Back Side - Tom RAGES At Rude Woman, Our BIGGEST Fears & Predicting Death Dates

Episode Date: July 31, 2025

If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, Catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. I think we just need more deadly animals in England. Imagine you had one T-Rex roaming around England. Badgers are scary. So then she starts scanning my bits and while I'm picking my stuff up, I went,

You're so rude, Lewis's death clock. And when you're likely to die. We're going to find out when or die. I want to be a mall. Arthur TV was right when he told me. Hello, welcome back to backside. Thanks for 50K. Thanks for 50K.

Is that what we do? Yeah, someone complained that we did. Thanks for 50K a couple weeks ago. But we did. It just didn't make the edit. It seemed to be thanks for 100K, you know. No, it's not. Very close.

I don't think so. I think we're more likely to start losing subs. What are we on? 50K. About 54. We hit 60K yet? No. I don't think we ever will.

Say thanks for 60K. But thanks for 50. Guys, let me... We know your haters, it's all right. Please subscribe, rhyming for one million. Message this podcast to all your mates in your contact list, telling them to subscribe and like. No, tell them to actually watch it, because you get really, like, cool and fun debates, like how small loses penis is. And who else the best ones?

So that's not a debate. That's a math debate. What's new but a cup? What's new but a cup? What? I don't know. It's something I'm trying to build me off. What's a new buttercup?

How's the new knee? It's going fine, moves about on that. Still wearing the same socks. And then Dandruff socks now. It's cringe that you're still wearing those socks. I have to? You don't. I thought the whole idea is we go away and do different things for a week

and then we come back and talk about those things and now you just turn up in the same clothes. I have to wear this. What do you mean? You don't. I do. You've never been... What have you done in the last week, Lou?

I've done it. I think I took mine off after a die. They didn't my head in. I've done loads of physio and that's it. I barely left the fucking house. I got really bad goat trash. From cycling with me. You've...

No, you've been... You're a streamer now, aren't you? I am a stream, actually. Did you get a new PC in the end? Yeah, it's basically, so I took all the ECOTK TikTok money and I just bought our PC with it the other day. How much did you get from the EKK TikTok money? I think you went over a PC. I've made a...

It's $1,100 but by the end of the month it'll be like a grand. We call it Eka Tikitok money. Eka ticketuck money. So yeah, yeah, who has the last laugh now? You're fucking dickhead. Well, he probably does.

He's probably going to be on like 3.m. Wait, how many videos? I've been doing like daily. Daily EKTK videos. What do you mean? How many videos is that? Like eight, nine, ten. Pretty good.

Your RPM must be mad on there. I get loads of like... It's weird, my RPM shipper. It gives you additional. bonus money because you call on it I had to look and like my additional bonus money

I'll get like $40 from a video but the additional bonus money is that $110 a camera shop dogs out people hear that by the other comments you've got your bear

and they're black as well your nails I got bitten by spider so he's been climbing for last two wait also you don't know that if that's true yeah Jamie came in

went ah it's a spider bite and then walked out and then by the way he's The other people have also said it looks like a bite. Spiders don't bite in England. Is that not?

From the silence The radioactive ones. Someone said they thought it was a horse fly bite. You would know that one. You know if you were bit by a horse fly. They're big. They're really, really sharp pain. And they all make big as well.

I don't know. I've only ever had one camp. I feel like horse flies are big. What horses? But they're like a really sharp, awful pain quickly. And then it goes, A little prick

How many times have you been bit more? I was camping and I was like What, ah, what the fuck was that? And it was like He did reenacted perfectly there Yeah, that's what it felt like It's really jarring, it was really like I had my sunglasses in my pocket

Is it jarring my g? And it was like, and it was like, am I hailer Rubbing it? Are we seriously? The spider's biting England because I've always thought they were sound here.

But they probably do But I doubt they're that venomous Are they? Black Widow baby Right, but they're definitely I don't know, Google it That creeps me out a little bit Now I know if they're biting me

That's a bit weird. I'm sitting everywhere. I don't think it's that common. I mean, how often does a spider crawling? Do you know, in your lifetime, you will eat your body weight of spiders and insects in your sleep. That's not true. That's completely mad.

That's true. It's true. No, no, no, no. Sources of your information is true. It isn't. That's been debunked. I get a more called coffin and stuff. It's because you ate a spider.

Yeah, because I saw like 83 kilos of insane. In your life. Well, you might, because you'll probably suck them up with your mouth breathing. I don't, I don't sleep them on that, though. I've got a good point. question for you, actually. This is a very philosophical question, in fact. Go on.

So, in your life, you will shed all your skin. Yep. And create new skin. Are you the same person? We've done this before. I'm running the ship of Theseus. Yes, you are. That's not the ship of the thing.

The skin of Lewisius. I wouldn't say your skin defines you as a person. It's more of your personality. Yeah. So you're a different, you know, same soul than a different person. You refresh your organs don't change. Everything else. Oh, they do.

They do. They regenerate. All they regenerate, brother. You have, every seven years, you have totally new cells. What, wait, what? I? I, including your brain. Google it, Jamie.

Pull that up. I don't get that, then. You get new brains? I'm confused now. I? So like, the life cycle of a cell is like seven years. So they basically, we refresh your cells. But the thing is, when does the seven years start?

Yeah, but they cut, I'm fucking, that's blown my mind. Does it start like? Yeah, the average lifespaners of all cells is seven to ten years. So they regenerate. How long are you not each other? Seven to ten years? We're different people. Different people to the previous versions of yourselves have died.

I don't get it, I'm confused. What do you think of the tastiest insect is? Cricket. Tasty's insect? Aye. Wichity grub. Scorpion. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, they have them.

Put a bit of vinegar on that. How about a dung beetle? Oh, or do they sit and shit in there? No, they roll up balls of shit, don't they? Do they? That's handy. Oh, mate, I was learning the other day about bees, right? And wasps and bees.

So basically, like, say you're a bee. Well, like, Brentford fans. Right, you wake up, you get out your little cell, and instantly you're like, right, I'm the bitch. So I go over, and I start carrying this, and I go feed all the other little baby bees in the cells. And we pick a queen, and all of us are going to feed that one more. But the current queen goes around the cells,

and if she sees one getting preferential treatment, she'll murder it, and then, like, you'll go out, and you get promoted to a general, and you go out. Oh, be more general? Yeah, and then you become a bodyguard on the dormit, you are not like if any bees from neighbouring hives you fucking beat the shit out of them yeah like they have like

yeah bees are great it's built into them but you're built and beat them yeah the fucking scorpion's not an insect by the way but carry yes it is I had to Google it because I wasn't sure it's an arachnid

who cares that's the same thing everyone knows what you mean you know it is shit though wasps yeah they are I went away recently and oh it ruined my time

really oh mate there was thousands there was like an in a problem Yeah Go on Say the word

You were gonna say Infestation Infestation Yeah And in Are you gonna call The organisation That

Uh What's the word? Wasn't dealing with them Yeah Yeah yeah Confused Where were you Oh he's a

Farmhouse Yeah very Very But the people Worker You went to Soh farmhouse Again

No it was last Like a couple weeks Go How often do you go There Been there Been there like twice In there

It was a couple A couple weeks ago I went there And before When Central C was there That was in March? Yeah So twice in my life

Twice this year What the other A man has a hobby No no No they're just saying You're very very What It's an expensive

Very out of course Do they have like pigs You'd actually go away To my beef Every week I've been to my beef every week I've been You're going on a two week

Holiday next week But your best Meets were weird Actually only 11 nights Now Oh I know Sorry

Anyways I put it Everyone All the employees Were getting stung There all the time Good But there were thousands Of wars

And do you know To ruin a meal Fucking wasps Ruins a meal Yeah, good Yeah, I turn to me Go home Fuck that

Hey, I go on You're inside, right? No, They get inside That's what I mean They're everywhere I'm sorry

That was a real issue Like Mission Impossible They're like Wossom They're breaking in Did you get any money back I should have asked Are you a member then

Yeah You are Yeah Of like Soho Fuck Mary You got some money Ain't you Not really

Oh How much is it I think it's I paid like a grand A year Oh Wish I I'd that to throw away, you know,

I tell you. What, I told, man. Or do the gym membership's included? Do you use that gym? How often do you go to that gym? All the time? No, you don't. He's fucking does it at all.

