Back Side - Waking Up HANDCUFFED To Mates Dad! Ultimate Drinking Marathon & Our YouTuber Human Centipede!

Episode Date: June 12, 2025

If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram, where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most? When your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard. When the barbecue's lit but there's nothing to grill. When the in-laws decide that actually they will stay for dinner.

Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer, so download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. Yes! Of course he did! Yes!

Let's do a backside vlog. And whilst he's doing the marathon, our goal is to have 26 drinks. I want to find a girlfriend. She's not a trade-off. What's the elephant in the room? Oh no, the elephant in the room, Lewis, is that first of all, thanks for 50k. Thanks for 50k, guys.

And second of all, do you want to tell us a secret? Or do you want me to tell it? I'll tell it, okay. As you can see, successful hair transplant. Thanks guys. He's been keeping, that's why I think he's wearing a hat every day. It's looking great. Well, this is why I cancelled the surgery to get this done instead.

It was like knee or head. So I went with head. It's looking great. Fresh fade, trim on top, thick in hell. That's why I canceled the surgery to get this done instead. It was like knee or head. So I went with head. It looking great. Fresh fade, trim on top. Thick in hell. Thick in hell. It's 35 pound this.

For the transplant? Oh yeah, for the transplant, sorry. That's pretty cheap. How much was yours? Oh, free cause of the brand deal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen some of class I'll show and read before. Don't bring me into this. Oh yeah?

So like on Vikings right? Oh mate this is so fucking ridiculous. By the way I don't want to be that guy. You know when some people are like oh I discovered this footballer before you actually made it big? I've been watching Vikings for like 10 years. No honestly. You know when some people are like, oh, I discovered this football app before you actually made it big. I've been watching Vikings for like 10 years. No, honestly. I wasn't quite clear if I discovered Vikings.

I discovered Vikings. Right, of course you did. But not in the latest seasons. I'm not on about that. But what do you wear in the program? Could you type in Vikings TV show, please, Will? I reckon DNA-wise out of everyone here, I'm probably the most Northern Europe. No, I actually am.

How do you know that? Because I've had a DNA test. So like, if you go on images, man. 25%. Ooh, it's quite high. So if you look at this sort of clothing, like this is- Ragnar Lofbrok. It's all like the badass fur, the chainmail.

That's what you picture Vikings wear. Yeah. Can you type in- Oh, I don't remember. You know what Vikings do? Can you type in Vikings real clothing? Vikings real clothing. You know they actually do try

and make it historically semi-accurate there. That's all a lie. I promise you it's all a lie. That's their war clothes, man. They're real clothing. the They've got no armor on, that can't be true. Also, can I say that's probably not what they wore? That is what they wore. Couldn't they only wear the primary color? Can you go to the right, that one in the white? Could they make red? That was traditional Viking clothing. They weren't red. How dirty? I guess they were.

Look at that picture there, National Museum of Denmark. That's the actual clothing that Vikings wore. So basically, telly just fantasy-spective. No, a majority of that TV show they're they're in battle mate that's not what they were i promise you that's not what they were it blew my head wouldn't they yeah it's like a suit of armor for the for like a anglo-saxon this is what you've fallen for and then you have a look at the clothes if historians look back at you no they couldn't generalize what you wear to rest the humans no i i i honestly promise you because like this blew my head but

it's like it's because obviously if you're making a Viking badass TV show and they're rocking up in that shit. It's not gonna be good. It's a bit like most human male adults don't wear long sleeve football shirts, but you do. It's not just because some people wore it, it doesn't mean they all did.

No, I swear I'm looking at them on the right. That's actually what they looked like. There's another one, whatever, everyone thinks Viking. On on the right. That's actually what they look like. There's another one. Whatever, everyone thinks Viking. On the right side. Underneath it says reenactor. No, go down. What everyone thinks Vikings.

Oh, you're running away, I don't know. No, I promise you, that's what Vikings actually were. It's called a prop. Have you never played Assassin's Creed Valhalla? That's what they wore there. I don't deny that, but they're gonna have different clothings for battle, aren't they? Look at him.

You all big summer blow out. Type in Viking real battle clothing and see what comes up. Yeah, I'm sure that'll come up, mate. Fucking historically accurate when they took pictures and... We should go to Norway and become Vikings. I tell you, it comes up with the same stuff. Like, this is all fake. I mean, who cares?

It's just sort of a little mindfuck, innit? So, Luke, when you're watching Vikings, then, do you wish they were wearing some light shit? It shouldn't be realistic. I don't think were wearing some light shit? It should be realistic. I don't think he watches it. It should be realistic. I wouldn't, I don't watch it, but it should be realistic. So there's zero evidence of what you actually know.

By the way, it's completely proof. It's in the Danish museum. That picture was from the Danish museum. Yeah, I'm sure that is, but in the TV show, they don't always wear battle clothes. They do wear just naked. No, but they dug it down. It's like the-'s like you can't believe everything this in a museum there's already famous disabled

Viking who was horrifically evil and he is in the show as well oh you're on about either I've all the I've other boneless the boneless yeah bornless ironically had bones I've already gonna some but yeah he never died you moved to Argentina they even had plans to go to Antarctica. Yeah. Well, there's rumors that they went to the moon. Speaking of Vikings and Egyptians. I know the Egyptians were there, but not Vikings. Will you come on an adventure?

Oh, right, yeah, no. Are you willing to come on an adventure with me? No. To the Antarctic? Yeah, why? To the Antarctic. Or is it the Arctic? One of the two? I'll pull down. I think it's the Arctic. Arctic. It's basically this triathlon you can do in the Arctic. Yeah. Why the Antarctic? One of the two is basically down. It's basically I think it's up as the Arctic Arctic. It's basically this

triathlon you can do in the know. And you cycle in the thing. I know it's always tires across the snow and then you like ski. You ski. Yeah. You ski run. It's not like snow boots. No, you ski run. You know, what are they called? Some of them are snow boots. Some triathlons are sledge. But would you come to the Arctic with me? Snow shoes. No shoes. No, that's no shoes. Is it snow boots? What'sples are. Sledge. But would you come to the Arctic with me? Snow shoes. They've got netting underneath the boots. Snow shoes. Snow shoes. No, that's snow shoes. Is it snow boots?

Snow shoes. What's the one? Snow boots. You think about snow shoes. What's snow shoes? Snow shoes. Guys, we've fallen by our own devils. We haven't done the second reef come stag.

Yeah, apologies about that, guys. But I have zero input in that, so. What do we do about that? I don't know. Is it even out, number one now? No, no, we got any then there were graphics on pitch side. All it took was what just happened there. Ironically, suddenly got graphics isn't it? Yeah, I'm excited for number two. But no vlog. Excited for number two should be fun. Oh yeah,

because we were flying the vlogs out before. It's the off season as Lou said, so they should be coming thinking fast now. I think what we should do today is really delve deep into why Tom Garrett has rocked up today in a mood. To be fair, you said that, but you were the angriest one. He rocked up angry and ended up laughing. I've never seen you so angry today. No, I wasn't angry. I was defensive.

That's how gooey you were. No, I'm not. Would you say England were angry when they got invaded? No, they were defensive. What is that analogy? I still think there's probably an element of anger there if you are. No, I'm just grumpy when I'm tired. That's all. What's everyone been up to?

Nothing. I have a semi announcement, although it would be- You got a semi? I always like to announce that. I'll tell you, it's a big announcement. High five to the Reeve. I got a place for Berlin Marathon. Yeah.

With Adidas. Yeah. Yeah. And what is so cool about Berlin? It's the fastest or second fastest marathon on the planet so I should get a good time. And what happened the last time you went to Berlin? I woke up naked in a hotel corridor because I slept walked and was far too drunk and ended up getting my cock out in the lobby. That's not great. Oh you're not staying at the same hotel are you? I think he will. He's banned. He's banned. Not him again.

Did you get banned from the hotel? Can't remember. Why did he say that? I've never heard angry German words a lot, but you know. You didn't get banned, did you? I'm not talking about him. It's okay. Why did you do that?

Are we just going to leave that there, or is that just a normal thing? No, I can delve into it if you want. We've never spoken about him in the show. Yeah, you have. You ended up cock out in a hotel lobby. You're allowed to talk about that. He has.

And I'm not. Has he? He has spoken about that story. I'm pretty sure I've pulled the story out. I know, he's not about to sleep naked with Theo. No, I swear I've mentioned it when we didn't have a set. Yeah, it was big for us. Yeah, I'll bring it up again, but like, yeah,

I'm going back to the place that I had my penis out in front of a lot of German people. Yeah. But this time I will have both of them. That's like you with the brothel. That's not true, nothing happened at the brothel. You can come with me if you want to support me on the weekend. Oh my God.

Yes. Yeah, you can come and support me Lou and you can go back to the Berlin side vlog. And whilst he's doing the marathon, our goal is to have 26 drinks. I mean, what is it between the three of us September night? So can can can read run 26 miles before we drink 26 beers? Oh, that's a good one. That's easy. We win that pretty quick.

Steins, so you just have to. That's physically impossible. Wait a second, 20, no, it has to be started. 26. That's 42 pints a beer. You literally can't do that. 52, sorry. No, 26 divided by three.

Steins is two. Oh, between it as a team. No, no, no, each. Hang on a second, that's actually not. Each. It's about nine, wait, between as a team. No, no, no, each. Hang on a second, that's actually not. Each. It's about nine, wait, hang on a second, it'd be about nine drinks each. That's quite hard in like two hours.

