Back Side - Tom Garratt CALLS OUT Beavo! Theo's Thailand Booze Cruise & Chip Crashes Our Set

Episode Date: January 30, 2025

TheBurntChip invades the set and joins the show, Theo tells all about his Thailand booze cruise, and Toms fan favourite game returns as he tries to bluff his way to victory!If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram, where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. Our bodies are the containers. I risked being different with nothing but love stories that heal share yours together we are unsinkable we are unsinkable.com

your hairline's looking extra strong today nah my hair was looking good. It was looking thick. Boldy Boldy, come in here. I'm a YouTuber, actually. Yeah, that was mad. You almost died. No. Okay, well, um. Deja vu is real, which means time travel is real. It's the time traveler. That is horrendous. Are you going to address being late today? What were you like when you were in the office? Just busy, man. Yeah, too busy taking your Zempic, weren't you, Lou?

I know your little cheat code. Oh, here we go. Is that the fat one? Is that what we just about to stand on? What are steroids? What are the steroids? What are the steroids? What are they? I realised, I thought,

and I came back this morning, I was like, now I've lost weight. I feel slim. Your face does look slimmer. Yeah, I gained two and a half kg. But I thought to myself, I lost muscle,

but gained fat. Right. I was also wearing all my clothes, so I'm thinking maybe my clothes lost muscle, but gained fat. Right. I was also wearing all my clothes, so I'm thinking maybe my clothes weigh 2.5kg. So I'm going to jump on the Zenpix train as well. Maybe it's your cock. My cock has got bigger. I don't think you on a Zenpix is a good idea because you are... Oh, shit. Guys, we're just going to get rid of our Evian label on our water bottle right now

because you won't be able to tell that this is an Evian water bottle. Oh, you need to take your jump off then. It's branded, mate. Guys, Lewis is in a really, really, really grumpy mood. You were late, so you had to take... I'm a bit stressed. He's had three pints, so he's going to do me head in for the next dollar.

I told you, didn't I? Have you actually? Yeah. It's just going to be... You are not completely fine. You were late, by the way, so that means you have to do this in your boxes. I bumped into Tom downstairs,

and I said Hitler would be very angry at him yeah that's not a good nickname to have you know you need to start changing your ways it's given by him though it's not going to be

a nice nickname in the context that he gives me it's actually a nice nickname is it? that sounds all too wrong the worst human

of all time who is the worst human of all time? Hitler or Lewis is 100% out of Hitler what about Genghis Khan? nah

he calls me Hitler because I'm on my shit you know who is the Cambodian Lewis is 100% out of Hitler what about Genghis Khan nah I don't know he calls me Hitler because I'm on my shit you know you were late today who was the Cambodian money maker when Lewis is late

it's because he's on his shit you know Cambodia had the mass genocide who was that what the fuck starting this podcast off heavy aren't we I'd argue

I think Hitler has actually been voted as the worst of all time he was is that not recency bias who was voted Hitler was he recency bias

that would be recency bias like throughout all the thousand years look I bet there was a caveman out there who was a proper dickhead yeah but that's part of

the game how would you kill 6 million people he might have killed the equivalent what's the equivalent so like the weapons what's the equivalent

to 6 million the weapons the weapons at his Libby? What's the equivalent to six million? The weapons at his disposal at a caveman. The ratio to amount possibly to be killed to he killed. Paul Potts. Potts, right. It's Rick Waller. No, no, legit, it's Paul Potts. It's Rick Waller.

Yeah, no, but we had this conversation before and someone said he was blind. No, no, not Paul Potts the singer. No, I know, Paul Potts. Paul Potts, the Prime Minister know Pol Pot Pol Pot's the Prime Minister of Cambodia Pol Pot's the one

Britain's got talent no not that one Pol Pot P-O-L-P-O fucking hell man P-O-L P-O-L like Pol Pot

holy shit nah nah nah he's not no P-O-L are you are you mental you are perfect for this podcast

by the way that's always panic swear when you sometimes type it fuck me man Are you mental? You are perfect for this podcast, by the way. That's always Alex Swin. Fuck me, man. The former general secretary of the Communist Party of Cambodia. It's Pol Pot. Yeah, that's what I was saying. Was he the worst person ever?

It's not. Theo just thinks he is. He's up there. He's definitely in contention. He was the prime minister that ordered the mass genocide of nearly 25% of Cambodia's population. It's definitely Hitler. I'm up there. He tried to wipe out an entire race of people.

Yeah, that is pretty bad as well. A lot of dickheads behind it. Bowdoin's up there, though, isn't he? Lewis could be, yeah. I mean, if he goes for a re-vote, you could be close. He's stressed and we have to do a brand deal. No, just in general. You got new shoes. You're up there, Lou, babe.

You seem awfully stressed. What's up? I'm just cooking man you know one of the major side effects of a Zen pic is stress what

it does what Zen pic do and hair loss does that make you like lose weight you know exactly what a Zen pic is I don't know which one of Zen people

have had it on this podcast does that make you lose weight it's an appetite suppressor what the hell is that I don't know what it is an appetite suppressor means you eat less

yeah so you're obviously doing 75 50 hard what is that all about talk to us babe 75 5am I'm just getting up 75 5am 35 yeah Pressing means you eat less. Yeah, so you're obviously doing 75-50 hard. What is that all about? Talk to us, babe. 75-5am. I'm just getting up. 75-5am. Okay, nice.

35-5am. Just getting up early and that, you know what I mean? But then at this time, you do crash a lot. I was going to say, you look knackered, mate, and it's like 2 in the afternoon. You're on YouTube now, aren't you? Yeah. Wait, you're so tired.

Have you been up since 2am? So have you. Have you been up since 2am? No, yeah, I've not uploaded. 5. Oh, I've been up since 2. You've been up since 3. 2. I have a message on my phone saying you got up at 3 yeah I've not uploaded 5 I've been up since 2 you've been up since 3 2

I have a message on my phone saying you got up at 3 from you 2am no he did no no we know he was up at 2 because he put

Graham and Birch in at 2 yeah no but that way he lied can he prove that anywho I don't know Theo it's been a while not for those who are

watching this but Theo's actually been on a 5 week holiday why are we beating around the bush here babe what we asked you about your 5am grind rise and grind it's been a while. Not for those who are watching this, but Theo's actually been on a five-week holiday. Why are we beating around the bush here, babe? What? We asked you about your 5 a.m. grind, rise and grind,

and you're stressing about that. It's grind season, man. 2025's the year of grind. So Lewis is now a YouTuber, same as you? Well... Tomah still hasn't uploaded. I haven't uploaded yet.

Well, when this is out, I will have, but... Can I ask a question? I'm also a criminal. Why are the cameras so far away? Yeah, I literally just saw that. It's just how they go. If we want to get the proper angles, they're zoomed in.

Is it because you've been getting stick on me? Yeah, any closer you can see the... Yeah, why is that camera so far away over there? Any closer you can see the gaps in his hair. Lewis cam. Lewis cam. Cut to Lewis cam. Whoa!

That looks kind of good, Lou. Your hairline's like an extra strong today. Nah. Do you know what I did? I went to get my hair cut the other day right and I was like short back and sides top

no you didn't say that that's not what you said no I said short back sides top no we've already established we went over this the other day

short back and sides that's the same thing no it's not the same thing I said gonna get short back and sides and he did the back and sides and then he got

but isn't that we were arguing this a short back and sides isn And he did the back and sides. And then he got... Well, isn't that... We were arguing this. A top back and sides, isn't that just a haircut? Who asks, can you do my top back and sides? Yeah, can you cut all of my hair?

He didn't specify how short or what he wanted. He just goes... What did you get, like, 0.5 fade? Top back and sides. I just say a fade, back and sides, please. Do you not say 0.5, 1, 1.5, 2? I just say skin it.

No. Skin, fade. I go 0.5 fade please a bit higher this time we were a bit lower a bit higher no i'm trying to grow it out so you know what i'm gonna do the decent thing yeah don't go there can i beat can i have that one on on on solomon kaloo's life right are you saying that because you're wearing solomon shoes probably subconsciously yeah yeah when i was in thailand in the evenings after i'd like taking my saying that because you wear Solomon shoes? Probably subconsciously. Yeah. Yeah When I was in Thailand in the evenings off taking my hair off Because you have to take a hair off. I keep my hat on during the day because I don't want to burn my head

What would you burn your head? I've got very fair hair Is it because it's fair? And there's a few gaps in it My hair was looking good. It was looking thick I started putting this oil on it. Is that your now not right now okay you're fine back in the uk series it's adapting again i've just remember this is a little bit hot hair look looks good that's looking thick as fuck mate you've got too much hair mate you look like um aquaman jason what's his name? Jason Statham. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's oil

and I think it's working. Well, I know how you feel now because the barber, after he did the back and sides, he got over to the top bit and he was like, no. Well, hang on. You've asked for a top

back and sides and he's gone in the reverse order. Yeah, because he used to do the top. Yeah, he's like, no. You should leave that, Paul. I was like, oh God, no.

Jesus. He did like three snips and stopped and he said like nah we should leave that pal I was like oh god no Jesus he did like three snips and stopped and he said nah mate no I don't think he wanted his name attached to how bald I'd look I thought like

your hair is looking extra shit recently it is really shit do you know why because he won't my barber won't cut my hair because he doesn't want to be associated

with it I'm convinced I'm convinced you just keep the buzz cut as a permanent selection I will admit when we was upstairs

just and I was obviously in my vlog era and I was getting I come to you to annoy you and get some clips and I went above you

to your head it looked bad so bad that's what he saw and he was like he doesn't want to cut it anymore

so it made me realise I've actually because your front bit is like hair and then you're getting a Zidane, mate.

Yeah, the crown. So I only have limited haircuts left is what I've realised in my life. How many haircuts? That would apply to everyone. I think I've probably

just got four left. I think the best thing to do... Nah, mate, trust me, you can keep going. Four trim. Four left? You can go forever, mate. No, this is genuine

because this isn't a funny thing. You know what he's going through. I think the best form of action is end it all. With the hair? No, it's true. I reckon we have a a vote whoever's got a better hairline between you and freezy um well this is no this thing carl carl carl said years ago and joked about like a fellow's trip to turkey to get his hair done yeah when i first started and i've been holding on for that it's three years now he still hasn't fucking done the trip and then there's not much longer i can wear and by the way there's not much longer he can wear and by the way there's not much longer

he can wear either he's wearing hats every day he even wore a hat in the box the other day did he really yeah he had to take it off

in the pub yeah he didn't like a picky blinder no no like a normal a cap a cap

with his suit well he didn't wear a suit he wasn't best dressed to be honest I'm not going to lie be honest he was best dressed sorry after you

after Guy Fawkes I think it was me I'd have to say Liam he came as Will from Inbetweeners why have you been a knob I haven't been a knob why can't you just admit

I had a really nice suit on it was a fucking expensive suit that was a waste of money you know you could have got I could have got I could have got you pardon

Lewis bought his for two shillings in for a human skull yeah you know there's I trade you for a human skull

I could have got a tailored suit like well cheap in Thailand that's like a thing out there yeah you just get that yeah Will remember when Will did

his billionaire video he went to the Vietnam place is it good though or no yeah banging why don't you do it Thailand. There's like a thing out there. Yeah. You just get yeah. Well, when we'll did it on the video he went to the good though. No, why don't you do it? I didn't remember my suitcase for a

suit. Oh, they are quite heavy. They are pretty heavy. Yeah. No, but yeah, joking aside,

um, chip look good as well. Actually, chip. He looks like he's wore that suit before. He is very nice.

He looked like he owned a horse. Oh, I think you look very nice. He looked like he owned a horse. Oh, shit. I never replied. Lewis looked like he owned something else back in the day, if I'm honest. Yeah. It looks like I've been punching walls. That might have been the people trying to escape you.

It's from me riding the horse. We went to the Rizzo's. That was hilarious. I need you to come with me. Maybe we'll turn it into a backside vlog. We're going to meet my horse. I never replied to them, but I'm going to do it, I'm going to reply to them oh I could help you with that it's actually named after you

are you sure, have you spoke to them yeah, we spoke to the horse and the horse went name the BHA wouldn't know that though the BHA wouldn't know it was named after you specifically but they wanted me to go meet my horse.

