Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Alexa: Sexy Time (w/ Nikki Boyer, Sasha Colby, and Brittani Ard)

Episode Date: March 3, 2025

On a new episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes Nikki Boyer, Sasha Colby, and Brittani Ard to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Nikki is seeing double even before the drinks start flowing, Sasha does like an audience but this one is a little too stuffed, and Brittani delivers three highlights (lowlights?) from her 2024, very good Brit, very good. If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips. Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Nikki Boyer: @nikkiboyer on all socials, new show Dying For Sex coming to Hulu this AprilSasha Colby: @sashacolby on all socials, tour dates on SashaColby.netBrittany Ard: @brittani.ard on all socials, BrittaniArd.com, You Probably Think This Story’s About You podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Smart, less, me, I. I'm always open about my transness. I'm not about to catfish somebody and be a like a sister. You're going to know up front. So the guys that are interested, and I always use this metaphor, when guys are like, oh, you tricked me or you, you know, like I didn't know. Do you all like, you all love like bacon, right?

Oh, and bacon's cooking, right? Not a mile away, right? Bitch. If you're like a trans girl, you can smell the fucking bacon cooking. And you're hungry, bitch. You begging strip, honey. Okay. Oh my gosh. Oh, hello and welcome to another episode of Bad Dates, the podcast. I'm your host, Joel Kim Booster, and we here at Bad Dates, well, it's right there in the name, we're here to talk about dates that are bad, that can encompass first dates, second dates, third dates, hookups, marriages even, long-term relationships.

We cover it all here at Bad Dates, and I bring along a panel of extremely funny people to unearth some of their own personal trauma for your enjoyment. Oh boy, oh boy, I hope you guys are ready because this is a real good panel we have assembled today. They're all good but this one is especially iconic and I can't wait to get to it. But first we're gonna hear from you as always a little bit of listener mail up top. This one's from Leslie. Bad Dates. I'm in college and I've been dating a guy for about a month. Last week we decided to microdose mushrooms. My date had never done any kind of edible and he got impatient waiting for it to kick

in so he keeps eating doses like popcorn until it turns into a macro dose. Soon enough, he's way too fucked up so I get him back to his dorm room that he shares with a roommate and tuck him in. Then the roommate shows up, we start chatting, and he says he's got some champagne in their mini fridge. Now, if you think I didn't have loud crazy good sex with him 10 feet away from my past update, you underestimate me. I left before my sort of boyfriend came to. Now I have both of them texting me. What are the chances the roommate told my boyfriend? Is it on me to come clean?

Wow, Leslie, Leslie, Leslie. I love it when we get letters from the young women who are behaving like gay men. It is so messy and so delicious. And I will say my answer to you in this, really, it really is influenced by the first line of your letter, which is, I'm in college and I've been dating a guy for about a month.

Baby, let me tell you, this story is exactly the kind of thing you should be doing in college, okay? College is a platform for you to have loud, crazy sex with a stranger 10 feet away from a man you have been dating for about a month who is too fucked up on my ships. That's it, that you're doing exactly what you have to do.

Now, listen, you've been dating for about a month. This is my take on this, and I'll bring in my panel in a second, and they'll be able to weigh in as well. When you say I've been dating someone for about a month, and you can't even pinpoint the exact date, how long you've been dating someone for about a month and you can't even pinpoint the exact date how long you've been dating to them I actually think you don't owe them a whole lot In terms like I don't think it was necessarily wrong for you to fuck his roommate

What you do have to do now is if you want to have if you want to exit this Situationship on good terms. I think you do have to come to come clean to him if that's what you want. I will say there's no way in hell the roommate has told his roommate, the person he has to live with, that he fucked you. There's just no way. Oh, he totally don't. You think so? Okay. Well now we have to bring the guest in. It's coming. It needs to happen. It needs to happen now and it needs to happen with the first whose voice you just heard. She is a model, an activist, a drag legend who's

become the first trans woman in history to win RuPaul's Drag Race. It is Sasha Colby. Sasha, welcome to the podcast. Thank you for jumping in there. I'm sorry I couldn't hold my tongue. And neither could the roommate. The ethos of the podcast is you can't help your tongue. Our next guest is an actress, a singer, songwriter, and executive producer of FX's Dying for Sex based on her own award-winning podcast. It is Nikki Boyer.

Hello, Nikki. Welcome. Hi. I'm so happy to be here. It's going to be fun. Buckle up. I can't wait to hear what you have to weigh in on Leslie's story.

And finally last but certainly not least, we have the host of the podcast, You Probably Think This Story Is About You, which dives deep into love, betrayal and self discovery. It's Brittany Ard. Hello Brittany. Hello. Thank you so much for having me. I am so blessed to have a panel of beautiful women

in front of me today, women who were at one point in their life, Leslie's age. What do you think about her situation? What do you think Leslie owes the sort of boyfriend that she's been dating for about a month? What do you think she owes the roommate? How dare you say that we are not college age? How dare you? Okay, are not college age? How dare you?

