Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Daddy Whorebucks (w/ Blakely Thornton, Logan Guntzelman, and Justin Sylvester)

Episode Date: September 15, 2025

On an all new episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians Blakely Thornton, Logan Guntzelman, and Justin Sylvester to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Blakely has a jet set tale of deception and orphans set in the South Of France, Logan thinks she’s spoiled for choice but finds herself at the head of the class, and Justin’s story has a countdown clock: he has 30 days to close the deal. Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips. Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Blakely Thornton: @blakelythornton on socials, Yestergays podcast with Justin SylvesterJustin Sylvester: @justinasylvester on Insta, Yestergays podcast with Blakely Thornton, catch Justin on E! News or The Today ShowLogan Guntzelman: @placesitookashitthisyear on socials, buy your own deck of 52 dick pic cards (& two jokers!) Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Hello, hello, hello, gays, ladies, ladies and days. It's another episode of The Bad Dates podcast. I am your host, Joel Kimbooster, if you're just joining us today. The podcast is exactly what it sounds like from the title. some of my funniest friends from around the fucking globe people, and we sit and mine through our old dating trauma for your enjoyment. The stories can be funny, they can be traumatic, they can be just plain bad, but you will be laughing no matter what. And I am really excited for our panel. Today, it is star-studded as it always, is joining me is a pop culture anthropologist, a scientist even, and the creator of the phrase slutty little glasses, which I did not know. You can see them on OutTV's offshoot and hear them each week as one of the hosts of the podcast yestergays it's one of the most terrifying men on the internet blakely thornton hello hello everyone

thank you for joining me a well-earned title a well-deserved title i never want that lens to flip to me let's just say that um we also have joining us um one of the very last good comedians working today they're also a writer and an actress from barry and keep the mystery her comedy special is Logan Gunselman, boner technology. Please give it up for Logan Gunselman, everybody. Hello. Hello. He's over, right? It is, I wish you didn't have to include that in my intro. You have to, though. You have to. It is still my line of work. It is tough. It is tough these days. This skin of yours, you look like you just stepped out of the gilded age. Like, you have never seen the sign. I am a vampire. Like, you have never seen the sun. And I love it. And that, and that observation comes from our final guest of the day.

co-host from e-news. You've also seen them on The Today Show and Real Housewives at Beverly Hills. And he is the other host of the podcast yesterdays. It's Justin Sylvester. Hello. Thank you for having me. Of course. Thank you all for being here with me today. Now, as always, we start the podcast. We have gathered together a group of relationship experts, scientists, psychologists, matchmakers, et cetera. And they have gathered together for us a bunch of questions that you should ask yourself and your partner in order to, to have a successful relationship, dating experience. And today's question, in honor of Logan Gunslerman, and we'll get to why it's in honor of Logan Gunsler in a second,

it's what are the do's and don'ts of sending nudes to a new partner? Lately, we will start with you. Are you a nude sender in general? Okay, of course. Thank God. I mean, look at the material, yeah. Why wouldn't you? I'm an adult.

Good lighting. Good lighting is key. Good lighting is key, really. Good lighting. And just don't send anything you. ever be ashamed of seeing on the internet later. Why are we getting these photos with overhead fluorescent lighting? Mariah Carey-ass lighting.

It's homophobic. It is crazy. And it's like you had a choice. Like there's, it's, never have I ever needed to send a dick pick in a rush, in a panic. You know, it's never that big of a verse. It's never. Also, what you need to do is you only have this little bitty square.

You don't have to clean the whole bathroom. But bitch, if I see some soap scum, clean your area. Clean your area. Second rule aesthetic. If I see popcorn ceilings, shower curtain rods, like, just give me like a blank wall. Exactly. And at the end, and if nothing else, find the dimmer switch, bitch.

Okay? Find the dimmer switch. All day. Adjust the lighting. Justin, what is, what are your do's and don'ts? We kind of got there, but what are the do's and don'ts for you of sending nudes? I don't. You don't. No, I learned this with my new relationship.

I have not done it. And I've been with the guy for almost a year. No. Ever? Never. We've never sent anything to anyone. Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about in a relationship. Like, the guys that I'm really interested in. This is at the beginning. This is before you've gotten a year. Oh, no face, no case. No face, no case. Cut that face off. Like, that is huge. They don't care about the face anyway.

That is pretty huge. Cut him from the neck down. I'm a big fan, classically, I'm a classic butterface lover. Um, and, you know, and you know, trust me, I've heard it. But, no, I, like, yes, I'm someone who, I need you. I've said this on the podcast before, but it's like, I need somebody who had to look that way because they had no other choice. Shut up. And that is, that is, who worked and clawed their way into hotness. Logan, we turn to you finally, somewhat of an expert in this area.

