He's Phantom Pooper, mate.

Phantom Pooper. Again, I feel like we're doing the mistake of... No, no, no. It's not real. If you think the story's fake, that wouldn't be the reason why it's fake. That's very doable. It's not.

Go on, then. I don't know. I feel like we're going silly again. All right, well, let's think this through. No, let's not think this through.

Out of all the articles that are most likely for Tom to type an initial sentence into a chat, what do you think is the highest likelihood? The poo.

But is that not why he would, but he wouldn't do that twice, two weeks in a row. Or would he? He's playing us. As you're trying to... Yeah, he's trying to test our mettle.

I feel like the Bermuda Cat one just is so ludicrous that it must be true. No. Because we thought that was the gear sex. I personally feel like... That's what we did with the whale, mate. I personally feel like the Bermuda Cat is true.

I think it might be. The Bermuda Triangle. You said they have a head mice hunter. Yeah, I've feel like that. That's what we did with the whale, mate. I personally feel like the mutacat is true. I think it might be. You said they have a head mice on to Yeah, I've heard that before.

Okay, so. You say that all the time and you're always wrong but he always says he's heard

of them. I have heard of that. That is true. You do always say that. I have heard of that.

You do always say that. By the way, that's definitely true. I'm surprised you guys haven't heard of that.

You've seen that the Australia have at labour when they don't. They do. Do you know that for a fact or are you just trying to make yourself

look intelligent? It's just so... It doesn't help when our TV lies. I don't know. It could really help as if we know it's the actual answer

but rather than trying to look smart you can just say do you know what, I'm guessing. I'll tell you how I know because I was going to the studio

they had Labour fucking signs. What's the other party? Are you sure that wasn't for a hospital? That's such dead right. Our own teammate is lying to us which is why this is so impossible. They have Labour in Australia. You were guessing. We know that for certain.

You were guessing. One of the parties in Australia has made a huge... I would say he doesn't know that for certain. He definitely doesn't. Whoever's in charge has just made a huge step for... He's just making for Storford

to make it sound valid what the natives called in Australia the aborigines there's huge laws who've just been passed or something and they could support them

before doing any activity or any meeting or anything Australia if we do anything you have to say a thanks

to the aboriginal aborigines and natives of Australia thanks to the Aboriginal Aborigines and natives of Australia. Thanks to the land as well. Okay, okay. So is it Labour Party? Yes or no?

What's that? He just said random facts. That's what I mean. Is there a Labour Party in Australia? Yes. No, but when you're running and you run off road, you have to say thank you to how they've preserved the land. Is it a meeting?

By the way, I'm actually more inclined to know more about Australia law, given the emu wall, and I've actually researched it. Okay, so is there a Labour in Australia? There was never a Labour mentioned. But is that a newer party that would have been put into existence? Guys, he talked about emus ganging up and fighting. And it was real. Are you stress eating? No, I'm hungry, Ian. that would have been put into existence. Guys, he's talking about emus ganging up and fighting. And it was real.

Are you stress eating? No, I'm hungry eating. Lads, come on, man. I don't know. And I can't be arsed. I can't be arsed to lose. It can't be four. I've said my piece.

It can't be four. You did all agree on B, but then you're having second thoughts. Because the phantom shitter. Shut up, mate. Phantom shitter. Straight after Max Powers and his bumming electric powered machine. It's like, how much shit is he going to spout, man?

Your shit. Is your head... Fuck off. Disappearing during the segment. He's so stressed. Because I don't know know I really don't know I think I would go oh just shut up

I don't need your opinion on what I need to do I'm not trying to sway you of course you are no I'm not whatever you agree whatever you all agree with uh

Aussie what's me I was Australia oh interesting Tom because I originally said it was B but now I don't think that

why okay you said he looks right on B you said you Oh, interesting, Tom, because I originally said it was B, but now I don't think that. Why? Okay. You said he looked right on B. You said you... Yeah, we all was wrong. He's not published retirement, it was B. We got right recording a memory, left is lying. What?

So when you read it... That's not necessarily true either. No, but also when he read it, he said you looked right on B, you're lying. Yeah. So B isn't the Aussie one. But no one always recalls the memory. No, but it must be wrong because that's...

Are you really trained in the dark arts? Are you sure you're a magician? Because I'm starting to question it. So the cat is real. Australia is real. So it must be the phantom pooper. Well, that's what he's swaying towards. No, but I was already

playing devil's advocate. So you think B? I think Chachy B T I've missed up a spelling Why is it called Austin and Aussie At the same time Because that's a nickname

Isn't it I think the headline Was a nickname Like the Aussie Trump Australian Trump It's like the Australian Trump Isn't it So he's called

Austin Trump I think he's Yeah he's called Austin Trump He's changed No he was called Austin Summer And he's changed it to Trump

He had to get more boas. Right, what was C again? C was the cat. That's real. The fact that he's so quick to

say it's real makes me feel his fear. Tom's not doing this. My analysis of Tom has been, since

we've said it's either B or A, he's been very confident in talking to us. So that might imply that

we are so far away from the city oh actually see the chief mouse is real lads that might be real but the the account created by chat gpt could be right i've got i've got i've got a good take are you right no i've got good genuinely the only reason i'm saying that is because when we've said oh it's definitely but now it's intentionally been Austin Trump Austin Trump or fucking the pooper man that was intentionally quiet to try and make us think you're right. Well I can't win then can I say anything? Oh you can win. You definitely can

win. I'm gonna win. Right when have we became closest to getting it right we stopped thinking about the headlines and we thought about it as ABC say we revert back and get into the mind of Tom. ABC which would he C. A. Say we revert back and get into the mind of Tom. A. A, B, C, which would he choose? A. No, that's not the question.

