Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Call Me Ursula, Bitch (w/ Moshe Kasher, Rachel Feinstein, and Joyelle Nicole Johnson)

Episode Date: December 4, 2023

On this episode of Bad Dates, Jameela welcomes comedians Moshe Kasher, Rachel Feinstein, and Joyelle Nicole Johnson to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Moshe swiped where others should have wiped, Rachel suffers a surfeit of second outfits, and Joyelle’s date kills the vibe when he offers Cos as his cause. If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I have had sex in a group setting only once at a party that used to be called kinky salon in San Francisco that was like one half-rave one half like You know swing or party. Have you anyone here ever? No, I already knew the answer to it. It just felt like a hard no, but I thought I figured out a respect I would ask nobody you know you've been to the sex party right before the four days and nights there. I'm in the winter of my life, but I spent many of the day and night at King East Laude getting slam-rotted. That's it. Rachel finds Dine, Mocha Cashier. And Joel, Nicole Johnson, welcome to Bad Dates. Hello.

Hey Boo. Hi. Oh, I was going to say Hey Boo. Well, there you go, baby, just did it. That felt so good. It felt so natural and real. It looked good coming out of your mouth. How is everyone?

Mocha, how are you doing? How's everything? How's your wonderful wife who I'm in love with? I'm great. I'm in love with her as well. I fight you. You can. That sounds hot to me.

Are you? Is that a electric fireplace behind you? It is. I don't know how to turn it on. So it's just been sitting here unused for eight months. It could be fake, it could well be fake. I just bought an electric fireplace on offer up and I beat the poor guy up so bad.

I felt so bad. I was like negotiating with him so hard because I get like a special thrill out of negotiating and getting really good deals on Craigslist and offer up. But I felt so bad and Natasha was talking so much shit that I emailed the guy and was like, hey, can I get your Vennball, I'm a sendi. How much did you get all? I mean, it was insane.

It was a thousand dollar electric fireplace and then we had a deal for 400, but then he had made a grave mistake, Joil. He had lowered the price for others as I started negotiating with him. So I knew I had him. I knew I could get that thing for two hours. We had a ride by the bar second. Oh, yeah. This is why people hate celebrities because they are. Yeah, that's a good part of it. People think that they do. When it comes to romance, what are you like? Do you, a lover or a generous love. Do you enjoy dating? I feel like you've had a

ladies man vibe for a while. Why be married for 10 years? So dating these days means something very different than it used to, but I would say that when I was in my ho phase, I would be unbelievably generous. I would say I was overly generous. I would say I hit rock bottom on sexual compulsivity. Right, right, right. But a giver, not a tape. Well, I guess so.

Yeah, Moshe had a wild teen years. You got all fucking work. My ho face, it was from 15 to 16 and a half. I wents, teen years. You got all of that fucking way. I was my whole face. It was from 15 to 16 and a half. I went crazy, you guys. I'm not. And Joel, what would you say you felt about dating? What do you feel about dating?

Do you love it? Do you feel like you are a good person to date? I don't think I'm a good person to date just because of my occupation. I'm a comedian and men don't like it if you roast them to their faces. So if a dude's on a date and he's true, because they always want to make us laugh. And if a dude, if you didn't funny, I'm not going to laugh. And they're like, what? I thought you were a comedian.

I'm like, I am a comedian. That's why I'm not laughing. I am a comedian, yeah. I'm right to what about you? Yeah, I can't say that I enjoyed it. I also zoomed past every red flag. And mostly dated active alcoholics, like throbbing, active, like the kind of alcoholic that just starts

just glaring, sort of swaying and glaring at somebody at the bar at a certain point during the evening. I dated this one guy that just like around 3am, which just sort of started glaring. And I'm like, and it would always be like some person, like some woman, like some widow or something. I'm like, what's your beef with Virginia at this Port Authority bar?

So, like really nice. Like a Port Authority bar. That isn't alcohol. I'm not named wrong, but I come from mine. All right, generational wealth, clearly. Bad dates. Bad dates. Hello listeners. This is Mike Corey of Against the Odds.

You might know that I adventure around the world while recording this podcast. And over the years, I've learned that where I stay when I travel can make all the difference. Airbnb has been my go-to place for finding the perfect accommodations. Because with hotels, you often don't have the luxury of extra space or privacy. Recently, I had a bunch of friends come down to visit in Mexico. We found this large house

and the place had a pool, a barbecue, a kitchen, and a great big living room to play cards, watch movies, and just chill out. It honestly made all the difference in the trip. It felt like we were all roommates again. The next time you're planning a trip, whether it's with friends, family or yourself, check out Airbnb to find something you won't forget. I'm Rob Briden and welcome to my podcast, Briden and we are now in our third series. Among those still to come is some Michael Paling, the comedy duo Egg and Robbie Williams.

