Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - A Calloused Hand (w/ Frankie Quiñones, Becky Robinson, and Jenna Jiménez)

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

On an all-new episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians Frankie Quiñones, Becky Robinson, and Jenna Jiménez to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Frankie tries to get into the rhythm but it’s so awkward he can only do it for a decade, Becky is seeing a man who is "dumb hot" and just doesn’t know where to get dinner, and Jenna…this…this is a Hall Of Fame bad date story. This is a very bad date story indeed. Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Frankie Quiñones: New special Damn That’s Crazy on Hulu, FrankieQuinones.com for ticketsBecky Robinson: @beckyrobinson4 on Insta, EntitledHousewife.com, new special coming soonJenna Jiménez: @jennajewmenez on Insta, check out Pit Stop at ByTiaJenna.Com Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Bad Dates. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of Bad Dates. I am your host, Joel Kimbooster. As always, this is a show that I bring in some of my funniest friends, and they mine the trauma of their past dating history for your enjoyment. Um, fun stories, fun convos. We do it all. And just to be clear here, bad dates on our podcast can mean anything from a real date to a hookup to a relationship to a bad marriage even. Um, we run the gamut. There's just been too many episodes and not enough comics who actually go on dates. So, uh, hookups definitely count here. Thank you very much. And now let's get into it because I have a very

funny panel with me today. I'm very excited about it. Uh, we have an actor and a comedian From This Fool and What We Do in the Shadows. His new comedy special, Damn That's Crazy, directed by his friend, Ali Wong, just came out on Hulu. It's Frankie Kinyonez. Hey, what's up now? I will also say Frankie and I are also in a project together that has not yet been announced, but it was a really fun day on set with Frankie. A good hand this one.

Yes, yes, yes. We also have a comedian, writer, and actress who appeared in Wild Nout, and The Bachelor, Hello, Range. She is currently on her members-only tour, and she has a brand-new comedy special. entitled Becky Robinson. Hi, hi, hi. The titular Becky Robinson. Welcome. Why don't you leave it at The Bachelor?

I can't believe that was even on there. Well, somebody put it on there. I don't know where we got it. That is range, though. I do love that. Were you a contestant? No. We did a thing where we acted out what they were supposed to do on their date.

I see. It would have been great, though, if you were one of the eligible ladies. I remember the producer looking me up and down and being like, you could, like, he was kind of like, if you would lose a little way. Like, you could be on and I was like, really? See, for me, I think it's not a vibe match for you because those ladies, they just aren't on your level. It would have been fascinating as a different sort of a second show within the show to add you to the cast so that you could, you'd be like, hey. Hey, can I steal him away for a second? You know?

Can I take him? Oh, my God. I would tune in. I would tune in for sure. And that voice you just heard on Mike is a comedian and actress as well from shows like SWAT and sketch and release But she prefers you know her as the entrepreneur Behind her own line of deodorant called Pit Stop

It's Jenna Jimenez, everybody Welcome, welcome, welcome. Have you thought about going on Shark Tank? I have and I just am too lazy Yeah, that's fair Because I would have to really think And like really get my business up I mean right now I'm still making it in my kitchen

on my own. What sort of sets you apart from, say, a national store brand of deodorant? That it works. Now, for how long does it work, though? How many hours? Well, it depends. If you're fucking, it works a little less because your hormones change. Oh.

But for me, I put it on once a day. My partner was a professional soccer player. He put it on once a day. Whoa. Yeah, you might want to fuck him. Not me, but him. That's amazing. And it's all natural.

Yeah, what sort of brought you to the decision to make it? Oh my God, I kind of want to see it. Can you bring it out? This is, there is a video component. So let's show the merchandise, Jenna. Wait, I didn't agree to being on a camera. Yeah, clearly. Let me dig through my bag of tricks.

No one reacted to that. Oh, it's in a like a little. It's a very unique packaging. Yeah. So canned deodorant. The way that it started candy. I love the best of what you call it. Like tin, like tin fish, can't beodorant.

Where can people buy it? You can buy it at buytiagenna.com, which is B-Y-Tia-T-I-A-A-Gena.com. And they also sell it at Potluck Grocer, which is a store in Highland Park. Look at you. That I had to buy it from this morning because I didn't have any left. I couldn't even make that up. I had to go there and buy my own fucking deodorant for more than I sold it to them for. Wow.

That is cool. I mean, it's funny going back in your pocket. A little bit. You bought all their inventory? That is incredible. I'm like, hey, I'm just going to get this. She goes, aren't you the vendor of that? Just ring me up, please, thank you.

You know, for years, I thought, like many Koreans, I was born with the gene where I don't produce body odor. Yeah. And then my partner recently told me that's not the case. What? I don't know one Korean smell. Listen, it's not bad, but it is. It's crazy high.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think it might be a hormonal thing, honestly, too, that might have shifted. I don't know. Can being happy make you have body odor for the first time of your life? Sorry. And you think your stuff will help me? I know it will help you. I love it.

Okay. Moving on, this is not a show about products, although I would love it to be a show about products. I'm out now. See you later. This is a show about dating and love. And so like every week, we have a little bit of an icebreaker question that was come up with by our panel of experts here in-house at Bad Dates. A reminder, we love hearing your suggestions for icebreaker questions. So if you have one that you would like us to ask our panel of guests, email us at bad dates pod at gmail.com.