There's been three Bs in a row. That's not the question. That's totally irrelevant. It's not. Four times in a row, you might do it. A. I think you might do B

four times in a row. That's not true. Last week was C. Oh, C. Did you just say things as a fact? He hasn't done A. He's never done A.

No, he did A last week. A was the gay sex. It was A or C. A was gay sex last week. I think he might be doing B, B done A. He hasn't done A. He's never done A. No, you just said he did that last week. A was the gay sex. A was gay sex last week. Yeah, I think he's doing B, B, A, A. Oh yeah, it was gay sex was first. The first thing he said was the fake one. B, B, A, A. Or A, A, B, B.

No, we've done three Bs. Yeah, but therefore it's going to be A now. I think he likes getting the lie out of the way earlier. He's done A, B, B, this now is A, and then he's spelling out ABBA. That doesn't make any sense. We didn't start with A. I was last week, it would be BABBA. We started with B.

BABBA. It would be B, B, B, A. BABBA. So we B again. Honestly, lads, we've descended into brain rot again. No, because B, A, B, A. His subconscious suggests it would be it is. His subconscious suggests it would be B again.

Okay, Lewis, this is enough waffle now. We're going to vote. I'm voting C. I promise you, I haven't done it based on fucking... I agree with my old...

No, he hasn't. I don't think he has. I think it's here. What are you voting for? It's here. I'm picking C because only when we started heading down the routes

of A and B, he got very confident. Therefore, I'm maybe thinking that he'd... Okay, you're locked in on A and B, he got very confident. Therefore, I'm maybe thinking that he'd... Okay, you all looked in on B. No, he's big and smiling. He's big and smiling. What are you voting for?

I would like to say because I think he likes to say that lie earlier when he reads out the headlines to get it sort of over and done with. I think it's A.

Okay, that's it. Or B. Yeah, you've got to read your life story. So you've got C, you've got A. Don't say it. B.. I'll B. Yeah, you don't need your life story. So you've gone C, you've gone A. Don't say it. B.

You've gone B. Don't say it. Don't even mind. Five minutes ago, you all agreed on B. Yeah. And now you're on A. I don't know how you

ended up on C. You're on C, you're on A. What do you think? I don't know how Reeve got over to C. No, I've got on to C because the psychology

of all of us going, oh, B, B, B. He's suddenly going, fucking hell, yeah, I'm in here again. You the psychology of all of us going, oh, B, B, B. He's suddenly going, fucking hell, yeah, I'm in here again. You may be right, Reeve, but ultimately it comes down to my decision. No, it doesn't. It's a three-way tie. We all have to agree. I think it's A because...

Right, well, I've been out of vote. Shall we go with A? I want to hear why. No, you said you're going with A. As much as I think it's true. No, no, no, let's all final decision. That is the most you thing. Okay. I've been out of vote. Are we all absolutely sure here with A yeah no no no let's all final decision that is the most you thing okay

I've been out of vote are we all absolutely sure here no no no are we sure but remember common sense Theo says A but magician Theo says B I don't like it

I don't like it I really don't like it I think he's trying to rush us to a decision you just said A can we do B can we please do B can we please do B

Lewis we've got to film Wolfman later please do B you agreed on A please do B no lads please locked B? Can we please do B? Lewis, we've got to film Waffling later. Please do B. You agreed on A. Please do B. No. Lads, please. It's locked in, Tom.

Reveal. I think it's going to be B. I really do. What are you saying? Which one are you going for? Because I was about to reveal then. Lewis, if it's B, then Magician Theo's right

and we have to revert back to Magician. I want to say B, please. I plead to you. No, you can't change. He's locked in. He has to change now. Please.

I don't give a fuck, mate. I'm voting C. Now you're all on different ones. It's locked it in. He has changed now. I don't give a fuck, mate. I'm voting C. Now you're all on different ones. It's A. I'm not changing my vote, so you two decide between you. And I'm getting out voting it because I know I'm fucking right. You're like someone who can't make up their mind what they want for dinner. I've decided I want burger and B.

Burger! Yeah, I actually know it's B. All right, let's go. I feel it in my heart. All right, well, this is on you again and we're going to lose, so it's A. I actually feel it in my heart, I promise. this is on you again and we're going to lose, so be good. Mate, I'm actually feeling it in my heart, I promise. It's A. You're having a heart attack.