The list goes on. So do sit back and enjoy. Brighten and on Amazon Music, Wondery Plus or wherever you get your podcasts. I want to start, if possible, with Moshe's story. Moshe, your story is called Burning Man Sex and I have never been to Burning Man. I know almost nothing about it. I'm dying to learn more. Well, I would say that Burning Man and Sex are, they're very linked and as the years have

gone on, I would say that the sexual exhibitionism has gotten a little bit less, but I mean, I used to, the first year I went to Burning Man, I was 16 because I heard there was a rave in the desert and that was kind of enough to get me to pack up a Ford S-Cort and drive seven hours in the middle of the night. The first year I went there, I was 16 and I remember I made love to a woman in the open desert where people were driving past us at like 75 miles an hour. We were like rolling kind of military style as vehicles would come by and nearly got run over. It was some of the most exciting, some of the fun is sex. I would say that.

I would say you didn't make a love. That's just fucking. What was I supposed to say to you? Make love and theory. Okay, so I'm knee deep in desert. That's just fucking smashing this. I was trying to be classy. It's called slamming through.

You slam through some push. Joel, you had a question? Yeah, where did you? Mama, thank you was going. When you were 16, and you left the house to go to a sex party in the desert, would you tell your mama? I gotta be honest with you, Joel.

If you thought you couldn't relate to me earlier, you're really gonna not relate to me now. I could have told and maybe did tell my mom, hey mom, I'm gonna be going to a sex party in the desert and my mom will be like, make sure you bring condoms. That's my boy ruffling my hair. I mean, my mom could not have been, my mom was sex positive to the degree

that it was a little much, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like an orgasm journal. Yeah. Oh, it's like, when I first, when she found porn in my room when I was young, she took me to the feminist vibrator shop to buy me some text-based lesbian erotica because she wanted to make sure that I was like,

I was gonna be looking at porn. It would have like some positive imagery and some expository prose poetry before we really got to the good stuff. So that's kind of my mom's energy. She didn't care. But. That explains a lot.

No, I had a surprise. Yeah. So, so, so Burning Man is, is, is it an iteration of just the wildness of the Bay Area, for sure. Oh, group sex. I got off track. Group sex. I once, I once did have sex at have sex at the party called kinky salon

and it was, I would say more awkward than it was excited. I felt like I was in my parents' key party. Like there was nothing about it that felt like hot just to have like a random rave raver that you could smell right next to you. Is he just pounding away trying to make eye contact? It wasn't exactly my thing. rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave rave The attitude is so permissive at Burning Man, you kind of feel like anything could happen at any time and anything kind of could. And all of a sudden, these two women, they leaned over me and they started making out.

And I was like, oh, okay, this sounds, this is good. And then they literally, like they kind of like fell on top of each other into a kind of a, they just started just, full on 69 on my lap, just fucking each other. And I was like, oh great, lucky seat. And I, my hands were moving. I to touch them, because I was like,

I just assumed in my default position as a man, like, oh, this is about me. And I'm gonna jump in. The buffet has arrived and I'm going to die. And my hands were moving to touch them. When I had this thought, I'm glad I had the thought. I go, just based, I don't know what it was that I smelled, but I was like, no,

I don't mean smelled literally. I mean, like psychically, I was like, I don't think this is about me. I don't think. That's because your mother took you to read lesbian erotic on everyone. And all of that went in your subconscious and just as you were about to touch,

that was your mother's hand that theoretically whipped your hand away and was like, no, no. And then, and then, and then, and then, and fisted both girls. Yeah, no, I, it was a thought, I just all of a sudden realized like, oh, they're not here for me. They don't, this was not an invitation.

This was, I'm furniture. I need to just sit still and thank God that I had this seat and just observe what I observed. This isn't about me. And I was right, they did their thing, they walked off, they never spoke to me or made eye contact with me. But that was an exciting night. But I always talk to observe like this,

just kind of lean in, everyone likes that. It just takes you out. Take out those glasses. Oh, I could. I think I never handle any of these situations. I am so shy about other people's sex that I can't watch sex scenes and films. I have to fast forward them.

Even not just like, it's particularly bad if I'm in like a cinema. So I don't go to the cinema if I know there's going to be sexy scenes because I don't know what to do with my face. I just don't know what my face is going to do. And I don't want to find out via someone. If someone looks over at me, I don't know what I'm doing. Do you think it could be a rouse or a barrage? I don't know.

