Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - His Little Doings (w/ Leanne Morgan, Franchesca Ramsey, and Leslie Liao)

Episode Date: November 13, 2023

On this episode of Bad Dates, Jameela welcomes comedians Leanne Morgan, Franchesca Ramsey, and Leslie Liao to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Leanne has trouble opening up until she really opens up, Franchesca’s date does a disingenuous dance of deception, and Leslie recalls one date who was way too relaxed, and one who was incapable of relaxing. If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it.Franchesca Ramsey: @chescaleigh on social media, Lemme Fix It podcastLeanne Morgan: @leannemorgancomedy on social media, https://www.leannemorgan.com/Leslie Liao: @resrieriao on social mediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I don't mind a Zoom meeting. Like, I don't mind a productive conversation. Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm wet. Yeah. Showing up to our first date with a PowerPoint, I'm just pulling out all the stops. PowerPoint, how they're invite protein shake, errands. Yes.

I like productivity and gross mindset. Okay, yeah. Instead of flowers, I'm showing up with like tube socks, practical highlight to you. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Things I will use. What will I use? Toilet paper, tampons, pens, water. We did it! Thank you! Oh!

Oh, I'm so excited to have you all here. I'm a massive fan of all of you and I think you're all great. I'm a huge fan of you. I'm a huge fan of you. I'm a huge fan of you. I'm a huge fan of you. I'm a huge fan of you. I'm a huge fan of you. I'm a massive fan of all of you and I think you're all great and I can't wait to hear your filthy and funny stories. Thank you so much for coming here to share, to share in the circle of trust.

Before we get into the actual stories, I was wondering if I could know a little bit about how you guys feel about dating and what you are like to date. Francesca, I'm going to start with you. Ooh, I feel like I'm having a delayed adolescent experience as a date or I didn't really date in high school. I, a combination of like, you know, being the lone black girl, the bunch of white people and not knowing I was hot to like college.

And then also which, you know, it's a brown girl experience. And then getting into a serious relationship, getting married, I got divorced in 2019. And so I missed out on like dating apps and like casual, like missed out on all of that so I'm and then the pandemic happened so like I'm just kind of like in these streets trying to figure it out not really sure What I'm doing

But I'm making the best of it. I mean you're glowing. So it looks like it's going well and you're having fun, right? I mean, it's a little bit of post-Jim sweat, but sure, I'll say that it's glowing. I was extremely smug. It's extremely smug thing for me. And Leslie, what about you? Do you enjoy dating? I'd like to retire. I don't know. Completely different. What forms I can fill out. I think Francesca and I could have potential with each other. Like I also, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, one note though, I'm straight. But it's just, I think, I always thought that was healthy to not put all your emotional eggs in a basket of like a guy because I was that girl in my 20s.

I was the one that got it in a relationship and then disappeared on all my friends. And then the second he left, I was like, hey girls and they were like, you know, but I don't enjoy it. So I think I should just change the way I approach it. I don't enjoy a traditional date. I don't enjoy it. So I think I should just change the way I approach it. I don't enjoy a traditional date. I don't enjoy scheduling a meeting at a bar.

Maybe that's because I call it a schedule evening. Leave me alone. Oh my gosh. What would you like to do? Just like power-flying? Oh no. No. Maybe like run some errands together.

Let's get some, let's make it a productive day. Let's, let's, you know, genius. Like, you know what, if you can enjoy someone's company at the DMV, then I feel like that's it, that's your personal. Yeah, forever. Let's not romanticize what life is gonna be. Let's not go have a picnic at a waterfall. Let's be really real.

And Leanne, how about you? Oh my gosh, I was so dysfunctional and twisted and lost when I was your age and the people that I dated. I think I was a fun date, but I was needy. I did not have anything going on. I relied on, you know, me and I look, I mean, it's a lot to have to look back and realize how stupid I was.

But no, no, no, no, no, you're not allowed to be called stupid. The infusion of messaging of how to behave in romance via society, via your man, via Dion Warwick, you know, via all these different, like, amazing songs that I still love so much. But, like, the messaging through all the movies and everything was all directing us to that. Our generation is the one, kind of, because of social media, I think, start to talk about it, just realize we have shared experiences and unpack it together. So I will not have you. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. But I bet I was fun when I wasn't needing, you know? I think so. Okay. Okay, but I bet I was fun when I wasn't needy, you know? I think so. Sure. I get it. I very much so get that sense.

Torment aside, I imagine so. Bad beats. Hello listeners, this is Mike Corey of Against the Odds. You might know that I adventure around the world while recording this podcast. And over the years, I've learned that where I stay when I travel can make all the difference. Airbnb has been my go-to place for finding the perfect accommodations. Because with hotels, you often don't have the luxury of extra space or privacy. Recently, I had a bunch of friends come down to visit in Mexico.

