Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Munch Munching and Crunch Crunching (w/ Oscar Montoya, Zach Noe Towers, and Mano Agapion)

Episode Date: August 11, 2025

On a brand new, in-studio episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians (and family) Oscar Montoya, Zach Noe Towers, and Mano Agapion, to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Oscar thinks he’s got a great deal but the drugs aren’t the only things mixed up, Zach attempts a threesome with the textbook threesome couple (the hottest man you have ever seen in your life and his troll doll boyfriend), and Mano encounters a slightly more outré threesome couple with a strong fraternal bond. Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips. Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Oscar Montoya: @ozzymo on Insta, Drag Her podcast with Mano AgapionMano Agapion: @manoagapion on Insta, Drag Her podcast with Oscar MontoyaZach Noe Towers: @zachnoetowers on Insta, Good Morning Sodomites podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

So many queer people. If you were straight in any way, it was odd. It was very, very strange in our school. I love that. I know. Give us a country. Give queer people a country. I'll move there.

An island. I don't know. Greece certainly can't be using all those islands. No. They can't be using all those islands. There's 777. Exactly. That's crazy. It was too many.

They won't even notice one is gone. Yeah. I mean, we're kind of doing that with Mika Nose. Bad Dates. Bad Dates. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of Bad Dates, the podcast. I am your host, Joel Kim Booster, back. back back again. It's been a little bit of time for me. It may not have seemed like there was

a break for you, but trust me, I have not been behind this microphone in many, many moons. And if you're watching at home, you might notice something different. We are in studio for the first time ever. Get ready for some incredible video content. I am not mad at all that I had to think about what pants I was wearing to record this podcast, which has not been the case in the past. Very excited to be back. If you're just joining us for the first time today, bad dates, it's very simple. The concept, it's right there in the name. I bring on some of my funniest friends. They recount stories of bad dates, bad hookups, bad marriages, bad relationships. It runs the gamut. A date is not just a date. It could be really anything you wanted to be on this

podcast because we've run out of guests. So with that in mind, I want to introduce you to our esteemed panel of guests today. Joining me is a comedian and actor from The Minks and Enkanto. I've known him since my days in Brooklyn, baby. Give it up for Oscar Montoya. Hello. Thank you so much for being here, babe.

Next, we have a writer and comedian from Hacks, the Chicken Sisters and Punky Brewster. It's Mano Gapien. And together, I would like to say Manu and Oscar host the podcast, Drag Her. Yes. About Drag Race, which we inherited from you. You inherited it for me.

I cannot stop doing podcasts and then deserting them immediately. This is the longest podcast relationship I've ever had. And welcome back to the podcast, a comedian that we all know and love. He's a writer and actor who says you may have seen him on E Comedy Central, Netflix, or Grindr. Zach Noi Tower! Yes. I got to say it's the copy that I was given. It's so shady.

Who says you may have, like who says. Claims that he has these credits. Does anyone else get nervous when someone's approaching credits? Oh, yeah. Because I was like, what's on the paper? Yeah. It can be scary. Yeah. It's always scary. It is always like, it's so funny when they're,

they clearly, I have a website out there that I haven't updated since like 2014. Totally. And they will frequently go back and pull from that bio where it's JFL new faces. Yeah, not so much a new face anymore. Guys, so grateful to have you all here on our first episode back today, it's just family. It is just four gay guys shooting the shit. And I got to say

there will be people that are upset. You know, I've read the reviews. Some people think that this show has, since I took over, has skewed too queer. And to those people I say, listen and learn. You don't have to relate, but maybe learn something from this. I'll say breathe. Breathe and you'll be able to take it a little easier. Exactly. Our experiences are just like yours, it's just a little grosser, okay? Okay, we are gross. There's some straight people that are just nasty, but... It is true. It is true. They get up to some disgusting things.

I'm so glad I'm queer. And I found that out because of this podcast, quite frankly. Like, I've heard what straight women are dealing with in terms of their community of straight men right now. And it's bleak. It's real bleak. It's tough. The number of stories that begin from straight women on this podcast that involve a man shitting in or around her. Wait a say. Or not in her or around her of the vicinity. Like a protective pentagram around her? First date, we're talking.

Insane. First date, the number of stories that are to center around the story of a man wrecking a woman's toilet before they have even left to go to dinner. I mean, but we shit on each other too. No. Yeah. We do. There's implied consent.

I'm looking at you, Berlin. There's implied consent. Okay. There's implied consent. The whole city of? The whole city of Berlin be shitting on each other. Like, don't go to the well if you don't want some water. You know, these women are not going to the well.