They said, do you want to meet your horse? Yeah, that'd be sick. Do that. I'll definitely come with you. Would you ride him? No, don't. Don't do backside.

I'll vlog it. No, I'll vlog it. I'm a vlogger now. Walk us through your, come on then, you're a YouTuber now. Is this 2025? Just so you know,

I tried Googling your name on YouTube and it didn't come up with your channel. Yeah, it comes up with loads of pitch size stuff, doesn't it? Oh, really? And podcasts. Well, you've been on every podcast in the world. Are you Thomas Garrett or Tom Garrett?

I don't know. You should call it TG Vlogs. I think it's Tom Garrett 10, I think. Can you check? Fucking virgin. Should I try and just T Garrett Vlogs? That's worse than the Reeve HD. No, I wanted it just to be Tom Garrett, but that was taken.

YouTube.com slash TheoBasic. Yeah, search me in, lad. Actually, you're still... Typing TomGarrett10. Why is your watch history off? Is yours still not... It's on the backside. There I am.

Is it not? Oh, look at you go. Let's see if you've got latest any videos. Click on videos to see what you're working with here. Oh, yeah.

Let's have a look. Oh, there's me. Oh, there's me. Oh, there's me. There's me again. There's me. You look so much better with the buzz cut, you know.

That's me again. No, tell you what, the views were alright though. Yeah, for a joint channel. I looked after Lewis, don't worry. And he uses me for all his

TikTok thumbnails his TikTok is a disgrace unless I'm in it and you know that's true he used to use me so much

I still do the other day I just jumped on and just said the humble of Tom Garrow just got 120k and then just have the board

for like another team so it's his very but hold that so you're a vlogger now yeah I'm steering away

from this but I've got a few good ideas all eight football videos I've got no I had loads before Hold up. So you're a vlogger now? Yeah, I'm steering away from this. I've got a few good ideas. Eight football videos? No, I had loads before, but I deleted them all because of shit. Okay, fair enough. And then I have got a few good collaborations lined up. Oh, come on. Drinking vlogs.

No, it's going to be mainly like... Drinking vlogs. Still football, but yes, obviously drinking. Yes, obviously. Meal deals. Yeah, maybe. I'll tell you what. We'll see you get some more views. Still football But yes obviously drinking Yes obviously Writing meal deals Yeah maybe I tell you what We'll see you get some

We'll see you get some reviews Me getting pissed Writing meal deals Or you spending Three months Waking up at 5am Yeah That's a huge time investment

To get a thousand views I'm doing it to you That's so worthy For 7k views It's not about the views Tom It's about the Enjoyment Are you kicking down

Yeah I am You should kick up Not down Keep going Lewis Fuck you You bald twat It's not about the views tom it's about the uh enjoyment you're kicking down yeah i am you should kick up not down keep going lewis i don't fuck you you bald twat it's not about the views it's about the happiness on the journey but you're miserable you're not happy you're doing it every day you're doing it to escape the job you hate no i just miss anything by the way viewers just so you're aware it's all fake he actually woke up at 7am on one day after the Cheltenham

Raiders oh my god yeah you lied you sit on a throne you know my alarm didn't go off I genuinely meant to get off you know you're going to

cut this out my alarm didn't go off you passing blame you know it counts like 29 days it counts like 75 hard so you have to do all 30 in a row again

you have to restart I can fucking hold that, man. I mean, do you know what I've just learned about here? You need, and for you, like, back home.

For you back home, listen up, right? Notice, when you're with your friends, you should notice which ones lift you up and which ones put you down. Oh my God, he's got a copy in there.

I'm out here trying to improve in 2025. I'm on mindset grind set and use two, use three, are threatened and therefore putting me down rather than raising me up. I gave you advice on your latest video.

This is prime Lewis gaslighting bullshit. It is, you know. By the way, he started this. You were politely asking me what I want to do with the channel. He tries to make little digs. And then when you go back at him, it's, what, you're raising me up? And then that'll be flipped that i'm the bad guy for laughing at

him helping you with it also you are alive to put your camera in the cares oh my god so this right yeah you did help me that this when we when i was filming stuff after the races the other day i i was working it fine and i was and we were all pissed I'll give it to Lewis Lewis is fucking it up not recording properly he's like oh it's just settings it's just settings it's fucked up

it's weren't the settings you're an idiot he said he was recording fine he handed me the camera I was like this whole time I said this whole time

we've been talking Tom it hasn't been recorded he's been on a 10 minute rampage with the camera playing games funny you say that that was two times you actually recorded nothing

oh see that we recorded a clip outside really funny I saw the camera I was like went to character

he was doing it we were like yeah and I said oh by the way it's not recorded you're giving it the big

I was doing it fine literally right after I said to him Hitler's gonna be angry because you're drunk he said I, I was doing it fine. Literally. And it was right after I said to him, Hitler's going to be angry because you're drunk. He said, I'm not drunk. I'm not drunk. No,

I know you're not. It was funny because you weren't good. Are you filming like a drunk blog? No, no. He is right now. No, I'll tell you what it was.

I was in here eating and I noticed Lewis's, did you see Lewis's tweet today? Yeah, I did see it. Yeah, yeah. I tweeted, so David Coot has come out as a homosexual cokehead.

Relatable. Hashtag respect. He's kept it up though, right? Yeah. He's trying to get fired, that's why. So then he comes storming in, being like, oh, yeah. Obviously, he was joking,

but then he was like, why don't you just go out and record some bits? I was like, all right, then I'll go to the pub. I was like, okay, then I'll go to the pub and that's how I got on board I was like I was like okay then I'll go to the pub have a bit on the racing

and see what happens I support you there and then it's turned out I've just had three points had a lovely time on my own because I don't like and you only paid

£5 a pint and yes it cost me £15 for the pint and I've won £1100 so technically you say I don't support you did you film that bit on camera yeah all of it

you don't support you say I don't support you what I've done is made you win off £1100 so technically you say I don't support you did you film that bit on camera yeah all of it you don't support you say I don't support you what I've done is made you win off £1100 and get some content a lot has happened since you've been gone

Bevo became a porn star Kelly Clarkson you seen that whilst you were in Thailand you seen Bevo's cock why do you do you want to I'm trying to scrap him

wait hang on a sec didn't he you want wait hang on a sec was that real good cock though was that real did he actually bum Luke Bennett you know if he... You want? Wait, hang on a sec. Was that real? Good cock though. Yeah, real.

Did he actually bum Luke Bennett? You know if he did... No. If he did ask you to shoot a duo video with him, would you? Yeah. Just to get the fight. Here we go. Would you... If I lose...

No, would you let Bevo suck you off to get the fight on this video? No. Hang on. Why did you giggle? Why did you nod as you said no? Yeah. Body language is saying the opposite of that

no of course not but are you okay surely he's got sucked Bevo off no no that wasn't the question I asked him

no but he's just receiving pleasure but yeah but it's from Bevo but Bevo might not want to do that and you know

he's like he could swallow his cock you know he's like swallowing he did it with Luke Bennett he didn't he might have they didn't

do you know what even if they didn't do it getting on a bed in your boxers and crawling to bed with Luke Bennett. What's wrong with that? It's just weird doing it. It's fucking weird. It's really fucking weird.

It's just weird doing that. Like, if I see him doing that, why are you posting that on Twitter? I think it sums him up. I think it sums him up how desperate he is for attention and just get a job, bro. Like, no one wants to watch you swallow potatoes.

You've got no personality. to watch you swallow potatoes you're you've got no you've got no personality you've got nothing about you you've you you can't offer anything to to the youtube or tiktok or social media world or space so now you're resorting to selling yourself online with your fucking four inch cock get a job i find it really funny how uh people are going or fight lewis stop using that word Or fight Lewis instead of being a bitch and pretending to suck Luke Bennett's cock. I do find it really... I find it a bit fascinating watching someone

how you have this big rise and then they simply cannot deal with not having... It wasn't a big rise. No, no, but even whatever rise it was and then not being able to deal with not having that anymore and having no backup plan. And now, like, this is what you resort to to hold on to

what you can't it's weird isn't it a distinct lack of self-awareness and brains to not realise swallowing potatoes on TikTok

the only reason you're getting views is people are laughing at you and obviously he bought into that and went along with it basically

and played up to it how long will that last people just laughing at you swallowing potatoes you're an idiot that's why you're now selling your into that and went along with it basically and played up to it. How long will that last? People just laughing at you swallowing potato. You're an idiot. That's why you're now selling your tiny cock online. It's embarrassing.

How much money do you think you'd make on OnlyFans? Probably a lot. I get people on my fucking cameo a lot asking me to do their fucking weird. Should he do it?

Wait, hang on a second. That was a thing that happened, didn't it? What? It was winning between you two on cameo. It was embarrassing. He won on cameo Oh it was embarrassing But

He won obviously How many cameos you done I think I made like I think I did like 88 or something Shit You stopped it Well

After Christmas I just stopped promoting it And I took it out On my bio I don't care now Oh what But If people want a cameo

They can go and find it Can't they But Really simply It's for like For events isn't it people aren't just going to get a random

I didn't get that many happy birthday no it was Christmas and New Year all them are you two doing them still I don't want to get any through

fuck them I did one the other day for Thursday but like well you went to Thailand you got anything that went on I had a lot of massages

oh alright there's Rife out there actually massages yeah Rife was out there There's rife out there, actually. Massages? Yeah. No,

you just get like foot and calf all the time. Yeah. And you're beating all that. Foot, calf, arms. I did have a major massage toward the end of the trip.

It was like full body, like major deep tissue. That really hurt. My back was really bruised after it. But they do just like brush your... Did they? Did you get excited?

No. Do you think they were testing... I definitely didn't. Do you think they were didn't do you think they were testing the waters to see if you were like well no it's like grandma

so so more experience I think it's just I think that's just like it was very did you fuck any of them no

did you fuck your missus over there no what did you have sex with your missus over there obviously not that was so weird

why would I do that I agree well done I did meet someone called Nana, though. She was lovely. Nana, Nana. She took care of me. Did you take your grandma on holiday? No, Nana.

She basically owned the joint. Nana, Nai? Oh, was it Rihanna's songwriter? What? Oh, Nana. Jesus. Oh, Dappy's the minute. I think you need to have five minutes like that.

Nana, Nai. She looked after me. She was like really like rubbing my legs and stuff. And like she knew it's just like you've heard your hip somewhere, haven't you? Oh, she's like a spiritual man. She could feel all my injuries through my feet. Oh, my God. Yeah.

And she was like going in. I'm actually massaging your astral projection. Yeah. And then I started screaming because she was really hurting me and everyone started laughing in the massage parlor. And then she was like, you come back tomorrow for a full body. And if you're not here before six,

tell them to call Nana. PM, she comes out at 6pm. You could have made that. She's working late. It's true. And I didn't come in the next day. I was too scared. But she...

She offered you a free massage and you bought it. No, not a free one. I had to pay for it still. Oh. But she was like, if you come in before six, get them to call me up and I'll come in for you.

Are you sure she wasn't trying? No, she was legit. She was unreal. Nana looked after me. She was like, oh, you poor thing. You've had so many injuries. She was like,

look at all the scars all over your legs. I was like, yeah. Like a sugar mom. You were loving all the attention. You're so brave. You're so brave, Theo. You're so brave. You're so brave, Theo. You're so strong.

I am a brave boy, Nana. That was good fun. Good laugh. Good vibe. Good vibe. Did he take you back to childhood calling her Nana and that? And then did you go,

I wonder where the sock is? That's a joke carried over from last one. Keep up, Theo. Come on. I know you haven't been here for four weeks. Oh, was it a fake story? I wonder where the old lady is. Oh, I thought you were referring to like a wanking sock.

Why would I be referring to that? Why would I be referring to that? Because I just seem to be wanking socks. Just cross episodes. Why would I be wanking a sock? There was like a lot. It's a shithole, though. Like, Patong in Phuket is worse than Magaluf. I didn didn't realize that there's nothing wrong with magaluf what do you mean it is

fucking mental oh like a party party yeah i thought it was not going to be like that did you party out there oh i partied y'all like fishbowl with the germans did they did they make germans yeah are there people on this on this trip people on the strip that like come in here fishbow balls or not Everywhere Oh really There are so many Ladyboys in Phuket

It's crazy I'm talking Everything out They're the ones That are promoters For the club Yeah When you say everything out

They're just like Hey come in Okay imagine So imagine this strip In Patong I think it's Patong Or Ao Nang No it's Patong

In Phuket I think it's Patong It's like a strip Have you heard of Kohan road in bangkok that's mental no never heard music so loud in my life but nothing compared to this road in phuket honestly all the bars yeah strip pole poles the poles women or ladyboys everywhere polish strippers no but there was just tits, cocks, the lot, everywhere. I've never seen anything like it. We walked straight through and heads down straight through. Oh, yeah.