We found this large house and the place had a pool, a barbecue, a kitchen, and a great big living room to play cards, watch movies, and just chill out. It honestly made all the difference in the trip. It felt like we were all roommates again. The next time you're planning a trip, whether it's with friends, family, or yourself, check out Airbnb to find something you won't forget. Everyone leaves a legacy.

I like Mr Gorbachev. We can do business together. For some, the shadow falls across decades, even centuries. I do not. It is unacceptable to have figures like roads glorified. But it also changes. Reputations are reexamined by new generations who may not like what they find.

Picasso is undeniably genius, but also a less than perfect human. From Wondering and Goal Hanger podcasts, I'm AfroHersh. I'm Peter Frankertburn. And this is Legacy. A brand new show exploring the lives of some of the biggest characters in history. To find out what Bear Past tells us about our present. Venus Amon was constantly told to sit down and shed up your the angry black woman.

The name of Napoleon still rings out in the petter of the guides who thrive on the tourist trade. Search and follow Legacy to listen to the full trailer. ["Fall Trailer"] ["Fall Trailer"] But Leanne, I'd love for you to tell your story first. It's called Rinestone. Oh, my Lord. OK.

When I was in the 80s dating, I was attracted to man that hated their mother. I was attracted to people who were broken. I think I was broken. I don't mean to get, you know, this is all fun, but I was, I think that I was attracted to people that, and I wanted to fix them. I thought that I was a therapist and I wasn't, but I did get an undergraduate in child and family studies. But anyway, I thought I could fix everybody and I wanted people that were pitiful.

So when someone came along to try to date me that was smart and good looking and kind, that really threw me for a loop. So I went on this date, I went on several dates with this boy and he was pursuing me and he would do anything for me and he was precious and I could not stand it. I could not stand him and I don't know, I didn't have the guts to say, I'm not into you. So I kept going, which was stupid, but we had a date. And he took me to, he was going to take me to see the movie run, with Deli Pardon and Sebastian Solom.

And I really don't think you're a born man. But even what? No, I cannot recall this movie. Okay. Yes, it was a long time ago. Okay. So he took me to a Mexican restaurant and I'm from the country. I'm from foreign and people.

I don't think I had had a lot of, I was not exposed to a lot of different kinds of foods and things because I had gone to the University of Tennessee, which is a big SEC school. I came from a town of 500 people outside of Nashville, Tennessee that farms. So I go to this big Mexican restaurant. I never ordered. I ordered a chimichanga, a big fried chimichanga. I didn't even know what it was. I got a picture of sangria as I was not a drinker. I didn't care anything about alcohol, but he bored me so much and I was so sick of him that I drank that picture of Sangri as with a fried chimichang.

This is no alcohol roulette. This is what we're hearing. I can hear your stomach from the past. Oh, and I've already, I mean, I think I, I, what's it diagnosed them, but I think I had a little on being asked anyway. So we get to the run stone movie in the theater. And I had never had that feeling like when you get drunk

and you're gonna vomit, you know, and I, and the theater started spinning. I put my feet on the floor. I thought, what is this? What is happening to me? And I think he was trying to make out of me and kiss me in the movie theater. And I was just so not attracted to him. And he was beautiful.

And he was darling. And he just made my skin crawl. So I am watching Dolly Poet and Sebastian Sloan. The only thing you'll need to know about that movie, because I don't remember a thing except that little Sebastian Sloan is a tiny little man. and he had on a little polyester jumpsuit, one jumpsuit and his little doons. And not do it. Is that what you call it? Doons and in the south women can have children call men's private parts,

doons. And so he's, doons. Okay. Look, really funky in that poly-instra jump set. I just remember, and you know, Dolly, a big fan of Dolly, she's, you know, from Eastern say, you know, all of a doll. Every time you say Dolly, you grab your breasts. Yes, you are. Yes, the room was spinning.

It was horrifying. I thought, am I about to vomit? He takes me back to my dorm room. I was supposed to go to summer school that summer. And I just moved in my dorm room. And I think I finally said, leave me alone. Don't look at me.

Get out of here. Because he was trying to take care of me, I'm sure I was stumbling in. I threw up all night to get to the other end of the hallway. There was one of those, you know, what a communal bathroom on the other end, and I thought I was going to die. And I look back on it now, and I think I had an alcohol poisoning. But anyway, I threw up in like little crumbs in the, you know, a fairy tale, you know, getting to the witches' house.

And it was horrible. And I was on the batham floor, comb floor, trying to survive, holding onto a toilet, vomiting and... Was he there for any of this? Do we think you, did you even remember it? Why don't you, like, were you black out, or were you somehow still kind of sober through it all? I think he was outside the door knocking, so I was conscious.

I was probably going in and out and he was in the door. I think he was saying, are you okay? And he was willing to take care of me. That's how precious he was. I think he called me after that. Oh, and he's very successful. Word has gotten word through the years that like he knows that I'm, you know, a professional comedian. It's Jeb Bezos. No, no, it is not, but it is funny. But a pilot, he's a pilot and I'm sure he's had precious children and he's got a precious wife.

