Back Side - Tom Gets DRUNK at the Darts! Theo Plays Against PREMIER LEAGUE TEAM! Lewis NEARLY Dies!

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram, where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. And it was this like tree branch was stuck out and I was like pelting it and I run head first and ran tree branch. He knocked himself out with a tree. I was on the ground shouting, man down! Would you class Scotland as international? I wouldn't.

It's abroad. It's not abroad though is it? It's not abroad. From an English perspective is it? It's a different nation. Brush upon your knowledge, this is like my secret talent, I'm finally good at a sport. I promise you, I was class a thronin'. Lou trying to boast that he's good at a skill that has never been proven by us as well. Yeah. This natural innate talent that nobody here has ever seen.

I've actually got an American football at home, should I bring it in next episode? Yes, please do. Bring it. I'll throw some gnarly spiral. Mid-football return. Hashtag United All-Stars versus the Premier League All-Stars. Galcim Monda, Jake Livermore, unit. Yeah.

But mate. You should say eight. Wayne Routledge, Troy Deany. Deany, was he stealing anyone? Guess who ran the show. We're trying to record, but they're just watching a video. Oh, are we already started? Yeah.

Sorry, I went for it. Hi guys, welcome back to Backside or Waffling. It is a really good video. Who's Heston James? You know the guy who goes, oh my God, what the fuck? And then he's got- Heston James You know guys, oh my god what the fuck! Heston Blumenthal's brother That would that doesn't make sense

It's not so Heston Blumenthal when you try and be funny it's cringe I saw him in the airport a few weeks ago. Who's Heston? Hair's looking good Lee. Heston Blumenthal. I've actually had a hair transplant. He's had a hair transplant looks like it No cut he said. That's what happens when I just like when I want to turn it on I can turn it on Can we talk about the elephant in the room? No, we need to answer his question. Heston Blumenthal is like the chef, the bald chef who does like really crazy. Tom. He invented triple cooked chips. He ends up with a fat duck and that duck base and all that shit.

Fat. Maybe one too many triple cooked chips I would say. He's not that fat. No, no, he looked really like sad. He was a massive... I didn't want to apparently. he looked really like sad. He was a massive... I didn't make him a cup of chips. You look sad. Apparently he was like a massive... A lot of chefs are. Really? Oh yeah, to get through the day. Really? Lauren... Lauren... Chef-ing. Chef-ing?

Pardon? Cooking. What? I swear a lot of Anyways, uh, yeah, basically on your phone. Yeah. Yeah, I'm never gonna finish my story, but who cares? No, I was actually interested. No, it's all right. What was the story? He was doing he went so long waffling. Oh, no one knows that though, because we were watching Hiss and James. It's because Joe might have malaria or yellow fever or Dungle fever. Or Dengue fever. Is he actually in a bad way now? He's actually getting tested for everything. He said it probably isn't malaria.

Did he not get injections? Yeah, but there's crazy shit in the mud out there, man. That is fucking, that's actually heavy. And to be fair, is it a case where if you live there, you have tolerances to stuff? I imagine so, yeah. We have a very different climate, don't we? You've been in and out of hospital last week. It's like you've got a tolerance to alcohol.

Some would say it's karma for cheating, but I don't know. I definitely fucking agree with that. So what, has Luke caught it as well then? No, Luke's just on holiday. I've seen Luke's story, he was in Spain, I was like, but the thing was that I was waffling. He was twice last week, but then Joe had to leave halfway through the first episode. Because he was ill? Yeah.

Jesus. And then, um... What was he doing? Was he like, Team America Projectile Vomiting? No, go on then, Lee, what's on your head? This is the scars of war. Did you win the pot of cup? Don't tell me.

No, please again. I don't think we should give away the ending strip at the start, no? You fall one down. There's a story to be told. Okay, you, take me from the beginning please. How have you ended up with a face wound and five broken ankles and a broken finger? Yeah, so I do have... Start to finish please.

I have a f**k knee, I've rolled my ankle about five times. How can you roll your ankle playing golf? Don't bring the knee up again mate, we've had that too much on this. How can you roll your ankle playing golf? Scratches and bruises all over my legs, I've got a broken finger. What? Broken finger? My head's been done my legs. I've got a broken finger. What? You've got a broken finger?

My head's been done in, yeah. Have you got a broken finger? I'll throw an American football and then I went to catch it. We've seen how far we could throw it and he's like threw it really long. It was a really good spinner but I misdrinked the catch. Because you lied about your basketball experience and that coordination. He snubbed his finger. No, genuinely, I figured out and I went into it, like throwing, I'm throwing one properly

in ages. I'm hit a spiral in a while. I went into it, I was like, what if this is like my secret talent, I'm finally good at a sport, mate, throwing it, I swear to God, that was the best throw around, like, it's because of basketball, it's the swish. Yeah, yeah. The problem is the catcher. No, it's not because you throw it to the side.

Also, the action of throwing The problem is the catcher. It's not because you throw it to the side. I was sort of going like that. The action of throwing a basketball is not even remotely close to a fucking bowl. I promise you, I was class a throwing it. I don't disagree with that, but it's not similar to throwing a basketball. Sorry, transferable skill. Is Lou trying to boast that he's really good

at throwing an American football? I think that's a good thing to boast about. It feels good when you get a sick spiral, dude. Also, Lou trying to boast that he's good at a skill that has never been proven by us as well. Yeah. Oh, this natural innate talent that nobody here has ever seen. I mean, like his basketball ability that we saw in the queue.

Should we go outside? I've actually got an American football at home. Should I bring it in next episode? Yes, please do. Bring it in. I mean, I'll throw some gnarly spiral. Well, it'll be spiral city in here, but there's not enough room here because I'll throw it far.

Oh, but you're fine room. here because I'll throw it far. We can go outside. Yeah, let's go. You can thread the needle. But the problem is like catching it, I'm not really good coordination in that. So rather than catching it, it would more like the ball would just hit me. But surely if you're good at basketball, that's transferable skills, you can catch the ball. Oh, I broke my fingers all the time in basketball, look at that.

Surely if you're good at basketball, the catching aspect is a lot easier than throwing the American football. No, no, you wouldn't know, bro. Oh, yeah, no, you weren't there. You don't do gnarly spiral. You don't blaze zutes. You don't do gnarly spirals. You got a lot of them. Were you blazing up? No, but I have in the past.

You know I'm the zuta. I'm the zura on the podzua. Can I ask why you took the Potter Cup international? International? Scotland? Oh, you already went abroad. Oh, have you? Yeah, we went to like, where was it? Spain? That's where I hit the pot at 17. Oh, was it in Spain?

I thought it was in England. That was originally what it was. Is Scotland international? No, no, like an international, like they'd use it as an excuse to go abroad. They only did it last year because of... No, no, no, the first place in the world for golf... But moving forward, we're trying to use it as a holiday. But like, oh, this year we're...

Would you class Scotland as international? I wouldn't. It's abroad. It's not abroad though, is it? It's not abroad. By definition... It's not. By definition it's not abroad. I mean, it's neither international, it's in the UK. Yeah.

But from an English perspective, is it? It's a different nation. I don't think Scotland is international. I think they class themselves, class themselves. You don't need a passport. You don't need a passport to get into Scotland, mate. It Scotland is international. I think they class themselves. You don't need a passport. You don't need a passport to get into Scotland, mate. Not international. Yeah, right, sorry.

But I'm talking about from an objective of life. He's gone to a different country. Sorry, I didn't mean, I didn't mean our case. Just make sure you get the fucking terminology right. Yeah, yeah, it's okay. But just fucking brush up on your knowledge. But also Scottish courses are very different to English courses as well. Oh yeah.

Very hilly. I should say, yeah, so anyways, I broke my finger because it just, I couldn't catch the ball very well. Sorry guys, I was talking from a golf perspective. I broke a man's finger in my time. It's not a bad brick, it's like, it's on the knuckle here. He's broken his finger so bad he can bend it. You can always bend it, it just hurts.

When I broke my finger I couldn't bend it. Yeah, you're a bitch bro. I'm fucking solid. And they also didn't do a great job of spraining it. He's right, you were right. I just played five, four games of golf on a no ACL in Meniscus. I'm bitch ass cool. That was freaking G.

