Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Not In Front Of Emilio! (w/ Echo Kellum, Chloe Troast, and Molly Kearney)

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

On a new episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians Echo Kellum, Chloe Troast, and Molly Kearney to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Echo earns a Bad Dates Purple Heart when he wasn’t even on a date to begin with, Chloe’s story proves the truism “if they look weird, they are weird,” and Molly meets her date at a local watering hole for serial killers. If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Echo Kellum: @echokellsChloe Troast: @chloe_troastMolly Kearney: @meatbrickmolly Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes.

Smart. Less. Media. A bruise on his hand. That is interesting. I mean, like, there is not literally an injury in this world small enough for me to not talk about. If I received one. Like, if you showed up for a date with me

and I had a cut anywhere on my body, you would be hearing about it, you know? A bruise, anything. So yeah, that is a little weird, but like, I mean, boys get bruises. I'm starting to be a gender essentialist here, but boys be bruised. BAD DATES BAD DATES

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of BAD DATES, brought to you by Smartless Media. I'm Joel Kimbooster, your host, and boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, do I have a great episode for you today, an incredible set of guests, but before we get to the guests, I do have to do what I do at the beginning of every episode and get to you, which is the listenership who's in dire need of assistance, advice, help, and today we have an email from Taylor.

Bad Dates I need your help. I've had three dates with a guy and I'm not sure have an email from Taylor. Bad dates. I need your help. I've had three dates with a guy and I'm not sure where to go from here. The first date he told me he works as a consultant for some generic sounding business something. Fine. I did clock that he paid the bill.

Nice. In cash. Sus. On the second date, we are at a restaurant. He takes a call and proceeds to give yes or no answers for two minutes. He even gives the waiter the wait a minute hand gesture which felt pretty aggro. No apology or explanation for the table calls. On the third date, he's at the brunch place first and he's

got a laptop open. When I walk up, he quickly minimizes the screen then shuts it. And there's a huge bruise on his hand. What the fuck is going on with this guy? Is he cheating on someone? Is he a heroin mule? Or is this just what guys are like? The only reason I'm writing is that I'm really attracted to him and I'm trying to hang on to see if the sex is good. Am I making a mistake? Well, Taylor, here's the deal. The only mistake you have made is waiting this long to fuck this man. Okay? Because as I was reading your email, the only thing I could think of is this person is looking for reasons to flee because they are not into this person physically. And then I was shocked to learn that the only reason you're hanging on still is because you

want to fuck him. And to that I say, listen, this is going to be crazy for me to say on a podcast that will be widely released, but boy, I feel so bad for straight men. I really do because so many of them have been bad. True crime has really done a number on straight men because the thing is, is all of these things separately, I don't think are that suspicious. I don't find them to be that weird. I get shutting your brain off when someone tells you they're a consultant, that is a conversation killer famously. But yeah, I mean, I think you should just ask some questions, but this is what I will say before we get to our guest,

which they're all chomping at the bit to weigh in as well. I think you need to fuck him immediately and then start asking questions because you want to have some You know plausible deniability in the event that he works at Guantanamo Bay. Okay You didn't know you didn't know before you fuck the hot guy You had no way of knowing except for asking the questions, which you probably should start asking after you listen to this podcast But I'm not the only person with advice for you, Taylor. Somebody in my exquisite panel of guests

might have some differing advice, so let's get to them. First up, we've got Echo Callum, actor and comedian from shows like Arrow, Grand Cru, and Rick and Morty. Hello, Echo, how are you doing today? I'm doing great, thank you so much for having me on. Thank you so much for being here. Next we have a delight, a true delight, Chloe Trost, actor, comedian.

Welcome Chloe. Hi y'all. And this one, we go way back. Oh boy. I love this person so much. Molly Kearney, a comedian and actor. Welcome Molly. Bonjour.

It's great to be here, Joel. Thanks for having me. It is so, Molly and Chloe, I just saw you, I saw you last winter at SNL, and Molly, it was so nice to see you and Sarah Squirm, Sarah Sherman, because the last time I had seen both of you in a room together, you were both opening for me in Chicago when I was headlining- Yes, at the Den. At the Den Theater, and then it was so great to then be humiliated by you

five years later as you have both of my openers wildly more successful than I am now. Absolutely not. And it's really fun. It's really fun to see how life really, you know, smash you across the face like that. Anyways, really happy for your success, Molly. You've come so far.

Guys, what do you think about this situation with Taylor and the consultant slash maybe spy slash maybe human trafficker, I don't know. What do you think Taylor should do? I like cash. That stood out to me. You know what? That I do get why they would think it was suspect.

Cause like we are moving towards a cashless society and it is, you do have to wonder sometimes when someone has enough cash to pay the bill, to pay the bill at a restaurant. That's a lot of cash. I've been doing that. I think the important part though, the important part is what type of bills were used to pay the cash? So if you're talking like 75 $1 bills, I have a lot of questions. I'm like, what's going on? You know what I'm saying? If it's just a whole bunch of fives, if it's just a slick hundred, you're like, oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah. That's pretty chill. There's definitely a difference. If it's like a fistful of Sacagawea coins, okay, then there's definitely, that's some questionable behavior for sure. Potential flags, yeah. And those are worth more than what they say they are,

you know what I mean? Yeah. I don't like the way that he spoke to the waiter. Yeah, the wait a second, that is tough. That's borderline though. I will say like, cause how else do you communicate that? How else? Wait a second.

I'd go, you incredible service worker. Can you give us a couple of minutes? Cause I know this isn't your dream. I don't know. I just, I think I have a, I have a big heart. You know, you, you fully go down that path. You go, what do you actually want to do? What is this paying the bills for you?

