Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - A Good Amount Of Threesomes (w/ David Gborie, Natalie Cuomo, and Hunter Harris)

Episode Date: July 21, 2025

On a new episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians David Gborie & Natalie Cuomo, and writer/podcaster Hunter Harris to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. David digs through the trash but still leaves with a few ounces of gold, Natalie becomes trapped as the Uber aunt to a sister wife, and Hunter goes on a date where she just has to sit there and take slam after slam after slam. If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.  Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2David Gborie: @coolguyjokes87 on Insta, podcast My Momma Told Me with Langston KermanNatalie Cuomo: @nataliecuomo_ on Insta, @nataliecuomo everywhere elseHunter Harris: @hunteryharris on Twitter, Lemme Say This podcast, HunterHarris.substack.com Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Smart. Bless. Me. How did you meet your current partner? Just a friend of a friend. Truly just like- Wow. I live in Denver and a lot of my friends, they just like barbecues and stuff over the summer. And then like, you know, you see somebody

and you start to talk and then it was like, oh, she actually thinks you're cool. And then we just kind of went from there. So no abs. Meeting somebody at a barbecue. That is so, I'm going to say it like Denver coded. Hello everybody out there listening on the internet. This is another episode of Bad Dates. I am your host Joel Kim Booster.

And if you're just tuning in for the very first time, Bad Dates, it's right there in the name. Idiot. It's a podcast about bad dates. I'm so sorry I don't know why I'm in this mood right now, but you're not an idiot You're just someone who wanted to tune into a podcast and listen to people's tragic Traumatic stories about their first date second dates third dates ten year long relationships and hookups We cast a wide net here at bad Dates because otherwise I would have no standing

to host the podcast if we did not include all of those things. Here at Bad Dates, we gather 150 questions from relationship experts that you're supposed to ask on a first or a second date that will guarantee you success down the line. It is a good compatibility measure.

And today's question is very simple. If your best friends could give you a dating review, what would they say? My best friends, I pretty sure would give me a three star rating. They would say, he was very prompt, but a little intense. And boy, oh boy, will he get very, very anxiously attached to you very quickly until he's got you and then he'll disappear. That has been my MO for my entire adult life until right up until recently when I am now engaged to be married.

But will I make it to the altar? Everyone will just have to see. That's pretty dark. Hopefully the next people who are answering this question will not answer in such a dark manner. Uh, and I-I don't think they will. They're all pretty happy people as I know them. Um, joining me today is a comedian, actor, and writer from the Instigators, AP Byatt,

with those who can't. He's also, get this, the voice of Comedy Central. It's David Borey. Hello, David. Hi. Old friend, can you give us a little sample of the Comedy Central voice before we move on? You want me to talk about South Park coming up next? Uh...

That's most of the job. Wow. Chills. Chills up and down my spine. More chills to come from this next comedian whose debut comedy album, Shut Up You Loved It, debuted at number one on the iTunes chart. You can also see her on Ink Master No More Ink, Natalie Cuomo. Now Natalie, I have to ask about Ink Master No More Ink.

Were you allowed to use ink in the competition? What does the title mean exactly? It's kind of like a review show of the tattoo artist. So it's like a commentary show. I see. I see. I see. You were not tasked with giving people tattoos without ink available to you. Thankfully, I wasn't.

No. Okay. An interesting show. Maybe give it some thought, whoever owns Ink Master. And finally, we welcome a writer and podcaster whose work has appeared in the New York Times and the Gossip Girl reboot. She's also the queen of Twitter and I will also say runs one of the best sub stacks out there currently. Her podcast is called Let Me Say This.

It's Hunter Harris. Hello, Hunter. Hi. How are you? I am good. It's good to see you. Thank you. Good. nice to be seen. I was just on Let Me Say This with Hunter Harris

and her podcasting partner, Peyton. I highly recommend you check that episode out and maybe even more episodes that I'm not into. It's a good podcast. I enjoy it. Now to the three of you, I posed that same question. If your best friends could give you a dating review, what would they say?

David Borey, we'll start with you. Nice guy, way too nonchalant. I think that early on I thought that I could just be like real cool and silent and that would get people, but you just, then you're boring. You just become like a boring guy. Oh, and so nobody responds to the mystery of your silence? I feel like a lot of women love mystery.

I don't think I was believable within that silence. I think you can tell I was like holding something back and that's a little different. Yeah, okay. What kind of things don't you say on a date? Anything, I just, I ask a lot of questions. I mean, thankfully I got like a relationship now for a couple of years,

so I don't have to go on first dates that often. But not much, it's really like, cause I know that I can be a lot and then it's like, you have to explain standup comedy and things like that. So I'm like, maybe I just shut up. Yeah, no, I actually feel that a lot. I also become an investigative journalist when I'm on a date.

Not like, there's like a, there's a, the veil between me and my life, but I wanna know everything. Every first date is a This American Life episode and I am Ira Glass. We know nothing about that man. We know nothing about his life, but boy oh boy, does he get in there.