Okay, you don't know my age. No, that was all... Just because I was on the first post on Wilde video. Oh my gosh. It was a trap and I fell for it. I fell for it. I apologize. Any one of you could pass for a sophomore in college.

You're rushing a sorority as we speak. I can tell. Thank you, Joel. Well, I have to say what I love is that you nailed it. When you said college, I was like, that is the time when you go for it. Like, that's the time that you just do it. And when she said, sorta boyfriend, there's your answer. Sorta. And it's sorta with anything in front of it, just negates it. But I do love honesty. I do it. But can I just say this too?

I don't know if it's her responsibility or the roommate's responsibility to tell the other guy. That's what I always hear that one. And not to make it gender specific, but why do the women always get kind of dragged through the mud and the men are like, oh, oh, no, no, no, right? I completely agree.

I guess I think for me, it was like, she initiated the romantic part of this. But Sasha, you think the roommate has spilled the tea all over the room. Oh, and college, we are talking about every sexual escapade. They're probably laughing that they just witnessed an episode of Seinfeld when they drugged the girl so they could play with her toys.

That is exactly what happened. And of course it was like, yeah bro, we fully like boned while you were tripping on mushrooms for the first time. Like. I mean, I guess it is one of those things of like, how close do you think the roommates are? Are they like, were they assigned to freshman year roommates

or are they buds who decided to room together? That's a big deciding factor. Or maybe they play and maybe she just stumbled into a lovely man. You know what? Sasha, you bring up such a great point. Leslie, you might have gotten got. This man may have, this might be their kink

that you were unwittingly wrapped up in. He's pretending to be too fucked up. He's pretending to be asleep in the twin size bed across the room, and is secretly listening and watching you have sex with his roommate. And you have been caught in their web. And Leslie, I don't think you owe either of these men. Now that we know what was going on, you don't owe either.

Actually, because you need a cookie. Yep, exactly. Exactly. Brittany, this is what you think happened? Oh, absolutely. I think this was planned from the beginning. I mean, who in college doesn't know how to do mushrooms? I mean, it's like one of those summer courses they make you take before you show up to campus.

Oh yeah, I'll microdose and then maybe he wasn't into her, into Leslie. Texas is his friend. He's like, oh, but she's hot. Well, let me pretend to macrodose bring it home and then you can. You can take care of her. You know what? Like he macrodosed and he was bringing him home for the roommate. You know, why not get a little too fucked up? I hate micro dosing. Give me the macrodose every day. You know, I don't know. If I'm going, I don't need one foot in a cartoon and one foot in reality. Bring me to the cartoon, baby. Yeah, rookies microdose.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly that. Bad Dates Bad Dates Bad Dates Bad Dates We're going to start up with Nicky. Nicky, before we begin your story though, I do want to know a little bit of context. Where are you at now relationship wise? Are you in a relationship? Are you dating?

What is your vibe in that department? Well, I love you for asking. I am married and I've been married for two years. I think, I think. But we've been together for like 16 years. So we just got married for fun. Cause COVID hit and then we're like, what should we do? And we're like, we have a party.

We should just get hitched, right? So yeah, we've been together for a long time. Weddings that come out of boredom. It's you nailed it. That's what it said on the invitation. Did you get the invitation? You didn't come and you did not bring a gift by the way. It was yeah, we just we decided to just get hitched after being together for so long. So I'm in a lovely monogamous relationship, but I was a full on slut for many, many years. So I love this show. This is music to my ears. This is music to my ears.

This is exactly what I was hoping to hear from you, Nikki Boyer. So Nikki, where in your life is this story taking place? This is right after college, so I feel, you know, that space where you're like, you're coming out of the Leslie Headspace. Exactly. I moved from St. Louis to Los Angeles and I was just going for it. So this- Congrats on getting out, yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah, so that's what, so do I launch into it? Is that my cue? Yeah, go ahead.

Just paint us the picture. Who are you? You're fresh out of college. Where are you at? You're in Los Angeles. What happens next? No, I love this. I love this.

I'm kind of, I don't know why it feels kind of nervous. I don't think, I don't know if I've ever told this story. I mean, I've said it at parties with friends after lots of mushrooms, but I don't think I've ever said it. Well, you're about to hear, a lot of new friends are about to be made and are about to hear this story.

