Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Re-release: A Calloused Hand (w/ Frankie Quiñones, Becky Robinson, and Jenna Jiménez)

Episode Date: May 25, 2026

The Bad Dates feed is under construction! While we coordinate something very exciting, please enjoy one of our favorite recent episodes. In this edition, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians Frankie Quiñones, Becky Robinson, and Jenna Jiménez to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Frankie tries to get into the rhythm but it’s so awkward he can only do it for a decade, Becky is seeing a man who is dumb hot and just doesn’t know where to get dinner, and Jenna…this…this is a Hall Of Fame bad date story. This is a very bad date story indeed.   Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.  Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates.   Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 3 Frankie Quiñones: New special Damn That’s Crazy on Hulu, FrankieQuinones.com for tickets Becky Robinson: @beckyrobinson4 on Insta, EntitledHousewife.com, new special coming soon Jenna Jiménez: @jennajewmenez on Insta, check out Pit Stop at ByTiaJenna.Com Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hello listeners, producer Devin here. While the bad dates feed is under construction, we're re-releasing a few of our favorite episodes from this last season. We are coordinating something you're really going to love coming very shortly, but in the meantime, please enjoy this episode, A Callist Hand, featuring Frankie Quinoes, Becky Robinson, and an absolute Hall of Fame bad date story from Jenna Jimenez that left everybody speechless. This is a good one. Back with new things very soon. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of Bad Dates. I am your host, Joel Kimbooster. As always, this is a show that I bring in some of my funniest friends

and they mine the trauma of their past dating history for your enjoyment. Fun stories, fun convos, we do it all. And just to be clear here, bad dates on our podcast can mean anything from a real date to a hookup to a relationship, to a relationship, to a a bad marriage even. We run the gamut. There's just been too many episodes and not enough comics who actually go on dates. So hookups definitely count here. Thank you very much.

And now let's get into it because I have a very funny panel with me today. I'm very excited about it. We have an actor and a comedian from This Fool and What We Do in the Shadows. His new comedy special, Damn That's Crazy, directed by his friend, Ali Wong, just came out on Hulu. It's Frankie Cignon. Hey, what's on you? I would also say Frankie Noges. and I are also in a project together that has not yet been announced, but it was a really fun day on set with Frankie.

A good hang this one. Yes, yes, yes. We also have a comedian, writer, and actress who appeared in Wildenout, and The Bachelor, Hello Range. She is currently on her members-only tour, and she has a brand-new comedy special entitled Becky Robinson. Hi, hi-hi-hi-ha. The titular. Why don't you leave at The Bachelor? I can't believe that was even on there.

Well, somebody put it on there. I don't know where we got it. That is range, though. I do love that. Were you a contestant? No. We did a thing where we acted out what they were supposed to do on their date. I see.

It would have been great, though, if you were one of the eligible ladies. I remember the producer looking me up and down and being like, you could, like, he was kind of like, if you would lose a little wick. Like, you could be on. And I was like, really? See, for me, I think it's not a vibe match for you because those ladies, they just aren't on your level. You know? I couldn't. It would have been fascinating as a different.

sort of a second show within the show to add you to the cast so that you'd be like, hey! Hey, nice! Hey, can I steal him away for a second? You know? Can I take him? Oh, my gosh.

I would tune in. I would tune in for sure. And that voice you just heard on Mike is a comedian and actress as well from shows like SWAT and sketch and release, but she prefers you know her as the entrepreneur behind her own line of deodorant called Pit Stop.

It's Jenna Jimenez. as everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Have you thought about going on Shark Tank? I have and I just am too lazy. Yeah, that's fair. Because I would have to really think and like really get my business up. I mean, right now, I'm still making it in my kitchen on my own. What sort of sets you apart from, say, a national store brand of deodorant? That it works. Now, for how long does it work, though? How many hours? Well, it depends. If you're fucking, it works. works a little less because your hormones change.

Oh. But for me, I put it on once a day. My partner was a professional soccer player. He put it on once a day. Whoa. Yeah, you might want to fuck him. Not me, that's him. That's amazing.

