Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - New Parent Turn-Ons (w/ Natasha Leggero & Sabrina Jalees)

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

Joel sits down with the co-hosts of the parenting podcast Good Enough. They discuss what new turn-on has emerged in their partners since becoming parents, and it goes places. The group spirals into a full circumcision debate ("uncut energy," designer dicks, and whether Gen Alpha will be the first mostly-intact generation), then each names the four things they'd actually get out on the street for — billionaires, no war, and screen-time guilt included.Subscribe to SmartLess Media on YouTube for full episodes, and follow @intimacycoordinatorshow on Instagram and TikTok for clips.Joel Kim Booster: @ihatejoelkim · Loot Season 3 (Apple TV+) · Fire Island (Hulu) · Psychosexual (Netflix)Natasha Leggero: @natashaleggero · Good Enough Podcast (w/ Sabrina Jalees) · The Endless Honeymoon Podcast (w/ Moshe Kasher) · Author of The World Deserves My ChildrenSabrina Jalees: @sabrinajalees · Good Enough Podcast (w/ Natasha Leggero) · The Comedy Lineup (Netflix) Produced by Brian Baldinger and Anne Harris. Associate Producers are Maddie McCann and Katherine Calligori. Editor is Jacob Vaus. Executive Producers are Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Robert Cohen, Richard Korson and Bernie Kaminski. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Intimacy Coordinator ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I have to remember to put my phone on Do Not Disturb so when someone else is using my computer, all my texts don't go in. Who else is using your computer? Frida, sometimes. Don't let her on your computer. Oh, wow. Moshe might need it. I don't know. Guys, you need one computer.

You never. A new room of one down. The amount of horror stories I've heard from gay guys who have family cloud. Oh. Rough stuff. Nobody should have family cloud. Like a lot of pictures. Yeah, lots of pictures.

Lots of pictures being shared with the family on the, like, slideshow in the kitchen on the iPod. No. That's going to be our intro. Hello, everybody. It's intimacy coordinator. And today I have two incredible mothers staring me down in the face. Two wonderful comedians, too. I should have probably said that first.

You probably would have preferred that. Being a mother is more important to me. Oh, wow. I'm currently breastfeeding, so I need that to be up front and center. Okay. Well, those two voices you just heard. You love her. You know her from another period.

Her illustrious stand-up career. It's Natasha Legerro, everybody. And then also... Thank you. We have a friend, my friend for a long, long time. She has many stand-up specials in clips you can pull up online. We've known each other for years. We're both appearing on the upcoming crowd control on dropout.tv.

Check that out. It's Sabrina Jalise, everybody. That's right. Canadian ex-pack. I knew Joel before he was ripped. Yeah, that is true. That is true. I knew you before you were on Manjaro.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, you forgot all her illustrious credits. Well, she's an incredible writer to... She's on like every big show. Am I the girl that put Gabby Hoffman's hand down my pants and orgasmed and transparent? Yeah, that's me. Yes, that is you. Icebreaker question for today is a fun one, and it is, what is something?

that you have noticed about your partner since becoming parents that is like a new turn-on for you, if any. You know what was shocking was when they were slicing my wife open for a C-section.

Love this imagery. For the first and the second time, there was something about like how fucking gruesome that was that like all I kept on saying like my mantra was like, I'll give you anything, I'll give you anything. And so like this vibe of like,

I can't believe she, made these babies in her body and then the finishing move to be sliced like a lobster like a fucking lobster tail is her legs and it's just completely all of her muscles cut I'm not saying I was like I'm ready to fuck but I was like I'm ready to give you anything like anything that will bring you pleasure yeah I will give to you was it a similar experience when you gave birth I did not give birth I miss carry Joel but this baby you're restfeeding right now. She was kidding. Okay. I was like,

fuck you, Sabrina. Guys, let's go straight to the fact that I miscarried at three and a half months. Yep, that's a perfect way to start the pod. Again, another turn on. But seriously. But seriously, I did not give birth. I gave, I, first baby was,

I tossed Jiz and Shauna. Baby comes out. I'm like, well, that's an easy magic trick. We try IVF in Mexico at a clinic that's like, yeah, we're a real clinic. I'm winking. And waste two years there. And then I'm like, oh, maybe it's internalized homophobia. I should toss

and me, I immediately, even Mother Nature is like we don't want to bitch lady pregnant. Yeah, no one wants to see that. I actually, there was a, I had an annoying friend come over, and I think my baby was like, oh, this is who we're hanging with? Never mind.

Peace out, bitch. And then Baby Go Die. I go sad. Then toss my embryo in my life. Sabrina's been processing this for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're listening to. Baby go die is not like the first thought.

of the special that she is releasing based on the trauma of miscarrying. I just drove here from the D&C and maybe go die. I'll tell you that. But then Shauna gave birth to second. Now, this was like truly her doing my homework. It was my embryo inside her body. Got it, got, got, got, got. And then to end with the sliced body open was very dramatic.

And I'm not saying that as like, you know, there's other things when I see her dancing with our kids. I'm like, what a fucking whimsical life you're giving all of us. Right now we're going on a trip. She's packing for us. That's sexy to me. She's a, I would love, she's packed for me before. I was just going to say I'd love her to pack for me.

And when are you going to fuck her, Natasha? Natasha, same. I pay for her to pack me. And she pays me to pack her. Okay, don't get gross. You know what? This is an NPR. This is an NPR.

This is an NPR. You know, that's quick. I said it in a 20s bank robber's voice. And she paid me to pack her. It is. That was the voice, I think if you leaned a little bit more into the voice, it could have worked. Yeah. I like that you think of yourself as the bank robber, not like the heroin or like the, it's cute.