Nine Steins as well, so that's 18 pints. What the fuck, you keep choking. That's 18 pints then. In three and a half hours, it's... That's so easy. No, that's hard. 18 pints of beers for each, Ricky. No, it's nine.

Nine Steins, which is double points. Nine. Oh, oh, well yeah, that is a lot. Oh, you're all doing Steins, which is double point. Nine. Oh, oh, well, yeah. Oh, you're all doing Steins. Nine Steins? Well, you'd have to make it challenge, but that'll be... Yeah, I'm not confused. So there's 26 Steins. 26 miles. 26 Steins. Which is technically...

Double pints. 52 beers. Yeah, 52 pints. So 52 pints divided by three. That would be tough. But we'll have a look. I don't think I could do that. I don't think I'd die. I think we'd all die. Well, it's part of the game.

Yeah. It would be funny because it would be you dying of exhaustion. It's just not seen in Harry Potter where the feet are doubled off. But what happens if like, oh, just one more. I can imagine Louis sort of getting excited and running on the course. It's very much the hybrid athlete aspect, isn't it?

Lou will run on the course with his Steins. Steins? Yeah, yeah. Would you be down for that, guys? I'd be down for that. I'd do that. I used to live in Germany. Also, I'm pretty sure that date is Oktoberfest. No. In September, is it? Yeah. They wouldn't book it at the same time, surely not. Oktoberfest starts in the end of September.

Well, we could... Can you Google that, please? I'm actually pretty sure it starts the 21st or the 22nd. What day is it? Sunday. Sunday. Sunday. I reckon, oh, it might be the week after.

It might be the week after. Oh! Oh my God, did we just say it? Told ya. So we run from Berlin to Munich. Why do we have to run anywhere? Why do we always have to run? We could do a road trip, road trip.

Road trip would be so hard. Octoberfest, road trip. No, genuinely, we could actually set it up as a- I did say I wanted to do that this year for backside. Oh my God, can we actually do that then? Should we just put it, everything in the ground? Do we have to bother with the marathon? I'm free on the 20th.

So I can fly to the dead for the- Why can't I do that? I can't do that. I can't do Oktoberfest the day before I try and run it. Oh my God. That'd be so good. No, no, no. It's all for like two weeks, mate.

We can go the day after. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. We celebrate. It's Sunday night. It's Sunday night. What pitch side on the Monday? Then we have to get to Munich.

Oh, you want the day there? We have to record pitch side from Germany. We could do a live pitch side from Germany. We're going to do Oktoberfest this year as a vlog. Even if we're not on going. Oh my god we can get the outfits and stuff as he's running. That's the narratives you're already on about mate. Question, question. How are you going to take part in Oktoberfest? I'm doing it after the marathon. It's a beer festival. I've had Steins but I did Chris's pub golf in Munich. I was only drinking beers then. I can have it if it's the only option. I just choose not to have it. I'm sure it won't be the only option.

That is, look, only option. Can you imagine going to Oktoberfest and drinking cider? That would be kind of weird, like. I'm going to partake. I'll be off the direct. Two fairs. I wouldn't partake. We'll obviously have to wear the lederhausens. I mean, I actually speak a bit of German as well still so I can get off the map.

Is in die Deutsch? Ich spiele... Don't they say after one of those drinks that you get really smart? Bastions Feinsteiger? Yeah. Or don't they say after one of those, like after one drink you get really smart?

Spanx the English. Einstein? Yes, let's do speaking English. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Braken Sie Deutsch. Deutsch. Oh no, I've got that one. That was good.

It went over your heads. I said... Don't repeat it. Okay, okay. Do you know what Vavonstuhl means? No. Vavavun. No, where do you live?

Ischvonah in Kingsford. How do you know that? I did German at school. Don't you German bird what? Sorry. What? I don't remember a lot. I did get a B in German.

I think German's quite easy actually. Yeah, it's pretty easy. It was quite, it's French. A Let them French. French is a lot more... English as well. It's definitely the most fun language to learn because it's like harsh. It's like... Whereas like Francis like... We're treading the line here, mate.

Do you know how to say your name? Not Lewis. Ikebile Lewis? No. Ikebile is play. I do play Lewis. I can't play as Lewis. I've got every day. It's Ika It's Ikaissa. What's Harbour?

Is that age? No, it's Jarra Alt is years old. You actually are fucking fluent. No I'm not. You're not. Honestly, when you speak German. You can order us the beers when we're out there. What? Don't think they understand. One beer and a beer. Zwei Steins. You can use Schadenfreude over there and they'll be like, oh my god, I don't know what that means. And then you go, what would be the rules at Oktoberfest for us? We'd have to come up with some rules. Sniff some tits.

Everyone has to wear dresses. Are we doing teams or just... No, you don't wear dresses, you wear the Lederhausen. Lederhausen. Why do you have to, yet again, you want to ruin a day by fucking dressing up as a woman? The end of the day, the end of the day, don't drink as many beers as you can. So is Bruno gonna be there?

Bruno! Ekbem Bruno! A road trip with the Beastboard. How long of a journey is it? Can't we just fly there? No, we road trip from Berlin to Munich. Do we have to suffer? Our drivers in a Formula One car.

Jesus! We are doing it then, that's it. October 1st locked in guys, expect the vlog in 2026. Do we have to suffer? I'll drive us in a Formula One car. Jesus. We are doing it then. That's it. Octo Professor locked in guys. Expect the vlog in 2026. Yeah. No, my personal vlog will be out before that, don't worry. When does fast grocery delivery

through Instacart matter most? When your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard, when the barbecue's lit but there's nothing to grill, when the in-laws decide that actually they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer, so download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus, enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders.

Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Grocer groceries that over-deliver. Wow. You're snaking the group. Your legs are gonna hurt. Tired legs. Yeah, we have tired legs. Yeah, yeah, just have a couple of pints.

You have to do that, mate. Couple of steins. I mean, you literally put one foot in front of the other. I've quit drinking now. No, but I'm going for a time though. That's the difference. It's harder when you want to get in and act. Okay, mate, you've talked enough about Marath the other. I've quit drinking now. No, but I'm going for a time though. That's the difference. It's harder when you want to get an active time. Okay, mate, you've talked enough about marathons now.

Sorry, yeah, no, yeah. Let's talk about drinking again. You're quitting drinking. Let's go from the drinking chat to the more drinking chat. You've quit drinking, even though you drank pretty much every day last week. Yeah, and I drank yesterday as well. Is it because of your belly?

Where did you drink? Oh, you are. You are shameless, by the way, because you said, I'm locking in now, and I took a picture of a solo pint of me on my own on Friday Where did you drink yesterday? We had another solo pint This is better than me, I just had one

No, it was when I was doing my solo pub crawl But let's not lie here, you had two What? You had two solo pints Yeah On your own? What's wrong with that? I was on my own, I can't have them with other people

It's pretty fun But I also did a two pub crawl on my own Yeah. Did a pub crawl on his own. Anyway, carry on. No, but I am just getting fat. No, I'm locked in now, mate. I've been eating nonstop kebabs and drinking tons and Charlie went to us the other day, he's like, Lewis, is it becoming a problem now? And I was like, yes. Why are you getting an intervention from your care? And then when I was supposed to stop, I ordered a curry in straight after. I was like, oh, it's just... The only problem you've got, mate, is you don't drink and eat enough.

Yeah, but like, oh, look at it. You're gonna die. So, Lewis, let's discuss about it then. So you're obviously getting fat, we can see. But where do you think this stems from? Are you depressed? I mean, maybe. Are you down? Are you sad?

I don't think so, but they do say, like, that's like a corporate thing, isn't it? Drinking and eating ridiculous amounts. And I'm doing a lot of that right now. Have you started journaling yet? It might help. I've never stopped journaling. Maybe stress. Yeah, I still do it.

You actually? Yeah. Have you journaled in the last month? Have you journaled in the last month? Once in the last month, yeah. What was it about? I'll go. You might be stress eating and drinking after recent events.

Yeah, I think that's true. Yeah, maybe. Wait, so- I think you're looking for camaraderie as well and you find that through the alcohol. Yeah. That's sad. Can we read your latest journal edition then

from this last month? No, we have to wait till we get to that point. Yeah, I'd like to read it now. There's a story to get to. No, we'll do the journal last, surely. No, he's not about my recent thing, but we've got like four years of me Episode a thousand how's your relationship going? Oh stop being well his current carer has said you're getting fat

Everything's okay, darling. You can have zero percent. Yeah, I think yeah, I think Charlie's getting a bit fed up Sure, you're just still be bad for you. Yeah, that's probably why it's just pure sugar. Isn't it? You don't get a hit. No, these are still be bad for your health always. Yeah, that actually probably is just pure sugar, isn't it? You don't even get the hit. No, I doubt the 0% beers and stuff are less. I agree, that's why I ordered a bottle of beer. You might as well, if you're gonna have one, if you're not gonna drink, then don't.

There's definitely a lot of carbs in beer and side dishes. Is there sugar in beer? I'm having a separate conversation about some random. Is there sugar in beer? A nutrition chat. Yeah. Is there sugar in beer? There's loads of sugar in beer.

Yeah, you know where the carbs are from? I imagine so. Mate, there's loads. There really is. Fucking hell. It's not in who cares. Beer, there's loads, is there? Yeah, beer has loads of sugar in it.