What are the do's and don'ts of sending nudes to your partner? And you can speak as yourself and also as a person who's receiving that. As receive, as you were all listing. the requirements I was like straight men don't do any of they're taking photos in their office bathrooms you know what I mean like it's just the word it's a mirror with their penis out in the way you can see the phone in the mirror and and I'm like turn your phone I don't want to see your phone also in the mirror yeah and I also think if it's someone new unless they explicitly said hey send me a nude start out with like something kind of cheek where like maybe it's

the beginning of a naked body part and then see how they respond. Test the water, dip your toe in. Now, Logan, I want to turn to you really quickly before we dive into the mute of the podcast. The reason you're an expert in this is because you're currently selling a wear that is quite special. Yes. Let's tell the listeners about it. So a long time ago when I was, I just think as a woman, you receive a fair amount of unsolicited dick picks. And I used to have a joke I did that I was trying to collect.

52 so that I can make a deck of cards out of them. And then I finally hit that amount. And so I was like, well, I wonder how hard it is to make decks of cards. And it's not that hard. Wow. And I now sell them. Oh, wow. Yeah.

So this is like an open one. And so I like, this is like my very worn pack. How are you using the cards? How do you find, like, what number you get? How do you find, like, what number you get? Like, who's a king of hard? That's the thing. I tried to, uh,

equally represent all sizes and races and circumcised non-circumcised types and levels of equality for all. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. But here's my thing. You said, you know, when I finally reach 52, like, in gay days,

that's an hour and a half. That's a weekend in Palm Springs. We could have literally got you 52 and a day. I had a grinder account and I would be straightforward and then they didn't want to send it to me. Oh, that's crazy. A woman, a woman on grind or approach me and said, hey, I'm doing a project. I would have been like, I'm a feminist. I will have. I'm going on ally. I believe in equality. Yeah. Bad dates. I am going to turn now to the meat of the podcast, which is your bad date story, starting with Blakely Thornton. Now, Blakely,

give us a little context for where you are at today, relationship-wise, dating-wise. I am 100% single. A hundred percent single and ready to mingle. And is that sort of where you've been at, like where you generally find yourself in life? Yeah. For the past two years, yes. For the past two years. And what was going on before those, these past two years? A lot of situationships.

A lot of situations. I find I was in New York before where people are much more forthcoming about if they are in a relationship or an open relationship, whereas L.A. is kind of like you find out three months after. That's crazy to me. That's so crazy to me. Because as someone who is in an open relationship, I lead usually with, hey, do you see. see that guy over there? That's my fiance. Oh, no, they do not. Not in LA, baby. That's how I met you. You were like, hi. That's my fiance. I was like, oh, okay. No, I lead with it no matter what the situation is because, A, I love him, B, I want everyone on the same page. That's the proper way to do it.

And it is crazy, though, like, on my grinder profile, it even says, like, open relationship, it says in my profile, I'm dating somebody. And, like, to the number of guys that I will get in, like, the deepness of the conversation, deep into the conversation. And they will say, like, oh, wait, you have a boyfriend. And I'm like, hooked on phonics learned words for me. People have blinders. Read the damage.

So lots of situationships in New York and L.A. Have you ever been in a serious relationship? Yes. For about three and a half years, we lived together. Okay, that's not nothing. Broke up in June of 2020

on the first day of the Black Lives Matter protests. Oh, wow. And I hope he's dead. So where in your timeline does your story take place? My story takes place a month ago? Oh, wow.

I love a fresh tale. I love a fresh tale. The first of the 10th of July. Oh, it's 2025. She's specific. Yes. In Marseille, France. Oh, wow.

In Marseille, France. An international tale. What were you doing in France? I was there for men's fashion week and I said to take a respite with a banker and a friend actually. Fletcher was there. He set you up. I know he did. And Marseille and I, that man was the worst.

Well, let's dive in. Where did you meet this man? I met this man at the bar of the Ritz Hotel in Paris. Bragg. And he was, he said he ran a hedge fund. So I looked up everything about him because I didn't want to be one of those, like, you know, one of those black men that gets their head chopped off by some crazy white man. American Psycho.

Exactly. So I sent him all the, I sent my sister and five friends all his information and said, if you try to kill me, there are enough people that know of me on the internet. And you told him this. Yes. I said, if you try to murder me, there are enough people that know me on the internet where you will get caught. I will drop a pin to where you live, to where you work, your children, your ex-wife, all those things. So you met him at the bar.

How quickly did you do your background research and your, oh, working to the friend? Okay. Because I was like, because I had a hotel, I had, for corporate reasons, a hotel room at the Ritz. I was like, you want to come upstairs? And he was like, my place is nice. And I was like, sure, bitch. Oh, sure, this is a grand hotel. But then I looked it up.

I was like, okay, cool. You have a nice place. You've a place in the South of France. So I went down there. and it was kind of, if there hadn't been multiple people... You went with him to the south of friends? I finished up my work with my friends and went to the south of France with backup.

There were four of us there. There was one of my friends, his one of friends, he was his former banking partner and his friend's son. Hold on, Logan, just so you know, for context. When the gays are international, anything goes.