We'll get to heroin. What are you attracted to? What are you, is there anything about Moshe that you became attracted to post-parenthood? You know, it's funny because when I first, yeah, like, I can tell this question is written by someone who's very happily a newly married, Joel, because the idea that it only gets better. is hilarious. I mean, there are a lot of surprises, but they're bad surprises. You know?

Like, there's a lot of like, oh, oh, I don't remember you doing things. I guess you probably always peed all over the floor when you went to the bathroom. You know what I mean? Like, lots of like... Peat all over the floor. Do you pee all over the floor?

I don't. Well, sometimes... Here's what happens. He's looking at his phone. Boner. So when you pee while you pee while you, look at your phone, you're peeing all over the floor. Yeah.

Sometimes, because of my foreskin. Oh. Say more. Things happen. The stream. All my boys have foreskin. Diverts. And let's be clear, I have a normal one.

But, like, it is like sometimes it's late at night. I'm not paying close attention. You got to pull it back, right? I got to pull it back. It's like, whoa. It's like, you got to pull that trigger. It's like preparing a gun to be fired. What is that called?

Glocking the clock. Clocking the clock. Wow. He doesn't have that excuse. No. He doesn't famously. He's a chosen person, so they love to do the thing. What is it called again?

Cutting the end? It's a bris. Snipping. Snipping the bris. Circumcision was the standard, though. Is it true that the moyle gets it with his mouth? That's like a, I think, orthodox. It used to be that, but.

What is psychotic twist on an already twisted? It's the worst. Yeah. And then the moils are also supposed to be, quote, funny. Oh. They're like comedians. The whole thing's off. That's, yeah.

They're like the funny ones. Set up and bunch. I will say it's interesting now. Gen Alpha is going to be like the first generation that is mostly uncut because insurance is no, by and large, no longer covering circumcision at birth. You have to opt into it. Interesting. And so a lot of people aren't doing that.

I'm always down to talk about how the medical system is to blame. But also I think another reason is that people are having a little bit of common sense. And I do think that like when we talk about like the rage that like these boys are so angry, I'm like, well maybe don't cut the end of their dick. Don't mutilate them. First moment. So you're an intact?

Intacted. Intact. Must my brother is. I'm very upset about it. I'm not but then by the way, my British friend, Augie, who had a beautiful dick that I saw all the time when we went to Palm Springs we'd be hanging up by the pool. He had his foreskin. He was part of the reason why we were like, oh, of course we wouldn't cut the end of

their dick off. He electively got a, what's it called? That's crazy. That is crazy to me. I actually hooked up with a guy like a couple years ago and afterwards I was like, it's so crazy because you give uncut energy. And he was like, funny you should mention, I got a circumcision at the age of 27. Oh my God. And describe uncut energy more. Yes, please. It's just like a certain vibe where you know someone has to spend a little more time cleaning their dick, you know? If it's uncut. So is it is it a good thing? Is it a good thing? Is it a good energy? It's not like an OCD energy.

It's like a cleanliness energy. Yeah, no. I mean, it's a swagger. Oh, great. It got their whole dick. Yeah. But it's interesting. Whoa.

I'm interested to see. I also think it just feels better in every regard. But how do you know? You never had it without. No, no. I mean, like, if you're having receptive sex, it feels better. It has. If you're receiving the sex.

Yeah, if you are the receptor of the. sex. Yeah. Okay. So I'm like, my thing is now that I'm like, okay, I literally never finished a hand job. So what would I know about like the whole industry of dicks and what value people put on them? Now I'm starting to realize, yeah, there's like some sort of like racism against uncut in a way that's like just, but it's basic, basic what you've been fed to think a dick should look like. Yeah. No, exactly. And and if my kids want to have a designer dick later, I'll be like, sure. I wanted you to make the decision and I'll pay for it. I've been with two uncut dicks.

One of them, it looked like job of the hut. Is that what it's supposed to like? It sounds like a little mound. It's one of the ones that doesn't, you couldn't pull it back, basically. Yeah, it was like a mountain. I mean, while we talk about this, it looks like a regular day. But look at pussies. It's like it's not like we have a lady at a stand on here.

It's like, you know, when you were going to talk about like these fictional characters that our genitals look like, I mean, Pussies are just like a bunched up bunch of meat. I, um, they're gorgeous. I love them. In my late 20s, fingered woman at a bar. Really fucked up. And I was really, I heard how complex they were. Yeah.

But I didn't know it was, it was like an escape room. I just like, there's so many different like areas you had to go to and sort of like. Areas you had to go to. No, more power to you. I have a newfound respect for people who sleep with people with vaginas because it is a much more involved, I think. There's a lot going on. Just a straightforward up and down sort of running the laps. It's Jabba the Hut and a coat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did the other one look different? Or were they both sort of fully involved in there? I'll tell you one thing now that you said that they both had mad swagger. Really? Mm-hmm. I never even thought of that. Wow.

This is my thing though about the... We should maybe start a business where we add people's like a fictional foreskin For people that are regret doing it You literally can create a new foreskin What do you create? Years and years and years. What do you do? There's a tool I had a friend who was doing it

And you literally are just pulling your dick skin Like constantly stretching it Trying to get it to come over your head and there's like a tool and weights though. I'm trying to give like a little Play-Doh foreskin that you slip on. You know, I think if people had that technology, it would be out there already. I, well, where there's a will, there's a way. No, that's true. If you're an investor, come at me, bro. I guess this is my thing about the guys who are really mad about it.

Yeah. I understand the anger. I don't, you know, I've never had to experience that. I understand that we were babies. When it happened, we had no agency in it. But whenever someone's like out on the street in New York and you're like, do you have a time, do you have time to talk about this? I'm always like sort of like, I get it. I am so with you on the morality of it. But at the same time, I'm like, guys, there's so many things. There's so many things.