No, you don't. No, you're taught. He's trying to think of someone to say. He doesn't go. Go on. I'm having it from you. No! You talked about earlier when you said you didn't even look at the fucking

pizza hut prices because you don't care. Oh, yeah. No. No, that he's... No, that isn't what I said. He was on about all the deals you get, and I said, I'm lazy. I can't be asked to download the pizza or not.

You said, I don't even look at the fucking price. I didn't say that. Well, yeah, when it's 17 quid, I can afford that. That's fucking... That's fucking thought, isn't it, for a pizza? Is it? For a pizza and a drink? I don't think it's that bad.

With delivery, it's not that bad. That's why you do Papa Johns, mate. Anyway, no, so what do you get included with that? Is it all Sohos in the world? Yeah, all in the world, yeah. I think it's a lot of shit I think it's a big... That's not that bad

I think it's just a big status thing I'm like yeah Sohor House is shit But you could But then you also have to pay To go to Soho Farmhouse Yeah but you get members right But I was talking misses about this

It is when you're there It's actually just fucking ridiculous But you got to pay If you want to do a gym class You got to pay for the gym class You just said it was included No either gym is But if you want to do like a

Right Like a body pump or something like that So you're paying For the farmhouse one For like the room Paying oh you get the room for free No, you pay for the room. No, what I'm saying is that monthly fee

you pay for all, that's just access to everybody, yeah. Yeah, it is a bit ridiculous. But you have animals. It is good there, though. It is great. At the farmhouse, but it's not at, so her houses. Oh, don't get started and then my horses.

Fucking twat. Honestly, like, oh, we're going to a horse ride. Like, when there before, when on a horse ride? Like, last year. But my horse just didn't like the horse. That's three times. Oh, my God. Yeah, fairs to have been free time.

Oh, I'm here. My horse They were like Doughty When I got on the horse They were like Oh yeah Just so you know like

This is the Like The angry horse They gave you an angry horse Yeah and I was like Why did you a little bit Scared of horses Please don't do this

They're like yeah A little bit They're fucking armless Please don't do this They were like Yeah you're gonna have to ride On your own at the back So I was just on my own

The entire time That's what they told you You have to do No everyone else was up ahead like talking to each other I was on my own this angry horse you've been given

the angry horse so you're gonna have to be on your own at the back I'm well lonely please don't talk to us I'm like 45 minutes you just take it down

the old time road that's shit that was not good actually I couldn't even there's a couple sheep there net bit of chicken you touch his sheaf

it's a farm yard a farm yeah it's a farm yeah yeah when I went there weren't I think I saw many animals

I don't get it I was there a night though I just don't get it. It is good. It's really good. It's like a Cotswold's staycation kind of. It is very like the money. I mean, I wouldn't buy the money. I feel like, and maybe this may be in judgmental, but I feel like half the people there would be quite kind of just like very just like social beauty and pictory and dick eddy.

No, no, no, no. It went on and there. It's a lot older, just rich people. I mean, I think, surely not you mowing about people getting a camera out all the time. Bocking hell on that. Oh, geez. The cheek are you to moan about influences. Also, look, you're not allowed to take your photo and cameras out. Yeah, you can't tell you, you can't take your phones out. That's why, did I tell you when I got a lot of go, because you're not allowed to take pictures. Did I tell you, Jimmy O'Hara. I had my phone out.

You can have your phone, but you're not allowed to, like, video, take photos technically. Like, we're not being told off for taking a photo before. Oh, really? Yeah. Because I broke the rules when I went up to Jimmy O'Hara, and I got his digits. What? Because you're not allowed to get your phone out. Oh, is this in Sir Her house?

Yeah, when, he's had to. else and I was like oh Jimmy I don't know so I went up and I was like oh can I get your number we got pitch side you can come on he's like yeah yeah me but then he just like

didn't come on and then he went why did you get told off though no I didn't get told off but that's against the rules apparently how'd your phone you can get your phone out no there's a real boat you're not allowed to go up to people it's phone uh what what you can't socialise

everybody in the corner fucking playing star dude that's what they told him don't talk to anyone Because you're a plus six Probably because you fucking got your camera out Going, I'm fucking eight wasps

Anyway Yeah, yeah, Yeah, You've been by one I think that's where it stems from I only wouldn't But I was about

I'm on my bike My brother's the same I feel so pathetic But actually The problem is they can go again It ruins It's the worst bit It's genuinely

I'm not It sounds pathetic But it ruins It ruins my like experience They're not I mean I must admit

I know I do think they're overhated because I've only been stung once in my life by a wasp. Like, they're not that prolific. I think a lot of it is you can't remember, you can't remember how much it hurts. But I got, I got stung quite recently after not being stung for ages.

And I realized, I was like, oh, it's actually really, it's not that bad now. No, it's not that bad at all. When you really hurt when you were eight, it's because you were like a kid. But I had, like, my porridge and my honey,

and obviously they're going for the honey, and it's just ruining my eating experience. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? You know, when you just, you know, I'm terrified. Yeah, he doesn't share food. You know,

I'll admit it, I'm terrified of Watt. It's like my big fob, I fucking hate Wals. Is he fucking Goldie, lot? Is that your... That is my phobie, but I just... Don't dodge my bow-eds! Oh, we got to go, like, honey... Wasp the top of the lip?

Yeah. We should... Bekeepers. Oh, should we do all of our biggest fears? Oh, no, I don't want to do this. Yeah, let's do it. I can't... Because, Wasp's can't be number one.

I don't... My one is... My one is deep... You're scared of rollercoasters? Oh, I think... Yeah. The amount of times I've been at the front of the line, like at the ultimate and then backed out.

Wait, are you actually being serious? Yeah, I've never been, the only one they ever went on. No, if you want a Not on Towers blog, guys, then, uh... Nah, but not have... No, my biggest fear is Latinas with big tits. Oh, yeah, no, don't get them on the show. Oh, Scott, and I really hate VIP at Ocean Beach.

Oh! It terrifies me! You know, do you notice before you said the Ocean Beach part, he was going, Latinas with a bit less... Let's don't look like that. She's not Latino, is she? No. She's summit

She's got a stomach You know, aren't she? But that is, it was a joke What did you say? I said you Yeah I mean

No but It's a mixture of heights And do you know The feeling When you get the tingles When you drop in I don't like that And I don't like

We're not being in control Yeah We know That's a good point actually So do you like So do you like teacups Why did you just get so drunk No

No by the No I hear dizzyness Anything No, anything dizziness, I can't do. It's not fear, I just hate it. Roller coasters, I love, teacups are the worst thing on earth. Yeah, I'll not do anything like that. I think they're pretty fun.

Oh, nah, just like, I get well dizzy, well fast. Yeah, what's fun of being dizzy, you fucking weirdos? Just a bit like, oohie. A bit silly and goofy. That's why I never do balloons. Oh, yeah, wink, wing. Not really relevant, though, is it? It is, makes you dizzy, no.

No, it doesn't. Apparently. That's why I wouldn't do balloons and mushrooms. That's why I've not done it. I did dodging. Mushrooms don't make you dizzy? I thought it makes you dizzy? They're hallucinogens, aren't they?

You're not like... You fucking weird. I bet you get dizzy somehow. You don't. You will. But you go through like four vapes a day, so how does that work? Yeah. You actually?