I promise someone, not me, is looking at that email every once in a while. So today's compatibility question comes to you. And this is the question, what is the text you send or receive right before you are ghosted or. ghosting someone. I will start with Jenna. Oh, dang. First of all, is this a text you send or receive? Let me preface this with, I did not start dating until I was in college, so I didn't

learn all of this stuff. So I have never ghosted anyone. Wow. What? And the closest I came to ghosting was this guy who I broke up with several times, and I'm like, bro, it's done. And then he kept texting me. And so I had to say, hey, so I'm not going to respond anymore, but I don't want to ignore

you because I know that that is really not nice. So I'm just letting you know that I'm not going to respond anymore. That is not ghosting, in fact. It's not ghosting. That is a very respectful way. And I don't think I can be ghosted because like I would I haunt. Let's just say that. I would haunt you.

I would be asking questions. There would be, I'd be like, wait, I just need to know the reason. You're showing up at work. Right. I'm showing up. Oh my God. What are you doing here? You work as serious at them?

I'm telling you order in the lobby. There's too many avenues to reach people. Becky Robinson Yeah I have a feeling I have a feeling I have a feeling I can learn

before I came in here what I feel like this is going to make so much sense Are you in this in this answer

Are you the ghoster or the ghosty I don't I don't know if I have been ghosted I probably am just

too ADD to clock it but I recently a guy was like I just want to like I want to be your best

friend and I was like no No. No. Do you remember that little John album from back in the day? And Chris Rock is on it. And he's like, I want to be best friends?

I want to be the friend that's fucking you in the ass. I always come through my head when someone I was like, you want to be best friends. And I guess I'm back. How early. To the guy. He was friends. I want to be bending you over. How many dates in was this, do you think?

This was like a few months, multiple trips to see each other. It's just, yeah. And then you haven't really spoken since. Well, so I kind of, I go, I'm quick to, like, block on everything. Like, they don't get access to my story. Yeah, no. That's great. They don't get to see you in that golf cart.

Exactly. Yeah. You just me ride around two wheels. For me. Exactly. And then I, and then I circle back. I'm like, you doing okay, though? And then.

That's the ghost tag. It's the same thing. It's like, they keep calling and they keep. And it's like, you've already set the, or you tried to set the bell. He's like, hey, this is over. I'm not into it. And like, keep calling every day that's happened with the last two guys.

Well, he wants to be your best friend. Well, I don't, I don't, my fucking game in the ad. Yeah. Yeah. You don't need that. That is always my thing, too, is like, in most of the situations where, uh, you know, a casual relationship has ended and they're like, but I still want to be friends. I'm usually like, that is not the vibe.

Like, I have so many of those already and I, yeah, the position has been filled. When people say that, I'm like, Do you know how many friends I've been trying to get rid of? Yeah. This is, no. I don't have space for another gay Matt from Cleveland who's moved to the big city escaping his hometown. You know, like I just, the quota, it's just, there's too many already. I've let too many in that I shouldn't have.

All right, Frankie, you came in, you did not know about the question. You've had some time. You've heard their answers. Yeah, I know. I just blacked out. So in your case, are you the ghoster or the ghosty in this? situation i don't know i was kind of i've had like what you said happen where like a girl's like yo like yeah look forward to being friends getting like friends on and i'm like i'm good and

they'll hit me up like the next week like oh yeah like come to this thing and i'm like i'm good like that but then the only time really like i ghosted this girl we we kicked it like three times but she would leave like trash by the trash can like not put it in the trash down oh wow it was a weirdest thing oh me oh wow the restroom one i was like okay that one's low it'll be trash right there and I'm like, just put it in there. Yes, I have my house. That's kind of unconscionable. Like, I, there's nothing, I think, I hate more in this world than litterers.

And that is a form of littering just in your actual house. Oh, my God. It was weird. Did you ever see her place? I didn't. Yeah. I bet. Or what that looked like.

Was she blind? No. Okay. Then there's no. That would have changed everything. I was like, yeah, she's like. I was really trying to like shockerness and that this could have happened. Yeah, yeah.

Bad beats. And now we're going to transition right into your story, starting with the man who went last, Frankie Kenyonis. Frankie, what is your relationship status right now? Yeah, I'm single, man. You are single. I kind of was like not trying to date for a while. After that trash cans. Yeah, she traumatized.

After cleaned up all the trash. You said that's enough. Yeah, yeah, I recently tried to start. When was the last time you were in a relationship? Last year. Last year. Okay. So it hasn't been that long.

So you made it sound like you've been celibate like a month for, like a year. For like 30 years. Yeah. Yeah. Um, that's, that's interesting. And now are you, so other than in your, you're now entering into a time where you're trying to date more. I mean, yeah, I'm not really, I'm not really, are you a dater sort of person? I don't like dating.

It's really uncomfortable for me, but, you know, you know, I like to, you know, I like to, you I'd like to be in the comfort zone. Putting myself out there more down to whatever. How long was your longest relationship? Four years. Four years? Okay. So you're good at that part.

