Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Cool Off My Volcano (w/ Emma Willmann, Teri Hatcher, and Anjelah Johnson-Reyes)

Episode Date: November 20, 2023

On this episode of Bad Dates, Jameela welcomes Emma Willmann, Teri Hatcher, and Anjelah Johnson-Reyes to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Emma attempts to cut through the clutter but ends up on a date with another, Teri’s date crosses state lines as their connection unwinds, and Anjelah goes from stickup to side piece. This podcast was a VERY successful business meeting. If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it.Emma Willmann: https://www.iamemmawillmann.com/, Ask Men Anything podcastTeri Hatcher: @officialterihatcher on InstagramAnjelah Johnson-Reyes: Say I Won’t comedy specialSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I remember when I first started when I was 22 and thought I was incredibly clever and funny. And I was like, this site is rubbish. I was like, it should be called shitter.com. And when you write.com, it appears as a link. And I had a lot of, because I was a youth TV presenter, an unbelievable amount of teenagers following me. And I didn't click on the link. I just presumed I'd made up a website, you know, called shitter.com. I'm so, because I'm so funny. And it was a shit fetish, a hard pornography website. And I almost got fired. Oh my God.

Oh, don't click on shitter.com. If you ever go to whitehouse.com, I remember that. Because I remember White House.org was the White House website. And then whitehouse.com was a porn site. Wow. Bad dates. Hello everyone and welcome to Bad dates. Emma, Terry, Angela, how are you? Great.

Good. I'm pretty good. Thanks for having me, us. And so you guys have kind of seen each other out and about, or maybe in various circumstances, but none of you are, know each other, especially well, correct? Correct.

So we're all gonna learn a lot about it in the next hour. All right, well, hold onto your hats, my dears. Before we get into the actual stories that you have, I was loved to get an insight into someone's dating philosophies. And so I guess I would start with Terry. What do you feel about dating? Do you enjoy it?

Are you fun to date? You seem like you'd be fun today. Oh, that's really sweet. Well, first of all, you'd have to be going on dates to know how you would be dating. And I haven't been on a date in four years, maybe. I just don't end up dating much. But the last two dates that I did do both came from hinge, which I am no longer on and will never be on ever again. I'm done with dating apps forever and I'm happy to sleep with my cat until I die. Anyway, beyond that, these last two dates, they were the kind of dates where you talked to

the person for a while or you text with them leading up to finally committing to a date and then within 30 seconds of being at the table with them, you realize that this isn't going to work. And then you're just polite. And I did drive for one of the dates. I drove all the way to Santa Barbara and the other date I drove all the way to shit. Phoenix, I drove for a date. What's your radius on your hinge? What's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, so actually that's, yeah, you know, I actually, can I tell you,

I, when I was on hinge, I would move, one of the advantages of being a house to wherever the date lived, I would, I would think like, where would I potentially move to if I fell in love and that included yeah and that included Austin Chicago, Seattle, Maine, New York and it's sort of I thought would open up my perspective ability to find somebody but it didn't really work for me. So I'm just done. Oh, that's completely fair.

And also, look, you might not meet someone, you might meet someone out in the wild. That's always fun. I think it's making a comeback post pandemic. I think people are wanting to meet each other face to face and sniff out those pheromones. That sounds weirder and creepier than I meant it to, but you know what I mean? And it's of normal animal life. I think it's not about caring about what about you, Emma? I used to love it because I used to get like a high from it. And I think I used to always have relationships like in the place of having a life. I love the first six months.

I love like meeting someone's friends and doing all of that footwork. But then I was in impression. And yeah, but then it would crumble because it wasn't real. You know, did you take it as far as like changing your, like Brad Pitt changes his hair to look like everyone he's ever dated?

And it was, it was, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Did you change your clothing or your style or your music taste? Did you kind of try on different identities to be like, yeah, I love Slipknot. Yeah, maybe not that hard for me. Maybe I would have, and maybe not, I wouldn't change my hairs or the way that I look, but I remember on, because remember plenty of fish. You remember that one? Yeah, yeah.

