Back Side - Tom's Biggest EVER Rattle! Theo Baker's £10,000 DISASTER & Lewis Meets Bruno G!

Episode Date: February 6, 2025

Lewis was kidnapped for the day of his life, meeting all of his Newcastle United hero's. Theo has a disaster which has cost him big time! And Tom sends the lads into meltdown again in a game of guess the fake headline.If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram, where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. Pretending I had it all together. I need to escape my circumstances. I am not a doormat stories that heal share yours together we are unsinkable we are unsinkable.com

bruno's meant to tell him take your goggles off whatever you you've got on, his mask off. And Lewis goes, no, weird. He instantly knew it was Bruno G. He put me in a blindfold, right? I don't know, someone undressed me. It's crazy. I'm not convinced what went on that day is not, like, sexually illegal. Naked, naked, naked! Maybe magic's not real.

Oh, that truth, yeah. We all good? You happy on your side, Matt? I'm all good. Lovely. Are you nervous? No, I'm just making sure this is all. You sound like you've got a dry mouth.

You sound like you're nervous. It's because the set-up was weird. I don't know about Lewis, but he's very stressed all the time. You sound like you're nervous, bro. It's how it works. He's even more stressed recently, though, aren't you, Lou? Have you had a stressed week, have you? nervous, bro. It's how it works. He's even more stressed recently, though, aren't you, Lou? Have you had a stressed week, have you? Always, man.

He's had such a stressful week, Tom, hasn't he? You know, meeting his idol, being followed by his idol, having the best day of his life. I can tell that you have a serious injury because you just walked straight into my can of Fanta and knocked it everywhere. Other brands are available. Are we just raw-dogging it in? You're not going to give us a big thank you for almost reaching 50,000 subs?

Thank you for not hitting a target. Please help us reach 50,000. We're like 800 off. I've got to thank these freaks for not following us. But then psychology, they might click subscribe now. There's definitely... Why are we saying thank you for not following us. But then, psychology, they might click subscribe now. No, you know what? Fuck the lot here.

Also... Why are we saying thank you for not hitting us? Yeah. That's what I just said. Also, we definitely have more viewers than subscribers.

What's that mean? Yeah, why do we... We always hit viewership that's higher than our subscriber count. So, yeah, so... Every pod.

So does that mean... exactly what you guys laughing at What's going on at the incapability of our view? He keeps fine If you're watching this and you haven't subscribed why not because I'm looking at you right here John Ben and Callum and Johnson Ben Johnson and also you Mason now watching this Well, I see some watching this. Yes. He is. He's a big backside fan. So can I also you Mason now watching this Mason's not watching this yes he is he's a big backside fan

so can I ask you Mason why are you not subscribed because I can see you watching what are you two doing you can't he's team you still can't be fine

I didn't have much sleep so I'm going a bit late so tell us about your crazy week you've had a really big week in terms of in terms of personal milestones what's happened the TV talk. In terms of personal milestones, what's happened? So Theo kidnapped me to take me on

what was apparently the best day of my life. It turned out to be... Are you crying because you remember the memory? I'm crying because I just remember what you put me through. Can I just say something, Lewis? As a friend, right? What are you? Well, I thought I was,

but the way he treats me is kind of mad. Yeah, it's clear. Because what I did for you was one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for anyone in this room. Can we reveal? Yeah, we can. We can talk about all of it. Okay, okay, okay.

When's your video out? Next week, so let's just preface it. Is it? Yeah. That's rapid turnaround. Come on, we don't mess around around here. But my point is, Lewis, is why do you have to come out of this incredible situation

that you've been in and say i've ruined your life because i think it's downright rude because right it is pretty are we good so what phil said was i'm going to take you on the best day of your life and then what you do is either to do what are you doing just We're just thinking about his day. Stop looking at the TV. I'm looking at the press. He put me in a blindfold, right? What is going on? What is going on? I can tell who a real YouTuber is.

Why are you being so unprofessional? This is actually crazy. A, there's no way that you're still farting. And B, what are you crying about? What are you keep farting about? Turn the TV off guys. Is it because of the way you're dressed? No it's fine.

It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Can we reveal what we know now? He said he's going to tip me on the best day of my life. He put a blindfold on me. He put me on a train. I was on there for like what could-

And he made you milk cows? It could have been like seven hours for a while. So what time are you talking? What time are you- He got me up. I got Lewis I said I said Lewis

meet me that doesn't help me he's explaining it so wrong what time is the train what time is the train what time are you getting up at six it was at 7am Lewis

you fucking idiot that's why you trapped me I said get to King's Cross for 6.45 6.45 what does he do he gets there for 6.45 good boy

solid yeah good boy And I then proceed To blindfold him And put headphones in his ears So therefore he is Now down to only

Sensory deprived Yeah three senses Yeah yeah yeah Wait so you Wait how early on in the journey Did this happen? Quarter to seven in the morning The whole journey

You had a blindfold on He kidnapped me Otherwise you ruin the facade Yeah You can't I thought you would have let him know That you ruin the facade. You can't leave. I thought you would have let him know you got to Newcastle. It's illegal.

No, he got socially kidnapped. I would not have allowed that. I'll do anything for content though. Tom, we let him take his blindfold off to go to the toilet and stuff. If everything went swimmingly, you wouldn't have had to wear a blindfold or anything like that because me and Tom would have been going with you. No, he would have still

been in a blindfold. Sorry, in a group of four, you still would have been. This is my bestie ever, by the way. This is my bestie ever. There'll be two videos. Oh, okay.

Yeah. So regardless, you were going to send him on a six-hour journey with a blindfold. Oh, don't forget about that. That is criminal. Don't worry,

it was much longer than that, wasn't it, Theo? Well, the blindfolding. First of all, we're in first class. He's got a full English on the train. Do you know how nuts that is? Oh don't forget about that That is criminal Don't worry It was much longer than that Wasn't it Theo? Well The blindfolding First of all We're in first class He's got a full English On the train

Do you know how nuts that is? How did you eat? Oh mate Talented This is the craziest shit I've ever seen right With his mouth Surely you let him

Just look at the food No okay How would that have ruined anything? Also Did you not hear Oh did you have earplugs in? He doesn't have earplugs in He has AirPods

He has AirPods in yeah? Listen to hard style blindfolded skydiving no no I'm saying Hard style just wicked So here he is blindfolded yeah he cut up a sausage perfectly blindfolded i don't get it i don't know how he's done it i don't know man he put his position in surely you just let him look at the food i fed him i didn't need it i was telling no after he'd done that i said oh my god you've impressed me so much by like eating food blindfold i said you can actually look at your food so he took the blindfold off downwards but obviously

on a train you don't know where he's going yeah but did you not actually look at your food so he took the blindfold off downwards but obviously on a train you don't know where he's going yeah but did you not see surely at that point you've like scanned the surroundings and you knew where the train was heading to

no no no we kept an eye on him we said keep your eyes down boy you wouldn't you wouldn't be able to spot that anyway it is very hard

he says it on the thing no but his his blindfold is covered the top no yeah that but you'd have to I mean but looking out the window

you all wouldn't be able to tell but it's illegal what you do to me no no I know that it's not like you look at a sheep and it says

we're on the way to Newcastle well no that'd be wild anyways guys so little did Lewis know I was taking him up to Newcastle

it's not part of the quiz but which country has the most sheep per capita Newcastle Wales no New Zealand correct

Newcastle you have problems Yeah it's not country Lewis where do you think you were Because you kept telling me That you actually think You're back in London Well I

I did a big loop I had a 25 train I had a crazy theory That this was all Going to be a ruse And he was alien It was all

It was all going to be a ruse For us sending him to Norway And like he was going to Like pull some awful prank on me because like initially when i heard best day ever i was thinking newcastle yeah that makes sense but then when you're blindfolded for hours on end you start to think maybe this is not a good thing maybe it's a bad thing but surely at that point you just presumed it was still newcastle if you if you thought it was the best day of your life and you knew newcastle was a long distance away and you're in a blindfold for a long time.

But maybe he's trying to make me think that it's Newcastle. But also, surely if you thought this is going to be the best day ever, I'd have been assuming shotgun to my mouth. Anyways, my point is this, right? So obviously Lewis is blind and deaf at this point. So that means in his head, because he can't see anyone, no one can see him or hear him. Why didn't you just take his glasses off him?

Well, we realised that we could have just taken his glass off and he wouldn't know where he was anyway. But anyway, so obviously Lewis now starts acting loud and obnoxious. Oh, God. I said, Lewis, we're in first class. I think I touched someone's dick by accident when I was walking to the show. When you said that, it wasn't someone's dick, Lewis. You brushed an old lady's bum and you said,

oh man, I think I touched his dick. And this lady's looking at you. Obviously, he's blindfolded. We look like balls. We then get into a taxi with a really nice gentleman and obviously this loser in the back was like, oh man, where am I going, man?