It's a good thing your left knee was injured, not your right, because you wouldn't be able to turn into it if you were. Yeah. I should say that this year's Pot of Cup is covered in controversy. As opposed to the last one where you just bottled it. No, I'm on about proper controversy where there was a time where like the house was quite separated. Oh no. There was arguments.

There was some, oh. Is that why you got punched in the face? Some really bad shit went down. With a golf club. What like, so we should say. Nonsense. Well, that's just the start of it. We should say that like pot of cups, like it's a four, three day tournament.

You have a practice round first, so it's like first, three day tournament. You have a practice round first though. So it's like first day. Then practice round. You have to dial in. It's talking like it's the fucking right. And then you split into two days of match play. So you have a two V two and a one V one. And then those teams have to alternate the second day. 18 holes, 18 holes. All the 18 holes always. And you have to, you know, you don't do 36 in a day.

No, he was going higher. You were going, well, no, we're not going to play. No, you got to be, you got to be fresh. You got to be fresh. You got to be fresh. Um, so it's a bit tactical there cause you had to choose your matchups and it was day one. You pick the partnerships for the yeah. Yeah. So you spin and you can pick your matchups. So who picked you first there? You're on your own. I went one V1. I went one V1 against Len. Oh my God. So they've gone wrong. We're not taking Lewis this time. No, I don't know. Our tactics of going in was, right lads,

I'm probably is going to be really shit because I'm played golf since the last pot cup and I'm injured. So why don't you use the two good players or the two better players, go on the TV too. You win all 18 of them and I'll lose all 18 and we'll be nil nil. But I ended up only three down on match with 18, which I was really happy about.

And they ended three up, nil nil after day one. She worked, can't work. Yeah, yeah, good tactic. Brilliant, by the way, because before we were eight down after the first day last year. Okay, now. Really bad. Lost pretty much every other home. How shitty was that?

Yeah, by the way, we had definitely like the worst team life. So really the only good thing going about your team was actually the kit you had. How many T-times have you got? Are you going out in fours still? So there's two T times here, so it's like a 1v1 and then a 2v2. It's a 2v2. Final data on 3 1v1s. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 3v3. Oh, I thought you had one.

Do you just go around? Is there a picture? I assume there's people. I thought you had at least 10 of you to make it kind of cool. Whoa, that's not very pottery. So on the one... Sorry, that's not very pottery. So on... Sorry, that's the other side of you. To be pottery is to be, you know, honorable and respectful.

Yeah, we get it. So on the 1v1, what do the other four do? So they're playing a 2v2 behind us on a different tee. Right. So it's like the best score out of that two, it goes against the best score of the other two, and that wins the whole. Whereas mine's a 1v1.

You know, in the 1v1, you know, normally you're all in like a group scenario, is there ever like a 1v1 where you're not actually that close to that guy? Because you're only friends because of the group. No it's not because it's only like six of us like everyone's pretty close and we play in the pot of cup every year. Or was it awkward? No. There's a lovely round of golf. Do you speak to each other? Could I see you against each other? Yeah so there is a bit each other? Yeah, so there is a bit of there is no there is a bit of like Wait, you surely wouldn't go a full round of 18 when you're only with one of the person just be silent When Rory won the Masters I like say that it feels very on the money here.

I know and I'm not saying, what I'm saying is you're a freak then if you do that. You're going to wear holiday in four hours of your entire trip you've gone, right, I'm just going to be silent and play golf. I'm known to be a big talker. And when that's my shit it's going to be so miserable. Mate, you've got to look in. No, I'm known to be a big talker because I like to get in the heads and like one up. So like, for example, there's Cal on team said field who refute, who asked like his one request was to his team, like, don't let me go on a one V one against Lewis. Cause

every time I rattled him and he just ends up hitting like way too many. How can you talk to them while you're trying to get your ball out the bushes? They're up a fair way. But like somebody for three. So we go into day two and by the way, Oh, confidence is high. I'm hitting my irons pure. My injury not hold me back too much. I'm feeling good. Is this your practice round? How did you practice round? Practice round? I was pretty shit. And we walked off the night. You're not using your driver at all. You're teeing up with the irons because your knees. Just go on irons. But irons are pure and straight. That's why you're playing well, mate. You just had the driver. Yeah. And the driver in the back. New grip, the knee was feeling good. Short game

was beast mode. And it was day two. Some lads were, there grip the Lee was feeling good. Shot game was beast mode and it was dear to some lads. Well, there was murmurs the night before. I'll just say quickly. Sorry. It's got to be easy to cheat in this. It's against the potter. It's very pot. No, sorry. Yeah, we should see a rule. If you cheat, you instantly lose the particle. Yeah, that's like that was the point.

You make my point. How would you know they've rule. Okay, okay, you're missing my point. You're missing my point. How would you know they've cheated? Oh, I'm glad you actually said that. There's cameras. They hire entire film crew to do that whole thing. They've got patrons lining every hole. They've got hundreds of patrons lining every hole. There's definitely people with balls in their pockets

going, I found my ball. No, but also, if you were doing that, then you wouldn't claim to do like drop a 17 would you? That's in front of everyone though. But that goes against the golf club doesn't it really? Yeah. Well you don't cheat when you're on your own do you? Well some teams are more, no but some teams are more honorable than others. I don't cheat in general golfers because then you won't get better but I have been known to cheat in sport and if it's as serious as they're saying I'm liable to drop a ball or two. He cheated in weightlifting as well. That's fucking... Yeah, you've got to get up there.

Oh yeah, Sarah's in my asshole. We should see it on the trophy. It says win with honor, lose with dignity. It says that on your thing. It says on the trophy. Obviously, that's what I'm talking about. I'm not the manifesto. That's an incredible Hogwarts thing.

Carry on, so you're pure in your eye. Day two, Cornwall's number one. Your cock's feeling pretty hard. Hang on a sec, stay in day one here. No, you tell you off at what time? We've done day one. I don't know about the antics after this. No, that's...

The after today... To be fair, afterwards is where I'm going to be. I'm going to be in the final. I'm going to be in the final. I on, stay in day one here. We've done day one! I don't know about the antics after this. To be fair, afterwards is where I sustain the injury. Go on then, what were we in that for? Have you ever played sardines? Yeah, haven't played sardines. In pitch black? And why you were naked?

If you haven't played sardines, essentially it's hide and seek but in reverse. So one person hides, everyone seeks, but when you find them, you have to hide with them in that combined space. Did you turn all the lights off and go dark mode? We didn't go dark mode in the house, but outside was dark mode. But the house we were in, it was like... You played sardines outside. So, no, there's a big garden.

It had like loads of trees in it. There was a garden on the other side. It was like a lovely house that we had, right? In like a big farmer's field. It was class. And it was a play. And I'm like sprinting around looking for someone. I'm like, I'm sure that sprinting around.

Cause I'm like, they're in these fucking trees and the, oh yeah, it's silly. Like, but like the numbers were dwindling and I'm like, I'm the last one here. I'm like, where the fuck are they? I'm running around and it was this like tree branch was stuck out and I'm like pelting it and I fucking run head first into the tree brand. Oh my God. It's not even a cool story. Knocked me to the ground.

He knocked himself out with a tree. Problem is, he knocked you out? No, I was on the ground shouting, man down, man down. Like the thing is, one down. Are you hammered at this point? Yeah, hammered, but everyone's hiding. Did you know you were bleeding on the floor? No, I'd just been fucking knocked out.

By the way, it's really close to your eye. Oh dear, you're lucky. It's bad luck. That's how I got my scar. But I was like four. I ran into a climbing frame. But that's why I'm laughing. I haven't had an injury like this since I was literally a child. You had it a bit more centrally. Maybe Harry Potter. I got a little. Also might have knocked some senses. Yeah. That's why I'm really logical. Is that, is that where this fashion sensors come from? Yeah. It's some fashion sensors. No, so So I was a little bit. So that was just not like that. Gave up on the game and wondered if I'm going to die or not. The thing is like, everyone's hiding.

So I eventually did. They went to bush down there, but they weren't coming to help me because they were sardining. Yeah. They played the game properly. Yeah. What the fuck happened to your face? Imagine if you died and they were just in the bush.

I wouldn't blame them. They can't come out. It might have been a trap. You would have fell over your head. Could have hit a rock on the floor and died. I'm not good like. That'd have been great. Funny though.

So what happened after the blood? I quit kept playing sardines and I just had blood dripping down. Can I ask how many, how many bevs you had on day one? Oh, we were like, the team fish burns the fun team. Were you drinking during the... Yeah, I asked him how it was going and he had a pint in hand. Smiler? Smiler, yeah we call him Smiler.