I'm worried that it's going to be a, I don't know what I'm going to look like. I don't know if I'm going to look feral or something. And so I've created a face that I make that I plan in advance when a sex scene begins, which is a sort of pleasant half-smile. So, okay. I'm like, you'd be really early. Which is definitely creepy.

It's sort of just like a, huh, this is, this is pleasant. And I'm happy with it. It is the thumbs up of the face that I do. Like, I can't even watch sex scenes on my own. I have to fast forward because I feel so shy. I am amazed when people can do public sex. I think it's incredible. Yeah, and I can do it. It's too much cast. There's too much going on. I'm like, no one's, also I'm probably just not that good in bed that I can deal with a lot

of variables. No one's ever been able to look at me in the eyes and say that I'm the best they've ever had. No one's been able to tell me that lie and make eye contact at the same time. I thought you had to come to the studio. Let's ask you. In terms of podcasts, co-guests, Rachel, I gotta tell you, in terms of podcasts, co-guests, you're the best I've ever had. I can tell you that with a straight face. I mean it.

Very rude, very rude, Mochelle. While I'm right here. Oh, well, I was trying to blip her up, too. Well, no, I wasn't trying to break in me down. See how you do it. Very rude, very rude, Mochot while I'm writing. Oh, well, I was trying to blip her up, too. Well, no, I wasn't trying to break it. I'm breaking me down. See how you do it? All right, my whole everyone fools out. Mochot, keep telling me about

fucking everyone in the desert. Yes, so. The opener story, by the way. Right, right, right. This, okay, so, so, the complicate, so there's a lot of sex that's been had at Burning Man over the year by me and by many others. But the complicated part of Burning Man's sex is quite obvious when you think of it, which is hygiene. It's dirty out there. People are dirty. They're not showering very much.

There's dust everywhere. And this is a story about hygiene and sex at Burning Man. I, one year, I think it was 2001. I remember, because I ended up the subject of the story that I was on the date with became and still is a very dear friend, I'm still in touch with her. So I remember when I met her, but that year we had a romance. And it was a very sweet, actually, kind of like, real romance, like we were kind of falling for each other.

And when we first finally made out, I think it was Saturday night of the burn. We were holding hands the whole night. Important information. We were holding hands all night. It was a sweet little romance at Burning Man holding hands. And we were walking from camp to camp and dancing and have a wonderful time

and it was about time for everything to wrap up. So it was like a date. It was like a date at the weirdest party on earth, holding hands, time to go back to my tent and actually consummate and actually, you know, be intimate for real for the first time. Holding hands, and we walk from one side of the event all the way across, supply it to the other side,

which is probably 40 minute walk. So we've been holding hands quite a while. And we finally get to the, near my my camp and we get to the, I see that there's the last portapati line before we will get to my camp and I got to go. So I say, hold on a moment, my loving, burning man, my little hippie bride, you wait here. I'm going to be, I'm going to just pop into this portapati. You need to go. Did you need to go? I needed, I think based on the story, I must gonna just pop into this port of party. Do you need to go? Or did you need to go?

I needed, I think based on the story, I must have needed to go because, well, you'll see, it involves me, I went into the port of party and it was dark. I didn't have a flashlight on and I thought, before I sit down, I assume I had to go because I was gonna sit down. Before you sit down in a port of party.

Oh my God, I have to go. I'm not an expert. Fast and easy. Listen, I had a, Joel, I had a strategy, which I have since abandoned. I said I will grab a bunch of toilet paper from the, from the role, and I will just do a quick swipe, just a quick little swipe across the toilet bowl,

just a swipe, a quick little swipe, just a little swipe. It's called eight paths. It's actually people like you. It's a quick eight's pass. Yeah. Actually, it's a disease. It's because of people like you. And the attitude that you just brought to my activity is the reason I have this story in the first place

with your questioning why a person would sit down in the first place. It's you're actually the villain in this story. I will be the villain. Because, as I, as I did my quick, AIDS swipe is very, just said, I do my quick little swipe of the pee across. I just credit card swiped my hand

through a pile of ice cold human shit. And now I've got a dilemma. There is a woman, five feet away from me who I've been holding hands with for the last 45 minutes to AKA all night. And I have got a full like shit mitt, I mean emanating from my hand, I can feel the coldness of it.

The smell by the way at this point doesn't even bother me. It's very visceral. Yes Rachel, you look like you have a question. No, no, no, I'm just like, I want it, I'm here, I'm present. And I'm present. I mean, I was panicking. I'm like, I truly, what does one do? I didn't know what to do.