I'm not talking about the data. I'm talking about this server right here. Yeah, exactly. What are they going through? I don't know, Boyz II Have Bruises, I would quickly minimize my screen at any time. I literally think that, unfortunately, this person has seen way too many Netflix documentaries

about how scary men can be, and that's real And that's fair. But I don't think that she has a case necessarily. But shouldn't he, knowing the world we live in, knowing that Netflix documentaries exist, comment on the bruises or things like that? Boys do get bruised. I can attest to that. But I do remember, like in those crime docs, the hand

bruises are always the things they lie about. And they talk about like, like they said, there was something I was watching where someone said that they fell. And some like scientist person was like, only an idiot would fall onto their fists. Like you can't fall, you can't, like nobody, like in their instincts, with their instincts that you have, fall onto knuckles. Like unless maybe you have like really awesome nails that you just got, you could do that. Or if you're used to doing those crazy push ups in the gym where you push off.

Yeah. Yeah. For those people. I think the nail thing is the only thing I could see. Like I bet at BravoCon, there's a lot of ladies falling on their their knuckles. I fell in the park yesterday. Yeah. I didn't. OK, well, Taylor, I say say fuck him and then ask the questions. And from from then on, you know.

Oh, yeah, I'm still in agreement. She should fuck them. I'm just these are just she should. That's absolutely. Yeah. None of these are red flags and not like they do not amount to one single red flag yet. OK, I get that there it's sort of bubbling under the surface. But I think you're safe to fuck him. And then I think you ask the question, you flip over. I'm just making this up. You flip over to face him post-cold. We're going to start off with Echo. Echo, now you are, I want to say, just to set some context here, you are in a relationship currently.

No, I'm not actually. No, you're not. I'm not currently in a relationship. Okay. But you have been in relationships. I have been. I have absolutely been. Great, Hibinjol. Okay. So you're well-versed. You've been around the block. You have been in relationships. I have been, I have absolutely been. Great, Pippin Joel. Okay, so you're well-versed. You've been around the block, you have experience.

I bet you have just a host of bad date stories, and I cannot wait to hear what you brought for the class today. So this date was the summer of 2021. I had just moved to New York, and I was playing in New York. Ooh, post-pandemic. So you're feeling- This is like right when the vaccines hit, I was there baby. Oh, it was the summer of 2021. I had just moved to New York and I was playing in New York. Oh, post pandemic. So you're feeling.

So this is like right when the vaccines hit and everyone's taking the vaccine and New York was such a special place at this time. Summer of love. I was there baby. Oh, it was the summer of love. Oh, it was incredible. They were still doing takeaway cocktails.

You could go to the bar and get to go cocktails. St. Mark's at night was like incredible. So much fun. And I was just doing street photography in New York, just having fun with that. But anyway, so I was swiping, just moved there. And the girl wanted- Charming the water, fresh face on the grid. Fresh face on the grid, fresh face on the grid.

And there's this girl, I'm on Raya,ipe, and this girl has like just looking for friends. It sounds like, yeah, I'm totally down to like find friends too. Like, you know, I just, like one of me people, you know. So we match and then we talk and then she recommends like four places we should check out. Like let's get dinner, you know, totally down to be friends, whatever.

And so I go- Wait, I have to stop you, Echo. Is this a common thing for straight people? Chloe, you're straight, right? Yes. Yes. Yes. The pain of that yes, yes. Do you often, are you guys looking for friends

on Bumble and Hinge and Raja? What the hell is this shit? I mean, you know, I've been close to it. Uh-huh. Maybe if I move somewhere new, like you said, you know, I've been close to it. Maybe if I move somewhere new, like you said, you know, I mean, that's a great place to start. I feel like, you know, straight people, we've got a lot of problems with maybe keeping friends close

because there's not enough vulnerability there, maybe. So always finding new, sort of revolving door. Adding that to the Wikipedia page for straight people, not enough vulnerability. So Echo, you've made this new friend on Raya. Yes. She suggested a few places. Yeah, so I go to each place to suss out the vibe,

just to see which one, I'll tell her, I'll decide. Wait, you went and you tried out all the places first? Well, just to go to see the vibe, I didn't eat there, I wanted to be like, because I was just her, I'll decide. Wait, you went and you tried out all the places first? Well, just to go to see the vibe. I didn't eat there. I wanted to be like, because I was just like, oh, we need to go to these different neighborhoods. I need to just explore. And then I got to this one spot called Emilio's Botali.

It's I think by the REI on the Lower East Side. And I go to the guy at the door and I'm like, do you have to get reservations here? And he's like, for who? I was like, for me, I was coming tomorrow with somebody. He's like, for you, come on through. You know, he had like the swagger and I was like, okay, yeah, I was like, cool. I was like, well, what's your name?

Who do I tell on, send me? He's like, I'm Emilio. I was like, oh, snap, Stu, the whole place. Like, oh, snap, you know? So I was like, cool, cool, cool. So I texted the girl, I'm like, hey, Emilio's tomorrow seven, I'll see you there. You know, next day I go visit my at seven, I'll see you there.

Next day I go visit my friend on Hastings and the Hudson, and then I'm coming back on the train, and I text the girl, like, hey, I'll be five minutes late, but I'll see you soon, no big deal. But she didn't text me back, but I was like, we already set the date, no big deal. So I get there, and Emilio's there, and I'm like, yo, what's up?

He's like, oh, what's up, friend? He's like, come here, right here, a little seat for you. And I find out this is like Rihanna's favorite pasta spot in New York. It's like so many pictures of so many celebrities. And like it was like really cool. He's got like taking the liking to me. So, you know, I'm there for like five minutes, just chilling. And then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, then 15 minutes, nothing.

Not in front of Emilio. Oh man, not in front of Emilio. Not in front of the pictures of Rihanna. Emilio's like, I'm so sorry dude. Emilio's so bummed because he thought he made a cool new friend and now he's like, who's this loser? This guy's son.