Can you Scottish beer that? I drink when I'm abroad but I can't fit them in my bag too well because my bag's broke so I don't really drink on the ground. So I just neck them. If you drink you'll lose. I don't play better with it. Smiler loosens up. Yeah, yeah. I need to stay dialed in.

Folks, I'm going to go. Okay, so then, so that happens day one. Are you even pints at the clubhouse afterwards? You just straight back to your house. We have a pint and some food, but the fucking actually, yeah, we'll get onto that as well. The little unpottery twats. Unpottery. Right.

Who the club? So day two comes around, right? On the evening of day one, whilst drunk, we were talking about the potential of buggies. We were like really, it was very hilly course. And we're like, we're talking about, maybe, maybe we were talking about the potential of buggies we were like really it was very hilly course and we're like we're talking about maybe maybe not why would you not get buggies yeah that's because expensive and I know in potters in the masters you don't get a book a buggy it's about the physical challenge it's a three day 18 hole golf tournament no yeah that's a fair point that's a very fair point physical challenge golf now we all agreed, bar two people,

no buggies on the morning. Even me, my legs were killing. Ryan's leg was fucked as well, on Team Sedgefield, but two Team Sedgefield members really wanted a buggy. Oh. Against rules. Oh, all right, okay. Ryan goes in, tells them, says,

it's an 18-stroke penalty if you fucking get buggies, you cheat and twats. Hey, whoa, calm down. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. In the pro shop, he's saying that. And he's in there, he said it more polats. Oh, hey, we'll come in that And he's in there he doesn't he said it more politely, okay I didn't when I you're fucking little prick you got a boogie me you lose by 18 So no, I need on their team so he comes out and Ryan's more the sensible one. I compare him to you reef Okay, he's like you all right the nerd and on road And on Roy. Tell that back.

Ryan's visibly very angry as I can see on my nose. And he's on their team. That is team made by the way. He's getting heated on that. Ryan's the founder father of the Pot of Cups as well. Who actually are the founder fathers? Me, Scott, on my team and then Ryan. So hot.

Why did you not just create one team? No, because it started because we were playing GTA golf in lockdown. And then we used to have like tee times on GTA golf. And if you like missed the tee time, you weren't allowed to. Yeah, you shouldn't have said that. No, you don't say you weren't allowed in to play. We had tee. Yeah, these are the these are definitely the cool ones. Play golf on GTA.

Turn them down from the lobby. So fun, man. Anyway, like PJ too. So I go in and I obviously say you're going to fucking ruin the whole thing if you give us 18 shots by doing this stop being dickheads and they're like We're we're I was like all they're really do my head and come out anyways It's not like you to get wound up over not getting your own way. No they They got the buggy. Everyone was fucking livid at them. Like they did get it. They got it the cheating fat twats So you should so you know the body shape so as a person it's not I'm talking about the body I'm

talking about their the inability to walk up hills for two so as a person lazy so as a person that horrendously enforces rules you've obviously said you're in shots down so this is the diamond so Oh, he's bowled it! No, so this is our lemma. So who's won then? So we don't know who's won? So my head's gone. Smiler's a bit more easy going, but he's annoyed. But Scott and Ryan's head, absolutely gone. They go off on their one ball, their head, and they're just playing like we don't even care.

Now it's 18 shots, it's over. And I messaged Scott and Team Fishbone came together and we thought, do you know what? Can I ask? We want to win on even playing ground. You can have the advantage. Can I actually keep saying names and I don't know who's on whose team here.

So who's Fishburn? You have Lenny and Cal. Lenny and Cal who got no names. Lenny and Cal? What the fuck? What am I supposed to name those? The Simpsons? One of them is in the corner tending to the rabbit.

They're known as the pub. Lenny and Cal are mine. They're known as the bub, Lenny and Cole and Moe. They're known as the boogie brigade now. And then you have Ryan. They're Sedgefield. They're the cheating twats. And they're Fishburne. No, Sedgefield.

You're Fishburne. Fishburne would never cheat. Okay, and then your team is you. Scott and Smiler. I know what Lewis is about to say, by the way. He's about to say, we want to win with honour. We do. We let them not have 18 shots.

We didn't want the tournament to be over on day two We wanted we wanted Being what were you level going into the we were level and we like to know what we actually gonna have a close pot Cup here and force was then go 18 shots up You've solved ruined the tournament if we let this what you should have done is ignore their scores or just kick them out No, we could we could have cut that we could have disqualified them We could have taken a shot and then we could have disqualified them. We could have taken 18 shots. Then we could have, we went on that day.

They only won by like a couple holes. Oh, so you were in the ending. No, on that day. On that day too. They only won in the 2v2 against us, despite having buggies and all the advantages, being able to drive up and see the hole. I know our buggy does, yeah, yeah, no, it's fine.

I would say, you saying you want to win with honour, sounds awfully like you were just a pushover. Yeah. No, I think if you're there, you would understand it was actually very honorable what we did. I actually do agree because it's not fun, is it? If you're angry in shock. You're playing with no purpose. But you shouldn't have argued in the first place.

Let them just get a bug in, play on. No, because that's not the rules. But the argument didn't cause anything. Nothing happened from it. No, it did cause it. No, my point is nothing happened. What do you mean? As in like they didn't get a penalty. They just carried on. But in our situation it's like, right, we either win against the cheaters despite their cheating and we have a good time or even if they do happen to beat us, they've cheated

and you're going to have to fucking hold that. Yeah. Yeah. And then it's no fun for them, is it? Like they want to actually play competitively and have fun, like it's no fun if you're 18 shots ahead. So you've taken the moral victory at least. Yeah, because that's what Team Fisherman do. What we do best is lose with dignity, really. And it's on the toilet. What you do best is lose with dignity though.

We do it with dignity, no matter what. We end that day, they were only one shot up on us on match play, despite having the buggy and cheating, little twat Leisure losing of dignity Ryan has a storm and hits like 94. So he he's pretty good. Yeah, it was Ryan's their Ryan's their a player with our player. No, but just if it's that I used to be up there. I'm not now But that it's Scott and Ryan are like the messy versus Ronaldo.

And Scott ended down, but it's like, it's okay. We go in the final day, we're like four shots down, but we go home and it kicks off big time, like around the boogie. So what did you lose day two by? What did you, you and your partner? Only one down, match player. Oh, and then he lost by three?

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Can I explain, tell me how it kicks off? Well, so, so Lenny's driving one of the cars. Scott and Ryan both refused to get in the front seat, not sitting with that twat. Cars? To the course? Yeah, so Lenny's driving, but to go back to the thing.

Oh, you got to get out of the BMW, aren't they? They're not sitting in the front seat. Behind the car? Nah, they just drove up. But it's like, just constantly passed them. Oh, Newcastle, yeah, that kind of thing. So not sitting in the front seat. Drive to Scotland.

Not talking to them. They come in and there was a few jibs and jives. There was a lot of tension in the house. Yeah, I not sitting in the front seat. Drive to Scotland. Not talking to them. They come in and there was a few jibs and jives. There was a lot of tension in the house. Yeah, I can imagine. Cheating, getting thrown around. And spoken as well. Then after their hard round of going in the buggies, driving, they went for like a four hour nap.

And we had a team meeting as Team Fishburne and we thought the only way that they can make this up is for them to go out in the field and put golf the golf bags on and walk 10,000 steps because then they don't actually know about compromise that they don't have the physical advantage going in the day. Yeah, 10,000 steps. They obviously didn't do it. Well, there was some time there was there was possible we talked about, you know, suspended them from the tournament for next year. There was like serious consequences. Three v one next year. I could draft other people in, I'm gonna have to deal with it. And it was...

You look a lot like Bryson DeChambeau. What's going on here? Anyways, Ryan, team captain, goes to talk to team Sedgfield once they finally woke up. They didn't take too kindly to our terms and there was like a real awkwardness and rift and they sort of came down to the hot tub and they were just sat there and we all just sat there really awkwardly and was like... What naked? Yeah. Oh, and then what happened?

Well eventually we bullied them into apologizing because they were... I'm on cue. I just want to hear your opinion. Do you think they were in the wrong? Yes. Yeah, 100%. If they're the rules, they're the rules. They were saying they weren't in the wrong and it was really pissing me off.