You could like answer the questions to get the matches and I used to go on and modify what I said to match with what someone Like a big I love kayaking or whatever Like I would say I had certain interests like I used to say I liked whitewater rafting on these because I thought that sounded Well-rounded like I thought it sounded like adventurous and like I'm open-minded But I didn't I'd been whitewaterwater-acting maybe one time as a kid. So I used to tell little lies like that. There's a rom-com in there of someone who sets themselves up

for very dangerous failure in like some sort of adventure scenarios they've pretended to be an expert in something they've done once or never. I think you sound like an incredibly game-dex. That's a great movie idea. And I think we are all executive producers on it now. I will totally take that. I think you sound like a very fun, very game day. And what about you, Angela? Are you into it?

Listen, very similarly with Emma, I like to be liked. So I love making a great first impression. I love, I, this is, I mean, I've been married for 12 years now. But when I was dating, I loved meeting his parents. I was going to make the best impression and they, I was going to be the one who got away with every guy that I ever needed. But even if you didn't like him that much, you needed him to like you. Yeah, and I was just like, let's just eat your mom. Let me just want her to want me for you and then I'll move on. Like, it's not a responsible data at all. I just liked being liked.

I was very charming. I get that from my dad. And I think that's why I'm a stand-up comedian. And I know how stand-up comedian. And I know how to win the room. I would do all the things to get him to like me. And then once he did, I'd be like, oh gross, moving on.

Oh, that's a slight nightmare scenario for them, but I do also really... Oh, that's awful. I do relate to what maybe you weren't doing this necessarily, but I, with anyone I would date would, I didn't really have a strong sense of family myself, and so I would just fall in love with their family, and so then I would stay in touch with the family for ages afterwards, which is also very uncool and unhealthy.

But I was just looking for a think, looking for a family. And so I was, I was, I was really kind of trying to date the whole family. It's not okay. Yeah, yeah. Big fan of a mother-in-law. Bad dates. Hello listeners.

This is Mike Corey of Against the Odds. You might know that I adventure around the world while recording this podcast. And over the years, I might know that I adventure around the world while recording this podcast. And over the years, I've learned that where I stay when I travel can make all the difference. Airbnb has been my go-to place for finding the perfect accommodations. Because with hotels, you often don't have the luxury of extra space or privacy. Recently, I had a bunch of friends come down to visit in Mexico. We found this large house and the place had a pool, a barbecue, a kitchen, and a great big living room to play

cards, watch movies, and just chill out. It honestly made all the difference in the trip. It felt like we were all roommates again. The next time you're planning a trip, whether it's with friends, family, or yourself, check out Airbnb. To find something you won't forget. What a life these celebrities lead. Imagine walking the red carpet, the cameras in your face, the designer clothes, the worst dress list, big house. The world constantly peering in, the bursting bank account,

the people trying to get the grubby mitts on it. What's he all about? I'm just saying, being really, really famous, it's not always easy. Whee! I'm Emily Loitani, and I'm Anneliong Rofi. And we're the hosts of terribly famous from Wondery, the podcast which tells the stories of our favorite celebrities

from their perspective. Each season we show you what it's really like being famous by taking you inside the life of a British icon. We walk you through their glittering highs and eyebrow raising lows and ask, is fame and fortune really worth it? Follow terribly famous now wherever you get your podcasts or listen early and ad free on Wondry Plus on Apple Podcasts or the W do we have. So Emma, your story is called Craig's List day and I'm already afraid.

So this date was, I had just moved to New York and for a little bit of context I grew up in a really small town in Maine, then I lived in Boston and then I came to New York and I found these roommates on Craigslist and I was single at the time and I remember they were like you got to start dating, go online and I had met them on Craigslist and I was like okay, I'm gonna go on Craigslist and they were like that's not what we meant and I was I had a real thought process behind it, though, I'd actually put a lot of thought into it. I was like, I wanted to specifically go on Craigslist because I want to cut through the clutter.

That's what I thought it would do. I was like, I want to cut through the clutter. And I want to straight to the serial killers. Get straight to the serial killers. But my thought process was, and I actually do think there's a little bit to it. I thought if I meet somebody on Craigslist, it's like, they're gonna be adventurous.

Like, it's gonna not be, there's not a bunch of small talk. It's like, what brought you to Craigslist? I thought maybe, now this might be a little crazy. I thought maybe they'd be like super kinky because it was like Craigslist to me symbolizes like a type of open-mindedness. So that was my thought. So I go on and I saw this at-

What year is this? I'm so bad with the okay. So I maybe like 2011. It was before the Craigslist killer. I'm pretty sure. I'm a I'm a all you the Craigslist killer. And also that was me. No, it's not me.