It's just the beginning stages that you're kind of like not into. Yeah, yeah. Just going through all that shit. You know, like, what do you like? How many siblings do you have? Learning about a person sucks. But it's like, you know, obviously when you vibe with somebody, you invite with somebody. No, I think like me and my partner who have been together four and a half years,

we definitely jumped in like it felt very familiar right away and so I didn't because I'm like you I don't like dating for the sake of dating like I hate going on first dates blind dates app dates like all of it it didn't feel like small talk yeah small talk I hate it but like we were jumping in like with the deep stuff I was like my dad just died so buckle up um and he was and he was he was game so I think that you're that's what you should be looking for right now is someone that you can go to level three with from the jump that's good advice yeah where it doesn't feel like that yeah yeah i feel like i'm yeah too old for all that shit but and then i get kind of picky too and i try not to be picky because i don't like hey you know how old are you like 72 you look great yeah yeah 58 um not just kidding i'm in my 40s old yeah oh i wouldn't guess that either yeah oh thank you um so where in your 40 year history does um this story take place. I don't know, maybe like 10, 15 years ago. Oh, wow.

Okay. So it's from the archives. Yeah, yeah, it's from the archives, but it stands out. It's just interesting. Let's get into it. Yeah, so I had been talking to this girl for a while. There was definitely some sexual chemistry. We were like building up.

And I was like, you know, I thought she was real sexy and all that stuff. And then finally we're like, all right, we were planning to hang out. And then I was like, where did you meet this girl? And then at school. At school, okay. And then so, but, you know, we stayed in touch and then we started kind of hanging out. But then with friends, oh, and then we finally planned a date. And then I was like, y'all, do you like dancing?

She was like, I love dancing. So I'm like, oh, hell yeah, you know, because I like to get it, you know. So I was like, I found this reggae night. And then we go and then, well, we went to dinner. Dinner was cool. She was asking a lot of, like, questions and like just stating facts. So I nicknamed her Snap. Give us an example, please.

Like, did you know that, da-da-da? And I'm like, oh, okay. Did you know that the whale? And I don't know if she was trying to show that. She's like, I'm smart. Not really giving you an option for an answer other than yes or no. Like, that's the kind of question that's not really a question. That's so good.

So I was like, oh, snapocat. She had a hundred of them in her purse. Yeah. Did you know? It's wild of pre-Tick-Tick-Tac facts. Yeah. Right, right. She's been tossed around.

Yeah. Where did this come from. Yeah. She must have been nervous. She had a successful. You have to. Yeah, it sounds like she's very prepared. Maybe it was that.

Yeah. But you know, whatever. It was fun though. But then we go dancing. And she said she loved dancing. And I'm like, cool. I went out there, the dance forest crying. I get out there and I start doing it.

And she gets out there and, like, I have never seen a human being have, like, not have rhythm as bad as she did not have rhythm. I'm talking like, damn, homie. Oh, no. And at first I thought she was playing around. I was like, ha. Ha-ha. She was literally just, She was literally just, like, rocking back and forth.

You know, she, like, went on the dance form or just like, well, and the thing. Like Drew Barrymore and never been kissed where she's so bad. Oh, is it? Yeah. I feel like, last night. That's fine. From what you described, from what you describe, she's like a 9, 10 range, right? Yeah, definitely like, definitely like an 8.

Okay. Sorry. Sorry to this woman. Hope you're not listening. I know. I'm afraid she doesn't watch her. Probably will. This eight.

Like, to me, it sounds like a classic case of too hot to get a note. Like, I think, I bet there have been men in her life where, like, baby, you are such a good dancer. And, like, feeding her that. Because to say I love dancing and then to simply not be able to, like, it is like the, it's like that episode of 30-year-arch with John Hammere, where she's in the hot bubble, you know? And, like, everything she does is flawless. But, dude, she, later, it wasn't that night, but I want to. say a couple weeks there she admitted it to me she was just like I can't dance

I'm like but you said you love that but I love it oh wow so everything I said I gesture it was so uncomfortable that even though it was like circles of other people in the club and dance were like having laughing amongst themselves like oh shit look at that you know just like and I was just like did you have that thing when you're embarrassed for her

oh that was the most uncomfortable part I was just embarrassed for her why didn't you why didn't you suggest leaving and going to a we did we left Or like guiding support. I mean, we were there for a while though. I was still like, I was still like, was that? Or like guided her? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. You just like suffocated her. Yeah. I'm just out of here. That can actually like the partner dance of it all or like grinding or whatever. That often, unfortunately, in my experience, only makes it more pronounced the problem. You know, like when you have rhythm and the person you're trying to partner dance. Oh, you mean you try to freak. Or freak partner dance of any kind, slow dance, whatever. Like or just like, you know, getting up next to somebody and dancing.

Bumping knees. Exactly that. Exactly that. It's like, why are you going criss-cross right now? That's not a way people dance. And, yeah, so I understand that. And so she admitted to you two weeks later. So she wasn't hot enough to be lied to. In fact, she was just an eight. An eight who lies. And, um, but that's why she still loves it, though. All she said was, I love dancing. She didn't say she was good at it. Yeah. No, that's true. She was loving it. I love having no rhythm. Were you guys having cocktails? Yeah. Hot people sometimes don't feel the need to get better. No. I've always said about LA, you will have sex with the hottest person you've ever seen, but it will be some of the worst sex you've ever had because they don't get notes.

