Back Side - Tom QUITS, Blind Ranking Death Row Meals & Running Isn't A Sport Debate Gets HEATED

Episode Date: September 11, 2025

If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis Bowden:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, Catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore. Fizz is 100% online. So you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month.

Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. Ron, it's not a sport. It's still a footballer. There's still a footballer. That's the most stupid thing you've ever said. Then I had to go to another enterprise to get a new car. Sad thing about private jets is that when there is a storm, they still can't fly.

Shush! The plane was in Santorini and had to get new tires. How is that interesting for anyone? Can I ask? I'm outdoor. There's no holes in a rubber ring. You are so infuriating, I want to die. Can we finish the game?

Oh! Oh! Yeah! Yeah! I'm gonna quit this podcast. It's one land, man! Oh, Lou. Oh, we roll him.

So obviously it was the Great North Run this weekend, yeah. Why are you dressed like that? I got a blister and I can't wear shoes. What does that excuse the joggers? Like, you live in prison? Do they wear joggers in prison? Perks and Sox, mate, that's the combo. Joggers prison.

Good one. I've got Guinness socks on. Thanks, 50K. Okay. Um, yeah, so the Great North Run, one of the biggest half marathons in the UK, right? It might even be the biggest, I'm sure. Where is it, Lewis, Great North Round?

Ermitton, Newcastle, yeah. Oh, is it? No, it's not. No, it isn't in Newcastle. And obviously, on the medal, yeah, they wanted to show Newcastle, hosted the Great North Run. Yeah.

What city did they show? Instead. They showed Sandlin. They showed Sandler. It's a bit weird. The wrong river. How does that get through? Like, how many people in a row?

And no one thought to like... How many... It's on the t-shirts as well, mate. And they try to spin it in. Now you have a one-of-a-kind thing that we'll only ever talk... It's like... How many like levels of security would they be checking? No, for creating like the medals and all the merchandise and all the money that goes into it, you think...

It'd be a lot. It'd be like when those Everton fans pretending to be really... Pretends to be Richard Arlison. Sent all the Liverpool players and the wrong coach, do you not remember? Just trolling the wrong city, isn't it? Oh, city goose is like... It is weird, though, because this is like...

This is a major operation. And they have... Bring Jamie back. Where is he? Who cares? Is he really that... Is he that bad? I don't really know. It's huge in the athletics world. He's like doing the London Marathon

and you got Manchester on your badge. You're telling me that would really bother me? Tell you what, this is huge in the athletics world. Something we were talking about before. Yeah, Tommy Fury. Tommy Fury. Or should I say Tommy Fraudy? Oh, alas!

Now, I'm a bit of a triathlon nerd. So when I saw he did the T-100, I was like, ooh, let me check his times. I'd love to know what his splits were. Ugh. And when I looked to them, I thought, this is awfully fishy. He's only done 60K of the bike. It's meant to be a lot 80K. So how's he cheated?

He didn't make the swim cut off time. So technically DQ at that point and didn't complete the full amount on the bike. Oh, is this not how? How is it? I don't know that I think it's a loop system. It has to be a loop out. Are you not being triathlon drop jobs with sea?

Like, oh, you know, no, no, no, no. It's like, you know when you wanna do the under marathon once? Uh huh. Yeah, it's like, do you, do you? Apparently. It's like you, when you go over London Bridge, like 20K just you just turning left

to the finishing line. Okay. That's smart. Do you know what he also did? Do you see him? He actually ran the Great North Run. He did on the great north right. And you see him elbow, the guy at the end.

You're not seeing it. He's a bad drool's like that. In his defense, he's a big man. He's a fighting. I know, but doesn't mean you could, by the way, it's not your race, you twas. No, no, no. This person's also run it.

And who's the old geezer. He's probably like, he's actually, because if he didn't do that, he would have doubled out. Don't fucking sprints indirectly into the back of someone. Yeah, but he's aura farming at the end of the race, isn't he? Yeah, he does. He turns full record Ralph and just.

He did the sprint in the 2100 as well after not complete in the whole thing. But apparently, apparently, there is another reason why. Apparently, like, 300 people because there was a problem with the swim, everyone's trackers are a little bit dodgy. Oh, yeah, I think this has been, now you've explained it. I think, what's the elbow? I think, yeah, I've seen it. I don't think he's cheated on purpose.

But his time in the 2-100 was pretty amazing. Well, yeah, he'll be super fit. I don't think that's as bad as you're making out of either. The way he runs, the way he sprints so funny, man. How tall is he? like six three something like that he wants to go

into bodybuilding like he's obviously he's obviously fucked up on the swim and then the bike he's obviously just accidentally missed a lap

like do you know what I mean he's technically got it wrong but let him live yeah let him live Bambi was there to watch it as well

the T100 in French Riviera is he just getting out of the way what's he doing he has not elbowed anyone he is

he's like he touched him going around the corner also you should be you should actually be As a man who was a dodging, you should be giving a go at different sports.

It's good. It's what you want to encourage people. Running. We've already established this. He's not giving go a different sport. Triathlon's different sport. He's taking part in an aspect of many sports. Triathlon's given a sport.

What? Triathlon is a sport. No, it's a combination. No, it's a sport. Triathlon is a sport. It's in the Olympics. It's called triathlon. So it's a discipline is in it.

Wait, okay. So it's running a combination. So it's running a sport. Yeah. So how is triathlon and running both a sport? It's running not just part of the actual sport. Yes. And running is a small aspect of it.

But I wouldn't say being a goalkeeper is a sport. It's an aspect of football. No, it's a position in football. No, it's an aspect of football. Running's not a sport. It's still a football. There's still a football and that's most stupid. That's the most stupid thing you've ever said.

Running is a sport. That's a silly thing to say, there's tons of different. We've been over this and I've shown this under half marathon. Running is a sport. A marathon. What is in the Olympics. Actually, no. It's right here.

Running isn't a sport, but like, it's an aspect of the marathon running. How do you do with the marathon? You run. Yeah, sprinting is a sport. Sprinting, yeah. Middle distance, running. It's running. It's a sport.

Yeah, they're all sports. But running is a sport. If I run to the shops, that's not a sport. You didn't do a sport, you just run. But you're walking races as well. Yeah, I know, that's what I mean. So walking is a sport. Yeah, but the walking race is a sport.

No, you understand. I think he's right. Yeah. He's cooking. He's an analogy was he played football, but the goal is not a sport. I don't quite see it like that. Yeah, but if you dribble a football for the shops, is that a sport?

No. So therefore, yeah, but we know football is a sport. Dribling isn't a sport. All right, Tom, what if you drive to the shops? Is that a sport? No.

But is Formula One a sport. Yeah, that's my whole, yeah, you're at the point. That's my point. You're just back my point up, you idiot. None. Yes. You just completely back my point out.

No, it's not. Okay, so when you drive for a sport, you do like the indie car. No, no, that's, yeah, yeah. That's a sport. That's a brand. When you drive to work, it's at a sport, whatever you want to call it.

Formula One, that's... Motor racing, that's a sport. Yeah, right. So you're only saying... Driving, driving. Motor racing is a sport and Formula One is a brand of motor racing. Yeah, driving is gonna... What are you...

He really thinks he's done some of there. What are you on about? What do you do in motor racing? Drive. Are you saying... Are you saying that running is only valid as a sport if there's a distance put onto it? It has to be a big enough distance to warrant it.

It has to be compared to me. 100 meters? 100 meters. It has to be competitive. 100 meters. Sport is competitive. 60 meter dash. Yeah, that's a sport.

I don't think half maritans is a sport. I think that's like half a sandwich, isn't it? No, it is. What? It's like, unless you're breaking like, unless you're breaking the record. Unless you break in the record. The 5,000 meter running race.

Yeah, it's a sport. I don't know. They're all sports, but running isn't a sport. It is. It's not. We've just explained how it's not. It's for people who are good at other sports. Let's be honest.