My daughter's home, perfect timing. And so I didn't know what to do. I'm screaming to, I'm screaming to, okay, I love you. I'm telling a very important story about before you, I met you. She's my daughter screaming daddy, daddy, I'm down here. I'm down here. That's collection of words.

Hold on. Before I met you. I'm in high, high, high, my love. I'll talk to you later. All right. I'm gonna turn the volume down on this story a little bit. But I'm panicking. I'm like, what do I do? What do I do with the shit? What would you guys have done? What would you have done? I wouldn't have been You are the toilet and you are though you did you made this mistake and this you I think

I think we need to kill yourself as the only I think yeah I'll have his toilet paper dive in and drown myself. only I think. Yeah, that's a lot. Wow. All I have is toilet paper. Dive in and drown myself in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can just do that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because what's next, what's next after that? Like what's the next moment of your dumb life after that? You know what I mean?

Just like even bother. Well, let's find out. Like a crypto. Home goods after that. No, it's over. It's around. By the way, Rachel, there's a fantastic home goods at Burning Man.

I'm so surprised you brought that up. I mean the one of the best home goods I've been doing. That's why I show every year for the home goods to get the deals. I can be a towel. Burning miles goes so nice. I didn't know what to do. I did what I could, but I was like also like I wasn't gonna let this opportunity pass me by. So I just wiped my hand up as much as I could. You know, I'll tell you physiologically, interestingly enough, I no longer had to go.

That urge was gone. That it had somehow my colon had just decided we were gonna do something else that evening. I walked up as much of it. Is it possible to place a soft piano music for this part? I love biologian, so violin. That's what's missing. Because I'm a real romantic and this is like my mom at all.

Because if I was somewhere as too filthy for one's own shit to go, one's own shit went, no, I'm not going there. That's how disgusting this was. What I did was I wiped my hand off as well as I could. I walked outside, I kind of muttered something to my day for the evening like, my tense this way and I was walking like 30 paces, I had, she must have been so confused. Because you've been holding hands and walking

at her pace up until now, and now you've come out, she's mad, I'm not going to walk with you. She's promising this with the therapist right now. And then just like that, he disconnected emotionally. And he went into the bathroom and he walked out a different man. Yeah. And I went back to my tent, I unzipped it.

I said, you go in there. I washed my hands like 50 times as much as I could. And we made love with my hand. And you know, it wasn't good, Joel. You wouldn't have been satisfied. How about that? No, I know. I know.

You ain't putting up your fingers nowhere, dear. You had to. No, man. You went to the top of the well. Oh my. I didn't use that head. I gave her the dignity and respect of making love to her with my hand waving outside

of the tent the entire evening. Which would have looked so amazing to anyone walking past just thinking he's trying to like hail a cab or wave down for help. Just this little shit-covered hat just waving outside of a tent. They would walk by and be like, hey, LeCab, wave down for help. Just this little shit-covered hat, just waving outside of a tent. They would walk by and be like, what the hell's going on there

and then taking one big sniff and be like, oh, I think I know what happened. He made the mistake of going into the porta potty and trying to do the credit card swipe. You don't do that. Don't do the credit card swipe. Mm. Still with the making love.

Deeply random. You deep, deep bad pig. You're a bad little piglet. Yeah, I did feel like a little piglet that evening. Literally rolling and shit, quite literally. So impressed that you carried on and shagged honestly through all of that. It is. The trauma would have ended me. I would never have left that portafossi.

I would have stayed until the very end of Bernie Man, and I would have lived out the rest of my days there. I would have bought the portafossi, and I would have lived out the rest of my days there. I would have bought the Porsipoltsy, and it would have been my land, and I would have bloomed for ever. Some union guy would have walked in on Tuesday after the event, oh, it up the Porta Potty and seen you crying with a crusty shithead,

I think I know what happened. Come with me to the Porta Authority bar, you're gonna be okay. He's just softly face right here. But come along. You try to do a pack. He's like, no, no, no, honey, no thank you, no thank you. Did she ever find out what happened?

I think it took me, because I told you, we've been friends now for 20 years. And I think it took me a solid decade to explain to her what happened. There's so many visuals to unpack there, but thank you for really sparing us. No graphic detail. Yeah. Thank you for leaving together each strand of that. Yeah. That's going to talk me in tonight. I'm really mad that I keep scheduling these fucking records for lunchtime. I regret it every single time. I've got to start eating before I record.