I'll say that. This is all non-consensual. Before we get into your gross, disgusting stories, though, I do want to stop. And we have gathered together from relationship experts, 150 questions that you should be asking on a first date to better connect with that first date and get to know them on a deeper level. And so I want to know, from movies or TV, what animated character do you relate to? to the most Bad Dates Mine was literally

animated already That's insane I swear to God I love it I love it so much And on bonus question If you feel like

throwing it in Who is the first cartoon character You remember having a crush On it's a big one Aladdin obviously Aladdin a huge one With no nipples

I'm gonna say The character that I relate The animated character I relate to the most And have since childhood Is the chest of drawers and Beauty on the Beast. Because it's like, for me,

I see myself very much in the same lane as the Chester Drawers in that, you know, not a lot of screen time, but high impact. You know? I am not around a lot, but when I am around, you feel it. Yes.

And you remember it. And so I've always appreciated that about my house. Also, enacting change as well. Let's not forget where the villagers rush into the castle and Chester Drow shows up, it engulfs a man. He comes out.

in drag and loves it. Exactly. And that's what you do. And that is what I do. That's what we're doing together right now with this podcast. Yes, we are. So, um, great. Oscar, what is yours?

So the first thing that comes to mind, it's a blink and you'll miss moment in a cartoon called the Marvelous Miss Adventures of Flapjack. What? In which the titular flapjack who's like a little sailor child. Is it a cartoon network? And is it a pancake? Okay. It's not a pancake.

No, it's just a, but everybody in that world has sort of like a candy or pancake or sweet name to them. There's a child who's been sort of making fun of Flapjack, the entire episode sort of going taunting him and going like, ha ha ha ha ha. And finally the kid is just constantly laughing. And then Flapjack, just an affable child, goes up to this child dressed in like sailor clothing from like the 30s. And he's like, you need to grow up. And this child breaks the voice, the child voice. and speaks in a very mature man's voice and says, grow up, I'm 38 years old.

And then they have a renin, stumpy close-up of just like this child smiling. And it's like crow's feet, missing teeth, receding hairline. I am that character. That's so crazy. People approach you like you're a child. And then they get up close and realize what they're dealing with. You've got funny shirts. You must be 16.

I'm like, I can definitely see you in a 1930 sailor outfit, too. Period. Oh, my God. Period. I say that about you a lot. You would rock that. You would rock that. You do.

You do. I really do. This is actually in real. Mono, what's yours? Mine is SpongeBob Squirt Pants. Oh, that's good. Lots of holes. Lots of holes.

There is a genuine wet. This was supposed to be the wholesome segment. Yeah. The whole. I guess it is wholesome. But I love SpongeBob Square Pants. I genuinely relate to him. I, um, he's sweet.

He's goofy. And like, sometimes he puts himself last in a way that I relate to in one of the first episodes of SpongeBob Square Pants he goes to Sandy Cheeks his house and he is too embarrassed to say I need water to live Oh right

Yes so he And I've been this kind of person before Who is so peer pressured and so wanting Other people to like me That instead of saying I need water to live I will dehydrate And crumble apart and say water Would be nice

Which part of the country did you grow up in North Carolina Okay that track I think a little bit. I was going to guess like Midwestern because that's a very midwestern thing. I'm very much like that as well where it's like I will pee my pants

before I ask where the bathroom is. You know, like I don't want to interrupt the conversation. Yes. Have you had sex with someone to be polite? All the time. And I guess it said all the time. It would be like it would be rude if I didn't fall through. But I lie when I leave.

I have multiple times been like, I'm about to shit on you if I don't leave right now. Okay. Berlin? Barely. You listen? Berlin. I just look at him and go, Berlin.

But really, I have been like, instead of being like, I'm just not feeling the chemistry, I'm like, I have to go right now because I'm about to shit. For, there was a moment in time where I was telling guys, like, I'm way too fucked up right now. I don't think I can do this or, like, get harder, like, whatever. And then I realized it had happened so many times. And the last couple of times it happened on, like, a Sunday afternoon.

And I was like, well, this is going to become my reputation. It's going to be like, Joel can booster gets so fucked up on a Tuesday. on a Sunday afternoon, he can't have sex. So I stopped doing that. What I did do last summer is I got to the place, wasn't into him, but instead it was like, hey, are you into role play? And he was like, yeah. And he's like, what's the situation?

And I was like, what if I was like paid to be here, not into it, want to leave, but like, stay here and seal the deal and make sure you have a good time? And he was like, he was like, down. So we played that out. And again, like, not into it, dead face the whole time, you know. And listen, I got out of there without hurting anyone's feelings. Totally. Joel, that is wild. Yeah, so I'm SpongeBob.

Yeah. Yeah. Bad dates. Bad dates. Let's get into the stories today. I'm so excited to hear them. Oscar Montoya, you are up first. Now, before you begin your story, just set us up with a little bit of context.