He could sit up. I should not have given a table to a loser. No. Not like this. Yeah, he was not happy with me. But I text her and I'm like, well, it looks like I'm being stood up, which is all good. And I was like, you know, we were just mean to be friends. So it's like no big deal, you know, but I hope you're okay, number one. But if not, you know, all good. Hope you have a good life, you know, whatever.

Very good. So I order food. Wow, that is such a classy way to handle that. Yeah, I was like, yeah. I would have gotten scorched. Yeah, no, I mean- Finding their employer and being like, this person is actually like a criminal.

They're a bad person. You should know about your employee, what they do to people. They're not punctual. Yeah, and they do to people. And they don't communicate when they're not punctual. That's even worse. Communication. But so you know, I went up eating alone and then you know,

you stayed. I stayed. I'm gonna order food. I'm gonna order food. I'm gonna eat. I'm trying to space out like whatever you know. So later that night, I'm on the train, just like a couple hours later, and she starts calling me. And I'm like, nah, I'm ignoring this. Not straight to call. Straight to call.

I mean, I'm like, nope, you've had enough of my energy. You stood me up. No, I'm good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then she texts me, oh my God, my phone got stolen. Like, I'm calling you from my computer. I'm so sorry, you know. And I was like, oh, okay, oh, oh, okay. The phone got stolen, okay. You know, but, you know, I was like, I'm calling you from my computer, I'm so sorry, you know, and I was like, oh, okay, oh, oh, okay, I'm fine with that, so okay, you know, but I was like, I'm still not gonna respond

right now, like, I just need space, you know? So like, I wind up going back home, the next day she texts me again, hey, I feel really bad, this isn't my character, I'm like, not this person, please come, let's set up something, I'll meet you wherever, please, I really wanna make it up to you. This is so much energy for A, someone you don't know,

and B, someone who just wants to be friends. Yeah. It's true. I know. It's true, it's true. So then, I ignore that, but then she hits me up on Raya again, like, please give me a shot. Oh my gosh. So I'm like, okay, okay, that's fine, stuff happens.

Like, what are you doing? This is like full horseshoe theory of like she's become so contrite that it's actually now offensive in its own right. I'm like, I don't want a friend anymore. Yeah, I mean, this is true, but it was just like when you're brand new in a place, you're just like, oh, okay.

So I was like, okay, fine. She seemed genuine at least. I was like, at least she's put in effort, like, you know. So I was like, we can meet somewhere Thursday. And she's like, let's meet at like El Condor or whatever. It wasn't El Condor, but it's this little spot. I forgot exactly what it's called. So I get there that Thursday and it's like, I wait five minutes, she doesn't come.

And then I check my phone and I was like, oh wait, I'm early I was like, oh fuck. I'm early. I'm early Okay, so then I Go to the place and like they have like it's like it's kind of looks like I like a deli kind of bar Like there's something like that whatever and then she shows up and I'm like, hey, she's like, what's up, you know And she has her phone then she like kind of puts it up really quick. I was like, huh? Okay. Hey, what's up? And she has her phone, then she kind of puts it up really quick, and I was like, oh, okay, hey, what's up? But I kind of clocked that. And then she's like, all right, let's go in.

And we walk up to the same spot, there's a little deli spot, and they're like, hey, what's up, girl? And then they open up a secret door that leads to a completely different, cool restaurant. Okay, love that. You know, if there's one thing straight people like, I know we're making a lot of generalizations here today,

but it is a speakeasy. Yes. You guys love speakeasies. We love it. I love a surprise like that. You know the one that's like a bodega? Is that the one that you're talking about? No.

There's one like that in LA actually, that's like a clothing store. Oh, I'm thinking about that. It's a clothing store that turns into a bodega that turns into a bar? No, the facade is a bodega and then you go into the bodega and in the back of the bodega there's like a fancy clothing store. And you know what, I'm sorry, I said deli, I meant like a diner. It was like a diner vibe.

I'm like picturing falafel in a case and you're like, I'll have a martini. But then the downstairs restaurant is like a different restaurant, cool vibe. So, you know, we get downstairs and we're like chatting and then I kind of noticed that she's like slurring a couple of her words and everything like that. So I was like, are you, I was like, did you have a drink before we came?

You know, she's like, yeah, I had a martini, like whatever. And I was like, oh, okay, yeah, no big deal, whatever. So we just like keep talking. And then the rest of this conversation goes between these two extremes. The first one, she was drinking more. And the first one was like, my brother died and like, I gotta be the strong one

and my family doesn't want, you know, and I'm just trying to be like- That trauma dumping. And I was like, oh my God, you know, and my brother passed away years ago. So I was like, you know, I'm sorry, you know, my brother passed away too. And she completely ignored it, I'm sorry, my brother passed away too, and she completely ignored it, didn't acknowledge it.

Not interested in connecting. Not interested in connecting. And she's like, and you know, it's just 10 years ago, blah, blah, blah. And then the other extreme was, yeah, fuck Kevin Durant. Yeah, this is the number. Yeah. And his mighty god was trying to stop me,

and I was like, nah, I'm getting that. And I was like, okay. But to preface all this. Kevin Durant is a crazy fuck. It's a crazy fuck, but to preface all this- He's known as a spider. He's a spider. To preface all this, when we first get together,

we first go down the spot, she's like, there's this dope party tonight. You have to go, you're gonna meet so many people, it's later, but it's gonna be awesome. And I'm like, okay, hell, yes, that's something like this. So I give people, I'm thinking in my brain, this is why I give people second chances, like this is what I do, you're gonna meet so many people, it's later, but it's gonna be awesome. And I'm like, okay, hell yes. That's something like this is why I give people, I'm thinking in my brain, this is why I give people second chances,

like this is what I do, you know? So. I have to say you have conducted yourself in this, like a lot of times people bring in stories where they are kind of the villains, or like, you know, like, and like, I have to say, like, you didn't think you were gonna get laid. You're giving this person a second chance.