I eat just in brown. This show is killing me. Okay, we'll be right back. Bad deeds. Hi, it's me, the Grand Poova of Bahamba. The OG Green Grump, the Grinch. From Wondery. Tis the Grinch. From Wandery! Tis the Grinch Holiday talk show is a pathetic attempt

by the people of O'Vill to use my situation as a teachable moment. So, join me, the Grinch, along with Cindy Luhu. Hello, everyone. And of course, my dog Max. Every week for this complete waste of time. Listen as I launch a campaign against Christmas cheer, grilling celebrity guests, like chestnuts on an open fire.

They'll try to get my heart to grow a few sizes, but it's not gonna work, honey. Your family will love the show. As you know, I'm famously great with kids. Follow Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show early and add free right now by joining Wonder Replus. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in and the most popular and most popular and most popular and most popular and most popular and most popular and most popular and most popular

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and Prince Harry, Windsor of Change, early and ad-free right now on Wendery Plus. And we're back. Rachel, just purely because I need to stop thinking about most story. No, I know we are. We are reset and do some say we're back. Rachel just purely because I need to stop thinking about most story. No, I know we all need a reset and do some say we're recording. You want me to do a record? I could tell it again, we could go more detail or whatever. It would be in my nightmares.

Yeah. Rachel, will you tell me the stories of I'm dying alone? What I did go on a date with a guy once that, and he sort of like lifted my chin up and started narrating the date like while we were on it. Like so mid date, he just started being like tonight, I met a very special girl. She made me laugh. She made me think. And then he kind of stopped. He gave me a little space to be like, oh, I'm sick of guessing.

I want to know who the girl in the riddle is. I'm on a winning my chitchat, you're confused. And then he kind of lifted my chin up, and I'm not that much of a fan. Go to the sex in the city like voice over. Yes. Oh my God. That's a perfect way to describe it. Yes.

He was writing a novel. Like he was fancying himself typing on his typewriter throughout the evening. And he was just kind of letting me in on the twists and turns, you know. And then- Thiss his actual occupation. God, I think this was the guy that was dearie and it says freshly devore. That's the biggest. I think he was like a magician.

That's funny. He was a juggler. He was a freshly devoreist juggler. Actually, somebody put that on my Wikipedia recently and ex-boyfriend, I'm not to get too off track, but I'm convinced it was an ex-boyfriend. They changed on my Wikipedia page, my like story, so that it says I used to be a juggler, and then I moved to New York City to juggle.

And now whenever I do like morning press on the road, everybody always asks me to juggle. And I look like I'm like some, you know, ashamed of my juggling past. And it's a poor girl, like some intern has to go out and get oranges. And then when I won't juggle, they're like, come on, we're one last hurrah.

I love the idea of a shy juggler too, like, oh no, no, I don't know. I could. It's for me, I juggle for me. Can you think of anything dumber than moving to New York to like get in with a gritty, doubted, out juggling scene? Ha ha ha. You've just offended someone. I know, I just realized that. moving to New York to like get in with a gritty downtown juggling scene. You just offended someone. I know. I just realized that. I'm going to get a DM. So I ever made you feel any better. A boy who bullied me at school when I was six until the

edge of nine continues. And I haven't seen him since I was nine continues to change my Wikipedia. I was nine, continues to change my Wikipedia every day. Sevens you two to make me sound crazy. Yeah, that's an understatement of the century. What kinds of stuff does he put? Or all kinds of crazy fucking stories, just to make me sound as mental as possible. So no one knows, like if you use my Wikipedia, I mean, it just day to day, it could be anything,

but it's fully that I'm insane, and I'm a treacherous, malevolent liar. He's very upset with something I did when I was six. I got to be honest, I'm team you because you're my friend, but there is something I honor deeply about a man who has not evolved like one bit since like elementary school. I was bullied now. I'm 47. I got grandkids now, but you know what? like one bit since like elementary school. Like he's like, I was a bully bit.

I'm a bully now, I'm 47. I got grandkids now, but you know what? I'm still bullying her. Yeah, I think it's, I really like, I love consistency in a man and, and so A plus for him, he's probably listening to this right now and he's gonna change it again. Anyway, back to you Rachel.

But then I got to the date, not only did he narrate a lot, but he was like clearly gay. And there's nothing sadder than getting a blowout just to be sitting in front of a man, just prepping your body for a guy that's worse nightmare would be to be inside of you. And that's... Ah.