Sober as a Jaybird. So this story takes place in my very early 20s, just moved out here and decided I'm going to give up my career in television in St. Louis and come out to Los Angeles to pursue a bigger career in television and work at a restaurant, right? And in the midst of all of that, you know that, right? That story. And during that time, I decided like I'm going to take every dime that I make from the restaurant

and use it on an acting class, right? so I signed up for an acting class on Melrose and walked into the acting class and I Met these two guys They were twins which I thought was interesting to put twins in an acting class, right? Like why not separate them right there? No, I mean listen, I think it's smart that they were together because you know they're going to get, they are getting called in for every henchman in every Marvel movie right now as twins.

I think they might be, actually. I have friends who are twins who are actors. They need to be, they need to be together and they need to learn how to, they need to be on the same level as, because imagine they were put in two separate classes. One gets really good because he has a better teacher than the other. That's a disaster. That's a disaster for their brand as twins. You got to keep them in the same womb for the rest of their life. Exactly.

Okay, got it. Well, they were super fit. They were ridiculously cute. And I, of course, being the needy actress that I was, I was like, hi. I gave them tons of attention. And they reciprocated and were very, very sweet to me. And I had such a crush on them. And actually one of my... Wait, wait, wait. We have to stop. You had a crush on them. On them. There was no differentiation. There wasn't one that you liked better or were more attracted to. You liked them as a pair. You said, I'm at Costco. Why not pick up a couple while I'm here?

hair, you said, I'm at Costco, why not pick up a couple while I'm here? 100%. As individuals, they were cute, but together they were cute. You know what I mean? The original Bae Vam. Yeah, I... Oh my God. The original Bae Vam, right there. In its actual context. So we became friends and I wanted to get paired up with them for a scene. I just was going above and beyond to get them to notice me and they were very, very sweet to me.

And then they left class. I think they ended up getting a modeling job and the two of them were modeling together. And I remember looking at the photos many, many years later and thinking they were very sexual, like together. It was interesting. It gave me that Menendez brothers vibe that you get from the new show that just came out, the Ryan Murphy one. It felt very like, ooh, okay.

They left class and immediately ended up on my computer screen. Oh, that's great. Sounds like a category. Yeah, in the category. So they leave class, okay? So they leave and I'm destroyed and I don't know what to do, but I quickly figure it out. Flash forward to a few months later, I decide I need to get a job at a restaurant, right? Another restaurant because I'm broke again. And I don't know if anybody's

familiar with it was a it was a rock and roll sushi bar opened up on Sunset Boulevard called Miyagi's. I'm like, that's really cool. You guys really thought out of the box for that title. So Miyagi's on Sunset. I got hired because they were building the restaurant. So I walked in, I'm like, I'm going to be aggressive and get a job before they're even open. And they hired me on the spot. I hate sushi. I hate, hate sushi. So they're like, what's your experience with sushi? And I was like, it's something I eat every single day.

It's delicious. I love it. And I didn't have a ton of restaurant experience because the last job I had worked at was, you know, I wasn't great at waiting tables, but I figured I can handle this. So I go in. It's, you know, we're meeting with the managers, I'm getting training, I'm eating fish and then going in the bathroom and like, not like spitting half of it out because I'm like, I cannot eat this shit. So the manager says today we have two new hires. Guess who walks in? The twins. Yes.

The twins. The twins. So the twins walk in and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is my destiny. It's me. Yeah. Thank you. So now you don't just have acting class. You've got sushi and rock and roll sushi and a restaurant opening, lots of drinks, lots of fun. So we start connecting and we start hanging out. Flash forward.

As a throuple. Like we three? As a throuple. I was gonna say what are the odds, but then I realized saying what are the odds that two out of work actors would find themselves working at a restaurant. It sounds ridiculous in LA.

So I guess the odds aren't that crazy, but it still does make me feel like we live in a simulation. And I couldn't really tell the difference between the two of them to be really honest with you. If they were standing next to each other, I could. But if they were like separately in different areas of the restaurant, I'd be like, Hey, you, hey, you. That's so interesting. I always find that with identical twins, one is always inevitably a little hotter based on things that they do to make themselves the hotter one.

Like that's, like I know a set of twins that I, I am not, they're identical and they do look identical. I have no interest in fucking one of them. I recently met the other one and he looks like his brother with an Instagram filter over him. And I was, and sudden it's, I cannot explain it. They look nearly identical, but I want to have sex with one and not the other and it's inexplicable but it sounds like you found the the golden goose you found a

set of twins that was actually both of them on the same level nines tens tens across the board. Hold on to that thought Would you put that in your pocket, Joel? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Check out Identical Twins. So things get fun. We start drinking.