So what are we doing? B. Why are we letting him choose? Because he's challenged now. Please, Theo, please. I trusted you with your dark arts. You've gone B, what are you going for? I'm on C. We all agreed B before.

I'm on A. We all agreed B before. You agreed A with him just two seconds ago. We all were on B one point. We weren't all on A. Let's stop covering all bases. You said A. You said A.

Just go fucking A because it's a poo one. Yeah. Fuck. Believe in the poo. I don't think it's going to be the poo. I think it's B. I told you Magician Theo said B, so we're covering on there as well. Are you ready?

I think it's B. What are we trying to go in for? We've gone A, Tom. We have to go A, but I think it's B. Tom, anything Lewis now says, you don't listen to. Okay, right.

I hope he's right so much. I prefer... Cat. He's a real story. Yeah. Okay, that's good. Oh, guys. The Australian Trump.

He's a real story. Yeah! Yeah, fuck you! Hey. Fuck you! Not having it from you, son. We did it as a team. We tried to last minute sabotage you.

I didn't. I just, I was... I hold my hands up. I was wrong there. I really didn't think that last week I thought I could get you with the poo

yeah I thought you'd go you're not going to do that similar one like that but that's why you would no but Lewis you said every single answer possible

and then tried to change it to B you are getting no credit you become like a mental case do you know what I mean you scare me you look mental as well

as a strapline it is the most likely thing he could type into chat GPT something to do with poo so why did you vote for C? I just the manner in which

whenever we started talking about A and B he got really like and I nearly got you then because when you both said hey I was like alright okay then and then you're like

oh he's gone quick that's what maybe that's what maybe wanted to do you're one of the most simple fellas I've ever met that's actually what maybe wanted to do

that was ballsy from you there yeah 3-1 well done I can hold that You're one of the most simple fellas I've ever met. That's actually what made me want to cheat. That was ballsy from you there. Yeah, 3-1, well done. I can hold that, you little bitch. You fucking twat. Remember what we said? You were very wrong the whole time. It's currently... The prophecy.

It's growing out. You need to get it shaven back in, you know. Yeah, fuck it, man. I think you should keep that forever. I'm going to. Imagine if that bit lasts longer than the rest of your hair. That's probably like it.

You should get tramlines in the side. Yeah, that would look badass. And slits in your eyebrows. Get a mullet. You look really, really cool.

Get a mullet. Join me on the skullet. Join me on the skullet. You couldn't join you. I don't think you could. I don't think you could grow longer, Jack. I could do that

I've got a few haircuts left have you seen that Cam Fitz's video of you doing the cameos very accurate cameras like that have you seen it paradox Ollie yeah it's interesting

I don't actually know how to explain these phenomenon. We're going to solve unsolvable... Paradox is unsolvable things from the universe and we will solve them. Yeah, we kind of can try and solve them. No, we will.

Okay, right. Paradoxolly. You can't just do the same theme song for every one. Yeah, I can't. We could go P-A-R-P-A-T-O-T-X-X. Paradoxoli. That's not how he's done it. Oh my God, it's like Batman.

P-A-R-A-D-O-N-E. Oh, in this para, para, paradoxoli. Paradoxoli, para. Oh, shit, I'm in Timbers. Who's that over there? Oh, it's my Paratioli. Paratidoli. Paratioli?

Paratori. Oh, that's who Paratioli is. He actually is a paradox. We should start with Theo. Theo's a paradox. Why, how? What is a paradox? A paradox is something that

is true and untrue at the same time. Oh! Like an oxymoron? No. So it's something that... It's something that uh so like the ship of theseus that would be a paradox we discussed that a long while ago as well yeah is it this is it the same ship if every part is moved and changed over today we're going to start off with a killer question which is called the grandfather paradox oh you're familiar with this one a grandfather is also a father okay guys how do we solve this grandfather paradox. Oh. You familiar with this one? A grandfather is also a father. Okay, guys,

how do we solve this? Grandfather paradox. A time travel scenario where you go back in time before your father's birth. Have sex with your mother. And kill your grandfather. That means you won't be alive.

I won't be alive then. Oh, will I? Because I killed him. But you'll travel back in time. How the hell does that happen? Do you cease to exist? Well, hang on a sec. Also, hang on a second though,

Reeve, because if you're already alive, then you've never travelled back in time. That's why it's a paradox, Theo. Wait, so what are we trying to figure out? Why did we kill him?

You can't actually figure these out, but he decided to create a segment around stuff that is basically impossible. But read, this is the thing, right? So travelling back in time is impossible, so it's all irrelevant. No, it's possible if you travel faster than the speed of light. You can only travel forward in time.

You can travel faster than the speed of light. If we figure that out, then you can go backwards. You can only travel forward in time. There are obviously a couple of discussion points. You can't travel back in time. If we figure out how to go faster than the

speed of light, which currently is, as we understand, impossible, easily could be proven wrong, then you could go back in time. You can't. You can't do that.