You've given them so much grace. You're putting up with their insane stories. I am granting you Echo Kellam a bad dates purple heart. Okay, for your service. Yay, good for you. Congratulations Echo. Don't cry. Because normally literally almost all the stories

we can find the way that you, the person telling the story was also the villain of their own story. I gotta say, we haven't finished it yet. You might get the Purple Heart revoked, but. You can get it taken away as fast as you gotta give in to. I love that you get it in the middle of the activity. I love that.

It's like, hey, continue to keep earning it. Continue to keep sacrificing. It's what they do in the military too. Exactly, exactly. They give it to you in the middle of the battleground. Right. And this can be taken. And just to clarify,

she brought out her phone that was stolen, right? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, that was initially, so I was like, maybe she got a new phone, but the way she put it up, I was definitely like, that was initially, so I was like, maybe she got a new phone, but the way she put it up, I was definitely like, that was interesting. Cause she put it up, she just put it up like a little bit, hey, hey, what's up?

And I was like, okay. So we're isolated between these two things, and then we finished dinner, she's returned a drink, it was weird, but we finished dinner. Who paid? Did you split? I did, obviously. Of course you did.

I did, cause I was, of course you did. I did. Wait, you paid to... And this is a friend thing. You go Dutch when it's friends. No, you're right. True. And did you pay for the martini she had before you got there?

I did not pay for the martini. Well, he paid for it in other ways. Let's say that. I paid in other ways. I definitely did. So she's like, okay, well, we still have like an hour to this party, so let's just go to like 19 Cleveland. We go to 19 Cleveland, like having hour to this party. So let's just go to like 19 Cleveland We go to 19 Cleveland like having drinks in 19 Cleveland and then she's like, you know, we're just kind of chatting and

She's like half these restrooms. So she goes she gets up to go to the restroom, but she comes and kisses me on my neck and I'm like, oh You know so I Respond odd choice even if you were on yeah like So I respond. Odd choice even if you were on it. Yeah, like that's like one of the most intimate forms of affection you could ever do. Like if my boyfriend kisses me on the neck, like when I'm not expecting it, I like wince.

I was just gonna say that. No, I'm sorry. Like the neck is practically genitalia, okay? It has the same amount of sensors as the tip of a cock. Yeah, it is a very sensory. And that's on God. That's on God. But that's a choice.

That's like, you're like, I am heightening things, right? So things are getting real. This is second beat, you know, but so she, so, you know, she kissed me on the neck and I respond, cause I didn't expect it, cause I'm like just friends, you know. Who would? And I respond, I go, oh, okay.

Like that, you know? And then she responds, hey, I don't like that gay shit. Whoa. And I'm like, what? I'm like, are you serious right now? And she grabs her purse off the counter, and she storms off for four steps, stops, turns around, softens, walks back to the counter,

puts her purse on the counter, and goes to the restroom. And I'm like, wait, what the? And my brain, I'm like, the people next to me, like she about to storm off. I was like, I think she was. And I'm just like, oh my God. Which by the way is a full, you can't fire me, I quit situation for you where it's like,

no, you're storming away, no, I'm storming away. Yes, yes. So, so. What did she mean by gay? Like. I think storming away. Yes, yes. So, so. What did she mean by gay? I think just the way I said, oh, okay. She just felt like it was a hot bitch. And this is the problem, because gay culture has stolen so much from black culture

that it, in fact. Start with this. It's like people get confused about where certain things started. And so what she read as gay, it's just, I actually think it's just because we've stolen so much from your community. And that's where she got confused.

So yeah, so she should have said, hey, cut out with the black shit. She should have said that. But first of all, she completely misinterpreted what I was doing or where I was from. So that was a problem. But no, so she goes to the restroom and I'm like, what the hell?

And she comes out like nothing happened. Hey, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, hey. And I'm like, okay. Like, I'm just a little bit like, shell shocked a little bit. Like, was that a joke to her? What?

Like, I'm just like a little confused. And then, you know, so they like, we get like waters or whatever. And then she's like, all right, well the party's in like 30 minutes. And I'm like, okay. And so we like kind of like we're walking out and then you're still going, you're going to a third location

with this one. You're just locked into this is absolutely insane. Honestly, just really want to get to this party at this point. And then just like, I was like, I'm going to meet people here and yeah,'m gonna party. That's fair. I also think, Echo, you also have comedian brain

where you're like, well, I have to get to the end of this. I have to get to the end of this. I did, I did. In New York, I always have the funniest interesting dates. So it was like hard for me to even pick which dating story, but this one was so epic. So- And it's a safe exit. If you want to get to the party, you can escape. So that really could have been, but this one was so epic. So- And it's a safe exit, if once you get to the party,

you can escape. Yeah, I mean, yes. So that really could have been, but I really want this party. So we go to this next spot and she's like, all right, well the party's in like 30 minutes, let's go. And she's like, again, she's acting like this

had never happened, she's like laughing again, and you know, whatever. And so we go to this next spot and she's like, all right, let's just get a beer here and then we can go to the party. So we go there, order a drink, she's like, I'm gonna use the restroom again. She goes to the restroom.

She goes to use the restroom again. I'm sitting next to these two ladies and we ordered like the same like IPA or whatever. And so we're like talking about it. Like, you know, like, oh, I like the hot people, blah, blah. And then I look out the corner of my eye and the girl is just staring daggers at me. Oh my God.

From the other edge of the bar. She's just like, and I'm like, what? How dare you make other friends? I was like, come here. I was like, why are you standing over there? Come here. You know, then she comes over and she's like, who the fuck are those girls?

Dummy. And I'm like, what? And she's like, you got a beautiful woman in front of you. You talking to some other girls, dumb ass. I was like, yo, chill. What are you doing? And so then she like goes up to the girls. She's saying this in front of your other new friends.