We start having a good time after work and doing after work hangouts. One thing leads to another. I end up back at the twins' apartment. I wake up in the morning in someone's boxers and a sweatshirt. And I'm alone in the bedroom and I hear like kind of a ruckus in the kitchen. I'm like, oh, okay. Well, yeah, that was good. First of all, congratulations to me. Had a good night, had a fun time. I wake up and I walk out and one of the twins is making pancakes, super sweet, and the other one is like cleaning up the kitchen. And then I realized, still

at that point, I couldn't remember which one I had slept with. Okay, so I'm sitting there. Well, and at this point, you assume that you only had sex with one of them. I don't assume, I know. Do you know though? Do you really know? Did one of them go to a bathroom? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did one of them in the middle of sex say, hey, fuck you right back, I have to use the bathroom? Please tag me in, bro, tag me in.

Exactly. Did their stamina seem a little too good to be true? Right. Which was a little better every once in a while. Oh my god, you guys, I never really questioned that until this moment. So thank you for the induced panic attack I'm about to have. No, I'm pretty sure I only slept with one. I was not macro-dosing mushrooms, no shade, but I just had, you know, just some sushi that I spit out and then some cocktails,

which leaves a lot of room in your stomach for cocktails, right? Yeah. That wasn't the only thing you were spitting out that night, Nikki. Ah! We are ladies here. Yeah.

Does that mean we swallow? What's your... Yeah. Yeah. That is so funny. Yeah, what did that even mean? You're really? Oh my God. I love that.

Okay. Okay. So you're in the apartment, they're making pancakes, these identical twins. What's going on? What's happening? I'm sitting there and my boxers on my sweatshirt and I'm excited to eat because I'm starving and a little bit hungover, but I'm waiting. I'm waiting for a sign. I'm waiting for a clue, some eye contact, a smirk. But they were just being so polite and I think maybe secretly understanding that

I maybe I was a little like, I don't know. I was like, please anything give me a sign. Like I was like kind of going towards one of them to see if they'd brush against me and going next to the other one. Nope. Finally, one of them came over and touched me on the shoulder and I thought, oh my God, thank God. Mystery solved. And to tell you the truth, Joel, it was the less attractive of the twins.

Oh my God. And I said, I told you, there's always one. There's always one. There's always one. And I see, I would have fully given like, I would have been a sphynx giving a riddle, like what does my lower back birthmark look like? Which one of you can draw, like draw, I actually, I have a unrelated sort of event

that I'd like you guys to take part in. Please, both of you draw me naked, and then you decide based on which one gets it more accurate. Right, yeah. Which one I- I was gonna look at the boxers and see which boxers is like-

Oh yeah! You know? I mean, I guess if I would've waited long enough, if I would've waited long enough, I would've seen which one was gonna go into the bedroom that I was in, but I was having like a real moment of like, what do I do and are they? But then at the end of breakfast, one of them smiled, I still don't remember which one it was and looked at me and said, see, we do everything together and kind of winked at me.

I was like, Oh, they totally tagged. I'm sorry. But you had sex with both of them that night. I'm so sorry, Nikki. I'm so sorry that you had to find out live on air like this, but you had sex with both of them. You had sex with both of them. There's no way. You thought you were drunk and seeing double, but no, you were having sex with a set of twins. So maybe you didn't swallow, maybe you spit and swallow. You guys.

Oh my God. Amazing. And so did you ever, what happened with the twins? What I remember happening is going to work and they ended up getting a job and going, they just kept vanishing from my life. But I would Google search every once in a while them, and they just kept popping up, but always in modeling photos together. Like they were always together. And to this day, I've secretly followed them on Instagram. What was the big takeaway from this experience that you may or may not have applied to your

future dating and sexual endeavors? If you're going to sleep with twins, just bring a Sharpie and mark one. Next up, it is the one, the only, the legend, LA icon, Sasha Colby. Now, ma'am, I have to ask you the same question I asked Nikki. Where are you at Lovewise these days? Do you have a man? Are you looking for a man? Are you looking for anything at this point? I got them all, Chow. He's too busy. Baby, I am currently in a relationship with a couple. Oh.

Twins? I know. I can tell them apart. One's got a dick and one's got a pussy. I can tell them apart. Oh, okay. First. I can tell them apart. One's got a dick and one's got a pussy. I can tell them apart. Oh, okay. First.

Oh my God. I said one of each, please. No Sharpie needed. No Sharpie needed. Yeah. Oh, another front runner. That's incredible. How long have you guys been together?

Let's see. It's been since like October 2023, so a little over a year. Okay. Beautiful. Beautiful. First, beautiful, beautiful. First polyamorous experience. I was just about to ask if you were well versed in the poly ways and how has it been different, what are, other than the fact that you're in relationship

with two people, what are some of the biggest things that have made it different for you than past relationships? Well, I think I was always in a polyamorous relationship in all my relationships. I just didn't know until I found out he was cheating on me. So I'm pretty diverse. I'm just happy at this time I know upfront. Yeah, it's upfront. Yeah. But yeah, actually, like it took like a good year to deprogram from monogamy. And romcoms fucked me up, you know?