That's true. You can't. You're wrong. You have to fly around the earth back in time, mate. Well, that's not really how it would work.

You wouldn't just be Superman. What? Irrelevant. can't do it you can do it the whole point is you have to discuss the paradox

you're like a serious outlander have you killed your grandad would you die but why are you killing him that's the question

so Alcambon would be like you ceased to exist because you would never have been born but you were born so you could kill him so it's the question you go back in time

and you do kill your grandad or you have the choice no no you do. Wait, so is the question you go back in time and you do kill your grandad? Yeah. Or you have the choice? No, no, you do. You do, but how on earth would you exist if that was the case? But Reid, why would you take that risk?

Well, he decided to do the segment. He was Hitler. If you think you get back in time, right? A, why would you kill your grandad? Continue.

And B, would you take the risk of not existing? I think you'd be stupid. Oh, I think that would kill stupid oh I think that would kill you I think it would kill you but you haven't killed him until you kill him the first time

what the fuck does that mean you'd be I don't know remember everything that can happen will happen no that's

no that's just that's what I'm talking about no yeah I'm pretty set on if you go back in time which obviously isn't possible but clearly is

on this, and kill your granddad. But another point... I think you just die instantly. Another way of thinking is... How would we die? Tom's actually right in saying that time travel is obviously inherently impossible, because...

If you go faster than the speed of light, you can't. It creates the paradox itself, doesn't it? But we can all go faster than the speed of light, can't we? We can figure it out. I would actually argue that you wouldn't die, because physically you're still there right but how did you exist that has happened

someone else's sperm both things have happened at the same time that's why it's a paradox it gets it so therefore you won't die you would

no you wouldn't yeah you would you wouldn't die yeah you would would he recognise you he's going to magically just vanish mate it'd be like

it's like night and the fly isn't it your life would you just vanish sorry we're talking about time travelling so I think vanishing can happen

as well I think vanishing is much more stupid actually I think you're being very dumb here because you have physically been

given birth by that person so you are physically alive right so even if you kill your grandad your life has

already happened it's not like you're changing the loop of time would imply that he'd never you would have already killed him yeah exactly it doesn't matter it's irrelevant about the loop no it isn't look because you're back in time it is irrelevant it's like if i went back it's not irrelevant it is irrelevant you will always be alive right you won't disappear but when you return to your time it'll be a completely different world no because you wouldn't be alive

how were you born in your timeline't be alive how were you born Theo in your timeline you were born how were you born in your timeline but we were on about going back we're doing more

universe stuff now when you go back no but that's actually a genuine thing when you go back you can't kill your grandad and then go back to your time

because killing your grandad kills you because then your grandad doesn't have your dad and then your dad doesn't have you that is another

outcome of the discussion. Time and relativity, mate. He continues on. If you go down to a planet, like in Thingy, where every minute is seven years. If you go to a planet where it's so far from Earth

that every minute is seven years, that's still happening, but it's happening at a different relative time. It's all the same. That is not the same at all. His original point was correct though. Yeah, yeah.

We've got a stack of plates. In your original timeline, if you ever returned to it, the butterfly effect would be so different that the timeline would drastically change. But obviously,

if you're still physically existing. You wouldn't exist. No, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, please, no. Let me get this out of the way. Imagine you've got a stack of plates, right? And each plate

is like your universe. So our plate's here. When you time travel back, you're time travelling into your plate, but you kill your granddad, oh, that's fucked, but it's on someone else's plate. When you come back,

you're straight into your normal one. You've just killed a granddad which has went off into another world where that happened. So that universe won't have you, but because you already existed to go back and kill it, you go back to your same one

but then would your grandad still be alive that's what it means but then my grandad would be alive in the other universe so you just kill him and you come back

and he's like how the fuck yeah that's true because like you'll kill him but you would I disagree with that

multiverse is a real theory I don't believe in that the entire point of the question though is unsolvable that's the it is we kind of solved it there it's multiverse

we'd smash their plate, but our plate would be fine. It's not the Avengers. You're not just going to fucking just like dissolve into thin air. Back it up. Let's not have pizza cool. Oh, right.

Oh, but travelling back in time is unbelievable. When's the last time you travelled back in time? That's not what I'm saying. But you're so used to how it works. Will you stop eating? You're actually trying to make

this like a realistic thing when inherently the question is unrealistic. No, it's realistic. We're talking about a hypothetical travel back in time, right? You're pissing me off. If they figured out how it works, okay? Yep.

Laws of physics. Please don't do that because we don't know. Biology still applies. Biology still applies. What? You're not in the whole genre. What do you mean? Biology still applies.

Guys. Guys. Guys. Science. All right? I am actually a scientist. Okay, if I was Stephen Hawking saying this, mate, you'd no. Science. Alright, so, so... I am actually a scientist. Okay, if I was Stephen Hawking saying this, mate, you'd fucking listen, alright? But he wouldn't say it then!