Where am I? Obviously, we had to ask the taxi driver to speak very quietly so Lewis couldn't hear in his headphones just in case. He's shouting profanities the entire time. Yeah. Just do it a bit quieter, mate.

When you felt the cold air though, could you smell? Could you smell home? Yeah, this is the thing. So it was in my head at times like, I think I might be here but then there's just doubt

because you're like, oh, where am I? But like, because... Oh, that's riveting. It is quite riveting, I think. So I fucking thought I might be there but then I thought

fucking am I? Well, we had to have the headphones at this point because obviously but he would have heard obviously his fellow geordies well he's not a geordie but yeah he by the way had me signing documents blindfolded the other side of the so i don't know what anyways guys we get to the newcastle training ground lewis still has no idea far too willing that you yeah you're you're in 12 hours and then obviously we have to sign like documents to be let in and stuff like that i go fuck and everyone else like shit what we're gonna do so we take look like we get outside the dome so you can't see any newcastle brandon yeah i say lewis i'm gonna take lewis you have to sign this document so there's no way anything and what i do i cover up everything that's on the document

because it says you're at Newcastle training ground you can't do this you can't do that I said just sign here and what does he do willingly he just signs away he actually signed

the right to like all money he owes now goes to me best friend contract and then obviously so we get there all 40 quid

we get there around 11ish because we were told the players would be coming at 12 we then put Lewis in a really nice tent We get there around 11-ish, okay? Because we were told the players would be coming at 12. We then put Lewis in a really nice tent with a heater, and he can edit.

No, no, no. Let me stop there. It was a black tent, right? Complete darkness. It had no heater at this time, and all there was... Do you know those lights you see on building sites? Never lie. Where they're in murder rooms and stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just those in the corners. I genuinely thought, this is it. They're going to do things to me. Okay, first of all, you just lied. sites where like they're in like murderer rooms and stuff just those in the corner i genuinely thought this is it they're going to do things to me okay first of all you just lied that long there was a heater there it was there later on it wasn't there when i first got in it was there from the whole start i can tell you it wasn't i'm telling you for a fact that he was there the entire time i didn't know because i was blindfolded it was there the entire time and he was in this tent and i said lewis you may now take off your blindfold he's greeted with this tent with with lights unlimited food unlimited food let's stop there he brought me he brought me some sausage and gravy and chips i got

the whole day he was feeding me weird stuff blindfolded i ate a sausage he offered me a banana then he gave me more sausage. How is that weird food? How is that weird food? In a dark tent, in a dark tent. You're so weird. I do, it's funny, the amount of penis-shaped foods I ate,

there was three people with us that day. I'm more worried how willing you were to suck on them. By the way, I... Sorry, he had a lovely Geordie made, there were some local Geordies in, sausage stew with chips and rice. Mate, you let me,

you let me tick three bites and you're like we're going to go and stand you out here and I had to stand there for like five hours just like also not true

that's fucking true they brought me out they stood me there and I thought they must be like filming something weird how long did it feel I don't want to get

pushed over because you have no get punched in the balls so basically what happened let me actually tell you what happened how many times

you were just a victim for the day yeah I was getting bullied by his cameraman how many times did you go through... You were just a victim for the day. Yeah, I was getting bullied by his cameraman. How many times did you go through Darren Styles' album? Oh, man, I went around so many times. Who's Daniel Stiles? Darren Stiles.

Who's that? He's like a dance artist, isn't he? He used to make dance music. I will come running. No. I will say what happened is this, okay? So we get there a little bit. He's now, by the way,

Lewis is in this Warm tent with food Editing his vlog I'm sorry That's fine He's now working okay Wait you let him work Yeah

Wait Lou you went all the way Up to Newcastle And carried on working On my bestie ever On the bestie of my life Are you delirious What are you doing now

I then have to go out And do some Adidas filming For their For their Predator launch Shock fear was on time For a shoot that That benefits him by the way you doing i then have to go out and do some adidas filming for their um for their predator shock fear was on time for a shoot that benefits him by the way no too fair you've been good with your time keeping like this new year's resolution anyways let's get up back to lewis here because

he's really pissed yeah sorry lies um so i gotta do that and then uh lewis wants to go for a walk go for a wee so we let him out Let him out Do you know what I mean And then When I'm doing all my stuff Let him out Little do I know Ginger And Danny

Start messing around with him Yeah You could have just Stayed in there I am not convinced What went on That day Is not like

Sexually illegal Oh it was Ben was kissing me Lewis I have it I have it on camera It was me. Lewis, I have it on camera. It was. Ben was kissing me. I had it on camera,

you demanding to kiss me many times. Because I thought, because the ironic thing is, I thought when Ben kissed me, I thought that was Theo, so I was trying to kiss him back for the rest of the day.

Turns out it was Ben who kissed me and Theo didn't know what I was on about. Have you kissed Ben since or not? No. Oh, why not? He got a bit weird.

Have you gone out on a date? No. No, but the thing is, he went, you just did, by the way, you didn't tell me what you're doing because you couldn't

because of the thing. So I was just sort of brought out and stood there and I thought I was stood there for some sort of content. I didn't know if something was happening behind me. Are you aware of the dick

pictures they took of you? Obviously, we're inside the dome at Newcastle, right? It's very cold in there. And Lewis says, Lewis, where do you think you are? He goes, well, man,

I think there's a stage in front of me. And everyone's looking at me. There's a thousand people. Fucking Paris the Caribbean. I didn't figure out I must be indoors because I tried doing that for wind. I was like, there's no wind. I must be indoors.

Wow, you are one small individual. From 11 until, and then it hits like 2 o'clock, right? And obviously, you know, when you work with players and footballers, right? They can keep getting pushed back. There'll be five minutes, there'll be five minutes, five minutes. I love how that's his... Three hours later. That's his survival tactics.

He's been fucking sensory deprived all day and he's gone, I've got to work out if there's wind. And Lewis... By the way, Lewis Mones of the... Right, I said to him, he wanted to work out if there's wind. By the way, Lewis Mones of the stuff, right, I said to him, he wanted to come out of the tent because he wanted to change the environment. And I said, Lewis, if you get cold, let me know. We'll bring the heater or we'll put the jumper on. If you need food, let me know.

Whatever you need, just let us know. We are very, we have on camera many times saying whatever you want. He said, no, man, I'm fine, man. Every time he said, no, man, I'm not cold. I don't feel the cold. No, this thing. I didn't know if you weren't filming at this point,

but I didn't know if you had brought me out. Because I could have gone in and out. I didn't know if you were bringing me out to film stuff. So I didn't want to be like, stop the filming for me to go get food and thingy. I said to you off camera, everything you need, just let me know what you need. I don't know off camera because I'm blindfolded. I thought it might have been on camera. When you were taken into the dome they took your airpods out no no no no no no how do you know what they're asking you then every time i speak out like that yeah but other than

that i'm just secluded to darren styles yeah but if you're told if you're told if you need anything let me know that means if you were then to shout and stop them and they could never go at you. No, but I didn't know. I didn't want to. When he's moaning about all this shit, I said, anything you want, just let me know. No, I didn't want to ruin the filming. There wasn't ruin. But we told you, it's got about two hours. He said we're filming in two hours. Anything you need, let me know. That's all me. But like, what am I going to say? I need to see. No, that ruins the video.

No. Eat or drink. I need to see. You're trying to work out what video they're filming anyway. So it doesn't matter, does it? It then gets to the point where we're told, Eat or drink? I need to see. You're trying to work out what video they're filming anyway. So it doesn't matter, does it? It then gets to the point where we're told,

okay, they're like 10 minutes away. Yeah. And they weren't. Yeah. Anyway, the point is we had to get him changed. Right. That was...

I stayed away from that. So you... I don't believe that. Who clothed you? I don't know. Someone undressed me. That was me. It's crazy.

I came up with that. Sorry. There's no way you're still allowing Can we please emphasise how long? You're pulling out and I'm going

just got to put my trousers on. By the way, me and Ginger at this point before, I think it's before or after

you got changed we're using Lewis's like we're throwing the ball. What were you doing? Did you ever feel like a ball

hit you on the head? Yes. Yeah, that was Ginger setting himself up one, two, three. Volley I was guessing or something. Yeah, me and Ginge

were having a kick about I can't lie I would not be able to do that for that long I know but the problem is what did you think was going to happen

I started sussing out a little bit because on grass you can hear footballs you've been there a while I'm like something must be going on that related

but when you've been waiting that long you can't tap out then because then it's all you've been waiting for no reason the video's ruined and we went all the way there.