Anything goes. Like, our lives sound like a dateline episode. I was like, in my fair time law? We should all have been murdered several times. Yes. Oh, 1000. When girls are like, I don't go to a graveyard. a podcast devoted to each of our

disappearances. I should have been gone girl several times. But yes, my friend came with me from London and every day proceeded to be a new lie we would find out about. He said he was 54.

And then the first night when we were all at dinner together, he was like, I swam the National Olympic Trials in 82 and 84. And I do quick math. And I'm like, oh, so you swam the Olympic trials at 10? Wow. Okay, you can do that. Groundbreaking.

So I clock that, let it go. the next night. We're talking again. I go, how old are you? We're at a swim club? And there's five of us at dinner. How old are you? He's like, I'm 54. I was like, well, you said last night, you swam the Olympic trials in 8284. Don't try it. He goes, I said 85, 86. I go, okay, so you were 11? Yeah. Champagne was tired. What an easily verifiable thing. We all have on, at our fingertips the answer to this question. Right. And it's like, and so brazen. And in a group and we're all drunk. And to what end again, you're already there.

I'm already there. He already got you. It doesn't matter how old you're at this point. And also would you, oh, instead of 54, you're 61, never mind I'm out. Exactly. It's not that big of a difference. Come on. No, I would jump off the boat. I would jump right off the fucking boat.

And it doesn't seem like, I'm sorry, you swam the Olympic trip. Like, if you're going to lie, if you're going to make up a lie about that's Olympics related, at least say you qualified. Right? Like, so you're on the team. But then it, because he's dumb enough where he's like, well, they can Google who qualified, but not do the math of the year. But not the year. So we're all at dinner.

And I say, he's like, do you owe my ID? I said, yeah, give me your ID. And I hold out with my hand. I said, give me, give me your password. He's like, really? And I said, really, homie. Yeah, for real. And then he proceeds to get up and walk into, because we're outside on a cliff.

It's a beautiful restaurant, Cliffside restaurant, Marseille, and scream at the entire staff. No. He's like, he has to have that energy go somewhere. and it can't go to me because you were ready. I got to say normally the stories that come traipsing through our doors happen in Burbank. Okay, so the fact that this is happening

in Marseille of all places is at least you at least you had that. It was wonderful. And then the next day was the boat day. So then he tells us, oh, we have to keep things kind of like conservative so you can't wear speedos. I'm like, we're in France.

Wait, yeah. He tells us we can't wear speedos on the boat because his two employees at his hedge fund who are ostensibly straight are going to be on the boat and I said I don't care this is France They're your employees

Also you have two gays Staying in the bottom They know you're gay They know you're a Phagotron 5,000 Aren't Speedos Kind of like the only male bathing suit in France? Straight guys wear speedos in Europe Also these are 207 year old Frenchmen

They probably kissed more men than him Yeah Yeah yeah yeah So the whole day on the boat Is interesting We're all kind of now trauma bonding against him He's become very annoying to everyone including his partner, his ex-like, his ex-like business partner and his partner's son.

We're all in a group text together talking about him on the boat. Like I'm like, I'm going to New York in a week and I'm like going to go hang out with Jack for his birthday. Hey, Jack. So we're all like, this guy's so fucking annoying. So we're all like, what will fix this? Let's get drugs to like mellow us out. So like, who always has drugs? The boat captain.

Is that true? Oh, this man, it was at our doorstep and we'd get back from the boat. Wow. It was like, wow. We're getting travel tips. That was great to know. Amazing. I mean, it is sort of, you know, what is maritime law, you know?

Exactly. It just seems very lucy-goose. He put us on a signal chat and we were, bam, it was there, we'd go back. Also on the boat, when you go to bed, the party starts. So if you can stay up a little bit longer and get in with the crew, that's when the real party's doors. Oh, I punched below deck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She gets real. Some crazy, like, Middle Eastern billionaire came over and he came to dinner at the house.

And then he was such a horrific person. I said, I have to go poop and just left. Wow. You could have given any reason. I do like that it was that. You really? Like, I have IBS. I want to make a statement that says,

don't come fucking get me. Because you can't be like, oh, I'm going to go to take a call. Because then somebody could come be like, where are you? I'm shitting. Don't bother me. This is over for me.

I love that you went there. At this point, I'm also like, I don't like you. I'm being pretty clear at this point. There's something about I have to go poop that also shuts down any, thought of sex this is not happening

so then what happened so then the next day it's Marseille pride it's Saturday me and my friend Fletcher like we want to go do pride things he's like oh we're having a garden lunch we're like no we're going to go to the rocks and find the Brooklyn of the south of France and like

find you men like whatever the big party is at night so we come back being like hey we're going to go to this pride part he's like oh I can't be seen at a gay club and I'm like oh you're fully closeted not only are you a liar you're full, like, you are not out to anybody outside of, like, your friends.

I also forget that we went to dinner the second night, and he told everybody at the table we were dating. I didn't find this out until after the fact. So, like, the lies are building up. It was truly insane. So we go out for pride. I meet the cutest man who I still follow on Instagram, but I'm like, you know what? I'm not going to go fuck this man.