Where are you at right now, romantically? Right now, romantically, I am seeing someone, and before this person, I did not date for 10 years. Whoa. I was sort of not seeing anybody, and that came from me sort of seeing, like, sort of hopscotching from one partner to the next. And one would say I'm a serial monogamette, like monogamous. monogamous relationship like one after another after another and then after a while i was like i've never had a time where it was just me by myself i'm so wrapped up in our identity that i never took time to figure out what my identity is so i was like i'm going to be single for as long as i can and then

um 10 years happened and i was like wait a second how does one even do this so yes but i'm i'm seeing someone and he's great it's been very nice how long has it been how long like like about a year now okay without being weird as your friend it's really lovely to see you in like a really nice relationship take us now to the date in question where in the timeline are we okay we're talking college college okay so this is pre-tenure break this is pre-tenure break well before the tenure break this is like like first relationship vibes this was, like, freshly out of high school. I'm in a college that's, like, I went to SUNY purchase for dance, so a very gay thing

in a very liberal arts college. Well, I've seen you move, so money well spent. Thank you. Yeah, the bitch moves. Thank you. And I was sort of, in that school, is, like, very sort of, like, the most hippie-dippy, sort of, like, and express yourself. Yeah, exactly.

And I also studied contemporary, which is like... Oh, my gosh. The most of that. And so I was sort of like figuring out where I belonged here. And I was excited about like the possibilities of what it would be like to go to a school like this and to be an artist, a free artist. So I met a guy who was the drug dealer of the campus. That's hot. I'm sorry.

Yes, for the entire campus. For the entire campus. That's power. No, far and wide as the person who got you, the shrooms. Okay. The hookup. Yes. And something about, he was just so absolutely confident in the way that I've never experienced before.

I'll get you every time. And, of course, it's so intoxicating. And, like, very sexually forward. Like, very flirty, very direct, very open. And for me, I was like, Oh, this is like what being gay is all about. Drugs. Just open drugs.

Sinful behavior. And suddenly, like, he came up to me and we started talking and I was like, oh, my gosh, he's so comfortable, so forward. Like, it's like we've met before and we started seeing each other for a little bit. It was like three months or something. And it was, like, really fun. He really taught me how to let go and have fun and be crazy. I'm sure you had a lot of assistance. Yeah.

Were you munch, munching and crunch, crunching? I wasn't munch, munching and crunch crunching. I was so... He was sniffing, yeah. Dead whipin. And, you know, after a while, I sort of, once it started getting routine, and normal, once we were, like, coming down together.

I realized like, wait a second, hmm, there's something in the way that he speaks to me that I'm like, he talks about like past experiences and I wasn't there for them. I don't know what he's referring to when he says, oh, remember this, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I don't remember. Okay, sure. Oh, no. Maybe, whatever. And then he said, like, oh, we were at this warehouse.

party in Scarsdale and I was like I was not there I don't you've never been to yes you were that's how we met and I said no met oh no come to find out he thought I was someone else the entire time for three months entire time for he met someone at this warehouse party in Scarsdale that he hit it off that was great that looked kind of like me did you you've seen a picture of this I have not seen a picture of this I have not seen a I have not seen a picture. And when he saw me on campus, he was like, that's a guy that I connected with so well at that warehouse party and just assumed that he's like, okay, we'll pick it back where we left off, right? And I was like, sure.

That's why he was so familiar. And that's why he felt so like, yes, exactly, like forward, confident because he thought he knew who I was. And for three months to be dating someone that you think you might be dating, like, is crazy to me. Well, that's drug addict behavior. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. His brain is Swiss cheese. You got to give him some crazy.

Absolutely. And I did give him a lot of grace. And, you know, it did feel very racially targeted. I'll say that. Sure. Yeah. And it's just a common theme that I'm, like, experiencing from that moment to now of just, like, people think that I am. someone else like

people think we're each other too all the time oh my God that didn't help people think we're the same person can you believe

it wow it's like looking in a mirror but yeah I think that sort of just like was the catalyst and can you come back from that? No, there was no way. And this says a lot about my self-esteem at the time. I tried.

I was like, sure. Hey, listen, we have history now. There is precedent. But he was checked out at that moment, you know, and I think he just felt so embarrassed after that, which if you're I'm shocked that he felt bad. Yes. You should still feel bad. I am. I'm shocked that he was like, oh, wow, I fucked up. Yeah. My brain is snakes and ladders. And then, and it sort of ended, you know. Did you do that thing of like, oh, no, you're okay, you're okay, this is fun. I did. I did. I got into the sort of consoling sort of like, you know what? It's my fault for looking similar to no one else. It happened. It happened.

Yeah. It happens. Bowen and I famously this happens to us all the time to this day, which is insane. How? That's wild. But we made a promise to each other a couple of new years ago where it was like, okay, this is going to happen. But I am no longer doing the labor to make this person feel okay about it. Like, I'm not going to make them feel worse. But I'm not going to take time out of my fucking evening to sit, sit there and pat you on the shoulder and be like, you're not racist, you're not racist, like sit with it. Think about it. Isn't that crazy that that is something that we do?

You've upgraded from SpongeBob. And that is the fact that that is our first instinct, right? Is fucked up. To be like, oh, I'm sorry you. It's actually my fault. I all the time. I'm like, no, I'm the same as Oscar. And listen, like, my thing is it's like, there are Asian people I look like, sure.

