Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - I Have Outsourced The Villain (w/ Mohaned Elshieky, Blaine Anderson, and Conrad Ricamora-Jensen)

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

On an all-new episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians Mohaned Elshieky, Blaine Anderson, and Conrad Ricamora-Jensen to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Mohaned is on a date with his future wife, if he can survive the gauntlet of the Bronx Zoo, Blaine’s date only implied he owned a restaurant and now they’re at a second location, and Conrad tries riding in cars with boys but winds up as third wheel. Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips. Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Mohaned Elshieky: @mohaned.elsheiky on Insta, new special coming soon!Blaine Anderson: @datingbyblaine on social media, Help Me I’m Single podcast!Conrad Ricamora-Jensen: Currently shooting The Devil Wears Prada 2! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Oh, hello, and welcome back to another episode of the bad dates. I'm your host, Joel Kim Booster, and if you were joining us for the very first time, let me tell you about this podcast really quick. It's about, get this, bad dates. It's right there in the title. It's a synopsis and a title, all in one. I invite some of my funniest friends new and old to come and tell stories from their real-life dating traumas. Okay?

We have all been in the trenches. And when I say bad dates here on this pod, you all know it, you all love it. We mean dates, first, second, third, relationships, marriages, even, hookups, situationships. We cover it all here on this podcast because, you know what? if I didn't have the ability to talk about hookups underneath that umbrella what would I be doing

hosting this podcast whatsoever I'm very excited about our panel today we've got a real good mix of people with us today very very excited joining me today is a comedian who has appeared on Comedy Central Conan

and the late show is Stephen Colbert Mohanad al-Shakey so nice to be meeting you and chatting with you today next up very excited about this next guest most of the guests we have on this podcast speaking completely out of their assholes, maybe from personal experience, you know, just

the road traveled and the lessons they've learned from it. But this person, oh my gosh, she's a dating coach and matchmaker. She is the CEO of Dating by Blaine and the host of the podcast, Help Me, I'm Single. It's Blaine Anderson. Hello, Blaine. Hello, thanks for having me. Welcome. Welcome.

I cannot wait to pick your brain and hear your takes on all of these bad date stories and hear one from you, too. It's so exciting to hear a bad date story from a matchmaker. I rarely talk about my dating life or my personal life, so I'm excited to start to. Now the camera is turned on to you, Blaine. And finally, last but certainly not least, oh my goodness, I am so excited. It's Family Day here at Bad Dates as we welcome an actor from shows like How to Get Away with Murder and the resident. And he also appeared in a little film called Fire Island.

My first on-screen love, it is Conrad Rickamora. Now, wait, actually, Conrad, what is your full name now? My full name is Conrad Rickamora dash Jensen. Conrad Rickamora Jensen. Now, I was just doing my wedding invitations, and that's the first I saw of it. And I think it's so cute. It is so fun. There are no rules with gay marriage, which is really exciting.

I love that. I think he's taking Kim Booster because he likes it better than his own last name. What's his last name again? Setsina. Bleep that. I'm just kidding. It's all public info. It's all public info.

But no, it is fun. I mean, you know, the drum that I beat about gay marriages is that gay marriage is a lot like deep dish pizza in that it's really good. It's so nice in its own right, but it's not pizza. Okay. It's something different in time. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

No, no. You could say deep dish is separate but equal to regular pizza, but it will never be pizza. Just kidding. Just kidding. just kidding very happy to be getting gay married very happy that you are happily gay married i've known a couple of them conrad and and let me tell you peter's a winner yes peter is a winner i appreciate that oh my gosh and one of the credits not listed in your bio that i i would be remiss if i didn't mention is he is an original cast member of the celebrated legendary iconic oh mary off broadway

on broadway um so huge i got to see you a couple times doing that and you were amazing and that a comedic, a true in his, died in the wool comedic actor now. When he came to me, when he came to me, he'd never made a joke in his life. He never made a single person laugh. And now look at it. And now I've just, I'm just, stomping the boards. Well, and I hate, like, I'm wearing this because I have to keep my hair really long right now. Oh, like, look how freaking long that is.

Because I'm still, I'm shooting Devil Wars Proda 2 right now. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh. And they made me. Rolls upon iconic roles. Congratulations on that. Very excited to have all three of you here with me today. Now, some of us might not know each other as well. So we always like to start off with a little bit of an icebreaker. And now our ice breakers here, Blaine, I'm a little self-conscious even saying this. But we have a panel of relationship experts that we have conscripted to come up with questions that you should ask not only yourself, but sometimes your date on the first date, second date, to establish some basic. parameters of compatibility. And today's icebreaker question is more of a question for yourself, but what's something too personal to reveal before your first hookup?