No, you're ruining it. What the hell are you want to? We went over this at the heart. We went over this before when we did the half marathon. It's an easy thing to do that you just don't stop. It's people who aren't good at other sports. Yeah. It is.

We went over this and approved. Kipchogi is, so Kipchogi is just enough. I bet he's shit at football. He's not that talented. He can just run. There's why more talent involved in. Why do you put your football into Kipchogi that? I don't know.

I'm saying he's shit at other sports. Yeah. No, no, yeah. I understand. you're saying because the skill element of running is very low yeah that's more point but it's still still really hard yeah and it's still a sport it's more mental yeah yeah and it's just not skillful sport yeah marathon no you're missing the point marathon running is a sport physically half marathon running is a sport if it's competitive uh fucking 100 meter 100 meter sprint is a sport 200 meters is a sport

lewis is saying running is only running a marathon i didn't say it only mental i said it's more mental No. It's more mental. Just put one thought in front of the other. Keep doing that and three and a marathon runners. You're not more mental than physical. I bet he's shit at football. Yeah.

Why is that relevant? I bet he can't make... Because he wouldn't be in a football if he was good enough at that sport. No one grows up and thinks I'm going to be a runner. Yeah. No, you play football, you're shit. And you're like, I tell you what, I can't half run though. I think that's unfair because the people that are very good at running

aren't actually exposed to football at an early age, are they? No, no, no, other way around. People realise they're, like, brilliant at running by playing things like football, tennis, but they're not good enough of that, so they're like, I'm going to running. Yeah, I'll go do that. Nah, what about those? Like, Adam Jamili was in like,

academies growing up and he's one of Team GB sprinters. You're backing up my point again. Theo, no one goes. No, but I'm saying like, he's just bagged up. So Adam Jamila was a footballer in academies, wasn't good enough, so when he's sprinting? But you could do. That's completely backing up.

But the best advice first. But the best, you can do, there's a rowers and cyclists who have done. Who? Victoria Pendleton. What, what, they start off up? She went, was it, Pendleton's the other one.

They went from cycling, Olympic Team Gebe cycling, and then went into Olympic Team G rowing. It's not really, I don't know. My argument, my argument would be. She also, she also, she did a race at the Cheltenham Festival. So I don't know what you're pointing here. Very Penderton did. Yeah, no one in the world goes,

oh, I tell you what, I could make lots of money playing this great fun sport and get lots of recognition and all this. I'm going to go play, do this running thing. I think you're doing a real injustice to all the professional rights. No, we're not. They're very good at it. They're great, but they're only doing it because they failed at the sport. There are so many runners out there who have spent their entire life only doing it.

Yeah, because they weren't good and they're better sport. They loved running. No, no, no, no. No one plays football and thinks, I love this running part. Yeah. But not ever, no. Wait, Lewis, you do realize. Like, not every single person likes and enjoys to play football, right?

Yes. Yeah, you don't enjoy it because you shit. I don't really enjoy it that much because I'm not very good. because I'm not very good. The best runners in the world are the best runners in the world because they come from an environment that is basically like bread for running.

There's no other sports in like Western and Central Africa. Well, so they play football. They'll play football. Yeah, but primarily there, it's much easier to become a runner in that part of the world because the barrier to entry of that sport

is much longer than... Kenyan bare, but we can only talk about where we're from. I can't relate to that. Yeah, but I'm just given the argument that Kip Chogi probably could be good at football. I can only talk about people. No, we could do.

What is not? I bet he could be. I bet he's all right. You could say the same for cyclin. Yeah. But all these professional cyclers. What about it? They've only done cycling since they're like the age of six.

Do you ever wonder if you are naturally gifted at a sport you'll never be able to play? Like for example, you know, like people in the Middle East could be just the most insane natural skiers, but they'll never be able to experience. Yeah, that's a good point. How would you ever know? That's the question. Is there, do you reckon there's a sport? If there's a sport out there you haven't done before?

Do we get Dave? That's what I'm asking. But what's your sport? I don't know. Oh my God! You made me want to shoot myself in the face! I'm asking what do you think it could be? I think mine's archery.

I think mine is shagging. So wait, see, you've answered the question. I'm sorry, I thought you said to watch yours. As like you'd know. Is there something out there that you think you'd be just a natural palant of that? Hmm. I don't know, maybe. I'm pretty good at Bull.

Bull? Boles. Oh. So that's not a hidden one then. Bule? I reckon I could have been good, what's the sport? Benson. No, I wouldn't be good at that.

Maybe skiing was my call. Yeah, but you've been open to that... You've been... You've been... That's the point I'm making. Maybe snowboarding, I don't know. Shit, mad about... Maybe I've chosen a fucking sport.

What I'm saying is there could be some guy in the middle of Brazil that genetically, I don't even know how, just... naturally the best skier in his game but he will never ever there could be a bunch of lads in jamaica who are really good at bobsleigh sorry okay bad example yeah but i don't you mean i know a bunch of lads in jamaica are good at bobsley no they're not actually good no they weren't they weren't they weren't they weren't they weren't they weren't they were famously not good they were at the winter olympic and that's pretty impressive well there's no competition in fairness to their spots.

No, do you think? Break dancing like that, Australia. To qualify, they did. I reckon mine would be diving. I'd have been a good diver. I can actually get you to try that if you wanted to. Oh, we'll do it.

So, it was a really good swimmer when I was younger, but I've never died. Would you jump off a 15-meter diving board? 15? Or 10? 10. I'll do 10, definitely. There's one of the team G.

Okay. Divers. I'll do that. One of the team G. Divers actually wanted to do a diving video. with us for oh why don't we do that that'd be a great back side goes diving i don't if he's what he might not be watched it but noah williams wants to do a diamond video oh 100% i don't like oh i don't like heights with his knee ah be fucking our belly

fluff i can't die i can barely swim oh what is it is it 10 meter 5 meter and is it 15 meters 10 10 and 2 i think is it 2 and 1 oh yeah no me 10 is the 10 is the top one 10 meters out how much would have hurt like belly flop and not from 10 billion you you just wouldn't do that No, but no, if you dived wrong, though, because that's what I... It would, but you're not going to... Three meter. Three meter, springboard, 10 meter platform, 10 meter platform. Maybe dog training.

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Maybe in the Olympics I'd love to try the springboard The thing about the springboard I always worry about is How don't they slip? Oh, they're grippy socks Don't wear socks They have grips on the bottom of their feet

What? Don't? No, they don't. Don't go down there you? You are... I think they don't slip. You are a very individual... Because they're just not sleepy G

Would you do the Red Bull Cliff diving? No. Oh, no, no, no Oh yeah, like an extreme sport That's one meter as well You can do that one, Lou. Yeah, I'll do that. Really skiing.

Sorry, how can it be a one meter dog? Like, surely that's, you could just fall over. It's like, idiot abroad. You know what he does the bungee jump? Yeah, the uncle. I'm bigger than a meet. That's like I could just fall over. You know, I did recently, which I hadn't done in years.

Do you have sex? With that as well. But, you know, when you were a kid, you'd like dive forward, dive backwards, and then you'd back to the water and you jump backwards and turn and dive. You did that as a kid. I couldn't do any of them. I did that as a 29-year-old male. Sorry.

Why did you say male? So you're facing, like, the boat. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, imagine by the pool. No, no, placing away. I'm like, I'm stood here on the edge of the pool with the water's behind me. Yeah, that's what I mean.

Jump back was turn, 180 dive. Yeah, got you. That's what I was trying. It felt pretty cool, I won't lie. Never mind, nah. But really cool. I just do the pencil. Do you know what I'll do for the first time you use?

Mate, love? I kick the dog to death. Oh. Do you know what I realize? I know, that's not true. He's a very dog. Do you know what's mental, right? Have you ever thought about this?

Like, how some dogs, like, speak Spanish. Nice. Poor dog. Like, do you know like... No, no, guys. No, do not, you know, don't speak Spanish. They do? No.

