Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Constable Nicolette Jackson (w/ Nico Carney, Johnny Pemberton, and Marsha Warfield)

Episode Date: March 17, 2025

On a new episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians Nico Carney, Johnny Pemberton, and the legendary Marsha Warfield to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Nico explains why he always looks both ways when leaving his apartment, Johnny’s date-in-law would like him to step into her spiritual office, and Marsha introduces us to Uh…Willie and Uh…Charles. If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips. Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Nico Carney: @nicocarney on Insta for tickets and tour datesJohnny Pemberton: Fallout S1, new movie Mermaid coming soonMarsha Warfield: MarshaWarfield.com, Midnight In The Marshaverse podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

This is in Florida. I went to Florida State University. Oh, wow. Congrats on getting out. Oh, yeah. God, that's the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me. Are you kidding me? Oh my God. That was well said too. That was like the sarcasm. I didn't even come through at all. I had to take it all on my side. I had invented it in myself. That's like saying congrats on like stopping

at a stop sign or something like that. It's like. Uh. Bad Dates. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of Bad Dates the Podcast. I'm your host, Joel Kim Booster, and you are listening to a podcast that get this. This is crazy. It's about bad dates, you guys. It's about bad dates.

It's about bad hookups. It's about bad situationships. Sometimes it's about bad dates, you guys. It's about bad dates. It's about bad hookups. It's about bad situationships. Sometimes it's about bad full ass marriages. We cover it all here at this podcast. And boy, oh boy, I cannot wait to get to today's guest. But before we do, I want to start like we always do with a little bit of listener mail. And this one is from Carrie and oh boy, it's a doozy. Bad dates. I have a really good story and oh boy it's a doozy.

I have a really good story, well it's actually a fucked up story. I met a guy from a dating app at a bar the other night. We had a great time, he had just flew in from Australia, I'm on the date and it was going really well, then he reveals that he's here because he's pen pals with a serial killer. I'm like what? He said this woman murdered her boyfriend and amputated his head and continued to have Well, Carrie, here's the deal. Just a couple of things. I'm going to start with you, Kari, first of all, which is you need to ask more questions. You need to ask more questions. The man's coming in from Australia. There's an opportunity there to get in ahead of this and figure out and

maybe find out before the date. But more importantly, this is what true crime has done to us everyone. Thank you. Thank you so much to all the true crime podcasts for giving a platform and creating a space for people like this who are so fascinated by serial killers that they are coming to America to visit them. And can I also say really quickly before I bring in our guests, them. And can I also say really quickly before I bring in our guests, sounds like she killed one guy, which does not a serial killer make. Okay. Definitely a crazy person, but it sounds like she killed one guy and it feels like you have to kill multiple to be a serial killer. So just a little quibble for here, for me. Did you fuck him though? That's the question, Carrie, because it sounds like this

was, I mean, the man lives in Australia. It seems like you were waiting, you were just there for the hookup. And here's what I'm going to say to you. I hope you did because sex with a psychopath tends to be amazing. But definitely drop a pin for a friend and let them know where you are when you do fuck him because I don't trust this man. But I'm not the only one weighing in today. I have a panel as always of incredible guests. I'm so excited for these three joining me today. First up, we have comedian, actor and writer who has performed on Netflix and Seth Meyers and is the cohost of the podcast Boys Club. He is also one of the most talented stand ups I've seen working today. And it's infuriating because he's only been doing it for about a quarter of the time that I have. And he's so much better at it already than I am.

I hate him. I hate his guts. Please welcome Nico Carney. Joel, thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be here. That was a pretty insane call in, but I'm excited and praying for her. We'll get into it, we'll get into it. We also have another very funny comedian, writer and actor from a bunch of movies and TV shows, including 21 Jump Street, Superstore, and is currently in the hit series, Fallout.