He wouldn't say it, he wouldn't. He's not fucking here. He would say to you, he would say to you, that it's not the Avengers and you think you'd disappear. I didn't say that! It's also not the movie Click where you can go back and forward in time. Thanos isn't real! But you're not just gonna disappear, mate. You're not just gonna movie Click where you can go back and forward in time. You can't do it. Thanos isn't real. But you're not just going to disappear, mate.

You're not just going to evaporate, are you? You're going to a different universe. But you also can't time travel. Do you know you can't evaporate? If you go back and kill someone that produced your... You are still alive in your timeline. Yeah, which would...

The knock-on effect would mean you'd never go back, which means you don't exist. It's happened. Both things can happen. What? This isn't a Schrodinger thing. This is like... It's a different universe. In your life, you have never go back, which means you don't exist. It happens. Both things can happen. What? This isn't a Schrodinger thing. This is like...

It's a different universe. In your life, you have lived your life, okay? Why are you approaching this like this is a doable concept? If you have fucking time, that can happen. But when you go back... What are you on about? It makes sense. You're not making any sense.

I agreed with you, but I don't know what you're talking about now. You're waffling now. If you want to put the stack of plates, then it works. As in like multiple timelines? Yeah, that timeline has no granddad.

Then you go back to your granddad. Yeah, I understand that. But we also don't know that's how time works. It will work. It's a theory. Yeah, but my theory works.

No, you would never know that unless you saw someone who's proven time travel, which would never happen. But we saw the paradox until we can try it out. We haven't solved anything, but you can't solve it. There saw someone who's proven time travel which would never happen but we saw the paradox until we can try it out we haven't solved anything mate you can't solve it

there's only proof of time travel anyways that lad who had rear bumps that lad had rear bumps yeah right so what we should put

on the list of things to do guys we go lizard man uh yeah and then go back in time yeah kill our grandad

I think if we had that Brian Cox on he'd agree with me also my grandad would probably beat me up didn't he just say also if we had that Brian Cox on

he'd agree with me Brian Cox if you're listening please come on he wouldn't he would and he'd say it in a way that you'd listen to him

because you respect him but for some reason you don't like to respect me even though I'm speaking the same fact you said what you've said is one theory of an outcome

no it's the fact what is your point you haven't said a point not a single thing we've said is one theory of an outcome. No, it's the fact. What is your point? Not a single thing we've said can be a fact because there's no ever proof of time travel. Or I'm not disputing your theory or what you think may happen. That may well be right, but obviously we'll never know.

You're talking about fucking evaporating, mate. You're talking about time travel? You're laughing at evaporating. That's a crazy concept, but you can definitely go back 100 years and kill your granddad. You can't even go faster than a single life. The difference is,

it's not even evaporation. It's like you cease to exist. The moment he dies, there's no ever possibility of you existing. What, did you just poop? If you think about it physically, when you're there, say you do it, right?

I'm looking at you. You kill your granddad, right? You're not going to just disappear, are you? But I would never exist. I would never exist to come back in time originally disappear because he's a living breathing thing we think he's just gonna evaporate are you actually being done am i being done yeah you're on about evaporation that's a crazy idea what you're on about that can't happen? Travel back in time 100 years. Yeah, yes.

That's very doable. That's the hypothetical, right? But in the actual scenario, you're talking about the actual physical. Well, nobody knows how it would play out. It's impossible to know. It's such an easy thing to wrap your head around. I don't get it.

You know, I understand what you're saying. It just doesn't make sense. You cannot say, oh, well, I know for a fact if I went back in time, I'd still exist. Yeah. Because you don't know

what the same way a parable, there was nothing then there was the big bang. What are you on about? What are you on about? Things. There was nothing

then there was something. The same way can happen the other way. There was never nothing. No, before the big bang, there was a big bang and then it all shrinks back and bangs again and it repeats. So that could happen with a human? What could happen the other way? There will never be nothing. No, before the Big Bang, there was a Big Bang and then it all shrinks back and bangs again

and it repeats. So that could happen with a human? What could happen with a human? We've already had this argument a million times. What, you think a human's going to go in and out like exploding?

Why not? If we can travel back in time, why can't we evaporate? What the fuck are you talking about? The Big Bang's happened like a thousand times. Which is... I'm on about seizing to exist.

Yeah, physical, yeah. Yeah, so as soon as your grandfather died, in that moment, you just seize, which is I'm on about seizing to exist physical yeah as soon as your grandfather died in that moment you just seize you just be gone you wouldn't

do you think you'd evaporate I don't know we don't know the exact we don't know the point is the point is

the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is

the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is

the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is

the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is

the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is

the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is

the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is

the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is

the point is the point is the point is the point is the point is You're arguing this. You're pretending you don't know because you're scared. It's easier to be naive and scared than you don't know that to actually... What's maddie? Right. We're listening to you and going,

yeah, that's not a bad... But when we go the other way and you're going, no, bollocks, I can't be wrong. That's biology. I know for a fact if I went back in time, it would be different. I would just carry on living. You've watched too many superhero movies, you have.

