Back Side - YouTuber Darts Night *GONE WRONG*! Paul Breach Sends Theo a Message & How Jesus Met The Beatles!

Episode Date: January 9, 2025

Reeve reveals how Theo almost died at Behzinga's stag-do, Paul Breach has a message for Theo and Lewis brings his worst yet funniest fact yet!If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram, where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. And Theo's going, I think I'm dying, like, I think I'm dying. Put the most deadpan, straight face. He's like, I'm not gonna make it, boys. I'm dying!

You owe 30 grand. I'm like, I don't have that. 30? I've won everything. What? He killed her! I didn't do it. It's recording.

Oh my god. I'm in the thick of this, everybody knows. Jesus is like... Let's do a podcast. Ah! 2025! Welcome back! Did you see that TikTok of the guy with his nan? I already don't believe you. No, no, no.

Well, let me get his nan and a carrot up his arse. No, I mean, now he's not going to be that funny. No, I believe you. He's talking to her and he's like, oh, you had a gato. She's obviously looking at the telly and talking. She's like, oh, I had this lovely gato earlier. And he's just next to her going like... No, I haven't seen that.

She doesn't realise. She's like, yeah, I had some cream. And he's like, yeah, you have some cream on it. I imagine that's how your Christmas family parties are. I love those videos. Do you never do that to your friends back home? Try and find that, Matt. Try and find the TikTok.

Just type in like. How are you going to find that? You never used to, do you not do that with your mates back home? I still do it to my man, yeah. When you're in school. I don't really do it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and my sis used to do it with me.

Yeah, exactly like that. How was your Christmas and New Year? Obviously, was it awkward between you and your sister after you told her you loved her? No. That's cute, man. Why did it be awkward? I don't know.

Did she say I love you too back? She said it on the phone, yeah. She said thanks. You were here when I rang her? I don't remember that. I don't think that made the point thank you

Lewis would you now like to apologise to us all no I'd like to say aka me by the way it's crazy that

you're asking there was only one person in this room who did not ruin our podcast who was it it was me Tom ruined the

first hour and if you think the first hour was bad it was actually chucking pringles everywhere. Yeah, it was all funny. It was all like

it was fine in the podcast. Oh, was it funny when the next day you came in and cleaned up his mess, was it? So you in the first hour and a half just allowed no podcast to happen. That's the only I can't tell you

on Christmas Eve, mate I am this thing was three and a half hours long the edit it was actually four and a half hours long when we recorded it

I had to proof listen to this five times because of you. And you, I... No, no, no. I'll get up to you. No, no, no. We're there. We're there. We're there.

We're there. We're there. We're moaning. You are moaning about having to spend three and a half hours watching a show. If you just listened to me, mate, it wouldn't have been three and a half hours long. That's why he ruined it. He became... Yeah, yeah.

He became a little nerd. He's in a mood. No, no, no. By Lewis We started at 4 o'clock Okay I said at 9pm Guys should we wrap up

This shoot now We've been there For 5 hours How crazy is this right I give him 2 months notice You're going to drink On this episode

And it's going to be A long one And then somehow When he turns up And has to drink And it's a long one He's complaining You became a down

Sorry You were really good You had to go Before we stepped through You said You guys aren't allowed To pipe before. Yeah, I told...

No, this is why. This is why. Because he wouldn't have been like that at the start. We had a couple of beverages. This is what I mean. I was actually correct. He...

If you didn't have a pint before, which, by the way, I messaged him saying, please don't, mate, for the podcast. This is why. And then he was like, yeah, mate,

you don't need to keep telling us as if I'm an idiot. And then he does it anyways. Dickhead. We had a few pints. You became like a little nerd at the end. I became far too drunk, which I would say dickhead we had a few points you became like a little nerd at the end I became far too drunk

which I would say is part of what it was supposed to be like oh so now you're claiming that you didn't ruin it but I know I still ruined it I still ruined it in my own way

I knew he'd somehow make his part somehow not really he spoiled it I did I did ruin it in some way him ruining the whole show

is somehow worse than me saying at 9pm should we go home now look at him you him ruining the whole show 5 hours later than me saying at 9pm should we go home now look at him you him ruining the whole show 5 hours later

you all sound a bit pathetic I had to cut out so much like Theo vibe killer moments in like the final hour it was like

there was laughter and Theo was just like no no by the way sorry Dendro there was one bit when I left the room and he was like

complaining to me because you said something that had to be cut and it would be he thought it would be a hard edit and I was there I was like Theo it's gonna be fine trust me and he was like I walked room and he was like complaining to me because you said something that had to be cut and it would be he thought it would be a hard edit

and I was there I was like Theo it's going to be fine trust me and he was like I walked out and he's like what I said was a valid point

though it was a valid point I did the edit no one's realised you have not realised where this edit is and you never will because it was fine two hours 34 minutes

you do need to understand there's people who listen to us why are people turning on me what's going on right now here we go again no I ruined it there's going to be people us why are people turning on me right what's going on right now oh there you go again no I ruined it there's going to be

people on the way to and from like really tough jobs listening to this and you're moaning about doing a 4 hour pod drinking with your mates

we haven't fucking banned them I don't need to bring them vibes down you vibe killer Jesus Christ the only reason we focus more on you

is because I told him even there that he ruined the first hour and a half but he just like I don't care he didn't bite that's the reason we focus more on you Is because I told him Even there That he ruined the first hour and a half But he just like I don't care He didn't bite That's the reason we stick more on you

Is because you bite I also don't care Because I know I did I did it on purpose To annoy you I think what you do care about I'm so glad His Christmas Eve was ruined

I don't know I think what you do care about The vacuum jumpers that Lewis stole Oh no Lewis didn't steal them I don't know who did They have been stolen. But you're a fucking idiot for allowing it to happen.

Hold that. I mean, I don't know if we can talk about... And now you're wearing the set. I love Tenerife. The fish fell down, if you're wondering, so he's now behind me. But we can't place him the right way up because the frame's still like that.

How has that changed? That is classic. How has that changed? It used to be on the wall so Lewis how was your Christmas and New Year because all I kept seeing on your stories was I'm

hanging out with my real mates everyone see me hanging out with my real mates I didn't even see you you always said this is a real night

out up in fucking Durham this is where we go out look at my real mates I only put a star with my mates and it was

like proof I have mates or something. On his close friends it was just him getting drunk all the time on Durham. Yeah. I must not be on that.

But you're not on it? I don't know. I haven't seen it. I don't think you look at my stories. I can't remember seeing that. I went to Budapest. I don't really look

at many people's stories. Like, you're boring to me. That's true. That's a lie. I fucked New York in Budapest. Whoa! Come on! Hey! Wow! stories like that you're boring to me that's true that's a lie i fucked um i fucked new year in budapest oh come on hey wow on midnight yeah really fucked it who did you fuck oh everyone and everything lewis actually we gave you a challenge but if you fail therefore you have to get your cock out that's true there wasn't a bath no so look they have these ruined pubs in budapest

which i had no idea about ruined bars ruined bars whatever I went to a ruined club on New Year's Eve ruined so and then you ruined New Year yeah nah

if you don't know what these are it's basically like a big warehouse with fuck tons of rooms yeah it was but it was a maze right

so we were in there indoor outdoor bar nah nah they are big no this one was huge mate it was like a big club it cost fucking like 40 euros

Entry was bullshit Early on as well What was it called? Dunno I think you've been swindled there mate New Year It was class So they had like

They had like a rock room They had like Every single genre room Wait are you talking about Zimplacur Where we told you to go with that No this is It's like that

But imagine it's like Four times as big Oh wowz Because it's like a big club And there's loads of Different club rooms and stuff Where? Wazzarini's

It's only like 10 minutes away from where I've never been to that place I'll find the name it's so good before you went

on pills and you just imagined this whole thing the rooms are really big it was genuinely just like me

and Charlie though at the start because everyone else it was like early on and we were just fucking dancing at that

what is your relationship like I'd love to see you two just do you just get really hammered and she just sits like she's just a big hammered she fucking does i'll have a pint right i get halfway down i look over and she's finished like a double vodka coke ordered another one yeah and like by the time i finish another one she's done like three doubles yeah but that half pint you're just as drunk as as her. Yeah. You don't have any social anxiety, do you? Yeah, he does.

No, he doesn't. He does it meeting people. No, it depends. In Budapest, mate, he was cool. Down here, I feel like I'm in a strange new world, though. Budapest is not. You're awkward when you meet people, I think. I'm all right when I'm back home.

Down here, I don't know, I'm different. Because back home, you feel more comfortable, aren't I'm not. I'm all right when I'm like back home. Down here, I don't know, I'm different. Because back home you feel more comfortable, aren't you? Yeah. I'm at my comfort zone. It's an easy icebreaker when they already know

where you are, nearly. But did you go to the, there's swimming pools and the baths? Nah. What did you do? You didn't do the,

what, you didn't do the spa party? The spa party? You just went to an Irish bar every day. Why didn't you do that at home? We just happened to keep another Irish pub. We went to Dublin.

We went to Poblan. Did you do the River Cruise? No. What? I sent you a list. This is an unlimited beer and pizza River Cruise. It's class. Charlie don't like pizza.

Did you get to that one like outdoor-y bit? It's like a food market. And I can't remember what it's called, but it's really Charlie don't like pizza did you get to that one like outdoor it's like a food market and I can't remember what it's called but it's really really good food did you see the

palace yeah you were next to it oh is that it yeah that's the castle we've seen a little bit of that

I'm not one for like with the big I like just score the floor did you go to the rooftop bar it was but like anyways

when I was in that club sorry when I was in that club it was like it was getting like it was like half eleven and we wanted to make it to the river or even go to the rooftop bar? It was a pretty cool city It was But like anyways When I was in that club Sorry When I was in that club It was like It was getting like It was like half eleven And we wanted to make it to the river Or even back to the hotel room

Because we had a good view of the river For all the fireworks It was like all over the city Yeah yeah yeah Got fucking lost Yeah doing that in 30 minutes Is pretty rough anyway Did you go and see all the fireworks?

Me I did see We had to sprint We had to sprint to the fucking Wherever we were And we were just in a random street Watching fireworks And missed all the fireworks Why didn't

use google maps no it wasn't that it was like google maps inside the club I was trapped in this club mate I was going around in circles oh wait as in I couldn't get out

you weren't lost getting to the river I was in the ruin bar I couldn't get out the ruin bar get out I was like get out

how drunk were you we were not drunk do you know when you're getting annoyed and stressed and the clock's ticking and we were there and I was like we came in here.

Why don't you ask them where the exit is? Huh? Could have asked someone who worked there. Yeah, yeah. A lot of them are English people as well. That is such a good idea. Any bartender, hey mate, where's the exit?

Yeah. I don't know, maybe at the time I just thought, nah, I've got this. But nah, I was getting stressed and annoyed and when I get stressed, I get angry and I was just fucking...

And it only takes one little push to get you stressed as well, mate. You ever... Yeah, imagine that. I was like, I'm and when I get stressed I get angry and I was just fucking and it only takes one little push to get you stressed as well mate you ever yeah imagine I was like I'm fucking flooring the lass out here to see fireworks

in Budapest on New Year's and I'm stuck inside a fucking club god I bet you were fun in New Year then and the clock struck 12 did you make sweet love

at midnight no we're in fucking streets now we managed to see a few fireworks in the end but so it was a lovely time but you did not

see Budapest paid for a river view fucking fog every day couldn't see the river we're not even joking european chemtrails mate mate we're supposed to have view of like parliament building it was gonna be unreal lit up can't see it yeah it's actually genuinely from that castle part is actually a really good view the other side yeah i guess it would have been yeah that is hilarious extra money they must have knew you go to the starbucks at the castle at the top of the hill? Starbies! Yeah, we got loads of Starbuckses, like, tons.