Oh my God, Johnny Pemberton, I fucking love you on that show. You are so good on that show. The show is so dope. I'm so, I hope you feel amazing about being a part of it because it really is something else. It's incredible. And last but certainly not least, I have so, I can't believe we got her.

I can't believe we got her listeners. She is a legendary comedian and actress who you've seen on shows like Empty Nest and Night Court. She's back in the revival of Night Court and also appears in the Upshah's Marsha Warfield. She also has featured a lot with me in an incredible documentary about the history of queer standup called Standout. It is on Netflix. Check it out.

She is literally one of the people. I mean, I don't think I would be doing what I'm doing now if Marcia Warfield didn't exist in this world. So I'm honored to have you on the podcast. Marcia Warfield, thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. And I just wanted to note everybody to understand that apparently Australian serial killers

are underachievers. They just don't try as hard as, you know, those good old American serial killers. Can I say they're a down under achiever? Is that, I mean... There you go. You could say that, Johnny. You could say it. I had to. Would I advise it? No. But it is something you can say. That's what I asked. I did ask. I wasn't saying that I was saying someone could say that it would be bad

But they you know just unfortunately don't say that We don't have any straight ladies on the podcast today But I am interested to hear from you guys like what is going on with the dating pool for straight women right now? Every week we get an email or a call from someone who is going on a date with someone who regales them with tales of their bowel movements or is there to visit a serial killer

or gets blackout drunk and pukes in an Uber. Like what is happening to straight men right now? Johnny, I would like you to answer for your people. What is wrong with y'all? I think that the big problem is we just, there's too many of us alive. Most of us were supposed to die in a war many years ago. Like that's what's supposed to happen to half men under 25,

we're supposed to die in a display of gallantry someplace. And it just didn't happen to us. So now we're all just like, half of us have all these brain cells. They don't know what to do with other than share bowel movement stories and stuff. Yeah. People used to go to war and now they stream on Twitch. And that is where we're at with the male population. So what you're saying is there are too many of you and someone needs to figure out what to do about that. Yeah, when you like a big hole in the ground,

they have to make deeper or some sort of like massive civil engineering project to soak up all the testosterone. So there's just a little bit leftover for the dating. There's just not like, you know, there's too much energy. Yeah. Women in STEM, I hope you're listening. Big hole, big hole in the ground to absorb energy. It's also, they used to call it mining, but now I think it's like they have like a different name for it. We just have, it's like foe mining. Would they, they go down there, move some rocks around, send it back up and then maybe they're exhausted enough to act normal.

Yeah. Ultimately, Carrie, I'm not going to blame the victim. You are the victim in this scenario. I feel really bad for you. I don't know where you live or why the dating pool is so limited. But next time if you're and someone from Australia is coming to America, the first question I'd ask is why are you coming over here? Is it to buy a gun? Because you don't have any like that's, you know, those are you coming over here? Is it to buy a gun because you don't have any? Like that's, you know, those are the sorts of things that you want to know from, especially an Australian, because those people are. Well, maybe that's why they're underachievers.

They don't have access to weapons. You guys, I'm really excited to talk to you. You all have such varied experiences. It's a really diverse panel today, so I'm really excited to jump into these stories. And first up, we're going to go to Nico Carney, baby. Tell me, what is your dating experience been like? What's your situation now? I know you were in a relationship, a very happy relationship.

I hope that's still the case. Yes, we're recording this on Valentine's Day. I'm celebrating with my girlfriend tonight. That was a roll of the dice for me, and I'm so glad that you are still in that relationship. No, we're all good. Yeah, I guess you could maybe describe me a little bit as a serial monogamous, not by choice necessarily,

but just kind of happened that way. Because I came out, so just to give the listeners, I guess, and my two other panelists hello and lovely to meet you both. Greetings. I guess my background is, I came out as a lesbian when I was in college and had some girlfriends after that and then I transitioned, I'm a trans man,