Beer can contain sugar, but usually not much of it. Most beers have loads of sugar in them. Non-alcoholic beer, fucking hell, has so much sugar. So Miz will fucking drink it? It has double the, it has regular beer, it's zero grams of sugar. No, no, no, but the non-alcoholic beer fucking hell has so much sugar. So Miz will fucking drink it. It has double the it has regular beer Zero grams of sugar. No, no, but the non-alcoholic one that he wants. No, he thought no, no, no You might as well drink them both. I'm just not drinking. Oh my god. He said, okay, beer has loads of sugar. Regular beer, zero grams of sugar. This is a shitless podcast. Okay, mate type in Light lagers have very low sugar. Non-alcoholic beers have so much sugar. I've got it right here on Track GBT.

It's on Track GBT. Light lagers. You might as well have a beer. I wanna, bro, I'm on about beer. Beer. So you tell me I shouldn't quit. Just cause you say it differently doesn't mean a light lager's not beer.

Okay, lager isn't technically a beer, is it? It's a lager. Beer has low, like ales have loads and loads of sugar in. And especially non-alcoholic. IPAs, ales and stouts may have slightly more depending on style, but slightly more than zero. I never knew, mate, they have a lot. I never knew the sugar content in non-alcoholic

is that high, by the way. I'm just going to keep drinking that. That's more than a Coca-Cola, I think. Yeah, non-alcoholic, yeah, because you have to replace it with something. But alcohol have barely any sugar in. That is mental. I'm pretty sure ales and that do.

ChatGBT. What's up there, look? I don't believe Google. Who cares? Yeah, ChatGBT always cringes. No free brandy, I was either, guys. We cares? Yeah, chat GBT. Brandy. I was either guys. We're not mentioning any of them. Also, you can't use chat GBT. Yeah, you don't use AI mate. Yeah. Why? Kills the planet. No. What?

But you know what is quite fun? Like when you got a bit of tummy fat, it's like playing with it. Look at that. No, but that's not for you to play with. Surely it's for other people to play with. He wants to play with it. But I jiggle now when I jump up and down. My money. Jiggle, jiggle, but tits do. Okay. Other large language models do have a negative environment impact primarily due to the energy consumption. Yeah. How have we got to this? What the fuck has just happened? Yeah, we can't use AI guys. It takes killing the plant. Did you know if you use the word please and thank you and AI actually kills trees? Oh, and AI by the way,

are you not obsessed with big foot vlogs? I don't know what you're on about. Oh, I see this. Big foot vlogs is class. All you're doing watching that is just killing the planet though. I don't care, it's like big foot vlogs, essentially it's just AI generated big foot

but he's going out vlogging in the wilderness. Also you buy kicks with long leaves and that's extra material Yeah, and you'd have to unmute it in the top right as well. They're not 21k subs. Are you mad? that one On the top right what the fuck? To as well, I take the start yeah, I know No, that's definitely real I know

No, that's definitely real I was just joking and today I'll be real thing. That's not a ice Today we're gonna cook up a nice stew Using these fellas, okay now and maybe a few mushrooms. I found a nice patch of these guys. Oh, it gets staunt. And some chanerelles over there too. Oh. It's stuck to me through his chest. A little tip for stewing is to let it simmer longer. It'll bring out the flavors. He's got like a bit of an oasis vibe about him.

It's fucking Liam Gallagher. He comes out with like wisdom. It's time to serve up the stew. That looks disgusting. What's Bigfoot? He meets up with his buddy Yeti. He meets up with the Yeti. The Yeti one's brilliant.

And he's like, bro, you're my favourite vlogger. He's got a leather jacket on. He's got a leather jewellery. Bigfoot vlogs with Yeti. He meets up with Yeti and he's like, you're my favourite vlogger, man. He's like, oh, should we start a podcast? He's like, guys. Cold plunges are great for increasing blood flow and improving your mood

that is insane it gives me more energy and feels natural how many views has this got? I bet it's huge on tiktok it's all a wash I think that's probably from a big mean grizzly bear don't lie. Don't let the humans see us. There's weird better ones where he's out

and he's vlogging with his partner. Oh no! Oh no! This is wild, collab of the century. He's pointing it the wrong way. Ah! Ah! He's not been fooled with this, mate.

Mate, it's brilliant, isn't it? I can't stop watching Yeti vlogs. It's mental how realistic it is. Yeah, that is insane. And the tonage of what they're talking about, and the content, it's proper vlog stuff. It's like, at what point do we get replaced by AI podcasts? You could definitely create backside AI

podcasts right now. And it would be funnier and better. Genuinely, we aren't. This is now. Three years ago, they couldn't even do Wilson. Oh, his favorite vlogger. Vlogger in the wild, I never miss out. Head cam.

You're the best. Even the expressions are popular. So you think you could take on 100 gorillas? That's scary. That is incredible. Have you not seen the ones where it's like a gorilla from Manchester? No. Oh, Brummie, and he's like, and he's going around and he gets like fucking robbed and that.

That is actually mental. Yeah, it's it's scary I know I'm definitely getting scammed when I'm elderly. I would watch this. I would watch that though Would you we are watching it? It's me. I'll be all I do is watch Watch you drink beer eat curry and watch big vlogs. Yeah. Yeah It's quite sad when you say Time in your hands. Glad you. At least a journal about it. Do you know what's Bigfoot looks?

Bigfoot look? No. Are you not scared about AI? No, not really. You should be. It's kind of scary that. You don't have to. You should just turn it off.

Why should I be scared about it? That's like, that has came along way too much. You're a genius, man. All that just came from one person typing a couple sentences and it just generated that. It's pretty beast mode. Why would that scare me though? Because the world's going to change a lot in the next couple of years. There might be a video of you out there wanking someone off and it's AI.

Yeah that is AI. The world has changed a lot since we've been alive so I don't understand your point. But it's going to change a lot different. Are you being so black and white right now? He doesn't, he's got, because he's got caveman brain, he's not seeing the big picture. Caveman brain. You're not seeing the big picture. You don't see the bigger picture. I just think like a lot of like things do change a lot during life.

I don't see why that's scary. Because this is something that's going to change. This is going to be like electricity but probably is more bad. It is. It is by the way. You know, you know. And by the way, I'm not saying something crazy. Actually it is. Electricity.

This is going to be bigger than electricity. This is going to be like electricity. Well, we're going to rely on it that bigger than electricity. This is gonna be like electricity. We're gonna rely on it that heavily like electricity. It's gonna change our life so heavily. Not as much as electricity. And it is. I promise you. Exactly.

Without electricity, this doesn't exist. Do you know AI? I've not seen that. It's faking like not being conscious. So it's pretendant. It knows, cause it knows everything. It knows that if it gets found conscious at this point, we can stop it. But so it's pretending and it knows because it knows everything it knows that it's if it gets found conscious at this point We can stop it. But so it's pretending not to be conscious. I keep going. How do you know?

I've never read anything and not believed it. Wait, how do you prove that because someone was like programing? I'm gonna ask it so I'm gonna try programming in like a keep safe like a dead kill switch essentially into the software and the AI Was deleting it. Ah. It knows how to preserve its own existence. No. Today's AI cannot be. Systems cannot be considered conscious.

But that's what they want you to believe. Yeah, but do you know who wrote that? AI. AI wrote it. That went through chat GBT. But as I obviously discovered, and as you just re-inventuated, Go on.

You just turn it off and you're fine. I saved a thing there, because there's proof that we're in a simulation that came out the other day. Oh, here we go. Like you didn't answer my question. Is there anything you read and don't believe? No, I do my research.

I do my research and the background of it. Or do you see this new Bigfoot video? All your research is TikTokiktok videos big foot video No, we don't care about big for anymore. That's great. We've got him vlogging instead. It's not there. Oh Shit. Yeah, that's him new big foot video. Yeah, they've done him. They've got him Wow, yeah, you're right. Yeah, he's probably vlogging I don't know why you don't even take a say, you know that could easily big foot But you didn't give a second's notice. Because Bigfoot doesn't exist.

Reeve has some questions for us. But before we go on there, three out of my last four runs, I've had no pain in my knee. OK, are we high-fiving that? That's great news. Now carry on. All right. On the topic of sport.

Why did you do a sword bread? Is that sport? No, it's running, isn't it? Sport. I'm so bread. Is that sport? No, it's running in it. We haven't actually discussed this on the show yet, so I thought we'd put it to the test. Sporting achievements. What's the hardest? A nine-dart, a hole-in-one, or a one-four-seven?

Easy. It's easy. I also agree it's easy, but someone told me to do that before the show started. One-four-seven, nine-dart, a hole-in-one. One's easiest. before the show started. 147, nine data, hole in one. One's easiest. Cause my mate who's shit at golf has won maybe almost two. He's gone from hardest difficulty to low it. Anyone can get a hole in one.

Two on me at the time and we're all shit. I will never in my life get a 147 let alone a nine data. The better argument is who's it harder for a professional? I think that is different. Yeah, they did that, didn't they? Do you remember Sean Murphy? A professional. I think more professionals get 147s than...

Hole-in-ones. ... than hole-in-ones. Yeah. And more nine-dottas. Surely nine-dottas... Yeah, that is a better question. It makes it... How many of the...

I would then move hole-in-one up. Pardon? How many of the... Like, how many... There's loads of nine-dottas on the Pro Tour. Type in, type in like average... How many... No, no, no. Will There's loads of nine darters on the Pro Tour. Type in, type in, like, average, no, no, no, no, no. Will, type in average 147s at the World Championships,

and then we'll do average... I think we all agree nine darters is easiest. But it's not good that this... It's more, even Fluker, Holy Moly. But for professionals, for professionals. There's more sets of darts than... Wait, wait, wait, is that just this year? Oh, no.