I don't know how you could conceivably... In a sport where rules are so important, yeah. And you've drawn it out before. I don't know, it doesn't matter. If you've set out, I mean, I imagine how fucking anal you are, especially you. It's the Potter Corp. And how you talk about this fucking stupid- Whoa!

Sorry, about this really serious cup. I imagine you lay the rules out very clearly beforehand. But does it say no buggies in the law? In the Potter Corp. I'm not the only one enforcing the rules. Everyone agrees. Have you written them down in a book? We have a manifesto of the overall details. The buggies will be determined, depending on the tournament.

On holiday and on Span, we use the buggies because it's too fucking hard. Absolutely, yeah, that makes sense. As a person, well, people that have played a lot of golf, the difference between walking and carrying your clubs and taking a buggy is tremendous. It was more, it was more not known the course. You walk out, you hit a shot, you get back in. You get no energy.

So they make it up to us, they do an apology of both of them. We get them very drunk and get them to do lots of drinks as apologies. And we just move forward onto the final day. You're going for the hangover play. Yeah. Rather than that. Well, I was hungover. It's just them drinking. We were hungover. Team Fishpens hungover. Should have made them take a lot of drugs. They did. No drugs to the pot cup. That's not pottery. What?

That's not pottery. That's fucking... Final day's stroke. We go into that. It's like, look. Who are you against? I'm against Ryan, who's their A-Star player. That's fucking... Final day of stroke, we go into that and it's like look... But who are you against? I'm against Ryan who's their A-star player. Oh you're back to one on one now? Yeah but in stroke play as well. So it doesn't technically matter if I'm... I need to just stay close to him.

If I can stay close to Ryan... Yeah because it's a collective score of the group. Essentially if I can stay close to Ryan we're in a really good place because I'm probably our worst player at the moment. Then you get a good gauge of where you are as a team. Yeah but if I'm only like 10 strokes of Ryan, we might gain that elsewhere. Yeah. Yeah. Smiler and Cal's similar levels. Scott and Lenny, Scott's better. Yeah, of course. Of course. Ryan's having an absolute fucking shocker.

He shoots a hundred and eleven. Oh my God. And he's their best one. Best player. Hits a hundred and eleven. How tough was the course? Wasn't tough, but stroke play day really, really does. Yeah, just take a few holes in. No, big bees are not before as well, doesn't help. You're a master manipulator, so you're in his, you've got in the-

You were laughing the hell out of me. No, I would have gotten his head, but I hit 140. Oh, well that's good though. Wait, you've just said you wanted to be within 10, you're in three. I'm within three of them. Yeah, that's insane. But the thing is, I should have beat him,

because like my irons didn't go how they were and in like the final three holes I gained six shots on him alone. Like I was starting to finally get my irons going. Yeah. But it was too late. Anyways, oh fucking Scott beats Lenny by I think like 10 strokes. Oh, so you four up as a group. Four up as a group.

So we think we're good, right? But that's level then isn't it? Because you were four back from the previous day. Yeah, I think we're pretty good. But then you're seven up. I't it? Because you were four back from the previous day, now you're level. But maybe seven up. I can't remember. No, because he lost by three. Yeah.

The other bloke won by 10, so it'd be seven up. I can't remember. But they were, and they were full-bound. The way the scores worked is, going off what Cal hit, Smiler just needed to hit what I hit. He needed it 140 or less. And there's a rule in the Pluck up that a hole in one wins you it no matter what on any of the days one wins.

Last hole, par three, Smiler steps up. I've never seen something closer to a hole in one in my life, it just trickles around the back. And he was finding out his score, really tense moment. Smiler by the way, has been fitted with new clubs, bought new clubs, cause last year he hit 117 and lost us the pot cup. He was a bit angry. And we bullied him all year to try and get better.

And he did get really better. Broke 100 for the first time. Nice. Hit 120. That's my guy. What did his playing partner get then? Oh, he got like 109. We'd lost.

But how many? By five strokes. You lost again. Lost again. I think he's starting to give you Lewis. What the fuck man? Yeah, they cheated I mean, yeah, technically with the 18 strokes you actually won by 13. Yeah, but the annoying bit Oh, yeah, it's just fucking shit. So I'm a bit depressed. So what how do you roll your ankle five times? I just kept walking around and rolling it. All right the hills.

Wow, so you're still a fucking big giant loser. We've lost, I think we lost three years in the role now. No, four one. There's no coming back from that, is there really? But we lose the dignity. Remontada. Jeez, man. Yeah, you're going to need a boss.

We should have a backside club. England lost soccer eight, like, 10 years in a row, man. Do you know what? You should have a backside club. I agree. I'll keep showing. We should do a backside England lost Sockrade like 10 years in a row man. Do you know you have a backside club? I agree. I'll keep saying we should play do a golf Create the Malfoy Cup, right? Why is it all about you? It's a pot of cup. It's not the character in Harry Potter Why is it all about you? Oh, we didn't do it for Harry Potter. Why is Malfoy about? Dumbledore Cup, I was named after Stoke City, not Harry Potter. Yeah we could do a backslide cup and we draft a player in each or something.

That would be a good idea. Do like a 4v4. That would be fucking beast mode. That would be beast mode. I'll have Sergio at the end of the month though. He booked it in? 29th. Yeah it's in the calendar isn't it?

Wait, what the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the It's a proper thing, yeah. A pricey one. Yeah. Why did you go somewhere cheaper? Because do you know what? I was on hold and then you just sent me confirmation through saying it's all booked in. I was like, and you sent me loads of shit through.

I was like, I didn't tell you to block this in, but now that you've done it. Was that your last period of drinking before the surgery now then? Yeah, I'm not going to drink. I don't, I'm done with drinking as well. You don't want to go for part later or the arse again?

No, I'm proper done for drinking now. I'll go with you later. I'll go with you later. No, I'm actually quitting. It's mainly because you used to, like the nights before. Don't blame me. Point at me. I'll go with you later. Well, I'm actually quitting. It's mainly because it used to like the nights before. Don't blame me. Point at me. It's your fault.

Nah, I've been drinking way too much. It's actually, I just feel like a fucking loser. Yeah. Wait, Lewis, so what do you mean you booked in your surgery? Like it's what date? 29th. And what are they doing to it? Reconstructing it?

Don't know. What do you think they're going to do? Cut it up and stuff. I don't actually know what they're doing. Do they give you like any, like how long it's going to be out for, what the vibe is? There's a vibe. What do you mean? The vibe in the surgery. So it's a real chill vibe. You know what really relaxed about what we do here. Are you staying overnight? No, hope not because it'll charge me another four grand. The hospital fee is 9,000 pound. The surgery is two grand. No, 1,500 pound for the surgery, two grand for the surgeon fee,

nine grand for the hospital fee. I'm not even staying over. The fucking absolute like robbers. That is dialogue robbery. You've gone private haven't you? Well you did go to the, you went to where the footballers and Johnny Depp goes, mate. That's where you sent me?

No we didn't. Oh, the same place he got MRI of when I was there. No way. Oh, that's a fucking spinny little journey. You shouldn't have gone there. You were just... No, well, I don't know, because I only went to the... When I got an MRI, Johnny Depp was in there, but you just said he's the same...

I just assumed that was the same place. That's where Johnny Depp went! We had this story on backside. That was there. I don't know. I presume if that's where he goes for his MRIs. That's where he goes for his MRIs. In England, yeah, probably. I don't know if it is the same thing.

It's literally like a smack bang in Harley Street. No, it's not the same place. Okay. I'm not Johnny Depp. Anyway, so you've had a fucking eventful weekend. You had a big week of drinking. I had a big week of drinking as well. Yeah, me too. you had a big week of drinking. I had a big week of drinking as well. Yeah, you had a big week of drinking.

Me too. But yours was, half of yours was very valid. You were at a wedding. I had a wedding and the darts. Yeah. Wedding and the f***ing beast match. Darts are so good. What was it good?

This one. So good. You had a table, right? Emma sorted, lived with a table with the friends and family. Felt like the VIP but it was so f***ing good. That's the one where you don't even have to go up to the bar and get the drinks. Oh my God, it's relentless.

Table service. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's the best way to do it. Was right by the walk on the line. I felt like a little fanboy and like, it was like the blazer coming up. I'm like, Rock on. Rock on.