Ah. So Rachel, tell me more about dying alone. So I went out with this guy, this, okay, this is kind of sad, because like as female comics, and I start all my sentences that way. But my therapist said, yeah, exactly. There's a real supply and demand issue with dating us. Like, you know, like, joy, I would say, like, no, it's not, we're not wanted. Like, no one's like, yeah, I mean, these guys get just loads of ass, but nobody's like

waiting around for me after a show unless it's, you know, to make a suit out of my skin or something. So, um. I I I I I I I I

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I You're just driving the movie. Yes, and the matter of fact, I'm shocked. I'm lifted his entire car, shocked, lifted. But yeah, he also, like, he talked a lot, he just even talks like a little kid, like

he would be like, and he would answer questions that no one asked him. He'd be like, my hero? Like probably the rock, you know, no one. Yeah. Oh, he's narrator. So in the middle of the rock, you know, no one. Yeah. Well, he's narrator. So in the middle of the date, which wasn't going well, he was talking a lot about the rock and yes, that's my hero. Things he would say to the rock if he met him.

Exactly. Then I am getting violently drunk, just like really gulp big down. He said at one point, he goes, you drink fast, which isn't what somebody, one of the first things you want someone to remark upon when you're on a date. So, I was just getting like shit housed, then I go to the bathroom and decide, oh, I'm gonna change it to my second number. And again, I don't really know why I did that. Like, I can't answer why I brought the extra dress.

It's so unhinged. I know the extra dress. It's so unhinged. I know. It's so benign. I mean, it's actually one of the most unhinged things I've had on this podcast so far. Yes, you don't have talking about. And I tend to run a little corporate. Like I just, I always like dress.

When I try to dress sexy, it just looks like I'm in like a sad office porn, you know? Is the second dress more revealing? Is it like a little more reaction? Yeah, it's a little more reaction. I think this is what it has to do with myself esteem, I think. Now that I'm crunching the numbers. I think that was quite clear from the start.

Yeah. I feel like that we know this. No, no, no. So we get in his car, but neither of us have any money. So and then we find what we thought was like a cheap hotel, but an inexpensive hotel nearby that we drove around for a while. We go inside, it turns out it's like a prostitute hotel. Like you turn on the TV every station, look at motion is knowing not, he's like, oh, one of them. It's the way he's so casual. Yes, yes.

I mean, you know, like, Hill Nondes. I'm 15 again. Yeah, the party man. Mom, mom just sent me into the hotel. You know, like, Hill Nondes or the Marriott rewards. I've got one of those punch card systems with these prostitute hotels. I get it. Your face was so warm and no, are you like, yes, yes, my friend, but of course,

you're probably going to be the exact one. Welcome to the wide world, Rachel. Come to the hotel. So we get there and we did every single channel and there was channels on this TV every time you turn it, it's just another point. It's only porn. It's like, I am fake. Yeah, I am. Yeah. So we're like there. Then he brings out a backpack, you guys. He had packed an outfit, okay? He packed and his outfit he chose was a New York Giants pajamas set, okay? Big football fan.

And what says, I don't want to have sex, I don't want to get laid, then button up PJs. What does that mean? Can you even decode that for me? I'm sorry, are we judging his second outfit now because I'm confused. I'm more confused about the fact that both of you had a spare outfit in your backpack that night. What is dating like in New York? I don't understand.

We go in there every, but we're just laying there. It's so sad. There's no sexual attention. He's terrified. He's just like really stiff. I've laid out the rules of the Christian sleepover, I'm like we can hold, we can, so I've given all my parameters. But he's just, he doesn't even wanna go that far.

I'm like, I'm reminding him again. I'm like tits or complimentary, like, I was explaining to him what's on the menu. I'm like, again, hand drops always something that we could go down that lane if you wanna explore it. And he was just like stiff and his giant's PJs. And then that porn was just blaring. Like, I am thinking, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm.

I checked into a hotel like that in Tel Aviv once. And it was unaccident. It was, it was a group of us. It was just a bunch of like backpacker kids. And we checked in and we immediately, same thing. You get this sense of like, oh, this isn't for travelers. This is for people that are cheating on their wives. The guy was, and I came out to get up towel.

The guy was, I am not kidding, watching BCality porn in the front office, just like, and he didn't stop it. When I was like, I'd like a towel, and he didn't press stop or do one of these with his, he was just like, yeah, here you go, man, here's your towel. And it got back to watching. Oh my God. I had that happen to me once in a nail salon.

I was getting my nails done, and then my phone just opened to some dumb porn I was watching. It was so humiliating. I was in like a packed upper west side nail salon. That's where I used to nanny. Like my hands are in the thing, and then all of a sudden on my phone, it's just like, fake, yeah, fake, yeah. And that's not the way I thought it was.