I'm like, love songs. Payback, speak on, speak on. Maybe single one and the only one and I'm waiting for Mr. Right or Mr. Right or whatever. Like baby, I like pizza, I don't wanna eat it every day. You know what I mean? In elementary school on my report card, it says does not share well.

And that's the whole part of polyamory. And so you better move your check. So I don't know, it's a competition for me, but once I realized I'm not fighting to share someone's boyfriend, I actually get two people that are in love with me. Then I got to really start to understand. And now I really can't imagine not having creative account. That's beautiful. That's wonderful. And I hope you

march up into your first grade classroom today with your partners and you say, look at this, bitch, who can't share now? Okay. I've grown. I've learned. I think I might dream. Like that's why you're brain hell. I've grown. I've learned. I think I might be true. I'm like, that's why you're brain hell! Okay, so that's wonderful. You've been in a happy, healthy, successful polyamory and I've been in a poly relationship. Yeah, you're in a poly relationship. We'll just leave it at that. Where in your life does your story take place?

Paint us the picture. In my story, I am in LA actually. Okay. So I'm currently in LA. I've been here for about 10, almost 11 years. Actually 10 years, yeah. No, it was 11. 2014 I moved here.

I already won Miss Continental in 2012. I was freshly divorced. I was married to a lesbian from 2012 to 2014, a spicy Venezuelan. So a Venezuelan lesbian was not about to be Paul Hammers. I announced the benchmark of a lesbian to share. She, among most of my partners, were always pretty possessive over me. Like they wanted to date Sasha Colby,

but once they did, it was like, can't be her in front of everybody else, you know? Oh my God, it is that song from Rent. It is Take Me or Leave Me, unfortunately. It is I'm a Tiger in a Cage. It is, yeah. Exactly. But, so I was freshly offered a divorce. I came here to be an actress and work at a drag show instead of Hamburger Mary's, but

instead of being a server, I would just work at a drag show. So we had the same idea coming out. Until we had a big or whatever. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, I was living, I think I was still living with my best friend who convinced me to come move over here and just take the leap. I was staying at his house, it was pretty a year into my living here. And I finally got like licked my wounds from my relationship.

I said, okay, I'm ready to like jump on this like bumble or Tinder. So one guy swipe right because he smelled the bacon. And we went on my first like Tinder or a bumble date. And it's weird because I used to live in Chicago and it was, you know, it's pretty conservative there, especially in like the earlier 2000s or like. Mm-hmm, that's when I was there. I made it to 2000 for early 2010s.

Like the boys are hot, but they were not about to like go and take you to a dinner. It was like, oh, let's just hang out at home, you know, like everyone's very little secret. So here all of a sudden it was cool to be trans and guys were down. So this guy was like, oh yeah, let's go to dinner. I don't think this was talking to see, but we went to El Chocodero right there on sunset.

It's a Spanish restaurant, Mexican restaurant. It was great. For me as a trans woman, I finally felt like, oh, I'm having like a cute date. Like this is at least so cool and forward and like, I'm like living and he's seen really cool. He was a comedian. Oh, oh no. Yeah. Oh no. And see, this is, I was like waiting for the turn or something. Yeah. Um, but he was a comedian and he was super sweet. He was definitely like from the Midwest, like his vibe. Then, you know, ended up we have a few drinks and going back to his place.

I'm like, I'm pretty sure it's just a hookup. I'm not looking for anything like crazy right now. But he was cute and had good conversation and I didn't think he was going to like, you know, skin my face off Important now. Yeah So we go into you know, his lovely it feels like a studio or one bedroom and he lived alone But it was very you know white boy in their 20s like yeah, like empty Gatorade bottle Surrounding the bed on the ground. Yeah, maybe a Tums on the floor.

Exactly. But on the walls was like all of this taxidermy. Like a girl in the ocean, tacked to the wood, stuffed, proud, displayed, like tons, I'm telling you. It was like, I walked in like to some oddity like store and I was like, this motherfucker is not stuffing me and then stuffing me. I'm like, yeah, no, unfortunately, Sasha, I do feel like your sort of, your stance on revealing your transness upfront is exactly what taxidermy people

should have to do. They should be on their bumble. Exactly. Like you can't you can't spring taxidermy on it. You can't just open the door. No. If I saw it. There has to be a warning. And not just one. Like oh like a sentimental me and my grandfather we hit this thing and like, you know, it was a fucking raccoon, a squirrel, like a deer, there was like bones and shit. I'm like, I'm being silly from Toy Story. What the fuck? That's terrifying. So I didn't let him fuck me. I just fucked him. I love the compromise there. I'm gonna stay in control of the

situation. I love the compromise there. I'm gonna stay in control of this situation at all times. He spent too much of his life and he needed a stuffing. He did need a stuffing! Oh my god! I did nail him to a board too. Yeah! And is he in your apartment on the wall still? Yeah.