I'm going to be respectful. This is now a botanic trip. I'm going to be an adult, like 25-year-old me. Yeah. Let's do it. get it in in the basement. I'm like, you know what?

I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. I'll catch you in London. Because you are staying at his place, right? Okay. So I'm like, I don't want to do that. Okay, that's fair. So we go back, we're out until 4 a.m.

Jack came with us, our little straight, woke king. We get a girl makes out with him. We're on a group text. It's fun. We come back at three or four in the morning. And so the next day he comes up, he goes, why didn't you come to bed last night? I was like, what?

I don't like you. I was like, we're not sexual. Yeah. And at this point, have you kissed? Have you done anything? We, like, kissed night one? But then he proceeded to be, like, a bigger liar and a stranger and a weirdo. So I was like, I don't want to deal with this. So then he was weird about that the next day.

We had a great day still. We watched Mimbledon, ordered pizza. Everybody has to leave the next day. We're all sitting down there. And he says, oh, I have this Brazilian coming over. He's like my hung black Brazilian. And, like, I'm the only black person there. Everybody else is white.

And I'm like, oh. I go, why is that relevant to me? Okay, like, cool. And he's like, but he wants me to go work to where he is. I go, don't be in, don't be a boomer, send him an Uber. Like, just have him come here also. I don't like you. Everybody else's jaws dropped because I didn't realize why.

He told them we're dating. So they think he's being wildly disrespectful. I'm like, what's everybody doing? Like, I've been sleeping head to toe with Fletcher for five nights now. Like, what are we talking about? Yeah. So it kind of kills the vibe. We're all, like, smoking.

Like, the four of us ended up watching Rupal's drag race till like 11.30 p.m., like me, Fletcher. Jack the son and his partner His business partner He's like, y'all are cool So we're like smoking, we drink and rosette To 1130 They're like we gotta go the next morning

So they go to bed He comes downstairs an hour and a half later Knocks to the door and goes Are you coming to bed? And I go No, you have a Brazilian coming I wanted to give you your space He goes well that's not happening

So are you coming to bed? And I said Oh great I love to be the second option And I said No, I will not. Like, thank you. Good night.

Oh, my God. I also 100% think he made that up to gauge your reaction. Because it was like, well, I have to go to him. I don't want to go to him. And as soon as it's like, well, I've solved your problem. I'll send it over for him. He's like, well, now he's just not coming. By the way, he would have picked him up on horseback.

He was like, oh, yeah, yeah. You're like, I'll go get him. So I literally go to Fletcher. I go, is he going to kill us? Because at this point, I'm like, oh, he's in an alternate reality. like it was like amusing before but now it's like oh you're a crazy person like you're a little crazy person and i'm in your house but i was like there's four three four people there so the next morning i'm like fletcher like tell me when you get out of here because i'm i'm fucking blocking

this man on everything like instagram WhatsApp all the things and i get a text saying oh by the way like my orphan is coming over to like do my to like wash to watch my dog I didn't know like your orphan The orphan is a 25 year old Black female law student named Fatima Who I haven't met before I was like the girl who you like Helped her Law School scholarship

I'm like did you just call her my orphan Yeah I'm sure she'd love I was like we gotta get the fuck out of here So like I leave I'm going back to Paris I was like text me when you get out of here Fletcher please so he texts me I block him on everything And then the dude is like

He's like oh so and so is texting me about like You let the pair of pants here Which I left, it was a gorgeous pair of pants And I'd been gifted at men's fashion And I said, you know what? Tell him to send them to London to you. That's faster than me. Like, whatever.

I go, but if he asked him my address, say no. Say no. I was like, we charge it to the game. It's over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he, of course, he's like, well, what's Blakely's forwarding address in L.A.? I was like, nope.

He's blocked. I will never see this man again. And that was my gay get-out story in the South of France. Did you get the pants, though? No. I love that he has an orphan, and usually when people have an orphan, they're just your children at that point. Or they're like under 25.

He's fully Daddy Horbock's at this point. Possible title of Ep. Write that down. So Blakely, what is, what would you say is the big lesson you took away from this experience? The lesson is if you don't have the mentality to be a sugar baby, don't try it. Bad Gates. Turning now to our next storyteller, we're splitting up the boys, and we're going now to Logan. Logan, same question is Blake Lee.

What is your current status in terms of relationship? I have been with my boyfriend for like three years in change. We live together. Okay. So, yeah, just pretty nice and boring, which is always what. And that's sort of what we're all trying to get to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all trying to get there.

I know I love my boring little life now. And what we do is so excited. We're recording a podcast right now. It's crazy. We need a little stability at home. So you're in a relationship now. Where in your history does your bad story take place? With Dane Cook.