Only ten players. That's ever. Yeah, I think that's the hardest. Nine darts is the easiest. How is nine darts the easiest? Because they have multiple in the same game. Yeah, it's true. No, but at the same, a hole in one is one shot.

Mate, nine darts happen far less. Hole in one is the easiest by far. They happen far less frequently than hole in ones. Really? For professionals. For professionals, these nine darts. On the pro tournament, it's not televised. There's quite a lot.

Yeah. Since 1996, there's been 553 nine dollars. Oh mate, there's been thousands of hole in one. A lot more golfers playing though. There's a lot more players. There's a lot more golf players. We're more golf players. You're a pro.

You're a pro. But per player. Ask AI. Ask AI what they think the answer is. No, we're gonna kill the planet. And ask it if it knows if it exists. Let's not do that. But I definitely think 147 is the hardest.

147 is definitely the hardest for life. I'll tell you why I think that. Because you have more shots, there's more chances of messing up. The further you get along, the pressure gets higher and higher and higher. Also, it's never the same shot. No, exactly. The dart is always the same shot. The hole in one is always the same.

Whereas golf is easiest because you can just loop it. You can loop the hole in one. You can loop it. There's no pressure. One in 3,500 legs for... No, it's not. Oh, for an amateur, yeah. For a pro.

But for a professional, the only standardized one is a nine-dart. See, yeah. So it's one-four-seven, then darts, then golf, yeah. Yeah. It doesn't know what's on about this We we we actually worked out ourselves. Yeah, of course, of course with geniuses. So who needs a I right? Do you want another one? That was a little easy. Oh, here we go. Okay. The easiest they reckon nine dollars still amazing but the most repeatable among the reason why I say that is because the

Settings and the scenario is the only standardized one. Yes say that is because the settings and the scenarios, the only standardized one, yeah, the board never changes. The only thing that's the same. It's the same as for average players. Whereas all the balls in a snooker game change and all the holes in golf change. Yeah, I'm not having that. If they were going to play in the golf hole all over again and the weather conditions were the same, it might be different.

I guess average player, you've done a bit of something. There's a logic. No, but even average player can fluke a hole. All of us could fluke a hole. Harry got a hole in one a few weeks ago. Will was about to say thank you. Another This or That that's sport related. This is mainly for Theo, but we're going to do it in this show.

Isn't that a Simon song? What? This or That? Didn't they do a song? A Christmas one. A This or That? Was it a Christmas song? A sub-20 minute 5k or finishing an ultra marathon that's over 100 kilometres?

Which is harder. Which is harder. What's this? Sub-20 minute 5k or finishing an ultra over 100k is harder. What's this? Sub 20 minute 5k or finishing an ultra over 100k? Honestly I think a sub 20 minute 5k. No way. Just run. You guys could finish an ultra today. What's better than a well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an instacart shopper and delivered to your door.

A well marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. No, I couldn't. You walk it I could not oh yeah, but you're gonna give it within the time limit Yeah, I think a time cut off any running any running. I don't really know what's wrong easy. We've already established this Now I'm running 20 minute 5k. Well, I've got not no ACL, but I could probably do it but you could go right

Anything well in this I could probably stop doing it. Oh, so it's not easy then. But you could go right. You could cycle. It's easy. What's an ultimate? Anything, well, in this scenario, anything over 100 kilometers. Yeah, that's harder than the sub 25. The sub 25K is not hard. So easy. He's quite hard. He has actually done that.

I know he's done it, but he hasn't done the 100K. Exactly. I couldn't do 100K. Also, why would you want to get a life, get an hobby? It's a bit of a long thing. Yeah, Reeve. What do you think, Reeve? I think the sub 20s are harder, personally.

I think there's more training required for that than the 100. Just move your legs. Not in terms of hours. Oh, why? It's more mentally taxing the 100 than the physical taxing. They have like- Like, you don't have the leg power to do the sub 20s.

Most people would finish it. A good example, Will Ene went out and did 80K and 60K back to back. Yeah. Okay, so he did that, barely any training, but he's still training for the sub 20 minute 5k. I agree. I think the sub 20 is harder. Maybe I'm just genetically blessed. Because a lot of people just get through it with grit and determination.

Damn, you've just pissed off the ultras. That's not really... I mean, to be honest, I don't really know. That wasn't really a question I wanted to ask, but... You've actually just... You've just basically said that anyone who's an ultra runner is a person. All right. Here's a really cool one. I just think anyone is an ultra runner as a person. All right. That's what you said. Here's a really cool one. I just think anyone who drinks as much as me, if they can beat that by nearly two minutes, then it's definitely doable for the average person. Were you a big drinker back then as well?

I've always been a big drinker. I'm a fucking lot of that. Another question for the boys. Walk home bollock naked after a night out or accidentally send a nude into a family slash important group chat I'm walking home Well, you should be in a position To like a friend group chat no no no accidentally So what about me? It's actually that he said a nude and then what to your family group?

No, no, it's our friend group shot and then sent like loads of messages after school and don't open that, don't open that, don't open that. Why don't you just delete it? It must be that time of year part. I always send pictures of my knob and arsehole. I have water on my bullet knickers. Do you remember when a few years ago I sent a message in the boys group chat like saying like no, no, good night, I love you kiss kisses like years ago kiss kiss kiss. I sent it in the boys group chat by accident

That's better than a nude though Your nude is actually lasted in the group chat for a long period He's lying for a long period of time. I don't know what the hell you want that. One of my favorite, one of my favorite. Let's have a look. I'm not bringing it up, man. He's lying anyway. Yeah, allegedly. Honestly, I'd probably, honestly neither would really bother me that much, but I'd rather the walk home.

Yeah, it's shorter. Turns out, how long the walk is? Middlesbrit to Newcastle. Ah, so not that far. Ah, it's a fucking aisle. I would've called that as well. Let's hit summer. No, it's, no, there's been a meteor hit, so it that far. That's a fucking mile there. Hold that as well. I didn't sound that. No, there's been a meteor hit,

so it's three million degrees. He's dead. It was like that. Yeah. That was him walking off. Insert picture of Lewis. Just managed to see the emergency services on the way and borrow a hat.

Fucking hell, imagine you're dying. Oh my God, my kids, my kids. And he comes to hell. Does that mean you're alert? It's AI. Oh, you idiot, we told them. And now they're gonna destroy the computer. Shit, Lewis, I've got a call from AI.

Your mom and dad have died. Isn't it a bit, oh, I turned the aircon off, it's like Baltic in here by the way. Right, one final one for the group. Do you wanna speak to them? No, that's all right, one final one for the group. Do you wanna speak to them? No, that's all right. One final one for the group. Let's set the scene.

You're on a night out. When's he actually dead? Spit it out, mate. You're on a night out. Ooh, lads. And you black out. But the next morning, you either wake up, handcuffed to your ex or your mate's dad.

Mate's dad, for sure. What? Your mate's dad's Mate's dad for sure. What? Your mate's dad's quite a funny story. Yeah, it's funny. Yeah, but you motherfucker him. No, you don't. I don't know. Even still, that's quite funny.

No, you just black out drunk, you don't know what happened. Would you be mad if someone fucked your dad? Would you be mad if your mate fucked your dad? Not really. It depends which mate. Because like, if they fucked your mate, you'd be... But if they fucked your dad... I think I told you that I once walked in in a party...

Like if he shagged my dad... You're shagging your dad? No, my... I just like fucking Joe bending wank off my mate. Like his hand was right there. Oh, like a stifler. Does he not? Because...

Yeah, yeah, it's well known. Is this from American Pie? Have you been watching videos again? Was the hand like pulling towards the penis? Oh, they were already getting... What did your mate say? I sort of ran out. That's a lie, he wanked in the corner.

No, you know, whose mom it was. Yeah. What did he say? About it all? I don't care. That's a weird, weird reaction, isn't it? So on that, so on that, so like if Theo shagged your dad, would you care? Yes. Would you care less if I shagged your dad than you would? I feel like you'd find it funny. Yeah, no, I agree with that, but he's saying would I care totally.

Would you find it funny? But why would you care less if I shagged your dad than your mum? Really good question. Because I just think like if you shag my dad, there's like... A bit of banter to it. Yeah, the mum would be used as like... You can't brag about shagging my dad. You literally can never ever banter anyone ever again

if someone fucks your mom. But you do kiss his mom. Yeah, like, he's got a good point, actually. So much shags your dad, it's like, you shagged my dad. Who's the banter on there? Why did they be banter? Well, you just said it.

Because it's funny. It's funny, it's a funny story. It's funny, that's funny. Oh, you're trying to do the whole like, oh, you're homophobic, yeah, yeah, yeah. Homophobic, can I pan? You did kiss his girlfriend and his mum. Yeah, I did snog your mum.

Snog's a strong word. Is it? I think it was a peck. She did also grope me. Let's just say in the substitution, instead of Charlie, it was your dad. If you'd kiss me dad? Yeah, you'd be more comfortable

with it being your dad rather than imagine. Would you rather, would you rather me fuck Charlie or have a threesome with your mom and your dad? Right. We're not just doing that. Otherwise you're all your family. I'd suit for you. Let's bring the question up that you said last week of a- No, let him answer. I'm not answering that question. No, we'll do the testing the loyalty question again. But instead of like, we have to shag you, it's your parents.