But she's not being super loud with this, you know what I'm saying? But she's being normal volume. She's not screaming it, though. Dude. But she's like, you doing dummy? You got a beautiful woman in front of you, dumbass. And then she goes to them, and she's like,

who are y'all, blah, blah, blah. And then she starts laughing. She did that other thing where she kind of came over attitude, then start laughing and fun, fun, fun. Performance for you. Performance, right. Then she comes back to me, dumbass. And I'm like, no, stop going from me, dumbass.

Why you doing this to me, dude? That's wild. And then so she kind of gets a phone call, whatever, and then the bartender comes in like, hey man, everything okay? I'm like, yes, man, everything okay? The girls are like, help me. Is your girlfriend upset? I was like, I just met her okay? I'm like, yes man, everything okay? The girls are like, help me. Is your girlfriend upset?

I was like, I just met her tonight. I was like, she's talking to her girlfriend. Bartender's like, hey man, here's a beer on the house. Like, you know, good luck. You know, I'm like, okay, thanks man. So then she's finally like, all right, come on dummy, we gotta go to the party. I'm like, hey, oh my God.

What's the use of dumb so much? I know it's so juvenile, right? It's so silly. So I'm just like, okay, just give me this party. You know,'s so juvenile, right? So silly. So I'm just like, okay, just give me this party, you know. And so we leave this spot. And she's like walking a little ahead of me. And she's like, hurry up, dumbass. And I was like, Hey, you know what? I was like, Look, seriously, you're gonna stop

calling me out of my name. You've been wilding out this whole date. I'm not gonna take that anymore. Like it's seriously done. So if we're gonna walk through this thing together, you're gonna have some respect for me as a human being. You're gonna treat me like I deserve to be treated, like I'm treating you. So we're done with that crap. And then she looks at me and then she's like,

shut up, dumb ass. Oh! And I was like, I'll say, fuck you. She says, fuck you. up dumbass. And I was like, I'll say fuck you. She says fuck you. And then we both storm off on our own ways. And that was. How the party never got to the party. You did even get to go to the party.

Wow. OK, I gotta say the purple starts still stands. And it's partially because like you need a win. Like this was actually it got sort of sad at the end. Because also like here's the thing is that like at this point, obviously you have done nothing in a normal person's eyes wrong. Yeah. But in her, from her point of view, you're a dumb,

disrespectful gay guy. That's redundant. That's redundant. Okay, Echo, thank you so much for sharing your trauma. I have a feeling we're about to hear a little bit more trauma from this next story from the one and only Chloe Trust. -♪ Piano playing, this is fantastic, I don't want to look anymore, I don't want to see anymore. Are you like very like, get me to the couch, we are watching a show? Yeah, get me to the church on time.

Come on. I like it. But yes, I'm definitely a homebody. That's happened in my life. I didn't think I'd be like that, but like, I just always have been. Nobody does, babe. I know, it's like, it's honestly like, I feel embarrassed about that, like in myself.

Like I kind of wish I was like, you know. A big whore? Yeah, big fat whore. Like I just, yeah, but I, I did have, I guess it was summer of 2023. So I was just, you know, in terms of summer of love, then we moved on to summer of relationship for a lot of people. I was moving out of a relationship

and I was in this period of like between one relationship that really like sent me. Like I was like wild, I was wild. Sent you where exactly? The mental hospital, the moon, where are we going? The mental hospital on the moon. The mental hospital, okay. On the mental hospital on the moon.

I was really second guessing everything about myself and I had no idea really where to start because I had been in that relationship for a bunch of years. So I went into, you know, went into the hinge sphere, which I, a lot of people are probably a lot more seasoned than me. So, my issue with hinge always was I'm kind of like, I would say a weird person and I like weirdos. Like I like odd people. Yeah.

But I had- I've had a lot of weirdos. You've been the hot girlfriend for a lot of weird looking men. Well, I mean, this is so true in a lot of ways because I had some really weird, I was like debating some like even high school stories of like the weird guys from high school that like had these crazy, like one time this guy tried

to ask me to the stations of the cross as a date. I didn't even like, it was so weird to me because he like cornered me. I remember this really well. But he like cornered me in the hallway. Yeah. And he was like, and I had said no to the date because I was like, that's odd. And he was like, you know, I was going to ask you to stations at the cross. And I was like, oh, like, that's okay.

And he was like, well, we were all gonna go around and say something that we liked about each other. And I was gonna get you to sing and get like everybody to hear you sing. And then with like a note card of what we liked about everyone, I was gonna ask you to prom. It was like those kinds of guys were definitely like in my corner. Yeah. That's not the... I thought you were just talking, I thought we were talking like typical improv guy weird, but that's like, that's like has a podcast now under the Jordan Peterson umbrella. I couldn't really understand if someone was like, weird, ironic on hinge or like weird, weird. Like, you know, when someone like posts kind of a blurry picture and it's either like dime square chic or they're like a school shooter?

Yeah. I like, I had a really hard time navigating on that app, like what was cool or if someone was being cool or if someone was being weird. No, absolutely. And that's like, that is the classic problem of Brooklyn in general. Yes. And that was my pool. That was where I was looking. So it was like, it was,

I had seen this guy on the app and he looked like kind of weird and interesting. So I show up at the state, he's late, shows up on a bike, totally fine and normal. But then he takes his helmet off and then he puts on like a newsboy cap. Okay. No, no. And like I would I'm not kidding you like a cold sweat went down my back.

Oh my God. I was like, Oh no, like I'm at least gonna have to give this 30 minutes. And that already made me scared. The power that the wrong hat can have on a woman is really, it cannot be overstated. It seriously was so scary to think that someone was like, unironically putting on a newsboy cap. It's really hard to like, guys, unless you are a very specific vibe, you cannot do anything but a baseball cap. You just can't.