Yes. It was a date with Dane Cook. No, I was too old for him already. A decade ago. And this was one of the rare times. because in between dating comedians, which is usually I would develop a crush on a friend and then at a certain point be like,

do you want to make out? Which is not a good way to do that, but that was just an easy way to settle. If it works, it works. And I've never had anyone I've asked say no. So I'm only asking the people. I'm not asking someone who's going to be like, absolutely not.

Why would you ask me that? But so then outside of that, I would sometimes like, Tinder was already a thing or I would like drink in me to someone who was not in the world of comedy so I could at least, like, if we, if I didn't want to hook up with them anymore, I wouldn't have to see them. It disappears into the last, yeah.

But this was a decade ago. This is, I ended up having a crush on, not one, but two baristas at my local coffee shop. Oh, that's real. Yeah. Okay. How local? How close? It was, I don't live there anymore, but I could walk. It was walking distance.

And so what I would do is I would walk there in the morning, you get coffee. And one of them was working, and I would sit and do work. And in the afternoon, the other one would come in. And I would, like, talk. to both of them, and I couldn't decide which one I liked. This is such a classic hijinks shoot. You are just in the new girl. You are like, it is so, it's great.

This is a rom-com. And it was, but like, because one, he was like in a band and was moody and like aloof. And then the other one was always nicer and more friendly. And it was the classic decision of like, do you want the one that's nice to you? Or are you trying to like get the other ones? It's like Twilight brought to you by Starbucks. Yes, exactly. And then one time I was there in the afternoon and one of them was like,

like, oh, hey, me and the other one that I had a crush on are going to go get drinks later if you want to come. Because I'd, like, become friendly with, I told them I did stay, like, we had talked about that, whatever. And you're at top. So you thought this was a three way. Yeah, exactly. You thought that this was like the invite for the three way. This is going to be fun. I'm going to find one of them. But in my head, I was like, well, I've only ever hung out with them at this coffee shop, maybe hanging out with them in the wild.

I, like, can see which one I have a better chance with, like, whatever. So I said I would go with them And then I also like Don't really dress that feminine But I was like well I gotta really Every camera turned to Logan Take it my shirt It's a men's size medium

But like so the only like Slutty shirt I had was a bathing suit That I wore under jeans So I wore a bathing suit And jeans and heels And also the bar they were going to Is walking distance so I was like I can get as drunk as I want

and like talk to both these guys and like either way this is a great opportunity one of them is going to I'm going to be able to hook up with your head like the numbers again are already money balling so then so I meet up with them

I get there and they're already sitting there with an insanely hot woman with huge boobs who's she's in it's not a bathing suit but it looks similar like and so I was like well I guess you know whichever one I don't yeah you're the queen up with there's another you're the queen up yeah so and so then I

like sit down and and we all start talking and it turns out this is definitely not a date that I've been invited to. This woman is their friend. She's a stripper. A friend they both want to have sex with her clearly. She said to them that she wanted to get into stand-up comedy. Oh my God. They invited me to give her pointers. No. My God. Yes. Honestly, though, like that means they thought you were good. I mean, they never even said. That's not. I don't like. Are you looking for someone to see for your talent? when you were not even a little bit I like didn't even want them I forgot I told him I did cut when they brought it up for half second I was like why did you invite me to talk to her oh right that's what what so then I had to give this stripper who was nice you're teaching a UCB 101 class yes I love that yeah I did tell her because I was mad I told her everyone loves racist jokes so I don't know she was Roseanne Bard I mean it turns out you were Right, though.

Yeah, but it was just, but, like, just when you think, like, oh, well, I guess it's a little worse because there's another woman here, but that's fine. And then it's like, oh, she's a stripper. So, like, obviously they both would be more excited to hook up with a stripper than the woman who drinks coffee and shits at their coffee shopping. You know what I mean? And you have to ask for that key and they know exactly what's happening. And asking your crush for the bathroom key is so humiliate. It's so sad. Because I'm like, are they timing how long I've been in here?

They have to. One thousand. And then on top of that, it was like, no, it's not just that she's a stripper and they're both. interested. It's, this is a class that I'm now, this is a learning annex that I am now teaching. And they are just sort of, um, they're auditing. They're not even. Yeah. And they're just sort of both sitting on her side. Like it was the three of them on one side of the table and me on the other side of the table. This is so crazy. They're like the most fucked up to like gay parents, uh, stage parents. Yeah. Yeah. Just two proud dads waiting to fuck their hot daughter, uh, after they

picked her up from comedy class. And that band is now imagine dragon. Yeah. Because I was even like They were like this is our friend I don't remember her name And I was like where'd you guys meet And she was like at the strip club And I was like oh that's Oh they make friends there?

Yeah And she was like well first you know They came with friends And then we all just got to talking And then I wanted to be like I don't even know she is your friend Like yeah If you met when she was giving

So it was just sometimes You're just the broker for the comedy class Yeah And it's you know when you have those like Memories of something humiliating And you have to physically just go like Oh Like, periodical, I'll be like, oh, my God, I forgot about that.