And again, it doesn't sound like that was the case with her. Because she's an eight. Yeah, she was just an eight. You know, statistically very high, but still a beat. Yeah, so, you know, we hooked up and I wake up in the morning, which I got it before her. and she's laying with her back to me but no covers

on her asses out oh no yeah what she poop what no she she didn't poop but she started

yeah she started she started busing you know busting ass farting oh yeah in her sleep in her sleep though

yeah she wasn't away but they weren't like rippers they were little like cuties you know like rippers is this the the sole reason you ended things with her

did she Did it make you? No, no, no. We actually ended up hooking up with each other for a long time. Oh, well. Like, over 10 years. And did you find that she had rhythm? What? Like, on and off.

On and off. Because check it out, homie. I was like. We're checking it out. And it's not checking out. Because I was like, fuck, she can't dance. Like, you know, it's not going to go good in the bedroom or whatever. That was going to be my question.

And it was like, probably the best sex I've ever had to this date. That's why we stayed hooking up for over 10 years. Wow. So I was like. Oh, my. I was not expecting. Maybe it was just the reggae music. Maybe there's like a certain, maybe she has an internal rhythm.

Yeah, it was hip-hop, reggae. Was she even, what's that? No. Oh. She's Latina. Oh. I don't want to say your exact music. No, no, no, no.

We don't have to get a granular, okay? I don't, you didn't know what that's for us. She's from. Just don't say anything. Yeah, all her rhythm translated another thing. Honestly, no matter what music it is, she just. doesn't have really. If you have to have one or the other, that's the one you want.

I know, but I was just so, because you know it's like a thing that, oh, they dance good, like, yeah, they cry, fuck good. But yeah. I know. Everyone thinks that fuck good. I was shattering stereotypes. Would it go south if you put music on whilst having sex? Would she get mad at it? Oh, my God. The sex playlist is just white noise.

You're fucking is like, baby. It's really bad. It's really bad. Thank God. This is a partly visual medium now. We can see what Jenna just did with her body. Bad dates. Becky Robinson,

we're turning now to you. Same question. Are you in a relationship right now? No. You're not. And when was the last time you were in a relationship, would you say? Like a real,

live-together relationship? It's been two years. Two years. Okay, and how long was that? Three years. Three years. Okay. It was my only

gay relationship. Oh, wow. Yeah. Female, female, female. It seemed like it worked out pretty well for you. It was good for a while and it was horrific.

She was great. It's just, you know. The relationship was a horror. But she was nice. Yeah. Yes, she's a very good person. Yeah. Oh, and that is a nightmare.

That is a nightmare. That was the hardest part about it. I was like, I'm awful. So Becky, where in your timeline does this story take? place. Fairly recent. Oh. Okay.

This is going to be, I feel like, so, you know, I'm, I'm an open book. How many listeners to you? I don't know. I say too many things when I step into this serious building. Listen, we can cut anything you want. It's okay. But we have a hefty amount of listeners. Great, great, great.

Okay. Well, so I've been on tour for like nonstop four years straight. Yeah, I was going to say. I'm dying. you know and um every time i get on instagram i'm like another tour poster from becky for next year's tour i'm like i don't have anything else to say that's amazing though but every now and then i like i hit this like just point where i'm like i need i need tlc like i need something i just need to hook up with someone and it's like yeah very rare but it happened we were just in norcow and i was like

10 minutes before going to sound check and i like got on bumble swiped right and i was just like you're hot like sometimes you're like hey how's it gone i was just like hey you're hot And then this guy responded, he was like, yeah, I would bust quick. And I was like, ha-ha, like, what are you doing tonight? What? Wait, that turned you on? I was like, I'm looking for one, there's nothing you're putting out here. He jumped immediately to I would bust quick.

Yeah, so I was like, kind of funny. Huh. I think maybe another title of F, I would bust quick. It's probably going to make, like, the story be like, you should have known with this guy. Yeah, it sounds like he's selling himself, he's selling what you're going to get pretty clearly up top. And I only wanted one thing. I was just like, I just wanted like booty call, like come over. We had two shows.

Like there were country club shows. So I was in my wig for like eight hours as entitled housewife. I tore that thing off and I was like, get over here. Come and bust quick. Yeah, yeah. I've just removed my ok. You better bus quick like you said. So he comes over.

We had this like amazing, like we just stay up all night, like laugh. Okay, so it wasn't so quick. No. This is, I like this. Yeah, we get sex like four or five times. Oh, my God. Did he come every time? Yeah.

That's amazing. He must have been in, like, his 20s. I'm going to buss quick, but I'm going to bus like five times. The early 30s. Okay. But there's a thing with, so I'm like, yeah, this guy is, he's like dumb hot, like, strong. Oh, shit. He's like a fireman-turned helicopter medic.