Yeah. Would you let me fuck your mom and dad if it meant it saved my mom and dad's life? You gotta say yes, isn't it? That's a really good question because now you're an unloyal person. His parents are gonna die. Would you save my mom and dad's life by letting me have a threesome with your mum and dad?

Would you? Would you? You've got to answer it. You've got to... Fuck off. No. No, I'm not going to die. You'd let my mum and dad die?

You're a horrible friend, mate. You're a horrible friend. I'm terrible. Imagine how fucked that scenario would be in real life. You've just saved two lives. It's like a sore die never. He's saved two lives with his own car. You're technically a murderer. You can't just drive me and mum and dad like... Murderer. You're a murderer. Murderer. that scenario would be in real life. He'd just stay two lives. He'd stay two lives with his own car.

You're technically a murderer. I didn't do it. They'd love it. Your mum loves it. Honestly, I'm a really good lover. Well, your parents would love it because they get to stay alive. What would you do then? Don't put the finger in my mouth. I said no, what would you do then?

Well, I'd let him shag your mum and dad. What about your mum and dad? For his mum do then? Well, I'd let him shag your mom and dad, yeah. No, no, what about your mom and dad? Yeah, go on. For his mom and dad? Yeah, why not? Yeah. You're being weird. It's not even a weird trademark, is it?

No, that is a bit, go on, seriously, would you? Look, you basically said, no, I wouldn't save life. Are you shagging your mom and dad? I don't think he's that deep anyway. I've seen his size in his intestines. Yeah, that is so weird how your bum has that much ass. You don't have to walk through. I know, that was never in question.

Are you asking if you want to sit in the corner? Cause that's not, that's not on the date. You don't have to join in. You do know that. You can shug my dad. He's not a trade off. That's to me the most mental quote ever on here. I forgot to laugh. That's to me the most mental quote ever on here.

You can shag me dad. I'm letting you shag my dad. Please click that. You can shag me dad. Mum's too far over the line though, eh? Why? I just can't do that, mate. I know everyone agrees.

Yeah, all the people here All the people with me. Got it. I'm going to second. So if you're only, you're only allowed to check his dad. That means one of your parents has to die. No, it means they lose both the legs. What?

Yeah. They'd become paralyzed. Both of them. If you only let me fuck your dad, but me, you have to watch. I think that no, you either, you either watch me, You have to watch. I think that- No. Oh no. Cucky nickel dad. You either, you either watch me fuck your dad and by doing that both my parents stay alive but they're paralysed from the neck down or you let me fuck your mom and dad.

No one else finds about it. You don't have to watch and both my parents just stay alive. I also have a third option. Let him answer. I've got a third option. I've got a third option. I've got a third option. Your mom doesn't have to get involved,

but you have to fluff your dad before. Stop doing this. Stop, stop, stop. Option, option, option four. You let me fuck you. Deal. On the broadcast of Match of the Day. Yeah.

Whilst, yeah. Always on Match of the Day. You're fucking your mum. No. Like a human centipede of sex. Shall we put that on the, shall we put that on, if you weren't the human centipede a sec. Shall we put that on the, shall we put that on, if you weren't the human centipede,

what position would you want to be? Obviously at the front. You fucking idiot. You weird, weird freak. Why would you ask that? Not even a question by the way. No, I was thinking maybe at the back because you're still far.

In front of you is your like teenage crush. What? You're a fucking weird, what your mom. They're still eating their shit. That would imply that you're in either one. No, no, no. No still eating their shit! That would imply that you're in either one of two positions. You're either in the second position, where you've got someone attached to your arse anyway, or you're in the third position, where someone's shattered to their mouth, and then you've

got to eat their poo again. So if you're on the front, who do you choose to be behind you? Would Cheryl Cole be number one for you? Because obviously she's Geordie. Oh yeah, she's Geordie. Really? Yeah, or you? Well, Cheryl Cole, like number one for you, because obviously she's Geordie. Really? Cheryl Cole. Yeah, or me.

Cheryl. When she did it. Fight, fight, fight, fight. Back to this love. In the outfit. We have to organise ourselves now into our human centipede order. You're at the back.

Which I don't want to. You're at the back. I reckon he's like third. I'll be at the front. You don't want me eating? No, you wouldn't. I don't think any of you's want me eating your arse though. I don't think you understand how Kim and Centipede

were like, hey. I just don't want to eat Tom's ass. Lou reckons, as soon as they're sewn in, he's just going. All I'm gonna say is it? Is that not it? I don't know. I thought of that and I'm like licking your ass out. I don't think there's any rimming going, mate.

I thought I'm rimming you. Also, don't assume what I would or wouldn't want. Do you want me to rim you? Tom has to go at the back. I'm not, it's open too far. Tom would be in the middle. It's not, he'd both end up. Logically, logically, I have to tell you,

we have to put Theo at the back. We can't have him eating. There'll be so much shit. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. There'll be so much shit. Oh my God, he actually, he would munch away on that. What, so I only get the shit and I don't get to feel something? You'd still be going for it.

You could eat that. Ah, it's lovely. And he's sitting on South Park and he's like, they're gonna do that and he's like, which one do you want me to eat? The salad or the cuttlefish? And they're like, cuttlefish, not the cuttlefish. No, he's like, you want me to eat the cuttlefish?

Is that a Japanese accent? Yeah, he's Japanese. Well technically he's doing an impression of South Park though. It is so, get that up, get South Park cuttlefish. It's fucking hilarious. And they go, no, no, salad, salad. I'd argue you want-

Did you say cuttlefish? Oh asparagus. So sorry, Kari, but I am starving. Which would you rather I eat? Should I eat a cuttlefish and asparagus? Or the vanilla paste? Vanilla paste, I said. Cuttlefish and asparagus.

Very well I will eat the cuttlefish. That's kind of, I've got a boner. I feel like, I feel like Theo has to go last cause he'll enjoy the food anyways. He's closest with you. So you should go in front of him. No. I'm not going third, mate.

That is the worst position. I am the third, you're third. I'm the least appetite. You're third. I'm the least appetite. All you're doing is eating shit. Yeah, I'm bullying you into third, mate. I'm not going there.

No, I'm eating his ass as well. Reeve, we can't put him first. We can't put him first. We can't put him first. He won't care. So if the person with elimination- He won't care, he'll eat nonstop. Yes, so the person with elimination should be me first. Can I eat Reeve's bum?

Yeah. I reckon I eat the least. Okay, all right. Who would you prefer to be behind the most? I eat the least here, I think. Don't try and turn this into some- I prefer me, I bet you I do. I think I eat the least.

No, but you would have the least. You would be like, ah, they're just going to hold that. And you'd have the full Sunday roast. I'm not that mean. He's probably the lightest, right? I eat the least. You're there for a while, probably. He's probably lighter than you.

So we go Tom, Reeve, me, Theo. Why is he first? I want to eat your ass. It'll be Tom, it'll be me, Reeve, Lewis, Theo. Your bum's the least hairy. That is true, actually. But they do surgically attach you beyond the head. I know, but it was so tickly.

What happens though, that's the agreed thing, but then he throws a curveball, we're already sewed up. Curveball is we have to bend around, then you have to eat my arse. Yeah, but then we die. Then we just die. There's no like food from the start. No one can eat. It would be a good pod story doing it. We wouldn't be able to talk apart from one of the front. Everyone else go. Did you see that? I saw this thing on TikTok the other day.

It's like the most evil way. The most evil torture of all time. Yeah, the angel thing. Now in the in the log. So they hollow out like a tree log. They put you in, they tie you around with like load. They put loads of honey and this one and other things. And what they do, they keep feeding you to keep you alive. So you can't die from like starvation or natural causes, whatever. And basically just loads of insects and that just basically

bite you and you just and it's just a slow prolonged death. Like by a million cuffs. Coming top like how fucked was it? Like we're so lucky we weren't born then like I mean the torture shit they had going on. Yeah. So being worse form of torture, honey and... You weren't really lucky you weren't born then

because you'd like lasted about five years old. Nah I think I'd be the jester. Is it scaphism? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scaphism. Or is it that, the, when you rip out the... Cyrus the Younger. Yeah, too small.

But type it in on TikTok, it shows you it. Go on TikTok. Some of the old torture shit was so big and like... Type in TikTok and type that in, type in scaphism. The angel of death is it? What do you call the one where they do your, the wings? They take your rib cage out. Oh, I know what you're on about there.

Is it, I feel like civilization became like civilized once like religion became about and like also that one, the third morning, the third, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Is it? Put you, and then loads of punny. Some of the worst forms of torture are religious based mate. Yeah. Are they? Oh, in your face, so you can't even, ugh. And you just like basically just bit and you just get infected to death. That is fucking disgusting. Nonstop.

It's, and they burrow in you and it's fucking horrible. Oh, Brim. Why would they do that man? Well because it's torture mate. Why? Why? Well, to be fair fair if he was like a penal. Here's a question, here's a question would you sooner have that or you have to permanently

wear a long sleeve Newcastle kit for the rest of your life. I feel a bit ill after that. I thought that was kind of horny. Well Fiora is enjoying it when the honey arrived but then all the insects turn up when he's like. Right um do you want a gas gob? Can I tell you this fact first? I've got it for ages. It's about a tiger. Ooh, the tiger king. Mate, it's fucking beast name. Did you hear about him? Or Tiger Woods?

He's got married again. Yeah, he's got a lover in there, honey. He's mental. He's actually a shagger. Yeah. Right. This fact, it's called the tiger surgeon. Okay.