It's second-hand embarrassment, but except it's your life. It's me. It's my life. I lived it. Have you run into them ever? One of them, weirdly, has showed up at a couple comedy things. Because this coffee shop, like every coffee shop, for a period of time, they had a comedy show there that I did once years later and didn't realize because I didn't look at the address until I pulled up. And I was like, oh, my God, I can't believe it's here.

And then, and also at this thing where I was, like, teaching that woman, I just got hammered and then walked home at this. So it ended okay The thing is I really hope she didn't fuck either of them I hope this was just a cycle of use You know like they were using you She was using them You ultimately

I guess it wasn't a full circle It was sort of a spiral Yeah I'm too scared to ask that I honestly don't think But I also think I have this problem That I need to not do Where I usually

For the illusion of being a cool girl Or whatever I'll usually be like I'll get my owner or I'll get the first round just being like then you can get one or two after but like

also to make it clear like I'm not trying to use this person like if you want to buy me drinks go for it but I don't so I'm pretty sure I probably bought

all of my drinks that night I think so yeah yeah yeah yeah you need Dr. Ruth you need to see Dr. Ruth wrong pocket

and just for our listenership just say their full names in the name of the coffee shop out loud because I just it is groundwork And I don't, it was like my first apartment when I, because I grew up in the San Fernando

Valley and then it was like my first not living at home anymore apartment where, and of course I moved to like the heart of Hollywood, which is dumb. Yeah. And then, which, unless you guys live there, then it's a great decision. But like, once I moved, I was like, oh, I had never have any reason to go to this coffee shop over again. Yeah. And so I love stories where you start out feeling like you're in the power position of like,

Oh, I'm going to choose between these two men. And then so rudely awakened. Well, Logan, that was an incredible tale. A really tragic one, I have to say. Bad dates. Turning finally to our last storyteller of the day, it's Justin Sylvester. Now, Justin, you let us in a little bit earlier when we were talking about dickpicks. You are currently seeing someone.

It's been about a year. Yes. And it's going well. Yes. And for a Scorpio, that's kind of scary. Yeah. There's a long time for a Scorp. But I'm really happy that you said something.

You said, you just hope that it gets easier. That's what you want an easy relationship. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think a lot of times, like, I think, oh, am I bored? But I think it's just easy. No, yeah. And I need to sit in that. Being, the thing is, is like, boredom, it's not like super pronounced in my relationship,

but it's like the ability to sit and do nothing, say nothing. comfortably, I think there's a difference between that and being and feeling an overwhelming sense of boredom. Yeah. You know, I'm easy. I feel easy in this relationship. And I should say like, you know, obviously relationships are work, you know, like it's not going to always feel easy, but there's like certain areas where it shouldn't be hard.

You know, like there's like certain things about being in a relationship that you do have to work out, you know, and you and, but like the like being able to be in a space sitting on the couch next to your partner that should not feel difficult it should it should not feel like pulling teeth to be able to talk or like um just exist with the person you're sitting next to i'm also a bitch who like i can look at a relationship i can look at a guy and be like all right this is not going to go past the three month mark or this is just physical and we can keep it at that we're cool i'm very good about ejecting out of stuff that doesn't serve me yeah or all sometimes like with friends who will overthink i like where they're like well i don't know if we'll be

compatible in the long term because of X, Y, Z, and we'll get out early. I'm always like, do you want to see them again? Yes or no? And if the answer is yes, I go, then see them again. And it's like, it's as simple as that. It's so crazy how that simple question is hardly ever thought to be asked. A little bit of backstory. When I grew up, when I hit puberty, I was really ugly.

And my mom told me, you'll grow into it at like 27, 28. This is a theme on our podcast. Listen, again, thank God this is now a visual medium. But, like, I can't imagine what it was. There was like a, it was a whole situation. But my mom was like, your dad hit it at 27. It was live for hit. 27 is kind of late.

Your sad is a long time. It was a long time. There are a lot of boys that are like baby-faced boys until they're, like, that they do have to grow into their. I was that. Yeah. She was not lying because at 28 on my birthday, woke up and was like, oh my God, what happened here like oh my god what did he's come from like it was like a weird

like she called it my like a Krio banshee woman from Louisiana I'm running like this out and you know I was best friends and still am with my best friend Shaw is Turkish and Iranian and my other best friend is Colombian and Mexican

and he's beautiful a community college brochure yes yeah we're United College of Benetton for sure beautiful and they had these beautiful bodies, and I was always the duff. It was always the duff until I was 29. And then she got real. Your age keeps changing.

It's right. It's a lot. And then it was 28. Then it was 29. Do you happen to own a townhouse in Marseille by any chance? So once I started dating, I realized in West Hollywood, for those of you don't live here, there's a lot of crossover that happens in West Hollywood.

And friends can get a little competitive. Territorial. Oh, 100%. Like, I had a friend who would have a crush on somebody and you'd be off limits. Like, even if it was a crush, and even if he had another boyfriend, even if my friend was in a relationship with someone, if he had a crush on someone, you could not go after that person. That's so crazy. It's so crazy. It was so wild.