It's a medically, it's a scientifically recorded fact that people of different races find it very difficult to recognize other races. It's just, I struggle with white people sometimes too. It's fine. It happens. But Bowen is not one of those people that I look at. And that's where it's so egregious. And I think it's egregious with you too, too. It's just like one of those things where it's like, oh, you really aren't like scan.

You're scanning me and saying gay, Asian, comedian. Yep. And that's as far as you will think. And that is it. And it's, yeah, it's so bizarre. And not to be too dramatic, but it gets to be dehumanizing when it happens enough. Baby, it's that. It's like you chip away for so long and you're like, am I even a human being?

Yeah. You know? Tough. It's nuts. What do you think, Matteo? No one asks what Matteo. Mateo. Yeah.

What do you think, Mattel? What are you going to say, what this? It sucks because I can't, this hasn't happened to me a bunch. But I got into an elevator once and there were like these three amazing, like, hot black girls and they're like, Michael's here. I work with Michael and I was like, oh my, she thinks I'm someone else and I got so excited

because I was like, yes, like yes. Did you have to? Yeah, I was like, oh, I'm not Michael. Oh, okay. She's like, oh, oh, I thought you were going to lean into it and be like Michael's here. I would have loved that. I just loved it. Yeah, so it happens, it does happen to you. Yes, like, yeah, yes. You look,

you're a doppelgangerer is apparently Michael. Yeah, and Ellen DeGeneres. That's a big one. So, Oscar, what lesson did you learn at the end of this situation that you have brought with you into your current dating life? Being able to be seen as a completely fully realized human being and making sure that my partners also see that part of myself, you know? And it truly did set me up to have a tough skin to have been the subject of microaggressions for the rest of my career. year, you know? To me, I find it like hysterical when people confuse me for other people that for me, I'm like, okay, yes, this happened to me even in college when I was no one. Okay,

I'm ready for it. Yeah. So, yeah. And also, yeah, I don't need to say that that person was white. It was a white person and, you know, it typically happens for white people. Amazing. Well, Horatio Sands, everybody. Give it up for him and his story. That was really incredible. So good on SNL. What a beautiful. Bad dates.

Bad dates. Zagnoi Towers. Hi. Now, we can be a little quicker than we were with Oscar because I know the status of your love life right now. Yeah.

But why don't you share with the listeners. Oh, I'm, like, super single, but also, like, I love being single. Becoming a short-term relationship person was kind of revolutionary for me, because I don't think we, like, celebrate that a lot. So, like, I don't know. I just, like, have you had to find someone who really enhances my life, but I do hook up a lot. Yeah.

I find myself seeking, but not really find it. Right. Do you make, how's the long as you've made it. Is it three months or so? Actually, I've hit, like, a year. Okay. But it hasn't, the sex disappears really fast. I, like, lose sexual interest.

I totally understand. Quickly. Yeah, you just need to live a poly. But I also think, like, when you fall in love with someone, too, it changes. It's not, like, maybe not as, like, horny, you know, as it is in the beginning, but it becomes something different and better and special and passionate and spiritual connected. But, yeah, I mean, that's part of the reason why we're open is that, like, I love having sex with my partner. I love that version of sex. But sometimes I want to be a fucking whore, you know?

And it's like, that's a different kind of sex And it's a different kind of performance And it's harder to do that And have that kind of sex With the person who knows you better than anyone in the world That's real And maybe the person you had a tiff with like the night before You don't want them like doming the crap out of you and beg

Because you're like, no, I'm still mad at you That's the problem with us is that like when one of us tries to do something like that Like if he wants me to be like really dom It just I can't help it laugh Because he knows that's not me I know that's not him And so, yeah, and our solution was to go the non-monogamous route. There are, I'm sure, solutions for everybody out there who does not want to do that.

But I totally understand with you. It's the novelty. It's the newness. Like, that's what makes you horny. And, like, yeah. I also refuse to be in a relationship that sex is not at least one of the rooms in the house. No, absolutely. Yeah.

Well, and I also think something that we've done, too, is like, I think for a while we were very consumed with like, oh, it's got to be like penetrative, full on sex every night, like, or blah. blah, blah, blah. And that's just, that's just not something that is like a reality for most gay men. It takes a lot of work to be able to have that kind of sex. And so we're just like hooking up a lot now. Where it's like, you know, instead of like me excusing myself to the bathroom to go jerk off, I'm like, hey, do you want to help me? Like, you know, and it's like, it doesn't. And so we keep the intimacy in our relationship without having to like have the pressure of it being like a full on fuckfest every year. Yeah, yeah. Totally. You know, so pro tip to everybody listening. I think that is healthy, states.

Start masturbating together. It's great. Bring back the handjob. It's fine. I love making out and jerking off with a guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's still part of it. Yes. It's all part of it. Yeah. We define the terms. We define the terms. Speaking of defining the terms,

Zach Newe-Towers, bring us now to where in the timeline your story takes place. I'm sober now, but I was like a drunk drug guy like for a long time. Um, so this is, uh, Vegas when I was probably like, 23, I should say. A dangerous age to be in Vegas. Dangerous time. Um, your, thank God, fentanyl wasn't around then.