You can't be wearing these Kangol hats or the cowboy hats. Or... Bandanas. Yeah, it's just like, if it's not a fucking... In the realm of a baseball cap, like, don't try it. Unless you really... You really have to have, like, the biggest... Something special.

Yeah. Cowboy hats. Yeah. Cowboy. Okay, that's like probably the next level of normal hat. But even still, you have to be able, like not everyone can pull off a cowboy hat. No, it has to be a part of your personality.

Like if you came in with a cowboy hat and like had some dirt on your hands, I'd be like, that's fine. And I'd say yeehaw. Do not come up to me with your chromatica pink cowboy hat, okay? I don't want to see it. I don't want to see that.

Quoting someone else, I'm not into that gay, no, I'm kidding. No, I actually would love- You know her? It was me. No, so I truly like, I was like, all right, this is an odd hat, but I'll give whatever, I'll give it a chance. And he was like, sorry, I was late, I was surfing. Okay.

And I was like, we're in New York, like where are you surfing? Like what? I mean, I will say this, I went to the beach more in New York than I do now that I live in LA. Really? Yeah.

Okay, okay. So maybe that's- Reese Beach, shut out. Okay. Where? Oh, Reese. Reese, yeah. Yeah.

So, okay, so maybe, you know, he's taking like a long haul ride over to the beach, surfing, came back, whatever. And I was like, okay, so we have like kind of just like a super awkward conversation where I'm sensing like the newsboy cap is becoming more obvious by the second, like that this guy kind of doesn't have social skills. Somehow it's getting bigger every time you look back at him.

It's like larger and larger on his head. Yeah, he also all of a sudden starts talking in like a 1930s like accent and he's like, it's a dime, it's a nickel. But yeah, so that element of it was like, I guess it was kind of awkward, but he was like cute in the same way that I was like, I'm trying to do this, I'm trying to get out there.

This person's hot. I won't really care about it, which honestly was like a huge green flag for me, which was like, I'm not falling hard for this person, serial monogamous. So this could work as something. And so I was like, all right, then he was like, do you want to play pool? And I was like, okay. And mind you, like, he hasn't had anything to drink, but he's not like sober or anything. And he's like, I really want to, I want, I want to play pool with you. I was like, okay.

And like he beat, he then proceeds to play, like he was hustling me. The most perfect game of pool and like just like one. And then he was like, do you want to play again? And I was like, OK, like, OK, like, you know, I guess so. This is the most he's been like active within the date. So I was like, all right, like let's play pool, whatever. He proceeds to beat me like two more times

and then tells me that he's in like a pool league. And I was like, I don't know if this was like supposed to like get me all horned up or something, but it really left me like feeling bad about myself. You should have just like brought him over to an open mic and been like, hey, you want to put your name in? Yeah, but then I go up and bomb. There isn't an equivalent for me where I'm like, I know I'm going to slay this.

I don't have a skill like that. I can't juggle. I'm not going to play cards really well. That's a really tough spot too. Because the thing is, I get the impulse to want to show off and impress you, but when showing off and impressing you also means humiliating you. It's a weird, what's the balance that you're weighing in your answer? It's like one step forward, two steps back.

Exactly. It's a guy, I don't know, it's like this like man thing that I haven't figured out, I don't know. And we never will. I don't believe in it. I don't believe in it. That sure as hell won't. But anyway, I'm like, he's like,

do you wanna go to my apartment? I'm saying, I'm being a yes woman tonight. He invites you over? Whooping your ass in pool. I'm like, I'm just going to do it. Like whatever. I mean, Echo put up with way worse and he wasn't even going to go to someone's apartment. I know there was no there's like light at the end of the tunnel sometimes.

So I was like, okay, you know, we walk over to his apartment and then he goes, do you wanna see my van? Oh no. And I was like. That is an immediate abort for you. I would say. I know, this is something you never do, right?

You're told as a kid, never go to the van. Yeah. The van is an omnipresent thing, especially in the panic of the 2000s. Never approach the van. Never approach a van. And it's funny because both in Taylor's email up top and your story, it's like, we're like,

oh, he wore a weird hat, ick, you know, gross. But no, this one is actually real. This is fake. Yeah, yeah. I know, it's like textbook, like run. Yeah. But you know, in that moment, it's hard to say no to a van. I actually understand why a kid would go to a van

because in a moment, it's actually kind of hard to say no to a van. I don't know what it is, like something comes over you. I think that's a you thing more so than a universal experience, but continue. No, and I'll evaluate that on my own time. But so we go into the van. What kind of van was it?

Was it nice? Was it old as shit? It was pretty beat up. And there's like, it's like a divided, it's like divided a little bit. So like the front where you drive has like, like a plywood thing or something. And then you like get into it through like

the sliding door back, like, you know, I don't know what that like a Sprinter van or whatever. Okay. And so then we go into the back and he like had built a plywood like kind of camp situation in there where there's like a bed and There's a kitchenette thing. I don't like the direction of this is heading but keep going so we're in his apartment No, we're inside That is his apartment. No, we're in his van. That is his apartment.

Oh, you're telling me that. Yes, I mean, it very well, like he could have been like, this is my house. But he was like, yeah, like I use this for camping or whatever. And he like shows me like the bucket that he uses for what you can probably imagine. No, Chloe.

This guy is a real romantic. Chloe. And then all of a sudden, we're in there for like five minutes and you can't really see that we're in the van because the front driving part is kind of blocked off. plywood, yeah. Yeah, and then all of a sudden we hear

the door handle go like, someone is trying to break into the van that we're in. They're banging, they're trying to break in. And all of a sudden I'm like, oh no, like I'm going to get robbed in a van I didn't even want to be in. Like, I couldn't care less about the van, like take the van. Like, I didn't even want to be in here. Like, honestly, it could have been like a relief of like, we found the girl in the van.