But I was young. And so what I learned to do was I would keep all my shit on the DL. And I would meet these guys and I would date these guys and I would keep it to myself. and I thought it was like a smart move and da-da-da-da-da. So I'll never forget this. On my 33rd birthday, I invited six friends to Cabo. Okay. Ultimate Girl's trip.

Ultimate Girl's trip. We're having a good time. At this time, I had been seeing somebody for about three or four months. It was like progressing. We were like talking. He had just got out of a relationship. So we were taking it slow. he was older so I thought maybe he was how much older

50 okay 17 years yeah 17 years live some life but I was jacked the fuck up about this guy but I was gonna keep it on the low which you know what like it's better to do that than be I was this person who was like there's somebody new for three days I think it's going to be something sitting out safe the dates and then like five days later you're like oh actually I'm humiliated so you i think that's the smarter play for personally i'm rooming with my friend nick again it's

like maybe 15 people at this resort the four seasons cabo had just opened oh damn okay they gave us like this hookup so unlike the third night i've had a few tequilas i get to dinner we're talking about what's going on in our lives i go in this rant about like you know what fuck it i've been seeing this guy i'm really excited about it i'm really excited about it and I literally just want to tell you guys and I start describing the guy and I'm like, yeah, he just got out of a relationship. He was married, so like we're taking it really slow.

Oh, no, yada, yada, yada. My friend Nick looks at me and he goes, is it Craig? Oh, no. Oh, no. And I said, yeah, yeah. So I'm like, damn, did I describe him that well? And my friend Nick goes, oh, my God.

I'm seeing him too. Oh, no. So everyone is cracking up laughing at this dinner table, cracking up because it was so dramatic the way I told the story. Then there was another table who overheard the story. Shut up. No. They're like, oh, my God, we can't believe this happened.

Yada, yada, yada. And I'm like trying to act like it's not phasing me. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to act like it's not phasing me. It's my birthday. Fuck this. So I proceeded to get blacked out drunk. We're like making jokes about it like the whole night.

I still have two days left with these guys. Why don't you FaceTime, Craig? Yeah, I would have FaceTime at the table. At the table. Wait, wait. Destiny's child song. So then we get back to our room. I take a shower.

We both take a shower. We're getting ready for bed. We're like talking, but we're not talking about the elephant in the room. And I'm like, I'm just going to go to bed and whatever. He flicks the light off. He says, good night, girl. And I say, good night. And he goes, by the way, you have 30 days to close this deal or else I'm going in for it.

Now this is a rom-com. Now this is a rom-com. Who is this devil woman? And I was at, damn, Brolein, I call him Broline. His new name is Broline because she will take her man. She's the bro Jolene. I was like 30 days to close the deal. He goes, yeah, yeah, you got 30 days.

Is he going to stay in it? Is he going to keep trying? No, he's like, I'm going to get out of it. Okay. You have 30 days to close the deal. And I was like, holy fuck. That was pretty, that's pretty badass that you gave me 30 days. I know.

I honestly, kind of slight move. I was like, kind of like, I was like, kind of. You like this. You have one month. You have a fiscal month. Yeah, it's your birthday? Yeah. So here's my gift to you.

I give you 30 days. I can't give you 30 days. Well, in 30 days, he ended up coming back from Brazil with a new husband. Oh, my God. So we both missed out of that. What? And this is a guy he met and married while you were in escrow? Oh, my God.

I lost the deal while I was in escrow. Was he married to a woman previously? This sounds like a rash decision. Okay. My birthday was in November. you know all the girls go to Brazil used to go to Brazil back then for New Year's Eve I was like go live your life yeah I was like go live your life

you just got a relationship when he got back from Brazil he was like I think I met someone and I was like no you didn't you were rolling you were rolling in Rio okay that's what happened when white gays are like I love the you don't love the fucking culture in Brazil you love brown people who love a strong dollar shut the fuck up Shut the actual fuck up Wow

And so But did you start dating him Before your friend Nick did Is that why he gave you the 30 days Or was it a birthday gift? I think it was a birthday gift Okay I also think that Nick had 15 fires on the

15 fires going And he also brought one In his urethro too Yeah probably And he knows that I don't normally Come out and talk about guys that I've dated I keep it close Because I don't get that many shots

Here in L.A. Now in New York motherfuckers be fucking around with it. Well, here's the difference between New York and L.A. too, is a couple things. A, first of all, I could, you, there are probably an equal amount of gay men in both cities. But something about being in L.A., because it's so concentrated, it feels like there are 17 of us. Like, you could hook up with somebody in New York. I lived in Brooklyn.