I've ever heard one of my friends got, one of my friends was having a wank in the, none of this sounds okay. He was having a wank in the toilet before dropping his children off to school. Unrelated to his children. He's watching adult pornography, but he needs to de-stress before the stress

of a warning school right. Drop a few of them off a call before. So he gets in the car, his wife is sitting in there, three kids in the back, all under the age of about six. And his Bluetooth for the car automatically connects to his phone and it is the loudest and filthiest or deep-orn he've ever heard now playing. And he doesn't immediately register what's happening or if anyone else can hear the same guy in his head he's just like is this just

happening in my head and his wife is like what the fuck is that sound at first he doesn't realize and it takes images and he's in his 40s we don't know how to disconnect Bluetooth at speed do you know what I mean no that's not what our generation does so that's one of the worst anyway wait so what happened with this guy then? Uh, I mean, it didn't, at the end of the night, he didn't, neither one of us really exactly rejected each other. He actually, I guess he rejected me now that I think about it because he said, he didn't say he wanted to see me again, but he mentioned that he wanted to see my roommates cat again.

I'm like, you're supposed to talk about me now. He didn't say he wanted to see me again, but he mentioned that he wanted to see my roommates cat again. I'm like, you're supposed to talk about me now. He's like cat and pancakes, it was a great cat. I'm like, yeah, he's like, I would love to see her again sometime. So the wrong pussy. Yeah, it's exactly the same. He's interested in the wrong pussy, oh dear.

I miss him sometimes, and the mornings are tough. I honestly think you two had more in common than you realize. And I think that that was one that got away. I'm sad to hear the end of that story. Oh my goodness. All right, we'll be right back after this. Back it's…

Today, hip-hop dominates pop culture, but it wasn't always like that. And to tell the story of how that changed, I want to take you back to a very special year in rap. 88, it was too much good music. The world was on fire. Yeah, yeah. I'm Will Smith. This is Class of 88. My new podcast about the moments, albums, and artists that inspired a sonic revolution. And Secured 1988 as one of hip-hop's most important years, we'll talk to the people who were there.

And most of all, we'll bring you some amazing stories. You know what my biggest memory from that tour is? It was your birthday. Yes, and you brought me to shot a life size hard work. Now this is class of 88 the story of a year that changed hip hop. Listen to class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge the entire series right now on the Amazon Music app or audible. I'm're back. And Joy-L, it's time to take us home with Red Flag.

Oh yeah, I'm taking us home. Okay. She's stretching because she's getting ready for this. I was like, let's do this. Okay, so like I told everyone, I would go on dates for stories. And I'm also very petty and judgmental. So I have a question for the group whether or not this would be a red flag for you. I went on a day with a guy and he was chewing gum at the beginning of the day.

And I'm not a gum person. I hate gum. I hate gum trees at, you know, theme parks. It disgusts me. I hate if you touch under a desk, you feel gum, it grosses me out. So, we eat, we go eat Indian food. And the meal was good or whatever, so I had to end at the meal. He's chewing gum again. And I was like, oh, I didn't see you put

another piece in your mouth. When did you do that? He was like, oh, this was the gum from before. Wait, what? And I said, what? I said, what did you do with the gum was like, oh, this was the gum from before. Wait, what? And I said, what? I said, what did you do with the gum while we were eating the Indian food? He was like, oh, I put it on the roof of my mouth.

No. Oh, my God. What in the book? Why we ate a whole Indian meal, son? He just stored it there like for the winter, like a bear. So strange. And so I was like, yeah, no, we're never, not only are you not ever like coming inside me, but also like, yeah, I'm never seeing you again.

So that's the thing. Also, you don't know that he wouldn't like when he's going down on you, just store his gum inside your pussy for a little bit. Like on the roof of your, like, vagina, you know what I mean? Like he, you can't trust someone like that. I started that thinking you're being judgmental and by the end I was fully on your side.

Okay, so tell me what's the worst red flag than this? Okay, so where's red flag than that? This was around the summer of 2016. Remember back when we were all sweet summer children, very innocent before the election. I went on a date with this black dude that matters for the story. So we go to have a meal in Brooklyn,

wasn't far from my house. I didn't have to track too far, but I did get beat up Rachel. All the preparations still has to happen. Oh, I didn't know what that meant, because I'm British. So I was like, Jesus Christ, New York, really intense. Someone choke me up against me. No facebeats

So arrived to the date we're having a good enough time Conversation come so remember summer of 2016 so all the Cosby stuff had happened and at this point were at like 60 you know women so he's a black man Who's who was like 40 years old. So of course, America's dead, also all the black men in America's dead. And he was like, you know what? I think Cosby's innocent.