That Starbies at the top is nice, isn't it? Starbies with the girlies. Which one are you on about? In the castle. Oh, it's always, yeah, my hands are really rough. You've got scaly hands. And how was your Christmas and New Year, buddy? Yeah, good.

Back home. Did both parents back to back? What the? Even fucking Matt to back? What the? Even fucking mad stuff. What the? Yeah, I left it to be interpreted.

One inch forward, one inch back. What? Don't worry. Oh, you had to make it weird, didn't you? That's just strange.

Make it weird. Yeah, my parents for Christmas and then Meg's parents for Boxing Day. It was nice. Lovely. And then you went out

in Leicester, I hear. Didn't you yeah I had to make it to the Liverpool game what you were supposed

to go to the Liverpool game yeah we had our big Christmas boys night out no but it wasn't your big Christmas boys

night out though was it no it wasn't to watch it yeah just to watch it five in the afternoon yeah

Jesus didn't make it yeah no it's okay don't worry guys anyway why didn't you you just passed out no i mean uh my mate will we started drinking from like 10 a.m and it was just relentless because

everyone bailed to like well if it's only us two here we had that as well with our one like a few people just build on the day so yeah it's really annoying because it just became like all right well we've got nothing to drink to. Let's just drink to that. Yeah. Drink to that. He's always British. And then you did that again. Three parts on your own

doing the slot machines. What are you talking about? Ethan Stagg. Oh, right. Yeah. No, I was just waiting for everyone to get ready for the darts.

150 quid. You love a little slot machine. You've had a few pints on your own. Yeah. It's nothing big. You'll buy that. 150 quid as love a little slot machine you've had a few pints on your own yeah 150 quid as well nothing big yeah

but fucking hell what a night that was eh mate honestly we should discuss our new year so yeah I got kicked out

of all the bars in Durham I forgot to say have you heard this right it's fucking bullshit this wait hang on

you were going out in Durham we went out in Durham with everyone. Were you banned from all the bars in Durham? No, just for that night because there was one Jobsworth twat. Don't you know who I am? I'm Lewis Baldwin,

fucking pitch side man. Mate, in Durham, they're proper Jobsworths. They're just little fucking, like you'd get ID'd. It's like, he's got a fucking beard. No, but I'm young looking.

Are you? You're not. Wait, hang on a second. Are you about to tell us that you didn't have your ID on you? No, my mate he's like do i need my idea i was like just bring him in my mate looks fucking no offense but you look old like um nah but old enough to get in club and i was like yeah bring your id if didn't fucking bring it we got there and i was like you should have brought your id the fucking jobs with in durham and the

bouncer overheard me we didn't go in that club came back around three hours later he's such a Jobsworth that he remembered me and he's like nah you're not going you called me a Jobsworth I was like yeah good one

went to go into a different club seen him on the walkie talkie I looked over to that club looked back and I was like you're talking to him aren't you and I went down and he's like

yeah apparently apparently you called him I fucking am I fucking am talking to him man apparently you called him a I can't say it I can't say it I can't say it Beat that

And it's like Abusing bouncers I was like Yeah okay I just want to You did I called him a jobsworth And by the way

He proved me point Yeah he did He's a fucking jobsworth But you know why He didn't remember you Three hours later Because he called you a jobsworth It's because you're Lewis Bowden

Yeah That's why you know He knows you're a jobsworth You're going to stop this face I will ruin your life No but he knows when you go in you're gonna get bombarded

with photos and it's just gonna be carnage yeah it's gonna be crazy to be fair I did turn him down for a selfie now I think about it

no pups ah that's boring what is it like going out in Durham these days is it tough for you do you have to wear a hat no

how was your New Year's Reeve? A bit of a quiet one, wasn't it? Yeah, well, I thought we were passing it around We haven't said it I thought we were going to Tom there Oh yeah, I didn't do New Year's Tom went out and clapped them with all the Australians

And he clapped them in cheek Have you done a fucking prep doc for all of our I don't know Phil's on it right now, he's running this game for bed Sorry Yeah, it was alright, I don't really like New Year's It's not what we do Why? No, I don't like going all's on here I know he's running this camp pad sorry yeah it was alright I don't really like New Year

it's not what we do why? no I don't like going out for New Year sorry I take that back house parties we're there yeah I just it's too busy

it's too expensive yeah it pisses me off but to be fair we got lucky because there's a young lad I can't remember his name I should have

remembered his name a young lad who was working behind the bar who obviously was a pitch side fan so like any time I come to the bar who obviously was a pitch side fan. So like, any time I'll come to the bar, he'd like,

it actually got a bit embarrassing where there'd be like three rows in front of me and he's just serving me. He's like, what do you want? I'm like, uh, guineas.

Everyone's like looking at me, going, what the fuck, so you're getting served? I'm like, come on. TG. TG's here.

Let's not, you don't know who I am. No, but yeah, it was, it was all here. Let's not, you don't know who I am. No, but yeah, it was, it was all right. I had a better box. I had a better Christmas Eve boxing day

and then went to Chef United on the 29th. That was a really good day. And then me, fucking hell, we was out, me and Jackie Lou got the train at, off, it was half 12 kickoff to be fair.

Yeah. We had to start early. We had to, of course. Yeah. So I think we, we got, got, we left at like seven. My dad gave us a lift to the train station. Seven.

Seven. No. And then. No. Oh, that's it. Because no pubs were open. And one of the lads we went up with knows a lad from Sheffield who drinks in the casino before the game.

Oh, my God. Obviously. Oh, she's going to have a drink in the casino. And I'm like, this is going to end bad. Yeah, that is not a good start. This is going to end bad. Yeah, that is not a good start. This is going to end bad. Anyway, get in there.

What time is this, Tommy, you're in the casino? Half 10. That's all right. I thought you were going to say 9am. No, no,

no, it took us like, it takes like two hours to get there. Yeah, I won, I won 140 quid. Yeah, mum.

And then ended up 20 pound down. On roulette? Yeah, just on 20 pound down I'm really yeah just I'm really I just I just love it I love the spin I love but what do you do

do you go they're all playing blackjack no no numbers yeah yeah I just look and I look do you know

even if I'm like one off I'm like I love it so much I just love this oh shit oh next time it'll be

yeah yeah you don't have to gamble one of the most addictive personalities I've ever met I just I look I wish I could no no I just love this oh shit next time it'll be all me I have one of the most addictive personalities I have ever met I just I look

I wish I could no no I just love it I wish I could bottle dopamine and I just drink it every day

I just love the thrill of watching that little ball it's fucking what about the feeling when you lose I didn't I went in there willing to lose

I didn't mind I didn't lose that much and then but then I won 500 quid on the game because of Carlin Grant yeah man

but anyway I'm not even on about the money so then we started at 7 o'clock and then me and Jackie Lewis ended up

he ended up staying at mine until 7 o'clock I think we went to bed at like 4 we were just playing darts in the bathroom oh my god

telling each other how much we love each other just talking bollocks it was a really good I've really enjoyed that and Boxing Day what do you do Boxing Day

21 hour session all the games Albion had Derby and Wolves had yeah Wolves had United at the same time

so the pub was really busy but we lost and they won so that weren't great but yeah New Year my New Year was pretty shit

it was alright how was yours how was yours Christmas Christmas was chill it was just us four it was well quiet

we did dinner at like who's what's us four mum dad brother your mum was there but then Boxing Day was a busy

one what was your mum wearing you're so weird you're so weird what the fuck man what did she wear for the dinner did a Christmas day run stuffing did she do What was your mum wearing? You're so weird. You're so weird. What the fuck, man? What did she wear for the dinner?

Did a Christmas Day run? Stuffing. Did she do stuffing? Did a Christmas Day run? I didn't go out on Christmas Eve. That was quite sad. Okay. What about what day?

I didn't... I'm just asking what she wore for the dinner. What is wrong with you, freak? You got issues. Major issues. Stop talking, hide that boner, issues stop talking hide that boner and stop i just see it later what did you say what did you wear my mom my mom wears a christmas jumper on christmas what is your mom wear christmas jumpers it's christmas day lingerie you wear christmas jumpers on christmas day i don't know i just want him to shut up you're

making me really uncomfortable what's wrong with you what you wear lingerie? You wear Christmas jumpers on Christmas Day? I don't know, I just want him to shut up. You're making me really uncomfortable. What's wrong with you? Stockings and... What, you wear like family joint pyjamas? Just cut it out! Cut all of this out! Does she wear stockings in her heels? You're ruining this programme again.

I'm going to get out of the programme. Programme? I'm already ill and I'll... Come back to the programme after the advent. I promise you I'll sit in a bad mood. I will be in a bad mood. Anyway, what did you do on Boxing Day then? So she wore a boob tube and a skirt.

Yeah, you're ruining the show. Boob tube, was that? Oh, I'm done. It's like where you get a thin... No, I'm thinking bibs, skirt. Yeah, you ruined it. Boob tube, was that? No, I'm done. It's like where you get a thin...

No, I'm thinking babe station. Okay. What about New Year's? What did you do? We went to Chris's, didn't we? Little Chris? We went to Chris's. Missed you there, actually.

Yeah, we had a really nice night in, to be honest. I wish I was there then. He didn't even see the fireworks. I went to bed at 10. I hate fireworks. I went to bed at 11. Why? fireworks. I went to bed at 11. Why? New Year's Eve.

Why? We were just tired. That's the bit, man. We had a really nice evening. Not even seeing the new year in. Well, it's New Year's somewhere in the world, isn't it?

Fucking hell. Well, yeah, but not where you are. That doesn't really make sense, does it? You should have, really naughty actually, you should have stayed up.

Nah, fuck that. We should have went, why didn't I call it party time? January the 1st is no different to December the 31st No difference to December 31st Is it Quite a big difference What's the big difference

Different year You're one of those edgy blokes Who thinks like Time's a construct Yeah man Fuck it man My behaviours on December 31st Aren't different to January the 1st

I heard you threw up On your own cock For Christmas Eve And that was our last year It wasn't me But you threw up this year Didn't you Didn't throw up

Did you not Nah I heard you were throwing up and shitting. I pulled it back. I was gone for a few hours but then I pulled it back. Damn, yeah.

I drank water for three hours. That's not what I heard. You ever play slap cup? No, but I... I mean, you can pick it up and that's the land it. No. So imagine there's like

a bunch of you in a circle around a table, two cups at either end. You have to bounce the ping pong ball into the cup, move it to the left and you have to catch it up.

But if you do it first time, you can place it anywhere you want so you can get it next to the cup and once you get the cup slapped away, you then do a drink in the middle.

But how far can you move it to the left if you get it? One to the left. But what's one? Is it set out? No, you move it to the person.

People around a table. So I pass it to you, we pass it to you. But if you do it first time, say you have a cup there and I do it first time, I could pass it to the person. People around the table. To the person. So I pass it to you, you pass it to me. But if you do it first time, say you have a cup there and I do it first time, I could pass it to Lewis. We can then do it

and slap your cup away. You only slap to your left. I was just about to say, can you do it to the left? Yeah, you can only slap to your left. Right. Middle drink. So explain that

because nobody knows what that means. It's just like ring of fire. Yeah. Drink in the middle. Then you're basically drinking a lot. You've been drinking a lot lately. Yeah, I have been drinking a lot. that drinking a lot yeah okay have you got a

problem yeah maybe yeah that middle drink was disgusting i actually think you've been drinking more than me like the middle drink was half a

pint it was half a pint of gin fuck that i was destroyed yeah did you drink it yeah all of it all of it straight gin we're having had a little

bit of lemonade so it was a gin and lemonade no no no after said it was half a pint of gin and then he topped it up with lemonade bit of lemonade. So it was a gin and lemonade? No, no, no. Arthur said it was half a pint of gin and then he topped it up with lemonade. I'd love to cross-reference this

with all the people that were there. I drank water from midnight to 3.30 in the morning when I got home and it was so curtainspin the next morning.

