Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe - Bonus Episode: Bloopers

Episode Date: June 9, 2023

Something special for you for our first bonus episode. From one of my absolute favourite Vinyl Cafe radio shows, from 2011, this is Stuart and I in studio talking about bloopers! We laughed so hard recording this show. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

From the Apostrophe Podcast Network. Hello, I'm Jess Milton, and this is a bonus episode of Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe. Hello! Welcome to this bonus episode of the show. We're taking a break over the summer, and I hope you are too, but we've spent some time digging around the Vinyl Cafe archives, and we have a few surprises for you that we'll be releasing over the summer. Starting with today's episode. This is me and Stuart McLean in studio back in 2011 talking about bloopers. These are the Vinyl Cafe bloopers.

We're going to play some of our favorite outtakes today on the show. And to help us out, I've invited Vinyl Cafe producer Jess Milton into the studio today. Hi. Hi, Stuart. You're looking altogether too happy about this. Well, I've been waiting for this for a long time. Why am I not surprised? I had a lot of fun putting this show together.

And you haven't heard these, right? No. You haven't listened to them. No. So I think you're going to enjoy listening to them as much as I did, although probably. I haven't listened to them because I didn't even know they existed. You've been squirreling these things away privately and keeping it from me. And apparently everybody in the office knows about it except me.

There were hours and hours of tapes to go through. And I sort of hold myself up in my basement one weekend and listen to them all. And these are moments that were a lot of fun when they happened. And for a whole bunch of reasons, they didn't make it onto the original show. So it's... Well, we say the reason. They didn't make it on the original show because we polish the show, right? Whenever I make a mistake, whenever I stumble, I stop and then...

Well, that's right. I guess we should explain that. While we record the show, often record the show in front of a live audience, the show's not live to air, which means that you have a chance to redo things and you have a chance to get it right. So if I stumble, I just kind of...

Retake it. I reel it back and do it again. That's right, yeah. Sometimes because you stomp out on stage and tell me to, and sometimes because I catch myself. Yeah, well, we do two different types of shows. Some of them are recorded in front of a live audience. And in those shows, you're out there with just the audience. And so if you make a mistake, often I have to walk out on stage and stop you.

And we have a lot of fun when that happens. Today, right now, you're going to hear some clips that are from live recorded concerts. So you'll often hear me in the background telling you what you've done wrong, or sometimes you catch your own mistakes. You're also going to hear some stuff we recorded in studio. So in that situation. I'm in the studio, you're in the control room and you come over the headsets and you say, do it again, idiot. Yeah. Although not quite that kindly. So you'll hear some live stuff and some stuff in studio. And I think I'm really excited to be airing these clips because this is stuff that we all listen to and think back on.

These are the things that have become our inside joke. That's right. And it's nice to get a chance to share them with all of our friends listening on the radio. So what's the first one? The first one. Am I going to feel totally uncomfortable in this? You are very good at this. You have a wonderful sense of humor when it comes to your own mistakes.

And if you didn't, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing this. But you do. And I'm going to love every second of this. So the first clip is from Prince Edward Island. We recorded a show in Georgetown, PEI, and this is from the opening script of that show. And you made it about halfway through the script and you made a small mistake here and you caught your own mistake. So you stopped yourself and sort of explained to the audience that. This is my mea culpa. This is me trying to explain why I was redoing things? Yeah.

Like most Islanders, I might repeat myself every once in a while this evening. It's because I'm just doing a retake for the editing. It might blow a line. It's not that I've been seized by some sort of spasm. It's not that I know you don't want to hear it two or three times. Or that I lost my place. It's that I think I can do it better the second time. If you stick through the whole night,

you'll notice it'll probably happen quite often. You'll probably... Well, you'll be... You know, people will ask you what he was like down there at the playhouse last night. You say, he's a nice enough fella. He's a lot smarter on the radio, though. I heard that. Better looking on the radio, too.

Oh, that cracked me up when you said that. I don't even know what that means. I don't either, but it's very funny. Better looking on the radio. So that was, that's what we call a pickup. You, you didn't, we didn't hear the pickup, but you, well, you, you caught your own mistake and you stopped. And after you talked to the audience there, you're going to pick up where you left off. Right. So I have another example of that. This one was from the show we recorded in Minidosa. Do you remember that show? Oh yeah. Yeah. I will never forget our week in Minidosa. It's 10 days.

