Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - BAD DATES LIVE! COMING SOON!

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

In this special bulletin from Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster wants to let you know about our next live show, at Dynasty Typewriter in LA and streaming everywhere else on June 24th! If you’re in LA, grab tickets to see the show HERE, and if you’re everywhere else, you can stream the show as it happens on Dynasty.TV, tickets HERE! We’d love to have your bad date story submissions, whether you’re in the room or streaming at home, so take a listen to the stories from our audience members Stacey and Katya, from our show this past January at SF Sketchfest, and send us your own stories at 984-265-3283 or email us at [e-mail]. Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Tickets in person: https://www.squadup.com/events/bad-dates-w-joel-kim-boosterTickets streaming: https://www.dynasty.tv/products/bad-dates-07-24-25-7-30pmpt Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Bad Dates it live streaming on dynasty.tv. We love hearing from you. So please, if you'd like to be included in the live show center, bad date stories to bad dates, pod at gmail.com and we'll unpack them live with our special guests. Our last live show at sketch fest in January was such a blast. We had Peaches Christ, Dave Mizoni and Spike Einbinder and our audience members, Stacey and Katya. Spoiler alert, love finds a way, and I do need you guys to boost my WikiFeet score still. Now, please enjoy Stacey and Katya's dating trauma, and happy pride. Bad Dates. I was on my way here. I got stuck in traffic because there was an anti-abortion protest happening in the Castro. And I was like, babes, do you know where you are?

There's not a lot of abortions happening here. Not a lot of babies being made, but boy do we try. Hey, it's Hey, it's Hey, it's Hey, it's Hey, it's Hey, it's Hey, it's

Hey, it's Hey, it's Hey, it's Hey, it's Hello! How are we doing in San Francisco? Welcome to another episode of the Bad Dates Podcast. I am your host Joel Kim Booster. Thank you so much. We are in San Francisco today and we will be going in deep on some terrible, no-good bad date stories from an incredible panel of guests. I cannot wait to introduce them.

I'm going to do it right now, because I just can't wait. First up, somebody that I have known for a decade truly has come up in the trenches with me. So incredible. Please give it up for Dave Mazzone everybody! Crowd cheers Incredible, incredible. Take your seat please. Another person who has seen me at open mics for the last 10 years, it's Spike Eyebinder everybody! Crowd cheers And last but certainly not least, local legend, someone who's been a huge inspiration to me

for a long time, please give it up for Peaches Christ! Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for joining us, you guys. Beautiful, beautiful. I'm going to sit now. Stacey, thank you so much for joining us, you guys. Beautiful, beautiful. I'm gonna sit now. Stacy, are you here? Yeah. You are.

So what we're gonna do to start the podcast is I'm gonna read a little bit of a story from Stacy, who had a bad date experience herself. And we're gonna digest it and really get to the meat of it and figure out what went wrong, okay? So let me pull this up really quick from Stacy. Bad dates. I just moved to Santa Barbara.

Well, that was your first mistake. I met this guy at a coffee shop while he was doing work for his solar energy company. We agreed to continue our conversation at dinner. He picks me up a couple days later wearing skinny stonewashed jeans, flannel, and a beanie. He was in his later 30s. I should have ran then.

But then, you wouldn't get to hear this amazing story. After 30 minutes with this guy, I learned he used to be addicted to cocaine, he was an extremely close talker, and to get over his last relationship, he went to live in the forest for five months. The oysters we ordered came to the table, and he says, you know why oysters are an aphrodisiac, right? Uh, no, why? Because they make your load bigger.

Okay, a few things. That is not an accurate statement. Oysters don't make you cum more. Cumming a lot does not make something an aphrodisiac. I've known you for less than an hour, and you used the word load with me. Needless to say, I walked out on that date shortly after. Give it up for Stacey, everybody.

Stacey, can you stand up for us, please, so Stuart can find you? Stacey, everybody. Stacey, can you stand up for us, please, so Stuart can find you? Hi, Stacey. My name is Spike Einbinder. So his cocaine addiction, did it end, like, how many minutes before the date? It sounded like he had gotten over it at the time,

but, yeah, I'm not sure. But the closed talker and talking about loads, I'm like, that's active looking. That's active looking. Yeah. He did a bump before you got there, for sure. And then we're like, that's the last one. Yeah.

Hello, how are you? I can't quite see you, but I'm Dave. It's nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. So talk to me about the forest getaway, though. Was it like glamping? No, it was like a tree house. A tree house?

He was doing eco-terrorism. That's awesome. I get like, online they come for me with these tree houses a lot. These Airbnb's, they can be quite romantic and quite architecturally pleasing. Wait, but was it a tree house he built himself or was it some VC funded bullshit tree house, San Francisco shit? It was like 10 years ago, so it probably wasn't one of the fanciest.

Like, I imagine it was just, yeah. It wasn't an Airbnb option. Perhaps something he built, yeah. Yeah, cool. Did he have a big dick? Did not want to find out. Peaches? I'm Peaches.