So I'd say that's a pretty good honest review from David Borey. Moving on, Natalie Cuomo, if your best friends could give you a review about your dating style, what would they say? They would say batch it insane, for sure. Okay. They'd say too much too soon.

Wow, supportive friends, supportive friends. They love me. How does that manifest for you? Because that's a very similar review to mine as well. I think like the anxious attachment style really gets to people early on. They're like, why is he calling so much? Why is he texting so much? Is he okay?

How does the crazy manifest for you? I definitely call and text a lot. I got engaged within three months of dating my husband. Hell yeah. And I like getting tattoos of people's names. Oh, interesting. How many names do you have tattooed on your body? Well, I've covered them up.

Okay. Except for the person, my husband, I've covered them up. Okay. Except for the person, my husband, but I have had four. Four names. Four names. And what are they now, if you don't mind me asking? Oh, God. They are blobs, flowers, and coffins.

Oh, wonderful. I love, there's something very poetic about turning an ex's name into a coffin on your body. I think so. It's really beautiful. I think the journey of that is majestic. All right, finally, last but certainly not least, Hunter Harris, if your dear friends could give you

a dating review, what would they say about you? They would say I'm five minutes late. And by five minutes, I mean 10 minutes. They would say that'm five minutes late. And by five minutes, I mean 10 minutes. They would say that I am nosy. I really am like, I mean, I'm such, I'm just so nosy. I'll ask a million questions. Actually, on our first date last week, I was like, is this too much?

Should we like take a break or do you want to ask me some questions? But I feel like men truly never ask questions on a date. And so it's really like, girl, I'm keeping this conversation alive on my own. Yeah. You sound like a lot of David's old dates. Um. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It sounds like you guys. Nice weather, right? Yeah. It sounds like you have sort of coordinated problems there. But you also are a journalist, so it makes sense. It makes sense. I do like that you offer to give them a break.

That seems. Well, I'm like, let's get into it. I'm like that you offer to give them a break. That seems... I'm like, let's get into it. I'm like, who do you hate at work? What's the last tweet that five people in a row sent you? And you're like, enough. I want to know that stuff. I can't talk about like, oh, do you like this bar? Do you like this neighborhood? I'm like, going to go nuts. Those are solid first day questions. Those are pretty good. If I were on a first date and someone asked me who I hated

and like what tweet was sent, that is like far more. That's more engaging because it's like I would I would rather go months without knowing what my date does for a living than go months without knowing who they hate. You know, like that seems once more terrible for sure. Yeah. One more telling, I would say. You know, like, cause if you tell me you work as a consultant,

I'm sorry, that's a conversation killer, okay? That is a conversation killer. But if you tell me who at Deloitte is, you know, grinding your gears, that's something I wanna hear. That's what I wanna hear. I don't wanna hear that you're going into businesses telling them who they can fire. I wanna hear like who on your team

is not on the group chat, you know? That's what I want to hear. Exactly. Bad Dates. Bad Dates. Our first guest in the hot seat today is none other than David Borey. Now David, you alluded to the fact that you're currently in a relationship right now.

Tell us a little bit about that and then tell us a little bit about what your MO was before you met your partner. What was your dating style? It took a little over two years. Before that, haphazard. I was just kind of running and gunning. I didn't really, I wasn't really focused on dating that much, so it was just kind of like an afterthought.

So a lot of convenience type situations. It wasn't great. Was it a career, were you career focused? Were you trying to have like- Yeah, that's what I told myself for sure. So you're happily partnered now, but take us back to a time when that wasn't the case and paint the picture for us. Where are we at?

Where did this bad date take place? -♪ Uh, this is like probably 20, 2013. So I'm like, uh, 2024, 25, something like that. And, uh, it's in Humboldt County, California. Have you guys ever been up there? It's not great. That sounds like the title of a yellow card song, Humboldt County, California.

It sounds beautiful. It sounds like a pop punk song. No Ocean Avenue. So you're up there, you're in Humboldt County, you're getting ready to go on headlining as a baby comedian two years in. That's early to start headlining for those of you who don't know. Yeah, very early.

I didn't have the time, but you know, I could like, I'm always pretty good about like, hey, that's a tight shirt or whatever. Did that for like an hour. Brilliant, brilliant crowd. An hour of that? Oh, I adore, I love it. It was good stuff in the beginning.

Good, good stuff in the beginning. My foreign mom talks like this. And then, so I did the show. It was me and one of my best friends from San Francisco. We had come up. We got paid $250, which to me, at the time, that's $10,000. I'm 10 feet tall. You know what you're going to say to me?

I'm the richest man in Humboldt County. And they also gave us a bunch of weed. So we finished the show. We smoke all the weed. We go to the bar next door. It's like on the town square. Because, you know, these smaller towns, it's like when you do a show in like a small town, it's like they have like a rec center and then everything is kind of around there.

I've seen Gilmore Girls, David. I know how it works. It's exactly that. You were in Stars Hollow and then you went to Miss Babette's afterwards after the show because that's where you go. Oh wow, those are beautiful names. Is that real? That's the Gilmore Girls lore that I just rolled out for you, David.