Bad dates. I'll start with Mohanid. What is something that either you could say, or your date, more importantly, could say that it's a little too personal that might put the brakes on a potential hookup. I also think how much debt you're in. Oh, that's a good one. That is a good one. Because I feel like when you have debt, it's always on your mind. And you're like, should I bring that up? Does this person know how much weight I'm carrying on my shoulders right now? Yeah. You know, I was guilty of that for a long time because I could not wait to tell people in most throughout my 20s that I was paying more in student loan payments than I was in rent every month.

And that I thought was just like, it really set the scene for what you were getting with. me a low credit score and a lot of not a lot of cash um you know i think people were really shocked especially when i told them what i got a degree in which is theater and now i wouldn't recommend putting yourself in down payment on a house level debt to get a theater degree from a small liberal arts school i certainly wouldn't say that today but i will in my defense this was back in the early aughts when before we were having the conversations we're having now about predatory student loans. Like, I got private loans, y'all. And that is nuts. That is nothing to do. And we, and now I feel like most people know better not to dip their toes in that water. But yeah,

it was rough. But yeah, Conrad, what do you think is a little too personal to get into early on in a dating relationship, a hookup relationship, et cetera? Well, this is, it reminds me of our first table read a little bit for Fire Island where I showed up. And I'm a, I am getting better at this as the years go on, but I'm a classic overshare. And I showed up to that table read. And I was like, I just, I just broke up with my boyfriend of three and a half years. Nice to meet you all. Like, it literally just ended like a few days ago. And so I think like, uh, relationship stuff, uh, before your first or on your first date, maybe over. Maybe that can wait. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Blaine, again, I turn to you. How, like, if you're just coming out of a relationship,

and you're on a first date with someone. And maybe that informs what you're looking for, how serious you want to get. Do you let people in on that pretty early on? Yeah, I think it's absolutely appropriate to mention it. What you want to avoid is obviously droning on about it, bringing it up multiple times, because that's just going to signal that you aren't over it.

Or like in the first 10 minutes of conversation when you immediately sit down at a table read, maybe. Very, very, very, very. I'm a recovering. I'm going to tell this story in Conrad, we can cut it if you don't want it out there. But with the first day of shooting when we were in makeup together, after you were talking, you had just broken up with this guy. And he was a little bit younger than you.

And one of the things, the straw that broke the camel's back, I should say, is that you were watching the Mary J. Blyche documentary. And he came home and looked at the TV and said, who is that? And that was like the big sort of tipping point of when you realized. he was the age gap was actually the cultural age gap was just too wide okay okay that's a lot of stuff that happened up to that yes obviously that's why i say the straw that broke the case this was not the only reason you broke up with this man but then i had just started dating i had just started dating my current fiance who is also six years younger than me and i was like well he's younger but of course

he'll know who marry j obliges that would be insane to not know who marry jillijs so i text him and i go you know who married j obliges right and he hits me back with oh you mean that actress from the umbrella academy. And I was like, not you knowing Mary J. Blyge primarily as an actress first. That is crazy. That is how I knew I was dating someone a little bit. I feel so tired. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty tough. And now Blaine Anderson, we go to the expert on the panel. What is something that is a little too personal to reveal before your first hookup or on your first date? Yeah. So I would say the extent of your internet stalking. They probably assume that you've Googled them, you've found their Instagram, but you don't want to admit that you've searched their address on Zillow and you're impressed by their vestiment.

Skip that. Yes, yes. I had a guy one time I was telling a story about my best friend from high school, and he was like, Sarah, right? And I was like, I didn't mention her name. And he was like, oh, no, no, no, I saw her a bunch on your social media. And I was like, I don't love that. You know, like... Bad dates.

I turn now to Mahana and Al-Sheki. Give me a little context for where you're at today, relationship-wise. I am married now. Woo-woo, congrats. Yes. I have been married since February, so it has not been long. Newly wedding. Yeah. That's amazing.

And how long have you been together? We have been together since 2020. 23, November 20. So it's not long. You know, it hasn't been two years. What made you pull the trigger? So relatively soon. I don't, I mean, you're saying two years is not a long time.