Oh, wow. And, like, I get turned on. Just buff and I, like, had just coming off of, like, dating like the sweetest girl. I was like, I just want to be tossed around like by a calloused hand. And so that night happens and we like kept talking and I was playing like Tahoe the next night

and he was in between, he lives in between, said he's had like a place in both. So he was like, oh, calm and like, I'll invite my friends. We were like, great. So we spend another night together like dancing. It's fun. And then I invite him out to Utah for like a show night.

And it was like the last show I had to practice before my stand-up special that I just shot. and I invited him out probably stupid to do that given what I needed to do for that show but he comes out and we were driving over Wait back up a little bit What did you have to do in the show

That made this a bad idea Practice the material It was the last show before you're taping Yeah he had seen it The character stuff And this was like you doing stand-up though Yeah it's the show is half me Half the character

Got it with like a sketch in between And I just I hadn't laid it down way I wanted to up until that show. So I was like, this is the last chance I get to workshop this before we tape. And then I invited him when I was like, I could make me a little nervous because he's hot. So we're driving over to Salt Lake City from I forget what town, somewhere really random in Utah. And we're getting in at 2 a.m. He got to the hotel at like 8 p.m.

And I booked him a flight. I paid like $1,000. I know it's stupid, but he was hot. And I was like, I just have points. You have to get that pussy wet. It's okay. He shows up and he's like, I forgot a phone charger. Do you know where I can get a phone charge?

It starts, like, the second he lands. And he's like, where can I get dinner? And, like, we had a show that night. We had all that. He's acting like a toddler. And he's in the hotel that I had booked. And he's like, where do I get dinner? What am I supposed to do?

Like, I don't have a charger. My phone's going to die. I'm like, you're at a hotel. Like, just to figure it out. We're driving over. We have the show. And we're like, we're heading out there. And he's like, do you think you could stop at a gas station on your way out and get some rhino pills?

What? Like, what are the fucking? Rino pills. He's like, they're like, they're dick pills. Like from the gas and you can't even get them from like a shell station It has to be like one off That's like they work

They do Yeah really I think that's psychosomatic I'm certain that sucks Yeah that's what he had That night that he came over I don't know I feel like it's psychosomatic

I've had guys who have asked for dick pills before And I don't have one on hand Like a Viagra And I'll go back and get them an ibuprofen And tell them that it is And it works like a goddamn charm Every time It's so mental

Wow And so I do think, I can't imagine. There's just sugar in the pills? Yeah, that it's much of anything. I just think it gives guys like a sense of like, oh, I have taken the rhino pill now. And like, I can. Yeah. But who knows?

I mean, he kind of was like, I just jerked off too much in my life. That's why I have issues. Like, okay. Well, that's a real. Oh, wait. Oh, he said that? Yeah. I was like, why do you need these pills?

Have you tried to have sex with someone in their 20s recently? It requires like a gorilla grip. They've been jerking it since they. They were, you know, 11 years old because they all have cell phones with porn right at their fingertips. Yeah, everything's out of commission. It's true. The grip. Mm-hmm.

Like, you need. I don't remember that when I was. Yeah, because they've been gripping. They're so in order to have, like, penetrative sex, your pussy obviously is not gripping like that. And so it becomes really hard. Yeah. That's why I feel like I have like, some people are like, Kegel wants to like, I'm like, I feel like I'm holding it into Kegel the whole time. Yeah.

Because they need that grip. Yeah. Sometimes I just like. Oh, like, grip before it goes in. I'm like, that's the only grip you're getting. Yeah. All right. You got to.

The kids are not going to be all right. The kids need a gorilla grip. Yeah. Okay, so he's useless and annoying at this point. And he, like, had meandered down to the bar and, like, he was able to, like, find cocktails. So he got, like, pretty drunk. So by the time we show up, he's, like, pretty fucked up. Because he didn't have dinner.

He didn't know where to go to dinner. He didn't know how to get dinner. But he's like, yeah, at a hotel bar, I'm beers. Like, oh, my God. Like, if he's a beer. for a restaurant in there. He's just, you know, so then I wasn't drinking at the time, but I was like, I can't take this on sober. So I ripped like a whole setiva pre-roll. And truly was one of the hardest. Before you go on. Wait before your show? No, before being in the hotel room with him.

Got it, got it, got it. Literally the hardest blowjob I've ever given in my life. All saliva left the building. Like, it was... Oh, yeah. Cotton mouth is not conducive. As I smoke, like, my, even my eyes, I think I, like, blinked my contact lenses out onto his dick, like, and I just, like, it was so miserable and, like, I feel like I had, like, chapp lip on chapped dick, and I'm like, this is so bad, you know, yeah, just, like, trying to keep the cracks of my, my lips wet. You look like the joker afterwards because the corners of your mouth are so cracked and dry. Yeah, hawk-toeing absolute corduroy, and so then we have, like, regular. switch over to like regular sex because I'm like this is just not working you know I'm mortified and

I bet you were dry too after his fucking antics of like gonna get a meal I know he's crazy so I make it work you know and for the sex part and then when he finishes he asks me if I can

kegel it out what? He goes can you kegel it out of the nut? Oh so he goes he got his penis out oh I'm like so not only did I just do everything. Yeah, I thought the load.

He can't pull out. He wants to feel that as he comes out. Wow. But I'm, you know, I feel like, can you make me come? Can you kegle it out? I know.