I got to get in there. So we went to a bar called the Alibi, which is always a good sign. And I met a woman, we started talking, and I was just like, I was feeling so confident. I do stand-up comedy on the road, I have $250, anything could happen. So we start talking, it's kind of progressing and I'm like, oh, this is, I think this is gonna be like

a one night stand situation. So she's like, do you wanna come back to my house? And I'm like, yes, for sure. I know that my phone is on 5% and that it's a really crappy phone. I have like a Metro PCS phone at the time. Do you guys ever Metro? Oh yeah.

Oh, I remember Metro PCS. Oh yeah. Yeah, I had a Metro PCS phone at the time. Do you guys ever Metro? Oh, yeah. Oh, I remember Metro PCS. Yeah, yeah. I had a Metro PCS at 5%. But I'm like, I'm touched. I will be fine. Everything I'll go with, I'll open with, lead with my heart. So we walk- A little bit of a like, there's an urgency now because your phone is at 5%.

And that makes it really exciting. And I'm six hours away from home and I'm just like. And famously Metro PCS phones you cannot charge actually. Once they're dead, they're dead. You have to pull start the charger is the problem. Yeah. I didn't have any extra fucking gasoline. But so she's like, do you wanna come to my house?

And I'm like, yes, awesome. We're walking towards her house. I'm a rich guy, right? I just got $250. Course I'll buy you a burrito at this food truck. I'm the monopoly man. So yeah, it's nothing to me. It was, it was so much to me.

It was like $25. We get the burrito. Jesus Christ, the burrito. Yeah, in 2013? Yeah, like two $12 burritos, but it's- Oh, okay, okay. I was gonna say in 2013? Yeah, like two $12 burritos, but it's... Oh, okay, okay, okay. I was gonna say, in Obama's America, there was a $25 burrito happening in Northern California.

That seems like a conservative lie, quite frankly. It sounds like something Marco Rubio would say on the Senate floor. Yeah, I mean, that's fair. Anyway, so we keep walking. And now, you know, when you're walking too far in like the suburbs, I start to get that feeling. You know what I mean?

Where it's like, oh, wait, this is like, we've been walking for like 20, 25 minutes. This is, this doesn't seem like you're like a commute. This doesn't seem well thought out. So we keep walking. We walk across a highway and now I'm like, this is not good. Like across an overpass. Across a highway, explain what that means.

Like an overpass, like a freeway overpass. Okay, so you weren't playing leap, you weren't doing Crocker across an active highway. No, but this is a small town where people aren't walking. So it's very, it's's like you're very far out. We cross the highway. She says, she says, do you wanna, you might need to sit down

to go down this hill. This hill is very steep. And I'm like, I'm a tall, athletic, smart comedian with all the money in the world. I don't need to sit down. And I don't sit down and I fall down the hill. So now I'm... yes, it sucked. So now I'm covered in mud, burritos in my hand gone, and I'm like, this sucks.

I'm covered in mud, I don't know where I am. It's 25 minutes. Were you injured at all? No, I was okay, thank God. In what scenario were you going down a hill? Like, that's crazy. So we crossed the highway and there was a hill right on the other side of the highway.

And at the bottom of the hill was her apartment complex. Oh. Okay, I'm sorry. I have like, I have a dozen follow-ups. So she's done this before. Like, I'm assuming other people have fallen down this hill. And did she sit down to go down the hill or was she fine? She sat down. She sat down. And it was her idea to sit down. And her burrito was fine?

No, I had both of them because I'm a gentleman. Oh, that's a nice touch. This is yet another example of believe women. When a woman tells you to sit down, to go down the mud hill, you believe her. The crazy thing is I'm not even like confident in that usually. Like I would always be like, oh, okay, sit down. Yeah, I don't want to fall down.

I don't know. I was just, I was just excited, you know. You were cocky. You were cocky. Yeah, I was cocky. You had that $225 left in your pocket and you. Yeah, now I have validation from a woman as well. I can't be stopped, clearly. Yeah. So she's scooched down the hill.

Nothing more dangerous than a rich man with validation from a woman. It's really the whole issue. That's Jeff Bezos. And see what he did. Yeah, I think it's all the problems. But anyway, so we get to the bottom of the hill and I'm already like, this is weird, you know?

We walked so far, I just, this seems, something seems off. We get to the bottom of the hill, she stands up, I'm covered in mud, and she just starts walking towards an apartment, I'm like, cool. She walks into an apartment, but she doesn't knock, and she doesn't use a key, which is so sketchy, right? We walk. Well, it is a small town, maybe, you know, it is,

you know, small town values. Everybody leaves their doors unlocked, sort of vibe. I was sketched. I was pretty, I was at this point, I was already like, ah, this is not good. So she opens the door to this apartment. We walk in, all the lights are on because it's probably like,

she must've been like maybe 12, 30 at night at this point. Okay. So like if people are around party and they're going to be around, we walk in, all the lights are on, uh, really loud techno is playing throughout the apartment and there's no one in there. And then on the, uh, the living room, the coffee table, huge platter of weed. Like, you know, like a silver serving tray like that. Oh, wow.