Yeah. Flicks the camera around. I have a new rug. Did you give him any notes? Did you ask him about the taxidermy at all? Did you say like, hey, girls don't love this or? I was like, you know, when like you get a bad gif and your voice goes higher or like, you know, three times in a lie, your voice goes higher. I'm like, huh?

Taxidermy. What do you ask? Like, I don't know. My question is, is like, would it make it less weird or more weird to you if he didn't kill the animals himself? He just found the taxidermy. Like, which would you prefer? Like, if you found a man

who killed animals and stuff them, or you just found a man who found other people's killed animals who would stuff them? Or like, did you go out and buy it at like, one of those bougie taxidermy places? Right? No, exactly that. Yeah. I don't know. I just think that aesthetic isn't really my aesthetic. Right. Either way. Like, I can't, it doesn't matter. I think they're both red flags. Yeah. I don't think it matters which which way you go. Dead animals and like being like posting them up. Yeah. However they got there. You don't even have a bed frame. If you were

in Texas, but in LA, that's wild. Yeah. In a studio apartment, that's tough. I will say looking for the gun that he may have killed it with you know I'm like looking for a rifle on the wall. You went danger. But I do love that instead of leaving you're like how do I make this work for me? Like how do I get out? I look for a bet because if I'm not fucking somebody with all these dead animals looking at me. No. So we have to go into the other room where it was like okay now I'll fuck you and then I'll leave. Baby girl, you love an audience, I'm shocked. That is, I will say that is the best part

about being verse is like, there are people where I'm like, oh, I hate you, so I'll fuck you, but you ain't getting the prize, you know? Like there's a difference, there is a difference to like the, who gets to go back there And I'll fuck anything really Personally no matter what the personality is like no matter what's on the list, okay I'm as long as there's not as long as there's not as long as there's less than three katana swords on the wall

I will fuck you But that's the limit for me Sasha I will fuck you. But that's the limit for me. Sasha, was there anything that you learned from this about yourself, about dating, anything that you took with you that you have applied to your life today? Delete Bumble. No.

No. No. No. No, I did that. I did that crazy girl thing where I figured out his name and then his like Instagram and like, then I saw his comedy and I was like, that's a one night stand. Yes!

Oh yeah. Bad Gates. Bad Gates. Bad Gates. Bad Gates. I can't believe we are at our third storyteller. This has been so easy breezy. The stories have been so incredible.

And I happen to know that this last story is gonna be incredible as well because it comes from Brittany Ard. You have two very short stories and one longer one. Do you wanna start with your favorite short one and then we'll see what we, and then do the long and then maybe do the other short one if we have time or what, how do you wanna handle this, Brittany? You're in the driver's seat here.

So I... Do any of them fall under the themes of taxidermy and twins? Because I would be so thrilled. Yeah. No, but now I need to do better at my stories. I go on a lot of dates and the majority of them are bad. I exclusively only date red flags. So if you've dated me, like get a therapist, work on yourself. It's not good. Well, can't word that. But you are single, you are single currently. I am single and off the apps as of the end of the year.

So I'm like looking into cats and I've just, I'm on this whole loving myself thing and yes. But yes, I can't, I just can't. And so what I'm gonna tell you are actually three highlights from 2024. Like the three like best, worst parts. Yeah, we're figuring out what drove you to the cats, what drove you best, worst parts. Yeah, we're figuring out what drove you to the cats, what drove you to delete the apps.

What has driven you off the apps? Yeah, there will be no need for further discussion on why I am off the apps. And I started off just on Tinder because I was looking, I have recently divorced a few years ago, so like the last couple years have just been exploring my, you know, whatever I want to do. So the year began with, we'll just call him the lumberjack, and he lives about an hour

and a half away, but we had met for a beer, super casual. I mean, I've got to say, this all sounds really promising. He's a lumberjack who lives an hour and a half away. That means he's hot and he's gonna give you space. Like perfect for me. I was very excited. Our first date was really casual. We had a couple beers.

It was good conversation. I was excited. And then we had a great kiss good night and decided that the following weekend, he was gonna to come stay the weekend with me. And I'm like, Lumberjack sex like this can't be bad. Ronnie Paper Towel motherfucker get in here. Yeah. And then I'm I was actively dating. And so I had plans to go on a date with somebody else. The first date with somebody else that week. And he got real salty about it.