Just wait until we get to Conrad, okay? And then you won't feel so bad, Mahon. I think I'm only saying that because before that, I was in a six-year relationship that ended. And that did not end in engagement or any of that. So for me, that was quick. care. But I don't know. You kind of know when it's the one you're like, okay, this is, this makes so much sense. I psychotically told my friend on the second day of meeting my current fiance

that I was going to marry this man. And they were all like, you're being crazy. You're being a psycho. Certainly don't tell him that, which I didn't. But like, I knew. You know, you just know. I do think there is a component of all of this that is gut checking. I agree. Now, where in your history does your story take place? This takes place only like a year ago and it's a date with my current wife and I'm sorry, I said current. She will be my wife for the foreseeable future.

I love that. We rarely get bad date stories from someone who is still in the relationship. You know, and I'll say this. So I texted her when I was like, oh, okay, I have to come up with a bad date story. And then she was like, oh, I have one. And I was like, okay, I don't like that you came up with it.

Immediately. She was like, oh, I have your right one. When she told you, did you also recall it immediately as a bad date? I was like, I could not believe. I was like, I blocked this painful memory from my brain. And I'm glad you brought it back. And I'm going to use that. Finally, it is something usable for something.

Oh, thank God. Yeah. Brilliant, brilliant. Okay, so set the scene, we're about a year ago now. Yeah. So a little bit of a context. my wife is 29 years old. She has a little sister who's nine years old.

Oh, wow. Yeah, her dad got remarried and then he had a kid nine years ago. And everyone assumes that child is ours. Yeah, that's fair. You see her? And it makes so much sense. It makes sense if I had a child at that time, it would be nine years old. That child could not be my child because it's so mean to me.

The kid is so mean. She says things to me that hurt so much and I Can you give us an example of something hurtful? In the story, she is involved in the story, so I'll definitely give you an example within the story. Are we calling her sister-in-law? Are we calling her niece? That is the thing.

I'm like, I'm like, my wife is like, oh, yeah, she's your sister-in-law. I'm like, I don't, I'm not going to use that. I'm like, she is not of age. She cannot even drink. She can't vote. She's not involved in any law. And we took her last year to the Bronx Zoo and we were like, okay, let's take her out, you know.

And it was kind of basically like a date and also her little sister was there. We've been dating for like a while now. So I was like, okay, yeah, let's involve your little sister. And you got to get in. You do have to have some sort of pleasant relationship. Exactly. I would like to meet her. I would like to hang out.

And then like just like a few minutes in, she immediately started nests. about, like, her glasses, not being... She was like, I forgot my glasses. And I was like, okay, what can we do about that? And then she was like, I forgot my... And I was like, what do you want me to do? And then she held my hand, and then she would, like, describe to me what's happening in the cage.

I was like, that is... Like, we're not Helen Keller. What are you doing? That is amazing. That's such a huge flex, actually. First of all the way to... Get all the way to the Bronx and not realize you've forgotten your glasses. Yes.

What a journey that must have been. Mr. Maguing it to the Bronx Zoo. And also like we're looking at the, we're looking at the tiger cage. Have you seen a tiger before? Imagine that. Like imagine it's walking around. This was the first date? No, this is this is the first date with the, with the child involved.

Yeah, I've never, like, I have not really hung out with her before we met her like that. And then, and then she's just like, kept going like that. She's just after the kids, you know, like it was so hot. And I'll add to that that my eye at the time, it was just so swollen. I have no idea why. It was just like, I was just having a bad day. It's a hot day. There's a child involved. I cannot barely see from like my left eye. And I'm struggling. And I'm trying to keep it together. Has that ever happened to you before or since? No. That is so bizarre. I know. And I was like, I cannot believe this is happening to me right now. And then sometime during the day, this kid looks at me, and then she said, you're

mid. I was like, what did you just say? What? I was like, I'm just going to hit a child right now. It's so scary. And that is, that's your sister. That's your sister. Yeah. And I was like, why would you say that? Why would you say that? And there's nothing you could do. You're going to tell a child, like, no, say I'm hot. I want you to say that I'm hot right now. Now, Was she just, do you know exactly what she was referring to? Was she saying your visuals were mid? Your personality was mid or was it sort of the, the whole package. It was mid.

I think my wife asked her. She was like, so how do you like him? And she was like, he's mid. And I was like, I don't know. I don't like that you know that word. I don't like how you used it. Everything about it. And then I was like, what is, what are you?

I was like, what is not mid to you? Like, and then she was like, and she showed me. It was like, it was a picture of an animated K-pop star. And I was like, I am neither, I can never be any of those things. I was like, I'm not, I'm not, it cannot be Korean, I cannot be animated. We talk about the impossible beauty standards for women, but the impossible beauty standards for men, the pressure we feel to be animated K-pop stars, it's unbelievable coming from the nine-year-old set. And I was like, okay, this is, this is good.