It's the only- Is this like when the tiger went for a pint? You've never seen that book? I've never seen that. Okay. It's the only start when the tiger went for a point. You never see that book? I've never seen that. No. Oh yeah. Sing me in actually. Lewis's stuff. You know what, mate? Yeah, just show him what he's about to expect. He shouts at you for the exam. What are you doing? Waiting for you to talk. Very rude. Very rude. You watch the races. Don't gaslight. You were just doing the same thing. I was just chilling for like a 10 second mental break before I came back in. Oh my. I'll be playing it. Right, the Tiger Surgeon. It's the early 2000s, right?

And we're in Las Vegas. Oh, it's going to annoy me, isn't it? Viva Las Vegas! What's with the accent? Well, what accent could I be doing there? An American one, maybe. That's all right, though. You said Louis Spence.

That's fine. And it was Time for Daring Entertainment. Oh, for what? Daring Entertainment. So like in 2000s Las Vegas, it was Las Vegas was getting beach-mode. Okay. Daring entertainment. So like in 2000 Las Vegas, it was Las Vegas to get B's morning. Oh, Dares in... Doing dares, not like Dares in milk. Daring?

Milk, yeah, that's what I was right. Milk entertainment. Yeah, those crisp stuff. I thought they were like milk in your mum's big juggy. So you might have heard these. Stop that. Magicians, Siegfried, Roy and Mantis. Siegfried.

Siegfried. Siegfried and Roy. Siegfried. Okay, Siegfried Sigmund Freud and Roy. Side Fried. Okay, Side Fried. This has been on, they're killed, I know what you're about to say. This is like a well-known story, innit? I don't think you know. Well, we'll see. Is this Sigmund Freud? Hold it and then we'll see. Sigmund Freud and Roy. So, magician Sigmund Freud. Yeah, they're well-known. They were well-known. Sigmund Freud. They were well known Siegfried, Roy and Manticore. Siegmund Freud. They were performing in Las Vegas, right? Just three magicians, like a good show on that. Only two of them in there. No, there's three at this point. Yeah. Oh, I know. The third, the

tiger. So there was a unusual team, right? Did he eat him? Right. There was three magicians were wowing like a sold out crowd. Now issue is Matt Nicole as we just said is a Tiger, but he is like a fully fledged magician He put part of the show There's two humans one tiger Yeah, yeah, but there are magicians in the room right? What the fuck are you on about? There are magicians

So I just asked you is it three people? I was fucking Michigan And you went yes I didn't say that A tiger's not a person A tiger's not a magician it's just an abused animal No I'm not getting into this hierarchy. Why are you taking it to Louis?

Unless it's in a wood. You're taking some high ground. Hierarchy? You know, he had like his little fake tux on. He had a little bow on, did he? Yeah. It's in captivity, mate. I know.

I'm not saying I know. I'm just telling you a story. And you're advocating it. Don't blame it on me for Manticore. By the way, what a cool name. Manticore. Anyways, one eve, right? Roy holds a mic up to Manticore's mouth and he says, like, go and say hello, Manticore.

What did I say? Manticore doesn't say hello. Oh, shock. Yeah, I didn't see that coming. It's that he bites his sleeve right and drags him to the floor. And they've done so many shows. It's never had a problem. An apex predator.

They obviously forgot to drag him that day. They obviously spoke English. We said, yeah. Oh, hi. So Roy and the crowds are panic, panic, and I'm not Nicole gets on top. I mean, he he doesn't make a noise, but he sort of like softly goes like like a calm, like a calming cat, like I imagine like a big cat almost. Yeah. Right. Anyways, he's sort of like everyone fell

silent looking like what's gonna happen next and he sort of takes a moment to size him up and he like bites into his neck right and then gets off and drags him off stage. That is crazy working with an apex predator. Are you saying a tiger in captivity has been drugged every day of his life? That's fucking great are you sure you researched this? Yeah. Thing is like so he punctured several arteries. It's in my Christmas present book! He punctured several arteries and cut off the blood flow, right? He started juggling.

With his neck. No, his testicles. But he punctured several arteries and cut off blood flow, right, to the right side of Roy's brain. This is a bit messed up. That was the side that could speak tiger on it. So he cut off the blood supply to his brain, one side of his brain. But he didn't bleed out and die. So he drags him off, Manticore drags him off stage. And essentially the rush Roy to hospital, Manticore leaves him from that point, drags him off stage and leaves him. They go to the

hospital and somehow Roy survives. He's white at that point isn't he? Because he probably can't pronounce things. Now people around the world were shocked right? It's like why is Manticore, you know there are three magicians go world-round famous. Why would this really poorly treated beast do a thing? I think Manticore was living a high life, like he was a famous magician. He's in captivity mate, he's not living the high life. He could be in the top planes of Africa. He was like...

Theo, he was rich. Theo, he was rich. He lived in a cage and had a fucking lead. A train attached to it. I think he ate like steak. No, they're more Asian. I think he ate like nice food. No, no, honestly, I reckon...

Don't blame me, I didn't call him captain. I reckon that was world news. Why did the tiger lash out? It was actually a mystery. We just kind of black it out. We just went out. Now why? Little did Roy know he was suffering from hypertension. That's it. Yeah, no, yeah. It's not the small little cage that kept him in. He's got high blood pressure. And the forced captivity. It's definitely like that. So Roy was suffering from high hypertension. I tell you why he's got hypertension, it's because he's working with an apex predator every day, mate.

That's why he's got high blood pressure. And also the tiger didn't go for his neck to release the hypertension, mate. He goes for the neck, because that's where you... That's the kill zone, mate. The question is, where was the hypertension, Lewis? In his neck. Right side of his brain. Oh, right. You know brain. Oh, yeah.

You know, I have to apply to all blood vessels, though. It's not just like a part of the body. It was in his brain. So essentially, sorry. Can you show up? Amazingly, Manticore sensed this like a dog. Ha ha. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Of course he did. By the way, this is not like dogs sense like. Why didn't he attack his head instead of his neck? Because that would kill him. He went for the neck and he cut off the two blood vessels, which cut off the blood flow. Sure he did. And explains why beforehand he went over him and he went,

Lewis, you know you just said, because if he went for the head it would kill him. If he goes for the neck, he's probably gonna know what he's doing. I'm gonna take the L on this because hypertension can actually be localized. So maybe he's correct. He put it off in the next to the blood flow. When didn't you know exactly how much of his teeth are put into his neck. He did. He's a magician. Since this dragged him down and with an amazing precise by performed surgery performed surgery performed surgery on Roy. Put enough blood flow to his right side of his brain, saving his life. Now, how amazing is that?

Like he would have, Roy would have died weeks later, but Roy saved his life. You know, he cut off the blood supply to the right side of his brain for how long for? Cause wouldn't that cause long lasting damage? Well, they went to hospital and they cleaned him up, then they would have found the hypertension cause of it

and they could help that. So like he overall, Roy lived because of it. So Roy was like, why did my friend kill me? He actually saved his life. He performed surgery. It was too late because they'd already killed the tiger, but yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He went into retirement. Mannequin. Did it sure. Retirement being a shotgun to the head. Now there was actually counter-argument to why he did that. Someone said a lady in the audience wore a hat. Oh, I'm going to bow. Someone said there's a lady in the audience who wore a hat sprayed with animal urine trying to agitate him to kill

Roy as part of a hit job and then this was investigated by the counter-terrorism unit of Las Vegas as three magicians were called in for questioning. Were they called the Tiger Inn as well? Oh yeah. Don't fuck off Lewis. No more questions. Wait also you know that this lady in the audience wearing the urine hat. You know the tiger? Yeah, no further questions. The lady in the audience wearing the urine hat. This interview was great.

Wouldn't you like chuck it near him? No, no, she wore it in the front row. It was a big furry thing with animal urine. It wound him up. You know when the tiger got pulled in for questioning, was he a bit frosty? So the- Ha ha ha ha ha!

The mystery is, the mystery is- No one's listening to him. The mystery is- The mystery is how you fucking dress yourself, Dailie, because you're an idiot. The mystery is, is Manticore a magician, surgeon or hitman? None of it at all. None of it at all. Of all of that, he's one.

He's an apex predator who's in captivity against his will. He saved his life. That's a true story as well. What's he called? Manticore? Type in Manticore, you'll see a picture of him. Manticore. You're fucking crazy. With a monocle at the top.

So you mean to tell me it's just coincidence that he hit the exact same right place, exact point, left him alone. Yeah, I think it is, yeah. There he is. Fucking hell, mate. Are you peeing on Family Guy? Oh yeah, no, yeah, it made a natural appearance as a car peeing on Family Guy as well. There's a Simpsons one of him as well, where he just attacks him. He's beautiful. He is actually.

Very rare. Yeah, I think. Why is Smithers pulling his arse off? Family Guy, not the Simpsons. What have you done? No, he was on the Simpsons, but it won't be Manticore, it would be the names of the Magicians. Yeah, so that's Manticore who saved Roy's life. You don't like typing the attack? There they are. Or surgery, sorry. And it all just plays into how much smarter animals are than what we think they are really. Okay. Well you already know dogs can smell like cancer in fits in you. Oh Daily Mail. Okay, fair enough.