Like we found her or something. Like, I don't know, maybe someone was like worried about me or something. But so then it leaves us to like need to kind of hang out in the van for like 20 minutes because we don't want someone to like kill us outside. Yeah. Where'd you sit on the bucket? Yeah, I took a quick load off. You're like, I have to tinkle.

Can I tinkle in your bucket? I need to tinkle in your bucket. So we hang in there for a little bit and he like, I guess tells me about camping or whatever. And then finally we're like, let's get out. And he does in fact have an apartment and we go inside. Wow. Twist, twist. I know. It's like rich much. And so then we go into the apartment and he's, then he like, we're sitting on his couch and we have to be really quiet because his like roommate has to wake up early for work and he's like, okay, let's watch TV and he puts on Seinfeld and then he's like, do you like Seinfeld?

Oh boy. And I was like, it was almost like he was asking me that as if it was like currently airing. Like it was like a television program that was like topical in some fashion. But I was very much like, I think liking Seinfeld is like not even an opinion. It's more like a universal thought. Like it's like a fact at this point. So I was like, yeah, I guess so. He proceeds to like belly laugh at Seinfeld,

which is so weird to me. Like it's definitely like a smirker kind of show where you're like, and he's like laughing, laughing, laughing. And then basically the little bow that ties up this situation is that then he turns to me halfway through the episode and he says the words, um, hey, can I get a smooch? No. And then I smooch him.

And then I do. You did it. Wow. I was worried. I like, I don't know why, but I did. And Trossy, you got in a van van saw a pea bucket and a poop bucket and then Got robbed and then smushed this man. Okay Truly I just like scariest part maybe truly there's like

barely much of an ending besides that In the sense that I just I absolutely paid so much top dollar when I have none like 50 bucks to get in an uber and just go home like quite immediately but the smooch thing was just like I really have thought about that a lot like if I want to like shiver at like something that I've done before because I feel so cringe about giving someone a smooch when they asked for one. Yeah, no, it's weird because on paper,

he's done everything right. He's asked for consent. He's like, he's kind of a gentleman. He's done nothing wrong on paper. He protected you from being robbed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes it's just the unexplainable. It's the things you can't put on paper that are rough.

But Chloe, what is your takeaway? What's your red flag takeaway? What's the rule that you have put in place because of this experience moving forward, if you could sum it up for us? Yeah. If they look weird, they are weird. And finally, finally, last but certainly not least, honey, we got a story from the one of the only Molly Kearney. Molly, what's happening? Again, set the scene for us in a relationship currently. Been in relationships. Currently in relationships. Just hit three years a couple days ago.

Going great. Love that. I actually lived with my current girlfriend. We were just friends while this happened. This is in 2016. Oh wow, great year. Back in Chicago, okay? I'm from Cleveland, so the Guardians are in the World Series with the Cubs, okay?

Huge. The Cleveland Cavaliers just won the championship. Remember. I am walking tall and I'm like, you know what, I'm going to get on these dating apps and see what I can do. And the same thoughts went through my head with what Chloe said, just like, are these and especially in the gay, lesbian world, I'm like, you don't know if this person's going to be like super butch once you meet him or really femme. And I'm like more, I like more femme people.

And that's just my personal type. But I know that if I meet a fellow butch, I'm like, well, I'll shake your hand and I'll go on a walk. But this isn't happening. And you can really, you know, it's those pictures, they're just, they can be very deceiving. So, you know, I don't know. And-

It's interesting, because you do often see in the gay community, you'll see two femme lesbians, femme butch lesbian. Rarely do you see the rare two butch. Butch, butch. And it's sort of reversed in the gay community. You see a lot of masque femme gay guy couples. You see a lot of masque masque gay couples.

Yeah. Not a lot of femme, femme couples out there. I agree. We should write a book. And it is like finding like a four leaf clover. You're like, good for you. I never thought I'd find you. Exactly. But you know, that'll never happen for me.

And I always swiped right on Molly's because I thought that would be funny. And that's good. That's an incredible name for your memoir, by the way. Swipe right on Molly. So that's so like 2016, like verbiage to swipe right on Molly. Yeah. Right. Wow. So I matched with this girl and I'm like, okay, she seems cool, we'll see what happens. And it was the only time ever I've ever met a date from an online app in real life,

and the last time I ever did. I just think I'm more of like, I like meeting people in person, friend of a friend. Like I like that energy that is face to face. No matter how many success stories there are from the apps, I think it's always gonna feel a little bit better. Yeah, and no shame to anybody that rips for, like I've known many people that they're married now, you know?

I think it's much more, I think it's probably like a pretty even split almost now, these days, of people in our generation. Yeah, I agree, I agree. So I'm like, where would you like to go? Like, what's your vibe? Do you wanna get like food? Do you wanna get drinks? She's like, where would you like to go? Like, what's your vibe? Do you want to get like food? Do you want to get drinks?

She's like, let's get drinks. And I'm like, OK, do you want to go like do like, like cocktails? Are you a beer person? She's like, I want to go to a dive bar. And I'm like, hell, perfect. I got the perfect one. And at that point, I've only lived in Chicago for like a year or two. So not even a year or two, so, or not even a

year. So I'm like, I know one bar and one dive bar only because there's this shitty ass open mic that happens at it. No, you did not take me to Poles. No, I did not. I swear to God, I wouldn't do that. That's like chasing away somebody, you know? So I was like, okay, I know that there's not an open mic this day.

So let's go to this bar called L&L Tavern. It's right by the annoyance. It's in between like the annoyance and the laugh factory. Okay. And it's the shittiest place on the whole planet. But in like, as in a complimentary way. And she's like, okay, let's meet right after I work till five. Let's meet at 530.