And it's all natural. Yeah, what sort of brought you to the decision to make it? Oh my God, I kind of want to see. Can you bring it out? This is, there is a video component. So let's show the merchandise, Jenna. Wait, I didn't agree to being on a camera. Yeah, clearly.

Let me dig through my bag of tricks. No one reacted to that. Wow. Oh, it's in a like... Oh, it's a very unique package. Yeah. So, canned deodorant. The way that it started candy.

I love it. That's what you call it, like tin fish. Canyodorant. Where can people buy it? You can buy it at buy tiajena.com, which is B-Y-Y-T-I-A-Gena.com. And they also sell it at Potluck Grocer, which is a store in Highland Park. Look at you. That I have.

had to buy it from this morning because I didn't have any left. I couldn't even make that up. I had to go there and buy my own fucking deodorant for more than I sold it to them for. Wow. That is cool. I mean, it's funny going back in your pocket a little bit. You bought all their inventory. That is incredible.

I got that. I'm like, hey, I'm just going to get this. She goes, aren't you the vendor of that? Just ring me up, please. Thank you. You know, for years, I thought, like many Koreans, I was born with the gene where I don't produce body odor. And then my partner recently told me that's not the case.

What? I don't know one Korean smell. Listen, it's not bad, but it is. It's crazy hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it might be a hormonal thing, honestly, too, that might have shifted. I don't know. Can being happy make you have body odor?

The first time of your life? Sorry. And you think your stuff will help me? I know it will help you. Yeah. Perfect answer. I love it. Okay. Moving on, this is not a show about products, although I would love it to be a show about products. I'm out now.

Yeah. All right. See you later. This is a show about dating and love. And so like every week, we have a little bit of an icebreaker question that was come up with by our panel of experts here in-house at Bad Dates. A Reminder, we love hearing your suggestions for icebreaker questions. So if you have one that you would like us to ask our panel of guests, email us at baddatespot at gmail.com, I promise someone. not me is looking at that email every once in a while. So today's compatibility question comes to you, and this is the question. What is the text you send or receive right before you are ghosted or ghosting someone? I will start with Jenna. Oh, dang.

First of all, is this a text you send or receive? Let me preface this with, I did not start dating until I was in college, so I didn't learn all of this stuff. So I have never ghosted anyone. Wow. What? And the closest I came to ghosting was this guy who I broke up with several times and I'm like, bro, it's done. And then he kept texting me.

And so I had to say, hey, so I'm not going to respond anymore. But I don't want to ignore you because I know that that is really not nice. So I'm just letting you know that I'm not going to respond anymore. That is not ghosting. That is a very respectful way. And I don't think I can be ghosted because like I would I haunt. Let's just say that. I would haunt you.

I would be asking questions. there would be, I'd be like, wait, I just need to know the reason. You're showing up at work. Right. I'm showing up. Oh my God, what are you doing here? You work a serious at SM? I'm telling you order in the lobby.

There's too many avenues to reach people now. Becky Robinson. Yeah. I have a feeling. I have a feeling. I can learn this thing before I came in here. What? I feel like this is going to make so much sense.

Are you, in this answer, are you the ghoster or the ghostie? I don't. I don't know if I have been ghosted. I probably am just too 80D to clock it. But I recently, a guy was like, I just want to be your best friend. And I was like, no. No. No.

Do you remember that little John album from back in the day? And Chris Rock is on it. And he's like, I want to be best friends. I want to be the friend that's fucking you in an ass. I always come through my head once I was like, you want to be best friends. And I guess I, that's right. How early. to go to the guy

I mean, like, bending you over. How many dates in was this? Do you think? This was like a few months, multiple trips to see each other. It's just,

yeah. And then you haven't really spoken since. Well, so I kind of, I go, I'm quick to like block on everything. Like, they don't get access to my story. Yeah, no. That's great.