They don't speak Spanish. Mate, one of the lads... One of the lads, I played with in America, got a dog and he understood Spanish. Exactly. It was understanding Spanish, Tom. Yeah. He's a fucking dog. He speaks Spanish, mate.

He understands Spanish. He speaks Spanish. He would go sit. He'd just go... Yeah, but does he speak it? Yeah, but does he speak it? And you go, Kayate? And he'd shut up.

If I went, shut up. He just stopped. I never thought, like, you'll have. Italian, you'll have Italian parrots. Exactly. No, they understand it. Ah, but they don't speak. It's a difference between speaking,

verbally speaking, a fucking language. Parrots speaks! Bahjarno. Parrots speak? All right, does the dog, does the dog, does the dog, does it? No, it doesn't, it talks in dog form, but it's Spanish. It'll have a bit of twat on the end of its wolf. Yeah.

Yeah. Come with that, me go. Famas to the playa. Oh. I mean me goes to buy her. Rimo de la noches sans a fiesta. That's an English part. I was just in bed last night and I was like I was just thinking about I was like isn't it mad like I could go to Spain and the dogs wouldn't understand me also did you not see that video of the dog the husky who like moans in Italian yeah yeah

they speak Italian they speak Italian why are you such a hater man why do you animals dogs are cleverer than you probably my dog speaks black country Abinya how can yow and she is a cocka there right cockapoo yeah I've been your cocker. Oh, my man. But she doesn't like it when I put my finger off a bum. It's for suppositories. My mate actually did that to his dog, but he was like, kid. Apparently it sucked in.

Can you stop tapping the table? Rest of a piece, Rooney. He was called Rooney. Please. What a dog. I'll talk about finger in the bum. I think I might, I think I was supposed to be, not supposed to be gay, but I feel like I've found. It's not to change it.

I found like a, a new. Gay aside to me. You had a wet dream over a man. Well, look, well, I said to you, I went to do the seven noses of Soho. Yeah, I, what does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean?

So essentially, right, back in the, like, the 1700s, there was like a sculpt there going around in Soho. Is this true, though? Yeah, yeah. True. Yeah, you can literally, I literally went and did a thing doing it. Like, there, they're there. There's like hundreds of, like, noses.

He was sculpting into the walls and that. I don't know why, but he did it. Apparently, though, like, the government. didn't like that and they started chopping down the noses and that so there's only seven remains and there's not a person alive in the world who's seen all seven no no no no what do you mean there's only seven noses left in london in soho the seven noses but that cannot be true what about on a statue there's an extra nose no but like of this lewis can i ask question you know you said what's that got to do with anything oh no we haven't even got there yeah hey question on this

karesterniz you said not a person alive today i've seen them all i seen them all how do you know the seven That was my question Yeah Nobody knows Maybe they wrote them down Alright so I was going around And essentially me and Charlie were doing it And it was like right

For every nose we find We'll go and have a beer So it was like 10,000 10,000 steps drinking Norses Trezumines And because apparently

Great Wealth away to the person Who finds all seven Does she get a full pint or a half pint? She was actually on just Pepsi She wasn't drinking until her birthday So it was just me getting drunk And I'm like I'm not gonna lie, we went for two beers before we even found a nose because I just couldn't...

You went for two beers? Well, yeah, I see him a lot. I think you might have a problem with this. Don't reveal because I actually might end up doing this. But how far is the dispersion of the... You find any? I found four. How?

Where? There was one that's really big. There's one that's really big, but the old ones are just human-sized noses? Wait, can I ask, are they on like a random wall in the middle of Soho, that sort of vibe? One's like high up. You must have known where these are. And I've seen a picture of them close up, so I knew the kind of buildings looked for. Could you not just Google it?

You could, but sort of defeats the... Yeah, true. But you already had clues of what kind of buildings to look for. I knew the sort of... I didn't have a thing, it was quite zoomed in picture, but I knew the bricks. You've still got three left out there. What are you going to do to complete? How are you going to...

Look that. Why does that... Oh, that's it. Sorry. Is this where the end of the story again? I thought you're going to put your ass on these notes. So when we found the first nose, we were trying to find a bar, but apparently Soho's like really like, is it just really LGBT...

There is. There is a, like, a gay village pot. Yeah, I think that's where I was. I was in, like, the gay... You got Trinatown right next to it, and then you put... And it was class, because I didn't really actually know this, but I went in and had, like, the rainbow flag outside. I was like, oh, this will be decent.

And even, like, even, like, the bouncer was, like, a bit more feminine than usual bouncer. Oh. Which was quite nice. Like, you had, like, blonde, curly hair. Oh. You're like, hi, love. You're right, love. You're like, you know what I mean?

Like, that's nice, though, from a bouncer, rather than, like, not saying a word, like, hi, hi, love. Yeah. thingy bar where they got the last singing but it's like a what's it called drag drag queen drag queen drag bar I we're in a drag bar right

mate they're fun man I've never felt I'm mad hoar like when people scooge past you it's an inclusive isn't it it's inclusivity when people scooge past you they grab you and say sorry love and like stuff like that yeah they're fucking groping you yeah I didn't mind it but um

now so we're in there just having drinks and in the toilets this is what I found weird it had like a sign saying no sexual things allowed in here no matter what acts because apparently like

it's fucking very common in like gay bars it's like that Berghai in it in Berlin apparently it's a big sex fest I fucking loved it but like wild stuff goes on in there do you know how you have dreams growing up

like where you like suck no you've asked us this before the answer still no I've never giggling halfway through that I've never had a dream about sucking a boat Everyone's had a dream.

I've wang my mate off for real, but I've never dreamt about it. But everyone's had a dream that they've sucked someone off. No, no, no, no. I haven't seen. I've probably dream that I've been sucked off by, to me else, but never like... I've had that as well. Oh, okay. But it's like that, and then coupled with...

Have you had either of them? I've genuinely never had that. I just tick that. Coupled with the fact that I had the trans ads recently on TikTok Lord. If you feed yourself into that, that's a problem. I think you find, I think you enjoy it. I do enjoy it. I think you're by.

I think it might be good. I went out in Manchester. uh to yeah we know your voyage and uh i was wearing the tightest bernardo silver t-shirt of all time i think bears gave it to me at the time and little did i know that apparently i look very much like a bear in the uh in their realm of things yeah because like a really yeah bear no no bear's a hairy though i don't know what bear is can you type in type of gear people like a bear is like a bigger muscular guy that no bear is hairy you're not bad what i do you might be a i think you're a power bottom.

Right. Pops more of a bear. Oh, bear. Masculine, hairy, larger bodied. Yeah. Twinks. Young lean, often hallow. I could be a bit of twink.

I could be a bit of twink. Wait, is this a real thing? Oh no, I think I'm an otter because I'm not actually... No, that's me. Maybe I'm a cub. A young developing bear. A jock is just, I thought they're American. Right.

Should we read through them anyway? So I would definitely be a twink. So a twink is a young leaner, often hairless gay man. Is it a real thing? It's a real thing to be a young to be a young to be a young. You can appear more androgynous old boy. Now, that's don't probably... Yeah, so that's like for a younger gay fellow.

Yeah. A bear is a larger, more masculine, often hairy gay man. That could be you, but I don't know if you're big. No, I'm not. So I don't know why I was getting called that. I think might be more torn, but I don't know if he's big. No, I'm not big enough. All masculine.

I think I'm an otter, a slender hairy game. Oh, no, I'm not hairy. You're a slender man. Representing a blend of bear and twink traits. Oh, you're a cub, a younger developing bear. No, because I'm not that young. Or a chub. An overweight game.

I think I'd be an otter. Daddy and older... Steve, you're a jock. You're a jock. Yeah, I think I would be correct. Yeah, you're a jock, man. Oh, you're a wolf. Tom.

Similar to an otter. A wolf is typically lean and muscle, but with more body hair and often perceived as more masculine and sexually aggressive. You're actually a fucking wolfie. Lou, you're a gamer. A gamer.