It was disgusting. It was disgusting. Did you get recognised a lot out there? Yeah, loads. I thought you might have. Yeah, quite a lot. It was sound, though. By what?

A lot of Brits, was it? Brits, Australians. Oh, of course. It's not that far. Is it Frosy? Yeah, it's not that far. Is he a Frozzy? Yeah, he's not that far from Australia. Oh,

good day mates. Good day. Good day. Good day. Did you do any accents with them? Or were you too embarrassed? Good day. Good day.

Oh yeah, they're like, what's up mate? And I go, good day. Good day. Well, those are all your like,

brothers and sisters speaking English there. Yeah. Huh? Those are all your bros and sisters now after your trip out to Australia. I'm actually half Australian now yeah you're half

Australian it was very cool I preferred the quiet island are you half Thailand now as well oh the beach you

went to was unbelievable have you seen the beach the film with Leonardo DiCaprio no it was that beach I never watched it

I watched it on plane home mate the sea is like just for the beach mate no have you not seen it

no I've seen the picture I'm just laughing at him watching the stupid film no it was a tiktok so you didn't see it yeah you didn't see it oh no it's beautiful oh my god that is my idea of like power just that in a few you know you're not allowed to you're not allowed to swim in that sea what what they banned it they banned it because of that film because of that

film uh before covid you could and then they banned it because the sea was getting so polluted through sun cream and all the sharks were dying and coral was dying

it was that bad they had to stop so now you couldn't go in it then mate there's people patrolling the beach with like loud sirens and stuff

then if you go too deep they come and go get out the water you can't go in it you just can't swim in it you can go up to your what's the fucking point about it? I find that hard to believe.

You can pollute the sea just from sun. It was that busy. It was that, mate. Honestly, when you, I've got to show you the video. When you arrive there, it's like you're in like some like camp. It's mental. There's someone going, follow. Don't you get any ideas?

Follow. It is, I've never experienced anything like it. And the people are like, fatty at the end of the sand get out the water Oh to you They call people like chubby in that like chubby woman get out. Oh, what did they call you? YouTubers doing a chubby bunny challenge It was honestly kind of crazy wait, so that's how they invite people into the clubs as well? Yeah.

Hey, you! Chubby boy! Fish ball, fish ball, chubby boy! Hey, guys. Baldi, Baldi, come in here. I'm a YouTuber, actually. They're not from Jamaica, mate. Baleag, no? What else do you do out there? Wait, wait, wait.

He, um... I didn't fart. I'm wait, wait. He, um... I'll wear a wig. I didn't fart. I'm trying to show you this, like, um... He did. I didn't. He talked to the elephants. You've not seen that?

There it is. Look how mental it is. That is pretty cool. And so, what they... That's like a big afro. Wait, is that... Did Jodie take her bikini bottoms off? It looks like Avatar.

Mate, so you're... When you're there, right, you see these taxis. These are your sea taxis. And they just drop you off then they just drive away do they have sea ice fuck off

you can't get back nah so the only way to get back on your sea taxi they wait just offshore and you've got to take a photo of your sea taxi show it to the guard

and they like try and call him in and hope for the best oh my god so you're stranded if you can't get it back yeah and then you could swim

the sirens are like no swimming the sirens are like you keep moving! Stingle fire! Stingle fire! Yeah, that's what we're calling a podcast with, Lewis. Now the blacktip reef sharks population are growing.

Wow. Wow. That is what people tune in for. If you don't believe me... Are you an activist? No, no, no, no. No, I believe you. I believe you.

I can tell your experience with the Asian elephants. How did that go? How did you feel about endorsing animal cruelty? Yeah, that's pretty bad from you. No, I wouldn't say that. Elephant sanctuary.

They're treated like shit, mate. No, these were like lovely. The rangers were like... You show me a photo of an elephant crying, mate. Their eyes watered because of the sand. Oh, yeah, because of the pain.

No, the sand and the flies. No, it's the pain. No, the sand and the flies. No, it's the pain. It wasn't a very big elephant. He was quite small. Asian elephants are smaller. Asian elephants are smaller than African elephants, also have a shorter lifespan, and the main difference is an African elephant is like an egg,

like a round head, whereas an Asian elephant is more like that. It's like a dimple. And the ear size is crazy. Oh, my God, do you know about elephants as well? Well, I did the other birthday night. I did the's a bit that's quite ironic isn't it bald head no with bald eagle like the differences between the two oh i see what he's doing there what was this about your no because asians are traditionally a smaller smaller people aren't they yeah i hit

my head a lot and africans tend to be larger people Yeah I hit my head a lot Ah Well the average height in Asia is a lot smaller Yeah I just forgot that like they'd have smaller doors No no no

not like that it's just like for example like on the resort we were staying on PP Islands like Pardon?

The Where's that? The PP Islands Hit my head quite a few times Yeah Why would they build them any taller? You don't need it

No it makes sense it's not like the Shire or anything like that it's just like only certain things is it like the Teletubby house no it's not just certain things

that you 7-Eleven was sick 7-Eleven everyone goes on about that in Thailand banging ham and cheese toasties what does that mean

you've been to a 7-Eleven you know what a 7-Eleven is oh I thought you were referencing carry on it wasn't a natural disaster well it wasn't a disaster no yeah it's ham you've been to a 7-Eleven you know where 7-Eleven is oh I thought you were referencing carry on it wasn't a natural disaster well it wasn't a disaster no yeah it's ham and cheese toasties

chocolate lava cakes the chocolate protein shakes yeah it's like convenience store like Mentos really what the bakery like a little bakery

no better is that where they do the double chug chocolate cookie no that's in America what the fuck there is 7-Eleven in America actually went to a place called Reeve we saw the first spelled correctly as well Bubble chug chocolate cookie. Now that's in America. What the fuck? There is 7-Eleven in America.

Went to a place called Reeve. We saw the photo. Spelled correctly as well. Yeah, it was spelled correctly. Bumped into Con there. Who? Con. You know, Constantine.

Con Films. Oh, he was there. Yeah, bumped into him. Filmed your vlog, didn't he? Bit random, innit? And crabby. What was he doing? Just vibing.

He's chilling inside. What was this ladyboy cruise you said you went on? I booked a a lovely dinner that's the one thing i did we only had one day in bangkok and i'd love to do a bit more bangkok you know oh really is that why just because there's way more to do and you couldn't no there isn't a lot to do in bangkok but i would like to spend two days not one but we did like this river cruise nailed it by the way i booked that big brownie points on the front of the boat we had like a river cruise going up and down like a private river no no no busy one um and then they had like entertainment obviously the entertainment was like uh singing songs and it was like don't tell me you did karaoke these lady

but no i almost did i did actually no i did actually sing a song not at that night but another night so you did you do angels no i had to sing a part of ABBA. The lady was singing and she was coming around to different tables and they just put the mic on me and I was like, that's it! I just knew this was my moment.

What's more embarrassing, the mic coming up to you and not singing because I'm too embarrassed or fucking belting it? I'd have gone... If you're listening to this, I don't know how to describe it anyway but then all right so this

photo right you'll see it in my vlog when it comes out but i'm waiting there's look so downstairs the whole floor occupied by these chinese tourists was obviously a big group and like their teachers were there and the teachers like we'll go get a photo with them so you can go get a photo once they performed and they were all rinsed, all getting the teachers. And then the teachers were like getting like the hand put on their boobs and stuff. And like, it was all kicking off.

Yeah. Male teachers were getting the boobs in the face and whatnot. And obviously all the people on the trip were like, Oh, teacher. Yeah. Really funny. Really.

Yeah. And then I just jumped in, put the hands on the boobs. No, just got a normal photo. And they were like, they loved it. Then they, then they turned to me and put the huns on the boobs. No, just got a normal photo. And they were like, boo. No, they loved it. Oh, okay.

Then they turned to me and go, yeah, a hundred baht. Is that expensive? No, that's like two quid. Oh, okay. But it's still the principle of being like. I had to tip for a photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas everyone else didn't have to tip.

So I gave them a hundred baht. I said, sorry, that's all I got. Huh. I actually had a thousand in the other pocket. But they were nice they were cool got the photo got the vlog got the t-shirt wouldn't really read you know how it is what happened in gutwick oh this morning that's kind of crazy crazy yeah that was mad you almost die no okay well um as we go as we like go up to the jetty um they were like, all males will have to show their passport

when they get off. It's like emergency services. We're like, oh shit, someone's had a heart attack. And then they, well, they first said the emergency services, then they said the mail thing. All males have to show their passports

when they get off. But that could be a police issue, not an ambulance. Well, they open the doors, 15 police officers are waiting. Yeah. No word of a lie, 15. Yeah, I had that on the flight.

They heard about what you did, didn't they? Well, instantly I'm thinking, shit, they found out. What? We can't say, can we? Yeah, you can't say. Did you see who they pulled away then? Well, I then hear a bit of commotion going on. And the stewardesses are blocking one of the entrances.

And I saw this bloke go past. And then they started saying, oh, he's filming now. He's filming. And the stewardesses were like blocking one of the entrances and I saw this bloke go past and then they started saying, oh, he's filming now, he's filming. And the stewardesses were like, let him film. Fucking let him film. Oh, you probably didn't hear what happened in first class, did you?

What happened in economy? Well, obviously I'd been asleep, yeah. So I had no idea. Okay. Oh, did, what about the, so you were in first class? No, I was in business class. Okay, you were in business class.

Where was the family? Not on the flight. We had to fly home a day early. They were in the ship. Again. Me and Jodie flew her home. He's put them in the ship again. Not Australia, no Thailand. Your mum and dad have only just got back from Australia.

They finally, they are so good to see. Fucking, I'm going to say. Screw it back on the Thailand. You need some morals in your life. My mum and dad didn't come on the trip. We know. We're on about your mum and dad have only just got back from Australia on the ship you put them on.

And now Jodie's parents and family, they might be back by Christmas next year now. No, no, we had to book a flight a day early so we could be back for this show. Don't believe you. Yeah, they're still actually on the plane right now. The ship or the plane? Well, the longboat actually. Yeah, from Thailand. It could be a longboat. The ship or the plane? Well, the longboat, actually. Yeah, from Thailand.

That'd be a longboat. Not what we mean. We don't want to laugh. And let him film. So I reckon it's all kicked off. Either it's all kicked off on the flight. Yeah. And they've called the police from the plane.

Yeah, definitely. Or something's happened in Thailand. It's most wanted. 15 officers. That's a lot. It must be Thailand. Otherwise, they wouldn't need a passport. I think that's on the plane. Something's happened. But they would know which one it is. They wouldn't need to identify with a passport. That's a lot of must be Thailand otherwise they wouldn't need a passport I think that's on the play something's happening

but they would know which one it is they wouldn't need to identify with passport and they had guns fucking hell guns a bit I showed them my passport

they're like yeah calm did they let you off of your guns no no they stopped me then one of the police officers went and I went

sir he went sir that's the weirdest thing you ever said the thing about the thing was like shall we shall we do the best segment of the pod now that's my two and a half weeks in thailand guys yeah yeah i mean there's nothing else that we've missed since we last spoke all the best stories for waffling these days so yeah well we know we know that it's to theo did uh something

at prison but you know he doesn't like telling that story on here we actually hadn't filmed that was i did that after our last ever backside recording right are we are we ready but this is why are you holding that anyway

just in case anyone starts kicking off I got the gavel okay please don't claim you're tanned please don't claim you're tanned

you can barely see that that's tanned you've been there two weeks you can't see any lads comment right now if you think Theo is tanned.

And if he isn't tanned, subscribe. When I'm out of the shower, very tanned. Do you want to play Guessing Guys? I'd love to. I saw a monkey stole a banana. Amazing. They were well scary. They were like...