They don't get to see you in that golf cart. Exactly. Yeah. In that feature for me. Exactly. and then I circle back. I'm like, you doing okay though?

And then that's the ghost tag. It's the same thing. It's like they keep calling and they keep and it's like you already set the but you tried to set the boundaries like hey this is over I'm not into it and like keep calling every day that's happened with the last two guys.

Well he wants to be your best friend. Well I don't. She wants to be that. My fucking in the ad. The quota is full. Yeah. You don't need that. That is always my thing too

is like in most of the situations where you know a casual relationship has ended and they're like, but I still want to be friends. I'm usually like, that is not the vibe. Like, I have so many of those already and I, yeah, the position has been filled. When people say that, I'm like, do you know how many friends I've been trying to get rid of? Yeah.

This is, no. I don't have space for another gay Matt from Cleveland who's moved to the big city escaping his hometown. You know, like I just, the quota, it's just, there's too many already. I've let too many in that I shouldn't have. All right, Frankie, you came in. You did not know about the question. You've had some time. You've heard their answers.

Yeah, I know. I just blacked out. So in your case, are you the ghoster or the ghosty in this situation? I don't know. I was kind of, I've had like what you said happen where, like, a girl's like, yo, like, yeah, I'm looking forward to being friends, getting, like, friends on. And I'm like, ah, I'm good. And they'll hit me up like the next week.

Like, yo, yeah, like, come to this thing. And I'm like, I'm good, like that. But then the only time really, like, I ghosted this girl. We kicked it, like, three times. but she would leave like trash by the trash can, like not put it in the trash can. Oh, no. Oh, wow.

It was a weirdest thing, homie. Oh, wow. The restroom one, I was like, okay, that one's low. It'll be trash right there. And I'm like, just put it in there. Yes, I have my house. That's kind of unconscionable. Like, I, there's nothing I think I hate more in this world than litterers.

And that is a form of littering just in your actual house. Oh, my God. It was weird. Did you ever see her place? I didn't. Yeah. Yeah, I bet. Or what that looked like...

Was she blind? No. Okay. Then there's no... That would have changed every thing. Yeah. I was really trying to like shockiness and that this could have happened. Bad dates.

And now we're going to transition right into your story. Starting with the man who went last, Frankie Kinyas. Frankie, what is your relationship status right now? Yeah, I'm single, man. I kind of was like not trying to date for a while. After that trashkins. Yeah. Yeah, she traumatized.

After cleaned up on the trash. You said that's enough. Yeah, yeah, I recently tried to start. When was the last time you were in a relationship? Last year. Last year. Okay, so it hasn't been that long. You may it sound like you've been celibate like a month for like a year.

For like 30 years. Yeah, yeah. That's interesting. And now are you, so other than in your, you're now entering into a time where you're trying to date more. I mean, yeah. I'm not really like that. Are you a dater sort of person? I don't like dating.

It's really uncomfortable for me, but, you know, you know, I like to, you know, you like to be in the comfort zone. You like to put your myself out there more down to whatever. How long was your longest relationship? Four years. Four years. Okay. So you're good at that part.

It's just the beginning stages that you're kind of like not into. Yeah, yeah. Just going through all that shit, you know, like, what do you like? And how many siblings do you have? Learning about a person sucks. But it's like, you know, obviously when you're, vibes with somebody, you vibe with somebody. No, I think, like, me and my partner who've been together four and a half years, we definitely

jumped in, like, it felt very familiar right away. And so I didn't, because I'm like you. I don't like dating for the sake of dating. Like, I hate going on first dates, blind dates, app dates, like, all of it. It didn't feel like small talk. Yeah, small talk. I hate it. But, like, we were jumping in, like, with the deep stuff.

I was like, my dad just died. So buckle up. And he was like, all right, let's do it. Yeah. And he was game. So I think that you're, that's what you should be looking for right now is someone that you can go to level three with from the jump. That's good advice. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like I'm, yeah. I'm, yeah, I get kind of picky too. And I try not to be picky because I don't like, eh, you know. How old are you? Like, 72? You look great. Yeah, yeah, 58. I'm in my 40s old.