Filled with, I mean, it was probably, conservatively, it was like probably like four or five ounces of weed on that table, right? So we go in there and I'm like, ah, I don't know, man, this is like shady. And she's like, sit down, I'm gonna go in the back, I'll be right back. And I'm like, okay. So I sit down on the down. I'm gonna go in the back. I'll be right back. And I'm like, okay.

So I sit down on the couch. I'm listening to this techno music. I'm like, aha, everything about this feels weird, right? Yeah, it feels sort of like pre-trafficking sort of. Nothing good is about to happen. Nothing good happens in this place where techno is loud and no one is there. Like everything. Is techno ever not loud though? Has anyone ever heard techno? Are you even able to hear techno?

That's the only thing that would have sketched me out more. Yeah. If it had been quiet. Soft techno playing in the background. Would have been terrible. Just really mild DJ Tiesto. So I'm sitting there and just like the walk over, she's like taking a while back there. I'm like, oh, what's going on? And it's taking longer.

And then it's like been like 15, 20 minutes probably. And I get up and I kind of like tap on the door that she went into and I don't hear anything. And I'm like, that's really enough for me to be out. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, this is already, I me to be out. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, this is already, I'm not from here. I don't, none of this is good. If she's-

And this is, I want to say pre-Uber times too. So you were kind of stuck, huh? This is where it gets fucked up. So now my phone is, my phone's been on 5% the whole time. I take out my phone. I call my friend who was opening for me at the party and I'm like, or I call my friend who was opening for me at the party and I'm like, or I call my friend who was opening for me at the show and I'm like, where are you? He's like, we ended up at a terrible Northern California party. We're in a house. There's no furniture and there's two DJs in

the living room. It sucks, but you can come here and meet us. We'll figure out the night. And I'm like, okay. And then I'm like, what, what do I do? And he's like, I don't know, man, call a fucking cab, right? That's reasonable advice. Hang up on my friend. I look up Humble, or Arcata was the town, Arcata taxi service. I call a taxi service. Where are you?

Fuck, I don't know where I am. Right? Just say down the mountain. I'm down the hill. I'm down the hill by the mud. But I'm like, shit, so I go outside to look at the name of the apartment complex and I try to tell him the name. He's the guy, the guy's like, I don't know what that is.

Can you find some mail? So then I come back in the house and I'm like, mail, mail, shit, shit, shit. Trash can is where mail is. So I start going through their trash to find like an old mailer or something like that. I find an old mailer, I put in, I gave him the address. He says, we'll be there in 15 minutes.

I'm like, cool, my phone shuts off. So now I'm dead and I'm in this apartment and there's trash everywhere because I was digging through to get the mailer and I'm covered in mud and there's techno playing and there's someone maybe asleep in the back room. And I'm like, if somebody comes home, they're going to kill me. Like this is like, this is like some big ass black dude and your shit what's going on. And then I start to really panic.

I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? I calm down. I breathe a little bit. I'm like, okay, the taxi's coming. So before I leave that apartment for good, I go to the tray and I take about two ounces of weed.

Payment. Next up in the hot seat, it's Natalie Cuomo. Natalie, you also alluded to a partner early on, the only surviving name on your body. How long have you guys been together? About three years. Three years, that's awesome. And how did you meet? Through standup.

Through standup. That is, and so he is also a comedian. He is a comedian, yeah. That is't a lot when I was coming up, because I was never faced with that choice, and I was never gay. So I was very blessed that I was able to do that. And I'm very blessed that I was able to do that. And I'm very blessed that I was able to do that.

And I'm very blessed that I was able to do that. And I'm very blessed that I was able to do that. And I'm very blessed that I was able to do that. And I'm very blessed that I was able't a lot when I was coming up, because I was never faced with that choice, and I was never given that option, and I'm blessed for it, I will say. But Natalie, what do you think is the secret to making it work with another person in your exact same industry,

doing essentially the same thing you are doing? I think communication, just being like really honest about any like feelings that you have of jealousy of each other's accomplishments or anything, just like being honest. And was he, when you got number one on iTunes, was he saying, I'm gonna be real honest with you right now, this sucks for me and I'm happy for you,

but I also want to be number one on iTunes. No, he actually proposed to me that day. So he was like, I'm making it about me. Whoa! He said, once you're number one, babe, I'm popping out the ring. Yeah. That is amazing.

That is so sweet. What an awesome day for you. You hit number one and you hit number one in someone's heart. And it was my birthday. It was a crazy day. And it was your birthday? Oh my God. I know. What an awesome day for you. You hit number one and you hit number one in someone's heart. And it was my birthday. It was a crazy day. And it was your birthday! Oh my God, I know.

Girl, you peaked! You peaked! There's nothing better than that day. It's sad. Yeah. But that's incredible. But you also alluded to earlier that you've had a past. It was not always happy blue skies,

proposals, birthdays, and number one on iTunes. Take us back, paint us the picture. Where are we at in your story, in your timeline? I'd say late 2020, maybe December. Okay, so we're inside. Maybe early 2021. Like we've kind of, early 2021 we're inside. Maybe early 2021. Like we've kind of early 2021. The vaccines are rolling out. Yeah. You know, things are, you know, happening.