Reeve, sing me in. What the fuck, man? Well, you waited a while to reel out the monkey guessing gas what is he gonna do next handy handy boy what did you call it in the prep um guys gobbles right can we can we chat right now because the last week's one had a big reaction no right number one fuck off with your traitor bullshit we're in a team here I swear on Poppy's life No one knows Number two to Reeve

If anything we can go like this now Number two Yeah Yeah Oi I told you Reeve I told you What he was doing

So please When I figure out his mind Sure You need to trust me Do you know what I should have been more assertive On the first time we did this You technically got it right last week

He's Fucking He doesn't do anything! He's a fraud. So I'll let you... You can lead this one. It's currently 1-0. It's currently 1-0 to me because last week didn't count. Yeah. But we also need the comments

to... They still haven't given us the best forfeit between the three... Oh, yeah. The three versus one. End of score. So please let us know in the comments. First of all, guess... Go along and guess what you think the false story is. So please let us know in the comments. First of all, go along and guess what you think the false story is. And then also, please let us know what you think the forfeit should be for the loser.

Loser or losers. You know, you said traitors just then. We'd started playing a game in Thailand and we should play it on the show. What is it? So it's better with more people, but we can do it with four. So it's four cards and there'll be one ace.

It's mafia, basically, isn't it? Mafia, yeah. But we have to work out who's the traitor between us four. Oh. So we've got a pack of cards. Okay. Play it at the end. Or Matt can message us.

We don't have cards. No, Matt can just message us. Anyways, let's do this for now. We'll see where we are at the end. Right. Blood. Ready? Right, come on, boys.

Obviously, it's just headlines to begin with. Air games, okay? Wait, do you want to see my new crazy socks I made your eyes go weird? No. No. We want to play this. Jesus Christ.

I know, right? No, I was saying Jesus Christ about you, not the socks. They're not that crazy. Right, this is what we've got in our fucking team, by the way. Lock in, lock in, lock in. right this is what we've got an old team by the way sitting on the edge of a bathtub carrying both heartbreak and deep gratitude relearning my worth stories that heal share yours together we are unsinkable we are unsinkable.com

woman delivers her own baby in car traveling 60 miles an hour i've seen that before it's happened i've seen that one it's real i was there oh fuck my wi-fi's gone off shit shit shit your wi-fi uh he's trying too hard with the mind game. That's a mind game everyone. He's never laid off. Which one should I say?

I don't know which one to say next. Well it just doesn't matter really does it? No because I'm trying to I don't know

which one you'll think is the fake one. I think this week's is hard. I don't know what I'd go for personally.

Cat left on plane, ends up taking three flights before reaching its destination. Maybe that's what they're arresting the bloke for. Local man claims he time travelled six minutes into the future and demands government investigation. But isn't that what happened with your guy?

You told us that story. No, that's a different one. What? With Stephen Hawking? Mate, we should do that again. We'll have another proper party for a time traveller. Right. Questions?

Okay. On the basis of probability, he picked B on both the last two. So I don't know if... No, don't look at that he could easily do that give us a summary of each one again

like not a full thing just like so what is it woman birth birth woman so the birth woman and then so a woman this is in England

in Cumbria England Cumbria a woman was on the way so she was she was on the way to give birth but

it didn't make it apparently got stuck on a roundabout how do you get stuck on a roundabout well I haven't read it properly

it was no sorry it was a 45 minute journey from their home and the the couple had to repeatedly stop their car to check that they could

make it through the flooded roads there you go that's funny Tom because I thought you said she was driving no no I didn't say she was driving. I said she delivered her own baby.

Not give birth to herself. So she delivered her own baby whilst her partner was driving. I think that's definitely true. At 60 miles an hour, though. 60 mile an hour roads. But how are you driving at 60 mile an hour in floods? They're trying to get to hospital. The reason they didn't make it to hospital

is because they kept making stops because of the floods. But then, obviously, the run towards the hospital, they didn't make it in time, so she delivered her own baby. See, I'm already sceptical of this one because that's the logistics of a 45-minute drive going 60 mile an hour, stopping and starting with floods, is really... I don't think you're understanding.

I don't think you're understanding. It was a 45-minute journey because of the floods and what's the sport and what's the speed limit of those roads right there you i really don't you are not helping i don't you you have a lot to make up for after last week right i i had the week before i have some suspicion on the first one though for the reason that he after he read that he then went I don't know which one I should put the order of the fake one.

What was the first again? That was the first one. What I'd like to say is which would which would kind of imply that he's already said the fake one and he's trying to

throw us off with the other two. I agree. And also I know one of Tom's tells when someone is lying they do little things each person has their own thing tom he plays with his penis and he has been doing that he has been doing that non-stop throughout

that story he's been fidgeting with it i'm gonna tell the truth i'm playing with someone else yes see i think that's the most realistic though okay so the next one most realistic you can't give birth to yourself right most realistic of last week's was the fucking coffee that ended up being fake. Yeah, but I only expected it in your head. Yeah, but the Russian spy whale, that's not a really... So the cat... I did.

The cat, it's an eight-year-old cat called Mittens. That is a stereotypical name. And Mittens has lost drastically... Has lost a drastic amount of weight after three trips in 24 hours which saw her being flown to melbourne before mistakenly being taken back to new zealand and then she had to take two more trips to get to her original destination cargo and not been basically yeah aren't the cats up in in the seats with you no yeah they are

they're in cargo yeah they are animals get put in cargo no they don't you can't you can't have them in cabin most of the time

so don't they just freeze to death down there no no put the heater on that'd be well scary yeah imagine you shitting it

like a dog alone in it really and then there's a local man in Springfield Missouri January the 28th. Todd Jefferson has claimed he went to... This is where this gets like mental.

He claimed he lay down at 8.14 p.m., blinked, and it was 8.20pm holy shit he just had a nap he was adamant he didn't nap slash sleep so he's now started a GoFundMe campaign

to fund further experiments into time travelling to which he has so far raised 43 dollars okay i'm telling you now that's true by the way yeah america hang on he time traveled no but i i don't i believe him the place that he's listed is so so perfect because when we were talking about the nfl the other day he found out that springfield was in Missouri for the first time. Why has that just come up as the exact place again?

He time-traveled, mate. That's such a coincidence. That's such a coincidence. He's just discovered that location exists.

I don't think Tom could come up with a story like that. That's mental. Not only that, we should fund his GoFundMe because that's serious

research. What are you doing with this? It's really irritating me. Come on now. You're team captain for today. What are you doing with this? It's really irritating me. Would you, come on now. You're team captain for today.

What do you think? What do you think? I think we need to find his golf on me and each put 100. No, no. He's asking what you think's fake.

Should we call a friend? Call a friend. Is it like, I'm a celeb. You can't, no, you can't have an extra player. We can call a friend.

We can call a friend. That's one of our, that's all God given, right? I'm going to call a friend. Who are you going to call? Call a friend. Are you playing this properly now or are you just being silly? No, we're calling a friend. No, you our That's all God given right I'm going to call a friend Who are you going to call Call a friend Are you playing this properly now Or are you just being silly

No we're calling a friend No you're not allowed You're not allowed help Based off what he said Of the three stories Which one do you think Is the fake one I think they're all

Very believable So now it just comes down To the science of How Tom thinks Who the fuck are you ringing What's going on here Surely this is Void Who's his friend

I think it's Chip You're not allowed help What's going on here? Surely this is Void. Who's his friend? I think it's Chip. You're not allowed help. That's just awkward if he does that. Oh my God, he's not even answering. He hasn't got any friends. That's so creepy. Out of everyone to ring, you're not allowed help.

Why can't I ring him? You're not allowed help. Okay, let's get in the mind of Tom. Well, finally you're actually playing. The previous two weeks, Tom has said B. Okay. Sorry, that was literally the thing I started with 10 minutes ago

and now you've said, no, no, no, no. We just have to break him down. I think it is B. I think it is B again. No. Because I think Tom thinks that we don't think he do B three times. Always going to be B. But I know he did. But maybe Tom actually expected us to discover

that he did B two weeks in a row. And he let us find out. I can't remember what was... Presuming that we would come to that assumption. You just let a Beyblade and let him go. Presuming that we'd come to that assumption. And then therefore, he would put it A or C. I honestly can't remember what order I told you.

Okay, let's think about it logically. Genuinely. So that means subconsciously you would probably say B again because that's your natural state to say B. Rain man, rain man. I can tell you this isn't me trying to play you or be weird. The order has got nothing to do with it. His subconscious goes B. Okay, woman giving birth in car

probably true. Man blinking thinking his life's ever existed. How come we just said probably true? Probably true. It's B, whatever. What was B? The cat. Yeah, it's B whatever what was B the cat yeah it's false also the cat took 24 hours

the cat drastically losing weight in 24 hours is not going to happen he doesn't eat well he didn't eat for 24 hours he's not going to

drastically lose weight is he yeah no he's not I kind of agree with you there I don't think he could it would lose a bit it would lose a lot

he's going to drastically lose weight come on they could no they couldn't look at you you're lying look at you they definitely could he's trying to play us all lose a bit like it would lose a lot come on they could yeah look at you he's trying to play us off that's his intentional laugh

guys it's it fucking mittens come on mittens but he's playing with his dick for it you've got the team lead and my instinct said A originally because when he said which one should I say is the fake one,

A was already said. I don't want to be team leader. We're all equal. No, no, no. We're all equal. We have to be equal. It's B. No one can take a back seat here.

It's B. It's A. He played with his dick. Fucking mittens. Did he play with his dick for B or C? I'm not looking. I don't know. So which one stands out?

He only discovered that Springfield, Missouri was a place to like on the stream yesterday and that ended up being the place that he mentioned so we've got

Mittens vs Springfield but as he mentioned that as he tried to find a Springfield story to lead us into thinking you wouldn't think that much would he

I don't think to get him going mental yeah I think he would on the rest of it Tom I promise you Tom has been working on this since the minute that the last you, Tom has been working on this since the minute that the last podcast ended.

Yeah, I agree. This has been a whole week-long fucking mission. Everything's carefully scripted and choreographed, so don't believe any of the shit that he's coming out with. Everything he knows, he's doing. He's got an erection, man. He's fucking... He's never been more excited.

It's going to be 2-0 right now. I can't, man. Anything that can happen will happen. You actually... I feel like you're all in different... I'm going with B. Different... Why?

I've told you why. Because of these cold mittens. There's a reason... The cat's not going to traffic me who's waiting 24 hours. Yeah, of course he can't. Have you got a cat? Yeah. Have you ever been around a cat?

Yeah, and what happened? You didn't feed it in 24 hours. I bet it course he can't. Have you got a cat? Yeah. Have you ever been around a cat? Yeah, and what happened? You didn't feed it in 24 hours. I bet it's your fucking cat. Murderer. He didn't say he was dead. Also, that's mine. No, get rid of that now. That's really sent

shockwaves in my heart. The cat's not dead. It's a rude thing by your heart. That pussy ain't dead. What? Right, so what are you thinking? Also, by the way, guys, he said three flights,

but he named four flights in the story, so he's fucking lying. No, I didn't. He did. Are we just not... You said he flew to Australia. Someone's time travel. Three extra flights.

Where did he fly from? He was flying from... Yeah, so now it's a he, not a she. He's acting like he's messed up. It sounds like a she to me. Oh, my God, B's definitely real. He was being flown to Melbourne And then got taken back to New Zealand

But it took three flights From After the original flight He's acting He's acting After the original flight It took three flights To get back

Mate it's not 24 hours To get from New Zealand to Australia It was It was put on the wrong things I think See I think You know he's trying to beat us I'm spitting everywhere.

He's trying to bait us. Are you going A? He's picking B. Are you going A? Right. It's B, it's mid. I think it's,

I think it's A, but I, I think he thinks I, I think he knows that I will believe the time travel thing. So that's why it must be fake.

The, the, the only reason why I do think it potentially could be C is because of the whole Springfield Association.

Okay, so... He didn't know that was a place that existed two days ago. Wait, you didn't know Springfield was a real place? No, I knew Springfield was a real place

but we were looking at where the Super Bowl was and then I found out there was a Springfield in Missouri. But there's also like... Wait, in Springfield? In Missouri.

There's also like five Springfields in America. But actually, it might have stuck out to him because he's just learned about it. Is the Super Bowl in Springfield? No. Alright actually it might have stuck out to him because he's just learned about it. Is the Super Bowl in Springfield?