Yeah. Oh, I wouldn't guess that either. Yeah. Oh, thank you. So where in your 40-year history does this story take place? I don't know, maybe like 10, 15 years ago. Oh, wow. Okay.

So it's from the archives. Yeah, yeah, it's from the archives. But it stands out. So interesting. Let's get into it. Yeah, so I had been talking to this girl for a while. There was definitely some sexual chemistry. We were like building up.

And I was like, you know, I thought she was real sexy and all that stuff. And then finally we were like, all right, we were planning to hang out. And then I was like. Where did you meet this girl? And then at school. At school, okay. And then so, but, you know, we stayed in touch and then we started kind of hanging out. But then with friends, oh, and then we finally planned a date.

And then I was like, y'all, do you like dancing? She's like, I love dancing. So I'm like, oh, hell yeah, you know, because I like to get it, you know. So I was like, I found this reggae night. And then we go. And then, well, we went to dinner. Dinner was cool. She was asking a lot of, like, questions and, like, just stating facts.

So I nicknamed her Snap. Give us an example, please. Like, did you know that? And I'm like, oh, okay. Did you know that the whale? And I don't know if she was trying to show that. She's like, I'm smart. Not really giving you an option for an answer other than yes or no.

Like, that's the kind of question that's not really a question. That is so good. She had 100 of them in her purse. She's just going to be. Did you know? It's wild of pre-Tick-Tick-Tock facts. Yeah. Right, right.

She's been tossed around. Yeah. Where did these come from? Yeah. She must have been nervous. She had a successful TikTok. Yeah, it sounds like she was very prepared. Yeah.

But, you know, whatever, it was fun, though, the day. But then we go dancing. And she said she loved dancing. And I'm like, cool. I went out there and danced for her. I got out there and I start doing it. And she gets out there. And, like, I have never seen a human being have, like, not have rhythm as bad as she did not have rhythm.

Like, I'm talking like, damn, homie. And at first I thought she was playing around. I was like, ha, ha. She was literally just like. rocking back and forth. You know, she, like, went on the dance storm or just like, no. Like Drew Barrymore and never been kissed where she's so bad.

Oh, is it? Yeah. I feel like, from what you described, from what you described, she's like a 9, 10 range, right? Yeah, definitely like an 8. Okay. Sorry, sorry.

Sorry to this woman. Hope you're not listening. I know. I'm afraid she doesn't watch it. You probably will. This eight, like to me, It sounds like a classic case of too hot to get a note. Like I think, I bet there have been men in her life where, like, baby, you are such a good dancer.

And, like, feeding her that. Because to say I love dancing and then to simply not be able to. Like, it is like that episode of 30-year-Arc with John Hammere, where she's in the hot bubble, you know? And everything she does is flawless. Later, it wasn't that night, but I want to say a couple weeks there, she's, she's, admitted it to me. She was just like, I can't dance. I'm like, but you said you love that.

She was like, but I love it. No shit. You can't dance. Oh, wow. So everything I said. But that night, bro, it was so uncomfortable that even those like circles of other people in the club and dance were like having laughing amongst themselves. Like, oh shit, look at that.

You know, just like, and I was just like, oh. Did you have that thing when you're embarrassed for her? Oh, that was the most uncomfortable part. I was just embarrassed for her. Why didn't you suggest leaving and going to a different location? We did. We left. Or like guiding.

I mean, we were there for a while though. I was still like, was that? Or like guided her? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. You just like suffocated her. Yeah. That can actually like the partner dance of it all or like grinding or whatever.

That often, unfortunately in my experience only makes it more pronounced the problem. You know? Like when you have rhythm and the person you're trying to partner dance. Oh, you mean you try to freak. horrific. Or free partner dance of any kind, slow dance, whatever. Like or just like, you know, getting up next to somebody and dancing. Knees.