And then he was like, don't use your vibrator that's going to ruin everything. Well, maybe you shouldn't jerk off so much. You're clearly not doing anything. This guy was such an asshole. I mean, he ruined everything. He was such a dick. And so, you know, I'm kind of a self-proclaimed

Pilates Queen, so I was kind of like honored to be if I could kegle it out. So I was like, I was like, certainly. So I like, and I'm on my back with my legs are a little bit, you know, they're up. And I go,

and you guys, the wetest, the wettest fart. Oh. Oh, no. This is a theme. He flew off of me. He's like in the corner of the room.

He's like, was out of queen for a fart? I'm serious, dude. Was that a fucking queen for a fart? I'm like, like, it was a queen. There's a turd on the bed. No.

There was. And even if there was You just blew me out You just dropped the rack to get me out here I'm eating the farts whatever I'm like you will do whatever I ask And then I get up like walks He was such an asshole and he's like you're fat

But like not fat also No What? No Hell no This dude is fucking The other thing he did The other thing he did is goes What's that on your on your ass?

You know I'm a very physical comedian I have a hernia and a constant hemorrhoid And he goes He goes, it looks like my gum. What is that? He goes, is that a hemorrhoid? I go, yeah, and he goes, are those contagious? It's like, I'm going to kill you.

I'm going to kill you. This is horrific. It was so bad, dude. And he was flown out there like a high-class prostitute. Exactly. And this is how he acts. And then the next day, we had like a couple hours to hang out before the show. And he was like, I'm going to go meet my friend for drinks.

I was like, he don't. He's watching this. He's trash. He's still calling. He texts me all the time. Well, you did pay for a flight to Utah for him, so I'm sure he's trying to figure out how he can milk you for more cash.

He still wants to know if you have a charge where he can borrow. Yeah, yeah. It's like the lamest dude. So Becky Robinson, what do you think you learned from this experience that you're carrying with you onto your next thing?

Don't kegle it out even though you're confident about it. Maybe that like hot, dumb isn't, or like dumb hot is not. You're going to be running back into the arms woman any day now. Damn right. Yeah.

Bad dates. So Jenna Jimenez, you mentioned a boyfriend earlier, a very hot-sounding soccer player boyfriend. Is that, are you currently in that relationship? Yeah, we've been together for about 12 years. Oh, shit.

Yeah, but there's a lot. There was like a four-year. middle school sweethearts because Jenna you look at roughly 24 years old I'm 38 in two months shut up oh my god wait so am I and you never know I've never had Botox because I'm afraid

that it's like a toxin and it's gonna be I have never had Botox yet either Are you scared of it? I am scared of it because I mean Why would you don't need it? Yeah I'm afraid of it It's supposed to be prevented though yeah oh yeah yeah so okay So 12 years, you've been in this relationship. That's incredible. And I'm only 24.

Yeah. So, yeah, 12 years. There was a lot of open relationship years, though, many, many, many. Oh, well, that still counts. Yeah. I just didn't want you to think I was only fucking one person for 12 years. Oh, God, no. I would never make that assumption about you.

Oh, God, no. So where in your history does this story take place? Almost 19 years ago. Oh, my goodness. Nice. Because this is a thing. I know I was telling you earlier, but I did not even make out with anyone until I was in college.

Wow. I was like way too busy being in show choir and like choir. And let's just say there probably weren't a lot of guys in those activities that were eligible for you to be kissing. No. And they were better than guys who I could kiss. So it's like, what else do I need? I was doing Irish. dancing. I was at, like, I had so much going on that when, like, guys would have, and also my

ADHD, I did not understand when someone liked me. What? Huh? But, um, what was the question you asked? Where are your time? Where am I? Yeah, yeah. Okay, like, yeah, 19 years ago, um, this is after my first relationship that I ever had, which was in college, it lasted two years. And this was after we broke up. Let's hear it. Okay. Question about. about names? It's sort of up to you. We can bleep it. Okay.

I'm going to tell you his name once because it's very important. Okay. Oh, okay. And do you want us to bleep it or do you? Yes. Okay. So, let's note that down. Bleep the one instance of that.

Yeah. So his name is. Oh, you're going full night. Wow. Wow. Yeah, we definitely. You needed that. It's a full doorbell moment.

But that is, I will say, it's really sad for the listeners at home that they don't get to hear that name because it is, it's very, provocative of the kind of person that this man is. Yes, it's like, I don't even need to tell my story, you know. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm, I got out of my first relationship, right? And I'm thinking like, all right, let's do it again.

One of my best friends, she is from Georgia. I'm from Chicago, but this is a story for another time. But I was on a reality TV show as a kid at 14. Kid Nation? No, it was like for, it was like survivor for kids. It was called Endurance. Cool. I want.

Oh, what? Sounds fun. We'll talk about it later. but I met her there. So I would visit her very often to Elberton, Georgia, this little small town. Okay, she had a farm. And I started seeing that she was tagging this guy on Instagram, the name I said before, and I'm like, he is really hot.

And obviously, like, no one I've ever dated or seen because I live in Chicago. Right. And I'm like, who is this army hot-ass redneck? Can we say redneck? Or am I canceled? Yeah, no, no, you can say redneck. I think that's up to Becky. Are we allowed?