It's me and my Tops. Rock on. Uh, the quality of the darts, not the best night, I will admit, but we won money on bets, which was very good. First ever in Prem history. What? Five nights.

Luke. What do you mean? Littler. He's the first ever to do five nights. Oh yeah, I mean, yeah, he won it with a lack of quality from others. Well, I thought bunting should have beaten him. Yeah, the crowd wasn't great either because of the lack of quality. There wasn't a load of 180s.

Yeah. There wasn't many nine-dollar attempts. It was a bit, uh, so, but we still had fun. Uh, the wedding was cool. Pretty cool. Uh, and then we obviously had a good few nights last week. That's true. Did we talk about that?

Yes. Uh, no, we spoke about, we spoke about the night before retrospectively, cause we did the whole curry thing. Yeah. Can we talk about your episode of the Come Stag? Oh no, we haven't. We haven't spoke about the night before retrospectively, because we did the whole curry thing. Can we talk about your episode of The Come Stag? Oh, no, we haven't. We haven't spoken about it. That's next episode.

That's next episode. Oh, crap. We can talk about the hashtag game, though, which you played. Oh, yeah. How did you play? You made your football return. We're set it up, Theo. So what was this game?

It was a hashtag, you know... What does that mean? All right. Hashtag, you know, All Stars versus the Premier League All Stars. Oh, so you actually played for hashtag? I did. No, not even. The all stars.

Yeah, against the Premier League all stars. Who's the Premier League all stars? Some good names actually. That's Gautam Monda. Oh, nice. He still plays, doesn't he? He's good. Good centre half. Jate Livermore? Fucking unit. That fucking useless twat. I hate him.

No sound, but he's a big big big big boy Wayne Routledge did Liverpool complete a pass to one of his own players or do you just keep passing it to the other team? he does that a lot. Deeney? Troy Deeney yeah. Was he spearing anyone? Ball was legend? Bentley? Crouchy was the manager. Oh, who's the Danny Arrows on the old bloke in the paddy on the adverts, the betting adverts with like the glasses, Greybeards, like, oh, Ray Winston. Ray Winston. Yeah, he wasn't the manager. He was just an everything. It was meant to have Yaya Tori and Joe Colbert.

They didn't turn up for some reason. Guess who ran the show. Well, I know the answer. One of them players was just one of the ones he's listening. Yeah, Bentley for answer. One of them players was just so good. One of the ones he's listening. Bentley, for sure. Fucking hell. This guy is so good.

Yeah, Bentley's a fucking ball. Mate, he's in good shape. He just ran it. He was the guy. But no, but he ran it without running. Yeah, it was unbelievable. I couldn't believe how good he still was. I'm not surprised in the slightest.

He's a foot as well. They're different levels. 40 minutes, all I did was run. We didn't touch the ball. Which is a… Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm levels. 40 minutes, all I did was run.

Yeah. We didn't touch the ball. Which is interesting for a man that's been horrendously injured off the back of Boston Marathon and managed 60 minutes in a football match. Oh, yeah. Because you couldn't even come out with us for a beer because you were so fucking injured from Boston.

Yeah, hurt at the end. Well, I can fucking imagine, mate, if you're running on an injury and played two-thirds of the game. I only started hurting at 55 you're running on an injury and played two thirds of the game. I only started hurting like 55 minutes in. Were you on painkillers? Very specific. Yeah, he checked the clock. It's hurting now. I'm in at 55. I checked his gob. They went one and up and I was like fucking hell lads, it's over. We're going to get beat 8-0. Oh wow. Actually I'm not going to reveal the result actually. But it wasn't

8-0. It was live stream wasn't it? Oh it's out next week? Yeah. Oh I think I can remember. We've got an ep out today. It was livestreamed, it's in the past. Not livestreamed. Was it not? No it's a video coming out this week. Oh sorry, I thought it was streamed.

See it anyway, it's because I'll cut it out otherwise. One or down, here we go. I can't touch the ball, minutes 10. What minute do they score? Early doors, 5 to 10 minutes maybe I think. So were all the players X-Prem or not? Yeah a lot of, I'd say 90% of their team was exprem Yeah, so so who with the others?

His game he organized is every year, okay, I do have that make sense with the players playing. Yeah Here we go. Hang on one second. Boise. Boise. Boise. Maybe she's trying to do with like a beast mode thing. These Boise. Boise beast mode. It reminds me of white gold that Boise. Me and him going. Oh, Darren Ben was Danny Simpson. He played. Oh, fucking hell. Henry Lansbury. Fuck him. Bradley Johnson. Bradley Johnson. Because when you saw him at Ballers League the other day you shit your pants. He saw me and he ran away.

Who, Simpson? No Lansbury. He always says he hates Lansbury. He was at Ballers League the other week. Walk Pasteur. I don't think he's got a player in his life. Yeah, yeah. He's shaved his head now.

Now if I go back to Balls League he's going to fucking have trouble with me. Is he? I bet he's terrified. I don't know what he looks like now. Bradley Johnson was a blast. You look like you've been through it. Yeah, he could have. He's got a worldy. Left foot in it, yeah. He's got an absolute fucking world. Oh, that's what it it. Yeah, well a worldy left foot

Absolute fucking well, that's what it was. He scored a worldy. We hadn't touched the ball He's fucking done a 35-yard top corner. I brilliant who's in goal for you National League keeper. All right, and then no Andy came played second half. But yeah, it's a national league keeper. I'm pretty beast mode And then I got dragged off 20 minutes It was roll on roll off. I couldn't touch more. Performance based on tactics. It was half a shot.

Yeah, performance based on tactics. In fairness though, if you're just running around you do need it. Yeah, I was blowing up my arse. Was one of your first 20 minute highlights you taking a throw in or not? I did do a beast mode throw though. I couldn't believe I fired through it. Okay, well fuck instant man. Anyway, come back on around half hour, Mark. Not Meg David Bentley.

You come back on after 10 minutes? Yeah. Alright, fuck you know that is roll on roll on. Yeah, roll on roll on. Not Meg David Bentley. I said, close your legs son. Did you though? Yeah, I did actually.

Oh did you? Yeah. After he went, why do I still not believe that? I don't believe you said that. You did! I think it was way more polite. What did he say to you? Close your legs mate!

He turned around and started like after, ah fuck you little cheeky cat! He was laughing like this, I went, close your legs son, yeah, bunt, bunt. Oh. Basically I turned into the prime R9 after that. Oh right, okay. I went for a period of like 10, 15 minutes

when I came back on the right. Okay, yeah. I went super double beast mode. It was crazy. Yeah. Remember Dennis Burr camps turning against Arsenal? Yeah, it's not doing that. Turning against Arsenal. I swear on the holy mother of all Lords, right?

When you see this. I'm gonna need to see the footage. Tom, I fucked it. He just kicked it out of play. That fucked it. Did it. Keepers saved my shot. Wait, who have you spanned?

This would have been a top five Haskell goal of all time. Who have you spanned to do that have you spanned to do that? Pascal Chimbonda. That's pretty good. That is cool. You know when you do something and you're like, conveniently hasn't made the edit. I did it. We will see this footage though. A guy with a reactor that highlights again. Sucker into bite off. It's going to be a fears amazing. As much as I do want to believe it, and I do think you have that in you, you have done this to us before, and I don't know if I believe this. I feel like this might be a miscontrol. No, no, no. I didn't expect myself to pull this off. That's why I think it might have been an accident. No, you can see I'm purposely not doing it.

It's a ball's plate. Imagine this is the box, like this. I'm the goal. I'm facing this balls plate. Imagine this is the box like this. I'm on the goal. I'm facing this away for edge of the box. You've got the way you've just described. That is a random ball. Balls crossed in from the left hand side. It's come over my head, touch like that, split the defenders and I'm one on one with the keeper.

And you spin round. And it fucking saves it. Okay. Anyway, yeah. Go on and carry on. Fuming, I shit myself. Absolute shit myself. That's the weird thing to do in the football match. Oh yeah. Anyway, you know how it goes.

Rich Beck, Bush, header one all. Who? From a corner. Rich Beck. Man Mountain. Man Mountain, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, second half goes, I'm back on now. I come off at half time, going back on like 20 minutes to play. Again, praying pretty fucking, pretty fucking well lads, I can't lie.

And I steal the ball in the 90th minute off, I think it was Livermore, Danny Simpson. Shock Livermore. One of them. One of them. Nab it. And I start sprinting towards the goal. Here we go. We'll be the judge of that.