Did you think Shearer was coming or something? What did you actually think? Everything came through my head. Name everything that came through your head. Eddie Howe, Shearer,

any Newcastle player. But this is your general trend of thought anyway. Sunderland players, I thought, I didn't know if they would be like Sunderland players. I don't think this necessarily

applies to you having a day out blindfolded. I think they're the four things you think about anyway do you think you're in newcastle then i i had a strong suspicion of it but i didn't know if you diverted me somewhere else and it was a prank but i knew it was either newcastle or as a prank at the end because we've been there for so long yeah and i also you can naturally i get that train home yeah as well but like i know right so like a homing pigeon you're like

oh this feels like the LNER this is CGAT you've been in this place for like how long like four hours at this point

you're sort of like two hours anyway so we then sit down sit Lewis down in front of the guy with his bike he has no idea

what's going on bring over Harvey Barnes he starts messing with him like tickling him and I felt I felt bad you've literally just been abused

all day I felt bad Lewis actually has no idea he's just met Harvey Barnes and then Callum Wilson comes in but we're not allowed to speak to him

because he's not added us and I've recorded oh really yeah so I said Lewis look it's Callum Wilson and then it's Lewis

you're his dad in the corner with his car best day ever by the way best day of my life I've recorded videos. Oh, really? Yeah, so I said, Lewis, look, it's Callum Wilson. And then it's, Lewis, you're his dad. They're going with his character. Best day ever, by the way. Best day of my life. He's actually brought me so close to the people I idolise and they've never let me leave. So it was meant to be Joe Linton.

Yeah, yeah. But he had some personal issues. He had to go home. I don't want to say what it is, but he had to go home anyway. And they go... He just doesn't like Lewis. His knob fell off.

He found out it was me. He's like, no. That was the personal issue. Lewis was meant to do a football video with Joe Linton and be in an Adidas advert with Joe Linton so that would have been

fucking sick by the way I'm really wounded that would have been so fucking but obviously it's not it is what it is he can't help it

but it would have been it is what it is it has a personal issue with you so that's unfortunate but if Eddie Howe stopped to obviously them kicking the football because they had a too hard training session which was a bit so that's unfortunate but Joel Linton Eddie Howe stopped to obviously them

kicking the football because they had too hard training session which was a bit peak that's why you guys were going to come but they say

did you know this have you found this out he told me and then we're going to kick more with Gordon and Joel Linton does he know what the teams

are going to be as well or not it's going to be us three versus you and Joe Linton and Gordon it might still happen in versus you and Jay Linton. And Gordon. Oh. Yeah.

It might still happen in the future. Damn, man. That's your Linton ad. I've been thinking about that every evening. We do have a surprise for you. So because he couldn't make it, he sent you. Oh, yeah. Do you want to get the dick picture out?

Anyway, they say, oh, is Bruno G okay? And I'm like, ooh. No, actually, no. How was your response? I went, is Bruno G okay? Were they top two for you or is Isaac number one now?

No, no, no. In terms of who I'd want to meet, I'd meet, there's no level of who I'd rather meet. I'd rather meet, if you brought Jacob Murphy out, but in terms of of like doing that content with bruno is your top bruno's like the top guy to do because he's just so funny i didn't realize how cool he enjoys it so wait have i sent you the photo yeah is that the first yeah it's the first time you've seen

it though yeah how's your english brilliant is it good yeah anyways yeah so uh bruno eventually comes out uh I was like fucking hell he's good crack he's fucking class man why are you annoyingly nice he's just funny and like him and Jolito

he calls Longstaff shagga yeah he's just like I've never seen any outside football stuff of him yeah yeah naturally I'm just sure Longstaff's probably a virgin

anyways and then we sit Lewis down finally this is finally his moment this is where this is the play we've waited all these hours yeah and this fucking headphone dies so now we can start to hear oh and we're all we're all like shit we have everyone that got to stay quiet uh and like yeah i was i said i heard the boom boom i'm like this is gonna run out and it ran out i was like

now so now i'm doing this like humming a little bit oh and then now they really think you're weird yeah by the way doing this in front of like doing this in front of my idols and like the place i've wanted to be you and harvey barnes hilarious by the way huh you and you because you had no idea it was harvey barnes you're like get off of me man mom said no gays allowed in the house as crazy as it sounds my pain could help someone else stories that heal share yours together we are unsinkable we are unsinkable.com and then uh mate so we we told Bruno what to do. Like, he's so keen for it. All goes out the window because he starts saying,

Lewis, Lewis. And Lewis, Bruno was meant to tell him, take your goggles off, whatever you've got on, his mask off. And Lewis goes, no way. He instantly knew it was fucking Bruno G. What, because of the accent? No, just know his voice.

He just knows his voice. So he rips his mask off and goes no way and they start hugging him Bruno Bruno did you hug him yeah man

he's class me and Bruno are best mates they made love we actually are man and then Bruno invited him to the that's where him and his dad

went to the box oh I thought you sorted that we sorted that but we got Bruno to invite Lewis but then he brought up giving me yeah so then,

so we have all the interaction, and Bruno's like, man, I love this guy. Yeah, that's on video, but I can't wait to get that clip, and then I'm just going to... Anytime some twat comes, Bruno G on camera saying

he loves this little fucking old man. What would you do if he left, like today? I don't care, I love him. He's fine. Me, and then Bruno says, oh, do you want my match worn shirt on Saturday?

And Lewis is like, I was like, fucking hell, man, nor we, man. I should have gone, no, do you want my match worn shirt on Saturday? And Lewis was like, I was like, fucking hell, man. No way, man. I should have gone, no, I'm alright. And then we're like, well, to get it,

you've got to score a penalty. Yikes. Oh, you? Yikes. Oh, you didn't miss everyone. Oh, yikes.

Luckily for Lewis, this is where I'm really a little bit. Who did you put in goal? Max, good keeper. He is good. Oh, the one who come to

yeah yeah yeah can we just set this up beforehand like bear in mind it was really cold I've not been playing football and I've literally stood from a stool

met my hero and then been told to kick a football so like I'm very cold I'm not loose everything you're forgetting we've seen you

kick a football before oh well the first one this is in front of you you are shit mate Lewis Laisbeth Lewis first pen flying top bin and we've seen you kick a football before oh well the first one this is in front of Bruno you are shit mate Lewis Laisbeth Lewis first pen

flying top bins too much adrenaline it went over yeah yeah of course it was sore way too much adrenaline missed the target yeah missed the target

Bruno's there like oh no way man why was he talking like me second one second one I think it was saved wasn't it or did you miss that one second one, I think it was saved, wasn't it? Or did you miss that one? Second one, no.

I think I went top bins again. I missed a bit wider this time. Yeah, so the first two missed the target. But the thing is, I was limited to only going on the right side because of my knee.

The third one. Oh, you can't cross the... The third one misses the target again. Yeah. Three out of three. No, third was my Penenka attempt. And at that point, Bruno's like,

what's he doing? If you're going to go Penenka, you've got to do it first one man yeah and then fourth one he misses it again so he's missed four penalties to get this

match one shirt and Bruno's like what the hell is going on why don't you want it and then Bruno says oh mate I'll show you how

it's done yeah Bruno steps up fucking what happened wow this is tense this is so tense by the way he puts it

wide when he goes wide I'm like yes I was fucking buzzing because I just

missed 3 because you scored 0 and he scored 0 yeah I was like if he missed that

means I can't get much stick and then I take one keeper saves it and we're like

fuck it we're running out of time we have to score one because the whole premise of the video is I'm going to go to this match

but no one can fucking score a pen. Yeah, I take one and score and then Lewis takes one, misses. And we're like, oh God. Yeah, he's missed five penalties. How many did you lose?

Collectively, you've had nine penalties and no one scored a pen. Lewis eventually scores. He puts it on the left side. He changes the side. He's going, does his MCL in front of Bruno G.

Do you know what I said? I'm sure before that penalty, I said, Bruno, I've tried this your way. Now I'm going to do it my way. And he said, one more. Let me have one more. One more. Go and do me MCL in front of Bruno.

Yeah. Did you fall over and were in pain? I scored it, though. Were you in pain? No, I sort of like... Mate, he started crying. He started crying in front of Bruno crying he started crying in front of Bruno he started crying

in front of Bruno no I start I hop onto my other leg I'm like I've done my leg like and then he comes over and we hug and that but I'm like limping and shit

so obviously he's got Bruno's match one shirt aww that's horrible mate so he obviously gets Bruno's match one shirt he's going to the box on Saturday

it's amazing he's had the best day of his life. We then proceed to, I do a film with Gordon. And Lewis, you might be in that advert. I'm going to get cut from that, definitely. Probably, yeah. But then Lewis, then we start chatting to Gordon. I start chatting to Gordon.

He's talking about Havelets and stuff. Then Lewis brings up Isaac Harlan debate in front of Gordon. You didn't. I did. Why? It turned into an episode of Pitchside. Why did you do that? Because I knew he backed me.

He did back me. He agrees. And do you know what he said? He said it's because he can do it all. No, he said... Lewis, what did he... I've been saying it the entire time. His final words to you were,

stop being so delusional. Oh, was it? Was it really? Yeah. He said... Do you actually think that's what he said? Because I don't know what your memory's like. He did say stop being delusional.