You're bumping knees. Exactly that. Exactly that. It's like, why are you going criss-cross right now? That's not a way people dance. And, yeah, so I understand that. And so she admitted to you two weeks later. So she wasn't hot enough to be lied to.

In fact, she was just an eight. And eight who lies. But maybe she still loves it, though. All she said was, I love dancing. She didn't say she was good at it. No, that's true. She was loving it. I love having no rhythm.

Were you guys having cocktails? Yeah. Hot people sometimes don't feel the need to get better. No. I've always said about LA, you will have sex with the hottest person you've ever seen, but it will be some of the worst sex you've ever had because they don't get notes. And again, it doesn't sound like that was the case with her. Because she's an eight.

Yeah, she was just an eight. You know, statistically very high, but still a B. Yeah, so, you know, we hooked up and I wake up in the morning, so I got it before her. and she's laying with her back to me but no covers on her asses out oh no

yeah what she pooped no she she didn't poop but she started yeah she started she started busting you know

busting ass farting oh yeah in her sleep in her sleep though yeah she wasn't awake but they weren't like rippers they were little like cuties

you know rippers is this the the sole reason you ended things with her did she Did it make you? No, no, no. We actually ended up hooking up with each other for a long time.

Oh, well. Like over 10 years. And did you find that she had rhythm? What? Like, on and off. On and off. Because check it out, homie. I was like.

We're checking it out. And it's not checking out. Because I was like, fuck, she can't dance. Like, you know, it's not going to go good in the bedroom or whatever. That was going to be my question. And it was like, probably the best sex I've ever had to this date. That's why we stayed hooking up for over 10 years. Wow.

So I was like. Oh, my. I was not expecting that. Maybe it was just the reggae music. Maybe there's like a certain, maybe she has an internal rhythm. Yeah, it was hip-hop, reggae. Was she even? What's that?

No. Oh. She's Latina. Oh. I don't want to say your exact music. No, no, no, no. No, no. We don't have to get it.

We don't have to get granular. Okay. I don't, you didn't know what that is for us. She's from. So don't just don't say. Yeah. Yeah, all her rhythm translated another thing. Honestly, no matter what music it is, she just,

It doesn't have really. If you have to have one or the other, that's the one you want. I know. But I was just so, because you know it's like a thing that, oh, they dance good. Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. I know. Everyone thinks I fuck good. Shattering stereotypes. Would it go south if you put music on whilst having sex, would she get mad at it? Oh my God. The sex playlist is just white noise. You're fucking. He's like, baby.

It's really bad. It's really bad. Thank God. This is a partly visual media. now. We're going to see what Jenna just did with her body. Bad beats. Becky Robinson, we're turning now to you. Same question.

Are you in a relationship right now? No. You're not. And when was the last time you were in a relationship, would you say? Like a real, live-together relationship? It's been two years. Two years.

Okay, and how long was that? Three years. Three years. Okay. It was my only gay relationship. Oh, wow. Like, female, yeah. Female, female.

It seemed like it worked out. pretty well for you. It was good for a while and it was horrific. She was great. It's just, you know. The relationship was a horror. But she was nice. Yeah.

Yes. She's a very good person. Yeah. Oh, and that is a nightmare. That is a nightmare. That was the hardest part about it. I was like, I'm awful. So Becky, where in your timeline does this story take place?

Fairly recent. Oh. Okay. Shut up. This is going to be, I feel like, so, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm an open book. How many listeners do you have? I say too many things when I step into this serious.

Listen, we can cut anything you want. It's okay. We have a hefty amount of listeners. Great, great, great. Okay. Well, so I've been on tour for like nonstop four years straight. Yeah, I was going to say. I'm dying out here, you know.

Every time I get on Instagram, I'm like another tour poster from Becky. For next year's tour, I'm like, I don't have anything else to say. That's amazing, though. But every now and then I like I hit this like just point where I'm like I need TLC like I need something. I just need to hook up with someone. It's like very rare but it happened. We were just in NorCal and I was like 10 minutes before going to sound check and I like got on bumble swiped right and I was just like you're hot. Like sometimes you're like, hey, how's it gone?