so I transitioned a couple years ago and so I started dating somebody kind of around that time but there was, it definitely happened that around both of those coming outs, I think I quickly fell into relationships as I think a lot of queer people do, because I think that's very tied into your own, you know, your understanding of what's happening

and you're like, so because of that, I have found myself in a lot of like, sort of long relationships. I don't have like a big, I'm not somebody who's been on like, a lot of first dates, thank God. But, so that's kind of my broad strokes dating history. I feel like that's a common thing for people who come out of any queer experience is that

you either glom onto somebody immediately, life raft style, and you're like, you this you, I feel safe with you. So I'm going to hold on for dear life. Or they go the opposite direction and they're like, I'm going to be a receptacle for every person in New York City and sort of deal with this new era of my life that way. And you know, you took the different path and it's working out for you. I took the hanging out inside path and not being scared of it. The being scared of gay bars path. That's the high road, right? Is that the high road?

Definitely. Definitely the high road. So where does your story take place, Nico? So basically, it started in, it happened in New York and it was right around the time that I had realized I was trans. So I was kind of going through just an absolute upheaval of my life in every possible way. Perfect time to go on a date. Yeah, of course, yes. And sort of looking down the barrel of a lot of change and a lot of newness that I didn't really even fully understand yet.

So I sort of it was also kind of I should add, it was it was around the time that the pandemic was sort of ending. So I was still kind of it was sort of a covid relationship. I don't know if any of you that the pandemic was sort of ending. So I was still kind of, it was sort of a COVID relationship. I don't know if any of y'all were in those kind of like, oh, I, you know, we've all been so lonely for so long. It's time to at least talk to a person. I was begging for some loneliness at some point. Yeah, the opposite. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm feeling all this change, all this to say, I also should preface by saying I am the bad guy in the story. So just to get out of that.

Oh, we love it. We love it when the teller is the villain of the story. Thank God. Yes, I'm certainly the bad guy. So anyway, I start seeing this person. Can we come up with like a fake name? Does anybody want to give a I can give it I can make it up to you guys. Let's go Nicolette. That's great Nicolette I was gonna say Constable Jackson or

Constable Nicolette Jackson, yeah, that's a good nice and nice and long Beautiful. All right. So I'm dating at the time Constable Nicolette Jackson who Is that a name or is that a job? It's both, Marcia. Oh, both. Yeah. Well, I can relate as a bailiff. Exactly. I did a bailiff thing for a long time.

So Constable really hit my ear different. There you go. Constable Nicolette Johnson. So anyway, so I'm dating this person and you know, we're dating for a little while and I was starting to go through these changes around the same time. So I'm feeling all this, I don't know, I was just feeling very torn in my life and feeling like, but I was, this person was very validating of me in a way that I felt like I was tied to that in a way and I sort of felt like it was my only solace in this time.

But at the same time I started, I met someone who I really hit it off with much more romantically and I was starting to really feel strongly about this person who will give a different name will give Susan. So I'm between Senator Susan Bailiff, Senator Susan Bailiff and I was going to go with officer but Senator works officer. Well, we already have a consul. We can't have an officer. Yeah, I need Trifecta

Constable and Right, I needed I needed one more person in the story. Yeah, nice one from the from the judicial branch now That's a new though movie the the constable Edna Transmit that's a whole different I knew though, a movie, the constable and the trans man. That's a whole different story. Yeah. I'm seeing these two people kind of overlapping, which is why I'm the bad guy in this story. There's a bit of an overlap happening.

Well, man, you really are a man, Nico. Like, you really, around that time you said, I'm stepping foot straight in, I'm going to date two women at the same time, just like I'm going to go for it. I'm going to be a man. Yeah, it's funny you say that because I when I finally came to the realization, hey, I need to end it with this first person I was seeing. I can't continue this.