I'm, I'm never going to tell you what a tiger looks. like what it's doing. So let's see. Let's see how you feel about that. Get water from the well on your own. Sounds like she was testing you. She was definitely testing something. And if we asked her today, would she still say your mid or do you think you've improved in her eyes? No, she thinks because now she knows my personality. So I think my personality maybe have enhanced. And maybe every now and then I have given her money. So that's, oh, that's huge. So I'm like, I'm like into bribe right now i'm trying to like do anything i can and then after that we we were like okay i can't wait to get home uh i want to take a shower we went to my uh wife's apartment at the time

and she was like oh i i don't i can't find the keys let's go to my dad's place let's go to my dad's place and get the uh the keys from there and i was like is your dad there and then she was like no he's not i was like cool okay let's just go and do it we go to her place uh to her dad's place her dad is there i've never met that man before He insists that I stay for dinner. Again, very sweaty. I just absolutely ruined. My ego has been hit by a nine-year-old kid.

And that man is seeing me, and he's like, my daughter has told me so much about this guy, and I can see none of that right now. I don't know what she sees into him. I mean, it's so funny, you have one daughter who sees so much, and one daughter who sees absolutely nothing. Exactly.

And a boyfriend who sees... through one eye one one eye yeah yeah you guys make quite the set you you really do we definitely did and if you think a child is comfortable at a zoo imagine them at their own home oh where they are in their you know territory that kid was just like flying around me on a scooter just going around and then she brought me all of her toys and then she insisted i do a stand-up comedy set for the toys i know the She was like, do your thing. Do your thing. And I really tried.

That is like people who say, well, tell me a joke. Obviously, so classically annoying to hear as a comedian that it almost doesn't happen anymore. But not only did she, she heightened. She said, don't just tell me a joke. Tell my friends a joke. She got me an audience. Tell an audience. Tell an audience that is, is it, will never laugh.

We'll never give you what you want. No, she gave commentary during my set. I tried to do some jokes for her and the toys. Then she asked me, she said, I, she truly the most hurtful thing. She was like, you should get a real job. Maybe you should get an Uber, like you start doing an Uber or something. And I was like, I don't like that. I don't like any of that.

I don't like, I don't like what's happening right now. Did you tell her you truly did not care. Yeah. She did not care about any of that. The only thing I stopped them from doing is my, her dad wanted to see. like a set of mine like on cone and he wanted to play it on the screen and i was like i have had enough to do so much has happened to me i cannot watch a six-year-old pakistani man not appreciate my comedy i have been hurt enough by this family yeah um and the whole time is your girlfriend

at the time girlfriend now wife is she you know pulling you aside is she is she noticing this behavior Is she noticing how terrible an experience this is for you? She was noticing their behavior. And I can tell that she was noticing because she was filming it on her phone. She took so many pictures from that day. She filmed everything on her phone. And it looked as bad as I thought it was. Literally my eyes was, I was just looking so miserable.

She should put this up on World Star. I think there'd be a big hit. Let's roll the tape. I think it was a bad date for me. It was the best date maybe for her. She just had so much fun. And I actually think, I mean, obviously we're joking a little bit about that. But to see your partner under that amount of pressure and to get sort of a field test.

Because, I mean, normally all of those experiences happen over the course of many months separately. But you got it all in one fell swoop. And you lasted. You made it work. So, especially because you've only, you got married after two years, it's like, no shit. She saw you, she saw what, you know, happens when you're under that amount of pressure. So, I wonder if she has done that before. And she's like, no man has survived the Bronx Zoo test.

Oh, no, I forgot my key again. Be sure to call him the worst name, you know. It's kind of genius. It's kind of genius. It is 100%. So, Mohan, did you learn anything from this experience? that you took on with you into the marriage. I truly, like, now I'm trying,

like I used to try really hard to impress her little sister. Like, because I really wanted that kid to like me. And now I understand that this is the biggest mistake to do with just, like, kids in general. Like, or like, you can't just be like, oh, I want you to think I'm cool. There's nothing you could do, really. You just have to live with it.

They think nothing that you do is cool. They think you're just nothing to that. It's just so awkward. You're not a streamer. You're not someone they see. on TikTok. Stand-up comedy kid does not appeal to kiss.

They do not think it's cool. And it's so refreshing to have a nine-year-old girl be the villain of his story. I have outsourced the villain. Bad dates. Blaine Anderson. Now, Blaine, we know you're a matchmaker.