No. You do. I did Dodgums at the weekend. That was fun. With all the kids. You are a weird though, mate. How many kids were there? Was there a lot of kids?

Is it fair? It was an over 18s festival. With dodgums. Yeah, why not? I think for stuff like that, they should have actual cars, like a crash-up Derby. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm sure that's well-funded, isn't it? You'll be right, just like fucking... And they just ran out of... Lou, you know why dodgms work? It's because when they bounce off each other, they don't break. No, they won't break that bad, though. What, smacking a car, smashing into each other. It should have gone down a motorway.

You got a little circle. I will say, you're paying like two quid to do your dodgums. Like, I don't want to get in a car when I'm at a festival and start cramming people. And you're pussy? What are you on the bar? It's not the vibe. and then just driving around. It's not the vibe.

That's not the vibe. Of course it is. Crashing cars is not a vibe. I just think dodgers. You don't go fast so you don't really get each other anymore. No, you do. You've got to do the whole police chase, take down. You got to build up a bit of speed.

Wow. You know when you drive up beyond a car and they get... Yeah, yeah, that's fun, man. It sounds fucking epic. Pit stop. Where was this festival? Redden. Where you went to Reading Festival?

No, it wasn't Redden Festival. What's the festival called? Cafe Mamba. A bifa thing? What? It was well random, yeah. It was really fun. That does actually sound pretty

It was like You'd like the tunes actually It was very like Yeah That's a big plight in our beer Cafe Mamba I guess we'll do We'll do bee keeping for you

We'll go to Alton Towers For me I don't mind bees Yeah bees are different To Wossp keeping Well what the fuck to was How do we We'll cover you in honey

And throw you out in a field Who do we have this argument with I can't remember Wasps Or is like wasps or rat We don't argue Like if you If you get rid of wasps

My case was you could get rid of Wasps and the world would be fine. If you get rid of bees, your world dies, right? Yeah, but also apparently you need wasps. Yeah, you do.

The ecosystem is built around the way it is now. Not wasps. Anything you take out will be effective. Okay, Hornets, gone. Yeah, they don't do much. They do, though. They'll do things you won't even realize. No, they don't, man.

They do. I'll just say things you don't realize. I don't know. I don't know the ins and outs of each animal and what they do. Hornets and wasps will have their play. I've never seen a hornet doing something. There'll be food for some emails.

I've never, I've never, You don't see him do, at least, at least right, the wasp you see he's on a flower doing something. The bee, he's doing the shit. We never see a hornet up to anything like that. How often do you see Hornets? I see them just dicking about. When? All they do is this.

Oh, shut up. Apparently they regulate populations of crop damaging insect. There you go. It's a lot of shit. And also, they will be food for something. Yeah, they're food for badgers and bears. Yeah. Hornets, that won't be that very nice.

They carry a tea boon, didn't they? Someone's watched Clarkson's farm recently. No, I had badges in my In my garden, didn't I? Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger. When I lived, the house you came through that I lived in Leicester. You had badges? We had a badger set in the back garden.

You did you develop TV? No, I didn't think. Did you see someone let off, like, ten poisonous pythons into England? No. Why'd they do that? I don't know, but it's not very good because they've been the X. Oh, yeah. Wow.

There's technically more than 10. I've always had the belief, right? I call me crazy here, but I've always thought this. You're crazy. I think the one, I genuinely think we should get, like five, ten lions, or something like that. There probably are ten lines in England. And you just let them free in England.

I think, I feel like, I think England, they get shot or they'd get, like, they wouldn't last more than two days. We grew up softer because we haven't got any, like, other predators. Like, in Australia, they're pretty cool, because if they see your snake, they're not like, ah! It's like, oh, it's fucking snike, mate,

and they'll just deal with it. I think we need... For the majority of Australians would probably freak out if they're not a snake. When you were a kid playing out, it would be so much more exciting if you knew there was a slight chance you would come across a lion. Probably not.

My parents probably wouldn't allow me to go out of it. In like major cities in Australia, snakes, you don't actually see snakes. That's what I'm saying. Majority of Australians won't be used to seeing snakes. So they have kangaroos who will square up on you. Also, you do realize there are snakes in England. Yeah, they're all.

Yeah, there are the shit, though. I don't know. I think we just need more dangerous animals. I imagine we just got like 100 kangaroos. Are you trying to say we're not under threat as a species and off? No, no, no, no, no, no, The warrior kangaroos dangerous. They're just squirts, you know, they start fucking...

No, they don't. They do, they fight. Not often. All right, they get dogs in Edlock. Cows, cows kill more people than... Are you suggesting our society should be in danger more coming from a guy that got taken down by a football? I think we just need more deadly animals in England.

Why? Just for a bit of fucking buzz. I always thought, like, imagine you had one T-Rex roaming around England. Do you want to know the most dangerous animals he got? Right, so you've gone from having ten lines to a time. It would be fucking, it would be fucking mince though. I got the five most dangerous animals in the UK. Go on.

Number one. Cow. Cow's up there. Wild, wild boar. No, cows kill a lot of people, but the wild boars are fucking vicious. Do you know, if you let off a normal pig into the forest, he will become a wild boar. It's not like a different breed. It's like, if you just make a pig wild, it will become a boar.

But like, it's evolution. No, it's evolution will switch and it'll start growing. You know when you put a horse in the wild, I swear down. You put a horse in the wild. it becomes a wild horse. No, because I don't think you know this, Theo, clearly. But boars have tusks and pigs don't. They have a little snout.

Even females. But like the evolution switches. Yeah, but what you're saying is you, hang on, that's not true. If you put a pig in the wild, if you put a pig in the wild, it won't just suddenly develop tusks. No, not like if it's grown up, but if you tick a little pig and you put it out wild, it's evolution, it will realize it is a wild pig. And it will become a boater and it'll start getting things to defend itself. What is the so? I promise you.

Can we Google that? I swear now that can't be right do do pigs in wild become boars I swear to God it's fucking mental

do you know the number two no domesticated pigs released in fuck me of course they wouldn't make they're a different

no I swear they're a different animal no with her Lou just accept you're wrong okay these feral pigs can exhibit traits similar to wild boars such as increased hair

larger high and legs and a flattened forehead. Yeah, that won't be. Wait, that won't be. Your whole argument was developed... That surely won't be the pig that is just released. It'll be the offspring. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Generations down. No, no, that is that pig. I just took it too far with the tusks. It'll just get very hairy, I guess. Well, number two is the red deer. 40,000 reports of injuries and fatalities. But accidental. Surely that means cows up there, then, in terms of danger.

Well, the deer's, like, get hit by cars, cause death. Well, shit, that's what I mean. It's not deer. Oh, second. It was dangerous animals. hit it with a car. Number three. Fossps.

And Hornet. Honey badgers got to be up there, surely. We haven't got... Number four is, feral dog. No. They're like the safaris. Soharic is number five. No way.

Honey badgers? They're in the desert. They hunt lions. Number six, you've got adders. UK's only venomous snake. Adders, yeah. See if honey badgers are in the UK. Seven is cattle.

They're not in the UK. No. No, the hunt lions. It's dangerous. They don't hunt lions They can kill lions But they don't hunt them It'll be in defence

Yeah They are fucking They are vicious They're fucking little bats are they They're not just in Africa though I'm scared They're not in England I don't know

I'm asking No UK doesn't have honey badges Damn They're bad Badgers are scary Badgers are scary Badgers are scary Damn

Anyway I think the most Dangerous animal Is your mother I think it's I think we should go To Thought Park Yeah I agree

No, because like this, I'm not enjoying like a really dull like roll call. I loved holding a fucking whatever it was on my arm. That's different because... Why is it different? Because I did that too and I'm scared of that. Sorry, no, no, no, I'm not having this.