A game man who identifies a gamer and is part of the gaming community. Yeah? You're part of the gaming community. I don't think I have one. I think I'm kind of a gamer. hairless otter or leather lew refers to a community and a subculture

often involving fetish wear like leather with his own traditions and play and sexuality that's like you being part of the Christmas Gimp community what I wonder as a I think you're a twink Lewis I know because I'm not young enough though I was back in the day I'd happily be a twink though yeah but then you would be

anyway bottom as well you generate a lot of I've had enough of this but yeah I went a holiday recently where'd you go yeah he went on a hollibob before it where'd you go just to bring it another holiday yeah Oh yeah, this was the, where did you go feel? I went on a road trip. Yep.

To roads? Not to roads, no. But when I tell you that everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. Oh, now you've got to explain because we were interested. So there I am. Fucking weird the secret of the tree, man. Heading to the airport to catch my 3 o'clock flight, as we all know after I left. And, uh, lo and behold, delayed three hours.

Happened a lot, that. Been having a lot, isn't it? Get on the plane at 6.30. haven't really eating because I thought I'm gonna have dinner on the plane I can't wait

Yeah First class Easy Jet Exit Row They don't do food On the plane EasyJet Yeah they do

They do They do chicken cornware Terriaki chicken Peney rice You can buy it You can buy it I was so excited It depends how long

the flight is It's only like an hour and a half before I was You know when you're like You start You really want plain food Wait you were saving

yourself For plain food Right Plain food can be all right Why are you judging that That's because you have The airport That's three hours

Delia on a flight You have all these options For food myself for the easy jet playing food what do you mean that isn't mental you can have nice food well you're wow you're right I'm right I'm right I'm right I'm not too right what a snob yeah obviously I ate a little bit but I was oh what did you so you did eat then no no no I had a snack I had a snack I was it what was it a full burger king milk I think it's back at crisp actually um anyways get on the plane sat what did they

did this by the way sat down on the plane or a lodger gentleman oh a little like there is an issue we cannot overtake. It's a Canadian pilot. Basically, he was like, there's a two and a half hour delay. We're sat on the plane. We take off right now. I was sat up on the plane for two and a half hour.

Yeah, that winds me up so much. I was just like, and then, and they're like, oh, can I order some food? They're like, oh, I wait because we're about to, we're about to cross the deadline where we can all use some free snacks. And she was like, just wait. I was like, I find I wait. And then they finally started doing the free snacks.

By the way, and then, nah, nah, no. I was ready to throw our hands. We then start the process of taking off. Yeah. And they're like, oh yeah, sorry, we'll get your snack on the plane. So I've waited. We're in the middle of the plane. No, no, wait.

I'm just like, I am so hungry at this point, okay? And they're like, they didn't get to us because we're in the middle of the plane. Fair enough. I'll get the hot food when we take off. Oh, they are fucking. We're finding on the plane after five and a half hour delay. Oh.

And this is why I'll never fly any other than B.A. They finally get to us, middle of plane. What would you like? Can I get the terriaki chicken, please, and the coma? Sorry, we're not doing hot food. We're landing in 20 minutes. What? Wait, hang on.

An hour to get to us. Theo, you've done... No, no. I was ready to throw ass. But you've done... I was ravenous at this point, Lewis. I was hungry. I was tired.

I needed food. Right, so what else happened? You know what I got? It was bad. No, come, no, come. You're just describing the feeling of hunger. I was so hungry. And then we finally get to the hotel at 1am.

And the lovely gentleman was like, go help yourself to a packet of crisp. So I got a free packet of crisps for dinner. Theo, you've done very well for yourself in life. I understand free snacks is ideal, but I'm sure you're in a position where you can He wouldn't let me order anything. She's saying, no, you must wait for free snack. And I didn't want to like be like, I don't care. And, you know, that didn't.

I just don't find it. I swear it's not happening. So when she comes around with the hot food and you said, can have this and they said, we've got no hot food. Why don't you just have a snack? Thank you for your patience. Your call is important.

Can't take being on hold anymore? Fizz is 100% online so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. I did have a snack, didn't you? I bet you did. Maybe a shortbread, yeah.

So you ate, yeah. Oh what? He took me a shortbread? Tom, a shortbread, after you've waiting for a nice hot meal. You said, you said, I didn't eat at the airport. You did, you ate. I didn't eat on the plane, you did. You ate a short bread.

What the fuck is this story? I need, like, over 3,000 calories a day. Oh. Come on. Like, you know, when you're waiting for hot food, you've waited five and a half hour leave. I'm with him now. No, no, no.

By the way, you wanted a hot chicken coma. Eat at the airport then? Oh, no. You've turned around, haven't you? Yeah, because then you get this, acting like a bitch. I wasn't acting like a bitch. You're acting like a bitch now. Theo, were you swear on your life

that you only ordered shortbread on that plate? Yeah, you didn't buy any other other items. Swear on Dodie's life. Yeah, adored his life. I think I got a cappuccino as well. What else did you think? I did it, that's it. That's it.

Where? Where? Where? What about before I eat? I swear. Swear. Had a bucket of Pringles. I knew it.

I knew it! No! point of this story? I mean, he's just, it's just, fucking, he's just bored the life out of us for 10 minutes about a story that's just a complete lot. By the way, before the flight, not before the flight. No, but it might have been, I'm taking Coma packet of Pringles. And the shortbread?

Oh, I'm starving. There's probably as many calories. By the way, yeah. My way, there's probably as many calories in the Pringles and the shortbread, then the coma. No, I'm starving. Let me have a hot delay. So when you said, no, no, no. When you said, when you say, I didn't want to be a carrot.

When you say, I didn't want to be a carrot. be a Karen and didn't want to kick up because there's no hot food. What I did order was Pringles on a shortbread at the time. And a cup of it. You know, when you were like a delay for five enough hours, you just want some hot food. Stop, mate. We get it.

You swear on Dordy's life up before the flight also. All you had was Chris. Yeah, yeah, I swear to God, that's it. Say it. That's it. Say it. Say it. That's it.

What? Anyways, we get to it. Wake up the next day. Start the dark on the road trip. I didn't eat. All I had was a nominate. No, no, no, no, it's going great. Everything's going fantastic.

You know what? lovely weather great vibes get to it hit a curb good driving yeah that's how you did it I thought you just tired pop though ever you hit a curb no I just like you know when you you bet you know when you can turn a corner you go over curb yeah sometimes you never before I did that thought nothing of it suddenly they go what's that noise tire's just deflating so fast I'm like right well this is just a day ruiner isn't it pull over in the car park tire as fuck what have you gone on a lot is you to drive I was a trip Tom.

Alright. Do you not just fly to where you got? No, you drive along the area we were. That's the same thing he went on. What? Road trip. Oh. I don't get it.

Weird. Anyways, to be fair, Enterprise were pretty good at like doing it. But you know when they're like, oh, they came from England? Yeah, in another country we're in. But then, you know, the, um... Why are you not saying what could... Yeah. Oh, we're in France.

You know when they're like, oh, it'll only be 45 minutes, so you just wait around instead of like hanging around. Yeah. Three and a half hours later. There would be like drug deal. I wish they just told us it's three and a half hours. Then we could have like... Had food. You don't have a spare wheel?

No, the car didn't have a spare wheel. And then I thought he's gonna come and just do the tie for me, bring the tire, the mechanic. Well, he looks like he goes, can't do that. And he loads it up onto a truck and takes the car away. Then I had to go to another enterprise to get a new car. And then to top it off. Oh, here we go.

Reading to our destination. If you're listening to Horm, hold your horses. Yeah, because it's about to get. This is where I was just like, this is it. We're heading to a very important destination. Where's that? And we only had time to get there. And then for some reason, you know Apple Carplay?

Yeah. And you know in France, have you've been through, have you driven in France? No. They have these payages. Instead of paying road tax, you go through these things and you pay each on a toll booth. Basically a toll booth, yeah. Anyway, for some reason, every time we went through it, the Apple Pay would just cut off. The Apple Car Play would just cut off.