I felt so rough. I'm never going to drink it again. I'm never going to drink it again. Two days later at the darts. Yeah. Two days later at the darts. I do have a late Christmas present for you though Theo. As we've seen I didn't do well on the Christmas special

but this is what was supposed to come in time. So Theo for your Secret Santa I understand you're doing an Iron Man this year and I wanted to give you something that would fuel you. You got Robert Downey Jr. on a cameo. I might have just done that. I you something that would fuel you fuck off you got Robert Downey Jr. on a cameo might have just done that oh my god

I wanted something that would fuel you and give you motivation and there was only one person who I thought could do that this is quite a long message though so if anyone wants to pause

just shout pause your secret Santa present you got a video from himself why is it two and a half minutes long yeah feel free to press pause because fucking hell

it's long. Why are we promoting this guy? He's giving you a motivational speech. He's just a guy out of my shoulders for four and a half minutes in the dark. Yeah, let's go. I'm a burning effigy of everything I used to be. You're my rock of empathy, my dear. So come on, let me entertain you

bam bam bam or you get the point to you Theo from me probably got me tipped up I'm on one of your mate Lewis

to you right now because I'm going to do the speaking live it love it turn it off go wild go crazy

have an amazing life be in you believe in yourself be your own high person and have a great time

Lewis will be there to support you you'll be supporting Lewis and that'd be a great friendship to have so keep looking like me,

good luck with that one, and also Ryan Gosling. I mean, that's probably the better one. I mean, unless you've got this majestic type of gingerbread and I don't know

whether you've got that. Put it forward. I don't know what he's saying. He talks so quick, I have no idea. Can we swap him out? He's so, I like this guy, man.

He's so positive. I have no idea what he's saying. You understand it? Yeah. He's so, I like this guy, man. He's so positive. I have no idea what he's saying. You understand it? Yeah. He talks so quick, it's hard. I can't figure out

anything. If you think this is on two times speed, I swear to God, he's just fucking. Is that how he acts? He does cameos all day, so he must be so good

at just talking. Yeah, absolutely. All right, come on. That's a good statement. I don't know how he talks, though.

Come on. What person do we know, man? You stick to that and I'll stick to the ginger beard he does. You, Theo, work it, own it, come on that's a good that's a good statement come on good person doing Ironman you stick to that and I'll stick to the ginger beard you Theo work it own it girl

have a great time you've got this believe in yourself it's going to be hard work but you know how is there still another minute

so believe in yourself have self confidence just imagine that feeling once you complete that Ironman how much respect Lewis will make your hot choccy walkies

for the rest of time hot choccy walkies just imagine the confidence that will give you and the achievement that not many people chocolate walkies for the rest of time just imagine the confidence that will give you and the achievement that not many people will have done it the amount of time no one press up and i'm shattered so you just keep believing yourself and i hope it goes all well for you own the middle of life on the end of life own life forever live for now in the future leave the past behind you and just be the positive influence of an aspect in your own existence why do you have to listen again because it's the power leave the past behind you and just be the positive influence of an aspect in your own existence

why do you have to listen again because it's the power of the ginger beard it's what you're doing work, education, family life love life buying a new pair of socks

not buying a new pair of socks taking Lewis out for walks or lying to the bed just have a great time doing it just believe in yourself banter, laugh, giggle, chuckle your way through life

and have fun every single day because you'll get one chance at this existence so there's no point stressing no point worrying just get rid of the things of what ifs

just go Jesus Christ he's on some shit doesn't he mate this is when you've got to fill out your essay with another 500 words you might ask why Theo and I don't know

but I prefer that you watched it so we can agree to mutually beneficially not talk about it. Okay? That's my thought. Theo, you're amazing.

You're incredible. I hope you have the best life ever with Lewis by your side. Mates do. Picking you up. Helping you out. Maybe doing the Ironman with you. Lewis is going,

I don't want to do the Ironman. I know. I'll be impressed with all this. Have a great time for all time. From me and the Christmas tree, you've got this. And hi. From him and the Christmas tree.

Wow, wow, wow. What a weird fucking guy. I don't know anything he just said apart from have a great time with me in the Christmas tree. It's actually funny. He said believe in yourself like 75 times. Believe in yourself because... What I told him was just like that you look

like him and to sing Robbie Williams and that you're doing an Ironman. He did a good job he nailed it wherever he said he nailed it how much was it I think it was like 25 quid or something

20 quid to be fair he did a lot I don't know what he said for a lot of it he says he gets tired after one press up waffled on for two

I've got to see this part across enough worlds you're going to have to send me that so I can actually hear what he says yeah you still won't understand

why does he talk so fast he's just rattling off cameos imagine if he talked at a normal speed how long the video would have been I think he does like

10 express shots and just does like 100 cameos in 10 minutes it's fucking like he earns 250 grand he'll make a lot of money on there won't he yeah he's just people

tagging him I feel like that was meant to be funnier than it was it was sort of like oh yeah it felt it was. It was sort of like... Oh yeah, it felt... It was more confusion.

It was more like, what's he saying? Thank you, Lewis. He dragged it on for too long for us to laugh at him, really. And he talks really quick. Oh well. Thank you, Peter.

Not Peter. What's his name? Peter. Paul. Paul. Peter. We've got more videos for that for you, haven't we?

Yeah, you had a wild time. You took the internet by storm I'd say that Reeve is responsible for everything that happened on the darts night

because he was king of the stag do also did you see all the woke people being like oh my god isn't he married

what is he having a stag after with the marriage who fucking cares I mean it is a bit weird you know what I saw replies to you moaning about that

saying you're fucking boring wait what from boring we put up a clip and it was like well tom garrett needs to cheer up oh all right

ralph i love it when they go head to head isn't it really cute when they go head to head it's like oh what you're gonna do now who cares if it's after the fucking

wedding no i don't think anyone does you do you literally cared a lot. You cared a lot. You said it was so... You wanted them to get a divorce just so we could have the stag do. Yeah.

Lewis. That's what he wanted. It wasn't even a stag do either. We just called it that for fun. Yeah, we called it that because it wasn't actually that. Yeah,

well... It was like, Ethan enjoys darts, he booked tickets, we all bought tickets and then everyone filled the slot. So he didn't have a stag do then?

That's even worse. That's just a laugh, wasn't it? Was it a stag do? Yes. I don't actually know. It was because he got everyone stag t-shirts.

So therefore, it's weird. I think it's weird. Yeah, I got everyone... What's weird about it? I think having a stag after your wedding

is a bit weird. However, my mate is having one like that this year. He's having a stag before the wedding and one after. What's wrong with that?

Let him have a fucking party, man. I'm happy I get two holidays but I just don't... Is it because you weren't invited? Is that what it is? He's having a stag before the wedding and one after. What's wrong with that? Let him have a fucking party, man. It's not like the boring police over here. I'm happy I get two holidays, but I just don't... Is it because you weren't invited? Is that what it is? I've just said I'm going on both. So how does that make sense?

It's talking about the other one. Oh. I would have liked to have gone, but I don't really know anyone there. Fuck him. What are you, number one? Fuck him, then. I just think... I just don't...

I like traditional things. A stag should happen before the wedding. A stag must get a dance from a stripper. Yeah, a traditional stag stripper dance. Would you want a stripper at your stag do? You have to say no to them. I'd go to a brothel, though. Right.

There's a couple of good ones. I've never had a lap dance. You've never been to a stripper's? I've been to a stripper's. I've never had a lap dance you've never been to a strippers I've been to a strippers I've never had a lap dance in Germany they're honestly shit

yeah I can't imagine a lap dance I just get a fucking boner in my jeans you're paying just to get a boner I'm saying if you've got a lap dance

it's like oh give me a boner or you're not gonna give me one boner please yeah that's what it is I'll have one boner please that seems transactional in your relationship

I'll have one rectory my friend give it to me now in Budapest there's lots of Thai massages That's what it is I'll have one boner please That seems transactional In your relationship as well I'll have one rectory My friend Give it to me now In Budapest There's lots of Thai massages Give me one boner And they're like

Waving at me Not every Thai massage They'll probably say Like non-sexual outside Because people like you Think every Thai massage Is a fucking happy ending There was a questionable

About how times They probably are Well when they're waving At me like Yeah who waves When he's a massage I'm in here they're only waving at you like that

because that's how you wave to normal people anyway Charlie was fuming when she saw me waving back like well yeah when she saw you were handing out when she saw you were handing out money going give me one boner

she's going she's like how much for one boner no but yeah strippers I think strippers are shit and I'm not just saying that like fucking

yeah they are shit you're just being you're paying just to get turned on and I'm not just saying that like fucking they are shit you're just you're paying just to get turned on and then you get nothing it's like what's the point of that

yeah I prefer the glory halls in Germany how was the Stag do? yeah it was good laugh good fun Reeve was on top form he was on top he was on top

he had three pints before we'd even met him you've already said that yeah I know but that means he was on top form he was on it Junk Reeve's funny Junk Reeve like on it. Drunk Reeves.

Drunk Reeves, like on it Reeves. I did encourage the group quite comfortably into drinking way more than they should do. Nice. I'm not going to take that from you. Chris actually.

Wait, what? You go. Chris came. No, I was trying to not yawn. Oh. I wasn't actually taking the beer. Chris came, didn't he? Yeah, Chris made the stag.

He actually made it and then Reeves was drinking and Chris was like, oh, maybe don't have that drink. I was like fuck off mate you what was he saying that little turny he was trying to look after

this little man wasn't he and actually I don't know how he was the last one out I don't know how you pulled through you went through a dip and then you came back and then you confirmed it

you had a good time as well didn't you Theo nothing eventful really happened to you on social media there were no embarrassing videos of you anyway was there hmm I want you to know we did all we could no embarrassing videos of you anyway was there hmm

I want you to know we did all we could to stop the sharing you know that you know that one when I'm holding the sign it wasn't until like two days ago

which I found out it wasn't blank Lewis edited it yeah we know yeah we know mate because I saw you holding it up at the time

and I was like well it's not holding up an empty one I have no memory of holding that up why would you be holding up a blank sign though yeah that is weird

because it's funny I was sat watching Nice Wallace and Gromit and saw the picture come through you're obsessed mate yeah I watched it again I have no memory of holding that up. Why would you be holding up a blank sign, though? Yeah, that is weird. Because it's funny. I was sat watching Nice Wallers and Gromit and saw the picture come through. You're obsessed, mate. Yeah, I watched it again last night. I watched them all. Neat and tidy. Is that why we're in a shed?

But we tried to stop the distribution of... No, you didn't. Yeah, we did. No, you didn't. We said, look at how great of a time feels like. Let's not ruin it. That is true. You horrendously encouraged it. You edited it blank. Let's not ruin it. That is true. You horrendously encouraged it.