Oh, I was doing any Coke offered. Really? Oh my God. We didn't. We didn't know how good we had it. No. Okay. So, um, I, uh, this is a threesome story. And every three. Thank you for warning me. Every threesome I've ever been presented with has, has been the hottest man I've ever met in my entire life and his troll doll boyfriend. Oh my God.

That's true. Troll dolls are cute though. Cute. I'm half troll. I acknowledge. I say this. I'm right. Hot guy.

Troll. That is so funny. Sexy cute or else. Oh my gosh. Split the difference. You're the missing link. Yeah. You're the missing link.

Oh my Lord. Climbing out of the primordial oz. Okay. So this couple came up to me and it was like literally a runway model and his troll doll and there I was like kind of in it

for like romance a little bit like I needed to be like courted somewhat so they pitched going back to their apartment where there was a hot tub on the roof and they grab a bottle

of wine and we go to the hot tub so we go there I put my clothes wallet keys phone into their apartment go up to the hot tub despite it being like

4 a.m. in Vegas there were two straight guys in the hot tub talking about their feelings What the Which felt gayer Than what I was gonna do in the hot tub And I can't stop

I can't stop imagining A male model and a Laboooooo It was like Literally Literally That Okay I will say the male model

Was like kind of the heroin Sheek model So he had like that like lanky Like you know But he was stunning Right So Trol doll at this point is like You guys have

Slender Man You guys have your glass of wine In the hot tub I'll go down and get the apartment ready. Right. Great. So we're having the wine. Hot guy is the dumbest person I've ever talked to.

I love that. It actually goes hand in hand. Yeah. That's a package deal right there. Like, he'd been in an offender bender, and he kept saying he was worried the insurance company was going to find him reliable. Multiple times he said this. That's amazing.

I know. But at the time, I was like, I need to see your dick or I'm jumping off the roof. Right. He's also way drunker than I thought he was. Okay. He's out of nowhere. he turns to the straight couple, a straight couple, the two straight guys, and goes,

hey, you guys gay? And, like, just to paint a picture, these men, men, were wearing board shorts below their knee. That'll do it. Full calorie Budweiser. It was a Confederate flag short of a hate crime. So through gridded teeth, they're like, no man. And the dumb hot egos, you want to be?

And I was like, we got to go. Well, I have to say, though, like, Give it up to the elders in our community who shoot the shot because I, you know, he would not have asked that question if he hadn't asked that question in the past and someone had said, well, maybe. That's one of my favorite things about our gay elders is that they always shoot the shot. And it works a lot of times. Because oftentimes they have an intuitive sense that we don't have from cruising days, you know. This is not science. But I just think a lot of them really do have to learn how to like sense.

someone's vibe, you know, in a way that we have not. Do you all know about Red Uncle? What? What? It sounds already racist. It sounds like a knockoff Santa. What is Red Uncle? No, this sounds like someone talking about their Chinese uncle who's like trapped in Hong Kong right now.

There is a man who recently lost his wife, who was feeling very lonely. And so he puts on drag and solicits him. on the internet. Nice. And he has a video, like, channel called Red Uncle in which, like, these men show up, have sex with him and leave. But he dresses in drag, and it's, like, the funniest drag. And isn't it, like, what, didn't it start, like, behind a sheet or something like that?

Yes, it started behind the sheet. Like a story hole? Yes, yes, that vibe. But part of the thing is that he's asking for something in return. Like, he's like, I will have sex with you, but you have to give me something, anything. And so people bring in. like half half a

bottle of like the bartering system at play here. It's given that. Yes, absolutely. But like we need to see a picture of

Red Uncle in there's a picture of him in drag and it's just like caked foundation. He has a wig with a heavy bang but he doesn't paint

the bang, the forehead part and it's just so funny and he has like this sounds like a horror film just to let you know. It sounds like Donald Trump's paint job. Like area's missing foundation.

So you drag this man down from the hot tub back to his apartment. He's too drunk. He's like guiding us down to the apartment door and we get there but it's locked. And so I knock a knock nothing. Knock again, nothing. Again, 4 a.m. in Vegas. My keys, wallet, phone, clothes are inside. So I pound on the door and the light comes on, dead wilt flips open, door swings.

But it's not troll doll. Huh? Because dummy has taken us to the wrong floor. in the apartment complex. And I've been pounding on a stranger's door. Oh, my God. So this roided out man in his 50s curses us out. We go down to their apartment.

That door's unlocked. Troll doll is beside himself. He's crying. He's sobbing because he thinks we've gone to hook up without him. Oh, and it's opened all these relationship wounds. Oh, no. And they're like screaming at each other. And you're just there.

Boners deflating in real time. Oh, no. But again, I wasn't going to leave. The drugs had worn off at this point. I didn't know where my friends were. So I was staying in this apartment So I counsel them I get them to apologize

To get them to hug it out Not you being a mediator BetterHelp Where's my discount code Could you imagine me being on the other end BetterHelp I'm like you should break into his car He's giving better hole

So we get romance again We go into the bedroom And Hottie immediately passes out Leaving me with troll doll No And again He's put her in The toll, and you don't even get to cross the bridge.