And I just, oh, this is going to... First world problems. Our music would just stop. This particular payage, okay? We've been driving 45 minutes, hour and a half to our destination, and it cuts off as we exit the payage. I got, oh my God, it's the left or right? I went right, fuck it, we're going right. Added 45 minutes to the journey.

Oh, shocking levy. What I'm seeing is you have fucked a lot of this up. You've turned down snucks. He did buy his snucks. He crashed the car and he took the wrong turn. It's all you and the holiday from hell. And you will never believe it. I had to drive an extra 45 minutes.

When you're in a rush. You're only in a rush because of you? You crushed the car. Basically, you weren't in a rush. You were zero three on the trip. You didn't get a meal at the airport. You crashed the car. You then took the wrong turn.

It's all your fault. bad, but like it felt like everything was going wrong. Yeah, but it was! You were there! I've never had issues like that. Oh, fucking... Normally, like, when I travel, it's pretty smooth and I'm a good driver.

Everything went wrong. Don't forget, we watched you drive to front. No, I don't know what it is. Not a good driver. He used to his Tesla now, which keeps him in the road and stuff. Oh, no, this car kept doing, like, the automatic, like, corrections. What, like Tesla? That's what you're, I bet it had three wheel and you're not used to drive and proper anymore.

No, I do all fully manual on the Tessie. On the Tessie. Kessie. Anyways, everything went wrong and, uh... Yeah. Well, that's up the end. I'm kidding now. I can't believe.

Good trip, though. Having that. Well, I'm glad you had a good time. Oh, do you know what it is? Did it a bit of stalking. Says Bill Gates. When I was on all day, to be fair, I was seeing yachts and I've seen a TikTok about how you can find out who's the arse.

You can just type in their reg play. I was trying to, oh, I was doing it from differently because it's further. You know, there's like a, you know like flight tracker? Yeah. There's that for boat. It is funny, fun to see who's... But apparently, this boat, this yacht he adds. What a yacht?

It's worth 600 mil. He bought it, like, he got it personally made for him. Then he said he didn't want it. So he's trying to sell it if you're interested. Oh, thanks. Yeah, he's in Abramovich's still docked in Gibraltar. We googled it. Only like 30 people in the world.

They're just stuck in the harbour and they're just ported. It costs him seven... Abramvich has been seized, ain't it? Bill Gates cost him 70 million a year to keep, like, running. Fucking hell. Yeah. Only like 30 people can actually buy them. Would they have full-time staff?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's a good one. Do you know how you know it's Bill Gates's yacht? Why? He's got windows. Right, has anyone got a crabby corner this week? Oh, yeah. He does.

Do I? Yeah, you probably. Displayed flights. Oh, my God. Oh, right. Oh, I will join him in a house. That's the same one as your one then, just in a different part of the weekend. I had a delayed flight home, and basically they gave me a four-hour delay

and reimbursed me with six pounds. No, I saw the screenshot. You said, you got $6.50. Sorry. $6.50 food out of you. EasyJet. B.A. Friend of the shore.

Do you know what EasyJet gave us? Six pound. Ah. Me and Jody. A couple. So three pound each. Oh, we got 13 quid, basically. Yeah, you're fucking beastler.

A lot of play 13 quid. That's worth it. Yeah, it's not even things being delayed and cancelled. No, I'm not, I'm less so bothered about, like. Wait, what was that? It's trying to chip in, I think. Was that a dig at something? I was just going to lead into tube drivers.

Oh. True drivers. I don't, I mean, there's an element of me that can kind of forgive delay. But just be transparent about how long it's going to be. Like if it's a three-hour delay, just say from as soon as it gets delayed, you're going to be waiting here three hours. Don't go, we'll update you in 30 minutes. You know the trick that, and then keep doing it.

You know the trick they like to pull? You know when we got on the plane, and then they say it's another two and a half hours. And they always like to tell us, oh, we're going to try and get an earlier stop. That's why we need you on the plane. Is that true? No, it's not.

They've got us on the plane so we can't claim. Yes. I think what it, but also, the one I thought was bad. There was nearly all the jet two flights were delayed. I don't know. Can't do it. Nothing beats a jet two holiday.

Yes. But my, ours only delayed, like half hour. And then there was another one, like two hours. But the Gatwick one just said delayed. Yeah. Hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got there, because it was half hour delay.

We were there like two hours before the flights. We were there like three hours. The whole time delayed until we boarded. I think they were meant to fly at like half nine, and it changed to 10 past four in the morning. Oh, my. And I was like, imagine if you've got like kids and that, that must be a living hell. And it's not even like they changed it to, I don't know, the next evening so you can go and get a hotel. They obviously don't 410 to avoid that.

But fucking, imagine having kids when you, by the way, like that. I'd probably just not get a brain. Yeah. It is, an air travelist can be just so. I just, I wish I was rich enough just to get private jets everywhere. Yeah. So much easier, wouldn't it? You probably could actually, say.

Well, sad thing about private jets is that when there is a storm, they still can't fly. My delay wasn't actually due to a storm, but my delay. What is this episode? Do you want to know what my day? Do you want to know what my delay was due to? Technical issues. Yeah, but do you want to know what the... Yeah, yeah, tell me.

So, you know, BA has a business section. They move a curtain forwards and backwards. Oh, yeah? Depending on how many seats are built for business. Don't tell me the curtains were broke. They snapped the curtain and there was plastic sticks overhanging, so it took them an hour and a half to remove the entire curtain unit, so we had to stay and wait for that because they couldn't take it down.

Why couldn't they just leave it? You know why my flight was delayed on the way out? Oh, boy. This is serious. The plane was in San Francisco. And it had to get new tires. So how was that interesting for anyone? So before it...

So before it flew to Gat, we had to do... We just had one of that. We've literally... By the last pod was the best, funniest pod we've ever had, doing the best numbers. You've come back and you're talking about tire changes in Santorini. Talked about Kerr changes. That knew as well.

You fucking boring fuckers. Let's talk about putting things up our asses. What's the biggest thing you put up your ass for 10%? you put up your ass for 10 pound. Uh, your cock. What's the gayest thing you've done this week? Talk to you. Yeah.

Go to a gear bar. I found, if someone give me a tip in the toilet, actually. Oh! Oh! Yeah! Yeah! Ah! Are you happy now?

We're back. For one of the nose. Right, let's do a game of gas gobbled. They were getting so pissed off of me. He's still talking. About the most boring story I've ever heard. Right. Story number one.

Octopus-inspired robots are now being used in Italy to help harvest grapes. The soft tentacle-like arms gently plucked bunches without damaging them. You know what? That's so true. Oh, is it, boy. Number two. I reckon because it's- Wait.

A man in Florida was arrested after. after trying to cross the Atlantic in a home-made hamster wheel. Yeah, that's got to be... That's true. He was... Wait, can I ask? Shush!

If that is... Let me just read them out. Then you can't die. He was found 70 miles off the coast before being stopped by the coast guard. Think about it. And the final one... What do you mean? Think about it.

What do you mean you can't die? If it's full of air, can't drown. What is... What the fuck are you seeing? Like, so if he... If it's in the middle of the Atlantic and big waves come, it would just get boing. Are you thinking...

Oh, you're an idiot. Shut up. Right. Number three, scientists in Norway have trained seagulls to deliver small parcels as part of a new eco-friendly delivery pilot ski. There'd be pigeons, wouldn't it? Yeah, that's...

By the way... Seagulls can't be trained. First of all, seagulls are the most dumbest animal on earth. Yeah, they're fucking doofus, Brian, like you. And there's shit all over everything and big burgers at your hands. Yeah. Well, that's the lot... That's the fake one.

Pigeons really make me sad, you know. Like, we just abandoned them. No, they abandoned us. No, we abandoned them. We bought them over, use them for World War, and then as soon as we didn't need them, we just left them, and now everyone throws bread at them. It doesn't just World War.

They used them in Medieval. Bread at him. Yeah. Well, by Tyson loved pigeons. And they used them in Hogwarts. So did the Medieval. That's ours. Oh, nibble.