You edited it blank. Let's all be mature and not edit this pic. Four and a half million views. 14,000 likes. By the way, have you seen companies have now

started taking that photo? Dublin Airport took it and they put like best airport. This is going to be around forever. It's going to be around forever. Have you seen the Dublin Airport one forever i am a ginger twat oh that's bad yeah let's just like cabochon you know well we can't if you're wondering what's on screen right now just

have a look at my t-shirt um oh that's funny don't remember being that's how i think was i in the dark i don't think that's really yeah so and you didn't realize any of this was happening whilst you were having a fantastic time at the next night we were living in the moment bro i've got like no photos on my phone that's how i know i was having a good time yeah it's just a lot of hairline you require a hairline i'm actually christian erickson that one of uh chris where it's like missing hair, missing hair. Yeah, that was the best one. I think that person's the winner. You know I tweeted that photo.

The guy replied saying you stole my tweet. I'm like, it's a photo of me. Oh my God, you stole my tweet. Honestly, people are like it's literally my photo.

It's me actually, yeah. Panky is my kid. One of my favourite was 180 hair follicles. That was my favourite. The one of Tom is the best that was not on me

oh sorry yeah not on you it's a look alive there was other videos of you though Theodore yeah why why has it why have I

why fuck me this was a struggle I think it's because you're trying yeah fucking so if you're listening to this if you're listening to this

it's Reeve holding on. Put Theo on my shoulders for the entirety of Robbie Williams' Angels. Go in there and make it all about yourself. And just refuse to get down as well. Do you know how long that song is, by the way? That was about three fucking minutes. I had my eyes shut as well, so I was just swinging around. Oh my God.

My neck is genuinely still super sore from that. This might be a very silly and obvious question but whose idea was it for him to go on your shoulder? I think it was yours. I'm going to say it's you. It was definitely yours.

I don't think it was either of us. Fee was like, oh, all right, this is my moment. And everyone around the table was like, everyone around the table was like,

get him on your shoulders. I was like, all right, sure. You went around to everyone this is my moment I'm picturing you with like gooses

oh my god I've got oh my god guys look and then everybody in the crowd stood up and went Theo

Theo I've got to do it and Littler came back on stage and during his break going Theo you're amazing Littler came out

and started joining in yeah he just said that. Let's see this, Dad. I do feel bad. I didn't realise how much I was just yeeting myself. I could have destroyed the table. I don't even know if it's in this video or not,

but there's a point where I... He locks in! I started breathing properly. He's like grimacing his face everyone's just singing like look at you

he's just oh no the bouncer so you're not allowed to go on people's shoulders right and the bouncer was loving it a little bit he was like

I'll let you have this song oh thank you he probably he probably snores but it comes to Robbie Williams genuinely and there's a good like 20, 30 seconds that I can remember of that period

being like, lock in now, man. I'm going to drop him. So crazy. Because putting him down is not an option. The problem is, if he was still and just doing it,

fair enough, but he's like swinging around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's looking up to the heavens. He's having people the same weight as you on your shoulders. He's fucking hard. Yeah He's looking up to the heavens He's having people The same weight As you're on your shoulders He's fucking hard

And also it's scary When you're on the shoulders I think Yeah exactly How many views is that I don't know 4 million views Where does it say that

Well it's got 350,000 likes That's not even That's not the best video Of the night No the best video Is the one of Chris Have you seen the one of Chris Oh no

Oh my god Poor little We'll come on to that one We'll come on to that one Okay now I've not got so many views No no no This video is the one of Chris. Have you seen the one of Chris? Oh, no. Oh, my God. Poor little Chris. No, we'll come on to that one. We'll come on to that one. Okay, now, I've got so many views. No, no, no.

There's a better one. I mean, see what I mean? I woke up the next day, and I'm like, oh, I've gone fucking viral all for the wrong reasons. What's the Chris one? There's a video. Chris trying to drink a pint,

but it takes him like 30 seconds. Oh, yeah. Everyone's like, just sit down. Everyone's going, everyone's going, oh, but they're going,

oh, for like 25 seconds. Maybe they're having to take, they're having to take breaths in between. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, just sit down. Everyone's going, everyone's going, but they're going, for like 25 seconds. People are having to take breaths in between. It's like he's drinking from a straw. It'll probably be a hard one to search for. Yeah, it's a bit of a rogue one there. Matt, get to that other video, Theo. Yeah, there we go.

This is by far the best. No, no, no, stick on the dance. We'll come to this one in a bit. Go to the falling one. Now, this is a longer story though, isn't it? Yeah this you need to tell us about you being me all right so reeve so obviously you know the hill down from alley pally it's quite right it's quite it's quite a steep hill i could have fucking died by the way looking back it is very naughty of me to have done that because there's every chance that he could have cracked his head open

and been in serious trouble but I've never seen this man laugh fuck me how funny was it oh my god that is that is

you just tripped him off yeah I clipped his back heel and he went like fell forward I went flying I've like I've still I can't put any pressure

did you like jump forward or were you no I went just like that but he's hit his elbow and he's going,

oh, oh God, I'm in so much pain and I'm going, Theo, fucking hell, you're right, mate. Oh my... Fuck, guys, what do we do?

Beds and Elliot walk off, right? And Theo's going, I think I'm dying. I think I'm dying but the most deadpan straight faced he's like i'm not gonna make it for him the taxi journey afterwards we were just recounting the story and i had to giggle so much and i couldn't stop crying honestly i'd nearly pissed myself in the taxi we were, we were genuinely saying the same

things over and over again. But you know when you everything's funny at that point. Like someone would say it and you go, and then you'd say the same thing again and someone else would go, he kept saying, I'm gonna die. I've never seen him. I swear to God, I've never seen him

laugh like that in my life. It was relentless. I was crying out of every orifice that was the bit when I was saying I'm going to die yeah he's just there it fucking hurt though

I tell you that imagine you're just walking home from the dart and you see fucking Theo on the floor what I didn't understand when I look back at this video

is why is his head fucking down the hill because I fell down the hill but then I realised I realised he's rolled over onto his back yeah he's been tripped up oh you came down fucking down the hill because I fell down the hill but then I realised I realised he rolled over onto his back yeah

he's been tripped up oh you came down the grass no it's like the hill on the there but it was quite steep yeah

oh that's good oh mate I was so funny it's definitely one of those moments where if you were there you would be crying that 300

yeah it's hard to realise those type of stories. Oh, it was the best thing ever, man.

That was the only reason why he wasn't as angry as he was because, honestly, the laughter produced,

he was going, I fucking smashed that dinner, guys. In the taxi, he's like, yeah,

but it was worth it. Look at you laughing, man. I do think he's like, yeah, but it's worth it. Look at you laughing, man. I do think there's a a money video there. Oh, is that this one?

No, sorry. One more. We're still in the taxi and obviously we're just recounting the same thing and Peter's gone. I'm so funny, aren't I? We're getting tripped up

down a hill. Is my reaction going to die? Am I going to die? so funny aren't i we're getting tripped up down the hill is my record gonna die yeah am i gonna die was there anything else from the stag that was uh oh that was off the walls bananas not really it was a bit of a crazy group wasn't it really yeah oh uh he lost a thousand pounds it wasn't a thousand pounds it was 950 pounds it what? Okay, it was £650,000. Yeah, on what? Basically, in the hospitality, because they were the only tickets we could actually buy. It wasn't.

There's like a darts match between like two people from the group. And I don't know who nominated someone from our table, but it was Bez versus Arthur. Arthur nominated himself. No, no, no. But someone put forward our table as the people to play the game. Oh, right. Yeah, because it was Bez versus Arthur. Arthur nominated himself. No, no, no. But someone put forward our table as the people to play the game.

Oh, right. Yeah, because it was a YouTube table. Yeah, but someone else did that. We didn't. No, PDC did that. Okay, right.

There you go. Yeah. And Bez versus Arthur at a nine dart challenge. Whoever wins a thousand pounds Harry versus... Arthur's never played darts.

Ethan's meant to be good. Yeah. He lost to Arthur? Yeah. What? That's a feeling. He lost to Arthur? Yeah. What? I was fuming. To be fair, nine dart challenge,

it can happen, can't it? Because you can eat like the five in a row. Yeah, they just give you random darts. You don't use

your own darts. You're not using your own darts. a thousand quid on it? No, I didn't do that. It was less than that. I ended up getting

Harry a champagne spa weekend, so it's okay. On the silent auction. Yeah, because they came around and you'd bid for stuff and he could do it with the mic

and he'd be there well that was it a spank for a reminder on that one they don't mess about they don't mess about they come up to your table instantly like

yeah you gotta pay yeah that's what happened to me oh god it was awful don't you remember that night when they were like you owe 30 grand I'm like

I don't have that 30? I won everything I've never told you this when we went when we got in that Bruno G show I didn't realise

you bid on every single thing possible and I was basically there was lowly things you won everything I won nearly everything

there's like a room of a thousand people and so by the way a thousand very wealthy there's some wealthy people I a thousand people and so like by the way a thousand very wealthy there's some wealthy people I wasn't bidding

I was basically bidding like ten or twenty pounds over the like there's like a suggested price yeah so like it was a trip to Vegas for ten people

and I thought I think it was I don't know it wasn't that much that one that was like I don't know four grand

five grand and I was like between ten people I was like if you have to pay within 30 days i could easily get 10 people to do that or not then the gordon rams one this is one of my mom too that was fucking 800 quid then there was another dining experience there was a trip to

like york there was a helicopter ride how bad were you no no but i didn't think i'd win and i also thought and then the new york trips with Adam which in the end I couldn't go because I couldn't sort my visa out it got to the point where I was bidding on things thinking oh a lot of these even if I win I could sell them

to other people and just pay anyway she comes around and she's like yeah so you've won all the you've won 12 things you owe 26,500

I'm like are you fucking joking I was like I only really won the Bruno G shirt on the New York trip and she's like well you've got she's like you're going want the Bruno G shirt and the New York trip and she's like well you've got

she's like you're going to have to have more than that because you've won them all you've got to have to have more than that so I was like you can't take them back now

I was like give me the Gordon Ramsay one and then I'll have the New York trip wait you negotiated with her to be like I'll take a couple but

yeah he's won everything and they're like oh you're doing so much to help me thank you so much some other me it's not even funny some other people have definitely

at least wrote a number underneath Thomas thank you Thomas you've done so much good Thomas betting £10 over the suggested bid each time and other people

are just writing in the suggested bid and never winning the thing he's got the I think it was is I think they had multiple of the things right there's no way I'd have want to match what I think it was is I think they had multiple of the things

right there's no way I'd have won all of them I think the suggested bid there's absolutely no way I reckon it's probably the known thing that the suggested bid is like

extortionate maybe it wasn't though I don't think I always think that when they were doing all these trips to Tuscany did you read through it

yeah yeah yeah I was like this actually seems like a good deal but could I get it if you book it yourself you could probably do that Vegas trip no way

I wish I'd have just done that but honestly, I'm not paying all that right now. Fucking right before Christmas. Darts was good though. I really enjoyed it. I saw some good games as well.

Darts is class. I've never been before. I barely missed a day of this tournament. It was a lot. I really did enjoy it. It was one of the best nights. I'd go as far as saying

that was probably the best night of the year so far. I would as well. Yeah. As in by the end of the year. Oh, of 2024? Yeah. Oh, you mean...

In terms of a boys' night out, I think that has to be... It happened in 2025. Yeah, I know. So it can't be of 2024. Okay, 2025 then. For the whole year. Starting out early.

Yeah, I think it was really, really, really was good. The tournament missed Wayne Mardle though. I will say that what about what about this

has anyone seen on the Theo video trend him fucking choking on his own saliva this is crazy you think it's cheese honestly

so sure it's cheese and it turns out it's the the guy's voice even better so scarce in here what can someone have a laugh?