You stole your theory from Avengers, didn't you? Yeah, you did. I'm not saying that's a stupid theory. The multiverse? No, that's a real... That's from the Avengers, though. I don't know what superhero movies you do, you know. The multiverse, is it just from Avengers, Lewis?

Family Guy as well. Oh, now you're just being silly. It's from lots of stuff. You're acting as if things from Avengers can't be based in reality. So when you can choose... If Thanos is going to click his fingers, he'll just disappear. You can it's from lots of stuff. You're acting as if things from Avengers can't be based in reality. I'm going to bury. So when you can choose... he's going to click his fingers and he'll disappear.

You can choose... We never said that. By the way, you can choose something from the Avengers that's also true, but he chooses something that could be true

also from the Avengers. You're like, it's from the Avengers. Yeah, yeah. A guy is going to rock up, turn into the Hulk. There's such things, scientifically proven,

that we can just like slowly fade away. When we go to a black hole... Yeah, yeah. If you were watching from the outside, we slowly fade away when we go to a black hole yeah if you were if you were watching from the outside we just fade away yeah no it's gravity

doing that and time and space no gravity's not doing that no black hole's gravity yeah but it's like it's the light freezing in time

it's more yeah because gravity is sucking it in why are we talking like we're experts on space I am he just said

physics and biology gravity black hole not biology sucking the light in so what I'm saying is there's scientific basis so it is gravity astrophysics works on space. I am. Well, he just said physics and biology. Lewis, gravity and black holes are sucking the light in. So what I'm saying is there's scientific basis. So it is gravity. Astrophysics.

Come on. Sorry. Sorry, you win. You can't just say things like this but you can go back 100 years in time. It's gravity, mate.

Yeah, biology. What are we talking about? He's not... Right, so we've successfully not solved the paradox. No, I solved it with my plate. The grandfather paradox What are we talking about? He's not Right so We've successfully Not solved the paradox No I solved it With a plate

The grandfather paradox Has been not solved As expected Because that's the entire Point of Both things will happen Both things will happen That's not an answer

They can't both be true then Can they No they can't Because in your world You'll cease to exist But you will physically Still be there So you are just

Basically a Rogue agent Then you're stuck rogue agent rogue agent against time yeah stuck in 1904

Theo versus time yeah that's true going for runs why are you with your little pee brains behind your head yeah it's ours

it's definitely us yeah as expected guys let us know your theories on the Grandfather Paradox. I think we solved that. I think Theo solved that. Yeah, well, he did say biology and physics,

so that's obviously correct. Biology. Man, put me in a room one-on-one with Brian Cox and I'll own him. What? Do you know, I've got something interesting, right? From the Avengers.

That sounded really aggressive. When it comes down to time travel and going backwards, right? Yeah. So imagine time, this is a genuine scientific thing that's really interesting. So imagine time travel and going backwards, right? Yeah. So imagine time, this is a genuine scientific thing, it's really interesting. So imagine time's like this loop, right?

Yeah, yeah. Imagine I have this thing that loops. I have to say it's really interesting to start there. So there's a shape in, there's a shape in when they're making the time machine in Avengers,

which is like a twisted sort of loop. Yeah. And that's like the key to it. Now that actual shape. It's like a helix or something. Yeah, that actual shape. If you put some scissors in it and then cut

all the way around the entirety of it it wouldn't split into two loops which would be two timelines it would be one big loop

like the loop here would just get bigger and thinner and stay connected so that's why that time machine works because it's one timeline

and one loop okay rather than two loops so that means there's scientific basis for time travelling backwards. It's like a Marvel film. Yeah, that's an Avengers.

No, but that's what I'm saying. They based it in science. Yeah, they did actually. That entire segment is, yeah. Yeah. So that shows that it's possible to go back. I'm not even going to pretend

like I know. Robert Downey Jr. is a real person. Yeah, he is a based of science. He is. He is a real person. Yeah, and... And Benedict Cumberbatch can just magically appear in different fires. Different fires? It's not his power.

It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power.

It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power.

It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power.

It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power.

It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power.

It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power. It's not his power.

It's not paradoxes. Surely the paradox is there's unlimited paradoxes. No, but ones that you can actually discuss without just going, uh, what? That doesn't make any sense. Oh, you insult my intelligence.

Uh, you'd have to have intelligence to insult. Booyak a shot. You find it weird that we're just like breathing. Oh, God. Talking about intelligence,

talking about existentialism. I've got something intelligent to tell you here we go the fucking alien right down the street do you want to do the first facts intro

no we're doing we're doing mafia oh I thought we were doing that instead of quiz I got a good fact here I was waiting to tell you you just tell us a fact I'll just tell you a fact

then Lewis has got some bullshit he's going to tell us that was not really he didn't have his heart in that do you think my socks

make you go a little bit like crazy you said that in this every week oh I feel like it's grout like Punxsutawney it's like

I've travelled back in time like Punxsutawney Phil the round dog all the Americans were like amazed that we didn't know who that is who?