It is not me. It's not me. Do you guys remember Craigslist, like the wanted ones where they would like for the hookup? Do you remember that? Did you ever type in Craigslist incorrectly? And it was like a porn site? No, which is insane because I'm dyslexic. So I didn't. Is it a porn site? Yeah, it's like a porn something or other because I remember I typed in Craigslist. This is again years ago, so it could be gone now. But spelling it incorrectly brought me to a whole wild place. And I was like, no, I'm not going to find a used refrigerator here. Oh no.

So I find this ad in Craigslist that was titled. This is kind of embarrassing, but it was titled. I'm a super model or I'm a model. And I can't get anybody to take me seriously because of how I look. That was a title of it. So I was like and I can't get anybody to take me seriously because of how I look. That was a title of it. So I was like, wow, I'll take you seriously. So I remember I responding to it and her and I, we started writing messages back and forth to each other and then we did the thing where it was like we were writing a very long time before even thinking of meeting up. So we go back and forth, we're talking, my roommates are like, this is crazy.

And I was like, I want to meet up and person, let's go in a date. And she said, let's meet at the 7-Eleven in Queens. And I remember my roomie, yeah, that's what I supermodel sang out. Definitely. Well, this is what I was thinking. Here's what I was thinking now. It's basically so her house, yeah, go on. This is what I thought, my thought process was she can't be out in the general public.

So, she can't be out. I'm giving her so many passes right now. I'm from a town of like 800 people and made then Boston. I also haven't really interacted with any supermodels. I don't know what the culture of supermodels is. But I was it's not 7-11 just up right. I know everyone's was like, had you not know it seems like if you know. No, I actually think if I thought I was meeting up with like a really famous actor actress, I think that if they wanted to meet me somewhere that was so obscenely discreet, I think that I would also to meet me somewhere that was so obscenely discreet,

I think that I would also tell myself it's for the same reason. I think it was, it's so, it's not even a denny, it's to fucking 7-11, but it's off the beaten path. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Off the beaten path. And then we were going to go somewhere. So we're going to meet there for I didn't really ask the reason, but that was like, where are we going to meet? And then I had picked out a bar that we were gonna go to. And I remember she had said that she loved this like certain type of chocolate bar.

So I bought some of the chocolate that she said she liked from the specialty shop. Get it 7-11 in Queens, 40 minutes go by. I don't even have her phone number. I send her a message. She's like, I'm on the way. I'm about to leave. I'm turning around and then this person comes in

and the first thing she says is she goes, I look like this because. So right away, I'm like, oh, this isn't the person from the pictures, but, but what went through my brain? Was if you're willing to post and say you're somebody else, right, obviously you got something going on. But when you're saying that she was claiming she is still the governor photo,

she's just been through a thing. Like, why was she saying she's so different? She looks so different. But she had dental surgery on her face, but it was not the same. It was very, very, very altered from. I mean, there's no way that... That's such a great excuse.

I'm a blind man. So, I that it's such a great excuse. I'm not going to lie. So I've just been in a car accident. Because I don't want to make like fun of how her parents had all but she did have a like a thing on her face that seemed like it could have been dental sir. Who knows what was going on. Right. You know, but there was this, there's no way that it was the same. Take all the dent, take all the teeth in the world out of it.

This is not the same. Oh no. Oh same. Oh no. Oh yeah. And she had a giant fur coat on. I don't know how you guys feel about that, but like big, big fur coat. Like it was like a whole, there was a lot going on. Uh-huh.

But I don't want to be noticed because of all the fame. So she's just going incognito. Right. I remember being like going in the bathroom and being like, woo, like I was happy with myself that I didn't go like, whoa, what's going on here? So we go to a bar in the upper east side.