We're definitely outside. Like it's, I was dating a guy and he, I felt like I needed to have threesomes with him so he wouldn't cheat on me kind of thing. Oh, that's always, yeah. Exactly the word I was searching for. Now important question, is this two girls, a guy, two guys, a girl? Two girls, a guy, and by the way, it doesn't work. They do still cheat on you.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. That is such an I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.

That is such an important thing for so many of our listeners to hear, I will say. It is, it is. Don't do the threesome so they won't cheat on you. It does not work. And in fact, you are just have to put up with someone, another body in the room. Yes.

So that's lovely. How many threesomes did you have with this person? Would you say? I don't know. It was a good amount. A good amount. A good amount of threesomes, possible title of that. So you're coming out, you're coming outside

for the first time, you're doing these threesomes. How long have you been dating at this point, this man? Couple months. Okay. And Raoul, a couple of months in, you already were at the threesome. I told you, I give it all. Yeah.

Yeah. Perfect. And so, you're having the threesome. What happens next? So, there's this one girl, and like, we would hang out with her a lot. But like, the first time we hung out with her a lot, but, um, like the first time we hung out with her, we were like at his house and you know, everything, whatever

of the evening and in the morning he just left and it was just me and her like in his house and it was sister wives. Yeah. Can I ask one question? Yeah. Is, is hanging out, is that, is that like slang for threesome that I don't know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

She was being demure. I liked it. I loved it. Yeah, we're just, I mean, we're just in his house. I'm like, I don't want to hang out with this girl. This is yesterday's news. I want her to leave. And I'm just alone with her.

And she's really annoying. She keeps calling the guy I was dating daddy, which is really- Oh no. Oh no. Yeah, yeah, I was sad. Was he a daddy guy? Like was he trying to get you to call him daddy as well?

No, she came up with this herself. Like this was her like. This was her pitch. You know what? Sorry, what hints are you dropping? It's like, oh, do you have anywhere to be? Like, do you have like a lunch plan? Like, I'm just sort of like getting ready,

saying the things I have to do. Kind of vibe. I got such a big day. I had to not talk to Randall. Yeah. And she was referring to him as daddy to you while he wasn't there. Hey. I had to not talk to Randall. Yeah. And she was referring to him as daddy to you while he wasn't there.

This was not purely in sex, like, oh daddy. It was like, oh, when is daddy coming back? Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, that sucks. Oh, I don't like that. Yeah, that's real. Like you guys are like two orphans

in a fucking home at this point. Like I don't like that at all. Yeah. Did it also like, that feels like then they had a deeper relationship than maybe what you had thought? Yeah, 100%. And that's kind of like, I imagine difficult as well. It's like gross, yeah.

And she was like, so are you like bi? And I'm like, yeah, are you? And she's like, nah. I'm like, oh. She's like, just daddy for me. Just daddy for you. So what does that make you, like her aunt? Auntie?

I guess. I'm like, and yeah, then we were just, we actually wound up like texting me and her. She was like my little bud. And we just texted and stuff. And when me and that guy broke up, she was really annoying. Like, she would call me...

Why did you hurt my daddy? Yeah, yeah. She was really up my ass and around the corner. Insane, insane behavior. Ultimately, I mean, the signs were there. This sounds like a uber healthy relationship. She was really up my ass and around the corner. Insane, insane behavior. Ultimately, I mean, the signs were there. This sounds like a uber-healthy relationship. But what ultimately ended that relationship?

It was just bad. It was just a toxic situation. So, yeah. We can leave it at that and let the listeners at home sort of fill in the blanks there. Yeah. So this girl is being annoying to you, coming at you left, right, and center. What did you do about that? Well, at first I was like,

what would it be like to hang out with her, like just me and her? And then I was like, no, no, Natalie, you're being crazy. And she would just call me and like ask for favors and stuff. She'd be like, can you drive me around? I don't like being in cars with guys. Like stuff like that. Oh, she wanted an Uber.

Okay, I see. That's so, I mean, honestly, I gotta say, I've heard a lot of stories on this podcast. She is right. I would say most women should avoid being in cars with guys just as a general rule of thumb. So I can't fault her for that. Wait, also does she not have friends? She didn't have friends.

She's like one of those girls that hangs out with guys a lot, you know? And so basically she got drunk and like left her car somewhere and needed to pick it up and wanted a ride to pick it up. Wow. So she's like, my favorite food is wings actually. Is it like one of those sort of?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like super like Jersey trash respectfully. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. And I do respect that. I do respect that about her and I respect your experience of it. So does the story go to a place of resolution for you? Or does it sort of drop off after you've been asked

to be this woman's personal Uber driver? The Uber driver was kind of the last straw for me. I was like, this bitch is crazy. At first I was like, oh, it's kind of fun to leave each other voice notes about talking shit about things. And then she took it too far. She took it too far.