We know you're a love expert. But where are you at relationship-wise? yourself. I am also married. So I've been married for three years now and also have a six-month-old daughter. Oh, love, love, love. Now, were you a matchmaker before you were married? No. So, well, no, match. I met my husband in 2019. I started dating by Blaine in 2020. Okay. So what a time to start a dating matchmaking service. Yeah, well, that's actually, so the matchmaking came a little bit later, but the dating service was a product of the pandemic because people were like, okay, how the hell do we date now? So I started making courses and some free guides about how

you could still date, how you could still fall in love despite the lockdowns. And I know a lot of people who did. So I'm sure you have a lot of success stories yourself. What would you say is the biggest thing that your guy friends would come to you with? Like the biggest you would say, I would say like dating issue that a lot of single straight men seem to be facing that you would. we're trying to alleviate. Yeah, well, I would say from my friends, like, back in the day, it was more like, hey, I'm not getting matches online. Like, why can you fix my profile, which is pretty simple?

But I would say what I see the most from, like, clients now is I'm not going on dates or I'm not getting second dates with the women I'm most interested in, like, what gives, what's going on. Yeah. And is there a common issue that leads to that, that you would say? Yeah. Yeah. There's a few, particularly with the type of guy I work with. One of his issues is oftentimes he's not building chemistry. He's not building a sexual or emotional connection with women he goes on dates with. He's building maybe intellectual connections, but not having the, like, he often will hear, you're really nice, but he's not that he's like doing something crazy wrong. It's that women just aren't viewing him as a romantic partner. And there's little. things that can be done on first, second, and third dates to, in particular with like straight

men going on dates with women, that is going to allow women to see you more as boyfriend material. Give us one example of one of those things that you can do. Yeah, so initiating appropriate physical touch. If you go on a date and you never touch the woman and you're sitting with your hands in your lap the entire time, she's unlikely to feel that sexual chemistry or that desire from you. Yeah, totally. And the thing is, as I do feel like so many guys love to complain about how they don't know how to act around women anymore and they don't know what's okay. But it's like, it's so easy if you are an intuitive person to read the chemistry, read the fucking room and know that it's okay to put your hand on a woman's arm

if you're having a conversation with her, you know? Like, I'll like say that on Instagram and people are like, oh, straight to jail. And I'm like, no, I didn't say like, no one's doing that. No one's not the way you're doing it. Yeah. The way you're putting your arm. It's like you're telling on yourself if you think that, you know, like, what kind of physical touch are you initiating? Because it's like no one got in trouble. No one lost their jobs. No one like was cast out of society for lightly touching the small of someone's back, you know, who was on a date. You were on a date with.

That was going well. Yeah. It's so ridiculous. It's a romantic relationship with you. Exactly. If that's the situation, then yeah, I think it's like they can't look at the context sometimes. But enough about your job and your profession and your expertise. Let's get to Blaine. You are married.

You've been with this man for a little while, but where in your timeline does this story take place? Mine took place in my early 20s at a time where now, if this happened, I'd be like, what the fuck? And at the time, I'm like, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de, just, like, letting it go on. So, yeah, I was studying abroad in Argentina, Buenos Aires. And so it's, like, a party vibe.

I don't know if you study abroad, but typically, like, when you study abroad, you're just, like, drinking internationally. And was this pre-cell phone for you, too? On the cusp. So I had a cell phone, but it was 2011. So, like, people had phones, like, especially abroad. We weren't, it wasn't, like, and there's actually a place. It was a new SIM card.

It was like, yeah, it wasn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So not easy. Yeah. So I'm out and I meet this guy. He's, like, a little bit older. He wasn't studying abroad, but he was American. And we had the club.

club like dancing whatever we hit it off he's like oh i'd like love to like take you out sometime i'm like okay cool i'm into it what's your phone number he's like oh i don't have um a phone which again is like a little bit of a red flag in 2011 especially as like a 27 or 28 year old am i you know he's like this person lived in argentina yeah okay he was a living down he he implied that he um owned a restaurant that was like the vibe i got it was like oh he opened a restaurant down here and i was like okay cool kind of like weird you don't have a phone, but okay, I'm going to make Skype. I also love implied that he owned a restaurant, too.

That's a really funny way of putting it. Somehow, like, I came to the conclusion he owned a restaurant. Yeah, yeah. And I think he was like, when I think maybe when we were like, then like I aming on Skype, he was like, oh, come to my restaurant. I get off work at 8 and then, you know, you can see this place and like we can get drink. So I'm like, I'm like going out with like this restaurateur, like, yes, very sophisticated of me.