What's the first one again? The first one was Octopus. What I think they're done there is, like, they've called it an octopus robot, but really it's just the thing with... Yeah, we said. Yeah, Octopus inspired. He's not saying it's an octoberus.

It doesn't say it's a fucking giant robotic octopus. Obviously true. I think that would take more time. How do we pick them now with hands? Yeah. Yeah, presumably. Fucking hell. It takes age that.

You know what I remember seeing Jeremy Clarkson's berry picking machine he got on his Yeah, on his bushes. On his bushes, yeah, but obviously there's a wall in the way. Yeah. Anyway, should get back to the game? Yeah, go on. Explain the, give us more on the octopus then. That's all I got.

What does that? I want to know about this. I want to know about this. This Florida man? That's all I got. I've read it all out. Fucking I'll not me have more info. Yeah.

No, I know, but I've tried to do it shorter this time because then I usually get caught out. You do lose every time now. The more, the more I give info, then the more one, I chip myself up. 70 miles is a long way. That's a long time to be walking. Would you not get tired, overheat? Oh my God. I bet it gets really hot in that ball.

Yeah, but the thing is, he's from Florida, so he doesn't really think about these things. Also, how did he breathe through the halls? wouldn't you just drown? Yeah. No, does it always stay buoyant? Well, no, think about it. Lewis, how are you imagining the air hold? No, here we go.

If there's air holes, when he's spinning on the water, slowly water will get in. No, no, no. Here and heavier. No, it'll sink and it'll die. It's one of those where it's not a complete ball. It'll have, like, lots of holes in, but the pattern, like, goes around it.

Azoab? Yeah, like, a Zorb. That's what I'm picturing. No. Yeah, but it's like the same way. It's the same way of rubber ring will not sink because there's a hole in, equally as there's,

there's a hole for the water to come in. No, there's a hole for the water to come in, but there's holes for water to come out. So we'll always stay a floor. But the point of a hamster wheel is you're, you're propelling the. Are you fit? Wait, there's no holes in a rubber ring.

Yes, there is one. There is one hole in a rubber ring. That's how rubber ring works. No, no, no, the donut hole is the hole. As in, you're exposed to the air. Oh yeah, no. There's a hole in the rubber ring, but he's talking about,

oh, fuck, this is horrible. There's a hole in the rubber ring. This is absolutely. It's like a donut on the wall with me. Is there a hole in the rubber ring. Is that just empty space in the middle of the actual thing? What do you think? Please, can we stop?

Because if there was a hole in the rubber ring, it would burst, it would go flat. What the fuck are you saying? Yeah. Don't look at me like, by the way. It's quite obvious, no, it's not. No, it's not. You're about a thing, you're right.

It's a three-dimensional thing. Okay, when you put a hole in the rubber ring, what happens to it? No, it has, there is a hole in it, in the middle. There's a big one in the middle. Put a hole, yeah, yeah. Penetrating a hole in the inflated.

inflatable bit would obviously would deflate it it's a ring shape and it and if you put a hole in it what you're saying oh my god it's by the way these lots i know you know what i'm talking you are no they're actually trying to turn you off at this point you must understand what i'm not trying to say you're wrong i don't understand anything you've just said okay so if you put a hole in can we please ignore him and carry on with the game because he's i'm gonna absolutely shoot myself twice in the face so technically even though yes it looks like there's a a ring-shaped hole in the middle. That's not part of the rubber ring. Leo, Theo, Theo, fuck on. You see what I'm saying?

It's just, is that a hole? Is that a hole? Is that a hole? I don't know anymore. Is it part of the, is it part of the fish? I don't know anymore. Is that a hole? Theo. Theo, and he's that. He doesn't need a closer look. Is that a hole? Let me see. Yes or no. I can't see. I can't see. Look on. No, go on. Let's see what you're going to come up with then. Because you have to have a closer look at it, apparently. Apparently, if you're listening, it's a piece of cellar tape. We're not asking if there's a hole in the tape.

It's some cellar tip we're looking up right now. I can put a hole in it. What is going on, man? Then that would be two holes. Okay, here's the hole. I'm genuinely getting annoying now, so he's working. I know he's trying to rage, but he's actually annoying me. Same space. Is a hole still here?

What are you saying? What are you saying? You must understand what I'm saying. No, I don't. No. Shut the fuck up. You don't. You don't.

I know. Oh my God. I know you get it a little bit. No, I don't. Stop seeing that. Stop seeing that. So you're saying, you're saying the hole remains there, even though you've moved the object. Now I'm saying that's what you've apparently.

Is that a hole? No, I don't. You don't understand what a fucking hamster wheel is to begin with. You've said it's a fucking robber ring. It's not a circle. It's a three-dimensional. This is a circle. Circles are 2D.

That's not a circle. It's a cylinder. What shape is this? It's a cylinder. Would you say it's... With the hole in? Have you printed it onto a bit of paper? It creates a circle.

Yeah, because that's the... That's the cylinder, is it a circle? It's a cylinder of tape. That can't be a cylinder, though. Is it a circle flat? Theo, circles are 2D. Yeah, but... Yeah, but come on.

Circles a two-d. But would you say it's a circular shape? It's got a hole in the middle. You say it's a circular shape. Oh, I'm thinking of a sphere. Yeah. If you look at a circular-shaped object... Theo.

Oh my God. Yeah, the face of it is circular. The face of that tape is a circle. Yeah. That doesn't make the... thing a circle. Yeah. You're not holding a circle in your hand. That's a three dimensional object. If I said, but if I, we have, previous to this discussion, if I said to you what state of this, all of you would say a circle. I wouldn't say a circle because it's

not a circle. I'm stupid like that, so. A circle is flat. They are right. I know, I know, but what do you have said realistically? That's not a circle, no. We would have said it. It's not a circle me. Also, I think is the octopus. By the way, they've, they've corrected you by say no, it's a cylinder. And then you've gone, yeah, but you would have said it's a They've literally just corrected you. You are so infuriating. I want to die. All right, sorry.

The answer is the seagulls. Okay, right. You've gone off the first thing. You've gone seagulls. You can't train those shitties or seagulls. Fucking ate them so much. I was one to walking down the street in the evening. Oh, shut the fuck up.

No, no, no. No, no, no, right. So you're going with, so you've gone with, so you're locking in, are you locking in, Are you locking in the Seagulls? Are you locking in the Seagulls? Fuck, yeah, I don't know, yeah. I want to hear the Seagull story.

Are we finishing? I want to hear a Seagull East. I want to finish this game and leave, because I'm going to fucking drown myself. It might be detrimental. I'm being held hostage by his story here. Oh, no. It might be important to our decision.

Can we just finish the game? Please, it may help. Can we finish the game? I do want to know. No, right, you've locked it in. Right, okay. Change my mind. Yeah, you're right.

The seagull's the face. story well done you win sorry why i feel have you ever let me that's not how you started it just go back yeah yeah just tell the story no no no not have you ever not do you do this tell the story tell the story you're asking a question you're asking a question now it's having the scene no no no no no just tell the story tell the story I promise you this is no no no no no because Theo you're going I've got a story and then you start asking a question just tell the story I went tell a story they ask questions No, no, no, no, no, they don't.

No, they don't. No, they don't. Right, I've got, I've got a TED talk. Of course, I've got a, question to engage the audience. You clearly don't know what the fuck. Thiel, start the story. I have a story for you.

How long's your cock? What the fuck, like, just tell the story. Right, everyone cut down. Right, one thing, one thing before we go. I'm out. Okay, everyone time out. See all, I'm gonna send Tom's frustration, but I also wanna hear your story.

Your story initially started with, I was walking down the road in Stephen. No, no, no, your story now, I'll better start with that. Because that's what it was. I was walking down the road in Eastbourne. There we go. And I looked down, I looked, and I looked down at my burger.