No, he said keep being delusional. Okay, right. Fair enough. There you go. Sorry. like he did say stop being delusional no he said keep being delusional okay fair enough there you go sorry because when i said when i said i was delusional he's like yeah i like that i like that and at the end he's like keep being delusional so you meet heroes you go to the then you walk up and you're this guy's fucking he's gone to the adidas box at st james's park he's gone to the newcastle ground for the first time in his life he's getting a max one shirt he's getting the best day ever he's met all the playerscastle ground for the first time in his life. He's getting a match one shirt. He's getting the best day ever. He's met all the players. Wait, so whereabouts is the Adidas box? Have you got a photo? It's the middle, isn't it? Yeah, it's like, it's really, it's like just right of the halfway line.

It's next to Bruno's box. Right next to Bruno's box. I was next to his dad. Bruno's got his own box. So I was here and the dad is probably between you and Reeve. Did you speak to him? Yeah, I spoke to his dad. Can you show me the photo? His dad's like a,

his dad's like a legend in the, I actually find this quite interesting. Um, I haven't told you about though. So we get home. Um, Ben, obviously a videographer editor,

puts the SD, Oh my God. Puts the SD card into the computer. That is unbelievable. Oh no. It's all gone. No, it's not.

All the footage is gone. No, it's not. I promise it's all gone no it's not all the footage is gone no it's not I promise it's all gone no four factors not I'm I'm in his office I asked Ben to send me a snippet

because I wanted to show my dad and he sent it so you don't know the story behind that I promise you it was gone it's definitely not gone Lewis Lewis

Lewis Lewis when they first got I'm or driving this is this is not I'm or driving this is this is not I'm a non-bias neutral here

when they first put it into have a look at what they acquired from the day their last two files of the day four gigabytes on the memory card all gone

have you managed to recover it oh don't get me started this was the this is the most stressful have you recovered 18 hours of my life I was i was i don't get how you lose it we have no idea because if it was if it was deleted right then the last two clips would have been deleted yeah everything would have been but we had the last two clips this is what we can't work there's a hypothesis that on some poor quality s SD cards, is they overwrite footage to film the latest footage.

Did you press record? It was all recorded. Yeah, it wasn't recorded. So what now then? So I was obviously, me and Ben are, I'm losing my fucking mind. I'm like, this is the worst. Ben was pretty chill about it. He figured that he'd get it back.

I've lost stuff on hard drives for cords, and I've always got it back. Well, we tried every solution possible we've tried everything all the recovery software that are harry then sends us this like major recovery software we send off there's like technicians working on all of it cost a lot that doesn't it yeah it was expensive because they watermark it as well they send you it back was it i don't know i don't know they send you well from what i saw because i was in the office when ben was getting recovered they send you it back what's it i don't know i don't know they send you well from what i saw because i was in the office when ben was getting recovered they send you it back with a visual watermark and a tick on the script in the audio going and until you buy it yeah you can't well this recovery

software found the thumbnails of each video i'm like oh my god there's actually how the fuck is their data on this thing because it said four gigabytes been taken up there's no fucking data on i don't know how it does it yeah okay for all the thumbnails videos oh my god so it was recorded like there is there is hope a few hours later it sends off to this technician and he's found 120 out of 140 gigabyte of the footage and it's all recovered well 120 out of 140 that would have been brutal happy ending then well but oh no what the bit that's missing

so a lot of the a lot of the intro is not there and then sadly the the you meeting Bruno

is not there but we've got a second angle we've got a second angle I was going to say I've seen it there's two angles yeah there's a second angle

so the main angle's not there but we've got a backup angle which is fine also all the things they did to you the second angle so the main angle is right there but we've got a backup angle which is fine also all the things they did to you is magically disappeared so the worst thing is oh my god

so all the fiddling you did to me is just magically disappeared from this SD card no no no it's worse than that you know the penalties yeah

you're the first four you missed all gone Bruno's miss gone what's the point of the video then no we've got all we've got when you we've got you know the important all the reaction cam footage but none of the actual but we've got you know when you score your penalty you know you're missing your score at the end we've got that okay we've got me scoring what's the video gonna be no we've got everything apart from that the four penalties that which lewis missed you

didn't do much just play the first so much yeah but what we're gonna do because we've got everything apart from that the four penalties which Lewis missed you didn't do much just play the first so much yeah but what we're going to do because we've got all the reactions because Bruno how good was Bruno in the reaction he was brilliant

yeah he was so really good so what we're going to do we're going to for your four misses he was heckling me and everything we're going to use all the reactions because it's so good

but I'll just like reenact Lewis's four misses yeah I think but we've got everything hang on so you're going to go in there and make it about you well I would ask him

to do it but he can't walk nah yeah because he was like he was good because he was like he was literally there

he was just there like heckling us throughout Bruno was such a good sport but we've got pretty much everything and then off the

back of it what happened yeah did you actually tell him to follow no I was thinking yeah I've got

Bruno G following me until he sees one of my posts and then unfollows me and what else he messaged you I do have a question

for you Lewis you know when I messaged you you know when he followed me I know you unfollowed him I know you did

I know it of course you are joking I know you did lads let's not be silly now I'm actually going to let you make me some followers did you get baited by my edit by the way when you messaged me there I just came from the match You are joking. I know you did. Lads, let's not be silly now. I'm actually going to go look at your most recent following.

Did you get baited by my edit? By the way, when you were supposed to be there, I just came from the match. I was fucking blabbered. That's why I was cuddling him fat and that. You unfollowed him

and refollowed him so he'd see you and then follow you fat. No, no. Guys, guys, guys. I didn't do that. I just thought there must have been

a clerical error on his side. He's on your most recent followed. You did exactly that. I just think there must have been a clerical error on his side. He's on your most recent followed. You did exactly that. I just think there must have been a clerical error on his side. Well, maybe he wasn't following him anyway. Bruno, this is the Newcastle's biggest fan. He's probably thinking, why the fuck has he just followed me?

Yeah. I went on his profile accidentally. I was like, oh, shit. I can't believe you did that. I don't follow many Albion players. Do you follow Arsenal? Bruno messaged him first, or did you message him first? I messaged him after the shoot scene just cheers for today

but then that wasn't like So he didn't message him first? No, that wasn't read but then he followed me and messaged me about the shirt. Is that not your dodgy leg by the way? I can keep

this is my I can do this I can't that hurts there. Yeah, because you move at an angle, mate. So Lewis is now friends with Bruno Gomeros.

I would say that that is a good day for you. And all I've heard since that day is moaning, moaning, moaning. No, no. Jokes aside I'm very grateful. It was the best day for you. And all I've heard since that day is moaning, moaning, moaning. No, no, jokes aside, I'm very grateful. It was the best day ever.

The only thing I think is funny is out of no control of Theo's, the chain reaction his nice deed set off is like crazy. Like I've now left with no MCL. I've had to spend 500 quid on a plane ticket home. I'm out of the Chris shoe.

It's obviously not your fault. I'd take all that and do it again. Newcastle lost. Newcastle lost. Has he told you the full story about this train ticket, plane ticket though? No. He hasn't told you the full story.

So, oh, one man, 500 pound man. Yeah. It is 500 pound when you buy it at the airport, isn't it, Lewis? Because someone booked the original ticket for the 2nd of March. Oh my God, you're an idiot. Mate, this guy's fucking special.

Wait, did you go for American timing? I don't know what I did, man. So everything that's gone wrong is entirely his fault. You've booked it under the American date system. No, this wasn't your fault. I'm just saying the butterfly effect. The biggest butterfly. You're an idiot.

You're an idiot. But at least you got a flight from the 2nd of March, right? I saw Alan Shearer down the corridor and I got really excited and then he went in his box. It's not really a story

But you could have just walked over to him. I also was walking down and right behind me was Jeremy Kyle. What's he doing? Jeremy Kyle was just at the gate.

Is that the random celeb you saw? Yeah, just Jeremy Kyle. I'm like, what are you doing? He's tiny as well. Is he not a new customer? He's fucking like... That makes a lot of you doing? He's tiny as well. Is he not a Newcastle fan? He's fucking like...

That makes a lot of sense, actually. He's tiny. That makes a lot of sense for a sister and angry man. Yeah. Is he not a Newcastle fan? I feel like he might be. Or is he a Fulham fan?

Because he... Oh. He's a Londoner, isn't he? He's more of a Fulham fan than a Filderman. Pod. Also, didn't you sit next to Phil Jones? No, that was not Phil Jones.

I did sit next to Bruno's dad, though. And your dad. He loves it. Like, whenever... Didn't you sit next to Phil Jones? No, that was not Phil Jones. I did sit next to Bruno's dad, though. And your dad. He loves it. Like, whenever... Oh, my dad, bless him. Like, fucking hell. Anytime Bruno has the ball, because he knows his dad's right here.

Oh, no. Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno!

Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno!

Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno!

Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno!

Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno!

Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno!

Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! Go on, Bruno! like dad dad no but his dad but his dad his dad loves it as well his dad looks over he's like yeah like you can tell his dad like fucking loves it

he's going you're in front of me in the box nah he's actually classified because like people like we didn't really bother him

but like people coming across the boxes to like go chat to him but he would sit and talk to them for ages you can tell he's just like proper happy

and proud has Bruno G's dad followed your dad wait did your dad get a photo of Bruno G's's just like happy and proud. Has Bruno G's dad followed your dad? Wait, did your dad get a photo of Bruno G's dad? Yeah. Did you get a photo of Bruno G's dad?

Yes. Let's see the photo. He's like a cult hero, man. It's on me, Digi. No one? I don't know. I've seen like Dan Byrne. I didn't tell you this.

I've seen Dan Byrne walking out. I was literally with him. Yeah, but like I said, I didn't want to say, I don't know I've seen like Dan Byrne I didn't tell you this I've seen Dan Byrne walking out I was literally with him Yeah but like I don't like stopping people For pictures Because he was there He had all this stuff And a pen in his mouth And like he wants to get home

To his kids He doesn't want to be Stopped by me Dan Byrne was there At like 5 o'clock When we were leaving And they finished training At like 2

I don't know what he's doing Jono's really embarrassing as well He had a left hand drive truck What? He's a big boy That's probably why Oh yeah Jono's embarrassing as well Like. He had a left-hand drive truck. What? He's a big boy. That's probably why. Oh, yeah. Jono's embarrassing as well.

So fans, there's a couple of kid fans waiting outside the training ground for people to come out. And we stood out waiting for my Uber for ages because my leg was knackered and I was getting the Uber back.

And you put your hood up and you went... I was on my phone, but apparently Eddie Howe came out, saw us, and he saw the kids, waved at them, saw us and waved at us.

But it's really embarrassing because he must be thinking, he has no life like he must be like 26 year old he's waiting for me to say hello I'm like no Eddie no

it's fucking embarrassing but why were you on your phone when Eddie Howe came out I was like sorting stuff and then he just

came out so number one I didn't even get away with him number two he thinks I'm a fucking loser now he probably thought

oh he's right He probably knows who you are It's probably a fair representation It has been One of the most eventful But also best Four days of my life Oh that's good isn't it mate

But very eventful You didn't even It's a story to tell the grandkids You didn't even have to Come back to work mate It made me dad's I can't tell you How buzzing me dad is

With like The Going in the box That's sick man I'm sorry I really appreciate All the times you've Moaned to me since Sunday I can't tell you how buzzing my dad is with going in the box. That's sick, man. I'm sorry. I really appreciate all the times you've moaned to me since then. If I get the Bruno top, I'm going to give it to my dad.

We're getting him the Max Warne shirt still. You've already got a Bruno shirt? Yeah, I'm giving it to my dad, the Max Warne one. And arrived at my house today, signed Anthony Gordon boots for you. Yeah, that one's sick. That one's sick. I'm keeping that one. What, are they the red ones? Yeah, signed Anthony Gordon boots for you. Yeah, that one's sick. That one's sick. I'm keeping that one. What, are they the red ones? Yeah, they're laceless.

Yeah. What did you say? That's it. There you go, Luce. I'm really happy. Why are you laughing at me getting laceless boots? God, that was kind of cold.

Yeah, sorry, guys. It was, yeah, it's been fucking, it's been mental. I can't tell you how God, that was kind of cold. Yeah, sorry, guys. But it was, yeah, it's been fucking, it's been mental. I can't tell you how much stress I was under with the lost footage, though. I felt ill. I couldn't sleep.

So what, how bad would that, like? We had no video. No, no. So how would that have gone down with Adidas? Well, bad. Yeah. Yeah, very bad. You would have looked,

the problem with that is, right, do you know things with that? Obviously, all walks of life, this happens where things happen like that. Out of your control and it's shit, but you look like such an amateur. They'd be like, you've lost footage. You were fucking up.

The worst problem is you have to tell people that there's no files, which implies that you haven't pressed record. Exactly. I can tell you the person who's worked Oh, so I was going to... Exactly. I can tell you the person who's worked most where he there, it should have been Ben

because you second guess yourself. You're like, I was where it was recorded. But he was watching it on playback, he said. He said he was watching And I had a photo of thing and it's all red.

It's red recording. Could you go on the playback when it was in the camera and see it anymore? No. No, weird. I can't tell you how stressed I was. That was...

That was the Newcastle adventure. It all worked out well. Hopefully. It's a shame i mean i wish we had the penalty mitt you see the screenshot of saint charlie

i sent me last picture of bruno dming me i was like just trying to be mad she's like no way and then i was like yeah i'm going around his

fatigue on the weekend she's like your life is crazy i'm like fucking hell like oh that's fucking that's kind of

that's kind of badass I wanted to mention something to Reeve I found discovered something

brilliant have you seen the fan edits have been made of me yeah AB keeps yeah

of you yeah can we click the second link I haven't seen AB well I film with AB on Friday

and he keeps saying that Reeve edits oh wait this account does pitch side all the time yeah I haven't seen these. A, B, A. Well, I film with A.B. on Friday and he keeps saying that Reeve edits... Oh, wait. This account does pitch side all the time. Yeah. I haven't seen these. Unmute it.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Read the caption. I want him to choke me with those arms, respectfully. Oh, Christ. Oh, my God. Can you click the other one as well?

The other link. And the account is Arthur's TV MD. That is so fucking weird. They could be choking. Oh, my God. Naked, naked, naked. He just came up on my TikTok, FYP, and it took all my energy not to lick the screen.

What the... So I wanted to actually initiate a competition to our backside listeners and viewers. Oh no. I invite you by...

You have the next seven days to submit the best Reeve thirst trap you possibly can. We are

at PitchsidePod on TikTok and at Pitch... No, at BacksidePod on TikTok at BacksideInsta on Instagram. Tag us in your best thirst trap and the winner Pod on TikTok and a picture no a backside pod on TikTok at backside insta on Instagram

just tag us in your best thirst trap and the winner will get a special prize can we make one stop it no start it

stop it can we all make one for him yeah we can make one but we'll pick our five nominees we'll watch the one here

and then we'll vote and I'll win I've actually already got one of you girl what is it that's not a thirst trap mate

I'll tell you that for free just a tomorrowland video that was a that was a fun opening should we do guys gobbles

yeah would you gobble him yeah pack it in by the way Lewis there might be another surprise for you coming up later this year

but it'll be pre-season and it's kind of wild oh yeah no seriously pack it in what's the real name I'm loving this

whole like surprise thing you're lucky Newcastle now added that I know I'm like me I fucking love it in What's the real name I'm loving this whole Like surprise thing You're lucky Newcastle Now added that I know I'm like me I fucking love it like But it's actually It's abroad

So you've got to put A blindfold on for 20 minutes Mate I'll do anything Oh my I'll do anything He takes it off And he's like You know where it is

Yeah Oh my god Mate I'll fucking do I'll do anything Just to Right Why am I ears popping Is it a good video

on the end though yes there you go good there you go that's all that matters isn't it that's all that matters

content is king exactly yeah do you want to sing me in I put in contact with my physio what's the thing hell yeah

guessing guys he's guessing guys guessing guys no pack it in oh sorry sorry

sorry pack it in let it begin off mic is that not funny off mic I will gobble your cock I'm not going to sit and gas. Pack it in. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Pack it in. Let it begin. Off mic, is that not funny? Off mic. I will gobble your cock if you say that again. What's going on?

Sorry. Right. So. We're back, Mike. We have three stories today. We are so horrendously down bad, by the way, guys. As a group. Why are we down bad?

We're 2-0 down. Are you ready? Yeah. I'm actually fucking. No, we're 2-0 down. Right. Tom. First headline. two no down are you ready yeah i'm actually fucking no we're two no down right tom first headline scientists discover gay sex creates renewable energy source that's such a real headline number two i can see that one more time before we carry on whatever you think your initial instinct is probably wrong just hold it in.

No, that's real. That's real. Let's definitely see it again one more time. Scientists have discovered... Scientists discover gay sex creates renewable energy source. Well, this is just not real,

is it? It could be, but that's what he's making you think. He did preface this before we even started the show that he's cooked today. So we're going to be in real trouble here.

It could be free and we're down guys. It's obviously Tom writing there. New Zealand's Mount Taranaki is now legally a person. We had to Google

if that's real or not. I think that in the times that we were in that's not crazy. A groundhog called Phil has predicted six more weeks of wintry weather. Phil?

They always do predict stuff as well. And it's actually the groundhog from Groundhog Day, the film. Okay, now it's not believable. It'd be fucking dead.

Bill Murray? And he made that bit up. No, of course he's not dead. I've never seen Groundhog Day. He lives the same day over and over again. He's the same age.

He's called Punxsutawney Phil. Hey, Siri. No! How long to... No, no, no, no, no, no! You can't do that! You can't do that!

You can't do that! I was going, how long to do this? No, we have to use our intellectual. We have to use our intellect. Otherwise, we might as well go, Hey, Siri, is this a real story? No, there's no way. The Groundhog is still alive.