And he's like, Well well we went on a date I don't want you seeing other people and I'm like we've had one date and My therapist says I'm not allowed to get exclusive until I get to know someone That's what I'm working on and he did you tell him that you were going on another date? Or how did he find out you were going on? So I don't like offer up that information but he asked like what are you doing tonight and I said oh I have another date because I'm honest and open about that. So I don't like rub it in their face but I wanted him to know and so he got salty about

it and I told him the therapist thing and he was like you can tell your therapist to suck my dick. Whoa. So he needs therapy. And I was like, I don't know that this is going to work. Like, I feel like maybe we're not on the same page. And I don't know about you guys, but I have this genetic defect where good dick makes me fucking dumb as shit. No, I think, yeah, you're speaking to people who understand your story. So I was like, okay, well, come spend the weekend with me. We'll sort of suss it out. I wasn't planning on spending my life with him, but we ended up spending the weekend together. It was great. And then he kept going on about how I wasn't allowed to see people, but he traveled for work. And so he was going to

come to my house every couple of weeks. And like that was the relationship and I wasn't allowed to date. So it ended that one. That was the beginning of my year. In the middle of the year, I met up with a guy off of Tinder and it was specifically meant to be like a one night thing. Like we knew it was a hookup. Love that. I went and met him, had a couple drinks, because I pretend like I can suss out a sociopath into drinks, even though I can't after a year

in a relationship. But. Oh, it's your superpower, I love it. I go and meet him, his cologne was debilitating, but he was so hot. And I'm like, okay, I've already prepped and shaved. Like, let's just, you know. Yeah. Oh, been there. That is so true that like, I'm not getting these legs shaved. Yeah, like,

If you build it, they better be coming. Yeah, I put in the work. And I better be coming too. And he had been texting me the whole day like, he's going to kill this kitty and like, he's going to, you know, like he's just all about this. And I'm like, all right, he's hot. I did not know straight people talk like that. That's crazy.

Oh, I have. And I, but I will tell you that the more they talk about that, the worse the sexes. Every single time. Oh. Like the sex is. Every single time. Oh! Like the more game. I always ask the trans, people who like trans women, when they say all this stuff, I'm like, do you say this to like cis women? Is this some crazy shit you guys be saying?

Apparently. We could have a whole other episode on this stuff. Yeah, I think, yeah, we need to have a splinter podcast about just that. Everybody comparing notes, getting out the text messages. I'm like, okay, we're gonna, you know, whatever. We're gonna go back to my place. So we go back to my place and have the most uneventful sex ever.

I like, there was no killing of the kitty. It was- The kitty was alive and well by the end of the session. But at the, it didn't even notice that it had, you know, like been involved in anything. There was no taxidermy. There was nothing. There was nothing.

There was nothing. You got catnip. You got catnip. Yeah. But during sex, he kept saying, very good, Britt. Very good. Very good, Britt. Like a lot.

And so I'm like, well, I guess I'm doing a good job, which really at the end of the day is all that matters to me. So he laughed and I'm like, whatever chalked up to like bad Tinder date. Two days later, he texts me a picture of another man and he's like, hey, my friend also likes older women. Can he come over tonight? Oh, and I was like, I was like, um, thanks, but clearly I'm capable of finding bad dick all on my own. And I don't need to be trafficked today. Like I'm good. Please don't contact me again. That's so crazy. First of all, the double whammy of my friend

likes older women. He would not make it out of that alive if he said that. I've actually, no, I recently did ask someone I was about to have sex with how old they were. They said 24, I made a face and he stopped me and said, oh no, no, no, don't worry. It's a big thing with me and my friends that I love to have sex with older guys. See, I hate that.

And they think that you wanna hear it, but in See, I hate that. And they think that you want to hear it, but in fact, you never do. No. Oh, hey, Mar. And he was much younger. So that was the middle of my year. And I actually got off. I love that you got baby girl before we even

knew what baby girl was. The good Brit stuff is so baby girl coded. But he wasn't even like good girl or any, it was just very good Brit. And I felt like I was like in math class and he's like, you're doing a good job. I get pat on the head vibes from that. Yeah, it was.

Kiss on the forehead, pat on the head, yeah. But how sweet that he was looking out for his friend. I mean, you know Thoughtful guy and hey, I hooked up with this older chick Again that is like gay guy behavior that I did not even existed among straight men I guess it's just male behavior at this point. I think it's male. Yeah. So bring us home. How did your year end, Britt? So after that and a couple other things, I actually got off the apps. My podcast was coming out. So I just sort of stopped dating for a while. And then I got back on around

Thanksgiving and I'm like, I'm just going to see if I can rebuild a roster, you know, like something to get ready for 2025. There's this one guy, we ended up going on three dates and on the third date it was at his house, Netflix and chill, you know, and he had a good vibe. He was kicking off some red flags, so I knew it wasn't going to be like long term. But I'm like, you know, guys like that are usually good in bed, like guys that are players. You know, and I'm like, okay, so we're at his house. I was eating some food, we were watching a movie, and then we like go into his room. And we walk into his room and he goes, Alexa,

sexy time. Oh, no. Oh no, oh God. And the lights go down. One of my Spotify playlists comes on. And then Alexa says, Britt, please proceed to the bed. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She did not, Alexa did not do that. He program.