Hi! Oh, I know you! Thank you. You know, some... St Stacy is a gender neutral name. I know a gay guy named Stacy, but you're not a gay guy. However, if you were, this would be a totally normal date. And, you know, I was sitting here going, like, I don't see the problem, quite frankly.

We always talk about loads and cocaine and vacations, you know, so I just feel like, you know, grab some poppers, give it a whirl, try being gay. You know? What this? Yeah. Woo! Speaking of loads though, I just want to ask really quickly because there's just

there's there's some disagreement I think in the communities as I want to hear from straight women do you care about the amount of load you receive? No. No so it can be drip, drip, drip, that's it. What? What? A leaky faucet. What the fuck is wrong with you? Wow. You want ropes. You want ropes sometimes. I know wrong with you? You don't care. Wow. You want ropes. You want ropes. I know. Do you care, really?

I'm kind of like, if you are not coming at all, it means you just came, and where the fuck have you been? It's also like, She's one of those. If I can, it's like, I've been cheated on. I'm sorry.

It's okay. If I can, like, if you're coming inside me, I'm not gonna do like a forensic excavation of it. Right, right, right, right, right, right. But if I can see it can, like, if you're coming inside me, I'm not gonna do, like, a forensic excavation of it. Right, right, right, right, right. But if I can see it, then, like, let's make it a show. I wanna see ropes. Ropes.

Ropes is not a rope. I was born on the 4th of July. I want fireworks. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, to be fair, straight women also aren't putting ads online where they're gonna have their vaginas open from 6 to 11 for people to stop by and pump and dump. So, you know.

That's how my parents actually met. Hey, well, I was about to say, yes, there are some women in, this is San Francisco, okay? I'm sorry, I would color me corrected. Yeah. Pump and dump for everything. Wait, are women hosting pump and dumps in San Francisco? Yeah!

I didn't know that. Yeah! Really? That's amazing. Yeah, when is this over? Cause I'm going kind of. Yeah, yeah. We gotta get this on the road. That's amazing. When is this over? Cause I'm going crazy. Yeah. I gotta get this on the road.

Just to pump. Where is it happening? No, no dump. No dump. Is it at Badlands? What's going on? No. So my question for you, Stacey,

is you really went in on the skinny jeans, beanie and flannel. And 10 years ago, I gotta say, that seems correct. That seems like every Apple employee I've ever met. With flip flannel. And ten years ago, I gotta say, that seems correct. That seems like every Apple employee I've ever met. With flip-flops. Oh, with flip-flops. You left that out and that is vile. It's crazy to be open-toed first date. I think that's, I mean, have some self-respect. I've engaged and my fiance has never seen my feet. Yeah. Better to keep it that way. I would never want him to.

I'm boots on the beach. I don't do that. Yeah, exactly. Wedding night only is what I think. And then he reveals. Are you guys not into feet stuff? It's private. That means yes. Do you guys know your WikiFeet scores by any chance?

What? Yeah. Are you your WikiFeet scores by any chance? What? Yeah. Are you on WikiFeet? Mine don't show up on camera because I'm a vampire. Oh, okay. My WikiFeet score is really low, so if you guys could fix that for me, that would be great. Okay, this must be a generational thing. What is WikiFeet?

It's just a place where you go and rate people's feet. It's like Wikipedia for where you go and rate people's feet. It's like Wikipedia for feet. For feet. In the early days of the internet, I used to visit RateMyPoo.com. Oh. I don't know if that's still a thing,

but I could spend hours rating turds. Was it like... Was it like... Were you using, like, the Bristol stool chart, or was it? Literally, literally people would anonymously post pictures of their bowel movement and then collectively we'd all rate them and every day there was a top 10.

Wow. And that was the golden era of the internet, I'm telling you. It truly was. It's all downhill from there. I gotta ask you though, like, what are you looking for in a good shit? Like what makes a top ten shit?

Honestly, I love grossing myself out, so I was disgusted by it. I'm not a scat queen. And so it was mostly something fun to do that- You're not beating the allegations right now, Peaches. I gotta tell you. I spent hours looking at it. No. It was just something I liked.

It was kind of like in the era of Two Girls, One Cup. Were you like, but were you like her? We got fans in the audience. Or what was it? I just like basically, I think the idea, it was like everything. It came down to size and girth, you know? Incredible.

I feel like I would be looking for like a story, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it started here and then things got really bad., like, a story, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it started here, and then things got really bad. And then Chipotle happened, you know? Or like a jump scare, being like, oh, my God, oh, you had beats. Got it. Those were good.

We've all been there. We've all been there. Now, Stacey, do you know where this man is today? God, no. Check your other folder on Facebook. The people you may know requests, he might be in there. Do you know what happened to his solar energy company? Absolutely not. I am surprised I actually never saw him again and Santa Barbara is like a small town, but we never crossed paths again, luckily. And how long have you been back here? Seven years

now. Seven years now. Amazing. And I'm married now, so. Oh, congratulations. She made it out alive. She's a survivor. Congratulations, and I hope that his solar energy company saves the world. Yeah, he may be rich right now. I don't want you to look him up, but it's

a time for solar energy. And he's definitely still in skating jigs. The sun's never sunned this hard. He's probably still doing cocaine. Or if we're lucky, he could be doing a Ted Kaczynski, and we'll all find out soon where he's been. Yeah. Living in the woods.