I called my parents because I was feeling really just like I felt so bad about everything and I was feeling like a terrible person and I was just feeling really, you know, my self-worth was on the ground and I was not feeling good about this and I was like, I should call my folks and hear from them. And the first thing my mom said was, oh my gosh, you started testosterone already? And I was like, for real? That's your first reaction to this story. So I, so very similar So very similar vibe there. Anyway, long story short, I'll get to the actual part of the story that matters.

This was a lot of preamble, folks. I'm sorry. But the day after I finally break it off with this first person, I'm like free to see this other person. And we hang out that night. She stays over. We leave my apartment the next morning because we both have to go to work. And the first person I was seeing, this other person, she, her sister

like lived up the street. So she had stayed at her sister's that house that night I guess. And so as my new girl and I are walking down the steps, Constable comes walking down the street and I just hear her voice so distinctly saying, oh hey guys. And I was like, oh this is is this is why, like even if you like you're you need to get consequences at some point. And this was like my ultimate consequences was like running. And this is in New York, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

On the street. And this is again, I go back to this thing of like we live in a simulation. There are only 17 queer people in New York City. What are the odds that like you'd run into any of these people on the street and yet here you are running into Constable. You can't write it, it's a simulation. We are the Sims. Yeah, no, it felt very simulation and very like,

oh, my punishment is here, I'm here to face my consequences for my actions today on the street. And then I got, and so then I just turned to this other girl and I was like, go, go, go, go, go, get out of here. Like, she is. So not only are you running from one girl, but you're also forcing another girl. I'm shooing another away. Oh, 100 percent. It's terrible. Again, I was the bad guy in this story. So then I got just like absolutely reamed by this first girl under the awning of a c*** that was still standing when they had those like COVID out that street seating.

So just in an empty c*** awning, just getting my fair, what I was due probably. So anyway, long story short. Was this in c***? Don't out my location, man. Oh, I thought this was the former location. I think I lived around that area. That's funny.

No, no, I didn't mean that. That's a restaurant? Yeah, yeah, that's a restaurant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I don't know anything about New York. We'll bleep all of this. All of Nico's story is going to be bleeped.

No, I know. This is going to be a bad look on me. But anyway, I wanted to tell the story because I feel like I know it was one of the worst I ever felt about myself was when I had gone through this because obviously I was feeling a lot of new change and self-worth stuff, but also just I had tied so much of myself to this person and then I hurt them. But also I think I sort of wrongly put a lot of my self-worth onto a person. And I think that's a lot of, especially when you're queer and you're going through a big change like that,

that's something we often do. Absolutely. And so I tell this as a warning story for folks to, you know, don't put yourself in a position to make a bad decision if you can, you know, find a way to validate yourself outside those type of relationships that ultimately maybe weren't even healthy in the first place.

So that's my villain origin. You're telling our listenership to validate themselves before looking for validation from other people. I don't know if you heard Carrie's email, but that's just not happening. That's just not it's none of that is you just RuPaul. How are you going to love your how you love somebody else? If you can't love yourself, You just did that on my podcast. It's a beautiful message and one that I think everyone

should listen to. But unfortunately, as doing this for half a year, I have learned no one no one learns anything from any of the wise sage advice that the people on my podcast bring bring about. But Nico, you do you sort of summed it up. You gave us the lesson, which is not defined validation, but is there anything specific that you will not do

moving forward that came from this experience? Not so much an idea, but I'm not going to c*** anymore. What is the material lesson you learned from this experience? To this day, I check both ways when I leave my apartment. Next up, we have another very funny story from, you know, Johnny, I don't actually know much about your dating history or your love life right now. Give us a little bit of background. Where are you at?

Are you in a relationship now? Yeah. Are you a serial dater? I've been married for a couple of years now and I've been married to the person I was dating for many, many years before that. So I basically like, I'm like the worst person for this podcast, because I've been on,

the last time I was on a date was, you know, around 9-11 or something like that. So it's just been so long since I've, not that long, not that long ago. You think you'd remember specifically, if it was around 9-11. But you know. Yeah, that was the date.