Punxsutawney Phil really? I don't know who that Phil the one that we said was a fake story last was a face right I want you to meet us yeah I want to hear

America the headline is ancient science saves world Oh biology or physics astrophysics actually it's biology me to you you she was a lovely is it the chuckle brothers yeah the chuckle

brothers that's what I was gonna say me to you to me so to you you she was a lovely sorry is he talking to Joe is it the chuckle brothers yeah the chuckle brothers that's what I was going to say me to you to me to you so to you you she was a lovely lady to you you she was a lovely lady from China who studied science why are you laughing about

that because he was just doing that what's her name she was studying science her name to you you to science. No, her name. To you, you. To me. To me.

Can I ask a question? What was she studying in science? Science? Just studying science. No, no, it's not the physics or biology, it's the chemistry.

Oh, I'm good. Careful. No, no, I was based on your... Careful. She was just studying the scientists. There's way more than

just those three but yeah this was in like this was in communist China era so it was like it was a time where they were very

they were very controlled like they couldn't do things that threatened the government wait China is still communism though I have no idea but back then it definitely was

I don't know but like back then it was like scientists was like threatening to the government because like, it's an intelligent field, kind of,

so she had to stop. And I think she became like a dinner lady. What is that funny? I just didn't see that happening. From a scientist to a dinner lady. Anyway,

she was just like cracking on with her normal life, never really hit her potential that way. Yeah, they're communists still. Yeah. Thanks for that.

Fucking hell, she is. That's political science. Yeah. Politics. She went back to normal life, but then suddenly, yeah they're communist though yeah thanks for that that's political science yeah politics she went back to normal life but then suddenly to me who's that at the door

it's the chuckle it's fucking Barry Chuckle Barry Chuckle opens the door it's two men black suits white

Barry and Paul black tie well we'd like to bring you on the BBC now I think about it they look like men in black a little bit

it was dick and dick and dom and they say you're coming with us she's like what the fuck get in the car they wouldn't say that we're doing a tour in Skegness

driven for like four hours I like how you know the exact combos that went on I'm just four hours so they haven't gone

so we drive like four hours just like fucking driving into the mountains and that gets to the secret base gets there secret

this is bullshit and she's like shit I'm gonna die then they're like right just like fucking driving into the mountains and that. Gets to the secret base, gets there. Secret base. Oh, this is bullshit. And she's like, shit, I'm going to die. Then they're like, right, we have a secret project and we need you to work on it. Get your knickers off. So essentially, what has plagued mankind and even further, the dinosaurs,

since the start of the world? Weather. No. Chlamydia. On the right lines. Air pollution. Some sort of flu malaria okay now dinosaurs died of this is interesting yeah malaria is actually like been alive since it's been a million years it's actually that's just because mosquitoes are prehistoric as well

yeah and it's just adapted always so like it's all there's evidence of like past humans and past dinosaurs and everything like it being impacted by malaria obviously the dinosaurs didn't say it's malaria malaria they just no they didn't talk at all did they well yeah and there was no humans about to tell either was there so they were trying they were like fucking hell i'm full of malaria yeah dinosaurs didn't actually look like dinosaurs okay they actually had a lot more like fat and loose skin on them okay if you look if you google i don't know i don't even know that no one knows what they really look like there's evidence to say they look more like chickens i'm gonna scoot nobody knows not all dinosaurs look like because all we've got is we painted them yeah but everyone

thinks the skin is really tight on them because all we got is bones right there's actually more evidence to say they look more like chicken he has he has a good point because i can't remember what animal it was when we first found their boards and what we thought they looked like compared to what they do it's like a

crocodile or something yeah they reckon they reckon the t-rex could could have been like a vulture like a massive vulture but no one knows yeah no one knows so what that was

pointless on it well no but they're just made to look really scary aren't they but they might have just looked like massive like i don't know in palumbas or something

they're coming out with a new Jurassic Park yeah new Jurassic Park. Yeah, new Jurassic World. How many more times are they going to do it? Scarlet Jamson,

mate. Ooh. Scarlet Jamson. This time they're going back to the extra, extra dangerous island. Anyways, with

family and children's. Families and children's, sorry. So anyways, we've been hassled by this malaria malarkey for too long.

So what we want you to do is to cure it and she's there she hasn't even got a doctor or anything she's just like did a few years in a science course as a dinner lady she's like right so why would they choose her there's not many people who do science because it's a communist country and they stop everyone from doing it but she hasn't even got like she has has an idea. But there are obviously doctors in China. Very big. Yes.

This is actually very amazing. There are actually some very smart doctors in China. I swear on everything, man. I swear on everything. On everything. So she's leading it and she's like, right, lads,

I'm going to bring us forward but first by looking backwards and she's like, I'm going to go and hunt all these ancient medicine books. Anyone got a time travel machine? So she goes like Indiana Jones mode and like starts looking through all these like,

like going through these old villages and stuff. And looking through ancient books and texts. And in there, she found an ancient book from 400 AD. Whoa. And in there, there was a recipe to tackle a fever. What,

in perfect Mandarin? She's like, fever? She's like, fever? She's like, fever? That's a hallmark of something I called malaria. So there, there was a herb, and in it, there was something called artemisinin. Okay. How is the thing from 2, thousand years ago called the same thing now

no it's in down there as to treat a high fever now we now know that as a big thing for malaria so she thought that this could be are you mental did he just hit pennies but lewis what no my point is right whatever say it's called fucking are No, say they've written down this medicine, it's like, it's called Jeffrey, okay? How the hell does she know what that medicine is? Theo, it said... I don't know how to explain it. It said, if you have a fever in there... Yeah.