They doesn't eat her emotions. You know, I'm sure I had that old Jimmy Chonga, but I ate the whole thing. Oh, probably a popcorn at Ronstone. Well, I know. I mean, I was just shoving it in to try to, but no, I don't think I think that they listen from all of this for y'all to learn from a 57-year-old grandmother is don't be passive aggressive. You need to say, you know what, you're a doll, but this is not working out for me. And it's not you, it's me.

And I don't want you to call me anymore. That's what I should have done. I should have done that instead of ruined it. Instead of powering through. Yeah, we've been talking on the podcast about getting a bad dates Bell, which is just arming this generation with a Bell of when they're calling it, just tapping out.

As just listen, it's nothing personal. This isn't happening for me because it's been unfucking believable how many people, especially women on this podcast, have gone through with the date they didn't want to be on, and even had sex with them, which I think is extraordinary, and fuck them to be able to end the night.

It's a thing. It's a thing. We have to fucking barf our way out of this. We have to start. We have to stop. We have to tagline, fuck land. Well, I was going to say, I think that's where Leslie's suggestion of like Zoom is really smart.

Cause like a Zoom, it's like you don't have to drive, you don't have to pay for parking, you don't have to make a reservation, you can do it from the comfort of your home, you don't even have to put pants on. See if you have chemistry, do a FaceTime, and then be like, that was like my biggest takeaway from the pandemic, cause like FaceTime dates for first time,

then you don't have to like invest as much. And then I don't know I don't know why people say romance is dead. No, I'm trying to be efficient. You know, we're trying to take lessons here, right? Fish and sea synergy. You can tell if you vibe with the person, you know, like pretty quickly and then it's low pressure. You can just be like, oh my Wi-Fi connection's bad. Bye. We'll be right back. Bad dates.

I'm Rob Briden and welcome to my podcast, Briden and we are now in our third series. Among those still to come is some Michael Palin, the comedy duo Egg and Robbie Williams. The list goes on, so do sit back and enjoy. Brighten and on Amazon Music, Wondery Plus or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Francesca, my queen of efficiency. Will you now tell me your story? It's called Three Levels of Crinch. Oh my gosh. Okay, so Justice at the scene, I had gone on one date with this woman that I met on hinge,

and our first date was great. Uh, funny. She was really attractive. She was really smart. We were just like connecting on so many great things. And then our second date, we met up at a bar, and she brought a box of relationship cards, which was the first level of cringe. These are little cards that have questions on them a box of relationship cards, which was the first level of cringe.

These are little cards that have questions on them that are supposed to be like prompts, but they were very intense and not something that you would do with someone that you just met. It was very, very hot. Oh my God, they were so bad. They were like, what's my sexiest body part?

And I'm like, I don't, I've never seen you naked before. I don't know. Or like, what's my sexiest body part? And I'm like, I don't, I've never seen you naked before, I don't know, or like, I don't know. One of the questions was, how can I be healing to you? It was just, it was so strange. And she was acting very like, oh my God, I can't believe these questions are so weird. But like, ma'am, you brought the cards and they were not on open.

Like, she had clearly, we were like trying to go through the cards that- This is a fringest move. We were trying to find cards that were less cringy and like, ones were like looking to my eyes and like tell me ways that like, I could heal you or it was just, it was very strange. So we got through the day and we don't text the next day.

It was obvious that it was awkward. And so I decide that I'm not going to be passive aggressive. I'm going to just very politely say, I just don't think this was a match, whatever. But I did it backwards where I normally like look people up before I go and date with them. So I was like kind of just doing a little research on her. And I found that she was following me on Instagram,

which was the second level of cringe, because then I realized like, oh, wait, how do you not realize that? No, I just didn't, I just took it, like we met, I liked her, she was cool, and like, she hadn't let on that she knew who you were at all. No, nothing.

And then like, once I realized she was following me on Instagram, it was like the first date was seen in a whole different light. Like all the things we were connecting on, I was realizing like, oh, like, you know, I'm talking about and redecoring my apartment. And she's like, oh my god, I love decor. And we're like, and I'm like, you saw all these videos on my Instagram of me, like, painting my apartment. And like, is she like, is she saying that she loves the same type of decor that's in the videos and you're thinking like oh my god we have everything

in common. Oh yeah and like I ran into you and I ran into someone on our first date who I had worked with on a project before and then after I introduced her the girl I was in a date with was like oh you guys work together what do you do and I'm like oh yeah I'm like in a date with was like, oh, you guys work together, what do you do? And I'm like, oh yeah, I'm like in TV blah, blah, blah. Like, no, mama, you know this, because you follow me on Instagram. So that's like the second level cringe. So I send her a message, and I send her a voice note

because I'm trying to, you know, breaking up with someone is hard, right? And I like to do a voice note because then you can hear my voice, things get lost in translation. So I send her a note and I say, like it was really nice meeting you. Like I think you're wonderful. I'm just not sure we're like really a fit.