And I had, after the first bite of this quarter pounder with cheese, only cheese and ketchup. By the way, how would this ever have been started with, have you ever? This is a story what he's saying right. Because I'm about to now on. No, no, no, no. And as I bit into that burger, it was the most moist, perfect quarter pound I've ever had in my life. Why do you only have memories for food, by the way? Had you ever had anything?

Have you ever had that moment with a bit of food when you think to yourself that's perfect? It doesn't matter. Just tell your story. You've had that, yeah? You must have had it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I have every day, yeah.

After I go in for maybe the third bite, so I'm only two bites in. Fucking, oh, that was a key part. Superman. A seagull takes the whole fucking thing out of my hand. The whole bird. How weak is your dog? Is that it?

And you go, ah! Oh, ah! The wing. Stayed me in the head. Like a dove. The wings like hit me in the head. It was like an attack. And I looked down.

It's gone. A Siegel stole your burger. Fuck me. Jamie, pull the brief back up. I'm gonna fucking die. It's taken it out of my... It's not like a burg on the side. Yeah.

Out of my hand. And that was your logic as to why they can't be trained. And what I asked to you is, you know when you have that perfect food you're talking about you're thinking about right now? Yeah. Imagine. I'm gonna quit this podcast. You'd be heartbroken, wouldn't you? That is sad.

It wouldn't really work with all foods, like spaghetti. It wouldn't be able to get. And I remember it. I remember it to this day. Yeah, my first mistake that I was dreaming of. You know what? You know what's funny as well? You know, I told you about the wing hitting me?

You didn't actually. I did. I literally mentioned about the wing hitting. Yeah, I had like a bruise here. Everyone thought it's a love bite. And I didn't, I didn't know how to explain to people that actually it was a sea girl that stole a sandwich out my hand. So what did you tell them? It was a sea girl actually, not loved by it.

Right, so you did tell them it? I did, yeah. Your word of it. It would have been quite cool for me to be like, Yeah, it's a love bite from bird. Your work. It was a love by from a bird. Your work per minute ratio, this podcast,

is like Leon Al Messi's numbers. Leigh and now messy. Leon Al Messi. Okay, anyway. Guys, maybe no, we are going. Before we keep going, feel any of the stories that sprung to your mind before we hit into this next section.

I'm like, fucking out. I just want to go to a nice cafe. And Vic was like, oh, no. You had to find somewhere that had chicken. And then we sat down, order the food. My God, the worst fucking food I've ever had in my life. It was like flies were eating it. Like, a mine looked like a school dinner, just slapped cold pasta with a bit of crap on it.

And then the wasps came, and then they started eating all the foods. We just left. Then we're like, oh, let's check out the Google review of this place. Guess the review. Guess the stars. Four, five. 1.2 oh oh i never i don't think i've ever seen that's the lowest i don't think i've ever seen some and over 500 reviews and i've net 500 reviewed 1.2 i'd never in my life seen a 1.2 in my life in my life i've never

seen 1.2 in my life that's classed all right anyway anyways about food we're now going to change the topic to more food that's raw meal oh yeah Wyatt, I think a nice chateau brewed. Oh, are we, yeah, because we're, so right, guys, what we're going to do is we're going to blind rank death row meals. Now, we've spoken about our own death row meals before on the pod. I'm pretty sure he was running the early out of the road. Yeah.

But we're going to blind rank actual pre-existing death row meals. What's that mean? They are in the, they are in the world. These meals were real death row meals at one point. Once people. Oh. I probably know all these. What did Ted Bundy have?

What the Dharma have? Stop tapping. Is it one, yeah, Lewis. Is it one to ten or one to five? One to five. We're doing blind ranking one to five.

Okay, first. The odds are really struggling to contain your thoughts. Fucking hell. Godzilla over there. It's fucking bursting. Would you have a nice Chateaubriand,

though? Chateaubriand of Tart. Okay. And then I have mac and cheese. Oh, you're in part of a good waffling episode after this. Oh, I'll tell you what, I fucking love a black lock.

A block is Mondays, guys, 50% off. Don't say, I didn't warn you. Can we do this, please? Ronnie Lee Gardner was put to death. Right, right, show the fuck off. Oh, I wouldn't have to touch this one. Right, don't spoil what it is for the listener. Don't spoil what is for the listener.

Oh, mate, what a vibe this is. Ronnie Lee Gardner was put to death in Utah by firing squad at the age of 49. He was sentenced to death for burglary, robbery, which are the same things. the two counts of murder. No, they're not. That's not. For two counts... Burglary and Robbery are not.

Okay, does it matter? By the way, yes, they are. Nope, they're not. Yep. Nope, they're not, though. Let's stop, because you'd think that's not a fucking hole in the salad tape, mate.

For his last meal, Gardner requested steak, a lobster tail, apple pie, vanilla ice cream, and to eat it while all watching the Lord of the Ring trilogy. That's a banger. That's a banger.

Lord of the ring. I can't eat a little three more. I can't eat a little bit more. I can't. I can't. I can't comment on another ring, because I've never seen it. I like to say it seems pretty popular. I like to say there's no sauce there.

There's not any side. No, they would have been like cooking like butter and stuff. But I think you need a side with that, like some chips of garlic bread or like. Also, not surfing's hurt. Also, I reckon, Lou, that's an AI image of. Yeah. By the way. That's not his actual.

Can you tell me? I have a problem with death row meals. Why the, fuck off. You can, you know. How about, how about no? Do you know what I mean? Like he just murdered two women And then like, he's like, oh, I love the steak, medium rare

I love the, I love the lobster tail, apple pie as well. Oh, get me the new lobster. Like in the end of minority report, mate, You've just fucking said your stuff up there, How do you know that happened? How about, you're Robbie Lee Gardner? Two counts of murder. Ronnie.

How about a shit on this plate? How about a shit on this plate, Ronnie? And, yeah. Also, also, I know what he did. Done here, by the way. I know, exactly. If he's watching... They're fucking idiot.

A pair of them. What? He's got him just boring the life out of everyone and just talking shit. Any word, any thought that comes into his brain, he's food. He can't fucking read. And he just assumes two counts of murder are women being killed. Well, most likely, he always murder women. Who's they?

Murderers. We haven't even thought about it. He's got them on his fuck. He's got his fucking design on his things. How could you even see? They're mental. How can you even see this? I didn't know that you're allowed to watch a film

whilst your death remial, it might be different. If he's done the Lord of Dring's Trilogy extended edition. Oh, look. He's buying a lot of time there, right? Yeah, it's not like another 20 hours. I'll go for the Star Wars saga, please. Oh, yeah, can I have breaking bad at all season, please? But do you not agree, like, surely you're not going to get this, mate.

You murdered me, ma'am? I don't know, that's what you'd be like. He's like, no, you can have shit on a play. By the way, Lewis. Burglary. I don't know how he does, burglary is unlawful entry and intent to commit a crime, aka breaking an entry.

Robbery is directly. No, that's breaking an entry. No, but it's called burglary. No, but robbery is, if you're burglar, you're still. You're wrong. You can't rob a house. You can burgle a house. You can burgle a person.

Of course you can't. You can't burgle a person. You can't burgl them? No. That's robbery. That's robbery. You've robbed it. Robbed him.

Anyway. I'm gonna go number two. Robby Lee with robbery. Oh, that's number one. What do we... Are we blind ranking? Are we blind rankings? That's number one.

That's three. I think two's a safe bet. That is number one. If a double deck and his Domino's Pisa comes up, you're gonna be fucking crying about this than I am taking that. Ludge, you have to remember. We have fucking death raw meals like they're all gonna be that they're gonna be some unreal meals no no that's not

gonna be lewis does it get better second is fine oh my god second that is that what okay all right let me ask you what beat steak apple pie and lord of the rings uh having sticky toffee pudding and watching goal well more food as well sticky toffee pudding and goal are gonna come up neck right brie all right if that is true if that happens by oh you know you can leave that's number one you're not full after that meal we could that we could get bonofy pie and shawshank redemption yeah That's three lads, lads. We can't go early. It's two.