Yeah. Yeah. It's me and the defender, me and the defender sprinting. And this is where you either go alone. You play the perfect pass at the right time. You went alone because there's no, there's no chance you're passing. Edge of the box. Pass to my left. In the path of Jay Devereux's son. He's the manager's son. The manager's son in our mate perfectly weighted pass.

We are again, we'll be the judge of class finish 90th minute winner to one manager's son celebrates. I provided the beauty. And then he just fizzles into the atmosphere. The manager's son scores and it's all about me. They're all celebrating in one corner, yours in the other corner. It's all me. It's the past. It's crazy because after the game guys, they're like, they were speaking amongst themselves

and they might change the name to the Malfoy Cup. And all the Premier League players are saying, what a past. Did you ever make it at a high level Tim Bonders going, oh my god you should have played for Arsenal! How did Palace development ever let you go? I was asking the same thing. I did have a chance earlier in the game, I did a 1-2 round Danny Simpson or whatever. Oh yeah! One of the ex Premlok. Yeah, I'm X Premlok. On one of the X Premlok.

On one of the X Premlok. As I opened up to outside, you know, like a race left top corner. A little prevelity. Look at the floor. No, that's what we're gonna see on the highlights. See, now that'll be you, Garwood. If anyone's got any sense about them

and they hear this before the cut of the hashtag games out, please let that be Theo's only highlight. And please cut out, please cut out the touch of the hashtag games out, please let that be Theo's only highlight Please Ask like and this is genuine question is prime Theo Baker better than like a prime Jeremy Lynch because he's both played in the Academy No in terms of probably I I'd say probably Arsenal football club. Maybe. Yeah. So he says, no, he's both on the ball player in. This is a genuine. Like, what's your prime? No, you're not.

I'm also in my prime right now. Oh yeah. I was sprinting. Well done. That's pretty good. Yeah. I'm kicking right-footed fully Well, you should go I went through injury three. No, no, but I finally come back to strong enough. I can't They were on tied legs. I filmed a footwork video kick My hip flexor was sore, but I still right foot kicking I was fine. Yeah me I didn't know what genuine We're happy for you, but no one should have that you shouldn't amount of injury should be able to do Yeah, no, but it's taking have that you should be able to do Nobody's taking two years to get to this point. I'm fucking back. Yeah, please don't get excited and injure it again No, I didn't realize I'm back. Yeah, but well you should be cuz you got

My mother the Emirates right join a question that I've actually formulated Could be good for the group. Why what's it? What's this? He's got some chat GBT thing. Oh, no Chatchie tea gave me semi of this one, but then I changed it. Well, did you find it gave you a semi? No, this is a genuine discussion, real up for debate this. Oh, Jesus Christ. What do you prefer?

Saliba's going round, dude. Is he actually? Says who? Oh, well, you've ruined my moment. I know, yeah. Lads, what do you prefer? The first sip of your first pint in a sunny hot bigot in the middle of summer.

Fucking. Now we're talking. Or you're on a lads trip somewhere, maybe the train or wherever. It's the first crack of a can or first sip of an airport pint. Countless memories ahead of you. It's got to be lads. Which one's better? It's got to be lads trip. Nah, the first one.

I think it's lads trip. Nah, the excitement of a lads trip. Have you seen that guy this morning talking about it? Yeah. I think it's that trip. Nah mate, the excitement of the last trip. Have you seen that guy this morning talking about this? Yeah. That's what kicked me off. No, do you want to know why I disagree with that? Is because a lot of the time those, I actually think there's a bit of a myth and people pretend to enjoy that first airport or train bit because a lot of it is like six in the morning and that first one's a fucking struggle.

You don't enjoy that first one. No, no, but- You do not enjoy that first one. But with that, you're drinking it knowing that men are going to be cultivated. I usually enjoy the second one more. Right, the shot. The first bit in the sun. Well, I'll change the question to soup, Tom.

The second drink of the triple weight. It's got to be with that. It's got to be with that. It's got to be with that. When you're holding a head-popping. You're all in a silly, goofy mood. See, that's what gets me going. You don't even have to have a drink yet and you just like pour it in,

and then the first sip hits and you're like, we're away! Yes! What? You just say, I've had a sip. Like, you know when we do our FPL trip? Well, I'm just saying like, the first sip of the,

it's not a question. I was like, oh my God. Nah, it's definitely close sip of the... It's no question. I was like, oh my God. Nah, it's definitely close. I think it's... I love a beer garden beer, man. The first sip, sunny, five p.m. white. The beer garden, I think you've swapped it for like a strawberry and lime copperberg. Well, it doesn't matter what the pint is.

It doesn't matter what the pint is. Nah, you have one of them just to settle your stomach and it does make... It hits different. Our strawberry and lime copper about what doesn't matter what the point is it doesn't matter what the point that you have one of them just to settle it's different I strawberry lime copper back hits different in fucking doesn't matter what you pick as you drink I love one then it gets to sugar and I'm gonna be the hard stuff I don't like I'd see you you know I was talk like this anymore because you don't like, I'd see you, you know, I was talking like this anymore. Cause you don't, I drank more than you last week. No, you do. I don't think you did. I tell you what him on his own, maybe even me on my own collectively, you wouldn't even

call up pal. Yeah. I drank, I drank every, I drank seven days last week. I drank six hours. I actually want to go for a beer tonight. I need to stop. I think I've got a problem. I have to.

I've not been going to the gym. I've got a big, I've got a nice. See, that's the thing. My belly's all right. I couldn't stop doing what you do. It's because you're not eating. Tom, it'll come. I think that's the difference.

I am eating though. Oh you are? I went for a seafood boil last night, then we ordered a dessert, and then I had some toast with a cup of tea. What's in the footy? I couldn't stop doing what. I saw myself going through one day of drinking no food,

and then just eating loads the next day. Why don't you eat? What do you mean? Drinking in no food because you don't, you don't necessarily have to eat. Why don't you eat? You know after like a night out you get hungry, but why don't you get hungry? Oh, I know what he's getting at. He's getting at. No, no, no, no, no. Why would you get hungry? Did you know they went for a curry? Yeah. No, after the stag do that,, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no're like, no, I don't want to where do we order that Nordic bar the intimate? Yeah, I was trying to force it down your throat. I just have a good time. You don't have to eat at that point. Mm-hmm Interesting very interesting. I can't stop doing what you do now. Well, you join you go What do you mean when you got a big belly? Kept doing it. Yeah kept doing

When I was leaving over the edge and you just hard. Barely. That's when you got to watch out. I will say Reeve went on a birthday bottomless brunch. Is that what you were doing? I just seen you have loads of shots. Kat Harvey? Harvey's the guy that you FaceTime. Do you remember? And you spoke about Leicester. Yes, I do remember that. Yeah. I can always tell when Reeve's having a good time when he's messaging me.

Oh, my class. That's cute. I'm messaging you to let you happens. They did start on this bottom. This one actually was kind of a funny. I would love to do that. Where did you, you went out, around Leicester? Yeah, La Ciguanas and I genuinely- Oh, La Ciguanas is good, man. I tell you what, when we arrived, it was just, it was seven lads on a bank holiday Sunday with nobody else in there and we thought,

fucking hell, we come, is this really shit? No, that's good. And then, as soon as, when they told us the rules, you only get like one single shot of spirits and it keeps coming. We didn't realise, literally, as soon as you finish that drink, you can just go, yeah shot of spirits and it keeps coming. We didn't realize literally as soon as you finish that drink you can just go yeah I'll have another. Yeah.

No, no, but we thought there'd be like a... Some are a bit... Well for the food there was time based. You could only get X amount of dishes in X amount of time so we thought that would apply to the drinks as well. What was the drink you were drinking in the bottomless brunch? Sometimes they have like cocktails and stuff. Oh I had multiple. I went across like... You had options?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had Sex on the Beach. He's got B-small drinks. Sex on the Beach. So that might be the. Yeah. And they had sex on the beach. He's got a B smoldering. Yeah. Sex on the beach. So that might be the one we saw. But yeah, honestly, I'm thinking about 90 minutes. I went through like 15, 16. Land alert. Pork and drinks mate.

16 drinks in 90 minutes. It was fucking. That's a drink every five minutes. I went into it with the expectations as we sat down. Oh my God, this is going to be so shit. But after the 90 minutes rub, it was immense. They gave us free birthday shots. They gave us free drinks.