But you know, I'd love to stay friendly. And she's like, oh my God, like I would love for us to get on the phone. Like is there a chance for us to like, you know, figure this out? And I'm like, I've gone on two dates with this person. I've known you've for less than a season of television. You're being so courteous already.

I'm trying so hard to just like be nice. And she's like, I really, she's like, I know I came on strong, but I would love for us to just like talk through this. I'm like, okay, so we like get on the phone and she's like, what happened? And I said, well, look, I gotta be honest with you. Like the card thing was like a little aggressive.

And then I saw that you were following me on Instagram and like, it's not a big deal, but it does feel kind of like deceptive in hindsight that we were connecting all these things and like, you were following me on Instagram. This, this bitch says to me, she's like, I didn't even realize I was following you on Instagram, and I'm from LA, and I've been around famous people

a lot, and you're not even a big deal, and I'm not even big. Oh, so I'm not even like, oh, we love her. I love her. I was like, you're from LA, you've been, I was like, I don't think I'm famous. What do you follow me, mama? Like, I don't know you, you are a stranger.

But she's like, with that stranger, you follow me, mama, like I don't know you, you are a stranger. Which is like that straight-air, nothing special. But you know what I mean, I have this supermarket when a man is clearly coming on to you and then you're like, I'm so sorry, I'm actually married or I've got something like, yeah, I wasn't even asking you out. Yeah, you're ugly. You're not even my type. Oh my god, you're disgusting. What a ding dong.

And then she unfollowed me. So there you go. Well, yeah. So, wait, so has that now made you paranoid? Now do you check in the fonts? Oh, I'm so paranoid. I, well, I mean, I got off the dating apps because I did find that like, I just had,

I had had a few times where my account had gotten flagged as a catfish and I had to prove that I was myself. They make you take a picture with a newspaper, like a proof of like, oh my god, like a hostage. It's a proof. Yeah, you can verify yourself on hinge like it's Instagram. They miss you.

And then these random bros have these little blue check marks. Yeah, I was just like, Tyler. Yeah, it's gonna make that. Yeah, and that really creeped me out. And then, and it is a weird thing where, because I was married, and I missed all of online dating, and I wasn't in, you know, quote unquote, entertainment, the public eye.

Like, I've never been in a situation where I dated someone and they thought, like, oh, you might be familiar with my work or have watched me on TV or something like that. And now it's kind of like in the back of my head of like, am I really connecting with this person because they genuinely want to get to know me or have they done homework on me?

And the things I think we have in common are them like projecting what they think I want to see, which is very weird. Yeah, it's also the imbalance. If you can't also then have an opportunity to find insight into them. Yes. It's the one way street of that. It's like they already know that they like you and I'm starting from a place of I

know nothing about you. Yeah, and I think, I think, listen, it's not the end of the world if someone says, oh, you know what, I actually happen to follow you on Instagram. I've seen a few of your things. It's the disingenuousness of, look how magical this is that we're so compatible. It's so manipulative. It's the only person.

If she had led with that, if she had led with that, I would have been like, oh, cool, whatever, fine. But it was the deceptiveness. And then her getting defensive about it, because if she had, she could have very smoothly been like, oh yeah, I just didn't want to make it awkward. I didn't bring it up, you know, you know, big or whatever, but clearly she felt away.

I have a friend in LA who is an actor and he's been well known for a really long time and he was dating this girl and she was in a lay significantly younger, but maybe like a good solid 15 years or something. And they were dating, it was going really, really well. And she just seemed so into him and so like unfazed by any of the parties he would take her to and all the events and like all the people he would interest to. And she just seemed like so keen to learn about his life and they would 80 for like six months before one day they ran into a childhood friend of hers who was like, oh my god you two are together she had your picture on her bedroom wall her whole teen years

oh and I mean the fucking relationship just had to end because that is, that's just game. That means someone's been lying to you for six months and you're there. You're there. You're there for the trial. It's hurt, crush. Yeah, it completely contextualizes everything. But he was crushed.

He was traumatized by that because it's like, that's your, that's your, you're projecting everything as a teenager onto whoever's on your wool. And so then it becomes the cable guy. Yeah, it's like you're not, you don't know if you're actually, if the person that you think that you like is the real version of them, or like this fake version, it's very, very strange.

I've never anticipated being in this situation, but I've since gotten off the apps, and my hope is the next person that I meet is like organically through friends or, you know. Out one of your 900 social events. Yes, exactly. Just organically through friends, or like someone saying like,

oh, I wanna set you up with someone. Like I'm hoping that that will weed out some of the weirdos. Leslie Leanne, hintaken. We're on the hunt. We're going to find Francesca someone in the wild. Find someone. Yeah. But this is why I get why like famous people date other famous people. You just start on like a similar.