It was 9-11. That was supposed to be made so special, but made it to that actually. There was a lot going on that day. Yeah. I think it was probably like 2006 or something was the last time I was on like a real date. Yeah, for real.

So I've been in a relationship for so long, but I did have dates before that quite a bit. When I was in college, I dated a girl. Uh, when the first, the first girl I dated in college, I think maybe the second, I don't know, it was early on. Right. And, um, we were dating for, you know, six months or something like that, maybe longer. I lived in Minnesota.

So I went to Florida state cause it was like Florida, you know, because Minnesota is terrible. Oh yeah, you wanted to get out of that winter. I grew up in Chicago, so I get it. Yeah, so I was... Me too. Yeah, Midwest represent. I was down there, just the first girl I was dating and she was half Cuban, half Puerto Rican and she was Catholic and I grew up Catholic as well, you know, technically, not super into it, but technically.

But you're not practicing now, you're not taking the Eucharist every Sunday? I haven't taken the Eucharist in a while. I do enjoy a good Eucharist from time to time, but I haven't had the... Sometimes the Eucharist can be bomb. Yeah, it is the body of Christ. So this is the girl I'm dating at the time. And I go back to, she lived in Jacksonville, Florida. I go to visit them for the weekend or something like that, maybe just one night. And I get there and it's all nice and everything. I meet her parents and

they're all very sweet and wonderful and everything. And Sunday morning, they're going to go to church, right? Catholic church. So I'm like, oh, I'll go with them because I'm Catholic. So it's a nice way to get in with the family, you know? Yeah. So it's a, it's me. Get that Eucharist. Get that, get that uke in my body, baby. Get that body in my body. Take a little lick on that wafer. Big, it's a big old Catholic church, a huge one, a couple hundred people, you know, just massively bright Florida light and everything.

And we go to Mass and we're sitting in the pews. It's me, my girlfriend, her parents, and her little sister who's like, you know, six or seven, something like that. And we're about to get up to go get that Eucharist, baby. About, you know, they're just missing the rose to get up and get the yoke. And her mom whispers something to her, leans over, whispers something to her. And then she leans to me and is like, stay seated. We can't have the Eucharist. I'm like, what are you talking about? What's going on right now? She's like, just stay seated. We can't take the sacrament right now. Like, what the fuck's going on? So everyone in the entire church...

You were jonesing for the Eucharist. Yeah. And now she's saying no. She's saying no. So everyone in the entire church gets up. We're sitting in there in the pews while everyone else goes up and gets the body. And she tells me as her parents get up to go, it's like, look, my little sister last night found my birth control. And she showed it to my mom. And my mom was like, you know, you can't take communion right now because you haven't gone to confession. It's a greater sin to go and have a have communion when you haven't confessed. Evidently, I didn't realize this, but it is true under the book of arbitrary Catholic rules. So we're like in the hot seat there. This is my question then, Johnny, why weren't you allowed?

She was the one sinning with the birth control. They have no idea what you were doing or not doing. Yeah, but I think that they- You should have just gone up. You should have said, fuck it, I'm getting that body in my body. I should have just been like, oh yeah, we haven't been sleeping together at all.

We haven't been, you know, I haven't been proudly sleeping with you. It's for her acne. Yeah, it's for her acne. That's the best thing when the girls would take it and be like, yeah, it's not for, it's for helping my skin or something. It's gonna have a bad cycle.

It's like, sure, yeah, go ahead. Whatever you need to say. It's for her other boyfriend. Exactly. So I'm like incredibly embarrassed, right? Because I feel like, I don't know, it just like this whole thing just turned on a dime. We go back to their house after this, you know, after mass.