Now you, are you as a bisexual woman at this point, are you attracted to this girl? Mm, if I'm high and drunk enough kind of thing. Oh, that's always a good spot to get. So she, with people. Unfortunately, I totally get it. I totally get it. I totally get it.

I absolutely know which substances I need to be on to have sex with certain people. It's a Google sheet for me. And it's a very healthy one. Natalie, what lesson, if any, do you think you took away from this experience with this young, straight, female niece that you happen to be in the room for her having sex with your boyfriend?

My lesson was I don't like threesomes and I don't ever want to have one again. Really? So this ruined all threesomes for you. If you... Do you see a scenario in which you're, A, attracted to the woman, the woman isomes for you. If you, do you see a scenario in which you're A, attracted to the woman, the woman is B, attracted to you, C, not into your current boyfriend though? Is that a threesome that you could get on board with?

No, it really just, I just don't like, I don't like sharing. You don't like sharing at all. So my next question was gonna be like, is four the right number? Because I will admit, I'm not somebody who likes threesomes, but four or more is preferable. Because I've said it on the podcast before,

it's my thing, threesomes, there's just not always enough for everyone to do. Everyone is searching for a chore, a task. With four people there, there seems to be enough holes to go around, you know? And I, I do think that is generally speaking, the problem with most threesome's, but you don't like, you want 101.

Oh, David, go. Does that grow like is eight good, but like six, 15 is bad? Cause it seems to be like a one for each type of situation, but then I'm just trying to do the math is all. I think that like, no a one for each type of situation, but then yeah, I will say I do the math is I I think that like no as a general rule of thumb like once it gets to 15 You're not you're not like making friends. You're not making connections. It is that's just orgy territory I would say like once you get past a fivesome. I think we no longer call it

Five is orgy. I Think six plus is orgy. Okay, so five could be like a gathering. A fivesome, as long as we have a term for it, because like I've never heard sixsome. That's hard to say. That's true, that's very true. Fivesome I haven't heard that often either,

but I see it. Yeah, it's usually, you know, like hooking up with a throuple when you're in a couple. And then that sort of, that ease isn't in, I don't know. Maybe it's a little bit more common on my side of the fence, but definitely. I'm learning so much right now, wow. Me too. I know. And this is, at the end of the day,

sponsored by the Department of Education. Rounding out our wonderful panel of guests today is the one, the only Hunter Harris. Now, Hunter, I was just on your podcast. We discussed this a little bit. You are currently out of a relationship and back on these quote unquote streets. Yes, I'm new to the streets. Made my triumphant return. I was in a relationship for like four or five years and we just broke up a couple months ago.

But it's good. He's like dog- for me next week, like we're still friendly. So it's one of those, it was an amicable sort of situation for the most part, you would say. You would describe it that way, if he's dog sitting for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we're also, we're both from the Midwest, so it really can't get too like raw energy. Yeah, it's never gonna get super toxic.

As long as no one cheated on each other, as long as no one was abusive, I think that like most Midwestern people would say, my ex is dog sitting for me right now. Because we have no choice. We just have no choice. When asked, we will dog sit. Yes, exactly.

That is the part of the Midwestern disease. Is the story you're about to tell, is this pre or post? Is this in your new streets era or is this in the pre-relationship streets era? It was pre-relationship streets. I was in my early twenties. I think this was like 2018, 2019, I would say.

So I'd only been in New York a couple years. And I didn't, I wasn't like seeking a relationship, but I was kind of dating. And so there's like kind of an auspicious beginning to this. I was going to meet my friend for lunch in, like early dinner in Williamsburg. And he, like, we post photos of each other like in our plates. It was like a really bougie dinner, whatever.

And then he gets a DM from like this guy who's like three degrees of separation away from him, like a friend of a friend who went to college with him. And this guy says to my friend, oh, my God, I saw that girl on the train and she's really pretty. And I was like, OK And listeners, he was right. No, I'm a Leo fishing for compliments. So he like asked my friend like, oh, is she single? Can I ask her out?

My friend's like, yeah, of course, like I'll connect you guys. And so that's like, oh, this is so like Miss Connections, like Nora Efron boots, like this feels like so, you know, meaningful, like something that's like not just on an app. So going into what I was like, okay, I'm gonna so, you know, meaningful, like something that's like not just on an app. Right. So going into what I was like, okay, I'm going to like, I'm excited for this.

But I can't remember, like, what he did for a living or something. But he he's like, he said that I said that I was a writer, which I am. And he was like, Oh, I write too. And I was like, Oh, like, like, where do you write? Or what do you write for? And he's like, Oh, I write too. And I was like, oh, like, where do you write or what do you write for? And he's like, oh, poetry, just for myself mostly. So I should have known right there. So I should have-

I like that when you said that, all of us were like, no, he's not a writer. No, absolutely not. As soon as you said it. And I don't believe in gatekeeping, except for this one specific instance when a man is like telling you he's a writer and it's like, sweetheart, this is like my work. my work like this is not just I'm not a hobbyist

Also specifically poetry feels like yeah And you only write poetry for yourself, that's it's like write a paragraph. How about that? Okay? It's not to get so much worse. Oh, I'm excited so we we meet at this bar and like probably alphabet city, maybe and It's I just remember I can't remember what part was but I look a big tree in the center and I was like, yeah This kind of it's like one of those like New York things like oh, there's a tree in the middle of the bar Like whatever who cares but there's like a live band playing kind of like a folk Yeah, I can like a folksy band And it was so loud and I was like, Oh God, like this band is so fucking loud.