No. All right, let me try something. We were looking at like where Kansas City play and that way. Can you look at me right? One second. Now, can you just please repeat after me? Story A is correct.

Story A is correct. Can you see it? Story B is correct. Story B is correct. Story B is correct. Story B is correct. Story C is correct. Story C is correct. Oh, he took his finger off his ear for the last one. I know which one it is.

It's C. I know which one it is. Go on then. Which one? It's A. I think it's A. I think it's A. I'm convinced it's A.

I'm convinced it's B. I just know. You just said C. I think it's A. It's A. I'm looking in A. I've just seen. I's A. It's A. I'm locking in A. I've just seen... I've been looking at his micro...

I've let you have the lead on this one. I think it's A. I've seen his micro expressions. Yeah. Like Darren Brown. A cat is not getting stuck in a flight for free flight. Yeah, but a Russian... You need to leave mittens alone.

It's not mittens, man. Oh, here we go. Who's that? Hey. Thank you, man. You're live on backside. He said waffling. We're live on backside. Oh, shit. Okay.

I need your help. We've got to find a friend. And what help do you need? Go on, explain. I need you to... Are you next door? Oh. next door by the way. I need you to, I need you to, wait, are you next door? Right, do you want to, they need your input. You're going to have to come, come, come.

So we're playing, we're playing guessing Gaz. So I give- What are you doing? You're destroying the table. I give them three news stories. Breaking the set. Two are real, one's fake. Okay.

Talk into this mic, Bish. Yeah. We all have our suspicions already, so. Wait, no, no one, no one say anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no's fake. Okay. Talk into the smoke, Bish. We all have our suspicions already, so... Wait, no one say anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one... Oh, fuck. Fucking hell.

It's all right. Right, so... That sounds like it's going to break. Story A is... Do you mind? Story A, a woman delivered her own baby in a car that was going 60 miles an hour. But it's driven by the husband.

You said no input. It's no input. Story B, a cat was left on a plane and ended up taking three flights before reaching its destination, a total of 24 hours, and the cat drastically lost weight and they feared for his life but the cat is okay number three a local man claims he's time traveled for six minutes into the future and he he's demanding a government investigation no no explain how far he traveled oh so he he claims to he lay he lay down at 8 14 pm he he's adamant he didn't sleep or nap he blinked he woke

he blinked and he looked at his clock and it was 8.20 and now he's set up a GoFundMe which has so far raised $43

which is a fake so he's not time travelled he's just gone to sleep well but it might be a fake headline that he's made up alright

so these are apparently two real ones two real two headlines are real ones. Yeah, in the last week. That's real because I've been

in a similar situation to that myself. Are you the one who's made the complaint? Is it your girlfriend? I've had deja vu. And the deja vu has ended up being real.

What's up me? That is what deja being real. What's up me? That is what deja vu is. What's up me? We need to call a different friend. He's given out an extra headline. You don't know what I've been through. He just explained deja vu. What did you dream in deja vu?

Something happened in real life and I saw it happen again. What was it? I've got a memory. This doesn't have a memory. This doesn't help. What was it? No, no, let him cook.

He's on to something. He had a memory. He's on to something. I was cooking. We found a friend for a reason. He was on a gutter in a thaw. So something happened to me and then in the future...

We don't care. I can't wait. Don't shut that up. Because the story makes sense future Something happened to me and then in the future I remember that that thing happened That's hard drugs, isn't it? God's sake No, but deja vu is real which means time So I'm gonna say that one's have you heard that they think deja vu is you tapping into a parallel universe of

yourself it's like a parallel universe of yourself because in another universe when you get deja vu that thing happened but you chose a different choice right yeah the timeline separate what fake story what do you think the fake story is? Mate, we're talking about timelines. I don't think any of them are fake. Big one! They are all real. It's coming in. They're all...

Okay, what's actually... You know what? Here's what's fake. Oh, God. He's going to get... Here is what's fake. Deep, sorry. World politics.

Oh, my God. There is an agenda. Hey, here. Hey, here. My lady. My lady. Oh my God. There is an agenda. Hey, hey. Hey, hey. My lady. Who's got BBL? Oh, um, what? Which is the fake story?

The cat. I want to talk to my buddy. Okay, thank you. Oh no, he's freezing you. No, it's not the cat. It's not the cat. That's what I think it is. Round of applause for Chip.

Thanks, Chip. They can't see you. Yo, what are you filming? What have you got a mic on for? I'm just filming a brand new... Oh, Barry's got breath. Yeah, totally B. I feel like that's happened before somewhere.

You broke our set, though. So, you've both gone... You and Chip went B, but I mean, how much are you going to listen to Chip? We can't do B. B, I promise you. He is the godfather. And you two are adamant it's A.

Yeah. We're not adamant, but you think it's A. I think, if I say percentage, I reckon it's like 60% A. Which one was A again? What happened on A? 30% C,

and then 10%. I can't remember it. I think it's B. Okay, I really don't think it's B. As it's a draw, me and Lewis. A is the baby.

A is the baby. A is the baby at speed. B is the cat. C is the time traveller. Lewis, what we'll do then, we'll... Stop switching! That means B wins! What the fuck? The baby at speed. B is the cat. C is the time traveller. Lewis, what we'll do then, we'll... Stop switching! That means B wins!

What the fuck are you on about, mate? That means B wins. Why have you suddenly thought that? He looked into my eyes, mate. It's definitely A. Chip's come in and gone, oh, actually, yeah, it might be me. And now he thinks it's C.

Does he think it's all three? Do you know what you're doing? You're doing what you're doing on pitch side and you're covering every single angle and then going I knew it was one of them at one point look at me again

just look at me it's B could be B actually oh my god alright Lewis I'm here we're going here we're going here

that is a majority draw so we have to do rock paper scissors it's not me you lose your you only have half a ball for this week that's your treachery last week, mate.

Which one are we doing? I'm not going... We can't go B. It's definitely not B. It's a fucking mittens. We can't. His treachery last week. He has half fought this week.

Are we a democracy? No, because you slayed us. I'll tell you what we'll do. It's like you stabbed Abraham Lincoln in the back and then you want to be the president. This is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. He's going for B.

I'm going for A. We'd play rock, paper, scissors. If we draw, we'd go for C. Deal. That's a good shot. Oh, we're going to fucking... Deal.

He's playing me. That's fair. That is a good shout. However, I will say if you do win, you win off luck. That's what I was going to say. I don't want to win off luck.

Sorry. I don't want to win off luck. It's luck anyway. No, no, no. Whoever wins is luck. We shouldn't do it like this. We need to decide. We can't win off just guessing. That's boring. The thing to improve right now is we've got two Democrats over here. Yeah, true. He betrayed us last week and you want to go with him again?

You said it off the Communist Party. It's here. We've given you captaincy. That also isn't fair to say democracy. Trust me, it's here. Because they said A and you said B. We've owned a friend who's B. He was all about D and J. I don't think he even knew what the game was.

We've given you captaincy and you've said every option so far. I promise you it's A. I looked into his soul. Let's play rock, paper, scissors then. Come on. No, because it can't be a decided block. No, that defeats the premise of the game. Democracy is democracy.

It can't be luck. We have to decide. And you betrayed us last week. Yeah, true, actually. So why would we follow you again? You need to regain our trust. You've only got half a vote

in this week. So it's actually two versus one. Is any of you right? Please, rock, paper, scissors. Come on. That's the time he was trying to swear you.

He betrayed us, mate. I bet he's fucking done it again. Which is better for the content? Us to just say A or do this game? I don't like that because it's luck. Are we doing it on shoe

or on scissors? I can't celebrate a victory. Just tell me. Look at him he's trying to fucking manipulate he's in cahoots again I'm not

don't hey after last week you cannot do this to me again you've got capacity today I promise you you can't betray me no

are you sure you don't want to do rock, paper, scissors after last week you can't do this to me again we have to go away you pick then and I swear to if you don't say anything else mate it's c by the way minus one as team captain oh yeah it's like rock paper scissors minus one and then you go

rock paper scissors and then you go wait no oh do it okay so no no no genuinely genuinely can you shut the fuck up wait can we get an answer Wait hear me out That's class Tom and Gord here Please A She going A I think so

It tickles down slowly C's definitely fake So A was The woman wasn't it Fuck please Do you think the woman Delivering the baby I'm not going to tell you

That one yet B Was the cat left on the plane True story Yeah I thought it was A. It's a true story! Mate, I told you! If it is C, and it's because of Springfield, Missouri,

I'm going to fucking kill... We should have played what it was. We could have drawn it. It could have been right. Yeah, it could have been. The other real article... Fuck. I can't take this.

Was the woman delivering the baby? No! The fake story... Was the time traveller. I said Springfield, Missouri found out yesterday. Can I just say, can I just say, so obviously it's made up. I did chat GBT for that story and it just said Springfield. I added Missouri. And when you said that, when you said that, I was like, fuck. it just said Springfield. I added Missouri. And when you said that,

when you said that, I was like, fuck, I've actually fucked it. I knew it. I knew it. He added that detail based on him discovering it yesterday.

Do you know what's funny as well? Is that, so you were right, yeah? But Lewis. No, he wasn't. No, you're not claiming right. No, I'm not.

He said A. He said A in 30% C. had just gone with the democracy and played rock, paper, scissors. That's not, we're not winning off a right. No, I'm not. He said A. He said A and 30% C. The point is, it's Lewis had just gone with the democracy and played rock, paper, scissors. That's not, we're not winning off luck. No, we can't win off luck. I didn't want you to do it. That's stupid.

Otherwise, it's just a 33% chance. That's boring. We have to use our intellect. You were completely wrong, by the way. By the way, this guy's a fucking caveman and he's done us over three times in a row. One of them from your help. That's such a tell.

He said the same place that we said on stream. He was itching his dick through here. I am a lot smarter than you give me credit for. No, you're not. No, you're not. I really am. Poo face. But you know nothing about him, by the way.

You looked into his eyes. I said it was C. I said it was C. No, you didn't. You also said it was B and A. By the way, you, as soon as I read the time traveller, you went 100% true. You also said it was B and A. Well, by the way, you, by the way, as soon as I read, as soon as I read The Time Traveller, you went 100% true.

I've seen it. And then you were convinced, and then you were convinced it was B. You couldn't have been further than the truth. You were always wrong. On the first week with the pub, he was like, I've seen it, I've seen it.

I had seen it. That's a fake article. So you've been cooked against. That's 2-0 to Tommy G. Did you say that intentionally? Which? When you, after the first one, you went, oh, I don't know which one to make the fake one. No, it was genuinely, no, no.

I wasn't like it. I went, I don't know which one to say next. Just. Tom, how, so did chat DVD come up with the blinking thing? With the time traveller, yeah. That's hilarious. Yeah. Oh, no, to be fair.

So he doesn't have a girlfriend, really? I you you were convinced you were convinced he was real you're gonna pay for his go fund me mate i've just been sent this picture by the way i don't know if you've seen him before or not have you seen that before show the camera it'll be on screen don't worry oh god damn damn daddy so yeah that is that's two why do you actually

have tits though two nil down so that's two nil down and by the way it's only first of five I'm fucking fed up mate I'm sick of that fucking shit

stupid twas also what are you talking about all about this week all about this week me you shouldn't believe me. Last week,

we'd be 1-1. Lewis, you got it wrong. You picked captaincy on this one. I didn't want captaincy. I wanted help. You got it wrong this week.

You helped me. You made your decision. We were team. He was just mental. You can never just be wrong and own up to your mistake. You were wrong on every single thing.

That's the sign of a weak man. It's a hard deal with losing this fucking game look at him he's got a boner man out of all of them C was the one you were least likely

to go with no B was no he wasn't you were between A and B B was never you never once said you wanted to donate to the GoFundMe

yeah yeah yeah you said we should investigate this if time travel's real. Yeah. Well, the thing is, time travel is real, so that made sense

for that story to exist. I'd just like to point out as well that your tale of Tom Holden and his cock when he's lying is just bollocks. Yeah, I do that all the time. I'm not sure he's telling the truth, though. I think it's just a general thing he does, mate.

I just always play with my cock. Why? Don't know. Morning all the time. Sitting on the edge of a bathtub, carrying both heartbreak and deep gratitude. Relearning my worth. Stories that heal.