Now, she knows that a fever is a hallmark of malaria. Yeah. So she just thought, maybe this is malaria. You don't understand what my point is. I don't think he's understood. What's it called in the, what do you call it? Artemisinin. Theo, the fever is malaria.

That's not what I'm saying. I'm talking about the medicine. I've heard this story far too long and I'll keep going. I feel like he's getting confused. But anyways, we shall plough it out. You don't understand what I'm saying. No, you don't understand what I'm saying. Am I crazy?

Can you tell him? Essentially, she's gone back through an old textbook. She's read that this plant treats high fevers. He didn't say plant. He did. He said herb. He said herb. Oh, my God.

Because you went, oh, it's herb. Yeah. My point is, is it still called that today? Oh, my God. It might be called something different in today's society, but you know which one it is. It's like a cannabis leaf. I haven't said the name of anything. It would make a difference. It might be called something different in today's society, but you know which one it is. It's like a cannabis leaf and it's called like,

and a cannabinoid leaves are. It might be different. Name of what? Name of what? What are you on about? Name of what? The herb. You are so frustratingly dim.

Okay. I'm just going to relax. I'm telling you, if fucking Gary Neville said what I said, mate, you'd all believe me you, fucking Gary Neville said what I said, mate. You don't believe me. Yeah, Gary Neville, the famous fucking

biologist. So anyways, she goes and finds this herb because she grew up around this stuff all the time and she's like, oh, I know that. She recognises the plant.

Yeah, and she goes and gets it. Now the problem is, smoking that herb. The problem is, there was nothing, no one she could test this on. So what she decided to do,

give herself malaria. That's not very smart. Fucking hell. Test it on herself. Why is she, is she dumb? So, her and the other scientists,

they all test it on herself, on themselves. Why are you giving yourself malaria? Because she needs to cure the world. She kills you. Well, not if she's found the cure. No.

No, she found the cure though. She read some ancient book 2,500 years ago saying, yeah, this might work. It's almost like, it's also like cure. No. No, she found the cure, though. She read some ancient book 2,500 years ago saying, yeah, this might work. It's almost like, it's also like putting yourself to the limit

and it like, do you know what? Let's fucking give it a go and it might work. You're on the right thing, yeah. There you go. You don't know, man. Why didn't she test it on rats?

I don't know. But that's... No, you have to do human testing. Yeah, human trials. Yeah, but you've got to start with animal testing. I imagine they might have. Said, skip the rats, just go straight to myself. You're really prolonging this way longer than it needs testing though. Yeah, but you've got to start with animal testing. I imagine they might have. I said,

skip the rats, just go straight to myself. You're really prolonging this way longer than it needs to be. Yeah, yeah. Anyways, all of a sudden, what's happened? She's got malaria.

She grows a cock. No more malaria. No more malaria. She's been smoking herb. She thinks, I might have found a cure. She goes to the government. They roll this out worldwide.

Genuinely. Worldwide? That cannot be true. One human test one oh wait the treatment we have from a man

they obviously rolled it out they rolled it out they rolled it out she got zero credit for it until 1977 when someone

anonymously published her work she then went on to win the Nobel Prize without even having a doctorate is that because in China

they're not allowed to take accreditation I don't know it was a secret project oh okay so she won the Nobel Prize without even having a doctorate. Is that because in China they're not allowed to take accreditation? I don't know. It was a secret project. Oh, okay. She won the Nobel Prize without having a doctorate. She's the first Chinese woman

to win the Nobel Prize. Wow. And she proved that past civilizations may know a little bit more than we think because back in 400 AD,

they had the cure of malaria. And it goes to a bigger question. They wouldn't have known it just to back up Theo's point a little bit. They wouldn't have known what malaria was at that point, but they would have just treated it high fever.

No, that's what it was that they were having, though. Yeah, exactly. So they were curing this with that. They just didn't know it was malaria. So when you think about the great library of Alexandria burning down the pyramids, it shows that... Bad times. In past times, they were pretty...

We have lost civil civilization, man. We have kind of devolved as a species. I think like we'd But you would have thought that she was a fucking idiot looking at these old books

with her own thing on a bit of plastic spinning out of the world. Just the general But we did not have a queue of malaria. And also we have some smart people

in the world. They are some smart fellas. They're great robots and shit. And some smart fellas. And some smart fellas. I thought that was quite shit. And smart fellows. And some smart fellows. I thought that was quite an amazing story.

That was quite an interesting one. Well done. Well done, mate. Never go for that again in your life. Right, anyway, thanks for listening, guys.

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