I didn't even know Alexa was like such a wingman. That is so crazy. I can't get my Alexa to make my fucking grocery list. And this man has a personal butler that is ushering you to the bed and like vetting you and playing with your playlist and first. I need your playlist. I mean, come on. It is good.

And also, can you, listen, I actually really respect people who have their lighting and music systems so cohesively hooked up and connected in their home that they can do that. But if you're going to do it, do not make the command something like sexy time. I've been in places where the guy's just like, hey Alexa, chill time. You know, and we all know what that means. We all know what that means and that's okay. I don't think he was trying to make a subtle point. I think that he was.

He was gunning for the bullseye. I haven't gotten to the best part though. Oh geez, what? So I look, this guy's actually a little bit older than me. His place was clean, like nice bedding. He had a bed frame. I was like, oh. Again, the bar is set so fucking low for straight women.

It is so sad, but keep going. So I look at the bed and it's neatly made. And then there's four straps at each corner, just gently like laid there. And there had been zero discussion. No kink shaming to anyone ever. But there just had been no discussion, right? And this was like her first time.

And I was like, hey, do I need a safe word? And he's like, oh no, that's just a joke. And I'm like, hmm. Come on. Yeah. I don't think so. So that was how I ended my 2024. Very good, Britt.

Very good. Listen, again, we want to reiterate, we love kink here on the Bad Dates podcast, but you must disclose and you must get consent. Half these motherfuckers out here saying don't think shame me Don't think shame me are spraying straps on you on the first date without telling you also Don't don't then like gatekeep and be like, oh no, that's for somebody else. Not you Like people don't tie straps to their bed to be funny. What's the punchline, motherfucker? Yeah.

Nobody deserves my kitty anymore. You're going to have to work for it, because I just don't need that validation. So I don't know. It's kind of a beautiful place to be. I've committed a lot. In the many dozens of episodes of this podcast that I have posted, this is the first time

I've heard it called a kitty on the podcast. You know, I don't love it. What do we call it? My dad might listen to this and he's going to have to hear that strap story and I didn't want to be like, my pussy. There's not a great answer because all of them sound aggressive in their own ways, but is the first. They just wanted to note the first.

Thank you guys so much for spilling your guts here with me on the podcast. Nikki, where can the people find you if they are looking for more Nikki Boyer content? Well, you can find me at taxidermy lumberjack on Instagram. Hashtag kitty, kitty, kitty. Please follow me at Nicky Boyer everywhere. And if you really want to support me come April, I think the spring, my show Dying for Sex will be on Hulu. And I would love if you watched.

It would really mean a lot to me. Congrats. Thank you. Incredible. Queen Sasha Colby, where can the people find to me. Thank you. Incredible. Thank you. Incredible. Queen Sasha Colby, where can the people find you? What are you doing these days that you want them to know about? You can find me on all social media, Sasha Colby. And let's see, I will be touring all over the country.

I'll be in Asia, actually, in March. I'll be doing Manila, Bangkok, Singapore, and Taiwan. I want to be excited about that. I'll be doing an Australia tour in April with Anitra. Oh, amazing. And World Pride in DC. So we'll see how that goes, kids. Godspeed and good luck. Brittany Arndt, where can the people find you?

What are you working on these days? So social media, britney.ard everywhere, or my website, Britney Ard. Season two of the podcast just released at the beginning of the year, so we're a couple episodes in, and it's doing phenomenal. We have over five million downloads on season one. That's amazing. Congratulations.

Yeah, it's been phenomenal. And I am new to this whole industry. So it's been a wild ride. But type in my name anywhere and all the information I do will pop up. Amazing. Amazing. You got a whole first season to binge and an incredible second season coming out now. Go and seek that out.

Thank you all so much for joining us. This has been another episode of Bad Dates. If you like the pod, if you like what you heard today, please give us a rating and a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you're listening to this right now. Five stars helps other people find the podcast. Again, if you have a story or a piece of advice that you would like answered on podcasts, email us at baddatespod at gmail.com.

We'll be back next week with another panel with more stories from the trenches of dating, hooking up and relationships. I'm Joel Kim Booster, goodbye. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited and engineered by Devon Torrey Bryant.

Produced by Anne Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana. Executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky.

Music by Cushi and Evan Schleder. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3283. That's 984-265-3283. That's all for this week. We will be back for more Bad Dates!