You, he's gone one. You've gone one, you've gone three. We've gone two. No one else is allowed to watch a film. It's like, it's Ronnie. You would have gone one this early. Or like, or like Wagyu beef and the in between. What do you look like?

No one. He's your dad. All right, go next. We're going number two. Why are you so interested in the wrong parts of... I'm interested in the murderer. I put it as one personally. Why?

Well, maybe, like, if Geoffrey Darner wanted like Pig's heart, then you'd like, Like, whoa. No, Jeffrey Darmor, I don't think that. No, but do you know what I mean? Like, it was full, isn't it? I feel like the meal represents the murderer. Big sausage. Jeffrey Dama.

There was also one. There was one I remember reading that, or requested a bucket of dirt, and they didn't do it. They just gave him the normal food. There's another guy who only had an olive because he said, with the pipping and et it because he said he wanted to grow into an olive tree. Olives are shit. I like olive. I like olive.

I like olive. Why? Olive trees are nice. Next one, next one. So how'd you know this shit? We've not seen once and he can't be that good. Next one guys. I've seen the Grand Canyon.

That's pretty fun. Oh, I've seen this one. That's already better. No, it's not. Who's reading it out? 12 fried shrimp, a bucket of original recipe KFC, French fries and a pound of strawberries. That's so weird.

That is good. Convicted Gary managed three kids. Gary! You are fucking different. Lou. Gary? By Reddit, Gary is fell in my head. He's one of the most famous fucking serial killers ever.

Who did he murder? Is he dressed as a car? Loads of kids, yeah. As a cow? A clown. He's a clown killer. He's a lot to piss me up. He murdered lots of kids.

Why the fuck are we giving them shrimp? It's just a part of death row. But how about fuck off? Well, this is why I don't agree with death row. They should, he should have rotted in jail his whole life. He shouldn't be, he shouldn't get away with being killed and then giving a fucking nice meal. He should just rot. Oh, oh, you give him.

this is what this is a pen knife and make him feel well yeah but then there's then that's the philosophical question of do two wrongs make a right there what gives you the right to kill him because he killed someone else all right then so then because you've killed him people have the right to kill you okay because his mom have the right to kill you then okay uh we put him in a masher machine who who does we've brought or we press the right now also those things that you're chatting shit there's no way you can do that someone what push her one in a masher machine you can do that masham machine i would have to i don't work at the i don't know by the way i don't have to i don't work at the police station

yeah yeah a mash machine so what why does who gives the police the right to do that you don't wait we're there pause you know what the machine is that's not the like it's got like the stuff and james bond really old james bond had it like a meat grinder mash a machine also louis what if it came out what if it came out that like 10 years after he's killed, DNA actually proved it was someone else and not him. I think we were, it was in, like. Yeah, it was John Wayne Garry.

Right, we were like, we're like, Gary, you have the Kyle Mayacup, you've got a bloody knife and the kids' dead bodies in your pavement. Yeah, but there's always... Anyway, we're not here to discuss their family. I'm going to go four. In your pavement. That's a two on the plate?

No. We've already got two. Where are the fried... Where are the fried shrimp from? KFC. They don't need fry shrimp. I think they sourced it from So well

Do you know when they get a steak? I thought he asked Where's the fries? I got a question I got a question please So say the steak one Who cooks the steak? The chef

I don't know It'd be a pretty chef Because prison chefs Are you know that? Well, because the prisoners No, they're not No, they're not The prisoners do it

Not all these You're right there Well then they'll be not You can also request Like who cooks it Oh yeah All of their board, no, no, no, no, like, within reason, like, you, it wouldn't be done by a fucking, a prisoner. Okay, no, how about this, right?

So say the ordered steak, I want it from a nice restaurant, you know, get out to a local one. How many prisons have a good steak restaurant nearby? It's traveling 40 minutes by the time it even reaches yet. To be fair, I always be prisons just in a town. Yeah, but you know I'm right. I don't, to honest, Louis, I don't have the answers to your question. I don't know what you want to say. What I was said earlier was, have you ever actually deeped it, though, like, imagine your own death row about to be ex-skinned.

You're not going to wake up tomorrow. that's kind of weird your head must not be able to commute well some of them set on death row for years some of them are on death row for like 20 years

yeah that's great and they're like yeah how much food did they get and they might just like get a message like next week you're gonna die but then they delay it and it's like another six months

it actually happens like that's mad pretty mad but they are horrible people I'm gonna vote I'm gonna vote number four for yeah is he the worst murderer as well

should we rank them as murderers as well no Louis please stop trying to make this even longer than it needs to be. You need to be nice. You need to stop, mate, I want to fucking, we've got another fucking show to do. Maybe don't.

They do. Oh, so I've got waffling out of this. Exactly. I'm waffling now. I'm not doing right now. Right. What are we doing for? Oh, Stephen Anderson.

Go on, Marie. Put to death in California by lethal injection, a.k.a. FIFA player at the age of 49. For his last meal, Anderson requested two grilled cheese sandwiches, a pint of cottage cheese. Oh. A hominy corn mixture.

A horny corn mixture. Chocolate chip ice cream and radishes. Five. Five. By the way, you can tell me. You can just tell. You should do it at KFC height. And also you should be the first one fucking first.

There's nothing beating a steak in order of the rings night. He abused Pamela as a kid. And Elliot. Elliot's dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seven pounds. Yeah, that is the meal of a seven-time murderer. Seven-time murder.

Yeah, five, five. World champion in a world. Seven-time balladorn. Seven-time murder. Yeah, five. That choice of radish. Right, the next one has got to go three or two. By the way, surely they spit it in a one.

Would you trust the prison guards making this? Should you put down to it as well? Why would you not put Lord of the Rings one first? Oh, here we go. Ted Bundy. Put to death in Florida by electric chair at the age of 43. Bundy declined a special meal so was given the traditional last meal

steak cooked medium rare eggs over easy hash browns toast with butter and jelly milk and juice jelly do you know what you need to consider it was for the death raw meal like your stomach is actually eating

because you're there and you're shit like your fucking shit stuff I'm gonna die like you'd have to just have soup I'm not sure these people would really care that they're dying I think I don't care who you are I think a lot of them is like Like epithetian, they don't care. You come to turn. You're there that long. They kill a lot of people as well.

I imagine they can't be that. Empathetic. Oh yeah, because I've been on death row. So we're saying three or one. Why not if they're fucked up? Probably. But no, no, when you can't eat before a meal. I mean, eat before a race.

I'd go three for this. Yeah, three. But he's gonna put a shit one last, man, to do us all. This isn't the exact meal. Yeah, Lord of the Rings makes the other one. Theo thinks Ted Bundy took this with a fucking camera on his head. No, they probably take pictures before they take No, they didn't

No, this is AI generated, I think That's not AI, you can tell It's AI Alright, so three I'm going to get three Which means The next one is number one It's going to be shit, isn't it?

Obviously, it's going to be shit Yeah, there you go A hundred and sixty-eight counts of murder So, Timothy Wow, Timothy McVeigh The American Terrorist Behind the Oklahoma City bombing Was put to death in Indiana

By lethal injection At the age of 33 He was sentenced to death for a 168 counts of murder. For his last meal, McVey requested two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream. I mean, it's a nice ice cream, but damn. That's a lot of volume. But surely you're just like, if you're the chef,

he was trying to, you're shitting in that or something. You know what I mean? But like, you're actually the chef. You're like, you spunking in it or something, I don't know. Why are you spunking in ice cream? You're not going to give him nice ice cream. When he's murdered 160 people, you'd be like, you're like, nope.

Me, having in 1995? I didn't even know about this. Yeah, there's a Netflix. stock on it pretty good the Oklahoma one yeah I think we've probably fucked the order there but that's about yeah I mean to be honest other than the last one which would I'd probably put last I've mint ice cream yeah Timothy McVeigh was moved down to the very bottom that's actually yeah yeah probably bang on it nice yeah not the best death from me of all time though no wow right anyway thanks for tuning in guys

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