And I'm just feeling super embarrassed and everything. I'm about to drive back to Tallahassee by myself because I came there by myself. I was going to drive home. And right before I leave, her mom is like, Johnny, can I talk to you real quick? I'm like, what the fuck? She brings me aside to the little living room, just me

and her. Her mom is very, very smart, beautiful type A kind of lady. And she sits me down, she says, look, I think you're aware that we know that Constable Susan is on birth control. Your girlfriend Constable Susan is on birth control. You do. Yeah, I know.

It was a May, December thing. What can I say? And she proceeds to tell me, look, I understand this is what's going on, but I'm worried about your soul. I'm just really worried about you and Constable. So I'm like, what? She's like so Catholic, so religious that she's worried about my fucking soul. I mean, she was very nice.

It was very, it was confrontational, but it was very, I don't know, it was very nice. She was very, very, what is it, managerial? It was very managerial. And I- Stepping into my office. Yeah. I had to talk about your soul. Your soul review has come up once again.

So, and then I think I had some Valium stashed in my car and I took that before I drove back because I was just like freaking out. Oh, that seems smart. That makes sense. Yeah, that seems smart. Makes sense. Yeah. But you know, we dated for a little while after that, but she, we're not dating anymore, obviously. You know what's fucked up about this story is that the fact that she,

her mom forced her and you to sit down and not get the Eucharist. It's such a shame-based religion that like in that moment, they were like, everyone else in that church was like, oh, I wonder why Constable Susan isn't getting Eucharist today, and it must be something bad. Like she must have done something bad. And it's like, well, that's a part of it.

Like in that religion, it is so like, we want you to feel like every eye is on you for the bad thing that you did. That's what I felt. So you'll hopefully never do it. It worked. I think they saved you though, because the host, the communion wafer

and birth control together will make steam come out of your ears. And... Yeah. Johnny, so you're in a very happy, successful relationship. You've been in for a long time. Was there anything that you learned from this experience with Constable Susan that sort of laid the groundwork for the successful relationship that you're in now?

Like any lessons you took away? Yeah. Just never visit your partner's parents ever. Just never. Okay, and finally we turn to the legend, the final story. I know this woman has stories. I know this woman has lived a life. And so I'm very excited to learn what Marsha's story. Now Marsha, I know that very exciting, your character on Night Court in the revival married a woman recently.

Yes, that was very exciting and I was very happy that they didn't play it for laughs. They didn't play the wedding, the marriage for laughs. This was a co-worker that was getting married and they gave that all the respect. John Dan Fielding walked me down the aisle. It was really a very nice episode That is very and the the wife that they gave me was hot as fuck. So You love to hear that now, um, I guess my other question for you Marcia So same question as Nico and Johnny are you in a relationship currently? Marcia. So same question as Nico and Johnny. Are you in a relationship currently? What is your dating situation right now? Were you a serial dater before? Were you mostly on your own? Give us the

background. I came out fully in my sixties on Facebook. I before came out in stages throughout my life, but I didn't come out until I was in my sixties. And not long after that, I was doing a show and this woman heckled me and she started yelling from the back of the room. And I was playing along. And then after the show, the nature of the heckle, Was it like aggressive or was it like she thought she was helping? I said I wanted to meet a younger woman, somebody still juicy.

Somebody maybe 50, 55, something like that. And she said, right here, right here. She was in the back of the room. And I was like, OK, thank you so much. No. And then I said something else and she chimed in again. So after the show, we met and she told me she liked all of me and all that stuff. And then we exchanged numbers and we started dating and we got married two years ago. Oh, my God. That's such like that is literally I hope that the wedding invitation

just said, Marsha Warfield destroys heckler. Oh, my God. Completely annihilates Heckler and Kraut by marrying her. Yeah, we got married in Vegas. We just went, the two of us, and did the deed and... I love that. I do want to just say, just for the listeners at home, this is an unusual story

Do not go to the comedy show to heckle the comedian you want to fuck because they might it Marsh's story is very unique. You probably will not end up marrying this person. You will probably get escorted out of Space like my wife did Yeah, that's how we met at a comedy show. Wow. That's how I met all my high school boyfriends too. But Marcia, you're in a happy, healthy relationship now. I'm so happy to hear that.