10 days in January. Minidosa is an hour north of Brandon. And we went there because John Sheard and I, and the whole, for a couple of years, this is way back in the early days of the Vinyl Cafe, we had collected money at concerts to buy a piano for the Minnesota concert hall because when we had gone there to do a show they didn't have a piano or they had a really old

rickety old piano and they were trying to get money and so we we donated we collected money and and you know what I should say there's a maybe we said this already but there's a on a different show but there's a in the Minidosa that community center there's a plaque on the wall thanking all of the donors and the very first name on the plaque it all of the donors and the very first name on the plaque, it's alphabetical order. And the very first name is the audiences of the Vinyl Cafe radio show, which made me feel so good when I saw it. Anyway, we went there feeling full of the milk of human kindness and we pull into our motel and we've got time to tell us. Yeah, yeah,

go ahead. We pull into our motel and there's been a fire in the motel the week before we get to town or something and half of the motel is covered in tarpaulins and we get these rooms

and then I go into my room and I open my door and I close the door behind me and you know how there's a sign on the back of the door that reads, you know,

the price of the hotel. Usually it's this, you know, this whole, the price of the hotel. Usually it's this, you know, exorbitant price that the hotel can charge for the room. If the Pope is coming to town or the Olympics are there or something. And instead of that sign on the back of my hotel door, there's a big sign that says no cleaning carcasses in the room. I remember that.

We all, we each had one in our room, and you and I were laughing, saying, what scene must the cleaning staff have come upon to necessitate that sign? How bad was it that they needed to put a sign up reminding people not to clean their carcasses? In fact, they had a carcass room. Come on. Yeah. They did not.

They said, please use our carcass cleaning room. Give me a break. Yeah, I'm not kidding. You always book us into all the great spots. Nothing but the best for us. Anyway, that was Minidosa, and it was a fabulous show. We recorded two shows there, and we used the piano, of course, that you and John and the audiences of the show had raised money for. Yeah, chipped in for.

We were, yeah. It was a fabulous show. Anyway, I have a clip from that show, and this is, you were telling the story about the Turlington's dog. Tissue. Yeah, tissue. And this part of the story, you were talking about Bert and Mary's kids, the twins, the Turlington

twins. Okay, so this is me on stage. That's right. And this is one of the bits that didn't make it to air. That's right. Here we go. The two of them were staring at the floor. The two them were staring at the floor the two twins were staring at the floor you don't need to say two when there's twins stewart okay i'll take that again did i say that out loud i love that one yeah well is, that's the guy laughing.

Yeah, that guy had, I mean, he was great. He was really into the show. But his laugh. But he was a little too into the show. Oh, he was, yeah, yeah. Actually, Greg, just in case other people missed it, can you roll it back just to that part, just to sort of the last 20 seconds or so?

See if we can hear him. You don't need to say two when there's twins, Stuart. Okay, I'll take that again. There he is. Yeah, Woody Woodpecker. Oh, that laugh. I love it. All right, if you're liking hearing this,

and man, I am. I just love hearing our voices together. know what I mean we had so much fun and you can just hear that in our voices or I can at least anyway if you're liking this as much as I am stick around because I have a few more bloopers to share with you after this break Thanks for sticking around. Let's get right back to it. This is me and Stuart in studio together about 10 years ago. The next clip I have is from Kingsville. We recorded a show in Kingsville about Point Pelee National Park.

Oh, yeah. Remember that? Oh, yeah. I'd wanted to go to Point Pelee for so long, and it was everything that I had hoped for. Point Pelee is this, is it okay to set this up? No. I mean, it has nothing to do with the clip, I'm sure. But Point Pelee, in case people missed that show, is a strip of land, this point that sticks out into Lake Erie like a landing strip.

And the birds on their migration, if they're crossing Lake Erie, it's the first thing they see. And they all land right at the tip, completely exhausted. And you can actually go right to the tip and pick them up. They're so tired. They're just panting. And later in the day, they'll move inland a bit, but they'll rest from the long, the crossing of the lake. And you can see,

if you get there on the right day, trees which will be covered in red birds. It'll look like Christmas time. Like the trees being decorated with little red birds. So it's a fabulous place. Anyway. I was so happy we got to do that show.

People ask us often, one of the questions we get probably the most is, how do you decide where you're going to perform or what shows you're going to record? And that's a good example of that. That's somewhere you always wanted to go. Yeah. And it was, you know, I'd heard you speak so passionately about it. I was delighted to be able to. Yeah, it was a good show.

So this clip is- Not nearly as lyrical, I'm sure. This clip is, the first few examples we've played here, you've sort of caught yourself and done what we call a pickup, right? You've stopped and done a retake. Well, in this one, you tried to, you made a mistake. You do what's called a pop of a P, which means it just doesn't sound nice. And you didn't hear that or maybe you thought you could get away with it

or something, so you kept reading. Well, you know what happens. Sometimes I hear those things on stage. You hear them and you think, should I, and meanwhile you're reading away. Yeah, you're too far ahead. You're galloping along in the script and you're thinking,

should I do that again or shouldn't I? I wonder if I should do that again. And then you think, yeah, I think it was okay. Or I guess I must have said, I guess it was okay. I didn't think it was okay. So you marched out.