What's you can talk each other online? Yeah. And it's healthy. There's healthy, actual stalking. We'll be right back. Yeah, and it's healthy. There's healthy, actual stocking. We'll be right back. What a life these celebrities lead. Imagine walking the red carpet, the cameras in your face, the design clothes, the worst dress list, big house, the world constantly peering in, the bursting bank account, the people trying to get the grubby mitts on it.

What's he all about? I'm just saying, being really, really famous. It's not always easy. I'm Emily Lloyd-Saini, and I'm Anna Liang-Grofi, and we're the hosts of Terribly Famous from Wondery, the podcast which tells the stories of our favorite celebrities from their perspective. Each season, we show you what it's really like being famous by taking you inside the

life of a British icon. We walk you through their glittering highs and eyebrow raising lows and ask, is fame and fortune really worth it? Follow terribly famous now wherever you get your podcasts or listen early and add free on Wondery Plus on Apple Podcasts or the Wondery app. and add free on Wondery Plus on Apple Podcasts or the Wondery app. Hello, I'm Hannah. And I'm Suryuti. And we are the hosts of a Red Handed,

a weekly true crime podcast. Every week on Red Handed, we get stuck into the most talked about cases. But we also dig into those you might not have heard of, like the Nephiles Royal Massacre and the Nithory Child Sacrifices. Whatever the case, we want to know what pushes people to the extremes of human behaviour. Find, download and binge-read-handed wherever you listen to your podcasts. And we're back.

Okay, so let's leave. You have two stories, but the title is, Pier at 9. Can you tell me both? I can tell both. The first one is shorter, and you guys might have thoughts on this. I went on like a second or third date with this guy and I also am alarmed by people who are too emotionally invested too early on. Like there's a healthy pace of how we kind of get become into each other. He was so into me that he was 39, he was about to turn 40 and he would say

stuff like, I don't even want to celebrate my 40s with my friends. I think you and I should just do something and like, I love the way you communicate. It really makes me feel safe. How long had you known him? We were like one date in. This was one date in. And it's the trap of like, I want that in general, but there's a pace.

Yes, there's a pace for this, you know? Like with Francesca, those cards that you did on the first date is like, that's like three years extra. That's an estranged married couple who's like, let's fix this. We need to do activities. We need to do games to rekindle our time. Reaching. They've had intergality and they're trying to work through it.

Yes. This is mutual affairs. We're a strength like that's not first date banter. Like look into my eyes and heal me. Galady and they're trying to work through it. Yes, this is mutual affairs are where it's straightened. Like that's not first date banter. Like look into my eyes and heal me. Yeah, so this guy, and I was at a fragile point in my life where I was kind of digging it. It was kind of like, I was kind of alarmed

but kind of like wow, maybe this is cool for me. So we go on like, I think it was our second or third date. And I was, I don't like to tell my friends about new guys, because they're nothing. They're nothing. They mean nothing to anyone. They're just guys. Until they mean something to me, then we'll chat about this person, but I don't want to breathe life into this man until he means something to me.

But because he was so into me, I would tell all my friends, dude, I think I'm going to like marry this. Like he's really like putting in all this work and effort and I was like giddy about it. So we go on a dinner date, it's cute. We walk around, we get ice cream. We are planned to go see a movie. It's a super cute, like, you know, large mon and then go to the east side to those feelings, like super cute like you know, Larchmon and then go to the east side to Los Files like super cute LA day.

We're walking down the street eating ice cream and talking and he farts and it's what kind of what kind of pop? It was audible. It was audible. But is it like is it or is it like a big one? It was distinct. It was like an earthquake.

Like I was sure of it. I was like, it wasn't, you know when it's an earthquake and you're like, that wasn't a truck, that was, yeah, that was an earthquake. There was no debate. There was no debate. It was a fart. It was a fart.

You know those, those, those don't slip out. Those are a conscious choice. That's why I wanted to know. No, no, no, no. I'm going to, I don't know this man and I'm not want to keep it for a man, but it could have just happened. So I'm going to just have a course. And look, let's use this podcast to normalize Farts.

No, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. But how did he, what if he do? This is where I'm nervous. What happened is what I did. Oh, no. I did. Oh no, so what I did. I was already taking your side.

I just assumed it was him the fuck down. So I chose to make fun of it. And as comics, we tend to just call out things. You address a moment that happened that I was a bit. Everything's a bit. I chose every, my life is a bit, the dates a bit, whatever. And I was like, something like nice or we were having ice cream.

So I decided to do a tiny roast and he did not care for that. He went... It was juggle and hide. He... His face fell. He was embarrassed. He was livid that I made fun of him. He tensed up.

He didn't even address it. He was just like... He was trying to hold in another fart. He knew he I made fun of him. He tensed up. He didn't even address it. He was just like, He was trying to hold in another fart. He knew he had another one in him. It was like he was holding in like an emotional fart. Like he was just like angry that I chose to. He had a thought in his hot. And like I said, he was so into me before that.