Just kind of like Rachel, like nobody. And then Cosby appeared. Like, I know what asked the question about Cosby. Yes. My hero, the rock and Cosby. What a hot conversation. It's a fun and Cosby. Yes. My hero, the rock and Cosby. What a hot conversation. It's a fun day. Chemistry flowing.

This is the first day. I'm a wait for six months committed to be like, you know, I do think Cosby's innocent. Just say, by the way, you gotta wait till you move it and you wanna say, we're here. You gotta have a ring.

You gotta have a ring on her figure before you say Cosby didn't do a thing. He was just misunderstood. It is fucking suicidal. Like, this is, it's like a, this is the emotional, it's like having a, it's like being a suicide bomber where it's strapped to your dick. Like, this is just so stupid.

He doesn't bring two outfits to his date. He just brings his worst possible takes Before we go I want to end this I just want to end this no I want to end this on Voice Mal we go from one of our wonderful listeners and I want to hear what you guys think. So are you ready? Are you? You have space left for one more story? Yes, let's do it. Hi, Beth. So this crazy shit actually happened to me. Years ago I was in a band and we played a gig on the road and after the show, this very cool woman introduces herself when we immediately head it off. And I remember her inviting me over to her place for what she promised would be the wildest night of my life.

And we stayed at a bar until it closed, got drunk out of her mind, et cetera. And I sort of remember getting into an uber at one point, but that's really about it. The next memory I have will haunt me forever. The next morning something wet was poking me in the face and I slowly opened my eyes and I'm dead serious. There's a fucking raccoon on my chest. I hope that's not you, Samism. I've got Dan now, and I try not to pass. And then I notice there's also a cat lying on top of my chest. I make it and I'm trying to hold in my screen out of fear that this thing is going to bite.

So we then, did I remember that I went home with someone that I before, and I ever so gently get them off with me, and then I discovered a note from the woman saying that she had to go to work, and I hope you don't mind that Dudley abandoned sleep in the bed. Yes! You not remember the woman's name, that I will never forget that raccoons nose in my ear.

Oh my God, I was so worried at first that the like hairy smelly raccoon was a euphemism. I didn't know where that was going. I'm glad it wasn't actual raccoon, but that's terrifying. Red flags, a woman with a raccoon, I'm out. Like with extreme prejudice, I'm gone. Okay, well you fucked someone

with your hand covered in some of these things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got a new one, well you fucked someone with your hand covered in some of these jokes. Yeah, yeah, I got it. So why don't you just sit down for a second, I should. Yeah, you could leave. Yeah. You were a walking red flag.

I know, you said, I have a red flag. I'm not for you. Racoon wise, ass shut off. What animals are a red flag, though, because I met a dude once who told me he had 33 snakes at home and I was like 33 of anything is just insane, but 33 snakes, are they in different cages? What has your whole entire apartment covered?

So what animals, like I don't even like cats. So like a dog, that's all I'm accepting. I'll be going to a bar room. I'm not shocking in Jumanji, that's fucking mental. That's absolutely, I would have nightmares. You have all been fucking amazing. Thank you for these incredible stories. And it has been such a joy to get to know you so uniquely,

so uniquely, and a special shout out to Joel for doing the God's work in trying to have a mental day face and to handle people. Yeah, change manhood, one man at a time. You're recycling the dating pool. And I really appreciate it. Thank you for you shout out to you. But thank you guys so much for coming.

I love you all very much. Thank you for having us. Thank you for having us. Tickets for Moshe Caches upcoming shows can be found at linktree.com forward slash Moshe Cache. And he co-hosts the podcast, The Endless Honeymoon with his wife Natasha Legero. Look for Rachel Feinstein's new one hour special and upcoming shows at RachelFineSteam.com and Joelle Johnson's special Lovejoy is streaming now on Peacock.

Bad dates is produced by Smartless Media and Wondery, created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Demetre DeMille, that's me. Produced by Stuart Bailey, produced, engineered and edited by Devon Tori Bryant, also engineered and edited by Karl McGraw. Toulin Producer is Anne Harris, associate producer is Maddie McCann, music by Kushy and Evan Schletter. Executive producers are Will Arnet, Jason Bateman and Sean Hayes, executive producers for Smartness Media are Richard Courson and Bernie Kaminsky. If you've had a bad date and you'd like to tell us all about it, our number is 984-265-3283

and our email is baddatespod at gmail.com. We can't wait to hear all about it. That's all for this week, we will see you next time for more... Bad dates! That's all for this week, we will see you next time for more! Bad Gates 2 Smart Blast Smear Hello, Prime Members!

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