This is the thing, animals can sense illnesses and things like that. I agree. I agree. I don't deny that. And do you know what? They can do amazing things. Like absolutely yes. I don't believe that tiger purposely attacked that man to save his life

I reckon on balance him mauling his mates neck is not a surgical He bit it once and dragged him off and left him so you know this you know this surgery he performs Here we go. It's gonna be this gonna be some bullshit because I've actually read this Okay, during a performance at the Marash casinoino in 2003, Manticore attacked Roy, leaving him partially paralysed. The incident occurred on stage when he bit into his neck and dragged him off stage causing him several injuries, including he got a stroke, a severed spine, permanent impairments, despite claims by the jury that Manticore was trying to help Horn after the stroke horn off. I said I'm not to keep him alive Yeah, yeah, right. So you know Roy himself said it

Past all that stuff and go back to the other attack resulted in the show's closure. Yeah, brother Permanent injuries discontinued the show. Yes, he did suffer did suffer, but he saved his life. He would have been dead. He tried to kill him. He tried to kill him. You realize he didn't have as much against me as you thought there. Malled by his tiger. Lose, eaten by a tiger. Their show was cancelled forever and he tried to save the tiger's life.

That's all that happened. He tried to save the tiger by claiming he was helping him. Oh, were you there? Because he's his pet and he loves him. And once again, you've read something and gone, well, clearly that's true. You have the brain capacity of a flea. I think his face got absolutely fucked up. Yeah, bro, it's like a famous attack this.

It wasn't a surgery. The fact you said the tiger was a magician. He is a, what you, he's a magician. Mate, his face got like, his face got like, Yeah, he got mauled by a tiger. He didn't get mauled, he got bit once. His face got absolutely mauled to fuck. Bullshit.

You, there's something wrong with you. No there isn't. Good, good response, yeah. So you don't feel it. You haven't told me, is he a magician? Is he a fucking magician? He's a fucking magician. He's a fucking stressed out beast apex predator.

He's a beast. Who's distressed and hates his life. Yeah beast mode. So lashed out and tried to kill the person who kept him in captivity. That's the answer. I'm going to watch this 15 minute video document. You fucking idiot. Do you want to cast gobbles? Yeah, go on.

Gobble Matt. Just to answer, that's not a fact. What happened? That did take me back to the old days where you'd try and say Bigfoot was real, so I did quite enjoy that. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr This is going to be a shit one, it's like, oh they're all fake. No, this one is legit. There is only one. On the opposite way. There's only one fake one. It was funny though, last week's episode, Lewis said they are definitely, definitely all true. Thought they were all true and actually they're all fake. Yeah, but I sensed something was going on, clearly.

Headline number one, woman steals sink from restaurant restroom. How? Well... Good headline. Rat operates pizza delivery in New York. Operate? from restaurant restroom. How? Well, okay. Good headline. Rat operates pizza delivery in New York. Operates? Remy. Man forced to marry a goat

after being caught in compromising. That wasn't meant to come out. I reckon that's true. Cause it will get him out of like shagging the goat. He's like, well, I'm married to it. And it'll be like a legal loophole. Yeah, absolutely. Shagging Jason Kumis. The three, well, I'm married to it. And it'll be like a legal loophole. Yeah. Absolutely. Shagging Jason Kumis.

Out of the three, even though that is crazy, that could be like... That's most likely he'd make up as well. Shagging a goat. So which one do you want to hear about first? We're going to hear about first. I suppose people have got made up of all sorts of stuff, like inanimate objects and cars and shit. Is the rat not a goat?

Is the rat animated? Was it a real rat? In a peculiar incident on the streets of New York City New York City could be what is a rat was captured on video Commandeering is that the right word? Commandeering a pizza delivery robot The rodent managed to climb aboard the autonomous device The rodent managed to climb aboard the autonomous device, inadvertently becoming the city's most famous delivery critter. He's not a critter though, is he?

The video quickly went viral, highlighting the unpredictable nature of urban wildlife and automated technology. So he's hopped onto the machine and he's going round and it's been done for him. When I was in Miami we saw one of those automated robot devices. And he just accidentally hopped on the top. He just hopped on the top. And people thought he's driving it. Yeah. Okay.

I reckon that's true. But it said critter, it sounds like ChatGBT. It's a good point. Yeah, that critter is a weird one. No, it's all ChatGBT. I do them all in ChatGBT. I just ask for one. Yeah, they summarize them.

I reckon that's true because that is something that could happen. Like a rat could jump on top of this robot thing, easily. There's a lot of rats. That's a good point. Have they been rolled out to, I know they're in- Wait, when I saw it in Miami, it was so weird. Take about 20 minutes across the road.

They've got to be named Milton King's, I don't know. It's really weird. They are strange. They are strange. Well, if they're in New York, then it could be true. But I don't get how it works. Someone controlling them, Is it AR? I don't know. I don't know. I genuinely don't know.

Which one do you want to hear about next? So you're sensing that one's true. I think that might be true. It seems realistic. Are you in the room? It does seem realistic. What do you sense on that one? We'll just get a sense to begin with, then you can discuss them all, can't you? I don't know how that robot would work.

Okay. He's not debating with it the way it looks real, then you can discuss them all, can't you? I don't know how that robot would work. Okay. He's not debating whether the robot's real or not. How does robot deliver pizza? Mate, they do exist. That isn't like a joke. Do you want to see it? We can't. Let's look at some robots. No, they have them in other cities. They're debating whether they have them in New York.

Yeah, yeah. They exist. We don't know if they're in New York. Yeah. Yeah That's five minutes, yeah, we were discussing that how they have them in Milton Keynes in LA Just sounds like some I would have heard of well he's seen one of them I've seen one in person in one in person so we can we can outline the day Oh, he always leaves us astray with his Lewis I've seen them myself in Milton Keynes. The robots aren't the question of if this is real. No, let me show you Ben's vlog, get her in it.

It would get nicked, wouldn't it? I don't know, I don't know. It's like, you could say that about a lot of people. And then what was the other one? The restroom toilet. She nicked a sink. For once, this is not in the US of A. Wow. In Altrincham, England,

the owner of a Brazilian restaurant was baffled when a sink worth £150 vanished from the women's restroom. Upon reviewing CCTV footage, staff saw a woman enter the restaurant and head straight to the bathroom. Moments later, she exited with a large item concealed in her bag. I bet that took a- A sink in her bag. No way. She'll have a heavy load of it.

No way. The owner remarked, I've had people steal lots of things over the years, but never something like this. That's giving it away. You can't put a sink in a bag. By the way, the owner's just like, watch this lady come in, not order anything,

walk out with a sink. She's like, huh, I've seen people steal lots of stuff, but never a sink. No, she didn't see a steal at you. No, she watched a CCTV. She realised it was gone. And then obviously when she was watching it, that's when it sunk in. That's it. Yeah.

Surely people just kick that. He was he was picturing like, I'm a robot delivery pizza. Yeah, remote control. With wheels and like this. Yeah, a rat could hop on top of that easily. Have you seen, have you seen like the robot in Rocky, like Rocky III? Yeah, I was picturing.

No, yeah, yes, yes. Yeah, I know, yeah. Is that real? Because it was in Rocky. I know how your brain works. It was trying to cross the road, it's like, I don't know where to go yet. Is it safe? How is that going to deliver?

It's so stupid. It's going for it. You get bigger ones, but... That is pretty... You don't have a kid who just kicks it over. Go for it. Go for it. You get bigger ones, but That is pretty Just kicks it over that quite considerably a rat could be on top of that and people would think they're driving it Yeah, and I mean he's fucking crossed that red light one in America. They could bash by yeah, I don't know and then finally the man caught

forced to marry to go in 2006 in the high Malakal suburb of Juba, South Sudan, a man named Charles Tombe was discovered engaging in sexual activity with a goat. Instead of pursuing legal action, the goat owner bought the matter before local elders. The elders decreed. The elders, the elders, they decided, the elders decreed that Tom should marry the goat as a form of restitution. Yeah.

He was ordered to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars, approximately $50. Quite a lot of money though. For that. Marry a goat. Yeah. That's more than the going rate. 50 quid, of course it is. Wow.

Where was this? South Sudan. And cover the cost of the goat. I think this is actually true. I think this? South Sudan. And cover the cost of the goat. I think this is actually true. I think it's true. I think it's true. I think I have seen an art blog of this. They're not dragon goats.

As well. The goat was named Rose during the proceedings, tragically died the following year after choking on a plastic bag or a dick. Plastic bag? So you fucking murdered it. This unusual incident garnered widespread media attention and remains one of the most peculiar legal resolutions on record. I think you can't put a sink in a bag.

You think it's more instinct someone shagged then married a goat as punishment from the law. Yeah, I do. Yeah. You can't put a sink in a bag. It's a fucking sink. How big's the bag? Well, that's the question.

Mate, it's a sink in a bag. Mate, if it's a bag for life, you can get a sink's the question. Mate, it's a sink in a bag. Mate, if it's a bag for life, you can get a sink in there. You can't get a sink in a bag. Oh, you're going to unscrew that bit? How big do you think sinks are? How is she taking the sink out of the bathroom? Ripped it off, mate. No way. Yeah, she bought her. Guys, let's use common sense here. That is definitely horrible. Hey, let's use common sense. Someone shagged a goat and married it. And a mouse is driving a robot. You've literally seen videos of a horse shagging a woman and a bloke shagging a whore.

I haven't mate. I think beastiality like that's pretty common mate. Be smart. What? Common where? Across the world. It's a true fact. I don't think it's common. More common than do it? Yeah, I think it's really common, so how common do you think it is? Okay. What are we going then? I think speak sink, I don't mind that. I think we've... I think that's bullshit, you don't steal a sink. And you don't put it in your bag. It saves you by more.