Yeah, there's an ice agent. I know we can care about a lot of things at the same time. But at a certain point, like, maybe four tops, I think, that you can be out on the street about. Yeah. And it's just like, it's sort of like I wouldn't like, I wouldn't. Like, I would, I hold that belief, but I, there are so many other things that kind of superseded that I would be on the street about. Wait, this is a good philosophy. Just, what are the four things you would be out on the street about?

Just in general, I'm not asking you specifically, but I'm saying that's something that we could all think about. I have them right away. You do, yeah. Number one, sleep train your babies. Don't be sleeping in bed with your fucking babies. You're creating more monsters. And it's more intricate than that. We have.

But number two, don't breastfeed your kids past two years old, you freaks. Stop it. All of these things are infantilizing your kid in a way that they're going to become society's problem. Number three, abolish ice. I don't like these guys, starting to think they're bad guys. I was wondering if it was all going to be parent, like motherhood related, but it's not. You do get the problem. You know Natasha and I have a award-winning podcast called Good Enough, right?

Yes, I was going to bring that up. Yeah, but I had to bring it up first, and then we'll bring it up later as well. Okay. It's a parenting podcast. And then number four, guys, choose love. Okay. No war? No war.

Choose love. I would say economic equality, queer rights, reproductive rights, and I think the number four, the environment. Yeah. Oh, so you want no billionaire, so you can't even become a fucking billionaire, Jewel? Yeah. That's kind of the point. I heard of a town in California. Maybe you guys heard this.

This was also a forward for my mom, but it's true. Okay. That they all have to sign a, they all have to sign an agreement of kindness to live there. Oh, that's cute. That is cute. It's in the desert. That's very cute. But anyway, yeah, like all the neighbors have pledged to be kind to each other.

Wouldn't that be tight? Well, you know, my first reaction is like, I wonder, I was working. I know. That was sort of where my head was going at, too. And it's also like sort of like, you picked a word that is a little. little nebulous. Vague, yes. Kindness can mean a lot of different things

to a lot of different people. I'm trying to tell you, your trees need to be trimmed. I'm trying to be kind about it. I'm killing you with kindness. Young. Natasha, what are your four things? Oh, man, I thought of it.

What is your four skin? There we go. Four skin and seven years ago. If I want to be out on the streets, I mean, I think that I know this isn't a hot take, but I truly think the billionaires are going to destroy the earth. And I think that they're trying to make us think it's about all these other things.

100%. You know, and I think that because of the Internet, we're confused. And everyone's algorithm is saying, you know, it's trans. It's the Muslims. It's the Jews. It's the DEI. It's the proud boys. It's the liberals.

They're just trying to, like, distract us so that they can. take away our rights and make us work weekends and we'll all be there's. There's a lot of people out on the streets for things that don't. That aren't the problem. I know. But. I know. But I think that's a big one.

And then, I don't know. No. But see, I'm like all about no screens for my kid, but then I let her watch Disney shows. And I think it's like harmfully impacting her. In what way? The Disney shows? Yeah. Because they're like teenagers and they're all dressed up and all the, all of the, all of the,

The storylines are about them getting on their, like, getting phones. Natasha showed us on our podcast the last episode. There was a, like, a Pan Up, like a Disney show for kids. It was like for seven-year-olds. Yeah. And the shot starts on this girl's, like, ankle wearing a heel, glides up her calf, up her thigh, and then like, lands on a medium shot. And it's like, so what do you think we're going to do at the mall today?

And it's like, what? Whose gaze is this for? That's what, I mean, it literally just came up because my daughter will borrow my computer, and watch Netflix or Disney or whatever. You know, she doesn't have an iPad. But then I just turned it on one day and I saw that that was the shot. And I'm just like, it's just very like, I don't know.

It's too mature for that. I hear you. So sort of two and three is no screens and then also age-appropriate content on Disney. That would be nice. For once. Oh, wait, but wait, let me finish my thing. No screens thing, though, I have opinions about.

Okay, well, I'll just tell you this is one of mine. Okay. But they're not just for kids. Yes. Oh, for no one. I feel like, no, not no screens for no one, but like I feel like the more activities, like what we're doing right now. Yeah.

We're podcasting. Even though it's a podcast, we're not. There are three cameras on us right now. I know, but we're not like, okay, well, maybe this isn't the best example. But the more things you can be doing, even if it's eating a meal without looking at your phone, reading a book, like we're already post-literate. Like, people know how to read, but they just don't read books anymore. Like, we can still read as a society.

And I think it's our duty to do that so it doesn't all just go away. Yeah. So I think that's really important. Reading. I love that. Getting off your phone. The no screen thing, man. You just looked at your phone when you said that.

I know. I just seen what time it is. She has a child. I think, like, I will never forget my two-year-old niece, like flipping through a magazine and trying to move and make things bigger. Yes. Like it was an iPad. It's gorgeous. She was two.

That's evolution. And like, for the first couple years of her life, like, thought I lived in the phone. Like, you know, it's just like things like that, harmless maybe, but also, like, I fully, and who knows, like, I say all these things about how I'm going to be a parent this way and that way. But, like, who, like, who knows what the fuck is going to happen. So I try to have no judgment about people who I do see their kids are on the iPad or whatever. I would like to think that my kids are going to, we're going to, like, keep them away from it long enough, send them to Montessori. and like to say, hey, pick a book that you like when they're still like doing picture books. And we'll take that to the doctor's office.

So the doctor's office, definitely not at the doctor's office. I have a thing with restaurants and I've come like full. I've like I started like you. I remember being in Palm Springs, always in Palm Springs. I see Gavin Rossdale with his 19 children. Each of the kids has a. Oh, like some by Gwen Stefani, some by the nanny that he left her for. It's impossible to know.