Well, we have to take that into consideration. It means it's like 50. Also, it could just be an irrelevant detail that is added. You're not allowed to lie about any of the details. No, but if it's a true story,

we're trying to guess the true story. If it's true, then it's all true. There we are. We're trying to guess the fake one. The fake one you're guessing.

You'd be caught in how this game works. Two of them are true. Or you're guessing the two real ones. We have to work out what the real ones are. So the first one is

about scientists discovering gay sex or something. No. Renewable energy. Scientists discovering gay sex. No, it's renewable energy. Scientists,

again, if you need more info, I've got more info on all three. Yeah, go on, go on. Can I ask you, in what town is this scientist discovery? I don't actually have.

I don't think it's from... Oh, Elon Musk is it? Right. Is it Vesta? In a groundbreaking discovery that has stunned the scientific community, researchers at the International Institute for Alternative Energy

have found that gay sex generates a unique form of kinetic energy that could revolutionise the power grid. This is true. He's not playing with his dick. Dr Max Powers. It didn't make sense last time. Max Powers?

You got it wrong when you said he plays with his dick. Dr Max Powers. You got it wrong. Guys, he said Dr Max Powers. No, Powers. Shut the fuck up. Dr Max Powers, the lead scientist on the project, explained through extensive testing, we found that the specific frequency and intensity of same-sex intimacy

produces a previously unknown energy field. Okay, guys, I'm going to go out on a whim and say this is 100% true because there is so much detail in those sentences are fully formed, which I just don't think ChatGBT or Tom would do. He would. ChatGBT is very advanced. ChatGBT could do that. Guys, can I?

I will preface. The fake story this week is completely my own. Guys, can I go out with a theory? Your hair looks... We have been wrong. Just to let you know, I haven't used ChatGBT this week.

I've cooked. Okay, guys. That's right. Let's just move on from that. Guys, I have a theory of how we should work though that's so cool on that angle hey oh my god you're so ugly sorry sorry just oh wait i don't i know it's a bit unrelated you know that selfie you put up with you and your dad on

instagram yeah it weren't you that was a really bad photo you look better with the fringe like that it looks way better I just honestly find that photo it don't look like you what were you gonna what were you gonna say I zoomed in no look you look good

but it doesn't look like you our bodies are the containers I risked being different with nothing but love stories that heal share yours together we are unsinkable we are unsinkable.com what were you going to say before everyone started talking about your hair i have a theory right okay so we've been wrong every single time that's not a theory that's fine so i think we should all come

together as usual, try and think what the right answer is, and then choose the opposite option. No way. How can there be an opposite option of three? Okay, guys, let's all agree that the first one... You're a fucking idiot, man. The first one is true. You haven't asked any questions about your...

How do you know it's true? Gear sex makes energy. Before we crack out anything else, can we get more detail on BNC, please? So you want more about... Yeah, just in each other. So Mount Taranaki. In New Zealand, did you say?

It's in New Zealand. A mountain in New Zealand is now legally recognised as a person. It's been granted all the rights and responsibilities as any other person... The tax. ...by the government.

You've got to pay tax. Do they have to pay tax? I don't know. I'd assume so. Tom, is by the government or pay tax uh so they have to pay tax i don't know i'd assume so tom is it the north or south island doesn't say oh you could just google it for us then no i'm not adding things to it well if the mountains really you could just tell us if it's north or south no i'm not no i'm reading no but i'm reading the article but tom every time we've asked for details, it was like, where is it? Is it the North or South Island? I'm trying to find out. So find out, Tom.

I'm trying to. Tom, which one is it? It doesn't say. Well, just tell us then. He's playing you into his game here. Go on Google. He knows and he's stolen to pretend. You have to do research on it for us.

Okay, okay, okay. So is it North or South? On the North Island. Okay. And what is the major city on the North Island? I don't know that. Obviously, it says right there on the Google Maps because that was really quick how you just found that.

No, it doesn't say. You found that very quickly there. I can find out. You went from not knowing to instantly saying, oh, where is it? North Island. North Island.

If Mount Taranaki ends up being fake. It's Wellington. Obviously. If Mount Taranaki ends up being fake, is Taranaki like a translation for something

to imply that we're stupid? I think the mountain's fake. As in like the word Taranaki in a different language means you're fucking idiots or something like that. That's why I feel like he could be down there. I think you are correct. And also, the way he just instantly went from not knowing to saying North Island like that,

you can't Google that quickly. It's because I saw it on the article further down. What's last one oh come off it you're lying you're lying one is i have i just have a feeling groundhog he said he's cooked and he's he's he's created like he created it taranaki in my opinion is a translation for something like that. Or like, I don't know. It means backside in Japanese or something. Basically, the groundhog from Groundhog Day, he's called Punxsutawney Phil. He's predicted six more weeks of winter for America as he gave his weather forecast in Pennsylvania.

How, Tom? There was a big crowd in attendance and they were welcomed with chants of Phil. Phil. What are you thinking? Phil, Phil, Phil Phil, Phil, Phil there's no way there's no way the ritual the ritual goes back more than a century

with far older roots in European folklore and it was made famous by Bill Murray's 1993 movie Groundhog Day where in Pennsylvania it doesn't say by Bill Murray's 1993 movie, Groundhog Day. Where in Pennsylvania it is, it doesn't say. But, yeah. He's declared.

What are you thinking? Come on, you have to contribute. Phil, Phil, chance of declaring. You have to contribute. I think Phil is accurate 50% of the time. I think Phil's real he said it's going to be... 50% of the time he's right every time. I think Phil's real. Oh, yeah. What, they think...

You think... They go, Phil, Phil, Phil. I think Phil's real. I think the gear thing's real. Cause kinetic energy. Yeah, that's 100% real, I think. I think that...

I think that's a no-brainer. I think it's either B or C. So it has to be C. And that means we should say... No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. You've just said the ground... Are no no you just said you just said the groundhog one's real yes but that's why it isn't that makes no sense bro because what we think you are absolutely mental okay lewis lewis take a time

out for five minutes let me and reed discuss this. He said himself he has come up with one of these. In my opinion, realistically... That's what he wants you to think. The main one that he would come up with would be gay sex creates energy. But he knows we know that, so he would never do that. That's so obviously true.

He knows we know that. Oh my God, he's triple bluffing. He knows that we know that, so he thinks we won't. That's so obviously true. He knows we know that. Oh my God, he's triple bluffing. He knows that we know that, so he thinks we won't go there. So that's why he's with us. That's why I do think that. It's either that or Taranaki is a translation to a word that's intended to make us look silly. How do they make energy?

Do they strap a device to them when they have a gear set? And why do they do it? It doesn't go that in depth. Yeah, I think, I don't think we need to ask any questions about that. It doesn't tell you

the device. What's the function for creating energy from gay sex? It's friction, isn't it? They said it's kinetic energy. But why? But why would you do it?

Why would you want to do it? I don't know. It's kinetic energy. Why gay sex? Why can't it just be sex? Maybe it's more friction? I don't know. But then it's anal sex, not gay sex.

I think it's beside the point. Of red as much as... It's A, A is fake, and we caught him. And he hasn't got chat GBT to save him. I'll bet B. It's A, mate. It's A, we caught him. He's biting his nails because you're nervous. I'm actually got him. I don bet they. It's ear, mate. It's ear. We caught him. He's biting his nails

because you're nervous. I'm onto you. I've actually got him. I've got a hook laying in the sink here. I don't understand what you want me to answer. Why would it be gear sex?

Why can't it be anal sex? Tom. Yeah, that is an interesting detail. I don't know. He's tried to trip up. He's tried to trip up. Tom, can I just ask you

through extensive... I've read out the whole article. But then again, because I think it's here, that means it must be C. Right, that makes no sense. Tom, can I ask you a question, please?

Can you just say the words to me? That's all I want you to say. So, say... This isn't fair, though, because... No, no, no. All I want to say is, say kinetic energy. Kinetic energy?

Say groundhog. Groundhog? And say... What was the other one just new zealand say karataki that's not the name of it i know that i know the fake one what it's groundhog that's not the name of the that's not the name of the mountain no i know but whatever the answer is groundhog i'll tell you why I learned this off a magician the other day I can read people now yeah yeah alright cool it's Groundhog because you look to your right

when you said that buddy which means you're lying I always look to my right when I think Groundhog I got him I'm out I think

I don't think it is Groundhog but we should double down to see if this magician bollocks is any real because I think that's more impressive than even just getting it right Phil have you been in the

room for the last 15 i think it is triple bluff so i thought i realistically he did say he created the other one it's not it's not like improvised by a robot or anything i could be lying oh that's mean that's the whole point of the game it is he could have been oh my god he told me earlier on as well no but he told me earlier on as well. No, but he told me because I brought it on. I think it's C. Did he let me bring it? Did he let me bring it? Then I just did a magic trick and I think it's C now.

What? You didn't do magic... By the way, Hussein told me what he's learned here. Mate, you can't deem yourself an expert in this. I got Luke. That was for picking cards. I got Luke. It's not figuring out if gear sex makes energy.