I wish we could like actually talk to one another. I can barely hear you. And he's like, Oh no, I love this band actually. And I was like, Oh, cannot stress enough. This band is like, like not famous, which is not that a bad thing, but it was just like, it's not like really, you know, it's not like a big scene. Everyone is pretty much ignoring this band. And he's like, oh, I love them.

I've like, I follow them around to different bars. Like, I'm a really big fan. And I was like, oh, interesting. Okay, like, do you play music? Da-da-da. And he's like, yeah, but I just really like their stuff. Do you think I should go say hi? Like, do you think they would remember me from the last time I met them?

Oh. Oh. And then it's like, you know when someone's looking at you, but they're looking right past you, it was like that. Like he's looking at like the boys in this band and not me. I was like, that's why I first got was like, this is, this is Red Flag number two. First one was poetry. Second one was him asking about the band.

I love that his, I love that his vibe is like, I see something, I go for it. You know? He's like, saw her on the train, going for it. see something, I go for it. Saw her on the train, going for it. See his band, going for it. Like he, you know, say a lot of things about this man that we're about to find out, but he really goes for it. Not only is it in the most appropriate context,

but he's going for it. I think what better way to introduce the fact that of course he's white and he's very like, maybe a little bit like self-conscious about that, of course, he's white, and he's very, like... Maybe a little bit self-conscious about that, in a way. I don't know. It was... Well, this was the height of 2018, 2019. I think that was reaching sort of peak. But this was pre-Race War summer, so he hadn't even been

successfully guilted out of money in his pocket yet. He was just regular white guilt, not even like turbo-charged white guilt. But I was like, okay, this is, you know, whatever. So then, I can't remember if this was always the plan, or if it was like a surprise to me. But he was like, okay, this is, you know, whatever. So then I can't remember if this is always the plan or if it was like a surprise to me. But he was like, oh, after the bar, like, why don't we go to like a poetry reading? Oh, and I was like, oh, that's like, oh, like, you know, he's like, oh, it's just around the corner. I go all the time. I was like, oh, and this is, this is when I'm like, I guess it was like probably the corner. I go all the time. I was like, oh, and this is when I'm like, I guess I was probably 22 or 23, like, why would I agree?

Why wouldn't I just end the date at the bar? But I didn't know anything, because my brain wasn't fully developed. No. So we go to the slam poetry. It's slam poetry. Not just poetry, slam poetry. So there's an element of violence intrinsic. Like we're in high school.

That's the late night poetry. That's what they do late night. So we go to this venue and it's like a line outside of the door. Everyone who's there looks like they're fresh out of Urban Outfitters. I'm like, oh great, look, it's so crowded, we can't go. He's like, oh, don't worry, I know people here.

So then we go into the venue and would you believe there are two seats in the very front row? No way. Front and center. And I said, I'm being punked. I'm being held hostage. I'm actually held against my will. At least if I was in the back row, I could be like on my phone and be like, oh, sorry, I gotta go. No, we were right. Like I could touch the stage'll dance my will. At least if I was in the back row, I could be like on my phone and be like, oh, sorry, I gotta go. No. We were right, like I could touch the stage with like,

with my hand. Then he has this like friend who I'm pretty sure that, in retrospect, I think he brought me to this place because it was like all of his black friends that were there. And he introduced, yeah, yeah. He introduced to this guy who like wears overalls and I like had very chanced the rapper way because that was the era. And it's like, oh, this guy who wears overalls and I very chanced the rapper away, because that was the era.

And it's like, oh, you put on these overalls to make coloring book or acid rap, and instead we're here at this poetry slam. And then, what, for the next hour, I hear the worst slam poetry of my life. It's like all, you know, trauma porn, like thought catalog, essay wannabe, like my mom got mad at me for getting an abortion,

but like she doesn't know about my... Like it was all of that stuff. And I look over... And I assume that this, a lot of this is not rhyming either. A lot of this is not rhyming. No, no. A lot of this is sort of free form. Um...

It was like, okay, not to be ugly about it, but it's kind of like what people say Lin-Manuel Miranda does when they're making fun of him. Like, that's the kind of poetry it was. And that is tough. And, you know, and I'm glad you specified... And he's eating it up. He's eating it up. I'm glad you specified, like, what people think and say Lin's eating it up. I'm glad you specified like what people think

and say Lin-Manuel Miranda does because at least with Lin-Manuel Miranda, you could have gotten some Moana out of it, you know? And there was no Moana to be found. No, no, no, no, no. At the slam poetry, I'm assuming. No, no, no. This was like, it was very like, I don't even know.