And I don't know why I would have picked up the east side if we were meeting up at the 7-Eleven in Queens, but we take a taxi over there and it was really uncomfortable. Like I remember she was kind of mean, like she was like nagging me, and I'm not so into that. I don't know how you guys joke about that. No, I don't like that. I don't really like that. I don't pick up on sarcasm,

but I was kind of just trying to like keep my footing in the thing. It was just the drugs from the dental salgeray that she didn't have. Most of this is thank you for bringing that. So she did have a thing of pills. And she took a pill. And I was like, it was like Xanax or something like that. And then I remember we got to the bar, she took a pill and I was like it was like Xanax or something like that and then I remember we got to the bar She took another one and I was like should you is it okay that you're drinking while you're taking these pills because

That makes your tolerance go down and whatever and she was like oh, yeah, yeah, good point I'll go take them in the bathroom and I was like that wasn't And she's also really preoccupied with how it would look. If she was really preoccupied with it, if we ran into someone she knew, making sure that they didn't think we met on Craigslist. So she said, like, if anyone runs into us that I know from my prep school or whatever it was, to talk about our prep school a lot, she was like, I want them to think that we met at a party. And I remember just being like, no one is gonna come up to us. Like no one is walking into a bar and seeing the two of us

and be like, that was the people. I was like, we just, unless they're casting for like, what the fuck is going on here? Like no one's coming in and seeing us and wanting to know the backstory. You don't have to worry about that. But we sat down and I remember she was, she was mean. And that was really like I was like, ugh.

And then she went into the bathroom to take to you also mean to everyone else. I will snap you to the wait, wait staff. No, I know. Absolutely not. So she goes to the bathroom to take some of the pills or whatever she's going to do. And I got the check and I know. Absolutely not. So she goes to the bathroom to take some of the pills or whatever she's gonna do. And I got the check and I left. And I, one part I always remembered about this

was taking the taxi home and he was asking me, how's my night and I said, you know, this was a lot. And I had forgotten about the chocolate bars that I had gotten her. And the chocolate bar had melted all over my back pocket. It also melted on the taxi. So I ended up the night cleaning the taxi, my pants, and then I think I didn't tell my roommates how bad it was because I didn't want people to be like, like, told you so. And I think that was my worst. But the worst part of it wasn't so much. Wait, so you just spent the whole date not knowing that you'd like, you'd, you'd shit your pants.

Yeah. Do you think that's why she was being a bit like, we're not that it would excuse it, but reckon she should be like, just person just shit their pants on a date with me and isn't addressing it. Like, you're both thinking the other one has no self-awareness. Right. Right. This person that doesn't know what's going on with their body at all. True.

I hadn't even thought of. I tend to always side with the most problematic people, but I just think it's so legendary that she threw on a fur coat and it's a completely different face as a bit of dental surgery. Like that is iconic behavior. And showed up 45 minutes later. Jennifer Koolid just playing her in the story of her life.

Like, I'm obsessed with that level of audacity. We'll be right back. Everyone leaves the legacy. I like Mr Gorbachev. We can do business together. For some, the shadow falls across decades, even centuries. I like that. It is unacceptable to have figures like roads glorified. But it also changes.

Reputations are reexamined by new generations who may not like what they find. Picasso is undeniably a genius, but also a less than perfect human. From Wundery and Goldhanger podcasts, I'm Afwah Hersch. I'm Peter Frankertpern. And this is Legacy. A brand new show exploring the lives of some of the biggest characters in history. To find out what their past tells us about our present. Venus Amon was constantly told to sit down and shed out your the angry black woman.

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Brighton and on Amazon Music, Wondery Plus, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Terry, your story is called Plains, I haven't been dating a lot, so my bad date was from a cash over 30 years ago. I was living, I just moved to LA and I was living in an apartment building in North Hollywood. And next to my apartment was a couple of young comedians from Omaha, Nebraska that had also moved to LA to, you know, find their dreams in Hollywood. And so, you know, as we were neighbors, you know, they would potentially be flirting back and forth. But I don't know that anybody, we didn't really know, are we dating, are

we trying to date, are we not trying to date, are we the neighbor. So finally one holiday weekend, I don't remember, it might have been a Saturday, my friend had, I mean, we decided to go on a date to the movies. And we left early in my car, I had a Chevy blazer, sort of an SUV of the, this would have been the late 80s, late 1980s. None of you were born. So let me tell you how it was back then. Nobody really had cell phones. Like all of you have to think that that was, that's a big part of this that the cell phone thing wasn't readily available. I think maybe we had cell phones that were the size of a shoe, but I don't think I had one. Anyway, so we decided to go to Griffith Park

first and go for a hike to sort of kill some time before we're going to the movies. So we get up to the top of the first day hike right there. Yeah, that's a good that's a great day. And your phone sounds nice. Yeah. And and no phone sounds nice. Right. Well, I wish we could go back to those days of the no so no phone, no social media. Anyway, but still have podcasts. Anyway, so we're we're driving up there and we get kind of close to the top of the hill and the engine on my car blows up. And this is the thing if you went and looked up Chevy Blazers, it turned out that it was a thing. It was like a flaw this car had that lots of the on the name. Yes, like exactly.