Share yours. Together, we are unsinkable. We are unsinkable.com. Right. Should we do philosophy? It just makes me want to... You won't know because you'd be like that. This is why I get really angry at philosophy because it comes off the back of this.

It's not very long. Go on, Em. That's what she said. Philosophy, philosophy. Now, I can't take credit for this one. This isn't really a philosophical question, but it's an interesting one. I saw it on the Premier League TikTok page.

How many holes does a straw have? Oh, I saw this. One. Yeah. It's one. Two. It's one. You're a fucking...

You are the stupidest bloke alive. No, no, no, no, no. Come here. You say a number. It's one. Yeah, okay. Reasoning as... Why? Well, it's one hole. Yeah, but what no, no, no. Come here. You say a number. It's one. Yeah, okay. Reasoning as to why. Well, it's one hole.

Yeah, but what's the reason? Two. Then why is it two? Because there's one on each side. It is what it is. How many holes? How many holes are in that? There's one hole.

There's one hole here. Come on, Tom. Between that hole, Poi. There's one hole. On your ear holes, it's not one big hole because it goes out. It's one hole and a separate hole. Lewis, one big hole because it goes through it's one hole

and a separate hole Lewis you know a polo mint polo how many holes in a mint polo one why is that only one though why is it only one

and why is there no because it's deeper at a certain point of deepness no no at what point of deepness okay I can define this

for you very well if the circumference of the hole is big is smaller than the hole itself then therefore it's two holes that's so stupid that is crazy so the circumference of a polo is bigger than the depth of the polo so

therefore is one hole however if the depth of the polo was deeper than the circumference it would be two holes. No. Do you know what? You are. No, no, no, no, no. Don't ruin it. Don't ruin it.

Oh, put it on the screen. I will just say. I haven't even read that. I don't know what it is. I will just say. We're not ruining anything. You are. Yeah, it is normal.

You are one of the most stupid people I've ever met in my life. However. Einstein would agree. Don't think you would, mate. I made sense. I kind of like that argument. You actually think it's a good argument? It's a good argument, yeah.

How can it still be two holes? It does. It's one hole. It's one hole with a good argument? It's a good argument, yeah. How can a straw be two holes? It does cut in one hole. It's one hole with two openings. No, it's two holes, bro. No, it's not. It's like a puzzle. It's okay. So, okay, how about this?

So I have the straw like this. A straw is one hole with two openings. I have a straw like this, okay? Between my fingers. Like your cock. I squeeze it like that. How many holes now? None.

None? What are you on about? There's still each end. How many holes? Oh, yeah, but there's two now. how many holes oh yeah but there's two now yeah there's two because you've created

the end completely irrelevant boys no it's not no it's not there's two holes no how many

so just one one hole how many now two holes right anyway that was a teaser interesting to think that you think like that um second one is would the world be a better place if everyone without lewis oh well yeah actually it's kind of

relevant would the world be a better place if everyone got what they wanted no no no way no no why yeah what if what if two conflicts oh god what like, I wanted to live and he wants me to die? Then what happens? How do we settle it? What happens if, like, someone wants, like, eternal sex with 100 humans every day? How often do you decide what you want? How often...

The fact that's the first thing that was asked. I was just, no, do you know what he's worrying? I went, would the world be a better place if everyone got what they wanted? He went, no. But... In this world, Reeve, is it like maybe like once a year, everyone goes into a room and you just write down like 10 wishes? That's a good idea.

Why do you have to make it so specific? Because it's like, I want now, I want now. It's like nonstop. I feel like it has to be a moment where you decide. So then the world can go. Oh, so like the purge. Otherwise that can counteract all yours. It's like the Purge. Maybe one a year.

The Ten Commandments. One day, but you write wishes down. One a year. One a year? Yeah. What happens if you wish for the whole world to die? Then someone better wish for the whole world to live, otherwise we're fucked.

Someone else wishes for world peace. Oh, that could be a good point. So it could be no wishes could come true if there's a counteract. Ah, good point. Yeah, that's nice. But if you wish for eternal money but someone could wish for me

to have eternal poorness oh that would be so annoying though wouldn't it yeah I'm gonna wish for him to end up being hang on

I'd spend my whole life I'd wish for eternal money and it's not come true who of you out there would wish for me eternal poorness I'd spend my whole life wishing for his downfall

so he could never get what he wanted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every wish is counteracted. I wish for happiness and healthiness. Why the fuck am I dying? I'll share my wish if you share your wish. You should never share wishes, you know. You can't share wishes, bro.

If you wish for an eternal orgasm, have you ever seen a review? What? Why would you want an eternal orgasm? You sit there and you're just like no that would get that would be essentially you just become disabled yeah that would become a that would become an issue after a while well you are technically but like if you just sat there like you think disabled people feel eternal orgasms no that's not what i'm saying tom if you actually listen to what i'm saying, I'm saying if he did that, he wouldn't have to do anything.

Well, he would. I wonder what was that. He could work at a zoo and just be spunking. Permanent pleasure would be tedious. Yeah, exactly. After a while, mate. You can only have pleasure when you experience pain. Does anyone have that condition?

What does that mean? What the fuck does that mean? Permanent orgasm? Obviously, we don't have that. Matt, can you search? Does anyone have permanent orgasm? No, they don't. that. Matt, can you search? Does anyone have permanent orgasm? No, they don't. I don't think they do, mate.

Someone probably does. I'm sure we've seen a documentary where a guy just can't stop coming. Oh my God, they used a polo as the actual... Did it agree with me? The whole thing? There you go.

No, it didn't agree with you, mate. It's basically equivalent to a circle. I think Einstein would agree. I'm not sure. When you give a circle depth, it becomes a straw. I've got a question for you. So imagine, right,

you had a blue pill and a red pill. Okay. The blue pill... It's just sounding like Josh's déjà vu argument. The blue pill saves your life, but everyone else on the world dies

who doesn't take the blue pill. And the red pill... And the red pill it means the whole world stays alive but everyone on the earth has to take the red pill give me the what wait what otherwise the world dies so if everyone gets if everyone takes the red pill yeah everyone's the whole earth survives if you only take the if everyone takes red pill but one person takes like the blue no like i think like more people take the blue pill than red then everyone dies but the blue people the blue one just keeps you alive so blue keeps you alive for certain red pill could keep the whole world alive

but over 50 have to take that pill which one do you take i'll take that the saddest the sad reality is is that the blue pill would win i take the red pill because logically everyone should take the red no no because i wouldn't want to live in a world where i'm the only person alive no that's that the blue pill would win. I'd take the red pill because... Logically, everyone should take the red. No, no, no, because I wouldn't want to live in a world where I'm the only person alive. No, that's not what they're saying. Yeah, it is.

No, it's not. Of course it is because he said if I take the blue pill, I'm guaranteed to stay alive. No, anyone else with the blue pill... If you choose the blue pill,

you stay alive but everyone else dies. I'd take the red pill. Really? Much more than you should take because I think you're right. I think blue pill would win. You've essentially just described politics though. Yeah, so you'd die then. I know take the red pill. Really? I think you're right. I think blue pill would win. You've essentially just described politics, though.

Yeah, so you'd die then. I know, so I've got no choice. So I'd rather... Ka-chow. I'd rather try and sway it more to the red. Might as well give it a go. I know if I'm going to die anyway. That's a genuine moral dilemma.

Do you value your selfishness over... That's a good question, actually. It's like voting in politics. It's like Squid Game when... Have you watched Squid Game 2? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a bit like that. You can vote on this one on this one basically oh you can take the green pill you can vote why would you add a third one come on man no you had a good basically on squid game too look it doesn't

ruin it but they're they introduced you can now vote but it has to be majority all right so you can either all leave and split the money or continue and but obviously people more people will die but the pot will grow if you get through so it becomes a moral dilemma I would definitely take the red pill and I'm not even trying to be a knight in shining armor person that's why it's a moral dilemma I just know it's more

it's more I agree with you I think there's a lot of well evil yeah see you next Tuesday's who would choose the blue just to save themselves so I think I'd lose anyway

wait so so you're saying so I take the red just to try and save if the red is above 50% reds win yeah okay yeah

I think most people would do that I don't know I don't think I think everyone would get blue when you're actually faced with death

logically everyone should just take the blue though if you think about it how does that make any sense then everyone still survives yeah then the whole world survives You didn't say that though He's basically saying

If you take the red And there's more than 50% of people that take the red Everyone survives but if you take the blue And only one person goes red No no Yeah so if you take the blue And other people are going red all the reds die So if you take the blue and other people are going red, all the reds die. Yeah.

But if everyone takes the blue, everyone is guaranteed to survive. It's a very simple concept. So if you're smart, the smart thing to do is to take the blue. Yeah. You'd have to ensure

that every person on the planet would take the blue pill. So you'd probably just have to go red to help them out because they're probably sick. Well, America would all be dead. Yeah, we'd actually have to vote red. Although blue is the correct decision,

you have to compensate for the idiots who don't understand. What happens if I choose blue and 51% go red and 49% go blue? Do I die? Everyone's safe. You're safe.

No, you're alive. You're guaranteed to survive. Then the whole world survives. Imagine if there was... Red won. Imagine if there was a countdown for this. I'd go blue then? Yeah, I think realistically

you probably have to. Imagine if this was happening in a week on all the news networks. It'd be like, vote blue, vote red. Make sure you vote in blue, everyone. No, vote red, you twat. I think realistically you probably have to. Imagine if this was happening in a week on all the news networks it'd be like vote blue, vote red make sure you vote in blue everyone no, vote red you twat. I think with all the arguments

of like the discourse of people trying to push which one's the best idea it would get muddled up and it would be really tight. This happened in four years in America. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the film

Don't Look Up or what's it called? Yeah, it would be there'd be different groups saying blue or red. And when they were voting if they could basically stop the meteor

and they were like, no, it's all fake. And then obviously they'd just all die. Because both ways technically work. So naturally, with how humans work,

we'd fuck it up because people would swear to which side they're going with. It would actually probably be a very split vote. That is actually quite philosophical on the terms of... That was very good. I think I've seen that somewhere. That might be the best one. Which side they're going with. It would actually probably be a very split vote. Yeah. That is actually quite philosophical on the terms of...

That was very good. I think I've seen that somewhere. I said that might be the best one. I can't remember where. Yeah, you've basically made Ollie look like a twat. No, that's not came from my head. I've seen that somewhere. In a fucking straw with a hole in it.

I've seen that somewhere. I said that was a warm-up one. I'm joking, babe. I like the straw one. But yeah, that sums up humans. It does. Yeah. Humans.

Damn, we're kind of deep what happens to the monkeys though that's the beauty of someone else doing the segment now because I feel like I extorted everything that I could find

well how about from now on one of us does philosophy and you do the quiz sure why not I'll do that

thank god I don't have to do philosophy again I like the straw one I don't do philosophy I liked the one last week where we

killed me ex-girlfriend what? oh what in the paramedic accident your dad who was your mom who was actually shagging your ex that's mad

right and you someone yeah someone said about find out I'll be their cock have we got fact versus fact Theo

wait you're odd this is how well you have to single say it or talk or say it. It's the fact versus fact, motherfucker.

Come on, you just go back and which one? Fact versus fact. But none of them are actually facts because these two are fucking idiots.

Yeah. And they've just probably made most of it up and really fucking like over exaggerated the bullshit that they've seen on the internet.

And we didn't vote on it anyway even though this segment is crap. And Lewis will probably say it's aliens. This is a real mad fact. Mad fact. This is how a flagpole at Anfield, Liverpool's football ground, changed the entire world. Whoa. Raucous, I know.

Skeptical already. Yeah. Let me talk to you about something called the transatlantic cable. Sorry, before you get into this, by the way, do you know last week

when he did the world's longest fence and that? It was incorrect. It was so incorrect. It was great with China, wasn't it? Very well, China's bigger. China's not a fence.

No, no, we brought that up and you're like, no, it's longer. You didn't say, you said this was longer. Yeah. So let's just keep that in mind going into here. If I was an We brought that up and you're like, no, it's longer. You didn't say. You said this was the biggest wall. Yeah, wall. So let's just keep that in mind going into here.

If I was an idiot like you guys, you could have just said, well, clearly a fence isn't a wall. No, you said that it was bigger. You said, what's the biggest wall slash fence in the world? And we said Great Wall of China.