I was just like, hey, you're hot. And then this guy responded. He was like, yeah, I would bust quick. And I was like, what do you do tonight? Wait, that turned you up? I'm looking for one first. He's looking for one. There's nothing you're putting out here.

He jumped immediately to I Would Bust Quick. Yeah, so I was like, kind of funny. Huh. I think maybe another title of F, I would bust quick. It's probably going to make, like, the story be like, you should have known with this guy. Yeah, it sounds like he's selling himself. He's selling what you're going to get pretty clearly up top.

And I only wanted one thing. I was just like, I just wanted like booty call, like come over. We had two shows. There were country club shows. So I was in my wig for like eight hours. As entitled Housewife, I tore that thing off and I was like, get over here. Come and bust quick. I've just removed my oak.

You better bust quick like you said. So he comes over. We had this like amazing, like we just stay up all night, like laughing. Okay, so it wasn't so quick. No. This is, I like this. Yeah, we had sex like four or five times. Oh.

Oh, my God. Did he come every time? Yeah. That's amazing. He must have been in, like, his 20s. I'm going to bus quick, but I'm going to bus like five times. The early 30s. Okay.

But there's a thing with, so I'm like, yeah, this guy is, he's like dumb hot, like strong. Oh, shit. He's like a fireman turned helicopter medic. Oh, wow. And, like, I got turned on. Just buff and I, like, had just coming off of, like, dating, like, the sweetest girl. I was like, I just want to be tossed around, like, by a calloused hand. And, um.

I get it. And so that happened. That night happens. And we, like, kept talking. And I was playing, like, Tahoe the next night. night and he was in between, he lives in between, said he had like a place in both. So he was like, oh, come and like, I'll invite my friends. We were like, great.

So we spend another night together, like, dancing. It's fun. And then I invite him out to Utah for like a show night. And it was like the last show I had to practice before my stand-up special that I just shot. And I invited him out, probably stupid to do that, given what I needed to do for that show. But he comes out and we were driving over. Wait, wait, back up a little bit. Yeah.

What did you have to do in the show that, made this a bad idea. Practice the material. It was the last show before you're taping. Yeah, he had seen it. The character stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this was like you doing stand-up, though.

Yeah, the show is half me, half the character. Got it. With like a sketch in between. And I just, I hadn't laid it down the way I wanted to up until that show. So I was like, this is the last chance I get to workshop this before we tape. Yeah. And then I invited him when I was like, I could make me a little nervous because he's hot. But so we're driving over to something.

like city from I forget what town somewhere really random in Utah and we're getting in at 2 a.m. He got to the hotel at like 8 a p.m. And I booked him a flight. I paid like a thousand dollars. I know it's stupid, but he's hot. And I was like, I just have points. I'll just book you on this. You have to get that pussy wet. It's okay. He shows up and he's like, I forgot a phone charger. Do you know where I can get a phone charger? It starts like the second he lands. And he's like, where can I get dinner? And like, we had a show that night. We had all that he's acting like a toddler. He's in the hotel that I had booked. And he's like, where do I get dinner? What am I supposed to do. Like, I don't have a charger, my phone's gonna die.

I'm like, you're not hotel. Like, just can figure it out. We're driving over. We have the show and we're like, we're heading out there. And he's like, do you think you could stop at a gas station on your way out and get some rhino pills? What? What are rhino pills?

He's like, they're dick pills. Like, from the gas station, you can't even get them from like a shell station. It has to be like one off. That's like. They work. They do. Yeah. Really?

I think that's like this. I'm certain that sucks. Yeah, that's what he had that night that he came over. Oh, that's why he buzzed. I don't know. I feel like it's psychosomatic. I've had guys who have asked for dick pills before, and I don't have one on hand, like a Viagra.

And I'll go back and get them an ibuprofen and tell them that it is. And it works like a goddamn charm. It's so mental. Wow. And so I do think, I can't imagine. There's just sugar in the pills. Yeah, that it's much of anything. I just think it gives guys like a sense of like, oh, I have taken the rhino pill now.