So the car blows up so we don't have a way to get down because again, no phone. So we start walking down the hill to a gas station. We get to the gas station. We ask the, you know, can anybody go tow our car? Nobody can because it's a holiday weekend. So we were living in North Hollywood and we sort of thought, all right, well, we could probably walk home. It's probably not more than eight miles or so. Or five.

Yeah, I have like five to eight miles. But we were going to hike anyway. So we thought, OK, well, maybe this is our hike. So we start heading down Los Felis. And we're walking. And I think at the beginning of this is all very jovial and pretty happy and flirty. It doesn't really go bad for a while. And bus buses are going by and we think, oh, well, we should get on

the bus. We should get on the bus. And so we decide to get on the bus. So we think the bus is going to go to North Hollywood. But as the bus is going down Los Files, it gets on the five freeway headed north like to Sacramento. And so now we're suddenly like, oh my god, we're going, we're going the wrong way. We're we're ringing the thing, ringing the stop the bus, stop the bus. So when the bus gets off, it's first exit, it's now more deeper into Burbank, which is arguably probably the same distance we were in Griffith Park, but like a different direction. So now we're in Burbank, and we're a little bit like, wow, this is not going well. There starts to be just the recognition of that. And we're like,

you know what, there's a 7-11, we just serve a beer. Let's just get a beer in a brown paper bag and sit on the curb outside some of them like sexy. And so, you know, we're sipping on the beer in Burbank. And that's the little nice bit of, you know, alcohol, little tingle in your brain. And we get the idea that, you know, we're pretty close to the Burbank airport. We should just walk there because that would be an easy place to get a taxi

because remember, this is before Uber or anything like that. Taxi, taxis aren't just driving by Los Angeles like they do in New York. So we go, okay, let's walk to Burbank, we'll get a taxi, we'll take the taxi back to North Hollywood. So we're getting close, we're sipping the beer, we're getting a little more drunk,

we're getting close to Burbank. And I think this is when it became kind of like a one-upsment thing. And it kind of goes back to the thing I told you about myself that I drove 300 miles to go on a blind date, that he says, you know, we're at the Burbank airport. We should just go to Vegas. Thinking, I think that I would say, no, I'm not going to do that. But of course, I go, all right. So we, and at that time, it was probably you could get a $29 flight on some shitty airline to Birmingham. So we get to the airport, sure enough, we get on this flight. Oh my god. The flight.

So you're so flirting the whole time, like the vibe, like, is there like sexual tension? Yeah, at this sexual tension, because he starts saying that there's this myth with comedians and hall it from Omaha that if you go and I don't know, Angela, maybe you can back this up anyway, but I mean, not that you're from Omaha, but maybe you've heard this. I don't know, but he was telling me that there was like some hotel in Las Vegas that if you went in that being from a law that he'd always heard that if you said I'm a comedian I'm a standup from from Oma they would get you a room. And so I'm in I'm a I'm a night you heard that. I heard that one.

Okay. And so here I am, you know, naive or just entirely stupid. And I sort of bought into this, but yes, it's your question. So the idea now that the date has potentially escalated to, we're going to be sleeping together in this hotel room in Vegas that we're eventually getting. And I think that's all like, okay, we're still both headed in the same direction. The flight was not great. as we were landing in Vegas,

tons of turbulence, everybody on the plane thought we were gonna die, it was definitely like the hold hands with a stranger, say your last rights situation. Like cool your enemies. Yeah, right exactly. But we lived, we got there, we got to the strip, and we start going to this hotel. And all again, this is all walking because remember also no phones, no Uber, not a lot

of money. We're both like up and coming after us, comedian. So all of this is on the very down low. And there's a loan up trail. It's pretty just. Yeah, it's a triathlon. Yes, it's a triathlon. It really isn't.