If they lived in, like, Hell's Kitchen, they would disappear. I would never see or hear from them again. Never run into them. We did not go in the same circles, not the same bars. You're not the same parties. But something about LA, because there's not that much for us to do here, ultimately on the weekends, we all sort of, if you are interested in partying in the same way that you do, then like you're self-selecting and you're going to see the same amount of people. And then the other problem with New York versus L.A. is that a lot of people say that the guys in L.A. are hotter. And now there are so many hot guys in L.A. but the difference between New York hot and L.A. hot is every gay guy in L.A. wants to look the same kind of hot.

That's it. Whereas there's a lot of more lanes in New York. One thousand percent. And then here it does feel like there's like a model specific. I call it the beige gay. It's like a 8% body fat. And you have a body that's built to look good in a speedo. But it doesn't look good in motion.

It's a weird thing. And the other thing about this in L.A. is you could have sex with the hottest person you have ever seen in your entire life. And it will be bad because they have never been given a note. No, never. No feedback. Nothing. And also in New York, what I love is,

there are so many lanes, but everyone's crossing over into everyone else's lane. In L.A., everyone's, the gays stay in their own lane. It's like the clone fucking started like back in the 2017s. And it never stopped.

Instagram fucked it up. It's body by Instagram. The clone fucking. Now, when I, listen, I met you in Fire Island on my first miracle. And baby, doesn't know you are gays.

They're out here. It's a different breed. They were out here. It's a different breed. They were feral. It's a hoot and nanny out there. Well, you were also. Ground zero for feral behavior, too.

So it's a little bit of confirmation by this. Yeah, it's like, oh, you saw me in Fire Island. Yeah. That was my first time. Oh, really? That's my first and only time. I need to go back again. Yeah.

Maybe on a less crazy week. On a less crazier weekend. It took me four days to figure out what was going on because it was so quick and so fast, I think I need to go there on like a regular weekend. Yeah. It's a dog at a dog park for sure. Now, Justin, what did you learn from this experience? ultimately that you have taken with you into this now semi-successful year-long relationship.

Yeah, I will tell you, from that day on, all those friends that were like, you know, fucking hoarding crushes and yada, yada, yada, yada. The 30-day rule became a thing in our group. Oh, wow. I honestly think that's the most egalitarian thing. I love a clear boundary. Yeah, statue of gay limits. Love a clear boundary.

The greatest thing because, like, oh, you have, okay, you have a 38, there's your 30-day notice. You can apply for 60, but 30 is what you're going to get. A five-word extension. You can apply for an extension. Exactly. Depends on what your credit score. Exactly. So I, honestly, as a joke, yes, 30-day notice was crazy.

But as a principal holding on to, there's not a lot of single eligible men. You can't just hold on to them for seven months because you made out at a circuit party. Exactly. It's the toilet paper during the beginning of the pandemic. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Is he still married to that man?

he is still married to that man Wow love is love He's probably doing this man Yeah Well we'll talk off Mike I want to I want some I was gonna ask it too Bad dates

Wow this is incredible What a time has been had in this serious XM radio Room that we are currently now filming from This has been a lot of fun Blakely Thornton where can the people find you What are you doing these days You can find me at the yestergays

With Justin Sylvester our podcast You can find me on Instagram at Blakely Thornton and also I think TikTok at Blakely Thornton. Yeah, I believe that's it. And then a soon-to-be show called Running Dialogue where I will be asking questions on a treadmill. And if you don't answer, we speed up. Oh, I hate it.

Good luck straights. Now, Justin, we have a little bit of a spoiler of one place that the listeners can find you. But where can people find you? What are you doing these days? Justin A. Sylvester on Instagram, Justin's Fester TV on TikTok. But I'm on e-news every night at 11

on the Today Show every other Monday. Wonderful. Do him the scoop and just running around your city. Check him out on TV. Logan Gunsleman, where are you doing? Where can people find you? And where can people pick up this amazing deck of cards? The Queen of Spades, bitch.

Yeah, that's what my mom also liked that one. I'm shaking the Queen of Spades. I love when everyone has really good informative handles for social media. On Instagram, I'm places I took a shit this year. You need to remember Yeah Well my last name's hard to spell It has like every consonant

And then on TikTok I'm places I took a shit again Because my original account got banned Okay I'm just like Traveling and performing around I'm actually going to be in London and Stockholm

The next two weeks So and then I'll be back And just look on those And then on Instagram In the link in my bio Is an easy way for you to purchase your own deck of 54 because of the Joker's

I love that and truly look up her dates, see her if she's in your town, I'm not kidding, Logan, it's one of the few people in L.A. I will stay to watch the set because it is actually good and inspiring and funny. I'm Joel Kambuster. That has been another episode of Bad Dates. If you liked what you listened to today, just

now or any time in the past, give us a rating and a review five stars, please. It really helps people find the podcast. And until next week, that has been another episode of Bad Dates. Bye-bye. Bye. Bad Dates is a production of smartless media created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited, and engineered by Devin Tori Bryan. Produced by Ann Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana. Executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Baitman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Brom.

Keeminski. Music by Kushi and Evan Schleller. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at bad datespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3-283. That's 984-265-3-283. That's all for this week. We will be back for more. Bless me, I.