Who looks exactly like at her. By the way, he had. so many nannies to choose from because each kid had a nanny next to the kid. Stop it. Oh my God. And then the nanny, the kid, Gavin Rostale, and everybody was on their iPad. And I remember looking at this being like, what has the world become? Cut to me, when we're at a restaurant, this is what we do.

We go, let's have some chats. We go like about 10, 15. We run it like a stand-up show. The opening is we're hosting. What are you, anybody celebrating anything? We're talking. Okay. We're doing roses and thorns, which is great.

I like roses and thorns even for grownups. I just did it with your producer Brian. We do rose bud, Thorne. It gets right to the core. Yeah, the butt is good too. But the rose is like, what do you love? Thorne is like, what did you hate? About today.

About today or whatever. We're having conversation. And then we shift to I'm on a date with my wife at a restaurant. I'm not talking about when we're sitting at home having dinner. But when we're at a restaurant, restaurants are not built for kids to enjoy, especially when you are like, say we're all catching up. We all meet at Columbus. What is there for my, it's like, you're trying to, like, teeter around a catch-up and, like, age-appropriate conversation.

This is a classist question. Why? Because you're rich. What, I mean, hardly. But, like, what is stopping you from leaving the kids at home to have a date with your wife? Money. That's why I said it was the class-ist question. But the other thing is, I would rather, to be honest, than every time I want to have a conversation with my wife at the day.

dinner table that is like talking shit about someone or not like appropriate for my kids to be involved in. I have to pay someone $25 an hour. That's crazy. So that's the shift. The shift is that like and the other thing is you might see I might have clocked in. I'm seeing Gavin Rossdale and all these nannies and the babies on tablets. I don't know what they did all day. They could have been in the pool. They probably were like swimming. They're probably doing a lot of stuff. And like like it or not, the way we decompress and now our children are mimicking us is through some sort of entertainment. on your phone. And like I do understand that there is a difference between these quick clips that like snap our kids' brains in half and like something more like bluey that's a little bit slower and

kind of like better to put into your kids' mind. And at the same time, I will also say we were in Mexico last weekend. We were catching up with our donor and his wife. And I remember early days we had babies before they had babies. And I remember feeling like, okay, they're for sure judging us the amount of time that Wolfie's on his screen. But they'll see when their kids grew up. And that being said, we're at breakfast. The little girl takes out a puzzle. The little boy is playing with two cars.

And I said to them like, oh my God, you guys did it. Like I totally thought it's inevitable, but they do live in the jungle. Also, you and your wife have a lot in common, and I think you guys genuinely like catching up with each other. Yeah. But I also think that like... Yeah, this is not an issue for Natasha. Yes, but no, but the way that...

It's like, it's a way of also not drifting to, like, continue to be able to have adult conversations while... And again, I have no idea what your life is like. So I'm... It's a roller coaster. It is just like, I would like to think. Like, how did you do it? Well, I only have one kid.

That's a big part of it. She got two. One kid. And then, um, it was just something I was obsessed with. Mm. Of like, it was just a person. What replaced the screens, like sitting in the doctor's office? Reporte, baby!

Yeah. Also, I like the idea of her getting bored. Yeah. And it's annoying and she complains. Like, especially in the doctor's office, I won't just hand it to her because, like, I remember being bored and I remember being, like, with my mom on errands. And yeah, it sucked. Actually, I don't know if that helped me. The screen, to me is intentional.

It's like, I'm not doing it in a car. Wolfie will be in a car for hours and hours and will be bored. It's important. That's the... Right. And I do it in a car. Your fucking imagination is when you're bored. Yeah, I'm not saying I'm doing it better.

And also, my daughter's watching, like, age inappropriate Disney shows. So it's like, even if she only sees one of those a week, it's, like, probably bad for her. I don't know. Her daughter has a heated rivalry blog. She's writing flash fiction. Yes. It's hard. I mean, it's, maybe it's like, I don't know, but I actually do enjoy, like, the dinner conversation.

Because I want to hear about what, not that you don't want to hear about your kids. No, I just have like a designated. And then it's also like what you get used to. It's like Wolfie's now used to being in a car without, if you take that away, going backwards. Actually, I made a mistake last summer. I signed Wolfie up for tennis and pickleball camp. And he brought his iPad, or his Kindle Fire, actually. By the way, if you're listening to your kid an iPad, don't buy your kid an iPad.

Those are so expensive when they crack and they fall and they get lost. Kindle fires are like 75 bucks. Wow. And they'll last a couple of years, you know. So anyway, so he brought his Kind of. and then one of the coaches said, I don't know if Wolfie's a tennis kid, he's a little more of an iPad kid.

And I'm like, what? And so this year, I'm like, I don't care how many kids are bringing their phones and their iPads, you're not doing it. And he's like, but last year, but last year, but precedent. I said, that was my bad.

That was my mistake. And the iPad's always going to win over tennis. Of course. It's like the sun, the exertion. But guess what? In not bringing it, he's having this like breakthrough of like, he's like good at tennis.

is now. He's like good at Pickable and he's so into it. That is amazing. Well and I also want to say I don't know I've never met your daughter I don't know her so I can't speak to that but like your son is thoughtful and sensitive you've raised like a really lovely like with personality and so obviously like it's possible like both ways are valid but also my kid watches tons of TV I just decided to not do it at dinner's no no no no so that's totally fair. Here's my question I love asking couples this Which one of you is the stricter parent? And I have a follow-up question.