So we're walking, walking down the strip and he goes to this hotel, no room. So then we're like, okay, let's go to another hotel. No, no, no password. It's because it was just so full of other Omaha comedians. What's happened this time we could not get a room to save our lives or our potential relationship that was now about to no longer be happy. So, we're walking, walking. So finally, we give up on the wrong distance as well. Like, all of these places are few and far between.

Jesus Christ, because also I presume you're going to the more affordable hotels at this time. So you're not just walking along the strip with the most expensive hotels, whether or right next door to each other, you're having to really fucking haul us. Right. Right. So, we give up, we look at the planes to go back. The next flight is out, is until six in the morning.

So we settle into some shitty casino, and we try to play Kino for a while, which is sort of a cheap gambling game that costs the dollar, you know, doesn't cost much, but you can only have so much fun with a black crayon. Are you guys still flirting? How's your, yeah, I was going to say as you open China, just come. No. Oh, you still.

Yeah. Yeah. And oh, no, no, I'm starting to not be interested. And I remember that at this point, my knees are throbbing, like just from all that walking, I mean, I don't even know how many miles it must have been. They are just, so when you're in pain and exhausted,

no, of course, your vagina is closed for business for potentially never. And I'm starting, now I'm not happy. So then we tried Blackjack for a little bit. We lost whatever small amount of money we had very quickly. And ended up sitting at a buffet table with, you know, my hand on my face on my hand and my elbow sort of sleeping with a pile of pancakes in front of me. Until we could get on this flight at 6am,

of which we did get on this flight, I did not talk to him on this flight. We got in a cab. When we got to the airport, I did not talk to him this cab. The cab drove us to North Hollywood. We had three flights of stairs up to our perspective apartments. Hold on in silence.

All in silence. I walked into my door, slam the, he walked into his, I never looked back and we did not speak for at least three months. Now, the, the, the cut to is 30 plus years later, he is one of my very best friends in fact. Yeah. He happens to be the, what is it like the executor of your state if you die and how? Wow.

Money gets. Yeah, like that's how close of a friend he is. Oh, that's so sweet. You know, he's a writer too. And we have threatened. It's very when Harry met Sally. Like we've threatened to write it as a movie because it's a little bit epic.

Another movie that we're all executive producers on. I love it. This is a very successful business meeting. Business business. That's your product. Yeah, that's the fact. Let me tell you one. I think it would probably be fairly clear that there is a strong friendship there, given the fact that it took you like 10 hours

into walking and sweating and facing constant movement and disappointment for you to even to have not murdered each other or gone home on separate planes. Do you know what I mean? That's such an insane amount of time to spend with someone in such an intimate way in which it's you two against the world

that really is though, that was a good sign. I'm almost sad that you didn't end up dating after that, but I completely get it. I've never, maybe ever heard of a bigger, longer, boner kill than that. That should have been the title, the longest boner kill ever. Yeah. We'll be right back. Bad dates. We'll be right back. Bad Dates! Banana boys here, I'm Scotty Landis.

And I'm Kurt Brownwell, are you may remember me from my episode of Bad Dates back in May? Now we are here to tell you about our podcast, Banana's. New episode's drop every Tuesday on exactly right, the podcast network behind my favorite murder. Every week we're joined by a fun guest to chat about the strange, fascinating, and just plain bananas news from around the world. Like the delivery robot that ran straight through a crime scene. Or the lady who took in a straight cat only to find out it was a mountain lion. And we've been joined by hilarious guests, including Kristylo Alanzo, Sashir Zimata, and

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And we're back. An Angela, I would love to hear your story. It's called Office of Dishback. BELL RINGS All right, here we go. HAHAHAHA Well, okay, the story starts with a different guy. And now we weren't dating me and this guy, we were friends, but we were like flirty friends.

Like, that was another thing when I was dating. I had a lot of flirty friends, okay, that would never like cross the line, but I'm gonna get you to like me still. You know, I'm gonna get you to flirt a little bit. So anyways, there's this guy. He was a friend of mine. He came down to L.A. to visit me from the Bay Area, because I'm from the Bay. Yeah. He came down to visit me. And we went to go eat at Roscoe's chicken and waffles.

And while we were there, we got held up at gunpoint. And these guys came in. They robbed everybody. They had guns. They made us all get under the tables. It was a whole thing. They went to every table. They robbed everybody. They shot their purses, their car keys, their everything.