Can I just... Time out for one second He did the same magic trick Last week And got it fucking So horrendously wrong Anyway I think you understand what I did

He's trained in the He's trained in the dark arts I picked Luke's card Out of 52 I figured it out Just by looking at him Okay right fine That's impressive

Yeah yeah no But why does that mean You can determine headlines Because I could read Facial features and shit Do you know what Phil I think it's A And I was wrong So I said C And your magic trick Does that mean you can determine headlines? Because I could read facial features and shit. Do you know what, Phil? I think it's A, and I was wrong.

So I said C, and your magic trick tells you that it's C. So therefore, I think I'm happy to go with it. That's not fair. My heart says B, and my magic says C. You've got to guess properly. Logically, logically. Nah, that's too big. You've got to guess. You can't just flip a coin and guess.

Logically, based on the fact, the minimal amount of detail and the fact that we don't know what the actual mountain name means. He's trying to beat us, but I don't know what he's trying to beat us to do. What do you want us to do? Let's go with the magic trick then.

No, but he's pretending. He was pretending that he's angry. He's pretending that he's angry about us going with C. No, I'm not angry. He wants us to go with C. I don't mind which one you go with. I just don't want you to flip a coin.

I think it's Abe, so let's go with C. That's stupid. Oh, scared, are we? Yeah. It's bollocks anyway. We lose every week. It doesn't matter anymore. It does matter.

Don't you dare say that. This fucking matters. This twat's got us three times, mate. It doesn't matter. What sort of passion is that? Come it. What is the fucking passion? There is no passion.

There is no aggression. I think the older people in this room, you being the oldest by far, I think we go B or Magician C. If you're confident that that reading of Tom worked, then back it. Because we've been doing fucking nish every other week

we can't be pretending that gay sex makes energy is a real headline it is real but why wouldn't it be anal sex Lewis you're going around in circles here

it would be answer me this question why wouldn't it say anal sex we right here are crossroads you're a roundabout why wouldn't it say

anal sex because it does make energy it's obvious no but why I'm not just being that why wouldn't it say anal sex why is it saying gay sex?

Cause surely anal sex with a female still is the same thing as gay sex with a male. That may also happen. That's not what the article is though. Yeah, Lewis, I think you're thinking too. Let's just go B or C, or magician C. Do what you want, man. No, you need to put input.

I think it's B. I think it's B. Oh, for fuck's sake. I said B from the start. I think it's B and I think the B Oh for fuck's sake I said B from the start I think it's B and I think the fucking So yet again you all disagree

I thought it was B from the start I think it's B and I think the mountain name is an insult to us Yeah I know That's what I think it is What's the mountain name? I have no idea what it is

but he gave such little detail Taranaki I think it's a translation for you're a fucking bunch of idiots or some shit like that What's Taranaki backwards? It's Mount Taranaki on the North Island of New Zealand What's Taranaki backwards? It's Mount Taranaki on the North Island

of New Zealand. What's Taranaki if you spell it backwards? A-k-n-a-r-n-a-t. E-k-n-a-r-n-a-t. What, are you speaking in Ork? E-k-n-a-r-n-a-t. Okay, this is going to be,

it's going to be. It's not B. I don't really care. If it's C, I'm going to quit the show Do the C, do the C then. Do the C then. Let's do C.

No. We need an answer. It's not C. But he's doubled down on his magic trick bollocks. I want to see if this is real No but it's not We're going to find out It's not real

When we find out It isn't C And then he's going to be like Oh Hang on a second Has Theo ever been right? It's C guys Well yeah

We've both been right once But we chose the wrong time To go with our opinion He's never Oh my god That's why we should choose him We need an answer The next word

That comes to your mouth Better be a letter and that's your vote feel i want to tell you right now no it's not i want to tell you right now i want to tell you right now look at me in the eye i believe in you okay then you believe in me you believe in magic c c okay we won't see then it's gonna be b though isn't it probably ready it's a gay sex headline it's probably a right so what did you go for? The Mount Taranaki? No.

No, beaver. We've gone for the groundhog. The beaver. Sorry. Right. So, you've gone for the groundhog. It's a fake story, right? Okay.

Mount Taranaki is a real... It's real. That's a real story. So, Mount Taranaki joins T. U urawira a vast native forest on the north island told you and the river they're all recognized as people when he said he made when he said he did it himself i thought he he tried to be smart i mean silly name there why didn't we do that? Phil is correct.

It's the false one, isn't it? Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil. The ground dog's real. Oh my God. The gay sex is fake. Of course it's fake. Yeah, obviously. Of course it's fake.

Why does gay sex make energy? Why would they, why would they? Obviously. Obviously. Obviously. Obviously. Why does gear sex make energy? Why would they, obviously. Obviously. Obviously I'd make that. Why would they try all that? Why would they invest research into gear sex making energy? Wait, can you make up the Phil, Phil, Phil? No.

That was real apparently. That's real. That's real. Your magic trick is bollocks. He was welcome with chants of Phil. Phil. Do you know what? Do you know what? Of course. Do you know what? Do you know what?

Of course. Do you know what? Of course the gay sex is fucking- Five seconds into that entire segment, I went, that's gotta be bollocks. He went, he went, his opening line was, scientists discover gay sex.

Well, hang on. Dr. Max Powers. Oh my God, guys. Do you know the bit- I said that. Do you know the bit I left out? discovered gay sex hang on Dr Max Powers oh my god guys do you know the bit I said that do you know the bit I left out do you know the bit

I left out the bit I left out Elon Musk is reportedly developing a device called the Powerbottom 3000 to capture and

store this revolutionary new energy source lads I can't believe like like, what has he I think the wider picture is maybe magic's not real. I actually, yeah.

Yet again, I've got in your head. Do you want to, so I did use chat GBT, I was just lying to you. I asked chat GBT, give me a crazy news story about gay sex. Yeah, of course. Can we just talk as a threesome here, as a threesome for next week?

Right, we have to go with logic because we're trying to outthink him so much. He's not even double bluffing. I agree. He is single bluffed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't even bluffed.

It's not even a bluff, mate. He wrote a headline. It was so obvious. He wrote a headline about gay sex in it. And we went, no, it can't be because he would have

just written that. By the way, I was thinking, have I told him the fake one again? Because he was so adamant the gay sex one was real. Yeah, mate. 100% real. Are you kidding me? Yeah, of course it is. It's kinetic energy.

It's kinetic energy. Once again, once again, I hadn't even finished the headline. He goes, I've seen that already. It's true. I didn't say that. He did. I didn't say I'd seen it. I said it is real. No, he said it was somewhere. that already. It's true. I didn't say that. He did. I didn't say I'd seen it. I said it is real.

No, he was somewhere. He was part of the trials. It's just like, why would they even be trialling that and put money and investment into something that, how would you even measure it? I asked him on it.

I actually grilled him on it and he had no answers because it was fake. And yet we still went with C. What you need to stop doing then, instead of like, don't you dare blame this on me, Mr. Magic Mud

Darren Brown over there if you thought that was the right answer right instead of going round in circles going like that means it

must be C if it's A if it's B if it's C he did say all along A he was fake but then you

change your mind because he said Magic but then you say if it's A then it must be C you told me you were trained in the

dark arts I'm going to go with what you say well well done Tom Slytherin so that's that's three now If you want to say if it's A then it must be C. You told me you were trained in the dark art. I'm going to go with what you say. Well well done Tom. Slytherin. So that's that's three now. Yeah I'm giving up now.

I fucking hate this game. But don't forget it's first to five losers. You've got to remember though boys we only have a one in three chance of winning.

He's a two in three. He's got better odds every week. No but his whole objective is to convince us otherwise. Yeah so he's got better odds. He's got even better odds

than one in three because the other three people trying to work out our fucking us three wait let's see right well I'll go short with my facts

I've got two short ones against just me because we're running long a benefit you've three minds against one

I don't think they count for mine and also it's me of course the gay sex story was fake yeah I can't believe we just did we could have

stopped it after one and gone right well that's fake Phil Phil Phil also shout out guy sex story was fake. Yeah, I can't believe we just did... We could have stopped it after one and gone, Rob, well, that's fake. Phil. Phil. Phil. Fuck off. Phil.

Also, shout out F.I.L. on TikTok. That's why... That's only another reason why I thought that might have been fake. Oh, Phil's got F.I.L. Right, I'm going to do

two small facts instead of my big one. So, for facts, before mating, male drafts actually headbutt the females in the bladder until they pee, and then they lick it up my big one. So, for fact, before mating, male giraffes actually headbutt the females in the bladder until they pee

and then they lick it up to see if she's ovulating. That's crazy. And if they ovulate, then they'll penetrate. You know they also beat up their kids? Do they?