Oh! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm gonna fall out of there. Oh my God. Oh. It's so stringy. Oh. Why? What happened? Did you know what happened? I just tried to play it off. We did a black and white. Yeah, I know.

But when you're actually doing it. We did that black and white clip. That's our video. No, I'm talking about when you. Oh my God. You were so frustrating to ask the question. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, Jodie told me straight away. I was like, fuck it, man, leave it. If you're recording that, you're like, ugh, bitch. This amount of spit

is insane, by the way. That's like someone actually... That thing at the bottom of your tongue where it sprays. I'll get that sometimes. I've never had that before, though. That happens to me.

I think the string... That's the amount of spit that comes out when I actually spit. I think it had that before though. That happens to me. I think the string That's the amount of spit that comes out when I actually spit. I think it's the Australian air. The string The string is so much worse. The down under spit mate.

Because do you know what's worse? The spit The spit goes back to his lip. He would have had a big hump of spit on his lip. Oh leave it rolling. I don't think that spit Matt type in on Google

Spraying spit beneath your tongue What? Trust me it's a thing It's a thing Spraying bit you put Gleeking comes from built up water Yeah gleeking that's what it's called Gleeking

It happens to me Sometimes I'm just talking And like It'll just spray from underneath called. It's called gleeking. It happens to me. Sometimes I'm just talking and like, it spittles just spray from underneath my tongue. It's mad. Does that ever happen to you? No.

I've spat back so I don't think it comes from my tongue. Feels mad. I could have taken it out. Boring. Yeah. Leave it here. Do you know what Theo,

you're so funny. Yeah, I'm funny man. You're a head gleeker man. I'm a head gleeker. That is a medal. Damn. Look at that fucking... Yeah, fucking spit laugh.

It's been a good week for Theo content on social media. Yeah, it's a lot of viewership, actually. You've gained a lot of new viewers. Just scrolling. No result in anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just people watching.

Oh, well, that's pretty much caught up, isn't it? I monetized it in zero ways. Yeah. Yeah, sure, I did monetise it in zero ways. It was worth it, wasn't it? One thing I will say about the darts is that I did see people saying is we got free tickets. We definitely did not get free tickets. I got free tickets.

Did you pay for all the tickets? No, I paid for my ticket. No, he made sure everyone knew about it as well that night. Have you paid your ticket? I paid for my ticket. Well, I heard you didn't. I didn't do that. I heard you freed out.

Maybe I've done it once when we were like, oh, who's paid? Oh, this is crazy. I feel I need to pay Ethan back. get i paid well i heard you didn't i didn't do that i heard you free maybe i maybe i maybe i've done it once when we were like oh who's paid for oh this is crazy i still need to pay you from back i'll pay it right now can you pay me after the show i'm not paying you 50 quid why why not paying me i own for the backside we. We got paid. It wasn't for the backside. It was for Purdy. Yeah, for Purdy. We've all paid him. That's who's

Purdy. You're dead towards Purdy. I'm joking. I'll add it onto your paycheck. How about

that, buddy? Yeah, thanks, mate. Thank you, boss. All right. Who's ready for a...

Oh, we didn't even say we bumped into friend of the show as well. Friend of the show? Yeah, whatever.

Did you bump into a dragon den? Dragon den? Yeah, we did actually oh yeah we said this to you before

but it's not actually it's not he doesn't own Paddy Power he is called Paddy Power no it's the it was the grandma no I understand that and the daughter

who's like a dragon's den I'll tell you yeah I understand that but oh wait so are you saying the whole family was there we think the people

that own Paddy Power The ducks are called The powers are they She told me She told me She was a dragon Sorry I thought you meant This guy right

Who No just She said to me I'm a dragon I'm a dragon My mother She said to me Grandma

By the way Grandma loved you She fucking loved me Is that not cringe Well I've just held up I've just held up Another 85 kilo male On my shoulder For four minutes Who's that By the way, Grandma loved you. She fucking loved me. Is that not cringe? I just held up another 85 kilo male on my shoulder

for four minutes. Who's that? So this guy, That in there? That Mr. Power? Yeah, he's like the face of Paddy Power and I might be wrong here,

but don't shoot me. He's like the face of Paddy Power. He does all like, if there's like Cheltenham coming up, he goes on and promotes Paddy Power, blah, blah, blah. And he's actually called Paddy Power, but does all like, if there's like Cheltenham coming up, he goes on and promotes Paddy Power, blah, blah, blah. And he's actually called Paddy Power, but he just works for them. Oh, he makes his name?

Imagine they got his CV through. People think he owns it. I think his name is Patrick Power. Yeah, yeah. That's very cool. He's called Paddy Power, but he's not the owner of Paddy Power. But we were sat with someone who is close to the relations of owning the company. Oh, they're all Irish as well. Yeah.

So Paddy Power, I'm assuming, is owned or was created by a guy called Paddy Power. And the Powers fucking own it. But this guy, I thought you meant this guy. This is what I was saying to you. He doesn't actually own Paddy Power. No, sorry. He's just an employee. He's fucking weird though i think because because of his name they've used him as the face and we've got the grandma power

yeah it's probably grandma yeah i don't know what about dragon den power she was daughter power daughter power oh she was a dragon she was dragon power power ranger well they all they're just like fucking have a great time yeah they left, which made me think they actually probably are the powers. Yeah. Why would they leave before the crowd? Before the crowd. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Well, there you go. Good fun, good fun, good times. It was a really good hour. Thank you, Lewis. I appreciate every week. Sorry, Matt. Not every week.

Not every week. Not every week. Who is it? Yeah, who owns it? Oh, is it her? Who? The middle one. At the bottom. Yeah, Louis did. It might have been her.? Who? The middle one, at the bottom.

Yeah, there we did. It might have been her. That looks like her. No, she's not Irish. G'day. What? No, it's not. G'day, indeed. No, no, she weren't Irish.

Oh. Oh, they weren't related to the powers. It was just a dragon there. I don't know. Yeah, we were pretty amicably for that, to be honest. But they weren't even for the dragon's death. That's another... I'm a dragon! that's another anecdote I've

remembered obviously because I comfortably objectively drank the most by the time we were at the darts Theo every time

he was finishing drinks was going I'm catching up with you I'm nearly on your level I did neck two pints in five

minutes anyway philosophy everyone ready because this is an interesting one it's bad ass for this uh you are called for jury duty on a trial to better the case is explained to you this being the case a woman is found dead in a ditch next to a bridge the only suspect is the defendant on trial during the explanations you realize on the same night you were driving down a country road

and in a thunderstorm with no vision, you hit something which you thought was a cow. Turns out everything lines up with the actual facts of the suspect's been misattributed with the crime and you actually did kill the woman. Sorry, buddy. The defendant is innocent. Have we done this before?

No. I think we have done this. I think I'm going to sound like a tosser. We haven't. We've done it with your partner but like if you found out that... Most people sound like a tosser but it's a sorry...

I'm keeping my mouth shut. Okay. You have the final vote in the jury. Anyway, I've finished my thing. Everyone is convinced he killed her yet you know the truth. Obviously, you did it. Oh, yeah.

You're going to get away with it. You call guilty as the final vote and sentence him to a life in prison with no parole or choose differently number one i would say harsh sentence harsh sentence indeed for manslaughter um i agree i'd say you gotta get a little better lawyer sort of yeah if he's innocent then they should be able to prove if he didn't do it and the lawyer's shit then maybe skill issue. Yeah, if he is innocent, then they should be having to prove it. If he didn't do it and the lawyer's shit, then maybe skill issue. Okay, so, alright, so, it's nothing to do

with your moral compass. It's to do with, like, how good you think. Oh, pass blame. Right, right, right. It's not my fault. It's not my job to hide myself.

They have to come find me. It's his lawyer's fault. They haven't caught me yet. Yeah, they have to find me. What if, what if in the jury, when you're deliberating, someone says

I've just got this weird feeling that you did it why's your car got a dent in what do you say then hit a deer have a night

I wait till after the meeting I have some pullback and I threaten them what the judge the judge after everyone's been after

cause cause adjourn listen here come at me again I'm gonna fucking kill you what you could do if that person you wait till the afternoon

and go yeah I did it sorry so I mean we've all agreed yeah yeah yeah everyone's just saying that just to add on to that so then what happens when you threaten them

but the guy is recording the convo and then goes and tells everyone that you've threatened them because they brought up you killing them and now everyone thinks you've killed them

let's get realistic they didn't record the convo but yes they might go telling me for threatening them I play victim I say no no

no no no no this person threatened me I'm telling you they recorded it because they don't trust you they knew you were

a murky character sorry how are you allowed to get away with completely changing the narrative no it's very good it's very good no we've already

agreed it's very good it's very good he said he'll sit on the fence no no I didn't no that's another Theo joke there guys. He said he'll sit on the fence. No. No, I didn't.

No, that's another Theo joke there, guys. Well done, Theo, for cracking it all up. My thought back would be, how would you sleep at night then? If you're just going to pass out. Not in the prison cell. At home. I've done worse.

I'd sleep better than in a prison cell. I don't know if that's true. I'd go to prison if I could choose. Wait, you're telling me you wouldn't feel the slightest ounce of guilt oh yeah but i'll be all right when i'm forever to be condemned but you know what they say though time is the best healer so give it a few weeks and the person who's getting blamed they might be a dickhead also what are you gonna say there might be a child molester you're gonna say there lou you go to prison if what there might be a child molester yeah it doesn't matter if they're a criminal you've taken a life you've taken

someone's daughter you've taken someone's mum you know yeah no but also it's sort of like is that how God intended it well that's because what will be

will be so maybe God has saved me for a higher purpose well you certainly now believe in God do you I do if it needs to

justify why he's gone to prison or not I'm like maybe this is what God wants from me I I

I mean I'm not going to prison all God wants from me I I I mean I'm not going to prison all my life I probably shouldn't you may as well just die then but I wouldn't feel an injury guilt okay at all

you could just tell yourself you killed a cow I wouldn't tell myself anything I'd actually I'd hop and skip out of the court courtroom and just go and play

I'd whisper in their ear I'd go oh anyone fancy a pint a bit of. What's going on here? I'd whisper in their ear before. Up. Anyone fancy a pint? A bit of card, yeah. You need to let them know that was you before, like, the actual victim. You whisper in their ear on your way out. No. She's like...

As they drag him away. The solitary confidant for the rest of his stupid life. I'll keep ringing them and trying to visit and just go now i'll only confess when they're like 80 year old and their lives are already over all they know is prison at this point i know but all they know is prison they don't hang on you're gonna wait 60 years to walk back into prison

and be like hate resume and they get kicked out of prison at 8 year old they have nowhere to live and they have to no they're in there

for life bro they're in there for life how evil I'm going to fuck this shit up I'll do what Gus does to Hector in Breaking Bad and just go and visit him every so often

because he can't talk and just go look at me I did this I did this I did this to I did this. I did this to you, you little... You're going to fucking hold that. I don't care about your family.

Oh my god, I'm going to marry his wife. I'm going to console his grieving wife when he's been taken away to prison. And I'm going to marry her and visit him in prison with her. He killed his girlfriend. That's the... So she's dead, mate. He's going to marry her and visit him in prison with her. He killed his girlfriend. That's the... Yeah.

Yeah. So she's dead, mate. We keep the dead body. No, he's going to marry his mum. What are you talking about? His mum. Yeah. We get old.