I know. So go and meet him at his restaurant, and it becomes, like, very apparent. He's, like, at best, a matri-D. Like, he's just, like, maybe works the door at this restaurant. Yeah, yeah. And so I'm, like, a little, like, disappointed by that. It's, like, a restaurant, like, like, social house kind of thing. There's, like, different rooms, like, with bars, like, different bars throughout.

A so-ho house, almost. Yeah, like, yeah, but, like, four steps down. And, like, yeah, in Argentina. know and um like want to be so house perhaps like not fit not that fancy and so he's like oh like let me show you around and he's like toting me around like introducing me to like every single person who works there where i'm like okay this is like weird i thought we were like meeting for a drink and now you're like toting me around introducing me to people as if like we know each other like you are a stranger sir yeah take your stranger to work day yeah that's yeah and so and then he's like oh

like I actually, um, I'm supposed to meet a friend, but, uh, I don't have, I don't have a phone. So like, can we just swing by his house and like, grab him? Like, what? Okay. So at this point, like, I really should have been like, okay, I'm out of here. You're now like trying to like take me to a second location. That's like red flag number one. The, the straight. The alarm. The, yeah, the straight woman alarm system hadn't fully developed yet. Um, no, no. Uh, to such a degree. Okay. Like, why not? So we walk. to his friend's house.

So, and again, like, again, because he doesn't have his phone, doesn't have a phone. So we get there, we're, like, buzzing up. We get buzzed in. So now I'm, like, going into a stranger's apartment, which, again, like, telling this story, I'm like, oh, my God, like, what was I thinking? Well, and when I studied abroad, and I'm sure it was the same for you, this was also pre-Google maps being on the smartphone. And so it's like, the fact that I navigated London, Europe in general, without maps on my phone.

I'm so confused how we got around. You dropped me two miles from my home in L.A. I don't know that I could get back on foot, you know? It's crazy. So, yeah, remarkable that you managed to get to the second location at all. Yeah, especially with this guy's, without his phone. So we get there, we go in to, like, pick up his friend or whatever I think we're doing there. And it becomes apparent fairly quickly, although, like, not quickly enough for me to, like, immediately leave.

Is that this is, like, not his friend. and this is his drug dealer. Uh-huh. And we were actually just there to buy cocaine. Oh, wow. Argentinian cocaine. Let's be specific here. Yes.

The good stuff. And so, yeah, we're like hanging out with these people. And I'm like, oh, these are drug dealers. I'm in a strange drug dealer's house in Argentina with this man who I now feel like cannot be trusted and definitely doesn't own a restaurant. Right. And it's like so crazy to not only bring your first date to where you work at a sort of, it, it, it definitely gives them an indication of your income bracket a little bit if show by leaving them

there and then to show them how you're using your money um it's not going into a savings account it's going into the savings account in your nose um and that is um a pretty brazen thing to do i would say um on a first day so you're you're sitting there you're watching um the the cocaine be purchased. And what's going through your mind? I wish I could say my what was going through my mind was like, oh, I should like definitely leave. But apparently I was like a long for the ride. So I'm like, okay, like let's see where this goes. Let's see what happens next. Ah, to be in your 20s again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're now. I would be like, okay, bye, I'm leaving. But I was like,

I can't just like walk out of here. So I guess I'll just politely wait for this to wrap on. So that wraps up. And then we leave again. And we go, I don't know, remember we went back to like the place where he like was maybe employed or we like went to a different bar um and continued the date which is like the craziest that i didn't like leave at this point um and i think we got drinks and then he was like he was excused himself to use the bathroom and i can only presume like do said cocaine yeah yeah yeah i think we can assume that and then he came back, he's like, should be like, go make out in the bathroom? And I was like, no. And he's like, oh, I keep forgetting you're like younger than me and like so naive. So too naive to as though

you don't know how the world works. He's trying to paint a picture of this world that says, go excusing yourself to the bathroom to make out with your first date is actually quite normal. And you're the weird one. You're the naive one for not being on board for that. Like talk about gas lighting. And so I think at this point, was like, okay, well, like, the date has come to, like, a natural end. And, like, I, like, went home and it was like, okay, like, weird first date. But I really don't think it was to, like, years later where I'm like, that was absolutely bizarre. And the fact that I just, like, sat through multiple hours with this, like, deranged co-ed is, like, red flag.