I marched out on stage, yeah. In the middle of the show. That's right. And said, you've got to stop. Yeah. Okay. Here we go. Roll the tape, Greg.

Every day through the dark mornings of January and February when the snow and ice was piled up in all the provinces, it was Dave who beat the path from the back door to the... Pop? Yeah. Okay. Wow, we've been together for seven years.

I can read your thoughts. See, if you say peas too loud, they pop. When you're doing a show in Point Peely and talking about the park. It's easy for the odd pea to pop through. Every day through the dark mornings of January and February, when the snow and the ice was piled up in all the provinces, they'll be thinking in Vancouver, what the hell's so funny about that? I don't know, it's those people in Kingsville.

in Kingsville. I can't start until you shut up because they'll pick up the edit and I think those folks are laughing. Oh, I've been to one of those vinyl cafe shows.

I know what's going on there. Wheel appeals to be turning but the hamster seems to be dead. Come here often? So it was Dave who ended up assembling the feeder, and Dave who filled it each day. Every day through the dark mornings of January and February, when the snow and ice was piled up in all the provinces,

every day through the dark mornings of January and February, when the snow and ice was piled up in all the provinces, it was Dave who beat the path from the back door to the bird feeder on the pole in the center of his backyard. What? They're allowed to laugh. You can't discipline the audience. You're getting carried away with your power. You can discipline me, but you can't discipline them. If they feel like laughing, they paid money, they can laugh. Hey, go away. Go away.

They laughed again. If I was them, I'd sit silently through the rest of the show. Now they're going to be sitting there all night thinking, am I allowed to laugh here? I'm not reading that paragraph again. You're going to have to live with it. No, I have to do it again. Okay. My friend John Sheard,

my friend John Sheard, who plays the piano, his wife is a seamstress, and she works in in the movies and she was doing a movie with Andy Griffith with a young director who would keep having him do take after take after take and Andy would do it until he'd feel like he'd done enough and the guy would say, I think we'll do another take

Mr. Griffith and he'd look at him and he'd say live with it and leave the set but you're not Andy no I'm not Andy Griffith live with it and leave the set. No, I'm not Annie Good. I am Canada's favorite storyteller. That's right. Oh, my God. He was so good on his feet. He came alive on stage. And it makes me so happy to hear that. If you listen to one of the first podcasts in this series,

you might remember that I mentioned Stuart loved birding. Do you remember that episode? It was, Louise, what was the title of that episode so we can refer people to it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one. No Place Like Home? Okay, if you missed it, it's still available. All the podcasts, by the way, all the podcasts are available like in perpetuity, I think. Anyway, at least now they are all available so you can go listen to it. It's called There's No Place Like Home. And in that podcast, I talk about how much Stuart loved

birding. And I loved hearing that clip right now because you can hear him talk about that show. And I can really hear the warmth in his voice when he starts talking about Point Peely. It's so lovely. And if you listen to that podcast or have already, you'll hear I did not feel the same way. Anyway, this has been so much fun. So we should definitely play more of these again. Or it's been fun for me. I guess that doesn't really matter. I guess that doesn't really matter. Has it been fun for you? Will you let me know? Send me an email, will you, at vinylcafe at vinylcafe.com, or you can find us on Facebook or Instagram. Let us know, will you?

Okay, well, you're off finding out how to write to us, and just probably the easiest thing is just to go to vinylcafe.com. So you do that, and what we will do is take a quick break. But stick around, because I have another couple of surprises for you. Okay, that's it for today. But before I sign off, a quick sneak peek from our next bonus episode. So many of you have written in over the past few months and asked if we could share some of the stories, the essays about the towns that we recorded the Vinyl Cafe in. You probably remember that the opening of the show was usually about the town that we were performing in. We're going to play two for you in our next bonus episode of Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe, including this one.

Dance Land. Built back in the 1920s and pretty much the same today as it was then, a barn of a building with a snack bar and a stage. The lady at the door taking tickets is Millie, and she can explain better than me how the dance floor is built on a bed of horse tail hair to give it just the right spring, bounces about an inch and a half with a good crowd on it. You can ask her about that, and how Tommy Dorsey played here back in the day when the big bands traveled by train. And Duke Ellington and Glenn Miller.

Not to mention Buddy Holly and Elvis. That's on the next bonus episode of Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe. It will drop into your podcast feed automatically in a few weeks. And when it does, we'll be sure to tell you on Facebook, Instagram, and our website too. So don't miss it. Until then, so long for now.