And he's awesome. Come back to ask the troll. And I'm going to let him fuck me. And he does. And he's going hard. Oh, God. Like, you know when you're having sex with someone, you're like, this is about something else. Yes.

This is not about me. This is not a character in this. Right. I called him trolled all out loud at some point. There's anger in it. I hate that. But then, just like our good buddy, Jesus Christ, hoti is risen. friend of the pod.

He's up, like, in bed out of nowhere. Like, like, Nosferatu. Like, sexy, sexy Nospiratu. But he doesn't engage with us. What? Instead, he walks to the center of their carpeted floor and starts peeing. I knew it. Did you?

No. No. This has happened to me with a couple of people who've come out of my house and hooked up. Has it? Yes, yes, yes. Peat on the floor. But the more important question, also like Jesus, was he hung? Yes.

Oh, God bless. It was a gorgeous, like, horse cock. Oh, my God. So it wasn't not doing nothing for me. Right. But Troll doll doesn't do anything. He, Trollow keeps fucking me. He's busy.

And he's just screaming his partner's name. So he's just like, Jason! Jason! Jason! This went on for what felt like ever. But Hottie finished on the floor. Troll doll finished in me. And we all had a... cuddle puddle. Not that type, but, you know. Wow. But how did you leave? Um, actually, you know what's so

funny. The twist in this story is that me and Troll doll had sex again in the morning. Wow. Without hottie. Wow. I know. Isn't that beautiful? So you must, isn't that the way? It is. Sometimes people, like, I always say this about L.A., living in L.A. is you will have sex with some of the hottest people you have ever seen in your entire life and it will be the worst sex you have ever had in your entire life because they're not used to getting notes no one gives them the note.

They've never had to try. And they never had to try. The bad kisser. I've had horrible kissers from the hottest man I've ever seen. I'm like, yes. It's a chop. It's a chop. It's a full chop. And the people who especially like I have often said this like I love a butter face. I love someone who had to get hot because

they had no other choice. And like those people, they were in the trenches and they went to school. They studied. They were Googling how to eat apps. Yeah, exactly. They know how to do it. And they're grateful.

But, um, so. No one sucks cock like a former ugly. It's true. Wow. It's true. And I'm speaking for myself here. I'm calling myself that. Listen, if Accutane hadn't done its magic right now,

too many blowjob over there. Once, once, if you've never had cock, you've been starved of cock and then you finally get in your mouth? You're so thankful. Sure. You're so thankful. And hot people aren't. They're like, oh, yeah, I see this all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is like going to one of those like cities in America that doesn't have running water and passing out a water bottle. And they're like, oh my God, so thankful. And meanwhile, you know, we live in luxury here. It's like finding the green place in that max. I leave my faucet on while I brush my fucking teeth. Okay. So, Zach, what was the lesson that you took away from this experience that has, you know, you've carried with you. I mean,

Obviously, what we just said is that, like, don't judge the troll by its cover. Yeah. Also, I have a distinct, like, memory of feeling so scared not having my phone while at key is closed. So I, since then, I, like, I'm keenly aware of, like, where my phone is. Do you know what I mean? Oh, no, no, no. And that is a skill that comes with age as well. It does.

Like, at 23, I had no idea where any of my shit was at any given time. Just constantly left it on a party trolley, left it at the diner, left it everywhere. So I get you. I get you. Thank you so much, Sack Noi Towers, for that riveting tale. Twists and turns. Bad dates. Last, I cannot wait to hear this. I am so sad that this is coming to a close, but Manorogapian.

Again, I think I know your relationship status now, but give the listeners a little peek into your world. I'm married to a nice man. You've met. We, back in the day, we were watching drag race together in a living room. Yeah, so I've been with him. We'll be celebrating 10 years together. Like, yeah, like in a couple days.

Oh, my gosh. Success story. Yeah, he's great. He's awesome. So where in your timeline, if you've been together with this man for 10 years, is the back date story about this man? No, no, he's great. We don't have many funny stories. of him being bad.

This is the problem. Like, my partner, I think, expects to be in my set or be a presence in my set. There's nothing funny. And I'm like, we're in love and we're healthy

and we communicate and we don't have, like, there's just, you, I thought you would be a greater gold mine for me for material.

Honestly. But there is nothing about our relationship that I can find to make funny. Wow. It sucks. Well, there's nothing funny about being happy

or in love. Exactly. I was a much better joke writer when I was miserable, single, working three jobs. You know. Yep. Yep. Yeah, he's cool. The only thing that's funny is like, because now you become like a, like a, I've become like a, a, a Kathy. You, you become a person who's like, my partner did the funniest thing. He farted in his sleep. And it's like, that's really like tired ass. I'm a teacher, teacher humor. This isn't interesting to anyone hearing it except for you. Yeah. And maybe your partner. Yeah. I love to keep tabs on. his gas expulsion

throughout the night. So I get, I get, I'm a Kathy too, I guess. Like audio record? What's that? You audio record? No, I just like, I kind of count,

because you did hear that story about that couple who the woman would sleep underneath the covers, like weirdly, like a freak, basically. Underneath the covers, like, blanket fully covering her.