Get old of his dad. Right, you're going to marry his mum. Yeah. Mum, sorry. I'll call him. All he needs to go to prison and marry his mum and then confess him

when he's 85 years old No No All jokes aside I wouldn't give a fuck Yeah well You've done that before Would you

I'd care Yeah No I probably wouldn't own that See You're not even going to Shag his mum before you confess So you don't care that much then Otherwise you'd do it

If you really cared You'd own up Sishamal Highground Really silly No one's fucking At least shag his mum Before you confess Because If you confess because

if you confess a year into that sentence no I'm not I didn't say I was going to confess you'd be regretting it you you were all going to walk out of that courtroom

not giving a fuck about what's happening well no obviously joking aside I don't know I don't know how I'd feel because I wouldn't even put myself

in that position that's the moral dilemma guys well I don't know would you feel fucking shit for sending someone to life I probably feel worse if I was shagging his mum

yeah I feel like that's a step too far actually I'd have felt too much still confess oh yeah

no I mean I'm just being honest I honestly don't think I'd really care that much do you want to be in prison all your life the game is the game no I don't

the game is the game whisper to them game's game buddy don't hate the player it was me the game's the game in it. No, I don't. The game is the game. You just whisper to them, game's game, buddy. Don't hate the player. It was me. The game's the game. What would you do, Theo? Probably, yeah.

I'd whisper to them, they're saying, sorry bud, game's the game. Well, Theo wouldn't remember we even drove a car on that night anyway, so it doesn't really matter, does it? Driving? No, it wouldn't be me.

Yeah, I mean, I'd probably just just severely drink to forget the memory. Yeah, yeah, that's fair enough. That's a fair piece, Lord. That was an easy philosophy. I got a fact.

First fact. You didn't... Well, you'd have a moral compass, mate, dear. You didn't answer what I said. You didn't answer what I said. What was that? You said, obviously,

the one person accused you... Oh, yeah, they've recorded that. And you go and threaten them, but then they record you and go and show that recording to the rest of the group. And now they're starting to think you're a bit weird

because why would you go and threaten someone who just asked you a question about the dent in your car? All right, okay. So number one, I make myself cry. How are you doing that? Straight away. Let's see an example. How would you make yourself cry?

Let's see an example. Okay, no. Who are you? Who are you? So you are the person who I'm threatening the judge. And these are the other jury members. Let me get this on. Let me get this on. Let me get this on.

Guys, guys, guys, before we put this guy to death, I need to let you know, this specky freak threatened me just because I asked him about the dent in his car. So I'm starting to think maybe he killed her. I didn't do it. Did you actually cry? I didn't do it. He actually cry? I didn't do it

he just takes his cheek he's unfair he can take his glasses no that's guys he's lying you don't I know

I tell you what's happening is your eyes have actually hit the fucking temperature of the room behind the glasses mate and now they're just watering from being dry

I didn't do it but here's the recording it's because I shagged this man for a year and he's framing me don't explain frame him no but you're not being framed!

Someone else is already going to fucking jail for you! How do you know? You're framing him! I don't like how you're all gagging up on me! I have the recording here. Oh no, that's me wanking. Look, I have this recording! Why is he fucking following cartel?

I have these in a gunny on me. Hey guys, here. Right, well you're not even in here. Why is he gonna make it about himself again? He's recording on you. Hey guys, here. Right, well you're not even in here. Why's he gotta make it about himself again? He's so weird. Yeah, buddy, I have this recording of you. Let's just lock him up. Yeah, yeah, he's going away.

He's escaped, he's a child molester. Why's there no light on him? He's touch- Oh, there he is. He's a bald man, he touches the children. But you, I have a recording of you threatening me, man. I'll kill you you got five different acts. I'm gonna kill use all you say a fucking word you fucking Why are you swearing you got bleeped out now? You got more editing to do buddy character? Hey? Why are you Mexican? Fucking well done Lou you just set you've all Well done, Lou, you broke the set.

Oh, the cameras are gone. And you broke the chair as well. So what have you got like a booster thing for your chair? So small. Yeah, and you didn't get me one. You're such a small man. Right, who- Just scratch me in the face.

Who wants a fact? That's what I do. I'd rather you just didn't talk. Oh. Okay, this week we're doing fact versus fact, because- You've got to do a light fact, then a heavy fact. Theo claims facts are easy, so he's got a fact, I've got a do a light fact. They don't have any facts are easy

So he's got a fact I've got a fact you can tell us which factors Feel would you like to go first? Oh fuck on the facts off in a minute? Oh fuck to know someone's fact in me like bill you go first man But I want you to know I am well versed in the world of this is how I don't hit my Did you know intense lighting did you know the iron man? Yeah, I'm glad the set works world of facts. This is how Adolf Hitler did what? Did you know? Intense lighting. Did you know?

The Iron Man. Oh yeah, I'm glad the set works. You just turned one light off. Yeah, yeah. Literally turned that light off.

Keep pressing it, mate. Oh my God. Did nothing. Badgers have a first class honours in architecture.

Go on then. Because they're good at building dumbs. It's beavers, mate. You know beavers? Here's a little side one. You know beavers were very,

genuinely beavers were almost extinct. Yeah. They came back. They came back. And bald eagles as well. What do they even fucking do? And bald bakers.

A beaver? I'll just eat them. I wonder what they taste like. Right. You sort of can't say that. You don't know what a beaver tastes like. Badges have a first class on this architecture.

So not only do badges have an incredible sense of smell up to how many times more powerful than humans? Seven. Three million. Fifty? Three million.

Seven. Seven hundred times wow super nose they call them yeah super nose that was my nickname yeah they call it yeah just like italian batch which helps them locate food sorry that too harsh was that too harsh i think you're okay man sorry italian you said he has a super nose i don't think you've stepped on that which helps them locate food like worms, insects. Insects? Insects and small mammals underground.

They carry TB. They don't carry TB. They transmit TB. The bollocks. What is TB? Tuberculosis. Well. HIV.

But what's really wild. But what's really wild. I mean, at least they have something in common with a badger. But what's really wild and what obviously defines them by having a first-class honours in architecture is that they can dig a tunnel system so extensive that it can stretch for over 30 metres and even have multiple entrances and exits,

making them the master's underground real estate. They can create cities underground with no... They can't see shit. They go... And they can smell their way through the field can't see shit they go and they can smell their way through the field are you thinking of a mole no badgers aren't blind you're underground it's dark mate isn't it there's no light oh my god well they can see can't they see in the dark badgers no they work underground with their nose you know when i used to live at the end of that coldest i don't know he says they're all so it's poor you. You can't visit my house at the end of the coldest day.

Oh, no. They can only see in black, white and grey. So, yeah, they can see in dark, basically. That's not... So a dog can see in dark, can it? Because it can see in black and white. Fucking idiot. No, it's not.

You are so stupid. Dogs can't only see in black and white. Yes, they can. No, they can't. It's like... It's certain colours they can't see. The point is, there's no light underground, mate. See, no.

Typing can badgers see in the dark. You know when we lived in Leicester? I'm happy to be wrong. At the top of the Cordy State, you came to visit a couple of times.

Badgerfield. Yeah, our back garden was nationally protected because badgers were in that. Because underground, there's a system of caves that they've

created. Isn't it? They work ground by smelling their way through tunnels. We couldn't do any work on the back garden.

Mad though. Because badgers, their sets were in You know you talk about the underground cave systems and you just put water down it. Badger, badger, mushroom. Badger, badger, badger. How do they have a first class honours?

Because they can create underground real estate. So you're lying. They can dig tunnels. I tell you why. No, no, no, no, no, no. You lied. No, but if you led a human

to create an underground system like that, they'd clearly get a first class honors in architecture. Oh my God. Building a tunnel. You are joking. We build tunnels. Then we have the fucking Euro tunnel. Theo, you are,

he's just a joke. He's a badger we're talking about, by the way. Theo, is this a joke? I just made up the title. That is fact. His fact is, badgers make tunnels. Your fact was,

a fucking badger has a degree in architecture when in fact, it does not. Badger makes tunnels. You thought a badger had seven times better smell than humans. That's a 700. That's impressive.

Yeah, no, that bit's good. Y'all are going to get so cooked by my fuck. That is embarrassing. If you'd have said, like, badgers went to Oxford University for an architecture degree. You are mental, mate. Fuck off! All they have to do is get just one.

All he could have said is, oranges are orange. Yeah. And it would have been wrong. Is that your fucked over? Yeah. Instead, he chose a lie i think i'm gonna be uh it's not a lie so they don't know it wasn't it was a um they don't have a first class honors degree what's the thing where it's like a hyperbole no why are you such badgers have a degree it was a um you know when something's something else but it's not it's a metaphor yeah

oh okay oh so what was the fact then they just dig tunnels they're just really good at digging tunnels apparently

you can hold that into your save your decision making also not only that in this little settlement they've got underground they live in clans and they have like

clan tags and that so you've got phase badger phase all this oh my god okay yeah phase badger phase all this okay yeah phase badger optic badge yeah arctic badge okay so my fact is jesus isn't it crazy how we've done a fact segment and neither of them are gonna be yeah guys first word was jesus here remember

jesus number one that's gonna be your first words what. Remember that? Jesus wrote number one song. That's one of your first words? What did you just say? Jesus wrote number one song. Jesus wrote number one song. A number one song. A number one song. First ever song. In which country? You'll find out.

Probably Israel. Okay, let me take you back to the 1960s. Right. He wasn't alive in the 1960s, though, was he? Jesus should talk about it. He's alive if you believe in him. Yeah. In 1960.

He's alive in three spirits Actually that's also not true Because in the bible He fucking dies Why don't you wait for the story Yeah but people talk to him Don't they Ah Jesus

I cut my head And my fucking chin Got in the way Just wait for the story You have to hear me out here Okay The point of the story Is you don't have all the answers

At the start Was it Gabriel Jesus You might be confused At this bit But then it'll make sense Later on Ah Well then It's early 1960s

and the world is taken over by a plague a dancing plague because the Beatles are raising the roof am I right

raising the roof the Beatles are releasing loads of songs and that and they're going worldwide everyone thinks

they're fucking class Beatlemania yeah Beatlemania's in full flow and Paul McCartney he is fucking loving it. Like, he's taking it all in,

all this attention, loving it and he had fans rocking up at his door in Liverpool. I sound like a bird. In Liverpool. Yeah,

I did actually. Rocking up at his house but the thing is, he wouldn't ignore it or complain or get security like any of us might. He answered the door. Any of us might.

Yeah. If you had people rocking up at your door. Yeah, but... I mean, I'm not saying we do, but I'm saying if you did... He would have thousands, though. No, it wasn't like

a battle situation with thousands. It's just like people would come up. Not everyone knew where he lived. Yeah, they didn't have social media back then, did they? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the internet. He'd answer the door

and he'd be like, oh, you alright? And then if they were shit crack, he'd be like, no, sorry. And then close the door. If they were good crack and if they were fit, who knows, he'd probably sh then close the door if they're good crack and if they were fit who knows he

probably shagged them I'm presuming I imagine he would do that why are you imagining Paul McCartney having sex

you're a pretty baby yeah you want to come in and have a little tea party it's not Mr. Garrison Mr.

Garrison what is that Paul McCartney Not Mr. Garrison. Mr. Garrison. Who did that? I'm good. I'm good. Paul Gordley. Okay. Okay there, John. You know John Lennon was a tosser. Okay.

Fucking hell. He was actually a twat. Says who? He was a tit. Says who? You can't talk. Don't talk your love to death. You can't talk bad about John Lennon.