No, no, no, yes. But in your individual, your individual. Which one is stricter? Which one is stricter? You were Shana or you are Moshe. Well, it's funny because, well, Moshe, actually, you know, I just thought of an answer to your first question. It does kind of turn me on, if you can,

that he will acquiesce to my ideas. Nice. my parenting ideas because he's like he's we're pretty on like on the same idea you know I think part of that is probably because he was raised by two moms oh that's interesting his grandma and his mother that's an interesting way I want I think like he probably really respects the like womanhood in being a mother and being a parent into some degree that maybe some other men lack that is like a sexy sort of like uh dynamic that I think we should talk about it on our podcast like that thing of backing up your partner

when you're doing a parenting thing and your partner's like, yeah, listen to Baba. My kids call me Baba. Listen to Baba. It's like, okay. Well, the other day, she said something to me. She was mad about something and she screamed because I didn't tell her about something. And she ran into her room and

Moshe was like, uh-uh, uh-uh, come back here. Apologize to your mother. You can't talk to her like that. Love. And I don't even think that she shouldn't be talking to me like that. But he like heard it and then like in front of me and in front of her to the point where she's like, I'm so sorry, I'll never do that again. But like, it makes me scared because I'm like,

what are the things I'm not noticing and sticking up for myself when he's not there? Yeah. You know, but he is more strict. But also, I was with my friend the other day and they have three kids. Two of them are valedictorians. And I'm like, you have two kids who are valedictorians.

And she's like, I know my husband said, if the third one is he's going to write a book. But she was like, he's very strict. and she said if they ever had any problem with anything at school, he would say you need to go talk to your teacher about that. Huh. To really get them in a relationship dialogue with the teacher. And she was like, he said never helped them with any of their homework.

Huh. And I was like, oh, that's so interesting. That is interesting. I don't know, I'm not there yet. Never help with homework is kind of a swerve. Yeah, that seems. But also, like, probably he had kids that were so intuitively smart that he knew that they could figure it out. Right.

Because if you help, I notice that, like, my daughter, she's just like, I don't know how to do that. It's boring. I can't do it. And I just kind of like, I don't know what to do. I felt her. I'm, like, all about incentives. And I'm back clicked into the card method. Like, he used to be into Pokemon.

Oh, I'll answer the stricter. Let me get, so I feel that in most things, Shauna is stricter because she was raised by, like, a military daddy. And so it was, like, very, there's, like, certain, like, in terms of, like, clumbiness and, like, the kinds of foods that they're eating. These kids are eating, like, like, Olympians. like she is feeding them like eggs and asparagus in the morning. Sabrina does this really cool thing where she goes to grocery outlet and then puts all the cheap food in like an expensive. Sprout's bad. Not even expensive, just mid.

So that Shana doesn't get upset because she doesn't want her kids eating at grocery outlet. Sabrina did this really cool thing called sneaky, sneaky, sneaky. Lying to your partner. No, white women get nervous about good deals and they don't understand that there's nothing to. to be afraid of. It's like, I'm buying the exact same brand milk, but then it comes in a grocery outlet bag, and she's like smelling it. And I'm like, it's the dick, it's fine. Unfortunately, I think this is probably going to get a clip now because of what you just said, and the jig is up.

Oh, the jig has been up. Someone brought it up at dinner. Someone, I talk about it on the podcast and then, you know, it's, yeah, she knows, but she, she's turning a blind eye. The bags are the bags, okay? It's very easy to get fooled by bags and you've got kids running around. And once you go down that rapid hole of guessing, like, is the bag real? or is the bag fake? Then it's just like, just drink the milk. You lose your mind, yeah.

So here's what I like to do with homework or with, like, we're going on this big trip coming up. We're going to go to France. We're going to go to Italy. It's that dynamic where you're like, oh, my God, the abundance that my kids are experiencing is, like, inevitably going to aggravate me how laissez-faire they are about it.

And yes, that was French. I'm ready for you, France. But I said, on this trip, I don't want you to ask for anything. Your budget is $30. for the whole trip. If you want something, that's your budget. So just plan.

And now he's smart. He's like, do I have to use the budget or can I save it? Huh? Yeah. When I tell him this when we go. How are you going to keep track of that? Of course. How do I keep track of money?

My whole mind is a calculator right now. She's really good at that. I'm like, I'm dialed in with that. And so, but I bought for $10. He's into these one piece cards. I got 100 one piece cards. So I'm like, is one piece a brand.

One piece is a TV. It's an anime show that is like so like, like embedded in the heart of every eight-year-old boy right now. I think it's like one of the longest running. It's like thousands of episodes. One piece? Magna. Maga.

Maga. My boy's into maga. I've got a Lindsay Graham card, which is now very valuable. So it's a one piece, you know, 100 cards. I'm like, every single day that you do not ask for anything that you're kind, that you're helpful, you're going to get two one-piece cards. It's probably not going to happen every day. You're going to see, you know, we're going to see how you do.

And so far, even like, because I had extra. I'm like, let's start it now. And it's truly like when they can see a carrot. And I understand that there's like some parenting philosophies that are like, they should just do it from the goodness of their hearts. But like, why do you work out? Because you see her muscles and you're like, all right, I'm going to put myself through something because the end result is going to give me something.

Yeah. Here's the question I love to ask couples after asking this strict question. And Natasha and I are together. Don't listen to what she's saying. She's being insane right now. I'm bummed that your partners aren't here because the way I've seen couples, like, realize something about their partner being asked this specific question is really funny. How old do they have to be to let them go to Coachella?

Well, Moshe really wants our daughter to go to Burning Man. I know. We've talked about this. And I am against it. And I talked to my therapist about it. And she was like, you're right. She's too young. She will get overstimulated. There's no need to put her in this overstimulation.

So I just keep fighting it in very, But what about Coachella? Like how old would you... Oh, Coachella? I think is 12 a good age? I don't know. Coachella's young. The question is, what age do you want to be when Coachella's completely ruined for you?