And after the fart, he did not touch me for the rest of the night. He was cold, he was distant, we went to the movie and he just didn't even, you know, was like, it was juggle and hide, he was livid. And I never... That is some of the fresh... That is some of the freshest shit I've ever heard. Like, no pun intended, obviously, sorry. But for him to fart and then go off you and you are unbelievable. That is rare, I can still be surprised on the podcast. That's really new.

And also, why date a comedian? If you can't even laugh at the most childish thing on earth. That's a bonding moment. That's almost a meet cute. You know what I mean? That's the sort of scenario that tests whether, especially because it shows like a level of comfort that like, yes, he can be himself around you.

Like, and you know, when you're dating someone, if you're around someone long enough, a fart's gonna happen. Like it doesn't, of course. It's gonna happen. It's always not been in my relationship almost nine years. You guys are foreigners.

My asshole remains the, both of our assholes remain the bemuda triangle. Like, we know that they exist, but no one's ever seen one. My asshole's like big foot, you know, it's just it feels like more of a rumor. You know what I mean? They have to be honest. We'll keep it a rumor. Like some people have claimed to see it, but

I'm so sorry. I'm mad that this guy see it, but. Yeah, I'm so long. That's not that this guy took it so personally, like whether you said nice or wasn't the dairy, like I would think that that would make a safe space to just like because banter. That's a funny moment. I truly wasn't angry. I felt like an innocent mistake. I don't think he was doing it intentionally to treat me like a bro because I've had other guys fart in front of me

to try to be funny. I'm like, I'm not your frat bro. Yeah, now I've had someone on this podcast who I went on a sort of fart day with. On the podcast. I farted in my handbag on our date. You know? So, yeah.

Even while we'd be walking, he'd stop and just grab my handbag and fart into it, and then we'd keep walking. No. And that's why I was never sure if it was a day or not. I don't know. But I, yeah, I also think like the kind of thing you can do is just address it, make it a fine thing, not talking about it.

It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. Yeah. During sex is the only time it's appropriate to just pretend like it never happened. Right. And lastly, I bet it was the dairy. Of course it was.

Salt and straw. Of course it was. Guys can be generally funny, but he was the kind of guy who he wanted to hear what my jokes were because he was curious. So I voiced and I mowed him one of my jokes and he immediately gave me back notes. No. Oh my God. No, and he immediately gave me back notes. No. Oh my God. No, no, no, no.

To be honest, when he, on the first date, wanted to spend his 40th alone with you, that man was going to wear your skin as his skin. Yeah. Like that. I'm glad he's gone. Yeah. So that was God's protection over you, Liz. The fart, the fart was a sight from God.

Yes. He had sent directly from Jesus. Yes. It was a sight from God. Yes, you had to have sent directly from Jesus. Yes. It was a... That's... But like... Okay. I dodged it. I'm better off.

But there is a separate story that I'll try to condense. The peer at nine story. No, please, tell me. This technically never turned into a date because all of the four play leading up to the date was so horrific that I canceled the date. So it never happened. But I was, I've been on dating apps since I was three years old. I don't know. I've been around. I've been on all the dates. I don't know. I've been on all of them. I've met a thousand guys on these stupid things. So I met this man at Whole Foods, the classic thing that people say, this never. So I let it happen. I was psyched.

It was a real life meet cute. And I should have, you know, hindsight, should have looked back. But he approached me when I was like in the sushi section at Whole Foods. And I think he made some comment about me being Asian. No. I should really focus on details more.

I should not. Anyways. I'm like red. Black. And I was like, who is this? Like, just so. So, um, and he's objectively attractive. And I remember my girlfriends seeing him hit on me and they were filming me on Snapchat being like, less is getting hit on that whole foods by this hot Italian man or something.

And he was objectively cute. And another second red flag that should have seen is he refused to give me his number, but he gave me his email. He said, I don't like to give up my number right away. Let's start with email. And if we get close enough, I'll, we'll graduate to cell phone numbers. Lucky you. You approached me.

Like he came up to you. What is he did? He did. I don't like to give up my number to the people I racially profile what they're trying to deliver. Yeah, I can't go on. I ignored this red flag and I was like, oh, he respects his boundaries. I should have just ran. I should have ran. Okay. And we proceeded to email back and forth to set a date. And I looked back at the email chains. And this was an LA. to set a date. And I looked back at the email chains.

And this was in LA. We agreed to meet at the Santa Monica pier on a Friday night at 9 p.m. Cute. And you know, like all, as adults, we like to confirm an event before it happens. Like, are we still on for brunch tomorrow? Like it's a normal thing.