Was he pretty hot at least? Was that a part of this equation? It must have been, right? If I was, like, sticking around for that long, like, I didn't stick around long enough for, like, a second date. So, like, obviously, I, like, and I, during the date, I was for sure, like, oh, I'm never, like, going to see this person again. But it wasn't, like, apparently bizarre enough for me to, like, hold a plug immediately. Bad dates. So, Conrad Rick and Moore Jensen, hyphen Jensen, we established at the top, you are sort of newly-ish married, I would say. It's been a year or so?

Two years. Two years. Okay, wow. two-year anniversary on June 9th. Amazing. Give the listeners a little bit of a cursory overview of your dating style. Is it fair to say you are a serial monogamous? I've dabbled in serial monogamy heavily.

And then there were times, there were phases where I was just like a proud ho for a while. But yeah, I was always, I feel like I was always like looking for the one. Set the scene for us today. where in your history is this tale taking place? Yeah, so this was back in my early 20s in Charlotte, North Carolina. I just graduated undergrad. I was freshly out of the closet. I had basically zero dating experience, like one and a half hookups to my name.

And North Carolina, the place to really dip your toe in that pond, I can fully imagine. Now Charlotte is a big city. And it does have like a really a good gay community there. Shout out to the gay community in Charlotte where I first started hooking up. But it was new. Everything was new. They should build a statue for you next time you go. Conrad O'More hooked up here.

That's right. But yeah, I was new to literally like everything felt like an adventure at that point in my life. Um, and so I met this guy. I don't even remember at this point because 22 was a long time ago now, uh, but, yeah, uh, it was a bar or like, but this was pre-apps, pre-social media. Um, and we decided to go out. We, he cooked, no, we went out to dinner and, uh, it was great. Um, he invited me back to his place to watch a movie.

Uh, the movie was riding in cars with boys. Because he wanted to ride on something most with a boy, I think. Maybe. Maybe it was a subliminal hint. He invited you over for the movie. Now, this is before Netflix and Chill, the terminology. But was the vibe always that, like, the movie was a front? Or did you, were you inexperienced enough to assume that this was just going to be a movie?

I was inexperienced enough, but I was hoping that it was going to be something. like a sexual. And then he puts on riding in cars with boys, the ultimate aphrodisiac. That's right. With Drew Barrymore getting all the gays in the mood for love. And yeah, we were just sitting on the couch. Everything was going fine. And his cat jumps up on his chest. And I swear to God on my life, the cat starts making out with him. Like open mouth, tongue on like licking his lips like not kissing him like on the cheek not like licking his hand like on the lips like making out and had he established that he had a cat that he loved a cat that like all of these things I grew this wasn't a complete shot no I'm

yeah but I had clear boundaries with cats yeah yeah I it's it's so yeah that is very tough yeah there was no going back after that so I just I just froze I just, like, was sitting there thinking, okay, so apparently, like, I am the third wheel to this cat. Oh, my God. Me. And then all the whole time. Yeah, the whole time. And he, like, thought it was cute.

He, like, smiled at him, like, as if to say, like, isn't this adorable? Isn't this sweet? Yeah. In my head. People who are too into their pets always have that delusion that it appears much more charming to the rest of us. Well, there is, I think there's socially acceptable, charming. affectionate behavior with your animals, kissing, letting them lick your lips.

Like, when, like, open mouth, like, it was really shocking. There are people, there are people, and I refuse to look up if they're even right or not. I can't imagine they are, but there's a certain kind of dog person that loves, is addicted to telling you, do you know the mouth is the cleanest part of the dog? Oh, they love to say it. They love to share that information. And I'm like, I don't. First of all, believe you.

And secondly, I don't care. There's a lot of healthy shit I don't do, okay? Yeah. Also, isn't a cat tongue is so, like, is so harsh, too? Yeah. But how were his lips, were they just, like, fucked up from that? Just all the kissing, all the French kissing with the cat? Just a hard shell.

Well, I didn't stick around. I did not stick around to find out what that experience was like. And poor you, you're new to the gay scene. And you have no context. So you must have thought, well, this is what gay guys are right. This is gay. This is what gay is. This is what gay is.

It is just making it. I mean, this is what Republicans think we're doing when we're home alone is making out of animals. Yeah, I know. Maybe we should. Maybe we should not tell this story because they're going to be like, see. See, this is right. They're going to want to marry their pets next. Oh, my God.

But yeah, no. how did so did you leave pretty abruptly did you did you leave it a way that like indicated to this man it is because of the bestiality it's not me it's the beastiality yeah i pretty much just like froze and then kind of you know i used my body language for the rest of because i finished the movie out you finished the film yeah because well i wasn't of course right now joel if if this happen, I'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, in the middle of this happening. I was 22.