Yeah. No, that's a really good way for you. That's the question. And for me, it's a financial question. It's already ruined for me. It's too hot there. I went to Coachella for my 40th birthday last year. My friend works there.

we got these like VIP passes. I wouldn't go if I didn't have a VIP access to something where it's just like a throngs of crowds. I think when you work in the business in some way, you just have this feel. It's like a, it's ego, but it's also sensibility. You get older and you're like, I don't want to stand in line. We were all around when music festivals were trying to do comedy too.

We all did. We all rode around Bonaroo and one of those little golf carts. But how old do you think? I would say, because my friend that works for a golden voice, has kids Wolfie's age So if it was like Hey we're gonna do

Coachella family style It's all free Then I'm like Whatever age Because it's more about Like if I was someone Who was paying for tickets For an experience

That is an all day music festival What's the use in bringing someone along That's gonna piss their pants And need to leave at seven How old I guess I should rephrase How old do they have to be To let them go on their own? Oh, not 12

On their own I can't even imagine This is the 18 I think about, like, my parents were so paranoid, and then I was, like, allowed to go to, like, on this, like, Greece and Italy trip in high school. I'm like, it feels so scary to, I guess obviously there was teachers there and nothing scary happened. But I'm like, you know, I don't know how old I'll, I feel like I'm going to be, like, kind of creepy trolling his car, like with those people on Instagram trying to catch, what's it called, Predators? or like affair people.

Yeah. My answer to this question is when you can pay for it, you can go. Ah. Because I think like that was sort of how everything worked when I was growing up. And I just think it like teaches people. But I've seen couples literally find out like my one, this one couple, the last couple I asked this, he was like, oh, 21 probably. And the husband was like, oh, like, you know, 14, 15, I'll stay in the hotel. I'll let them go.

And they like literally got in a fight about this. imaginary child going to Coachella because they didn't like realize the difference in parenting styles. It's so fascinating. It sort of also comes hand in hand with the exploration of drugs too. Sure. That's one of the problems. Yeah. I mean I like the idea of her liking music. I guess that's why I was like oh yeah if there was a band she wanted to see but the drugs. That's the thing is what you were just talking about. Sex. I'm going to be the stricter parent. I know this for a fact because I did so much shit when I was a teenager that I should be dead several times over and so like I know

what kind of shit they could get into my husband was like pretty much a good kid didn't drink it to college basically yeah and like I think it's like a little bit more like I think we're both assuming actually this situation happened one of my best friends was visiting me in L.A. She's a woman and she I let like she and I have been friends for like close to two decades she would come and visit me in New York come and visit me in L.A. And, like, inevitably, I would want to go and do something gay. And she's a straight woman. And so she would go off.

And, like, we were totally fine going off on our own and doing our own thing while she was visiting me. And then this last trip, she was like, no, I'm coming to the dark room. She hadn't come home yet. I called her. She's wasted. I hear a guy in the background trying to buy another drink. And I was like, okay, well, just like come home soon. And then my husband was so worried.

He was like, because then I became four. And then I hadn't heard from her. She's not answering my text. She's not answering my calls. I'm, like, freaking out because he's freaking out. And, like, you know, again, a friend of 20 years, I know we can handle her shit. Like, I'm sure it's fine. But because he's freaking out so much, I start to freak out.

And then at 430, she arrives back home. Phone lost. Wasted. I'm not even sure how she got a fucking car back to the thing. And I knew immediately what it was going to look like when we were parents because I was like, how, are you fucking kidding me? It is 4.30 in the morning. Do you know what you put him through? He was so worried about you.

I cannot believe. This is so, we're too old for this. Blah, blah, blah. Going and then immediately she walks in the door. He's like, oh my God, you're asleep. And just like holding her. And she's like, I'm sorry. And he's like, it's fine.

It's fine. Come. I made it like, eat the rest of my sandwich. And I'm like downstairs. Wait. You guys waited awake? Yeah. Because I was like the last thing I heard was some guy in the background.

They thought she was getting like date right. Yeah. And I like, her phone, her, her phone was dead and lost. Oh, God. That's scary. And so like, it was like a whole thing. But I was like, oh, this is how we're going to be. like he's going to be like

oh it's okay I'm just glad you're safe and I'm going to be like how fucking dare you put me through this it's like almost physics right like the tighter you hold something all of that energy that you're putting into gripping it is like has an equal opposite reaction when you let

go that's why all those Catholic priest fuck kids that's right that is why well they're making them like you can't do anything you can't have sex can't have sex no no no no and then they're the outlet And then I guess, I don't know. I mean, why does it happen constantly? That's an interesting thing that I don't want to dwell on for two months.

Sorry. What is the worst possible sort of what ideology or what anything that you, what choice could your kids make that you would really have to grit your teeth and support them through it anyways? Like what is the worst case scenario in terms of that? Oh, obviously like Republican. Yeah. Let's take that off the table and get more grand healing. Well, Moshe's parents, he said they had two. I had one rule growing up, which is you have to graduate college.

Moshe's parents, their two rules were no tattoos and no military. Okay. You weren't allowed to join the military, which I think is kind of cool. I don't know, what do you think? I just, I shudder at the thought of either of my sons bringing home a dud. Yeah. I'm like the idea of like us curating this cute-ass family and they're so gorgeous. And then for you to bring home a do-de-do for Christmas.

I'm like, I can't. And I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from being. I think that's a little bit part of my personality is a little bit like I will be like absolutely no. Tell Tanya she's got to go home. Tell Gary he doesn't belong here. You don't get the ring. I'm not. I know you can't.

I know it's that great. It's the physics. So I've got to actually be like. I love Tanya. Yeah, you gotta like sort of reverse psychology a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But I hope that that's not the case. Like so far, like the people that Wolfie is eight, the other one's two, so who knows. But like the people that Wolfie gravitate towards generally have been like kind, good people. I'm, I mean, this is like adjacent to being conservative and Republican, whatever, but it's religion for me. Like literally any, if you're a fund, like, if you get involved in any fundamentalist, like, that, that, end of the spectrum of any religion. Yeah, that would be upset, I think, just because of my star. But that's got to be the same as the MAGA thing.