And she started getting like headaches and foggy and like they thought she was really sick and had a degenerative brain disease. And it turns out every night she was poisoning herself with because her husband would fart so much

underneath the covers and she was huffing it every night and slowly poisoning herself putting methane into her body putting methane into her body and then she stopped sleeping under the covers or got different blankets or something

and now she's fine so that is I hope that's true it is absolutely 100% true Google it, ask chat GBT it'll come up it sounds like an urban legend so Manu where in your timeline

does your story take place Before, before I met my husband, I was, I'm still a, like, really deranged slut, but, like, I was a different kind of deranged slut than, like, really taking flyers on the strangest people in the world. And this was a time when I was on Grindr, and I was flirting with a couple on Grindr, and, you know, classic tale, I was like, oh, couple's good. Why would I not sleep like two people? That's 50% more dick. And so fun to be the guest star, I have to say, as a now coupled person who has tried to organize threesomes, it is so much more stressful when you are in charge of this person's experience of you. Of course. Like when you're like, guest star, you come in, stir up some drama, save a marriage, maybe box out the weaker husband.

Like, it is like, you show your moves. Yeah, exactly. Box out the weaker husband. Oh, my. And then you just get a... You show your combo. Yeah. You do the fatality.

Everything's new to them. It's great. Yeah, it's great. So that's, they were like, and I was like, I was already intimidated. I just hadn't done a ton of threesomes. And they were like, come over, have some wine. And at the end of the wine, if you're not feeling it, you're more than welcome to leave. And I was like, okay, this is...

How generous of them. For some reason, that was a green light. It's one of those things where it's like, well, yeah, I knew that. Yeah. You actually... The fact of verbalized. Yeah, you saying that to me actually makes me worry that there was a scenario in which that wasn't the case. But you know on Grinders sometimes they're like now.

Oh yeah. On bed. Ass up. You know what I mean? Me. I'm getting married. Straight to the point. Utilitarian downs.

Yes. So I am like, okay, great. I'll go. I go over there. Couple, just like every gay couple in the world. You know, they have a similar. They're doppled bangers. They look, you know, they look the same.

But I wasn't that worried about that Because they were both handsome I was like, okay, work, this is going to be fun We start chit-chatting We start drinking the wine They're like on either side of me Cool Raptors

Like clever girl Title of that They're on either side of me There and like They're giving me a lot of attention Like you said guest star I was like okay fun This is cool

And making out ooh, the wine's flowing. And, but I'm noticing, like, as they're reaching over each other and as they, like, began to touch, there's, like, a flinch happening. So, like, would one of them, would, I'm in the middle. I don't like this. There's a flinch happening. And then they're, like, not touching each other's hands and stuff.

And I was like, okay. Happens a couple times. And I'm like, hey, y'all, like, I just want to understand, like, what are we doing? Are y'all not touching each other or something? Let's get the Zach Cam on, please. I think I don't know where this is going. I think I know where to I'm literally sweated to.

And I don't think I put on enough deodorant to hear this. And of course, one of them says, don't freak out. Which is, you never want to hear. You never want to hear. And they say, we're not a couple. We're brothers. Yeah. Oh, God.

And it's like, I'm sorry, but like, never say don't freak out. Because it's like, don't say something that would freak me out. and I won't freak out when they said don't freak out what was your immediate thought it wasn't brothers

it wasn't I thought they were like we're into like one of us is going to go in the corner and one of us is going to kiss you and then we're going to tag

like I thought it was like honestly that's fine yeah it's one of the great you know things about threesomes is I can go pee

and then come back and yeah everything's you know I thought it was that I was like okay we're going to be fine they're brothers and I was like

we just like we've never done this together and we've wanted to do it and um are they twin brothers or and how they had a couple years between them but somehow that makes it weirder for me that they like I am less forgiving like if they were twins I'd be like yeah because twins is masturbation I don't know but it's just like it's the same person it's my most cancelable take I think gay twins should be allowed to just do whatever they want to do like you know there's no babies coming from that like you know they're on the same level there's

no power differentials it's just like let the twins do what twins do you know and But brothers, I don't know why. That's the line. You draw the line there. You're stomping out of them. Mine is that Girl Scout cookies are bad. No, too far. Too far.

You freak? So they tell you their brothers. They tell me their brothers. And I'm drunk. Jurunk. Now, and they're like, don't worry. Like, we still want to like, you know, we'll like not touch each other. We'll, like, be on different sides of you.

We just wanted to do this together. And I was like, okay. How did they think this was going to go down? Like, what was the plan? Well, and I am a pervert. Let's be clear. I am a pervert because I did what? Stayed.