Yeah. So when they get attacked by tigers and that, they just start trampling their own young so the tiger can't do it. Yeah. And it's my second... So they can't take the adults, you mean? No, so they'd rather kill their own young than the tiger can't do it yeah and it's my second they can't

take the adults you mean no so they'd rather kill their own young than a tiger what why I think it gets confused a little bit is that even true

yeah it is it is good giraffes are walking around going there's something wrong with you oh let's not kill the tiger this time

I'm just gonna kill the fucking baby to save other people kill it I'm just going to kill the fucking baby. To save other people, kill it. I'm going to do it. They're our babies. I don't think you're right, mate. Why would they kill the dragon? Yeah, see?

This is known as infanticide. No, by accidentally stepping on it. Yeah. They don't think it's a lion. That's got nothing to do with it. It's a lion. They're under attack from a tiger, and they go, right, let's kill our own rather than the tiger.

The mother kicks her baby so it can save her the kick was pure love pure love pure love well yeah see same response yeah

what do you mean yeah it doesn't say anything about predators nothing to do with predators whatsoever predator my next little quick fact as well it was it doesn't say anything about predators nothing to do with predators whatsoever predator um my next little quick fact as well um it was so basically pigs don't know that the sky exists because they they're evolutionarily they can't look up but how do they that can't be right the

way their bones are they have you ever seen a pig look up yeah well what if you pick it up mate yeah you could pick it up and Mate, what if you bite it? Oh my God, yeah, you could pick it up and show it. Has anyone ever done that? Imagine them would. Surely. I don't think anyone's ever went, no. I do that to my dog.

I sometimes show it the microwave. What? Because he's never seen it before, has he? The dog's here having a lovely time. He goes, oh, it's levitating. Sometimes if I'm playing with it, I'm just like, not like that either. Like petting her or whatever. I'm like, oh, do you want to have a look at the kettle?

Because she's never seen it before. Or like I show her herself in the mirror like this. She's like. Got a new Nespresso machine. You want to see? What goes on in your head those are my fucks have you not seen that

trend on TikTok with people doing that and I thought I'd try it obviously didn't record it but or just sometimes open the fridge and show her the fridge

fucking what the hell are they your only two facts today yeah I had a really long one but we ran long on the Newcastle stuff so we'll save that

for another day you know spider pig when it walks on the ceiling surely Surely I can see the sky. No, because he's technically looking... He's looking down. Yeah, I swear, a pig can never look up. See? Well, yeah, you just tilt it.

Do you know the best way to dispose of a body? You say this every week and we get it. You watch Snatch. He's seen Snatch, yeah. What's Snatch? The film. The film where Bricktop says a group of

angry pigs 12 a dozen pigs will get through a dead body in two hours but also that is not the

best way to disposal body I told you the best way to disposal body in the ocean no you bury it

12 feet deep and then a dead dog a dead animal above it but you bury it stood up so when And then a dead dog. A dead animal above it, but you bury it stood up. Yeah. So when infrared things come, they see the dead dog.

And so they get all the dogs in. They're like, oh, there's a dead body. And it's just a dead animal. They go, oh, leave that. Then you don't see a six foot long dead body. They just see the dead dog on top. Quite hard to we don't advise

doing this well we've spoke about it before that's how I knew it I haven't killed anyone well if you were to but that's yeah

right you like the philosopher no no no it's got quiz we've got a quiz quiz to wrap up in it and for now because

it was getting too easy like with fucking guessing Gaz and me doing the quiz Ollie's now doing the quiz I've got a missed FaceTime from Cal Freezy yeah

FaceTime him should we call him back yeah before we do it if you want mate why do I look so HD oh this is good Why do I look so HD? Oh, this is good.

Why do I look like a lizard in my eyes? Well, there goes that. Right, buzzer noises, please. Phil. Oh, good on you. Nice. Hot. Phil. Nice. Hut. Hut. Hut.

Stripes. Stripes. Okay, question one. What does the term piano mean in Italian? Hut. Music machine. No. Piano.

It's not my guess. Stripes. Yep. Let's go with proven. No. Phil. Keys. No.

Do you want a clue? Yeah. Piano. it's not actually related to a piano yes to the piano right that makes it

exponentially harder yeah how are we ever going to guess oh it doesn't mean piano no it's in Italian

piano piano piano if you can't get it I'll just move on give us a clue though come on give us a clue

um piano it's a piano piano if you can't get it I'll just move on give us a clue though come on give us a clue give us a clue piano it's a I don't want to give a clue without giving it away though you won't it's to do with tension hot

string machine no tension oh piano I mean stripes stress no I don't know it means soft right Oh, piano. I mean, stripes. Stress. No. I don't know.

It means soft. Right. It means soft in Italian. Did you know that? That was odd. How are we going to know that? That was very odd. I thought that's just like a...

Obviously, everyone knows that. How do you not know what fucking soft is in Italian? Well, there's a question. I should... He's a music genius, apparently. And you speak Italian. A music genius is an... Oh, genius.

Is an Italian language. Yeah. No, but it's just one of those things that if you know it, you know it, don't you? Okay, question two. I wonder why that Italian girl I slept with kept shouting piano at me. Question two.

Which country is the world's largest producer of vanilla? Oh, it's hot. hot that was me whatever mine is phil correct one what did you say madagascar how would you know that it's always madagascan vanilla isn't it just well known is it yeah i was gonna say question three actually we'll do it as two because you didn't really get the first one yeah uh which is the only bird capable of flying backwards? Stripes. Hummingbird. Two points to Theo, baby. How the fuck does he know that? I'm smart, mate.

He's been given the answers. I'm smart. Question three. What is the chemical formula for methane? Phil. ME. No. Oh.

Formula. Formula. Formula for methane, yeah. So not the periodic table. Stripes. It's not an element, is it? Stripes. CO2H? No.

I've got no idea. Come on, you've got to guess. What's the question? Has it got carbon dioxide in it? It's got carbon in it. What's the question? Has it got carbon dioxide in it? It's got carbon in it. What's the chemical formula for methane? Oh, M-E. Stripes.

That's what Tom said. C-H? O. No. C-H2? No. C-H3? C-H1?

C-H4? Correct. Damn! No, you have to give me that. You had four guesses. You4. Correct. Damn! I know you have to give me that. You had four guesses. You had five guesses. You thought me fate was ME. So my second guess was CH4.

Correct. Pretty good. Question four. That's bollocks. That is bollocks. Question four. 2-1-0. Which is the only continent without a desert?

Stripes. Guess. Go, go, go. Go! North America. Wrong. It, go, go. Go. North America. Wrong. It is without a desert. One's been taken off the board.

Hot. It's this guy, isn't it? Have you typed? I haven't buzzed in. Oh, right. Europe. Correct. Yeah, it is Europe.

Oh, yeah. Obviously, Nevada. 211. I got one Nevada. 211. I got one right. Question five. Who was the first woman to win a Nobel Prize? Hearts, stripes. Oh, I know this.

Oh my God. I know her. Well, I know her. I know the first Chinese woman. I know the first Chinese woman. I mean, I don't know. Lulu. No. Fuck. Madame Curie? Marie Curie. I know the first Chinese woman I mean Toon Lulu No Fuck

Madame Curie Marie Curie Yeah yeah Marie Curie Yeah I'll give you that That's what my You want an extra one Yeah

There's one But it's between you two No it's extra hard bonus Extra hard bonus Alright cool You get 10 points For this one 10 points

Okay Okay I will go with I've got random knowledge Up here you know okay I will go with I've got random knowledge up here you know you've cooked us so far what is the capital city

of Kazakhstan fuck off oh stripes I don't know I don't know I don't know oh that's no it's not oh damn it's wrong

I was going to say Karachi but it's wrong yeah it's Pakistan Pakistan I can do a different question here what is your answer it's called Astana

yeah never never would have got that never getting that okay fair enough guys you know let's do another capital bet you'll get it

what's the capital city of Bhutan I don't know no thanks we can start from another capital. Bet you'll get it. What's the capital city of Bhutan? I don't know. No, thanks. We can start for another capital. I was joking. Stripes. Ed Sheeran's just performed that.

Manimar. No, Thimphu. How do you know? We asked for another capital. I gave one. I was joking. This is a very easy question. I thought you were going to start with capital.

Very easy question. So fingers on buzzers for the dance. In the human body which organ is responsible for producing for producing what? you've got to finish I think it's going to be producing heart

kidneys why would you answer before I finish the question you are wrong though okay before I finish the question? You've already done it. I know it's kidneys. You are wrong though. Okay, carry on with the next question now. Insulin. Oh, for fuck's sake.

I don't know. Phil? Phil? I know this. Yeah, I do know this. He doesn't know it, Phil. That is the liver. Wrong.

No, Phil, the pancreas. Correct. Get it! Lewis loses. Shit. Well. How many dances you got to do probably like seven yeah

five I think you should do like a medley so please subscribe because we're very close to 50,000 and if you're an audio listener what do you have to say

to them Lewis this is an exclusive isn't it yeah there's been a mime in this room the entire podcast so head over to YouTube if you want to see

what you missed out on see you later pretending I had it all together i need to escape my circumstances i am not a doormat stories that heal share yours together we are unsinkable we are unsinkable.com.