You're all scared. You forced us to do or have forced to do. He didn't open the fucking anything as well. No, but, you know, I'm scared there. I'm scared of all the coasters. Also, in our defense, wasps, like, do sting and hurt whereas a roller coaster is actually fun. But also...

No, you didn't hold the spider. Also, to back the point even more, you have no. stay in the show anymore. Yeah. No. You have to do the producer says. The double standard from him's crazy.

I said you didn't hold a spider. He's like, yeah, but I didn't want to. No, I don't want to ride a roller coaster. You could kill me. Yeah, but you can come to the... A roller coaster... Oh, no way. In England.

You can still come to the theme park. There's nothing to stop you from coming to the theme park. Would you go in the banana boat? Would you go on the banana boat? No, I... You wouldn't go on the banana boat? I'd rather go on the ultimate than a dizzy thing. It's not dizzy.

What do you think of a banana boat? Mortion sickness. Oh my God. That's not what that is, is it? It's the one that goes up and down like that. Oh, I'm thinking of a log. We should go to... We should go to Ferrari World in Abu Dhabi.

Right. Fastest accelerating roller coaster in the world. Yeah, let's just go like now. Let's just go to Abu Dhabi, everyone. That's fucking... You got money you, like. Yeah, maybe you'll get to stowa over there. They don't have it there, Thomas.

Don't worry. Oh, he knows all the local... But it has just open one in Ibiza for you. Right. If you want to see Bucks... side gore, Thorpeak or whatever... We've got so many...

Orton Towers is better, isn't it? Orton Towers is better. We need to do his forfeit as well. The big of the Universal. We should fucking do Halloween night. Oh, actually.

What's it called? We've got two weeks before you... He's doing it with us as well. Yeah. You need to put that in. It's like two and a half weeks. I'll do the back sack and crack, yeah? And the tan.

I'm doing the tan. It was the back second cap. Shoot, so it was the time. When are we booking that in? What the fuck should I do both of your forfeits? I do by sack. What socks are they? moons? I don't know

I don't know I've got like moons on him It's C, C, C, C. Do you want to hear my voice note That everyone ignored and said Let's save it for show? Oh yeah, Reeves said Oh yeah, I didn't read it Oh, I did, I know you did Because he said he listened halfway through it

And then said I'm not bothering it. No, yeah You see it for the show Play it out loud It wasn't even that important Play out loud I can, I can recount the story Don't play it down I'm not

Play the voice note Okay It's not even I can't wait for this voice note man It's gonna be the best voice note ever in it He said he's got the... So if you listen to this, he said he has the funniest fucking story

you'll ever hear. Oh, here we go. Is that what you said? He said the funniest thing. He said it was fucking hysterical. Is it going to be hilarious? I'm just to be chatting and think. All right, here we go.

A little story time for your boys. Just finished my tempo run in Victoria Park. Tempo. I'm in strap. So my top was off. Took my strap off. Put my vest on. And as I was doing it,

this old woman came out with her daughter from Royal Inn, which is like one of the pubs, on Victoria Park and she comes over and she started following me I was like what the fuck's going on but only mind she's like a crackage

she's about 50 years old she's got a 17 year old 18 year old daughter in that region anyway following her she goes excuse me I went

yeah she said you're single went no I'm engaged to who she said to love my life which I was a bit cringing

of me she went to come at you went no like can I go now and then I'm engaged And her daughter was like, Mom, get away from him. He's engaged.

Barely my shit about, as I said, 14th. 50 years old. So, yeah, pretty funny. That is good to me there. I got to respect her forwardness. The impression's good. Literally, I started walking away from her.

And she genuinely was like a yard and a half behind me, following me. And I thought, what is actually going on here? You said the love of my life? Yeah, well, I was trying to cast her. reside. I didn't want to be like... The love of my life. I like the way he goes...

I tried to give her something very obvious to say like, leave me alone. And then she was like... Sounds like you were... Also, what else did you mean to say to... You engaged? To who? Like she's going to know. Megan. Whoever had it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give her home address.

Did the daughter look as mental as the... No, she looked like... He looked like she had to carry her mum around everywhere she was. Oh. It felt like that kind of relationship. Was it her weekend? I don't know, but she was either incredibly high or drunk

and her daughter was just like, come on, mom, get away from here. Oh, look, drugs don't work. They just make you worse, but I know I'll see your face again. But there you go, it was a very strange thing. I don't know why I said. And then what happened? Did you just start running again? No, I went into the shop and then she dragged.

He fucked around the back of a tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, so you were running with your top off? That's what you got. from the entire Why'd you have to run with your top off? Which is your top off?

But it wasn't even that hot It was raining This was Thursday Friday This was last week Well it wasn't Friday Because we were cycling Friday Thursday then it was Thursday

Wow fucking hell You the day police Doesn't matter The day police It was Thursday not Friday Yeah Anyway Any crubby corners this week

Lads Yeah wasps I don't think I have any Cruby Karner Crubbicana Oh, I've got one Oh, here we go Goodness me

So, you know the ball We went to in Shoreditch When we sat outside Oh, a strong room Yes So went there the other day Oh, I've got one for that Birds shitting on me

There you are Do you know So I went there to that When I said To you to come out Aye You know that bar The ball's upstairs

And it can get a bit packed And it can be a bit long There was a quiz night on When we went When we went last time Remember the last time us three went and I had to keep

getting drinks from upstairs full-on quiz and alright fuck yeah anyway so I'm upstairs

like waiting and cueing or whatever and there's like four people just stood up the bar like with a drink and I'm obviously thinking

oh they're obviously waiting for more drinks whatever so you start queuing as an English gentleman no so you stood there and that side was going down really slowly

and I'm like the fuck so I'm genuinely in the queue in the queue for a good 10 minutes because there's only two that's a small bar or anything like there's only two people serving but these people are just like

at the bar like the bar is genuinely like Reeve will tell you probably from Lewis to Theo you can't get many people up you can't get many people behind and they're just like and they're being so fucking loud

as well like and just like laughing and like high out with a drink and I'm like looking over getting I'm already getting angry Oh the fun place is here no no but I'm white I want a beer and it's hot and they're just,

and I'm like, I thought they were making it slow because they're ordering so many drinks. They weren't ordering. They're at the bar, just leaning up with their drink, just talking and laughing loudly. Well, you should have realised that sooner.

How the fuck? So the guy who was serving that side basically couldn't serve anyone because they're just at the bar not having a laugh. No, no. Yeah, so Binky's coming back from Australia. I think I thought you should have said,

oh, sorry, if you ordered. I did, I did after. Ten minutes later, mate. And then also the bartender should have been like, who's neck? Sorry, sorry, when I'm... Instead of just staring at them. Was you just stare...

No, you're missing the point. I say with the people at the bar. Yeah, what's the bartender doing? Just sat there. You're missing the point. I only noticed and said something when I got to my place in the queue where I'm next to them.

I'm like, are you being served? And they're like, oh yeah, we've served. I'm like, so can you... And also the bartender can't really see past them because they're all stood at the bar. I was a short king. I would say if on the crabby corner as well, put, like, can we put in queue?

At the bar as well Before Corby It used to be like It was a normal pub Like you You were in fine at bar No it's not It's shit

Before no no No no No it's like When there's like two lines It's like no Just get yourself in there Don't barge it all the way But get yourself in a hole

And wait And then see when you get up How are you on their side Shock you're on their side Torrey Oh right Ah Let me get this straight

Some Let me get this straight Get you drink And fuck off out the way How about that If it wasn't Pixie and Dinkie Whatever they are naming Fucking

Pixie and Dinky Rala from Claphampton. Yeah, they were very raw. If they were from fucking Wolverhampton. They're from... No, but no one from Wolverhampton would act that way in a pub. I actually think you've been really offensive. You're Q-phobic.

I don't mind queuing. I don't know that. I have no issue. Cueing. You're also... You're missing the point. I've got no issue of queuing. I have an issue with fucking idiots like that.