And it was wild. And what's interesting is that we were at the table and I had my purse hanging on the back of my chair Right, and I had all my stuff in there and right before we sat down my friend his wallet was like kind of big And so if he sat on it it was like an event. He's like, hey, can you put my wallet in your purse? So he put his wallet in my purse and it's hanging on the chair So when they came around with their guns and they're pointing at us, they're like, get under the table, get under the table. So we all get under the tables. They came to our table and he says, empty out your pockets and I go, I don't have anything

in my pockets. And so he moved on to the next table. It also shows how little men know about how much we're going to provide for pockets. They have no idea. The clothing injustice that we face. They didn't immediately occur to him. You would have a fucking handbag. I'm sorry, I know that's not a fucking, but give us fucking pockets. Right, and it's a fucking, it worked out in your favor massively.

Sorry, I think I go on. I'm a girl, we don't get many pockets on clothes. Yeah. Start that argument. Yeah. So then they leave, Everybody's real shaking up. It's crazy. They call the police.

The police come and the police comes, one of the officers comes her table. And he's like taking her statements. And you know, he's asking us, you know, do we get a look at their faces? And like, no, we didn't. Did you see the gun that he had? And I was like, I did.

And he's like, do you know what kind it was? I was like, I don't know what kind it was, but I can draw it. And he goes, oh, okay. So he hands me his notepad and his pen, so I could draw the gun. I don't know how to draw. I'm like, did you offer to draw?

I drew a stick figure gun. And I handed it to him. I said, it looked like this. And then he starts laughing, of course. And I handed it to him. I said it looked like this. And then he starts laughing, of course. And then here we go. Now we got a vibe going. I got the laugh. Like I know how to do. And I'm like, were you trying to be silly when you did that? Well, yes and no. There was part of me that I thought I could really draw it. And then they start out like, wait a minute. I don't know how to draw. What are we doing? Right. And then so then I was just like, here it is,

stick figure and I'm like, that's what I saw, officer. And so now we have this vibe and whatever. And then he says, okay, I need to get your phone number in case I have any more questions. And I'm like, okay, motherfucker. Yes, sir. Here's my phone number. So then like a couple days go by and then he calls

and he's like, you know, had a few more questions, boo boo. And then of course, we're just like flirting on the phone and it's one of those kinds of things. He didn't have no more questions. He was just trying to get a date with me. So we plan on going on date. He comes, he picks me up.

We go on a date. We went out a couple times. I love when to go eat sushi. Like just when did you let fancy him? Did you we retracted to him or still just okay? He was handsome. What I did think was funny though is he's a grown adult police officer. But he had braces. I don't know why that rink me a lot. He had full like mental braces full mental braces, but he was handsome. So he was on on the way to getting even more handsome.

And so we went to dinner a couple times. We hung out and what are the times he came, it was like the last time he came to pick me. Wait, were you shacking? Be honest. No. No. No. Just I think. No, because I, yeah, I grew up super criss-so. Okay. So there is no shagging. So you just fuck everyone's mind. Yeah. I say that. Okay. Yes. So you just fuck everyone's mind. Yeah. Right. I say that. Okay. Yes. So he comes pick me up and I get in his car and I'm like,

oh my gosh, I forgot my phone. I can't find it or whatever. So I'm looking for my phone and I say, let me see your phone so I can call myself really quick and hear if it's like in my bag or somewhere in the house. And so I dialed my number on his phone and I came up as Kevin on his phone. And I was like, wait a minute. Am I the side chick?

And it was at that moment that I realized I was his side chick. Like he's in a relationship with somebody and he's hiding me because he's programmed me as a guy's name in his phone. So every time he texts me, he's texting Kevin. Wow. So did you confront him? No, I just, I didn't talk to him anymore after that.

I was just going out of the car. Yeah. I honestly, I think I probably still went on the date and then when he dropped me off, I was like, mm-hmm, this, you know, I'm dead. And then I understand not picking that fight with a police officer. I feel like you just extricate yourself. It's got all your details in it as well you live. Right.

And also, I'm just not confrontational like that. I'm just like, oh, this is, Kevin doesn't fight. No. No. But it was such a shame. It would have been such a cute way to meet. Right. You know what I mean?

That's a strong movie, meet cute. And he knows that, that's son of a bitch. Bad dates. Well, before you go, I have a story of a date from a listener. They send theirs in every single week and they're amazing. And we have one this week from Amalia so I'm just going to read it to you and you can react as you like. So Amalia says, so this was more of a date night in with my long term boyfriend.