I'm like, okay. It's like, probably it's like, okay, let's meet right after I work till five. Let's meet at 530. I'm like, okay. It's like, probably, it's like peak summertime. And I am like, okay, what do you like, I was texting her, I'm like, I can't find you. Like I'm here. I was just like letting you know I'm here. Whatever. Do you want something to drink? She's like, oh, I'm almost there.

You can't miss me. I have my, you can't miss me. I have my camper bag with me. You know those like huge like they're like I'm going Europe and I'm like, or I'm like, like a 300 mile trail like for the next two months. Like she it was like and she's shorter. So it was like over her head and I was like, she came into the bar it's this was my bad, but it was 95 degrees out. I remember in Chicago This bar is sold that has no AC and it's just like it was so I don't even know what I was thinking because like You can take go to cute dive bar where they still have like cheap drinks But it's like at least looks nice the seats have have fuzz coming out of it, like the leather seats.

There's just like, you know, and you're just sitting on these things. I'm upper lip sweat. I'm like, let me help you take this off. I literally pull it off and she's like, whoa! I get the camper bag and we put it on the ground. And then it was me and like two, me, her, the bartender who's like an older woman, and like three alcoholics who probably go there all day every day, you know? And we're just getting to know each other.

We're talking. She seems nice, but I can already tell. I'm like, oh, this may not be happening, but we're going to sit here and find out. She found out I was a comedian. So we started talking about that. And then I proceeded to drink. I was so nervous, because I've never been on a blind date or whatever day before.

I was drinking IPAs, and I drank like five IPAs. Woof. Those aren't session. No. They have session IPAs and then they have regular ones. Well, the beer was probably fermenting within me too, like I was

You know, and I'm like, oh god, like I I've made a huge mistake and I remember the bartenders like oh, it's cash only and I was like shit And I remember I was like broke at the time and they had an ATM in there and I was like, okay. And I didn't have so I'd like overdraw my because my credit card. This is at a time too when that $3 like ATM fee that they put on top that hurts. Oh, yeah. I'm like, Paul.

I'm like, this is not my day. This is not my day. And then I don't remember much of the end. I think I Was trying to be polite and like I don't know I'm like an old 90 year old man like from the 30s I was like, alright good day and I helped her put her backpack on and I gave her a hug and I tried to kiss her on the cheek Wait not in like a not in like a

on the cheek. Wait. Not in like a, not in like a creepy, like I was just like, okay, like I was kissing a friend on the cheek. Not on the neck. Not on the neck before the bathroom. Yeah, not on the neck. And not a smooch. Just.

And I never saw her again. Wait, so Molly, I'm so sorry. You never got an explanation for why this woman had her camper backpack on her? Yeah. No, I remember, I don't remember. Those IPAs really got me. I don't think I've ever had that certain one ever again.

Coming from work and going to where? The woods? I don't know. It was huge. I mean, maybe they lived out of it. No, I feel like she had a good job. I remember I did see her from afar once. It was either at a show or leaving a show.

And I'm like, did she come to this show to like secretly just see me do a set? God, I hope it was good. And then she was like, not for me. I'm more into prop comedy. Wow. Oh, I forgot the main point. The bar I took her to, all the bartender, the bartender kind of took over the date prop comedy. Wow. Wow. Oh, I forgot the main point.

The bar I took her to, all the bartenders, the bartender kind of took over the date and was just telling us that like, the bar is known for serial killers hanging out there. So like John Wayne Gacy and Jeffrey Dahmer would hang out there. So if you like Google the bar, it's like- They're Chicagoans?

Whoa. Well, I think Dahmer was like the Wisconsin close by or something. Wisconsin, yeah. And you know, the girl I remember, she's been like, why did we go to this bar? And I was like- And I'm like, well, I thought it was- She thinks you're one. You said Dive Bar.

You said Dive Bar, and I just figured I like like I frequent this place because there's an open mic here. And she's like, because I kill a lot of people. I mean, and I was like, don't worry. Those murderers were sex offenders, but only for men. And I'm like, wow. And then you got into it, you were like, there needs to be more representation for women in the serial killer community. Like, I literally took this poor girl to a bar.

Like I think I'm the one who's the horror part. No, out of all of them, you are the biggest villain of your own story. For sure. Absolutely. Bad dates. Thank you. All of you really truly. This was a bang up episode. I enjoyed all of these

stories so much. But we are at the end of the podcast now. And so I have to be in to say goodbye. Echo Kellem, tell the people where they can find you and what you're doing. You can find me on Instagram at Echo Kells. And what I'm'm doing I'm just living life just enjoying the ride you know and you should live life too and enjoy all the moments soaking the Sun. Wake up early listen to the birds. Guys let's cut this part. This has to be it. This has to make it in. Chloe Trust where can people find you? Where can they see you? What are you doing? You can find me on Instagram too. Chloe underscore Trost.

Also TikTok. I do a lot of stupid dances there badly. Check her out. I don't know when this comes out, but check her out anyway. Oh yeah. And finally, Molly Kearney. Where can the people findney. Hi buddies. Instagram and TikTok.

Meet Brick Molly. That's meat as in a patty. Meet Brick Molly. And yeah, I'm going to be doing some shows. So just that's where you can find me. Be on the lookout. Thanks for having us and me. Of course. Of course. You guys, thank you so Thanks for having us and me and all of us.

Of course, of course. Thank you. You guys, thank you so much for joining us on another episode of Bad Dates. I'm Joel Kim Booster. Please, if you're listening to this, you liked what you heard, go and rate and review us on Spotify, iTunes, wherever you're listening to your podcasts these days. It really helps people find us and gets the listenership up. And that means more insane stories and questions from you.

Well, until next week, that's been Bad Dates. Bye bye. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited, and engineered by Devin Torrey Bryant. Produced by Anne Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana.

Executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Music by Cushi and Eben Schleder. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3283

that's 984-265-3283 that's all for this week we will be back for more Bad Dates Smart Plus Media