There is no way on earth that seven guys around a table at a bottomless branch can ever be shit. It depends if you're there. Sorry. You know I'd bring the vibe. Also the food there is immense. Yeah Lassi Guana is so good. It's a bit of a vibe. I'm not a big fan of the scrunch.

I thought usually bottomless brunch is like Prosecco. If you're single there's usually some decent skirt in there. Yeah by the time we'd finished it was just full. The entire thing was full. It's live? What's wrong with that? Could have said fanny. Women. Women. Elegant beings. Tarts. There's usually tarts knocking about in Las Vegas.

Anyways, I want to touch on what you actually did after that. This guy, well, Harvey came up with a brilliant idea. Please explain. Yeah, he did a quiz for his birthday. Which actually ended up being really good. I love quizzes. Yeah, everyone's trash, but it was like a just a vibey drug. I just feel like that would end up in arguments with me though. But they were definitely it was general knowledge and you had to send your answers in. So there weren't really any arguments because if you've got it, no, I would, cause I'd argue the question

that used to be like, like we used to do that in lockdown. Like you'd joke quiz. You're not special mate. I had two in one accident. Right. This guy is a fucking idiot. Right. I'm trying to be healthy. I didn't have my health. Can you be healthy after the podcast? I saw a big picture of a dominoes. Mine was quiet. You can have a condensed form of that insider after this. Right then. Are we ready for this week's Gaz Gobbles? It's Gaz Gobbles time. I'll be honest. So just a reminder, we're carrying over a win here, right?

Because he lied about the last week. He's gobbling up Gaz. He's gobbling up Gaz. He's gobbling up guys. It's a little guy I'm gonna give you a little insight here to this one. Okay, I I went a different route this time because it's getting harder and harder to find new stories So yeah, I thought that I've got more central with it So

So I went for... Are you coming? I went through chat GBT, because it's usually quicker and easier. And what I did, I asked them for three stories, but make one fake. Sure. They gave me that, but I didn't know the answer. So I tried to guess the answer myself, and I was incorrect. No! But you know the real one now.

I know it now. You know that there's not guess and play along with it. Wait, But you know the real one now. I know it now. Yeah, yeah. There's not guessing play along with it. Wait, so what? I did think that. So what's going to happen is you're going to say after we are... I'll say what I guessed. Okay, right. So I think that might make it a bit more fun for people.

Yeah, that's good. Okay, so first headline. AKA Tom Can Be Wrong Guys. Yeah, well no, I actually thought I was wrong the once and it turned out I was right. Mansu's psychic for failing to remove X's curse. We've had that. No, different one mate, just because it's like... I promise you we haven't.

You had one word that was similar and not the other. Octopus throws shells at aquarium visitors. That's great. I believe that like... Woman sets world record for most tacos eaten while skydiving. That's not possible. It could be a world record though. You only need to eat a couple.

Right. Logically speaking, is it a taco or is it the taco filling? Does taco filling in? That is simply impossible. Let's go for the backstory. It could just be one. That's what I'm saying. It could literally just be one because no one's ever done it before.

The film would fall out, brother. You hold it that way up. You hold it that way up so that it's wind resistant. No, no, no. He actually falls out of the plane backwards covering the wind. Yeah. There's definitely a way you could do it. Yeah, that'll stop all the wind, will it?

Would you like to know how many she ate? Yeah, if it's a ridiculous number, it's obviously not truly right. Two. See? I told you that's reasonable and that could be a world record. I think he's done your lucky clip. I think he's changed the number after you said it might only be one. If that would be a world record, that is a very reasonable amount. It was a stunt. No wait, in fact, he makes that up. The stunt was live stream and certified. Yeah, that's real. How can you live stream? How can you

live stream? What? You mean like Felix Baumgartner who fell from space. He did it from space. Literally fell from space. They go, how can you live stream this? That was live streaming. I don't know. I feel like that has more fun than what they're playing. With Red Bull jumping from space.

One tackle. No, but the point is if she's going from a world record and needs to be verified, then it could be live streaming. What is the one thing that we say we need to swear by and we never do? Common knowledge? Logic. Logic is key. But the problem is, if it's two,

The tackle filler barely stays there if you hold it on the ground. All she's gotta do. Nevermind when you're falling. Guys, guys, guys. Because it's two as well, all she's gotta do is hold them really tightly, one in each hand. You break the shell.

But Luke. Yeah, the tacos do fall apart. But are they soft tacos or hard tacos? Hard tacos. You don't know that. It doesn't actually say. I'm picturing a hard taco. It could be soft taco.

Like a Baoban style. It could be. And not only that, it could have no filling. It will specify. I feel like it doesn't specify. I swear to God. You've gone too direct with what you think a taco is. No, I had tacos at Las Iguanas, mate.

And they were soft. Yeah, they have soft and hard tacos. Not a burrito. It's not a burrito. Soft and hard taco. Soft and hard taco. You are right though, if it's a hard taco, that's fucking- That's what I was thinking, you bet you don't,

it's crisp, it's all gone into mush. I think you're right, I think that's the fact. I think it might be a soft taco with no filling. Maybe it's real. Soft taco with no filling. I think all that's happened is she's got two soft tacos, she stuffed one in her taco and then she's pulled a parachute. Can you ask the chat, GBT, if it's hard or soft tacos?

Er... Well, I can, but... Were they...? Why would chat GBT know the answer? Because if it's a real story, they'd know, wouldn't they? If it's based on an article, they'd know. No, because that'll give it away if it's true or false, so won't it? No, because even if it's false...

If they don't come back with an answer, you're going to know that fake one. No, because if I didn't do maybe we just leave it The stories of the story I agree that's a bit like you know, I mean yeah to tap that in no no That'll give it away it's true. Yeah. Okay. We'll find with that. Don't you get yeah, we got play the game You can only put with what you've got whatever Whatever's here is all I'm giving you. Yeah, that's right. I'm in the corner of fence. I'm not giving you... It's a Texas woman. I have a brief stint of all of them. What do you mean, skirt? Right, what's the... Oh, my man. That's really misogynistic.

By the way, all three of these don't give names or details of the person. All right. So go for it. They're pretty brief. All of them, which makes it better. What was the name of the octopus? There's no name of an octopus. I think the octopus is real.

So you want to hear about that? An octopus at a public aquarium in New Zealand. He was caught on camera deliberately throwing shells and debris at the visitors. Is an angry octopus? It doesn't say. Shell debris or like debris from them? Experts have said it could be a sign of intelligence or irritation. That makes sense.

Maybe he had a fairly goofy mood and made some noise. He was using jets of water to increase the force. So the jets in the aquarium., it sounds like that actually. He was like putting it in there. They were like octopus when they're in aquariums. They just stay still. You don't know that for a fact. I do. Why? How do you know? Cause I don't know. That's not because he's a Marine biologist. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously. And also there's no octopi in New Zealand either. And number one, a Californian man has filed a lawsuit against a psychic who's claimed

his ex-girlfriend had cursed him. I need to understand this a bit more. He paid a $5,000 to remove the curse but later sued claiming she didn't deliver on the promise. Right, but there's no illicit mention of what the curse actually is. No. Right. So just guessing. Are we going to get done by a psychic again, boys? California fans quite love it.

Basically, a guy paid a psychic five grand to get rid of a curse a girlfriend put on him, but she didn't do it, so you sue her. You could sue her. You have a case. If she said, I'll get rid of it. The only problem is, we've been done by a psychic story before. Well, she's still got the curse on her. Maybe another psychic story.

True, true, no. I mean, how do you prove a curse? What was the curse that they had? The fake one. Or the psychic. Erectile dysfunction. I could say that's a curse. I don't think in a court of law you could say that's a curse.

You would if it is a curse. So we need to go hardball here because you can't really ask any questions. Depends if a witch could put it up. So this is all about gut feeling and my gut feeling feeling saying it's either the curse or the octopus. My last used to live with a witch. That's not a way to talk about your mother in ball games. When they watched horror films, she would sprinkle salt around the couch. OK.

I think she was just mental. So what's your gut feeling, Lewis? I don't think you can eat tacos like that. I think it's... You know, I think it's I think it's I think two is a really like one in each hand. That's such a realistic amount. The toppings fall out. Yeah, but you're taking it direct as if you're getting there.