Make... slowing everything down for everyone else when you've already got your drink. And it's 30 degrees outside. fucking move, go outside There's also nowhere in that bar It's one of those bars You literally go in, get your drink and leave Maybe they wanted to chit-chat

Outside! Maybe they want to get sunburn Maybe they're ginger You're ginger-phobic There's covered bits of the bar With loads of space Yeah, that's what he thought Comment down below

Who is in the right? Sorry, there's no argument here I will find out of I think they're in the bar I think people are sorry with Pixie and Dinky I had... Picks your dinkman For my one, actually

I had someone for the first five-bedder I'm annoyed now I was just trying to wind you off Yeah No, they're right They're just It's a free world We know you'd agree

We know you'd agree Oh do you own that bit of land Oh right Oh right A bit like you at the golf day Yeah What When we went to play golf

In Liverpool We had You own the golf course We had booked that time Wait Wait wait You had booked your drink Time slot at the bar

I'm not about the time Move out of the day The golf day is to do with time We were lit So you were late So you were late So we don't get the slots It's how it works

I had someone for the first time Every my life Answer a phone behind me in a fucking cinema And was like It would turn his fucking phone off Oh I'm sorry Had the film

That's why Wait had the film It was mid film Like fucking T-Rex Jurassic Park I love dinosaurs And fucking His phone was going off

And I kept thinking it was the film And then next thing I know A phone rings And he goes Hello allow And he's there fucking behind me. I was like, I've never had that before. Let me guess you said nothing.

I started creasing to Charlie. It's the way he said it. Hello, hello? What cinema was it? What cinema was it? What cinema was it? Wait, hang on a second, Lewis. Lewis, can I?

But it's like there must be, like, you must be, I have questions about this. You're a bit of a mad case if you're answering a phone in the cinema. I have questions about this. The film starts. I don't even get, halfway through me. I don't even get a signal in cinema. started laughing making more noise probably in the phone call.

And then also, you know when he's on the phone call? Did he say, did he say like, hello? I can't talk right now, I've got to go, bye. No, this is the way you just went, hello, hello, and then heard nothing else. It was like, imagine like there's a T-Rex that chasing them down at a bore. And all you hear is, did it? Yeah, so he hung up after five seconds. I don't know.

It wasn't time. And I'm just sitting he said, hello, hello. That's all he said. That's all he said, yeah. That's the ax. Yeah, that's how he sounded. Where's he from? Wait, so he probably had his phone, nonstop calling him.

So he said, hello. No, the others were texts and the phone cool down. The others were text. How'd you know they were? Because they're different sounds. Oh, he had his phone on loud. That sounds like, oh, my phone was on loud. Oh, that's great.

I could think it was the film as well. Like vibrations, maybe. No, speaking of that, I, um, yeah, this is a big one, actually. I got really ira right the other day. You're very angry men, aren't you? Yeah. No, this is, this is, I wasn't angry at the Strong Room. That was called?

Strong Room, yeah. I wasn't angry. I was just, that was just, that was internal anger. This one I did say, so you're fucking rude. Yeah, I'm all over this. I went into the, so I went into the co-op. And by the way, you know, like, I don't know, offies or petrol stations,

behind the till, they tend to be on the phone. Because it's not like an off-lice or whatever. Yeah. But with a co-op, you think, it's like a test. The workers aren't going to be on their phone. Yeah. The woman's just on the phone as I go up,

put my thing down, because I had a bottle of wine and, so I didn't want to scan it because then I'd have to come over or that, whatever, just to save time. And she's just staring at me, and she's just on the phone, and I'm just stood there looking at her,

and she literally makes me way, I reckon a minute, while she's talking on the phone. It's supposed to be serving you? You just got, mate, you just got egoed. So I'm just stood there looking, looking around, there's no one behind me, there's no cue. She's just on the phone,

glancing at me, carrying on the phone. So then she starts scanning my bits, and she must... Start scanning the items And must like Fuck it up or do something And then I'm on the phone I'm like can I get a bag with that please

And again She doesn't say anything She just carries on the phone And I'm like Can I get a bag with that please And she's like And just points points down And there's like bags

But they're the bags for life I'm like I don't want a bag for life So can I just get a bag And she just went No bags, no bags I carried on the phone And then I'm grabbing myself I went

You're so fucking rude and just, I stormed that, I was fuming. So he said something and walked away. Oh, he ran away. What, fighter? Oh. He's supposed to have a little back of thought. You don't say, you're a sore fucking rude.

And then, print's how? You're so rude! No, no, no, no. No, no. You're rude. While I'm picking my stuff up, I went, you're so fucking rude. And then she just carried on a phone call?

Well, I mean, yeah, because you ran away. She couldn't really argue with you. Which part of this didn't you get? I'm stood there in front of her. No, you ran away. And then as you left, she was going, uh, yeah, he was about. 5-11

otherwise some brown hair six words there's a pattern between you to have noticed you get angry you don't say anything or you say something

and run away oh he's gonna bring up his tube story where he was like a badass now which by the way he said after they'd walk back to him

like what tube story well you can't remember you told it before where you went you're rude I did I did have this

you know when I told you about all those also I didn't I didn't want to like have a go but she really wound me sound like you did that's so rude

and I think from all these like local shop, shops down here, like the same reason that, like, down here, they're very not nice. Oh, I've never seen that in like, no, in London, I swear, when I'm back home, they're all lovely, like, when you go to a nice village one, they're all lovely, you have a nice chat,

in a chain, in a chain soup. Pace of life, isn't it? I've never seen a worker on, on the phone at a chain supermarket. It is crazy, ever. You don't think the common denominator in these situations is you guys here, though. I don't ever find myself in angry situations like this. I think because you've grown up with the fellow Tori, so you're used to

like, just being rude to each other, where you're I mean, you put manners and being polite. How dare you assume that that worker is as a Tory? That's not what he said. She's from a Tory part of the country. She's in London? London's not Tory. London's Labour.

I don't know. It was in Clapham, though. Yeah, I forgot to tell you about, you know, I talked about those crazy fan encounters in Marlowe. I forgot to say about it. It's all happened in the space of 10 minutes. Yeah. There I was. He was on a plane and he flew past him.

He said, quick, land the plane. I need to get a photo with you. So I made the pilot. No, I'm the insane sprees buying my like porridge or whatever. Does it matter what you were buying? Yeah, whatever I was always food. And I did what you did. I went up to the person because I thought it would be quicker.

And he's staring at my car, oh, here we go. And then I can tell he's like, he's going through his head. And I'll pay he goes, are you Albino? Are you Cal Frizi? Calphreasy. And I just go, no. And he goes, oh, I just walk off. Yeah.

He didn't question it. He didn't question it. After that, he said, oh, not Calphreasy. He wasn't when he stirred and fell away. I knew he was. Sorry, why would he die on that hill where you actually arm him? If you say no, he's not going to go, yeah, you are. Yeah, but you're mate.

It's like if you've seen that clip of George Michael and he doesn't get allowed into the arena. Yeah. He's literally in his car. And the guy comes over. He's like, Daddy fucking George Michael. I'd know George Michael if he's next to me. He doesn't let him in. He's like, mate, I'm performing.

Do I look like Cal Frizi? No. He looks more like Cal Frizi. I have a Cal Frizi little in me. You've got, you've had Cal Frizi in you? In me, on me. Sorry. Can I tell you my fact?

Yeah, go on. Oh, is this one from last week you didn't tell us? Yeah, man, this is pretty beast-morn. No, do you have any Cubby Corners? He's just a stoic man. Yeah, what did I say? What did I say? Yeah, Cracket's trying to fuck you.

Oh, I said. Getting shit on. Yeah, Cracket's trying to fuck me. and then getting shot on by birds. Oh, you did have a cool story, though, that happened at the weekend. Go on explain. I can't remember. When you went for the meal.