We owned and ran a pickle business so on this date night in we decided to get ahead of our orders and make more pickles. One of our best sellers was our spicy pickles. They had pickled, they had pickled, dill cucumbers, jalapenos, and Thai chili peppers. So once everything is sliced and diced, we're kissing and we're hooking up and then he puts his hands down my pants to stop fingering me and get me ready. And I'm obviously feeling really good.

But then I'm thinking to myself, wait, I feel too good. Have I ever felt this good before? What's happening? Oh, no. And my vagina starts warming up, tingling like crazy, but I mean, really warm. I tell my boyfriend to stop and ask him, wait, did you wash your hands after cutting up the jalapenos

and other peppers? And he looks at me with complete terror and remorse and he literally just run away. Two seconds later, I hear the sink turn on and him furiously washing his hands. Meanwhile, I now feel like my vagina is the opening of the gates to hell. And I could literally cook an egg on it.

I scream out to him, ice, ice, I need ice. So what was supposed to be a relaxing date night in, then turned into me shoving one ice cube up my vagina after another after laying on a towel As I try to cool off my volcano. We could never eat or look at our spicy pickles the same way That's so cool. They got a pig business So we know wrong Only a pig business winning

Oh man We've all been there though, haven't we? We've done that before. I have to pepper up over the giant it. I have never done that in anyone after a spicy Mexican meal, it's not great, it doesn't go great. I've had that where I've had something in my hands and then some of it, did you wash your,

I eat with my hands a lot and they'll beg you wash your hands hands and I'm like I think I did or one time I remember I just started seeing someone and I for some reason was trying to like incorporate icy hot like I remember like I think it can be okay. This is a long time. I think it can be okay around the nipple not directly on the nipple but like then that sensation does a little something if it's even just in proximity to the nipple, but I still had it on my hand. And then touch the person. And I remember I got flashes of when you were saying that where I was like, ice, ice, like what's on your hands? And I remember that. And then like the evening ends with just, like, I think that we ended up having to put yogurt on her. I was gonna say, yeah, with your mouth, they would be yogurt or milk. Like that's really better than ice or water.

I've also almost never remembered to wash my hands before going for a wee after having been cooking with chili. So I've gotten myself many many times after cooking. And so that's become quite dangerous. I know, and he chopped chilies with gloves because I can't be trusted not to burn my nether region. And I think we can end on that note everyone. I feel like that's a perfect place,

an image for me to leave you all with. I'm happy to have that image. Yeah, thank you all so much for coming and for telling me your stories and for letting me get to know you and for me getting to watch all of you get to know each other. It feels very, very bonding.

And now we're three producers who are gonna take over Hollywood. I feel like this has been incredibly productive and wonderful before you go. Can you tell everyone where they can find you and what you want them to watch or read, Terry starting with you. My Instagram is official Terry Hatcher and yeah, I guess that's it.

Great, great, great. Thank you. Terry, I'm gonna come find you on Instagram. Oh, okay, well, I'd love it. I think, Angela, I think I already follow you. I'm gonna follow everybody. I already follow it. Yeah, you're so funny.

And Emma. I'm gonna be going on tour again starting in January. Keep on my tour dates at Iamemowelman.com. And then I've got a new podcast with Betchers Media that comes out every Tuesday called Ask Men Anything. Mm-hmm, amazing. And Angela, my new hour special is called See I Won't. And it is on YouTube right now.

So you can check that out. Fabulous. Thank you so much. So nice to meet you can check that out. Fabulous. Thank you so much, so nice to meet you all. Thank you. Thank you. Bad dates is produced by smartness media and Wondery, created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Demetre Jamil.

That's me, produced by Stuart Bailey, produced and denoted by Devon Tori Bryant. Also engineered and edited by Karl McGraw. Talent producer is Anne Harris. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Music by Kushy and Ebb and Shletta. Executive producers are Will Arnet, Jason Bateman and Sean Hayes. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Coulson and Bernie Kaminsky. If you've had a bad date and you'd like to tell us all about it,

our number is 984-265-3283 and our email is baddatespod at gmail.com. We can't wait to hear all about it. That's all for this week. We will see you next time for more. Hello Prime Members, you can listen to Bad bad dates early and add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.