It's a plain taco. The fried tortilla taco. The taco is hard shell. It's a plain taco. That's a burrito. That's a burrito. That's not a burrito. I'm part Mexican.

Which part? All that. What's the brain? What's the brain? What do you think? What are you? I think it's the curse or the octopus. And what do you think, Reiv? I think it's the octopus.

That's the fake one. But I don't know. How can you think someone's eating tacos like that? How can you? Who's live streaming as well? Logically, I think two would get- I think the live streaming part- Makes it more of a-

I think the live streaming part- Makes it more of a- Makes it more of a- Makes it more of a- Makes it more of a- Makes it more of a- Makes it more of a- Makes it more of a- eating tacos out of a plane? Who's live streaming as well? The... logically I think two would... I think the live streaming part... Makes it more valid. Is not the unrealistic part of that.

Eating the tacos, I do agree with you. Yeah, I don't think you can do that. I do feel like they would fall apart. I was going to very much doubt that if you said a number higher than two. But because it's two... That high up in the air falling. That's also a good point. You could chew and swallow whilst falling. You'd choke and die. out of that if you said a number higher than two. But because it's two, But because it's two, But because it's two, because it's two you can have, That's also a good point.

You could chew and swallow whilst falling. You'd choke and die. But how do we know if you do it whilst parachute? The parachute bit. Because of you falling, and the way that works, you try and swallow it and it come back up. Lewis, could she have,

Because the food wouldn't be good. You're not able to swallow faster than the speed in which you're falling. What the hell are you talking about? I don't think that, does that fit? How do they eat in Spain? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So, because you're not falling What the hell you think that does that? Yes, yes, yes, yes, so because you're not falling in spike you think you're falling and let's say you're falling out like What is that 500 mile now, that's just safe for the sake of it

I know but you do realize they then that's Then you put it in your mouth and try and swallow you're gonna swallow like 505 mile now you how are you helping on that being the fake one then? Because the truth for me is such a realistic amount to have a world record at. No, Lewis, that's not at worst because why are you on a train when you jump up in the middle of a train? That is not the same. It is the same because once the food's in your mouth, it's in your body.

It's not the same. It's not the same. It would actually like it. I actually think it's really dangerous to do that, you're sure. But she could do it when she's parachuting. When she opens the parachute. That is true to do that you're sure but she could do it when she's parachuting We should have that issue when she opens bar shoot At least seven down there's been never no you wouldn't know because the difficult part Logistically having more if you've got two in your hand at that point you just eat

I get it though because obviously we could do with more info really because if she's doing it after she's open the parachute It's not during a free for student. Yeah, I don't think that It's gotta be done when you've just said That's too dangerous. They wouldn't do that, but there's been thousands of records that are more dangerous than eating food in taco filling Not but yeah, but you doesn't hold it like that. She might have done it. I open it. You'd cover it in yeah whilst you're falling Lads this is so I actually think I'm going to go mentally. I know all right It is the taco you can't do that you'll die Yeah, yeah the falling from 10,000 feet, you ain't gonna die, but eating a taco.

You can't swallow while skydiving. Do you not think two is such an obvious number for a world record? You wouldn't even get ensured to do that. There would be too much safety risk if you chalk in midair. Make a vote. You'll die. Make a vote. What?

If you chalk midair on the taco. Make a vote. Oh. I think it's taco time. You'll die. Make a vote. What? If you chalk midair on the tackle. Make a vote. I think it's tackle time. Should I go with my gut or should I go with what? Can I just say, I just wanted to check, because I did just think that I was like surely that you would, apparently what you can eat during a skydive, but it is generally discouraged due to safety and practical.

There's way more dangerous things than eating food in a skydive. How does it find that you have world records, Lou? Name two. What? Swimming with sharks. You said way more dangerous things. Swimming with sharks surrounded by blood. Jumping off a building with nothing.

Yeah, yeah, base jumping would be one. How long can I survive with sharks surrounded by blood? That's not a world record. You've just said something dangerous, but there's no world record for that. You can make a world record, like, that's why I have 10 minutes. But no one has, is the point. Sucking a dildo, jumping off top of a building. But that's, no one's done that. Exactly, that'd be a world record. You can make a world record like that's why I have 10 minutes. No one has this to the point. Sucking a dildo, jumping off the top of a building. No one's done that. Exactly. So that's the whole point that you can create world records, Lewis. That's how it works.

No, they wouldn't sanction it because they're not going to get people doing dangerous stuff. This is a brand new world record, that's my point. But they would not be sanctioned by Guinness World Records. Why? Because it's too dangerous. Like there's no dangerous world record. They got rid of loads of ones where they got people to stop doing it. I can't remember why I heard you do that. McCliff jumping is dangerous. The problem you're saying is because it encourages a lot of people to do that. That kind of event is so uncommon that a lot of people would not do that.

How about people who've climbed Everest with no equipment or something like that? That's fucking dangerous. Yeah also, isn't El Capitan, the free solo, that's way more dangerous than fucking eating a taco from a skydive and he's got a world record for that. No one's ever done that apart from Thingy. You can't just swall in air. You can.

Ow. I couldn't remember. You can, I promise you you can. I do agree with you. But also your logic for that is that people have world records for way more dangerous things than what he's said. That's not the logic to go on. That's not the- I think that's one of way more dangerous things. Yeah, that's not the That's one of the most dangerous things

I'm gonna sit and be very sure you've gone tacos. I'm gonna go with my gut, which was originally octopus and you're going octopus Oh the crazy octopus with the jet water. Yeah, you sure? Yeah, why not? Fuck it? He cares Could be real. That's quite real quite real. We're locked in anyway. So the Mansooni sidekick... Is true. Yes. We can't get done by a sidekick twice, boys. Just before you say, which one did... Oh no, because that would give it away.

I went with the Mansooni sidekick. Did you? Yes. Ooh. The octopus throwing the shells at the aquarium. I'm going to be so pissed off at you, Lou. Yeah. I know. Right. Because that is the true story. The fake story.

It would fucking fall out. You can fall. No, we're in two different minds about. No, I told you. You're thinking, you're thinking hard shell tacos. I told him I did all I You're thinking hard shell tacos. I told him. I did all I could. It's too dangerous.

But look, it might have no fillings in. That's not a taco then, it's a shell. By the way, everything I said, you can eat during skydiving, and it wouldn't not be a record because it's too dangerous. I'll sit and be smug. But I do agree with you,

it would just fall apart. You wouldn't be able to do it. You wouldn't be able to swallow and chew it all. You were telling me you couldn't hold that in a tight bound course. You're telling me you'd be able to chew and swallow two of them. Or fillet would come out. You're't be able to do it. You wouldn't be able to swallow and chew it all. You couldn't hold that in a tight bound course. You're telling me you'd be able to chew and swallow two of them. No, no, you just hold it. No, you just, no, it would come out.

And then he'd eat it all. Like you would a burrito. But then he said burrito. No, it's not a burrito at that point. You just know rice in it. It is, it's burrito. A burrito becomes a burrito when it has rice in it. You're thinking of these ones.

You're thinking of them ones. No, that's a wrap. Like crusty and like. Yeah, but that's not what I was thinking of. But you could just eat a taco and no filling. It's still thinking of these ones. You're thinking of them ones that are like crusty. Yeah, but that's not what I was thinking of. But you could just eat a taco and no filling. Still, you can't chew and swallow two of them in like the 20 seconds of all of them. I mean, I can't say anything,

I went for the psychic ones. You could have it no filling, mate. Well, you've seen it, ladies and gentlemen. I am happy. So that's another W. That's the first one you've ever got it right, by the way. I've been right all the time. You really haven't.

It's not true. What is hilarious though, as soon as I read him out, he went, it's either the psychic or the time. You really haven't. It's not true. What is hilarious though, as soon as I read him out, he went, it's either the psychic or the octopus. He always gets them wrong. I love it man, I'm here for the game. So yeah, that, I don't know what the score is, but you're getting... I'm GG's biggest fan. Who? Yeah, GG, Gatscoubles. Okay, good game. Thanks for 50k. Yeah, make sure you like and subscribe and let us know in the comments what you went for. Did you think a taco was possible to eat while skydiving? Did we get the like amount for whatever the... Oh yeah, because you've got to bring your journal in.

Yeah, did we get the like amount? We did actually. We did. Don't think we did actually. So we may have... So yeah, Luis is going to bring his journal in. You made it to the end. Well done you.

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