But take us to the dark times. Take us to where your story takes place, the bad one. the bad one. It takes place where most bad dating stories take place in high school. I was in high school and I got invited to the prom. I got asked out to the prom by a really hot guy, one of the, you know, he was, he was very straight laced ROTC, but he's good looking guy. Everybody knew him. And so I was kind of flattered to get this invitation. And I had no concept of gay. I was groomed my whole life to be more girly than I actually presented.

And so I didn't have any concept of what made me different. So this was a good thing. And about two days before, probably, well, it might have been a week before he backed out. He said he couldn't take me. So now I'm stuck. I had a whole- For what reason?

What reason did he give you? Now basically that he was a dick. There was no other reason given. And so he- Oh my God. I had this dress made. It was gorgeous. It was like a silk sheath with a long over thing in it.

I was absolutely gorgeous and now I don't have a date. So we brainstormed and somebody said, well, a friend of mine would be happy to take you. I said, okay. He's a little older, but he'll be happy to do it. So I said, okay, I meet him and his name was Willie. That's how you say it. So how you doing?

Willie. Willie. You had to think about it. You didn't remember it. That's giving fake, that's giving like like he's giving you an alias like, no, he's on the run. He couldn't. He couldn't remember it. That was his name.

He simply could not remember that his name was Willie. So there's no tuxedos available. He has no money. So now I have to pay for a tux and we have to find one. And the only place we could find a tuxedo was at a magic shop. So he gets a magician's tuxedo and the whole night he's going, why is there a pocket here? Is that a seven? God, why is there a pocket here? And so he's wearing this magician's tuxedo that he's never worn a tuxedo before we get there.

I'm paying for everything, but he wants to be the man. So I have to slip him money whenever something comes up. And it was. It was I think the worst. And it was. It was I think the worst part of it was when afterwards we went out to dinner, you know, everybody goes out because after dinner thing and we're in this fancy restaurant at the top of some building. And his his question to the waitress was, Hey, bitch, where the food?

Oh, no. question to the waitress was, Hey, bitch, we're the food. Now, when you say this man is older, how much older than you is is he out of high school at this point? Yeah. Yeah. I think he's in his early 20s. Oh, wow. And that's telling that actually, like, I'm sorry, but a 20 year old who's ready and willing and like during and like Either I Think it was his first prom to yeah Wow. Well still Yeah, obviously it was a ran the first time in a magician's tuxedo, I'm sure of that but oh my god

Abusive to the waitstaff. Check, check, check. We love to see that. And how did how did the rest of the evening go for you? Well, he was angry. He got mad because on prom night, you're supposed to do it in the back seat. And so I was like, no way going to ever happen.

I'm going home. And he was very upset about that. I never did you ever. You never saw him again. You never saw him ever again. I wouldn't be able to recognize him unless he told me his name. You know who the secondary villain of this story is, unfortunately, Marcia is the friend that was like, Oh, I have the perfect person to set you up with. How dare they? How dare

they? I don't even remember who that was. I have no memory of who the person was. Yeah, I would. I would mind wife them out of my brain too after they set me up with Willie that you're not a friend. He's a living human. And now he's available. Yeah, he's available. They didn't lie about that. They you know, he ain't got nothing else to do. So yeah That is crazy I want to ask you guys have any of you had sex in a car in Or post high school not in high school. No Do what what make model if you remember Honda Civic? Yeah, that's a tiny car. Yeah

Can I ask which time are you? She's been on the road. Marsha's a touring comic. She's been in a comic. Yeah. It had nothing to do with comedy. I was a virgin until I was 17, something like that, out of high school. Well, that's respected.