Yeah, you can run with that one. I'm a rat snack woman. So. Play us, bro. Yes. So I'm like, I got to meet him. What? And she's like, all right, well, like, the next time we come out here, I'll set it up.

So I plan a trip. And I go visit her. And she has this meat, like, at a waffle house or like a whatever, like Cracker Braille or something. He comes right in. He's looking as military as ever. like, oh, my God, I love it. And she's sitting across the table for me. He's getting handsy already.

And because I've only had, like, one pair of hands on me, I'm like, yes. Okay. Enthusiastic. Yeah, I'd only had sex with one person. Only made out with one person. I'm like, let's go. So I get this text from her. And, you know, she's texting for a long time because it's like ABC, you know, the phone's

back then. She had to go through all the courtes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, hey, I'm just telling you this because I'm just telling you this because I love you, but I have to let you know that I think he has chlamydia because my friend just told me that she got it from him a couple of weeks. And I'm like, what? She goes, so I think he has chlamydia and I just want to tell you because I love you.

So be safe. I love the dialect work you're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a spot on. I am transported. I am in the waffle house. Oh, gosh, thanks. Because I like can't tell a story without doing the person's voice.

It's really good. So he. So I go, like, okay, I think about it. I'm like, you know what? You're right. I'm going to be safe. And this is an STI, not an STD, so I'm good. And I go, we just won't fuck.

So she leaves. We're on our own. And he's like, all right, so I still got a clock into work because he's in the military. So we got a drive to Savannah, Georgia, which is like two, two, three hours away. So I hop in his F-250, 3-50, who knows what. I'm an adventurous, right? I'm from Chicago. second location with a stranger three hours away a military base even yeah straight from the waffa house but like straight from the waffle house but i'm like she knows him they've been friends yeah sure he's been vetted he's been vetted yeah so we're going we'll listen to his country music i'm like yehow we're down down we pull up to the base and he goes all right so before we pull in i just need to let you know you need to duck before we go in because we're not allowed to have anyone here on base what and that's something you ask for permission

Like, if you're okay with before you make the trip, actually. So this is not a red flag to me somehow. So I'm just like, and I duck. And I'm like, all right, dope. This is so cool. So we go, we go to his barracks. We go up in there. There's no one there because they're all at work.

Doing military, yeah. Right. He goes, all right. So if anyone comes in, I just want to let you know. I'm going to get ready for work. But if anyone knocks, you cannot open the door. because we're not allowed to have anyone here and I could get

and I go That's a lot to put on you Right I'm like Okay All right So I go and sit down On one of his like Barely twin beds

With the other twin beds That are just lined up there His cot His cot Yeah his cot Let's call it is And let's be real At 19

That is still a period of your life Where you think being someone's secret It makes you special I was 21 But Same area of like 212 that was 32

and he turns to me and he goes he's like washing his hands like I swear to God your skin is so I just love the color so oh whoa and he goes

it's like brown and like carmely honey and he goes and you know what you look just like Jessica Alba and I not to be on his side

but I can see it I can see it okay but I had long hair at the time And I'm going like, no, I don't, but instead what comes out is like, thank you. Thank you. And he has a poster on his wall that's a life-size poster of Jessica Alba in a bikini. Oh, shit.

Was it that fur bikini? Yeah, probably. So I'm looking at her and going like, I don't, but okay. We sit down, he's getting a little handsy, we start making out. He goes on top of me, and I lean back and look up. and there is a ginormous confederate flag on the ceiling. No.

And I'm at this point in my life where I'm going, I know that's fucked, but I'm going to be so open-minded that I made myself close-minded. And I go, but I say something, I go like, oh, well, that's, well, that's like not really cool. And he's like, well, actually, it's like a huge part of history and I have pride in it because, you know,

there's this book on Robert E. Lee, and you should get it. So I'm going like, I'm going to be open-minded, yeah. He goes to work, whatever. We have a nice weekend. He drives me back to the Waffle House. You're hiding in his barracks for the entire weekend. While he's at work?

Under the watchful eye of Jessica Alba. And a Confederate flag? I'm like finding things to do. I'm looking around. Reading up on Robert Ely. Yeah. So we go. We have a nice weekend in and out of the barracks.

As if the actual flag was not a third red flag. this continues. I go, I fly back home. This continues for like another six months. Okay. We're talking like every single day. We are Skyping because I didn't have an iPhone. We're Skyping. We're text messaging. Like we have this relationship. Right. And fast forward to, I'm a Thespian. I'm in school. I'm at rehearsal, my senior year of college. And I get a text and he's like, hey, I'm going to be in Missouri. I don't know how close that is to you. Um, tonight. Tonight. Yeah. So I go look up. I go MapQuest, Missouri, about four and a half hours. Yeah.

I'm like, I'll see you there. I go back home. I pack up my stuff. I get out of rehearsal at 9 p.m. I'm like, I'm ready. I go get to him at like 1.30. We make out in his hotel room. And because I'm like, he might still have chlamydia.