And you said no. No. You said it was the dingo fence. The dingo fence. The dingo fence. The little Korean wall of China. You've got to keep them dingo the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence

the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence

the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence

the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence

the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence

the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence

the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence

the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence

the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence

the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence the dingo fence Let me talk to you about the transatlantic cable. Now this thing. Can I just ask a quick sorry to put in? Can I ask you a quick question? Is this from ChatGBT? No. Yes, it is.

Swear on Jodie's life. Swear on Jodie's life. Say the whole sentence. I swear on Jodie's life this is not from ChatGBT. Okay. Thank you, boss. Also known as the transatlantic telegraph cable. Do you know what this is?

Do you know what this fucking thing is? No. So, obviously before that Wi-Fi and that, Telegraph cable Do you know what this is? Do you know what this fucking thing is? No So Obviously before like Wi-Fi and that To call someone up It has to go through wires Yeah

Call me up There's a cable There's a cable Underwater That goes from North America To Europe Damn Okay

Yeah I know Do you know how long that is? Yeah it's a long time Yeah that's very long How long do you think it is? How the fuck do they even because the Russians the Russians have been

destroying the cables by dragging the rankers first one 2,500 miles under the water made of copper and iron insulated by Guta Percher right

yeah it's only 2,500 miles from America to England well the second one is from Canada to Scotland that's not right which is 3,500 kilometers and it's connected

through Newfoundland and Oban in Scotland and then there's also one that is 4000 miles long that goes from Virginia Beach

in the US to Bilbao in Spain we are a pretty unbelievable species aren't we let me tell you I don't know if we

can take credit I feel like we should say that I said species I know but like I feel like when we say that. I said species. I know, but like, I feel like when we say that, I mean, look at what we're doing.

We just put a cable under water 4,000 miles. We didn't do it. I feel like we can't take credit. If it's true. I have to say, like,

there's a certain amount of us that have good, impressive, we're just like, yeah. The way to send a message was like through ships and like messages

in a glass bottle in the ocean and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a fucking thousand years ago bottle in the ocean and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a fucking thousand years ago.

I never, they never did that. Sorry, sorry. Everyone's going to a beach with their fucking scroll written on a glass bottle and go, I hope they get this one day. I've never heard back from them, it's been 55 years. It's been washed up to the beach, two kilometres down shore.

For London to send a message to Washington, yeah, before this cable, they had to send it on a ship. Not a message in a bottle. Not in a bottle. Fucking ocean. That is also one way, but the majority of those letters

didn't find their destination. Anyways, lads. People in America opening up going, hi, Catherine here, missed my doctor's appointment. What the hell? There was tribes in fucking Kenya going, what the fuck is this? Well, Kenya's a landlocked country, mate.

Oh, God. In the 1850s, Cyrus Westfield, what a name, by the way, Cyrus Westfield. Not any association with current Westfields. Or Miley Cyrus, no. He basically is a businessman that proposed the idea of laying a cable under the Atlantic Ocean to connect Europe and North America. And in 1857, they tried it.

It was a long time ago to put a cable that long under the ocean. However. It's easy. How would they even do that? It was plagued by technical issues. Yeah, I can imagine. Also, what was the cable consisting of I told you what it was made of copper and iron and it was insulated by gupa pertra but

what would what would the what would it do like it's not electric is it electricity it can't be can it see it's just like 1857 no absolutely not yeah you could be right in 1857 the phone wasn't even invented then I'm not sure if that's true yeah

yes it was there's no way in 1857 the phone was invented yes it was google it Matt there's no phone

in 1857 I refuse to believe well there wasn't up until the cables 1876 yeah they were they were 20 years behind they were ready for they were they were ready 20 years

behind you ready for it brilliant they were ready for it no you could send um what do you call it what are those 1844 you could say uh what's the other thing you could send not not a telephone you could send like um what's it called like a not a p, like a... Morse code? A fax. A fax? Something like that, yeah. You are joking! That's based on a telephone! A fax is... To be fair, was it 1854 you said? 1857.

I think they were experimenting with it. 1964 was a fax! This is... Look, 1843, Alexander Bain, a Scottish inventor, painted the electrical

printing telegraph. There you go, Steve. I don't know what the fuck that means. They weren't phoning, but you could send information via stuff. Yeah, like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Yeah. Anyway, in 1857, they failed due to technical issues. But in 1858, lads, they laid one between Ireland and Canada.

However. I'd love to know how they did that back then. This cable only worked for a few weeks before it broke as the technology wasn't quite ready and the cables

weren't as durable as I thought do you have information on how they did that because that's fucking interesting I'll tell you that

in a second moving swiftly on to 1866 obviously what happened in 1866 don't say the pile of ice 1866 oh't say the battle of 1866 oh my god

right yeah he said it's exactly 800 years after the battle of 1866 this was laid by the great eastern

which was what a large ship when we get into unfilled and was able to carry out messages reliably

between north america and europe okay do you want to know about this great ship well you're going to tell us anyway yeah i am get into Anfield. And was able to carry out messages reliably between North America and Europe. Okay. Do you want to know about this great ship? Well, you're going to tell us anyway. Yeah, I am.

This is where it relates to Anfield. But before I do that, basically, the cable basically improved messages that once took weeks to deliver could now be sent

in minutes or hours. Also, it sped up the global economy as people could make transactions and whatnot. And also, governments could communicate almost instantly. It's just reading from an article.

You haven't learned anything. You're just reading from an article. What were they made of, Tom, you asked? Well, as I said, it was copper wires and iron. And gutta percha is a rubber-like material. So basically like flubber, like blubber. Like fat. Anyways, let me talk to you about the great eastern ship

this was mad so obviously the transatlantic cable was laid by it this ship was six such a boring it's so long

mate look how big this ship was get to it this ship was six times bigger than any ship in the world on fat ship is this just about

and it was designed to take 4000 passengers between the UK and Australia so a mega one do you know what they did stripped it took everything out on fat shit is this just about and it was designed to take 4,000 passengers between the UK and Australia so a mega one do you know what they did stripped it

took everything out to fit this cable in do you know how big this cable was about 4,000 miles yeah we gathered that imagine making where'd they make

the cable I don't know okay right anyways obviously we shouldn't have to fact check we should see it

with the fact it's the one thing I'm a fan it has to be an interesting one though they basically laid it on top of the ocean they laid'm a fan of. It must be an interesting one though. They basically laid it on top of the ocean. They laid it on top of the ocean

and it just sunk. Yeah, because it's heavy. Yeah, probably killed a few sharks in that. I doubt it. Anyways, they also laid cables between France and the US, the UK and South Africa.

So there's all these cables all over the world now. Hang on, when did Liverpool Football Club start to be here? I'm about to come onto that. If you Google under the sea cables around the world and. Hang on, when did Liverpool Football Club start being... I'm not going to come onto that. If you Google like under the sea cables

around the world and look at the photo. Fucking Little Mermaid under the sea. Should teach us how concrete is around the world. Yeah, and then go on images. Images.

Look at these fucking cables. Yeah. Left one in black. Look at that. They're all the cables. So we're actually Connected by cables We're one cable country

Yep Anyways guys Do you want to know How it ended up at Anfield Yeah Let me tell you I've been waiting For 20 minutes

You spent Teasels Anfield And still bought cables When did Liverpool Begin Established Shush The Great Eastern

1898 Her cables That she laid In the Great Eastern Is she Yeah 1898 Her cables that she laid In the Great Eastern Is she Yeah get on mate Honestly Get to it

The British Empire Ticking and under control Anyways Shelton will make it in She was then retired Up in Merseyside Because it's your port Isn't it

Okay And it was broken up for scrap RIP Ripped apart Please get to it And all that is left Of the Great Eastern is her masks

which are the flagpoles at Liverpool's Anfield oh god they carry the flag and that mask is what laid the cables for the entire world

no it wasn't the entire world it was one trip no no they also did UK to South Africa USA to France they did the whole thing you are joking

what a good Read the headline again The headline Oh my god The headline How a flagpole at Anfield Changed the entire world Tell me I'm wrong

You're wrong I'm not wrong No because the flagpole Didn't change it as well The flagpole Was part of the ship that changed the whole world. The flagpole wasn't touring the world, laying the cable with arms and legs, was it?

Obviously it was. It was a task of the ship, mate. Oh my God. Are you dumb? Are you a thousand yards? It's gaslighting now. Oh my God. That was...

That is... I'm not here to judge. I'm not here to swear the judges No no no That's the biggest waste of time I've ever experienced I don't think you need to swear Imagine we're on Strictly Come Dancing

Or whatever You have to give them feedback And rate it out of 10 Well it was boring It wasn't true And Do you want to see the start Are you like

I'm really done Are you like the Simon Cowell And you're like the Cheryl Cole They're laying it right there Well it was boring and it was completely untrue and you gaslit as in by the headline and it took you half hour

to get to the bit about Liverpool which actually hooked us. You also read half of it. Zero. Yeah, you didn't learn any of it. It was a fucking eight paragraph essay. It wasn't funny. Zero. You. Zero point none. He needs to read it as well and give feedback. He's Cheryl. He's the nasty one. paragraph wasn't even essay wasn't funny zero

you zero point none he needs to rate as well and give feedback he's the nasty one you're supposed to I'll actually give you a one because I didn't know that

about the cable I'll give him a two because originally I was interested yeah he didn't actually listen to any of your feedback though he's too busy

yeah and I found out what's that thing called Guptop what was it Gupa Pert and I found out what's that thing called Guptop what was it Gupa Pertra I've discovered what that is so that's another

how sick is that though not that humans were good in the 1850s I think we still are we're just different now aren't we but they were smart

sort of yeah we have devolved a little Simon, Cheryl thanks for having me on the show today right I want to talk to you about the heist

mastermind. What did you say? Mastermind, not mastermind. Mastermind? Yeah. Did you say bath or bath? No.

Bath? Yeah. Hush. Yeah. Some weird phrases you use. Say mastermind again. You should say mastermind. Did I say mastermind?

You also say masterclass as well. Did you say masterbait? I don't know what I said. Would you? Masterbit. Masterbit. I wouldn't really say masterbit. Anyway, carry on. Yeah, but would you say master bait I don't know what I say would you masturbate masturbate I wouldn't really say masturbate

anyway carry on would you say would you say mastermind or mastermind I don't know Simon apple or apple oh Cheryl yeah you're supposed

to be the because there's always a nasty judge and nice judge so you need to find the positives and he has to be the nasty one

okay you might end up shagging me it's 1952 everything is black and white and mobs are knocking about

in suits committing crimes. Start again, Lou. Start again. You'd like that. It's 1952. Everything's black and white and mobs are knocking about in suits committing crimes.

You do realise it's only black and white on the TV in real life and not everyone's black and white. I've done you there. I didn't actually realise that, really. That's a counterfact. I just want you to pick...

I want you... When you're envisioning this... Everyone in real life, they saw in colour. When you're envisioning this back at home, I want you to pick another point when you said everyone in real life they saw in color when you're envisioning this back at home i want you to picture it in black and white i want everyone to picture this happening black and white like smoky gangster time like like you roadman roadman um okay so uh we're in england and the police were really struggling with this particular guy did you say the mob? What year did you say? In England. What year did you say this was?

I thought it was in New York. 1952. 1952. Mob in England. They did deals with gangsters. Right, okay, yeah, yeah. I'm imagining like your suit at Cheltenham, New York.

Yes. Yeah. So just change it to New York. Yeah, can we just do that? It does feel cooler. Sure, yeah, yeah. Although that's not the fact it feels cooler.

So it's a lie. Another lie. We're going to just base it in a better setting just for the visual aid. Okay, yeah. It's in the dusty cowboy deserts

in 1952. There's no deserts in New York though. Anyways, the police were really struggling with some like mystery, mysterious gang lord.

They knew the gang and the members but they didn't know who like the chief was. The most wanted. Anyways. Chief Wiggum.

You know, there was a ton of like burglaries and stuff going on. Burglary. And you know, all of New York was in ton of like burglaries and stuff going on. Burglaries. And you know all of New York was in fear. It's not you know

though is it? But it is for the context of this. Oh I'm sorry. New York in the desert. So the fact is not a fact.