Well, this is riveting for the viewers. Oh, no, it wasn't that. It wasn't. Oh, yes. Yeah, this is, this is big time. Okay, yeah, fair enough. I forgot about this. Thanks for reminding me.

We went to this incredibly bougie Italian restaurant in Canary Wharf called Barabella. Oh, isn't that thing? his favourite place? A pixie? One dinky. Is it? What's it called? Barabella?

Barabella, yeah. I might have seen it on TikTok. It's made you really nice, isn't it? It was, oh, mate, the steak there. You had a steak in Italian? Yeah, like a Pavette steak. Yeah, like Italian's cook steak? Shut up.

Anyway, we were queuing because we hadn't put a reservation through, and it turns out the key was 45 minutes long. So we were like, fuck this, let's go local. somewhere, you know, because it's Canary Wharf, we'll find a good restaurant regardless. We were going on Hawksmore, Disham, you know, good alternatives. And the guy that was working on the door came out and went table for Ollie. And I was like, what the fuck? Didn't even give him my name.

He went table for three for Ollie. And we went, oh, there's four, actually. Come straight through. Oh, he's fucking mean. Bad ass. And you know what? Bad ass. All evening, Meg was going, I can't believe that's happened.

I just love you so much. I can't believe that's happened. ever find you hot. You're fucking... You're going to ride your life tonight. Ollie. Borderline. Wait, is...

I'm not trying to piss on your pride. Is there a chance? There was a... I said this. I said this. I said this. The only alternative that is realistic

is me just accepting somebody else's table who's also called Ollie. But then they would have had their table. They would have rocked up. Yeah. Yeah.

Reservation of you. More than likely. That's what I said. I do believe that. But did it? When you come out and said Table for Raleigh, did he point you out? Yeah. Okay, yeah, that's pretty cool.

I imagine you just took someone's tails. That's not cool he didn't say table for Reeve as well. Exactly. Table for Raleigh. That's what makes me think... It just wasn't for me. Oh, yeah. Surely he'd say Reeve. Oh, we should do it every week.

Unless he's a big fan. That's what I mean. Unless he knows my personal stuff, maybe. That was Beast Mode. I have to name one thing that's Beast Mode every week. That's the first time I've ever been in Placed out of the rest. Beesmode, wasn't it? Right.

Right, right, fuck that. I don't know what I did. I don't even know what I was trying to do. So you went base mode this week? Yeah. Well done. Oh, I did have a threesome with two men on Friday. Okay. Okay.

Again. Let me tell you about how a magician saved the world. Oh, right. Here we go. Okay, so it's 1974, boys, and his name is you... Easy, though? I? Is it?

Have you checked the date? No, pretty much. He's called Yuri Geller Yeah, I know Yuri Geller Everyone knows who Yuri Geller is Ideas? I don't know who Yuri Geller is You do He makes for like Michael Jackson

And that one So he's like a magician on that right I don't know who Yuri Geller is He's essentially he's a magician He's famous for like bend and metal He's not, he's a fraud But yeah Yeah, yeah

I'm gonna show you He's a famous He used to bend spoons and stuff You can bend metal on that Never seen him in my life He's pretty pretty smart Yeah, he's a complete fraud and charlatan but you're gonna find out that he's not um so he was well documented so he's like on the

come up and he's like he's bending metal and that and people are loving it like bending spoons and shit and he does like a tv show where he bends metal it's fake well by looking at it just by doing magical stuff yeah um anyways this woman this woman this pregnant woman rings up obviously not like that video without the without touching it yeah this pregnant woman uh rings up And she's like, I've got a fucking complaint. Oh, swearing. Are you sure she swore? Yuri Geller, you made me pregnant.

I don't think that's magic. I complain. I mean, it's the magic of life. He's like, I've not had sex with you. And he's like, I know you didn't. What he did was, he was watching the program. Oh, fuck off, Lewis. Allegedly, she claims, he bent the metal coil,

like the pregnancy coil. destroyed it and then therefore she fell pregnant yeah like this was like the level that he's on love to her boyfriend there so yeah but like she thought she was safe but did she know little did she know Yuri Geller had bent it through the telly like with his

magical is there proof of it being bent and ruined yeah yeah yeah you sure check that are you sure it's not that this coil or this they don't just bend how once are they going to bend no no no no I'm not saying that but they do fail

they're not 100% no it was bent it was like this yeah you check that I promise it was bent, no, like a bent coil in you. Yeah, I feel like you haven't checked that at all. They're only small like this. How do you know?

Only small. Research. He needs to be researching. Anyways, he went on, he was getting a bit more famous at this point, and he made a song. Yeah. And it was going big and all, like, radio DJs were playing it. Across the world, thousands of complaints coming in. What's the song called?

Can't remember. Starting receiving complaints, right. People's keys, cutlery, everything was bent. Colerie! Cotterbury There's a fox and that I don't know what cutlery is, yeah Cullery

So like they've been eating They're not They've been eating the fish and chips And then the next thing they know The forks like Sure it is, yeah Sure Sure

So this goes worldwide right Does it And Geller says If this kind of reaction continues It will be an important corroboration Of the theory that there is a new force In the world Like magneto

Essentially, yeah, this is 1970s, this is like a time of new science. A lot of ecstasy being taken. New science. A lot of LSD too. Anyways, the Norwegian Minister of Defence. Meth?

It's like, we're in a time of the Cold War. Like, shit's going on. We need to have a look at our defence and they're like, someone comes in up to the Ministerial. Yeah, yeah. He's like, I got an idea. Why doesn't he just like

bend, I don't know, what's made out of metal that's like used in Oh, a fence, like a metal. Yeah, let me just bend that. Good to get on. So the defense minister's like, this is, right, this sounds crazy. This guy.

And he comes over, he goes, this is the defense? He sounds crazy because it is. This guy, he's bending shit. Yeah, it comes to everybody, he goes, is this defense? What if? Defense, defense. Yeah, you don't have to repeat. He's like, what if we get him in and they have a chat with him, and he's like,

look, if a missile comes, can you? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was the chat. That was the chat that was the chat that happened with him. Anyway, so then he went, you do realize I'm actually not doing this. It's a magic trick. No, you, Geller's got powers.

He's standing like that under a missile and gets blown up. Even he's sort of like, I don't know how I'm doing this. No, he doesn't have powers. Well, the minister thinks he does. I don't care what the minister thinks. He doesn't. That's the defence minister is saying he has powers. I don't care.

The Norwegian defence minister. Oh, not the Norwegian defence minister. He hires Geller for like a six-month period on like just defence watch. just like if any missiles happen to come in we're not saying this is certainly going to work but we'd like the option we just like the option of having you there

in case something goes down anyways Geller's doing that he's building up his resume a bit and he's like down this is like a different career path who's that opens the door two men black suits right

oh here we got again no it's not them it's the it's the it's the 5 who is it again it's the fucking it's the Americans sorry what

what does that mean what does that mean I one of them I see I here Are you sure Men in Black FBI not the men of black Well you said they're in black seats

Knock on the door Yeah yeah It's the secret service It's the secret service Yuri Geller And they come in And essentially they're having problems With the Cold War

No you're having problems There's a guy called Corbachev Gorbachev right Yeah Gorbachev So Gorbachev I'll look

into this he's the what are we name? He's this Corbachev, Gorbachev, Gorbachev. He is the he's like the boss of like the Russians and that

so like Okay. How have we never heard of him? I wonder why we've never heard of it really. So like. The fact that Lewis has delved into this for five minutes and understood more about

Cold War than the entirety of America. So he's running like in the Cold War in like the world's on the brink and it's like it's the arms race and they're both getting fucking more more mental and it's like how are we going to stop each other.

Yeah. Americans go all right. Kiss. We're going to fly you out of Vienna and you're going to fucking do some stuff to him.