You check in, we're all busy. Let's make sure it's happening. And then you move on. This guy, I went through the email chains. He confirmed that we were going to meet at the period 9, continued to confirm it 10 times. He was like, just, just, just want to make sure we're meeting at the period 9. So on Friday at 9 when you meet me, like, we're going to meet at the period 9. And here's where we should meet it by the lobster, that restaurant on the pier. We got to, and I, again, it's like, there's a healthy pace to everything, way too much confirming with this guy.

The day of the date, it's a Friday, so I'm at my day job. What's the time gap between the emails? Like how frequently is he sending emails and are you responding to each one just being like? Yeah. They were daily, they were probably daily, and I responded timely. I'm an efficient communicator. I like to reply.

I like to reply. So after the Whole Foods meeting, it was maybe a week of emailing of Chitchat or back and forth. And I want to send, can I send this in the chat one of his emails? So in the middle, in the middle of him confirming several times we're meeting at the period nine, he sends this.

And it says, before we meet, I would ask any girl this that I'm about to date, but I'm clean and I have no diseases. You're clean too, right? Right. Like, oh my God, the levels of presumptuousness. We haven't even done the date and he, he won't give me his cell phone. Oh my god.

And I was at this point still going to meet him on the date. But wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, can I read this out? I say yes. Go for it. He says, okay, great. See you tomorrow, 9 p.m. And I forgot to ask, I would ask any girl this that I'm about to spend time with just in case something happens.

I'm clean and I have no deceases or sickness. You're clean too, right? You have no herpes or diseases, right? Don't be offended by that question. It's better for me to be safe than sorry, just in case we kiss or something. Wow. Wow. Wow.

What a Romeo. My goodness. So he's asked you out. Made you feel immediately crazy by saying, I don't trust you to have my number rather than, hey, you're a woman alone in a supermarket. I'm a man you don't know. You don't have to give me your number. And you've reached 100 ways he could.

He's profiled her. He was like, half of your Asian. And now he's checking if you are, and I quote, referring to someone having an STD, checking if you're dirty or not. My good gods, so you saw that and were like, yeah, what exactly? Tell me exactly what you responded to that.

I have to defend, like I was 20 something, right? I'm 36 now. My entire 20s, I didn't know what the hell was happening. Would you send him a document of your clean bill of health? I replied and I was like, look, I respect you asking, but it's a little presumptuous to assume you even have to worry, I'm not getting dirty with you on this date.

Like we're not even gonna, yes. I basically said in a kind cute funny way, you don't have to worry about that because we're not doing that. We're gonna talk. So we approach the day of the date. It's Friday, the day of countdown to the Pirate 9. I'm at my office job and I'm getting frantic phone calls

on my cell phone from an unknown number. I start getting voice mails and it's from this Pirate 9 man. I can tell he's already at the Pir. And it's not 9 p.m. He's the afternoon and he's already at the pier and it's not 9pm. He's the afternoon and he's there. And he's like, hey, I just grabbed someone else's cell phone. They let me borrow it.

He out here on the pier. Just want to confirm you're coming 9pm. Just want to make sure we're all set for a date. I'll be waiting by the lobster. Let me know when you're on the way. You know, you can email me, but I'm not on my computer. Just, you know, just check it. So I get multiple voice mails the day of.

And I finally, it took that, you know, we hit a lot of road bumps, the Asian thing, the cell phone thing, the STG thing, but for whatever reason, this was, this was the thing that I was like, this is sketchy. I emailed him or called him back in the number to somehow tell him, hey bud, let's call it off. I was like, we're not a match. I, I'm gonna go ahead and skip this date. I think we're on different pages, like let's not,

let's not. And I tried to let him down before the date because trust my instinct, this was not gonna be a good experience for me. I don't know what was gonna happen. So he proceeds to cuss me out and say, all you bitches are the same. I can't trust any you fucking sluts. And at this point, we don't even know

if he means women or agents because of his personal. You know, I'm sure it's both. Oh my God. He said, was he saying bitches and sluts? 100%. So I called back the last number that called me and a woman answers, not here at nine guy, a woman answers. And she's like, hello, I'm like, hey, I'm so sorry. Is there a fucking weirdo chasing you following your phone? Because this is potentially the love of my life and I need to speak with him. So she goes, yeah, he's right here. He seems really frantic. And she's like, yeah, he's holding a knife and I'm like, but she like hands him the phone and then that's how I told him. And I was like, hey, glad I caught you.

And I chose to not be passive aggressive. I was honest. I was like, look, I feel like we're a little bit on different pages communication wise. I think we're looking for something different. Like, you seem to not trust that I was gonna meet you. I was. Now I'm not.

And I tried to make it really clear. And I was young for being very direct. So I was like proud of myself. Then he proceeds to cuss me out. And additionally, voice mails that I had remember texting to my friends, being like, this is the guy you thought was so cute that I should go on a date with.

And then peer at nine became a joke between peer at nine between my friends became code for a red flag person. Don't do it, it's peer at nine. Oh wow. Don't go to the peer at nine. Yeah. Don't go to the peer at nine.