He sounded like his kid in that. Anyways. I think anyway brilliant you made it up awful thing about someone did you know John Lennon was a tosser

and badgers have degrees John Legend badgers have degrees I don't believe you actually spotted that you're a fucking mad I've done it again anyways

they're on after their success they're on working on a new song You know They need to follow up Quick and fast With a good track And they're really

In the thick of it With Deadlines No thick of it's KSI Don't do that Thick of it's KSI I don't know He's just spitting water on me Is that impressive though

No Just look like Theo Anyways So it's Pressure Deadlines I'm in the thick of it Everybody knows What's that Paul I'm in the thick of this, everybody knows. Was that Paul McCartney doing thick of it? From the pin to the king to the room.

And he's back at home, getting ready to go to the studio later on. Oh my God. Mate, can you listen? Have some respect. I listen to his facts completely. Yeah, have some respect for Jesus. He's bullshit, yeah? Who's there?

Who is it come in there son opens the door and there's this figure in robe in what in a robe I thought you said in Rome

yeah I thought you said in Rome when in Rome in a robe like looking down long hair and a beard oh my god

I promise looking down, long hair and a beard. Oh, my God. I promise. And Paul McCartney. It can't just be any nutter that wanted to look like the beard was rocking up in shit clothes. It had to be Jesus Christ.

Could have been John Lennon. Paul McCartney was like, Oh, Jesus Christ. Jesus. No, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Oh Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! No one's like, hello? Hello? And Jesus looked up and he was like, yes my son.

Oh! Yeah, yeah, he went to John Lennon and he went, yes my son. Why do you know the dialogue? Because he spoke about this. This is true. It's not like anyone in the 60s looked like a fucking hippie in Jesus Christ anyway. Must be Jesus by the way. So Jesus thinks

I mean not Jesus Paul's not thinking this is Jesus straight away he's probably thinking oh he looks a bit like Jesus

but like what does that even mean no one knows what Jesus looks like but I'm saying like yeah we do

he has like the hair the abs no one even knows he existed really yeah but you know what he's depicted

as yeah but that's like saying a fucking Santa you know what Jesus stereotyp as yeah but that's like staying in a fucking no you're santa you know what jesus stereotypically looks like yeah the answer isn't real but if he knocked up at your door you'd like santa there's also jesus outfits on amazon anyways yeah and so he's like yes my son and paul mccartney's like hello and he's like and they both do it but they will just open the door one by one and go,

hello? And he goes, it's me, Jesus. And Jesus goes to him, he's like, I am Jesus. Fuck you, now! Yeah, he does, he does.

To be fair, that's how we would introduce himself. That is true. What's up, my son? I'm Jesus. Yeah, I am Jesus. I'll tell you what, this story is watertight at the minute.

Paul McCartney literally said, he's like, well, you better come in then oh my office to come in what a fucking naive twat yeah jesus comes into his house and sits down and he's like do you want a cuppa and jesus like yes no he goes i'll have a water thanks then starts drinking wine so he starts making a cuppa and he's like chatting a bit and there's not really, we don't know what they're talking about. Oh no. And then John looks at Paul and goes, has anyone seen Ringo? He's like, it's me!

Stone Cold ET. Stone Cold ET. We have to remember though, the problem is, the problem is, this is bullshit. That's not the problem, mate. The problem is,

Paul's got to go record the album and he's like, oh yeah, none of you have that. You can't, mate. The problem is Paul's got to go record the album. And he's like... Oh, yeah. None of you have that. You can't sit and chat. Jesus. Are you about to tell me this is how, like, Hey Jude was written?

No, we're there. Hey Jude wants an interesting story. I know that as well. You don't know anything. So he's like, hey, Jesus, I'm going to go do recording, but do you want to come along? And Jesus is like...

Oh, right, yeah. Yeah, he goes, yes, my G. Also, if Jesus rocks around your house, you're not going to be like, I've got to go work. Also, where are the witnesses to this? But you invite them along. What are you about to find out?

Because he rocks up to the studio. Obviously, Ringo, John and George are there and he's like, you all right, Paul? Who's this? You all right, Paul? No, it's just Jesus oh Jesus Jesus by the way I just brought him along

what's this cracker doing as soon as he's jumping in the booth that's what happened Paul's like oh this is Jesus and he just walks past them

and the lads are like what the fuck they float past him yeah by the way side comment have you seen the wrestling thing where like they play the holy music and Jesus walks through and he starts like, okay, no, I'm fine.

You shouldn't have segued it with stuff we haven't watched. He's a strange one, isn't he? Anyways, so. Are you just telling me that Paul's walked in saying this is Jesus and all the rest of the Beatles go, oh yeah, that makes sense. They're looking like, yeah, it's a bit weird. It's almost like they took loads of like LSD. Yeah, I'm not sure.

Is he Jesus? I don't know. I mean, he looks like him. He could be. I mean, he's the story. He's like 1,900 years past where he should be,

but that's fine. So Jesus comes in the studio, he sits in the corner and he's like relatively quiet. And the lads are jamming. Blackbird singing in the dead of night Jesus is sort of like obviously it's new music

to him and he's sort of like oh is he he's going yeah he's just getting into it yeah he's used to wait Lou are you telling me

this is the first time he's come he's just come back from the dead and he's gone straight to Paul McCartney's house first thing he does he didn't say it

but like he would do so he's a fan he's just on the fucking anyone with a time machine the first thing you do you go Paul McCartney's house. First thing he does. He didn't fit. But like, he would do. So he's a fan. He's just on the fucking- Anyone with a time machine, the first thing you do, you go Paul McCartney's house. It's the same as like,

if your granddad listens to the music we listen to now, he's a bit like, no, it's not what we listened to when I was younger. And it's like, that's what Jesus was kind of-

What did Jesus listen to on the radio in 0BC, mate? I don't know, but Jesus, I don't know, like, baby's full child Jesus Christ

that's what his that was his job that was created in the 60s 80s no no that was out in like the fucking

they also didn't have radio in 0 BC they did 0 BC welcome to Jesus radio it's just with a cup and a string

the other side of the wall and it just going back now where the angels sing and Jesus just going back now we're the angels sink and jesus just going as a child he loved it though in his manger anyway so he sat he sat in the corner enjoying it and he has like that's what one of the three wise men brought fucking gold frankincense and a radio anyways they didn't get dib. though did they the lads are working on

a new song that's unreleased an unreleased song called Sunflower and they're like they're singing the song and they're like Sunflower

and they couldn't get it to work and Jesus mumbled something and they're like you know what Jesus and they're like John and they're like

they were sort of like he's fucking weird Paul's like it's okay it's Jesus but the other lads are like it's weird but they were there and they were sort of like, he's fucking weird. Yeah, he's fucking weird. Paul's like, it's okay, it's Jesus, but the other lad's like, it's weird. But they were there and they were like,

oh, how do we do this? Yellow sunflower. No way. You're going to say, well, I know you're going to say. Yeah, like submarine. No way. So they go,

some bloke in the corner dressed as Jesus Christ, who's supposed to be the son of God goes, submarine, submarine. They go,

fuck it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, You are a fucking loser. They're like, you what? And he's like, Submarine. And all the lads are like, why is he pitching in? But Paul's like, no, no.

Well, no, no, trust him, man. How would Jesus even know what a submarine is? He's new to the earth, but he just felt like it was the right thing. No, no, no, don't type in, please. No, you're going to ruin the twist. You're going to ruin the twist. Some guy cracked off his head in the corner going, Submarine. It's the right thing. No, no, no, don't type in please. No, you're gonna ruin the twist. You're gonna ruin the twist. Some guy cracked off his head in the corner going,

submarine, submarine, submarine. Submarines are coming. Look at how Jesus Christ has got lyrics. The submarines are coming for us. He's just like, so there he goes. So Paul's like, let's just give it a go. And Wingo's like, all right then.

And they go on like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yellow submarine, a yellow submarine the yellow summer jesus like my gob is gone yeah yeah and he just fizzles into atoms and disappears how would it ever have been we all live in a yellow sunflower they were just playing around and he's like yellow flowers sunflowers. Sunflowers, red,

yellow sunflower. And they were like, that's the problem. Also, you don't eat sunflowers. That's the problem they were having. They were like, Tom, Tom,

they were like, this isn't working. Where's the oil come from, buddy? Who eats sunflowers? I don't think we can live in a yellow sunflower. Anyways. It's not big enough. They all look at each other

and they're like, oh my God, that's it. Next thing we know, yellow submarine, worldwide hit. Yeah, we know about this. Worldwide hit. Yeah, we know about the worldwide hit.

And then four days later, they saw Jesus on a park bench with a fucking couple of cans. The thing, Jesus, they look back and they're like, Jesus, not there.

Paul said in the interview, never saw him again. Never saw him again. Yeah, of course. They were all on fucking, that was lots of coke. When speaking about, in lsd

um and when he was speaking about the interaction paul said he didn't want to be the one to turn jesus away in case it is him that's why he invited him into the house right he didn't want to like if it was jesus he didn't want to turn him away yeah um but as you say it is worth knowing at that time everyone was on ls LSD so it's probably just like fucking smashed yeah so all that by the way genuinely true

that guy that's type in Paul McCartney Jesus I do actually believe that he believes that yeah

yeah but I think no no you didn't get all the interviews did Jesus write no you don't need no Jesus did not write Yellow Submarine by the Beatles,

but Paul McCartney and John Lennon did. Type in, when Paul McCartney met Jesus. Why did he write Did Jesus write Yellow Submarine? Get ready.

Met, not John Lennon. Have you ever listened to the lyrics about that song, though? It is clearly later on drugs. We all live in a yellow submarine. Paul McCartney tells

Howard about the time Jesus came. We have to watch this, please. Yeah, let's watch it. No, it'll be what he's just saying. Yeah, but I want to hear it from the pig's mouth. It was Beatlemania. Some guy shows up your house who calls himself Jesus. Yeah.

And instead of calling the police, you invite him into the studio. Yeah, I'll believe this. Don't you think that's crazy? It didn't seem crazy at the time. The thing is, you know, what would happen is people would show up. Yeah, I'll believe this. Don't you think that's crazy? It didn't seem crazy at the time. The thing is, you know, what would happen is people would show up at my house. At your door. At the door.

No security. And it wasn't those days. Right. Those days, you didn't think like that, you know? Yeah. And I would just be, if I had something going on, I would say, sorry, he's not in or whatever, you know? But in this case, I didn't, and I just went out to the door and said, yeah, what do you want?

And he's sort of just a kind of bearded guy, and he said, I'm Jesus. I said, you better come in. Really? I told you! So I just started chatting to him, and I thought, you know, he's probably not Jesus.

He's probably schizophrenic. He's probably Jesus. He's probably a schizophrenic. He's probably a schizophrenic. He's probably Jesus. He's 100% in his head. Pause it a second. It could have been Jesus. He just said,

he just said, you know, Charles, it probably wasn't Jesus. Well, Charles on, but like, it might be.