I respect that. You rode with the boys till the very end. That's right. I rode in this car. That magnetic. Not only with the boys, but with the felines as well. But, yeah, so as the credits start, as soon as the credits popped up, I was like, this was so, because, I mean, of course, I'm like an Asian people pleaser.

I'd get up and I'm like, this was so great. Thank you. So as I'm putting my shoes on, like, exactly. like this was great yeah for so how hot was he would you let's just be crass and put a number to it oh uh i like grading on the curve of where you were in your life and and yeah i mean metaphorically and physically well and again this was me not even knowing how to be like gay so i didn't i didn't have the glow up go through the glow up that all like new gay had gone through yet. I was probably still wearing cargo shorts at the time.

Cargos are kind of a gay uniform. They're back in a big way. Well, yeah, I can't keep up. So I would say like, I would say like a solid six. Okay. So then my question for you is, is there a number that would have kept you in that man's apart? No. No. No. No. The thrill is gone as, as the old song says. Small scene in Charlotte, though. Did you run into this person a lot after the date? I think maybe one or two times from across the bar. And it was just, yeah, but it was, again, this was also pre-social media.

So it was so much easier to, like, ghost people. Yeah, people would just disappear into the mist back then. And you didn't have to, like, see them on your, any scroll at all. Yeah. Oh, what a time. Let's go back for that. Let's go back. I hope the power grade goes down tomorrow.

We lose everything. Yeah, let's get rotary phones back and the whole thing. Yeah. People will show up then. Bad dates. I'm really proud of all of our guests today because there's just so much more self-respect on this episode than normal because I would say on a lot of our guests would have fucked the cat guy, would have fucked the Cokehead, would have fucked. I'm not the father-in-law. You know, like, they would have done...

Good save. Not this climate. No, no, no, no. That's not how I'm going down. This has been both hilarious, terrifying, and enlightening from all three of you. I have to say, this is a renal bang-up job that you all did. Today, Mahanah El-Shiki, where can the people find you?

And what are you doing these days? They can find me on Instagram, on that a lot, unfortunately, it's at mohamet.Ljaki. I also am touring, so I all have a tour schedule up there. I have a special coming out in September that people can find. Congrats, congrats. So, yeah, check that out. I'll be posting about that on my social media, but yeah.

Just from my personal recommendation, check out Mohan's Conan set. It is very, very funny, and it does make me miss that show and the kind of comics and comedy that he would showcase, because you were, it's a really, really excellent late-night set, I have to say. So check that out and then check him out on tour. Conrad Rickamora hyphen Jensen, what are you doing these days? Where can the people find you? Tell us a little bit about it.

I'm currently shooting Devil Wars Parada 2 that comes out on May 1st. And I have an indie film with Alicia Vakander coming out this fall. If you know, you know. Yeah, that's coming out this fall. It's called The Last Day. She brought it up to me when we were on set. She was like, wait a minute. You, my, she was like, my gay friends told me that you are in this movie that you guys talk about me.

Yeah. And I was like, oh, we should do. We did. But hey, at least you were the character who understood and knew. So anyways, Blaine Anderson, what are you doing? these days and where can the people find you? Yeah, find me on social media dating by Blaine or dating by Blaine.com, B-L-A-I-N-E. I have a fun podcast, help me, I'm single, and I also do matchmaking. So right now I'm only doing matchmaking for straight men, looking to meet women.

But if you're a single woman listening, hit me up and I would love to have you in my database and keep you in mind for the amazing, amazing clients I match for. An amazing place for you to find clients, I think, because there is a lot of confusion out there. They come to me for answers and boy, do I not have them. So, um, go and seek out Blaine if you are looking to get serious about your love life. And if you're looking to get silly with your love life, um, email us at baddatespod at gmail.com. If you got a bad dating story of your own, a piece of, uh, a query or a piece of advice you need answered. Um, we are always listening. In the meantime, uh, if you liked what you heard today, go and give us a rating

five stars. Please, it helps people find the podcast. And you had so much. fun don't you want that for strangers all across the internet as well i will be back next week with more terrible no good tales of bad dates i'm your host jolkin booster goodbye bad dates is a production of smartless media created by robert cohen executive producers are robert cohen and steward bailey produced edited and engineered by devon troy brian produced by anne harris edited by kyle mcgrath associate producer is mattie mccann social media producer is tommy galgana executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Music by Kushi and

Evan Schleller. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at Bad Datespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3-283. That's 984-265-3-283. That's all for this week. We will be back for more. Bad gates!