To who? You just said he bends metal, mate. He also does stuff with the mind. Oh, right. Oh, you're sorry. You realize.

He also does stuff for the mind. He would have helped you would have said that. So he's currently on like missile watching Norway, just checking the sky every day.

Freeland spaces. No, they're moving. Yeah, he's got to put a pin in that to do some mind bending. So he's like, sorry, but this is the best for no Asians on board like yeah stop the cold war

it's not good like so they fly them out to Vienna right get them all suited up and like they're having speeches and coincidentally oh right yeah yeah look coincidentally a week later

Gorbachev corbachev agrees to stand down from the arms race so make of that what you will but they deployed them out there and next thing you know he stood down and he went on to have a long career with the CIA

he was a very good secret service took him to Vienna, he saved the world, then he runs successful operations. Just a minor detail. He was running successful operations until he retired, and he went back to working on cruises to do his passion of magic.

From the FBI to cruises. No, CIA, Secret Service. By the way, this is all documented. He was saving the world, and then went back. He was a spy? What's that got to do with bending metal? That's how we started in the job.

He was bending spoons. And bending spoons to see I hear spy. Could it not be the other way around that that was a front? If he's a spy. What you mean? As in like that's a cover, that's a cover, isn't it? So you had to learn magic as a spy? That seems like to be overkill.

He already knew magic. Yeah, because spies don't do anything extra to cover that. No, my point is, he's not bending, if he's a magician, then obviously he's bending spoon with, like, no, no, it was using. We won't know how he's doing it. No, he's using his mind. No, he's not. Wait, Lewis, you know, he was using his mind.

He was using his mind. You know magic doesn't exist, right? Yes, this is my point. I believe, I know magic doesn't exist, but... How's he doing it then? There's forces out there that we might not know of. He's not doing anything with these... We all agree the pyramids were moved somehow.

No, if it was... Lewis, Lewis, do you think he's bending metal with his brain? You can't default to that every time. It's a possibility. You can't default to that every time you can't explain something. Well, how is he... Well, I don't know about this one, but how did it be the pyramids? How did he bend the woman's coil?

He didn't. He didn't. He didn't. He didn't. Stop laughing. I was surprised you haven't told us about the, like, the water docks underneath the pyramids and stuff that go up to the sky. He has done. We did that, didn't we?

We haven't done that yet, no. Anyways, anyways, we didn't. Anyways, this all have you then. So he goes on the cruisers and they're all like egg him on after he does his whole routine. And they're like, right, if you're also good of magic then, stop the cruise. And he's like, nah, lad, just late. and they're all like, no, stop the fucking cruise. That's how they stop, is it?

As it pulls into the harbour. Cruise completely, he's like, yeah, yeah, I'll stop it in about 10 minutes. Oh, I will do it, I promise. This is 2009, well documented, stops the cruise. They're all like, what the fuck's going on? Is it? Can we get a bit of research while he's talking this? The captain's like, what's going on, what's going on?

The engineers are looking, finally find out what it is. What's happened? The fuel pipes, the metal fuel pipes, the metal fuel pipe. he's done it he bent the metal fuel pipes with his mind can we get a check can we get a check on that please 2009 could have like just gone down there and done it

bent metal fuel pipes I don't know good he did a whole thick they'd be anyways so he went off in 2009 and bought an island less realistic doing that than doing it because this is where we come into it boys no Yuri Geller did not stop a cruise ship while he has claimed to have psychic abilities and has made various claims

about influencing events with his mind including stopping a ship in the Suez Canal there is no credible evidence to support these claims Geller is known for his spoonbending and other stage illusions while he has convinced some people

of his paranormal abilities many others including scientists and magicians have debunked him That's AI Of course AI is not going to tell us about other forces man That's what he did do it He used this fucking mind

How was people's coterie changing then He didn't worry He pissed me off man I'm right I've done me research It made me tired Powers broke What's this He's out and got

Geller's claims have been widely Let's scepticism Particularly from the scientific and magic communities Magician James Randy For example has publicly demonstrated How Geller's tricks

can be duplicated Using standard magic techniques He's a magician Right this is where we come into it That's not a fucking magician We can find out for ourselves line actually because you're gonna say in 2009

he bought an island off the coast of Scotland called Lamb Island Lama Lama Island Now he believed it was home to mystical Egyptian treasure Okay And it has a very big history with witch trials There and the treasure

Was brought there from an Egyptian pharaoh called Singris So he went around searching and that Using his metal powers like Or a metal detector Yeah Wait, the Egyptians New Scotland existed

Once this Ferros Ingris buried some treasure there But Hue himself buried his own treasure there including a crystal orb from Einstein Yet to be found to this day I propose What does that even mean? I propose we find out if this is true And we're going to treasure hunt to Lamb Island

Wait, wouldn't you have to just dig up? Sorry, you want us to cover the entire square footage of the island To see if someone's buried a little This clue Wait, wait, wait, go down, go down. How big is it? How big is it? Sky News.

Uniga thanks brave swimmers for collecting rock from Ireland in 2003. Has he been found? Is he still alive? Oh, my God. Oh, no, they found it. No, it's not Einstein's orb. What does that mean? It's not Einstein had an orb.

Did he though? Oh, is he made it off? What does that mean, though? What does Einstein's all mean? It's not all that orb is. I know what it is. It's like what he has? It's like, wait, wait, wait, guys.

The orb he's talking about is Geller spent a night on the island once, and he forgot to take this rock home with him after the experience of a mental promotional occasion. Einstein's orb. Where the fuck have you got this info from? Einstein's orb is real. Geller had it, and he's buried it there, along with the Egyptian treasure. That's true.

The Bearer-Singris went to the island and left treasure. Treasure is not a crazy thing. He left treasure himself. He's left albs. He claims it. There's no proof of any of this. He's a, he's a charlatan, mate. Uriegeller's Scottish Island. Let's go to Lamb Island and find the fucking orb, mate. What, what, what, you can't get there? I'm sorry, how, actually, okay, all right, he's bent your mind.

Brain of locks, right? Explain to me. He's bent your mind, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Explain to me how the cutter he's bending. Cutter, right? To people, everyone's lying. Thousands of people are lying. No, I think he probably either pays people or gets people in on the act. I got an idea, right? I'll search for his song.

I've got anything from metal in here. Lou, you can only get to the island by canoes. A little canoe there. I mean, that's technically metal, isn't it? The can. There's no wildlife in, isn't it? Yeah, it's metal. Right, we're there.

I'm going to find the song, and we'll hold out something metal. Oh, here we go. Yeah, in 2009, the Lamb Island was sold to Uruguilla for £30,000, who stated that he believed that it is hiding ancient treasure on it. ancient Egypt, he believed, there's no proof he thought that it was ancient Egypt. In mid-2020, Geller sought to declare Lamb as the Republic of Lamb, a micronation with his own national anthem. Geller also became the chairman of North Berwick Amateur's FC designated the Lamb's national football team. He's fucking mental. Right, I'll go.

No, he is, he's mental. He's mental. He's not, some of, some of the people. And frankly enough, he attracts people of the same. Yeah. People said Einstein was mental. Right. Yeah. Did they? Yes. Of course it was fun. Yeah, but they also, years later, calling me a genius. Yeah.

No one's calling that pre-gienious. He said a lot of stuff that actually ended up coming true. Yeah. Nothing he said or predicted has come true. And there's no fucking... Well, put it out. Fucking hell. What's going on?

No. What is this meaning? Oh, no! What's going on? No way! I can't believe it. That's... That light wasn't like that.

Oh my God. Guess where he used to live? Oh look, he's bending, he's bending. He used to live in Sonic. Is this his song? This is shit. By the way, this never, ever was played on the radio. Yeah, yeah.