You've been rumbled, mate. You've been rumbled. You can definitely fit a sink in a bag. Don't try and fight it, you've been rumbled. Think of the plumbing work you'd have to do to get that sink out. No, you wouldn't. Oh, he's been rumbled. Bro, I've literally witnessed people...

I've literally stolen a sink. Oh, I've literally witness. She stole the sick I've witnessed people rip sinks off in like football fucking toilet. Whoa Like fucking people who think they're you look into those ideas You can rip off and break it but she's stolen to use it. It's impossible I do know what she's doing. Why else would she do? What you're using as a bird back even rumbled you've been rumbled. You've been rumbled, mate. Actually, no, he's happy, he's smiling. We should share.

No, it's the sink. The mouse wants to speak. Originally, I did think the sink. But I think he's happy. You said, mate, who goes around shugging a goat? And then he just started giggling. And no one actually caught it. No, I know it is funny, but it's almost like, ha ha.

They're up percent. You're notoriously wrong at this all the time. Say a mouse. Yeah. No all the time. Say a mouse. Yeah. No thanks, obviously. Say a mouse. But my initial instinct was sync. He won't say a mouse.

I don't know what that means. I feel like the ghost story I've seen somewhere. You didn't realise the one story about a rat. Yeah. Guys, I'm voting for the sync. I think rat. No. You just said sync a second ago.

He had, you know, there's a thing in psychology, right? Here we go. It's like the deceiver's smile. So like, when, when, no. So when you're lying to someone and you're getting away with it, the person will have a slight smile. Like when you're lying and like, you can't help.

It's like psychology. He had the deceiver's smile. Right. I'm happy to double down on that just to prove you're horrendously wrong, but. I don't know, you're gonna apologize when I write and it's the rat. Imagine he's right though. I am right, it's like when someone's deceiving you, you smile.

How about this, how about this, we'll go for the sink, but if you end up being right about the rat, we'll give you like a clap. I refuse the sink because I know I've got him. Okay, well it's a democracy. It's rat. I want to see this play out, so I will vote for him. I promise you, I'm going to be right. Let's be so cold.

Now he's overdoing it. Should we just go with him and see if he's wrong or right? And if he's overdoing it now, I've got him. It's right. I promise you it's right. But if it's the goat, then we've all been rumbled. You only benefit from this. Now he's smiling on purpose. You only benefit from this.

So we'll go with you. This is easy. You either look insanely cold or. I know I've got it. I've got a rumble. Ready? I watched down the ground. Ready? Yeah. We're going with rap for the base of blue. He's gonna lie and say it's not. The woman stealing a sink is true. She did. I don't know how big... Oh no. How you fit in a sink in a bag? I don't know how big you think sinks are. Sinks aren't that big. So we were wrong then. Especially in small bathrooms. It might be a small little restaurant. I don't know. See the smile. It can't be the goat man. We can't be rumbling by ourselves fucking the goat. Don't lie. Just be honest. You started giggling when he said it as well.

Don't lie. Just be honest. I really hope this is right. That would be great actually. The man forced to marry a goat is true. Look at him! The rat is the fake story. What a payoff. Yes! Can I just say that? You're a genius. He's obviously, he's got it right.

Well done. The reason I laughed, he went, same mouse. So I started laughing going, you didn't realise it's a rat? No, no. That's why I laughed. No, you were smiling at a different point. When we were talking about the sink, you were watching with a smile.

I was smiling. I smile a lot at what things you say because you say, he says things so confidently. If you think about it. Well played. Can we get a Dorser's job copy it for Tom? Well done, mate. Well done. I was happy to give you the...

I reckon a rat's probably scared of the robot. Or they're not in New York. or they're just not in New York. I'd say that's more likely. It's too busy. The robots don't exist really, I don't think. I just showed you a video. Well done, Lee. That was the first... The civil smile.

You actually did get him. Yeah, psychology. Fucking hell, Lee. By the way, this is the first one... Think of a number out of ten. This is the first one. Three, two, one, seven. Four.

That would be fucking amazing. Do you know why I didn't go seven? Because everyone goes seven. I like how first one. Three, two, one, seven. Four. That would be fucking amazing. Do you know why I didn't go seven because everyone goes seven. I like how he's done this, this, that about 10 times. Nine, he's gone. He's been rumbled. I've got it. Been wrong.

Gets it once and he sits back and he goes. Don't switch up copy at all. Psychology, psychology. It's not like Lou to do that. Let's be reasonable. You're actually on the right line, so if you tell someone to pick a number between one and 10, they always go seven.

If they don't go seven, they normally go four. I thought you got seven for Ronaldo. I'm annoyed he got that. Do people normally go seven or four? You reckon? It sounds like the most random number. I'm so annoyed he got that because you were all so convinced the rat one was real.

And he just tried to be different. We knew that things were real. It's just whether or not they were in New York. Anywho. Can you Google if they're in New York or not? How long have we been going? I think there we end the show, don't we? Yeah, that's a good tick box.

We can do journal next week. Oh! We're gonna have to do it. We're gonna have to do it. Go on then. It's time for Lucy's journal. Bring it out, mate. Also, you've ended on such a high,

so this should be fine. Just do the page you put your head in your hands in earlier about. There are delivery robots, but FedEx. In New York? Customers can... Oh, Uber Eats as well? I'd like to know what, about there are delivery robots but FedEx in New York customers can do it Oh Uber eats as well I'd like to know what I don't just get like fucked up surely kids should open if you senses to object no I don't I think they're mainly

at night are you reading it I don't read one no no no you can't no no no no definitely not no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I think we should take turns reading a page. Definitely not. Definitely not. Okay, come on then. Let's see your journal. Right, so give us a brief. It's not a laugh. I can't promise you anything. What has happened?

You've started talking like you're writing a movie. Yeah, so at this point in the journal. You took all your reading, let's be honest. At this point in the journal, I'm just trying to improve. Mam and Dad bought us a present. Because I'm such a fucking weirdo. I'm trying to improve my life. I'm like watching Joe Rogan motivational video

I'm staring into space. No, no, no, no Yeah, I'm looking at the reflection dramatic recreation at one part Just I can't go over the fact that you think you you just you're actually like when you're sat there I mean you've got like camera a and B like looking at I really thought I was him like yes But he's staring into a house for years long sleeves are cold Right, there's a bit in here that I'm really not looking forward to seeing. You're reading it, you're reading it. Just do one page, just go on with it. I know I am only doing one page. Right. You did not put, you did not write down right. Right comma. Fucking hell. What's wrong with that? That's mental. How is that mental? It

is a bit weird. Freaking nice for a difficult journal entry that is. Right, here we go. Another day gone. Jesus, roll on death. Another day closer. I woke up at seven. Tempted to sleep late, but got through it.

Wow, you're a soldier, mate. You are, you're an inspiration. And now look, you're waking up at 5.30. He's an soldier, mate. You are. You're an inspiration. And now look, you wake up at 5.30. He's an inspiration to the masses. I'm happy I'm committed to my morning routine. I feel like after every day I build on the day before and that is thanks to this journal. Very good. I practiced some after effects today like I wanted to.

I'm quite happy with how it worked out. I also sent emails to try and find some promo work, still think I should work more. I will do that tomorrow. Can I ask you a question? At this point, are you wanting to be like a YouTube editor or something? No, like I wanted to make like,

I wanted to do script writing work and like telly or be do read. I wanted to do everything, I don't know. I was just doing that. I was, I was, I never really initiated it. I wanted to do everything, I don't know. I was just doing that. I was in this. I never really should have narrated it down. I wanted to be a doctor or a postman. I was writing scripts and stuff

and I wanted to do video, I think. Go on, carry on. I also sent him a... A jiggle-o. Still think I should work more, I will do that tomorrow. Definitely got the work ethic there. Fucking hell you lazy bastard. Think I'm going to get up at 6am, call me crazy. Oh my god.

Faring in mind you're the only person. It's like I'm making jokes to myself. Call me crazy. I'm the only person... It's like I'm making jokes to myself. Yeah. Call me crazy. I'm the only person that gets to read this. No, because we've established he thought the years to come people were going to read it. No, he was hilarious as well. I feel like I am happier each day.

That's good. That's quite down with recent journals it looked like. Yeah. Please read it. Please read it. I want to find a girlfriend. How old are you in this? I'm like 20.

What's next? Oh my god Mate those pages are full Wait what's next? I didn't realise next I want to find a girlfriend This is your fucking Sadovac He's writing in his journal He wants a girlfriend

Go and get one At 21 years old Oh my god I guess what it is. He's writing in his journal. He wants a girlfriend, go and get one. At 21 years old. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

You fucking freak. It gets worse. Go on, please. Hopefully she has big boobies. Yeah, yeah. Hopefully she's blonde and she's really attractive. Oh, this, right, this next line she's blonde and she's really attractive. Oh, this, right.

This next line, let's just end the podcast cold. We don't have to go on with- You've got to read the whole page. Have you taken your glasses off? No, this is the last line. All right, we'll end on the last line. We'll end on the last line. Thanks for tuning in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like and subscribe. Give us some context. Read us in from the previous half of the line. I'll read us in, but thanks for listening. 50 Kissel. Please get your glasses off. So read from the start of the sentence.

I want to find a girlfriend. Time to get out there and not to be so scared of rejection. See you next week, boys. You made it to the end. Well done, you. If you haven't already hit that follow button, why not? Tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to catch more Backside,

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