Now is Katya here as well? Yes. Oh, she's really close. Hello, Katya. We're going to do your letter as well, okay? This one is very sweet, I love it. It was the early 2000s, and I had just ended things with my high school sweetheart.

A friend dragged me to a blind double date at the Metreon. Date was meh, he played Dance Dance Revolution. We got popcorn, and he went to find our seats. Once the movie started, he didn't say a word and walked out. He never came back. Perhaps he was ill? His friend checked the bathroom, but he wasn't there. I wasn't bothered. I wanted to go home and smoke.

We turned the corner and ran into a throng of people cheering. As we approached, there he was in all his sweaty splendor playing Dance Dance Revolution. He was soaked in sweat living his dream. We are now married and he's founding member of the Jabberwockies. Kidding. Fuck you Katya, I never saw him again.

Cheers. Amazing story. Katya, thank you so much. Where are you? Katya, I can't see you. Are you Asian? Yes or no? No, I'm Dominican.

Oh, wow. I figured Dance Dance Revolution. Yeah. He was Asian. He was Asian. So I was close. Was it not attractive to you that he was an excellent Dance Dance Revolution star?

No. Say it into the mic with your full chest, babe. No, babe, no. What movie was it? That's what I wanna know. Oh, darling. It was 25 years ago. I do not remember, I'm sorry.

25 years ago? Something tells me that he would remember and you fumbled an autistic person, basically. Oh, yeah. You look incredible. Thank you. Oh my God, what SPF do you use? No, don't tell anyone else.

Keep it to yourself. It's the substance. It's wine. So what lesson did you learn from this state that you think that took you to 25 years now you? Thank you for asking this question. I actually thought about this because I thought you were going to ask this.

Yeah. And what I learned is to never trust that friend again. I went out on two other dates that she sent me on, and they were equally as bad. If not worse. Are you still friends with this person? Absolutely not. Ha ha ha!

Whoo! Has anyone in here ever been set up by a friend successfully? They're lying. This is rough. Why do you think it's so hard for friends to find other people for their friends? One time I was set up that led to a relationship. It ended up being detrimental to my life, but it was good for a while. But the category that I was set up in was,

I was going to a concert, Wolf Parade. It was a very long time ago. I lived through the Indie Sleeves movement, I'm a survivor. And my friend invited the other person because we both, quote unquote, had red hair and acne. So we were, in his eyes, we were a perfect match, yes. It was two by two. Yeah.

Oh my God, incredible. Have you ever been set up by a friend? No, well, I feel like if I've ever been set up by somebody, I'm not on the date. I'm just thinking, why did this, why did my friend think I would like this person the whole time and trying to figure out what that means about me and my friend's relationship. It's a mirror. It is a full mirror. When your friend sets you up with a person,

you are looking into the mirror of how they see you. Exactly, I'm like, this is what Rebecca thinks I need? It's crazy. Peaches, have you ever been set up? No, I've never been set up. Have you set up anybody? No, I guess I haven't. I was just sitting here thinking, well, if you were good at that, right, like if it were

a real thing and matchmakers could really, you know, succeed, it would be quite the business. And so we don't see them very often succeed in business because it doesn't work. Yeah, f*** Patty Stankers drag. Are you in a relationship now? Katya? I am. I am. You are? And how long have you been in a relationship for? 13 years. 13 years. Amazing. And how did you meet your partner now? At Dolores Park in San Francisco. At the arcade? Yeah. At the

arcade. Playing Guitar Hero. That's amazing. Dolores Park, I mean, she was cruising and it worked. And it worked. And it worked, it worked, amazing. Do you have any advice for our single friends in the audience tonight? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha park and legs wide open. If you build it, they will come. That's the advice. If you build it, they will come. Wow. Yeah. Have you, have you, either of you been to the Dolores Park yet? Not yet. It's an incredible place to go and be cold, you know. I can't wait. I love it. I love it so much. They call it, part of it is

the gay beach. The fruit park. There's sort of a shelf, yes, exactly. And it's that park, you know, that has the beautiful hill with the grass and then the city skyline. It's quite good. I'll be going there after this. But it's not that good for cruising, is it? For lesbians? For Katya, it was.

Oh, yeah, except Katya, she got lucky. Yeah. Lesbians do really well in the early 2000s at the, on the fruit shelf. Oh. Oh. Not sure. Are you a lesbian?

I am. Oh. The problem was that they were setting you up with men. Yeah. Ah. It's a bigger issue here. Hello. You should have led with that.

Yeah. You've been hiding something. This is like. It's not rocket science. This is fully like the usual suspects at the end. We're like sort of like twist ending. M. Night Shyamalan. Hello.

Like what? Okay. I'm kinda major. Thank you Katya. I love our lesbian fans. Incredible, incredible, incredible. Bad Dates. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media

created by Robert Cohen, executive producers are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. We will be back for more. Bad Dates. Smart. Less. Media.