It's very like people who like earnestly repost like Courier new kind of graphics on Pinterest. So like quotes from like Emerson. It was very like that. And I'm sitting next to this guy and he's eating it up. He's like, he's loving every second of it. I was like, well, this is like, yeah. Can I ask what the man was wearing?

I'm just very, do you have like a scarf or anything on? No, no, no. He was dressed, I think it's like some kind of plaid shirt, but when I looked over, which this doesn't bother me so much, but at that age and at that time, I'm looking at his hands applauding and he has like silver rings on every finger, not in like a sexy way, like in a very like hot topic way.

And it all feels very performative for someone who is from Dallas. Yeah. Oh, well, can you, can you blame him for wanting to escape Dallas and the trappings of Dallas? I mean, not on my watch, not on my, not with my Saturday night. Yeah, that I can blame him for. I mean, you guys went to a concert and a poetry slam. That's like two in one night. Yeah, he probably thought the rings were working. Meanwhile, his entire hand is green.

Every finger is green. Yes. I really, at some point, was just trying to escape this poetry. And everyone's like, oh my God, you're a real writer. What do you think? I was like, it's so brave to get up and share your story on stage. Like, that's really powerful. Because that's, you know, I don't want to be mean, but that's really all I could say.

Yeah, no, it's very... The costumes were amazing. Great gowns, beautiful gowns. Great gowns, beautiful gowns, exactly. And that was... Yeah, and then I think he asked me a bunch of idiotic questions about Williamsburg, and then he took me back to my apartment, and I was like, okay. What is an idiotic questions about Williamsburg and then he took me back to my apartment. And I was like, okay. What is an idiotic question about Williamsburg?

I'm curious. Do you ever see them film girls? Oh. That is a tough one. That's the 2019 equivalent or 2018 equivalent of when people come to LA and are like, are the Himes sisters just around everywhere? And to be fair, in that case, it's true.

It used to be, are the Heim sisters around? But now it says Muna around. Are Muna around? Yeah, it's true, it's true, it's true. That's the updated version of that question. Did you give it up to this man at the end of this date? Or do you have self-respect? A little, yeah.

A little? Well, listen, we'd made it all that way. I was like, eh, whatever. Relatable, relatable. Put on all those rings. Absolutely. Did he take the rings off first? Yes, he had to take every... Because that's the recipe for toxic shock syndrome, honey.

Honestly, I don't remember. I hope, I probably don't. If you're putting nickel up there, no, man. We didn't go that far. Okay, relax. Oh, my God, I'm still a lady. Okay, thank God. Who doesn't want to hear any more poetry. I don't want to give the wrong idea. Bad dates. This has been so much fun.

I'm going to start with David. David, where can people find you and what are you doing these days? Cool Guy Jokes 87 on Instagram. I didn't think the platform was going to last as long as it did. I have a podcast with Langston Criss, and I'm going to be doing a podcast with him. I'm going to be doing a podcast with him. I'm going to be doing a podcast with him. I'm going to be doing a podcast with him.

I'm going to be doing a podcast with him. I'm going to be doing a podcast with him. I'm going to be doing a podcast with him. I'm going to be doing a podcast with him. I'm going to be doing a podcast with him. I'm going to be doing a podcast with him. I'm going to be doing a podcast with him. I'm going to be doing a podcast with him.

I'm going to be doing a podcast with him. I'm going to be doing a podcast with him. I'm going to be doing a podcast with him. I'm going to be doing a podcast with think the platform was going to last as long as it did. I have a podcast with Langston Kerman called My Mama Told Me where we talk about black conspiracy theories. Incredible podcast, by the way. Congratulations on all the accolades and things like that. You guys are so much. And that's it. Thank you guys. Awesome. And Natalie Cuomo, where can people find you? What are you doing these days? You can find me at nataliecuomo underscore on Instagram at nataliecuomo and everything else. And yeah, I'm on tour that has all my tour dates and stuff. Amazing. And I have to ask any relation? No relation.

Oh, no relation. Okay. I got so excited. I had some messages I wanted you to pass along. Finally, Hunter Harris, what are you doing these days? Where can people find you? Season two of my podcast, let me say this, started two weeks ago. So we're back in earnest once a week. And then I write a newsletter that comes out twice a week, sometimes three times a week. And that's called Hung Up. And it's hunterharris.substance.com.

And I tweet at HunterRoyHarris and I'm on Instagram asis.substack.com. Yes, and I tweet at Hunter Ray Harris and I'm on Instagram as at Hunter H. Great, love it, follower everywhere. Check out the sub stack, could not recommend it enough. And if you would like to recommend this podcast to strangers all across the internet, that means you need to go to Apple Podcasts, your Spotify or wherever you're listening

to this podcast today. Give us a rating and review, five stars, please it really helps people find the podcast. And until next week, this has been an episode of Bad Dates. I'm Joel Kim Booster. I will talk to you then. Bye bye. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media

created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited, and engineered by Devon Torrey-Brien. Produced by Anne Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana. Executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Baitman.

Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kominsky. Music by Cushi and Evan Schleder. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3283. That's 984-265-3283. That's all for this week. We will be back for more Bad Gays!