Yeah, yeah. Right. It's like any sort of cult, it's like, of course, if your kid gets indoctrinated into some ideology that. Yeah. I guess, like, again, like, I almost think this would be worse in some ways than if they were just Republican, if they were libertarian. Because then you're not only sort of like have terrible ideology, but you're also dumb as fuck.

Like, you just care about money. Atlas shrugged. Give me a break. Wait, you didn't enjoy that book? I mean, I did it before I understood what it was about. Oh, I'm talking about the fountain head. Yeah, yeah. I liked the fountain head.

Well, read it again. Okay, I probably should. I read it 20 years ago. I could do an impression of both. High school, baby. All right, before we wrap this up, I have a listener's email. This is from Chris, dear Joel and guests. Do you believe in soulmates?

And to what extent? I went on a date with a guy, and we asked each other this question. I told him, I do not, thinking that there are many. people out there in the world that I can be ultimately happy with. He said he did believe in them. I asked if he really thought his soulmate lived in the fifth largest city in Indiana, the city we both lived in at the time, and he had a mini crisis during our date. We are both gay men, which doesn't help with the statistics of it all. My follow-up question is, is the second date the proper time to bring up this question? What do we think? Wait, didn't he ask the question?

He did ask question. And he wants to bring it up again in the second? No, no, no, he's wondering if he he should have waited until the second. Well, it's hilarious to bring it up and say, I don't believe in it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That I think is the first mistake, Chris. Yeah, I think it's all vibes. Like, you could bring up literally anything with someone that you feel safe with and you feel like you can like take conversational risks. I guess my thing is, is why bring it up at all when you're dating? Because the thing is, is if you don't align on that, like, what will knowing the answer to that question, like, add to this equation? Like, is it additive at all to know how your partner? It will know if anything, it's just shining a light on like, how am I doing right now?

and the question you just asked is slightly desperate. Yeah, I don't think I've ever asked my, my husband this question. You should also open the aperture like soulmates. Like it could be, you could have 20 of them. Yeah. You know, it doesn't have to be one person. You can have friends.

Your girlfriend who you've been friends with for 20 years. She could be a soulmate of sorts. Yeah. You know, your kid. And I don't know. It could be. I think that it's a mistake now that I'm thinking about it because my new philosophy and something I'm trying to imbue in my

children is like, don't be desperate. And that's a, it's a desperate question. Yeah. You know? Because here's the thing, I don't, I've never thought seriously about it. Like, I guess in some ways I think, like, I cannot imagine my life without my husband. I cannot imagine finding someone who aligns with me on all the important, like, fundamental things of our lives. I, I've never met someone prior to him. And I've never, I don't think I'll ever meet someone after him who fits the bill. So like, I guess he's my soulmate. But like, do I think it was preordained?

No? You know? Yeah, I think if I never met Shauna, I would meet someone else. I don't think she'd be as cute, though. No. But once you have kids, too, it's like your kid exists now. Yeah. It's really hard to not believe that it was meant to be.

Yeah. Because you have this, like, beautiful mixture of both of your features. that, like, is spouting wisdom, you know? It's, like, it's a very special. The thing about asking it on a date, though, is it's as if, like, we sat down to do this podcast. And, like, the very first thing that I said was, like, Joel, do you think I could be the best guest on this podcast?

And it's like, so in every moment that I make you laugh later in the podcast, it's like, you're like, oh, this bitch is trying to fucking, I'd rather just be living and enjoying. Don't be desperate. Don't be desperate. And my thing about you guys being gay guys, too, is that this is always been my thing, is that, like, it just makes me appreciate finding my husband a lot more because I'm like in, like, we're point, like, we're, like, like, 6% of the population. And then if you self-select down to major cities who do the kind of extracurricular activities that we do, it's even smaller community of people. So the fact that you find someone who you vibe with and align with, that's, like, the chances of that are so small.

So like hold on to that person whether or not like they are the perfect match no matter what. But you have to be feeling a little bit sun spark. Yeah. So Chris, I would hold back on that question just in general. But Chris, you're my soulmate. You hear that? Call me Chris. Call her.

I'll email Chris your phone number. Please do. What has being a mom specifically changed about you? that you have yourself or someone else has noticed. I haven't gotten my haircut, my haircut in about, I'd say 11 months. Kind of a van of everything. Immediately gained 30 to 40 pounds. And I wasn't even the one that carried the baby.

I was just like, these fries are incredible. Sympathy way. And then another thing, I think I have a deeper, you know, it's like falling in love, you fall in love, and you start going down that journey. and like celebrated on your wedding day and you're like, wow, I never knew that this depth of love was possible

because you're cultivating it with someone and same goes for having a kid. I look at my kids and I could cry. I'm like, they are so fucking beautiful and against all odds they're here. And it's like the real miracle of life. I'm like, oh, this is why people, it's like this, you get so high on it

that you're like, sure, I'll join your church. I mean, who do I have to think? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's it too? Your values really do change and your ambition changes. And if it doesn't, it's kind of fucked up. Maybe something to think, you know. No, I always say to that point, I was never, I never envisioned a future where I would be a parent, ever.

I see you as a parent. Until I met my husband. Because suddenly I was like, oh, wait. Because when you're single, you're conceptualizing, like, do it. You have no conception of what it would be like to do it with a partner, or for that matter, like, the collaboration. I'm like, oh, we would collaborate on something really cool. Yeah. Like, we'd make a really awesome human, just like the two of us together.