I stayed. I stayed. As you should. As you should. You knew there was a podcast you'd go on eventually. Also, it's not my, it's their crime, unfortunately. No, no, yeah, yeah. But obviously, the act happens.

And during the act, there's a lot of, um, Juses. Dare I say sports talk? Oh. There's a lot of encouragement between the brothers. Okay. Of like, yeah, do that. Yeah, you do that.

Yeah, get him. And so, like, I'm like, I am now the football field in front of them. And... This sounds like a porn I downloaded on LimeWire in, like, 200011. Like, this is so crazy. It only took 36 hours to download. Yeah, exactly. I went to bed and woke up next morning like it was Christmas.

Big bro, little bro. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It happens. We finish. And that 45 seconds after is like the longest 45 seconds. Oh, I can only imagine what the post nut clarity was doing to their heads after that. We'd all come back to our bodies.

We're no longer floating above. Society exists now. Society exists. They have to go to Thanksgiving with each other. Were you at their family home? No, no. They like, is an apartment that they live together in L.A. They're fucking.

I agree. See, I don't think I was the first at all. Wait, you think they're fucking each other. Yeah, they're living together. They're bringing over a third. And they could make a killing on OnlyFans. I know. I just, it is like, yeah, you got to wonder. I don't know. It was a gag.

And have you ever, have you ever done anything so kinky that like you don't need to have sex for like a month after? Totally. I like was like depleted. I'm good. Okay, I don't need to do sex for a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. So what would be your lesson that you took away from this scenario that you've carried with you into your now 10-year-long relationship?

Nothing. He learned nothing. I learned nothing. I guess I learned that, like, you can go down the rabbit hole, but climbing out is a lot harder. Wow. That's beautiful. That is beautiful. Damn.

That's poetic. Fuck, uh, Rooney. Brothers. No. Rumi should have fucked his pair of bruce. brothers, and then we would have gotten some poetry from that man. Bad dates. This has been such a fun.

Wild. It's so many good stories from each of you. It's been such a blast to talk to friends and family on our first episode back. Our first episode in studio. Cannot wait for all the people watching at home to take advantage of this view. But in the meantime, Oscar Montoya, where can people find you? What are you doing these days that you'd like to know about? Well, Mano and I are a co-host of a podcast called Drag Her.

And you can follow that at Drag Her Podcast on TikTok, YouTube, Instagram. And you can follow me individually at Ozimo on Instagram. Really quickly before we move to you, Mano. Who's your favorite to win this season? Just to give the listeners a little taste of where the takes are. Of All Stars 10? Of All Stars 10. My favorite to win is Bosco.

Okay. Will she win? I think people should. If I weren't already someone who, listen to your podcast, I would definitely tune in just for the taste alone. The taste alone. Wow. That's so nice.

Manu? Yes. I do a podcast called Dragherp. You can find it on YouTube, TikTok. Interesting. Just you. Even Patreon now. We're doing Patreon now. Everyone is substack I hear. Girl. I know. We'll put episodes out there too.

But doing that, we inherited this podcast from you. We do bits regularly that it will you will regain possession of the podcast. I've been fighting. My lawyers have been

you know, fighting with yours for so long. Or it's like a threesome that you went to pee and you came back. You went to pee and we locked you out. Yeah,

just follow the, listen to that podcast. We have so much fun doing it together. And I think my favorite for this season is Aja. I love that too. I really do like that. That tune would be a true

underdog storylines. And it's a lip-sink-up. I mean. We don't know. You're strong. I'm not like super optimistic about that but if we have a true underdog it should be Ajae.

Wait, what's your personal social media assistant? Monoagapian. Thank you. Thank you. And I don't have a take on All-Stars but you can follow me at Zach Noe-Towers, Z-A-C-H-N-O-E-O-W-R-S

and I host a podcast called Good Sod Pod or Good Morning Sodomites and it's me and a friend talking about their sex life. Wow. Yeah. Never, never, never, never would have guessed. I know. Never would have guessed.

She'd be good at something like that, you know? Okay, well, as always, listeners, if you've enjoyed what you've heard here today, which I know you fucking did, don't lie. Go straight to the rate review page. Give us five stars. It really helps other people find the podcast. We'd love to see your five-star reviews. I like to see your four-star reviews. I get pissed.

Yeah, fuck you think you are. You came all the way over here. Dragging down the average to what end? Okay. That has been this episode of Bad Dates. We'll be back next week with more stories from the trenches of bad dates, bad hookups, bad marriages, et cetera, et cetera, with a brand new panel of funny friends.

Please tune in then. Until then, goodbye. Bad Dates is a production of smartless media created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen. and Stuart Bailey, produced, edited, and engineered by Devin Torrey Bryant, produced by Anne Harris, edited by Kyle McGrath, Associate producer is Maddie McCann, Social Media producer is Tommy Galgana, executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Bainman. Executive producers for smartless media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky.

Music by Cushie and Evan Schlever. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com. or call us at 984-265-3283. That's 984-265-3-2-8-3. That's all for this week. We will be back for more. Bad Gates. Thank you.