And so I met this guy and I was tired of being a verge and I think his name was Charles and Charles and he had a Volkswagen. That's smaller than a Civic. Yeah, that's where that's smaller than a Civic. Yeah, that's where yeah, that's smaller than Civic. I thought I had I was in a Subaru behind a target and There is not a position that works in a Subaru I have to tell you there's not a position that really works in any car if we're being honest, but oh no and 1971 That's like two cars

You can have a pillow you can have have a blanket, you can stretch out, it's really cool. Wow, that sounds incredible. Well, I have never told this story in public about losing my virginity in a Volkswagen to a man named Charles Atterberg. Now it's out there forever. I'm so honored that we've got breaking news. Marcia Warfield lost her virginity at 17 to Charles. But I wouldn't do it with a Willy.

No ma'am, too much self-respect. Marcia, same question as the other two boys. What lesson did you learn from your experience with Awe Willie that sort of was something you carried with you into your dating life in the future? I mean, I know it was so far between Awe Willie and then finding your partner, but what was was did you learn anything about yourself or about dating from that experience? Yeah, sometimes dating people named Willie is worth it because I got to go to the prom. Well, thank you guys so much.

This has been so illuminating on so many different levels. I mean, we've covered so many things. We've covered cars. We've covered Catholicism. We've covered serial killers like this. I can't think of a time when we have covered this many topics on the podcast before, but we've come to the end and this is my favorite part where I get to ask you, Nico, where can the people find you? What are you working on these days? What do you want them to see? Yeah, thanks again for having me.

This was such a blast. You can follow me on Instagram, at Nico Carney. That's where I post, I'm going on tour to a bunch of different cities this upcoming month. So you can follow me there and check out where I'm gonna be performing. Hopefully come catch me on a show. Yeah, most of my stuff is on my Instagram, so just check me out there.

Prodigy, go and see him on tour. You won't regret it. Johnny, same question. Where can people find you? What are you doing? What do you want them to see? Oh, you got to go to South by Southwest in March and see my new movie, Mermaid. It premieres at South by. So go to that.

Otherwise you can just go. Thank you. Google my name and you know you'll figure it out. Everything out there. So I just you know just hack the internet and and check out Fallout season one if you haven't seen it yet. It's streaming now. It's one of the best TV shows of last year. And Johnny is wonderful show. And Johnny is incredible in it. Marsha, last but certainly not least, where can the people find you? What are you doing? What do you want them to see? I have a podcast called Midnight in the Marshaverse. We shoot the thing at midnight.

Oh, wow. And people come by and we have a very chill time. We have cannabis and cognac. We sit and talk and this week's guest was Monique. I'm also at the, I don't know when this is going to air, we're going to be in Pasadena at the ice house raising money for the eaten fire victims. Oh, great. Charity called letters from Altadena, and they give money directly to people who write in with needs. So I'm going to be doing that. And there was something else I'm doing, but I'll think about it. Like, you know, Google Marsha Warfield, she's a busy lady. She's got too many things going on for her to plug them all on one simple podcast like mine It's finality I'm old

All you guys ages put together I'm still older than that so and yet you don't look a day over 40 that. So as yet you don't look a day over 40. It is insane. All right. You guys, thank you so much. This has been the podcast. If you have a story of your own, like I said, email us at bad dates, pod at gmail.com rate and review the podcast on Apple podcasts or wherever you're listening to the podcast, it helps people find the show. And again, my once quarterly reminder, if you're going to leave a negative review, do what many people have mistakenly done and leave a five star review with nothing but critiques about me.

I don't mind the critiques. I love the five stars. So continue to do that. And I will talk to you guys next week on another episode of Bad Dates. Bye bye. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited and engineered by Devin Torrey-Brien. Produced by Ann Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana.

Executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Baitman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Music by Kushi and Eben Schleder. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3283. That's 984-265-3283. That's all for this week. We will be back for more Bad Dates. Smart. Plus. Nia.