The story remains true. The location doesn't matter. The location definitely matters on the basis of this being a fact. The location does not

impact the fact of the story. This was almost a hundred years after the second transatlantic cable was laid. We can move. I don't want to be deducted the point. We can move back to the UK, but it's kind of less cool. It feels cool thinking about New York.

I'll judge you at the end. Okay. Yeah. Anyways, meanwhile, the gang lord, he was still like plotting his next target. And his target was the great East Railway Ship Rival they're going after the fucking Cambridge and Norwich anyways. They wanted to fucking Great East Railway the cable he's on about I don't think it's a cable

Great East Railway is like Suffolk and Norfolk and Who do you think invented the Great Eastern Railway? Stop. The Great Eastern Ship. Anyways, the cargo on the train, it was meant to reach a nice secure location, but it never made it there. Where was it going? Somewhere.

Anyways, authorities were stumped. They had no idea how this happened. There must have been like a pro team. And the police chief goes in the room, he's like, lads, this is our guy.

I know his fingers. I'm really struggling here, Sheriff goes in the room. He's like, lads, this is our guy. Like, I know his fingers. I'm really struggling here, Sheriff. I know his fingers all over this at the moment. Women weren't traditionally in the police in the 1950s. I'm out of ideas, Sheriff. Who are we going after here, Sheriff? Between Norwich and Ipswich. We don't know which place it is.

Yeah, that's fucking spot on. Even the tractor boys and them damn Canaries. Anyways, what happened was the train stopped at a station where a group of men dressed as railway workers diverted the train. Why?

Now, the police were confused how they managed to divert the train so well, but they did it somehow. How? Flash their teeth. We'll find out.

This is a trolley problem. And they loaded the goods onto a vehicle and they got away without issue. So the police are like fucking trying to figure this out. They have no leads and the chief comes storming in and he's like, show me the police are like fucking trying to figure this out they have no leads and the chief comes

storming in and he's like show me the CCTV one more time and he goes in and he's watching it and he's like wait a second

stop stop right there yeah he's got a Norwich kit on and he's like wait rewind it rewind it

Darren Uckerby rewind it he's like stop pause and they're all like chief chief what is it

and he's like there and there was like a dog not dog man no and Huckabee. Rewind it. He's like, stop, pause. And they're all like, chief, chief, what is it? And he's like, there. And there was like a dog. Not dog, man. No, the dog's the one that's running the... So there's a dog, right?

So this is true as well. So there's a dog and he's sort of like lurking in the shadows. You know it's true when he goes, this is true by the way. I looked at him.

Anyways, you can see this dog as well. He's like barking at like the... Oh, yeah. Barking. Like, I'm not saying he follows instructions, but it kind of was like you can see this dog as well. He's like barking up like the, barking. Like, I'm not saying they follow his instructions, but it kind of was like he was in charge a little bit. Like,

you can tell with the authority, he was at a pit bull as well. Well, they're very authoritative. They're tiny little pit bull. So, and the load of these goods and that, and like the,

like the handcuffing and shit, like the actual pit workers. He's got a checklist, and a water bottle. He's got a cigar, and wire board. He's got a cigar and a trilby. No, and he's like,

and the police, they're thinking he's crazy. But he's like, he's going like this to everyone that's going by. Yeah, he's just,

oh yeah. He's like, look, he's running this shit. And it was, the train conductor actually had a pit bull of their own

and they start scrapping. No. They actually have a fight so there's two pit bulls. Obviously he wins because he's like this scrappy do he's like running the shit and everyone's going oh oh oh and it turns out he's the one who's like he's played a massive part in like distracting the train get to it mate so essentially like this this load the goods on the truck the dog jumps in the front seat are they distracting the train if there's two pit mate. So essentially, the load of goods on the truck, the dog jumps

in the front seat. How are they distracting the train if there's two pitbulls fighting? I don't even know what's going on. No, look it. Bear in mind,

this is his face for you being halfway through yours and he's just done one of his own. By the way, at this point, you still were

describing the train. I mean, the ship. Lewis, it's not adding up. You're saying they divert the train, but now there's two pitbulls fighting each other. The dog was on the tracks

and that distracted them. So where did the conductor's dog come from're saying they diverted the train but now there's two people fighting each other the dog was on the tracks and that distracted them so where did the conductor's dog come from he hopped off the train when they got to pull over and they had a fight and the pit bull won because he's a mob boss

he's a mob boss so they get the stuff I swear this is on CCTV in what year 1952 1952 CCTV began in 1947 anyways I don't think that's true we had this discussion before anyways the dog the pit bull jumps In what year? 1952. 1952. CCTV began in 1947. Anyways.

I don't think that's true. We had this discussion before. Anyways, the pitbull jumps in the front seat, sort of hangs out and he's like, on the side. Ready to go.

It's tiny little fucking pitbull. He gets out and he's like, and he gets in and he hangs his head out and he's like, let's go lads. You were wrong, it was 1942 actually. There you go, even longer. Anyways, so the he's like, and he gets in and he hangs his head out. He's like, let's go lads. Wait, you were wrong.

It was 1942. There you go. Even longer. Anyways. So the police are like, that's our man. And like the cops are like, the cops are like,

how do they know this bit, the gender? They were literally like, you must, you're barking mad. Get it? Excel bully. Anyways,

they tracked down the dog's owner and he's like a known person. How can the dog have an owner if he's running the mob? This is what they're saying yeah yeah he's like sorry I haven't

got my room in here this is what they're saying they're like no one's really believing him but he's like trust me something's not

happening so they raided they raided his owner's house right and like take him to custody what did he say

they look into the dog's in the dog's room they look in the dog's room right and there's like a bed there but also it just so happens

to be a planning room. Like there's loads of... Now, it could very much be the human doing it. But I think it's the dog. But the corkboard with all the pins is at dog height. Yeah.

It's three feet off the ground. Yeah. Usually we wouldn't think this is interesting but it's right next to his kennel so they take the dog into custody as well

and like take them all in and like they have the guy like they realise like this dog's fucking on the shit anyways

they can't they arrest all the gang members but they can't arrest the dog because he's a dog he's a dog yeah sure

so he just gets adopted and sort of lives to fight another day and that is where I believe the penguin that is where that I believe

like a bit of inspiration came from like the penguin in Wallace and Gromit sorry wait you think Feathers McGraw

was based off this pit bull? Pit bull, yeah. Rob Trains. Criminal mastermind. Damn. But yeah, he was just adopted but that heist happened and then they locked him all away.

Did he wear a little rubber hat? Rubber glove and everyone Oh, it's a chicken! I think that is the biggest load of shit I've ever heard.

Simon, did you enjoy it? I enjoyed our anecdotes. Was it a fact? It was a fact. I don't think it's load of shit I've ever heard. Simon, did you enjoy it? I enjoyed our anecdotes. Was it a fact? It was a fact. I don't think it's a fact. I'm not saying he actually is a mob boss. I'm saying like... You did a bit.

He was implicated in the crime. I will say, he played his role. You literally said he was a mob boss. You said he was dictating people to take the train. Was he barking? Yes, that's a fact. He said he got into a fight With the other conductor's dog That's a fact

You said he seemed like He was in charge Eh? In my opinion He's in charge This started in the New York desert earlier So which was it?

In my opinion He's in charge Because he's barking So therefore I don't believe this I think it's bullshit So therefore Theo wins

No no no You have to catch a vote It's not your decision Simon I vote for Theo You have your. You have to catch your vote. It's not your decision, Simon. I vote Theo. You have your score. You have to give a score. Zero. He seems a bit biased, Simon.

How's that biased? What do you think, Joe? Can I give him a one? It's a fact. How do I not even get a one? It's not a fact, though. He spent 20 minutes talking to you

about laying cables in the sea. But at least that happened. And you're giving him a higher score than a dog who ran a bus and ran through. But at least that happened. And you're giving him a higher score than a dog who ran a boss land. Oh, I'm not.

If this was fiction v. fiction, I'd vote for you. It's true. It's layered in truth. I'm not saying he's actually a criminal mastermind, but I'm saying... Well, you did appear...

I'm not interested in hearing where the inspiration for Feathers McGraw came from. I don't know who that is. Who said that? You never watched Wallace and Gromit? No.

Oh, mate. Oh, mate. No wonder you don't like... Oh No Oh mate No wonder you don't like Oh cheese No wonder you don't like it then What the hell Yeah yeah I'll give you a K9 out of 10

It's a 9 out of 10 Yeah it's a K9 joke I win Alright I'm giving you a 0.5 And Theo wins Because Theo's fact Was actually factual

Was it Yeah Once again I win For entertainment Yours was better But that was mainly Because we were laughing at you I did have a guy factual. Was it? Yeah. And once again, I win. For entertainment, yours was better, but that was mainly because we were laughing at you. I did have a guy

who met himself from the future. Let's not do that. Right, I think that all sums up for today. He has a picture of him. He has the same tattoo

that he's in a video and he's like that. Do you want to do the quiz quickly? Yeah. Sure. Buzz the noises, please.

Um, dog. Woof. Chubby. question number one what planet is closest to the sun dog woof mercury wrong correct woof what did you think it was

mercury what did you think it was venus saw mercury then venus saw the earth then mars saw j Jupiter, then Saturn, then Venus, and Neptune. And Pluto. What is the capital of Qatar? Dhabi.

Go. Doha. Correct. Beige. Question number three. In what US state Is the city Nashville Dog

Woof Texas Woof That was before Theodore No Tennessee Correct

One one one You're the only Ten I think One one one Right You've got a new Hair style today In the rain

Yeah I like it It looks good Babe It's kind of like yours But Could you babe Like eight times What was the most style today. In the rain. Yeah, I like it. It looks good. Babe. It's kind of like yours, but... Could you babe like eight times? What was the most popular girl's name in the UK? Sarah. Finish the thing.

If it's not. Incorrect. In 2023. Dog. Ooh. Wolf. Penelope. He said it.

It's obviously Lizzie. Lizzie? Charlotte? Incorrect. You're all back in. Well, I'm just guessing. Clue? Any letters?

Yeah, we need a clue, like. The clue will give it away. The first letter will give it away straight away. Wolf. Jessica. No. It can be, it's like a traditional name, but it obviously can be shortened as well.

It's like one of them. Like, you know, you said Lizzie, like you got Elizabeth Lizzie. It's kind of like that. Mate, there's so many names in the world. I really like the name. Oh, I know it. Dog.

Lily. No. No. What's that shortened for? Lillian. Like, you're thinking too outside the box i know it only because he said he i don't know any girls go i locked him before he's run out of time i think uh chubby uh in that case we'll go with five four three two catherine no uh woof is it amelia weird 5 4 3 2 Catherine no

woof is it Amelia no that's what you said you liked as a name it wasn't mate we're never gonna guess

give us the letter now oh no I thought that's what you said no you've had too many guesses it was Olivia oh oh well Liv

oh fuck of course oh Liv that isn't why I just I just really like the name that's not why no I actually just love the just I just really like the name That's not why No I actually just love the name

I just love it Favourite name in the world So that's still 111 What is the most populated city In Australia Chubby Woof Sydney

Correct 2-1-1 It's half Australian man That's not fair Going into the last question Yeah Which is worth a million points. What's the smallest planet in our solar system?

Chubby. Don't say it. Venus. Incorrect. Dog, I'm going to go with this, even though it's not the correct answer, but I think he thinks it's correct. Pluto.

Incorrect. Okay, good, because it's not. Then it has to be that, yeah. Earth. Incorrect. Chubby. Mercury. Correct. Oh, I thought. Then it has to be, yeah. Earth. Incorrect. Chubby. Mercury. Correct.

Oh, I thought he wouldn't do second answer. You think Earth? Maybe Mars is smaller than Earth. Yeah. You're dumb, dumb, bro. Theo wins. Reeves second. You're bottom again.

You owe three dances now. Oh, that was a trick question. Can I not just, like, suck you off instead? I'll tell you what. We can, we can... How about we do... You can take away my fines. No.

Lewis, next episode you should comb your hair. You're the men of. Oh, Lord. Please like and subscribe and Lewis will shave his head. Goodbye, everyone. That is horrendous. I learned to harden my heart. Leading me closer to my purpose.

Be patient with what's coming. Stories that heal. Share yours. Together, we are unsinkable. We are unsinkable.com. You made it to the end. Well done, you. If you haven't already, hit that follow button.

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