So that changed my perspective on it. Totally. And we're going to have kids in, like, five or six years. I love that. Last thing, we want to have two at the same time, boy girl, just knock it out. Only potty train one time, you know, that kind of thing. Well, you're also going to get one surrogate, right?

Well, we're not sure if we're adopting or doing a circus yet. Oh, okay. Because you were adopted. I was adopted, yeah. And adopting is a pretty amazing thing. Right, so we might do one adopted one surrogate. Because I do think he is more interested in seeing sort of himself. In that case, I would like a Korean lady egg just to sort of have like a racial connection to the baby.

Well, in this case, if you're adopting one and having one surrogate, I would implore you to maybe space it out a little bit. It's like one of the toughest things that anybody does. Potty training is not that hard. But not potty training. I'm talking about having two kids at the same time. That's like, you know, if you have, I understand if you're having a surrogate. even if you have a nanny, that's two kids that are looking to you for all of the love they're going to get. When my two-year-old niece comes over, I'm like, I already did this part. I'm done.

It's really hard. So imagine two-year-olds at the same time. That does sound enough. That's why I have one child. And it's like the kettle boiling over it when they wake them. It's overcooked. Yeah. I think if it's, to me, again, like the cost-saving opportunity and the energy-saving opportunity of putting two, if you guys are going to do two eggs into a surrogate and

Both of them, you know, you're so lucky they both fertilized and they both come out at the same time. I totally understand that because it's like a lot of money and time to put into making a baby when you're queer. So I get that. But if it's not, if it's one adoption and one through surrogacy, space it out. Yeah. You're right. Something you think about. The other thing is like our kids are seven years apart, six years apart.

It's the nice thing about it wasn't on purpose. It was like took a long time to make the second one. But in hindsight, for a kid to be the same. the star for a while before the next younger guest star comes in and becomes number one on the call sheet just by virtue of the needs. The needs, yeah. It's nice to solidify your relationship with your original star. Yeah, I guess we were sort of thinking like because they'd be boy girl, I leaves at the start,

we would sort of sidestep some of that because it's like you'd be getting so much attention as the daughter and then you'd be getting so much attention as the son. I don't know. We have time to think about it, honestly. Because I asked these two gay guys, they just had twins. And I was like, door to door, how long did it take you get those babies? And he said, from the first call to delivery, three years. So, like, if the roadmap is six for us, then we got to start thinking about it in three years.

Yeah. Yeah, I would start thinking about it. Last question, I always ask all of my guests to this, or try to anyways. What has made you believe in love this week? You can answer this as sort of metaphysically or as literally as you want, something you saw on TV, something that you experienced with your partner or child, something that you saw a stranger do. Anything like that, if you have. You ask all your guests this? I try to.

That's so sweet. I did Molly at a boat in Mexico last week. Hell yeah. That'll make you believe in love. Yeah, with a dozen gay men. And honestly, Dicks were out and I believe in love, baby. Hell yeah. Were the kids there?

No. My kids were with my mom. That's cool. Your mom went to Mexico with you? No, my mom was in LA. We went to Mexico. You went to Mexico? Our friend Charles's birthday party in San Ponce. That made me believe in They know how to live. See, if I had her life, I'd let my kids watch TV during dinner, too. We're never doing anything fun like that. That's the trade-off. As soon as you put a tablet in your kids' arms, you're going to Mexico with a bunch of gay men on Molly, baby. Believe in love. That's so hard.

I mean, I guess just having our cute family. Yeah. Our long family dinners. Yeah. They're cute. Like today I told my daughter, I was like, you know, I have a show tonight. And she was like, where should we go out to dinner, Dad? You know, and it's so nice to like have someone else who she definitely wants to be with.

It's not like a nanny or a babysitter, you know, a grandparent or, like, you know, a grandparent. or like, you know, it's like, he can like take that. And she's just as fulfilled. And I can go fulfill myself at the comedy store. Thank God for the comedy store. My answer is at the time of recording, I am just freshly back from Fire Island and I stayed in a house of all couples,

four couples, including myself and my husband. And it was really nice because all the couples were so healthy. Oh, nice. And great. And just sort of witnessing other people taking care of their. partners in different ways. We all got the gay flu at the end of the trip, or at least one partner did it. It's just like if you're just getting fucked up and not in sleeping 90 minutes every night for a week, you're going to get some sort of weird flu like sickness. And one of one of the

like partners in each couple got it by the end of the week myself. And so watching other people take care of their partner. And also like all four of us ran the gap, like the full spectrum from like fully monogamous to fully like you know a non monogamous and it was so interesting we all but we all sort of like we're on the same page wavelength wise about like what the strip was and like it was really is really special because like sometimes you go on trips with couples and you're like I don't know yeah it's a little infectious too like bad energy when people start bickering and you're like well I can't find a little and when you go with love it's like that's also I'm actually getting a message from your father that passed right now. Oh, wow. He was coming. He never talks to me.

No, he says, Joel, you were a pretty good stud finder after all. I've never done that. I fucking hate you. I hate you so much. He said, don't do the accent. Hey, listen to our podcast. Yes, I was just about to say, Natasha Legerro, Serena Jalise. Have a wonderful podcast on parenting. If you loved this conversation, which I certainly did, and would like to hear more from these two incredible Listen to Good Enough wherever you listen to podcasts. And hey, maybe I'll be a guest someday. You will definitely be a guest someday. Can you come tomorrow?

Yeah, definitely. I'll be there. Anyways, guys, I'm Joel Kimbooster. This has been Intimis Coordinator. And if you liked what you heard, please give us a rating. Five stars only. I only read the five-star reviews. So if you have a note, we'll leave it in a five-star review, babe.

Until next week, this has been Intubis Coordinator. Thanks for listening. Goodbye. Bye.