I'm now renaming the story, fear at nine. That's what fear at nine. I'm never gonna look as an automatic appear ever again. I really think about him every time I drive by the Santa Monica peer and how I saved my own life. You did it. Terrifying. So terrifying. Well, thank you for that story and thank you for following your instincts and thank you for that much needed message because especially when we

young we're trained like oh no, you're just being socially anxious or you just have anxiety or you're being lazy when we have that kind of feeling, I don't want to go. It means wrong here. We don't listen to that voice. Listen to the fucking voice. Listen to it. Listen to it. Listen to it. This is your reminder from the universe. And also share your location with your friends. Sorry, but we have to. But 100%. I'm also very suspicious of any date that starts at 9 p.m. I think that's just because I'm old. Well, then it is a good point. Is that late?

Is that late? Is 9 not late? No, it's late. 9pm. 9pm. I am, well, I mean, yeah, I've said that before that on this podcast when I joined Tinder, I made everyone meet me. You're like a 7pm.

I'm a 7 shop. I'll take a 645. I will take that. I love in early days too. Yeah. But I, yeah, when I was on Tinder, I, for like 11 days, I organized 11 dates every single day at 11am. I don't have like an OCD with number 11, it was just coincidental. But I organized it for 11am to stand outside a police station and drink coffee together.

So I didn't, I managed to not get a late, it's obviously during any of that time, and I'm sure I am 11 people's very bad date, but I didn't trust anyone. I was like, I've seen CSI. You know, I know, I know about LA. You have to take them down and ask that thing. I think that's like, that's your next like a series.

11 at 11. 11, 11. Yeah. Oh, man. I mean, you really do thought the week from the Jeff by doing that, but yeah, highly wouldn't recommend. Thank you so much, Francesca Leslie and Leanne. Your stories have been so entertaining and I will take them with me forever. And Pier 9 will now become everyone's code for the Pier 9.

Don't go to the Pier 9 will now become everyone's code. Don't go to the Pier at 9. Yes, don't go to the Pier at 9. No. So before we go, will you just quickly tell everyone where we can find you? Franchesca. No, okay, sure, I'll go first. You could find me across social media at Chesca Lee, CHESALEIGH.

And I have a new podcast called Lemmy Fix It. It's pop culture nostalgia. And me and my best friend trying to fix some of our favorite brand celebrities of yesterday and make them better for today. Oh, amazing, I did. Oh, my God. Leanne.

Ed Lee and Morgan Comedy. Leanne Morgan.com. I'm on tour right now across the United States. Amazing, amazing! And Leslie, where can we find you? I'm across all the usual platform on Hinge and Bumble as it's my name but with ours so it's Resri Rial. Everywhere. And everyone's allowed to find to say. It's fine to see. Someone gave you that nickname in college and I kind of loved it. So resri-reel everywhere,

Venmo, Instagram, TikTok, whatever. Amazing. You can also find Leslie in Whole Foods if you're looking at the sushi section. No, don't do that. Lieber alone, yeah. Thank you so much. Everyone go and find these hilarious humans and I'm so glad I got a chance to properly meet all of you amazing. You beauty. Bad dates is produced by smartness media and Wondery, created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Demi the Jamil.

That's me, produced by Stuart Bailey, produced and deniered and edited by Devon Tori Bryant, also engineered and edited by Karl McGraw. Talent producer is Anne Harris, associate producer is Maddie McCann, music by Kushy and Evan Schletter. Executive producers are Will Arnet, Jason Bateman and Sean Hayes. Executive producers for Smartness Media are Richard Coulson and Bernie Kaminsky. If you've had a bad date and you'd like to tell us all about it, our number is 984-265-3283 and our email is baddatespod at gmail.com.

We can't wait to hear all about it. That's all for this week. We will see you next can listen to bad dates early and add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. Deep in the enchanted forest, from the whimsical world of Disney Frozen, something is wrong. Aaron Dell is in danger once again from dark forces threatening to disrupt the peace and

tranquility. And it's up to Anna and Elsa to stop the villains before it's too late. For the last ten years, Frozen has mesmerized millions around the world. Now Wondery presents Disney Frozen, Forces of Nature podcast, which extends the storytelling of the beloved animated series as an audio-first original story, complete with new characters and a standalone adventure set after the events of Frozen 2. Reunite with the whole crew, Anna, Elsa, Olaf, and Kristoff for an action-packed adventure of fun, imagination, and mystery. Follow along as the gang enlist the help of old friends and new as they venture deep into the forest and discover the mysterious copper machines behind the chaos.

And count yourself amongst the allies as they investigate the strange happenings in the enchanted forest. The only question is, are Anna and Elsa able to save their peaceful kingdom? Listen early and add free to the entire season of Disney Frozen Forces of Nature Podcast, along with exclusive bonus content on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, or Wondery Plus Kids on Apple Podcasts.

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