Look, give it a chance. Lou, you might, you're going mental. You're going mental, Lou. Do we actually give a mental guy a sharp object like that and think it's okay? What am I looking at? You're just doing it towards him. That wasn't always like that, though. Well, it's not going to work on command, is it?

Right, right, okay, yeah. It's the wrong type of metal. Yeah. Can I play some heavy metal? Guys, so he's going to try... Stop playing that. How was he ever successful as a music article? So he claimed...

He wasn't. He has 10 monthly listeners. He claimed... Ten? Are they you? Yeah. he claimed he'll find So Scotta was the Egyptian person

who buried it apparently His half sister of Tutankarmoon And he claimed that he'll find the treasure Through dowsing Dowsing is like I'm sorry That'll be a beautiful trip Of all of us

We all get a tent If we make it there I'll go to the Lam Island I'll tell you what I guarantee you it's a beautiful part of the world It's probably worth it for that I'm not searching for a crystal If you want to see you

us go on a real life, if you want to see us go on a real life treasure hunt, and go canoeing and camping to Lam Island to find Einstein's orb, like underneath right now on comment, and we'll do it. How do you get there? We'll get some, we'll get a battle detector. From where? From Scotland? Berwick.

We'll go on a metal, we'll go on a... Berwick. Let's think... We couldn't get a real life fucking treasure hunt. Mate, I'm up through it. That'd be a minute. What happens if we do find? We're millioners.

We get permission for it. Yeah, if you allow you to go. If we find that, we get a million pounds. You're not, you can sell it. For how much? It's Einstein's or me. It's fucking prices. Yeah, but it's probably, but that's why he buried it there.

Yeah, yeah. You're an idiot. And then he's told everyone about it for them to go and suck it off his island. You're an idiot. What about the Egyptian stuff then? What about it? I don't believe there's Egyptians there. Is it?

Are there any proof of it? Yeah, he just said, he said there. Oh, you can go Lamb Island. You can get a boat there, apparently, but there's no really docking station. Did he do it? There's Egyptians, weren't there? I never knew who they got to Scotland up one. Anyway, let's move on to Lewis's death clock.

We've talked about this, haven't we? No, I bought a clock for 100 quid. That tells you when you die. When does it say you're going to? Oh, I know that it hasn't arrived, yeah. Huh? But you went off your, you went off your clock after like five minutes. I haven't, it hasn't arrived yet.

What, your time, you mean? So you haven't watched these. Yeah, you're watching a podcast or something, all about it. Yeah, I've ordered it. Do you want it to arrive? Do you want it to arrive? Huh? Do you want it to arrive?

Do you know what? Even the slight manifestation of it saying that you die next year Also, how do you know when you die? You answer lots of questions on it and it will make an approximation on when you're likely to die

and then it sits there and you can press it, it'll tell the time normally but then you can press the red button and it'll be shown the seconds until you die and like, why would you want that?

Why would you want that? Also, can I ask? Because it stops you from slacking. You put in if you're like smoking and stuff. Yeah, you'll do stuff like that. You're fucking idiot. Should we, yeah, should we do? Should you do mine?

Spent 90 quid on it. You can find out when you're going to die. Talking about wasting money. That's not, that's good. Mate, think how much money I'm going to make more because when I'm slacking there,

not doing work, I'll look there and I can see my life picking down. I'm not. Lewis, you put a journal for a year and off. But your journal, this and your journal just summarizes a big issue

that you're just lacking a load of internal motivation. I think, I think you are in the wrong. I think, I think understanding your mortality improve, it will lead you to have a better life.

Why can't you to self-motivate? Why do you need a morbid clock? Yeah, we're going to do... I can self-more, but I want to do more. So to do more, I have to motivate it. We're going to find out when or die. 18th of March, 96. Do we know what I'll be a month?

18th, 18th. I don't know what mine is. That's the month, that. That's the month, yeah. 18. American. 96. I don't think it's best if you don't do this, if I'm honest.

I don't care. Ninety-6926. I don't know if you're going to develop like cancer or get run over by heart stuff like that it's like it's hard to know but like it's overall health like if he's drinking loads of shit

I don't know what my BMI is under 25 definitely under 25 Outlook Super Super Final No I'd go pessimistic

You're a bit You're a bit angry That doesn't mean I'm a pessimistic He's actually quite optimistic Do you think Go two times a week Do you think Newcast are going to win the league No

Put pessimistic on. No, put neutral... Alcohol consumption, come on. Put neutral for his... Well, I don't drink every day, but the one before that is two times a week. His outlook is neutral, I would say. He's about right for me, two or three times a week.

No, it's more than that. It's not. It really isn't. It really isn't. It really isn't. Diet, yeah. Couch potato. Moderately.

Moderately. Okay. Tomorrow. It's going to need the other stuff in it. Oh, that's like, when am I going to die? I've got ADHD. You will live to be... Sixty-three!

I'll talk to that, to be fair. Oh, that made you... Yeah, so then also show your seconds... That's really affected him. 34 years. You might change your life now. I mean, John Mike wants to change... Every day, even more.

Yeah, a generic quiz on the internet is really... You're a halfway through, mate. What? Halfway through. No, I'm not. Almost. Not really. Well, you literally...

Road incident. To be fair, that's probably first. You're like three years away from being halfway. Okay. That's pretty close to half. Road incident to finish it all, though. It's pretty impressive. I'll be honest, I wouldn't care if I'd leave until 63.

Actually, no, if I've got kids, probably 70. Yeah. 8 max, fuck me on. I plan, after, you're going to be able to... Did you see this? They've actually brought back to life a million-year-old insect by accident from permafrost. It was stuck in permafrost, this tiny little worm thing, and it's a bit extinct.

But as he defrosted it, actually came back alive And now he's on this show And I had babies No, and I had babies, right? Yeah, we heard you had fucking babies Are we not, uh, he's not understanding This is groundbreaking It shows that you can literally freeze yourself in a morning

No, you can't, humans can't do that You could scale this off If you had the perfect situation Still frozen Yeah, no, but Disney did it, he's still frozen Yeah, no, but he hasn't probably He's done it, right? I'm surprised you haven't put up the dire wolves yet

we did that a long time there's also a bigger thing there's also a bigger thing that was not recently die wolves did you see the guy did you see the guy who spent 100 days underwater no

what did he happen to him this is genuinely true missed the beat's video no he spent 100 days underwater he's a he's a ex some diver or whatever he spent 100 days underwater he's now they reckon

and he's done all tests whatever he's now 10 years younger in all the tests he's carried out His hair's grown thicker and stronger and not grey. He's, um, there's loads of other things. But the only, and he was on a podcast and they said, what's the negative of it? And the only negative of it is he lost three quarters of an inch of his height.

Explain this to me. So basically they reckon spending that, it's the pressure. So he's in a cabin underneath a load of water? Yeah, he's in like, um, I don't know what they call it. But a house under water? But where there was his bronze go? But everything, apparently like he's everything he's, he's, everything he's stronger and fitter and healthier just by being underwater because apparently pressure.

But I also didn't realize, apparently astronauts grow slightly in size because they're in depressurized situation. Is that the pressurized one's shrinking? Is that their bones grow on? The bones steer the same. I don't know. Type in guy who spends 100 days under water. It's actually really...

But basically that they're thinking if this adds time onto your... Maybe it does live. They can't stretch your board. I think it's going to add time onto your life. We could maybe find a way to use this to become immortal. Damn. I want to be immortal. Do you actually, though?

I'm going to put myself in a computer. Yeah, look, a blood test showing a 50% reduction in inflammatory markers. So Brian Johnson just needs to go under water for a bit. Who's that? The guy is spending like... You know, the guy's trying to become younger than his... Oh, God, no. He looks ming.

But I'm saying, Arthur TV was right when he told me he was going to... Live forever. We were going to live forever? This is the guy who's trying to age, backwards. Yeah. But he looks like a fucking reptile.

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