I don't know. And I'm not going to figure that out. right now. I need to see his papers because I was always like asking for papers, especially if it's asymptomatic. He does not seem like the person from your story, um, that would take care of it. Yeah. No. I always made people show me their papers, which is probably why I didn't have much sex. And he, uh, let's be clear. I want to be very clear. She's talking about STI results, uh, sexual health results. She is not stopping her partners and asking for us to see their passports and citizens.

Thank you. Thank you for that. I appreciate that. My dad's why I'm here, so I'm not checking for anyone's papers. So, okay, we're making out, and I'm doing the best job, like, fucking his mouth as I can

because we can't actually fuck. And this is important for later because there's no air getting in, right? Now let's fast forward. I get home. I leave, like, two and a half hours later. That night, he texted me like, hey, are you sick?

Or no, he called me. hey, are you sick? Because I'm, I'm like not doing well. I have a fever. I have a sore throat. And I think you got me sick. Oh, my. And I go, no. La la la. Like, I don't think I did because I just came from rehearsal and I'm doing just fine. So I didn't get you sick. He goes, well, they're giving me penicillin just in case. Okay, whatever. Fast forward to the next day. I am having fevers. My throat is sore. One of my friends saves my life and has to drive me back to Chicago to my parents. I'm having fevers now that are passed 106. I'm having seizures. I am. We're talking brain damage. I'm passing out.

They admit me into the hospital. Oh my God. They can't figure out what's wrong. They have an infectious disease doctor come. They find that I have an abscess that has gone from the base of my neck to the base of my brain. Oh my God. And they can't figure out what the bacteria is. Now I'm septic and basically almost dead. They can't get my heart right above 32. They, like, try and sit, sit me up, stand me up to walk. I'm, like, dying. And they're trying to figure it out.

I go into the ICU now. And this infectious disease doctor comes, and she's like, okay, I need everyone out. She asked me, like, a hundred questions. She's like, and have you, like, have you eaten anything lately? Has there been, like, any sharp, like, fish bone or chip that's gotten into your mouth that could have made? And she goes, did you? make out with anyone, although that's not very likely because it's an anaerobic bacteria, what we found. And so any oxygen would have killed it. No! And I go, um, yes, I was. And actually, he was sick. And she goes,

you have fusobacterium necroform. Necro, meaning it's just killing you by killing all of your cells. And the only drug to stop it is guess what? Penicillin. Anything in the penicillin family. so they do that they do surgery I have like a tube coming out of my neck I have to take off of my senior year of college I the inside of my left eye has melted because of the high fevers I'm having anyhow I almost die right I call this guy for a little bit of a little bit of comfort and I and he picks up the phone and I hear just like all this pounding and screaming and like hello I'm like still in the hospital and this girl's like Hello? Who's this? And I was like, this is Jenna, who's this? She's like, well, this is . And I just want to let you know that I've been dating for like nine months already. And he's outside of the – he's outside of his truck. I locked him outside of his truck.

And I got his car. He's banging on the window right now trying to get back in. And he is mine. And I just go, like, you can have him. Yeah, you can have him. What a prize. It's, I'm good. You can have him.

So that was that. Oh, my God. Wow. I got to say, rarely am I rendered speechless on this show. I've been doing it for what, close to two years at this point. I've heard a lot of stories, but Jenna Jimenez, that ranks in the Hall of Fame of Bad Dates. Rarely do we have life or death stakes involved in the stories. And yours really is up there.

I got to say, Hall of Fame, Bad Dates. You guys, this has been an incredible episode. I hate to end it, but we have to, we all have places to be. Frankie Cignonas where can people find you and what are you doing these days? Oh, please just watch my Hulu special, damn that's crazy.

Yeah, that's on Hulu and then, yeah, tour dates Frankie Kignonas.com. Great? Yeah. Check him out. He's very funny if you couldn't already tell.

Becky Robinson, which of your 18 tours are you gonna, can people find you on right now? Well, my new special is coming out October 24th. Oh, amazing. And all my tour dates

are at entitled housewife. Congratulations on the special If you're, what's your Instagram handle again? For, or TikTok Instagram? The Becky Robinson show. The Becky Robinson show. If you're not watching Becky Robinson on the TikTok or the Instagram Reels,

you're missing out. It's just a pure delight. And I've been a fan for years. So, so happy to see all your success. And now finally, new friend Jenna Jimenez. Where can the people find you? What are you doing these days? At Jenna Jumenez.

I'm not racist. I'm also Jewish. Please hire me for acting work. Thank you. That's where you can find me. And we can find pit stop at bytiajena.com. Yes. And that's B-Y-Jena.

A Tia-Jena. Anyways, yes, check all of that stuff out. Hire Jenna. She is very wise. Very wise. Very talented. I've been Joel Kimbooster. That's another episode of Bad Dates in the Can.

If you liked what you heard today, please give us a rating and review. Wherever you're listening to this, it helps other people, Find the podcast. If you have thoughts, questions, advice, whatever, and you want to get in contact, you can email us at baddatespot at gmail.com. And until next time, that's the show. Thank you so much for listening. Bye-bye. Bad Dates is a production of smartless media created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited, and engineered by Devin Torrey Bryant. Produced by Anne Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana. Executive producers are

Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Baitman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Music by Kushi and Evan Schleller. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265 3283. That's 984-265 32-83. That's all for this week. We will be back

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