Yeah. Let's play. Yeah, obviously it wasn't. So I called him in and I said, well, look,

you know, thanks for that, Tom. And if you want, you can come and hang out there. So I came in to the guys and said, well look, you know, thanks for that Tom. And if you want, you can come and hang out there. So I came in to the guys and said, look, he says he's Jesus. Now I don't know if he is or

isn't, but I'm not going to take any chances. How mad is this? Yeah, that is mental. And I said to him, don't say a word, just be Jesus. Just be Jesus. I don't wish all of him did you make up the other you have to like look across all the sources and stuff

the end there said sit in the corner and be quiet yellow sunflower did you make that up? No, Jesus went, submarine. Lewis, what the fuck goes on in your head? By the way, you would have thought that was fake and you've just seen that. I said I believed it. I said I believed that. And I believe he believed that at the time,

but it would have been just a random guy and he would have been off his fucking head. To go full circle, you two have a choice now, a very serious choice. You either have badges make tunnels or badges have degrees. Badges have degrees. You have to ask yourself, which one is the fact? used to have a choice now a very serious choice you either have badgers make tunnels or badgers have degrees badgers have degrees

you have to ask yourself which one is the fact mine's more Jesus rocked out there no no no a guy who claims no no no

he didn't say that he said Jesus well he said he was but also you did say create a hit number one song he did and there's no evidence

of him actually contributing so on one hand we have badgers do dig tunnels yes and they're very good create a hit number one song he did and there's no evidence of him actually contributing yeah there's lots of stuff you have to hunt about on one hand we have Badgers do dig tunnels yes they're very good at it

yeah but they don't have a degree that is a good point then we have on your hand Paul McCartney said he saw Jesus believe it or not he did meet a guy who claimed to be Jesus

but there's no evidence that he contributed to the music no my source is actually a book believe it or not I actually read now I'm reading about facts and I've got this really good book that has tons of

class facts and that's where I got this one from did you get it for Christmas because that's a class Christmas present it's such a good present I'm reading

I'm learning so much mad shit like for example do you know that scientifically do you know when you're in the shower sometimes and if you have a shower curtain

it might come towards you sometimes scientifically they have no idea why and they have four theories that are working but they have no clue and none of them have proved to be, they have no idea why and they have four theories that are working but they have no clue and none of them

have proved to be correct. They have no idea why that curtain comes in. What are one of the theories? Ghosts. They didn't go into it but it was only a side fact. Could be ghosts.

Right, so what I've taken from that segment is for Christmas you just got someone else to do your job for you. It's a really good story that though, isn't it?

Jesus Christ. That was pretty cool. Well done. I enjoyed that. No, I mean I enjoyed that I'm in the book I think in future we'll stick to you doing the facts I like fact first fact

it makes my fact look better yeah okay well maybe I'll do one next week fact first fact I have to pick yours I'm sorry

you've got a quiz well you have to cast your vote I've got to pick I'll vote for you sorry mate they don't actually have degrees I'd vote. I've got to pick Lewis. I'll vote for you. Sorry, mate. They don't actually have degrees.

I'd vote for Lewis as well. Don't worry. Thank you. When you said Badgers have diplomas, I thought you were going to go into a Badger who was honoured because he did submit for the uni or summit and he helped stop a flood. So, yeah.

You know what I mean? I thought there was going to be some story there, but no, Badgers dig tunnel. Just to double check, there is evidence of someone saying that that guy contributed to

yellow submarine yes well but it's all hearsay isn't it it's not video it's all

hearsay but you know this is all you hear so you promise this is nothing oh jeez a little

fat popper candy yeah now you're surprised just for me yeah

right oh is it quiz he's quickly googling a quiz no it's not Yeah, now you're surprised. Just for me. Right. Oh, is it a quiz? He's quickly Googling a quiz. No, it's not. There's 160 questions, so I'm trying to pick the best five. Oh, yeah. You've got fluffy shoes.

Thank you. Christmas present. No, I've had these for about two years. Christmas present. Yeah, it's Christmas present. Submarine. Submarine.marine Submarine Okay question number one

Buzzernoise Sub Oh good John No you have to say it in the voice though John Paul Ringo No my

Fucking Australian Ringo Paul Okay Why would you say that? Which artist Why did he say Paul? Why did he

Which artist has the most he say Paul? Why did he... Which artist has the most streams on Spotify? Sub! That was obviously me. I don't know. I think that might have been me. Don't gaslight me. You're gaslighting him.

That was obviously me. Go on. Thank you. What the fuck is going on here? Who was it? It was me! I actually think they were dead heat, but it's fine. Are you... was it? It was me. I actually think they were dead heroes.

Are you? Taylor Swift. It was Taylor Swift. All right, then you go then. He was closer to him. He's got a hero first because of the sound wave. Justin Bieber. You're both wrong. Ed Sheeran.

No, everyone back in if you want. Paul. Adele. Nope. Sub. The Beatles. No. Billie Eilish Paul

no you're going to have one more guess Beyonce no sub oh my god Paul

Paul I know who it is oh my god I'm an idiot Paul Beyonce he just said that I know who it is

Michael Jackson no it's Drake no it's Drake it is but I said that too many times oh come on. Too many guesses. He just said too many guesses.

He's actually got the most. Yeah, he does. Fair play, mate. I think he's shit, mate. Yeah, I don't listen to him. Yeah, I don't like him. I like him. I love it, love it, love it.

In what country was Elon Musk born? Paul. Ooh. Canada. Incorrect. What was the question? In what country was Elon Musk born? You should know this.

He's pretty well known. Soap. America. It wasn't. He's from... He's from... America. He's American.

Alaska. That is a state in America, you think? Zangmar on planet Z1389. Give me the point. Paul. Austria. No. Sob. Well, you're actually probably guessing.

Australia. That's fine. He's from some... United Kingdom, England. No. America? No, he's not because he can't be president. Mexico.

Sob. Sob. He is from uh switzerland he grew up in switzerland no what was it yeah one more yeah south africa oh is it really fascinating why he says you lost why why is that a well-known yeah because i think his dad had like i'll go and i think his dad's got some weird shit going on with like apartheid and that but oh Well, what's that? What's apartheid Lewis Lewis? Don't don't don't explain to surely that's minus four points that you should go back Fucking on I'm not know what What happened in South Africa? Me I don't know how anyway Not no more World War two yeah, that actually is, yeah.

Well, I'm glad if I say I don't know who Gandhi is. Maybe one below. Yeah. Are you playing or not? Very good, though. How did you fucking not know? I mean, it's not only South Africa. It can happen anywhere, really.

Yeah. That's so good. What year was the first iPhone released? Oh. 2003. Wrong. Sub. Incorrect. John. It. Sub. Incorrect.

John. It was 2007. It is. One nil to Lewis at the minute. We're three questions in. Have you done your dances? No, of course he's not.

Yeah, as he's caught up. I know you are one, I think. He is like two. Question number four. You won't know that though Try it It's stupid though Alright what is the national sport of Japan

So Paul John I'm going to come across like I'm being offensive Just say the sport Table tennis No Oh my god The answer is would come across like I'm being offensive just say the sport table tennis no oh my god the answer

is snowboarding no sumo wrestling correct I was going to say that I was going to

say that but I thought national sport when you started with this I was really worried I wasn't getting a point there

I just thought of what oh that's so obvious as well bollocks Japan even good as table tennis China are really good aren't theyocks. Japan are even good at table tennis. China are really good, aren't they?

I think Japan are pretty good. Asian countries are pretty good, aren't they? Asian countries are pretty good, yeah. What animal has the largest brain relative to body size? Sub-dolphin. Correct. How do you know that? I don't know.

I fucking was crazy that way. But he has a guess. That's class Lou fair play right final question it's double points 2-1-0 you need this otherwise you're

doing a dance mate I'm safe then yeah oh my god but if you get it right he loses it's another animal

question which animal has the longest tongue Paul John that was close I think that was you It's another animal question Which animal has the longest tongue? Paul John That was close I think that was you

Oh my god I can't think of the name That big lizard thing That dragon It was me Come on a dragon Anteater No

Yeah it is Giraffe Yes It's an anteater It's a giraffe It's a giraffe It's a giraffe It's an anteater

Well the quiz says giraffe Yeah That's wrong You lose It's an anteater You lose's a giraffe. It's a giraffe. It's got all the way down up its neck. It's a giraffe. It's an anteater. Well, the quiz says giraffe. Yeah. That's wrong. You lose. It's an anteater. You lose. I'm telling you it's a giraffe. Even if it says there,

it's what's on the page, isn't it? Anteater. It's an anteater right there, see? He didn't say that. Relative to the body type, anteater, see?

He said the longest tongue is over two feet long. It's not relative to the body. It's not relative. It's not relative. He didn't say relative. He said the longest tongue. It two feet long. It's not relative to body. Two feet long? It's not relative. He didn't say relative. He said the longest tongue. It's just the longest tongue.

It's not. Antita. Right there. Check it. Giraffe's length. No, I'm right. It's in relative to body size. Type in how...

It's two foot long. Type how big is giraffe tongue? How big is giraffe tongue? It would be a blue whale, really. Giraffe tongue... 18 inches. What's that? Less than two feet. Oh It would be a blue whale, really. Draftong. 18 inches. What's that? Less than two feet.

Oh, well, it's on the board. I technically get the point. It's on there. Are you? What? On there? I can only play the quiz. No, run it up again.

That's fucking bullshit. I'm not having that. I'm going to guess his as well. I will do a different question as that is unfair. After he said no to him, I was going to... I'm fuming. I would be as well. I would be as well. I would be as well. And I got Drake.

Yeah. I was confused why a draft's tongue would be so long. You thought it went up its neck? Yeah, like, do you know what I mean? Like, it was all the way up. Did your tongue go up your neck? Fucking man.

Are we all part of the agreement that a draft would wear to tie at the bottom? Yeah. Oh, good question. Yeah, it has to wear it. Because we don't wear it at the top of our neck. We wear it at the bottom bottom? Yeah. Oh, good question. Yeah, it has to wear it. Because we don't wear it at the top of our neck.

We wear it at the bottom of our neck. Gravity onto our shoulders. Like, where would a giraffe hold, like, where it's... It has to go around the bottom, of course it would. Yeah.

Really? Yeah, of course it would. You wouldn't put a sausage dog tie up on his chin, would you? Which doesn't really happen. It's one long neck. It is just one neck.

Right, are we ready? Sure. Are you ready? Yeah, I long neck. It's just one neck. Right, are we ready? Sure. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm listening. I'm just getting into my class. That's a good question. You know what I mean? Imagine how much,

yeah, but imagine how much fucking cloth you'd need if it was at the bottom. Yeah, you'd have to do it at the bottom, wouldn't you? Right. You'd have a shorter tie at the top. This changed question is this.

I don't think you'll get this. What is a group of pandas known as? Pull. Oh, that's a group of badgers. Oh. Because you looked at it earlier. Yeah, a cell. What are you doing?

Is he cheating? No, he's looking at dogs. I don't know what that means. Tom, a cell. Oh, I remember looking at that. No, it would use his arse, surely. I'm just saying, if a rat was to open its arse

to put pencil sharpener in, would he hold those two back or use his back feet? What are you doing? We've still got a question, mate. Is it a sell? No. What is a group of pandas known as?

You're thinking of a set, by the way. No, a group of spiders is a sell. Oh, it was C-E-L-D. None of you are going to get it. Family. No. What was it? It's what I call you,

really, and you. Oh, div? No, no. Becky Twat? No. Bold Knob? An embarrassment. Twat.

An embarrassment? That's the group of pandas? They're not called that. That's what a group of pandas are known as, aren't they? Right. I'm questioning this after the answer.

Yeah. How many hearts does an octopus have? Oh, I know this. Eight hearts. Soap. John.

Soap. Four. No. Two. No. John. Was he wrong? Yeah,

he's wrong. Yeah. One. No. Three. Yes! Yes! I knew it was two or three

so Reeve wins the quiz Lewis is second he wasn't allowed back in actually because Lewis hadn't had his go and you are last so Theo's going to do a nice little dance for us on TikTok please subscribe please subscribe

like leave a comment saying Lewis he's a fucking idiot and also where would a giraffe wear its tie at the top or the oh yeah I'm going bottom bottom

what about a cat or a dog where would they wear their trousers let's just end the pod yeah sure who wears your trousers your missus but

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