And like I can. Yeah. Yeah. But who knows? I mean, he kind of was like, I just jerked off too much in my life. That's why I have issues. Like, okay.

Well, that's a real. Oh, wait. Oh, he said that? Yeah. I was like, why do you need these pills? Have you tried to have sex with someone in their 20s recently? It requires like a gorilla grip. They've been jerking it since they were, you know, 11 years old because they all have cell phones with porn right at their fingertips.

Yeah. Everything's out of commission. It's true. The grip. Mm-hmm. Like you need. I don't remember that when I was. Yeah, because they've been gripping.

They're so in order to have, like, penetrating. They're so in order to have, like, penetrative sex, your pussy obviously is not gripping like that. And so it becomes really hard. That's why I feel like I have like, some people are like Kegel wants to like, I'm like, I feel like I'm holding it into Kegel the whole time.

Yeah. Because they need that grip. Yeah. Sometimes I just like go like grip before it goes in. I'm like that's the only grip you're getting. Yeah. All right. So you got it. The kids are not going to be all right. The kids need a gorilla grip. Yeah.

Okay. So he's useless and annoying. And he, like, had meandered down to the bar and, like, he was able to, like, find cocktails. So he got, like, pretty drunk. So by the time we show up, he's, like, pretty fucked up. Because he didn't have dinner. He didn't know where to go to dinner. He didn't know how to get dinner.

But he's like, yeah, I was at a hotel bar. I'm beers. Like, oh, my God. Like, if he's a beautiful restaurant in there, he's just, you know. So then I wasn't drinking at the time, but I was like, I can't take this on sober. So I rip, like, a whole setiva pre-roll. And truly was one of the hardest. Before you go on.

Wait before your show? No. before being in the hotel room with him. Got it, got it, got it. Literally the hardest blowjob I've ever given in my life. All saliva left the building. Oh, yeah, cotton mouth is not conducive. If I smoke, like, even my eyes,

I think I, like, blinked my contact lenses out onto his dick. Like, they fly. I just, like, it was so miserable and, like, I feel like I had, like, chap lip on chapped dick, and I'm like, this is so bad, you know, yeah, just, like, trying to keep the crue. cracks of my lips wet. You look like the Joker afterwards because the corners of your mouth are so cracked and dry.

Yeah, hawk-toeing absolute corduroy. And so then we have like regular, you know, switch over to like regular sex because I'm like, this is just not working, you know. I'm mortified. And I bet you were dry too after his fucking antics of like, going to get a meal. I know he's crazy. Well, I'm going under pressure. So I make it work, you know. And for the sex part.

And then when he. He finishes. He asks me if I can kegle it out. What? Wait. He goes, can you kegle it out? Oh, so he wants it out? He goes out.

Oh. So not only did I just do everything. Yeah, I thought the load. You can't pull out? He wants to feel that as he comes out. Wow. But I'm, you know. I feel like, can you make me come?

Can you kegle it out? I know. And then he was like, don't use your vibrator that's going to ruin everything. Like, you don't get a say in there. You're clearly not doing anything. This guy was such an asshole. I mean, he ruined everything. He was such a dick.

So I'm kind of a self-proclaimed Pilates Queen, so I was kind of like honored to be asked if I could kegle it out. So I was like, I was like, certainly. And I'm on my back with my legs are a little bit, you know, they're up. And I go, and you guys, hang. The wetest, the wettest fart. Oh. Oh, no.

This is a theme. He flew off of me. He's like in the corner of the room. He's like, was that a queen for a fart? I'm serious, dude. Was out of fucking queen for a fart? I'm like, ew.

Like, it was a queen. There's a turd on the bed. No, there wasn't. And even if there was. Yeah. Hey, you flew me out. You just dropped the rack to get me out here. I'm eating the farts, whatever.

I'm doing the fart. I know, I'm like, you will do whatever I ask. And then I get up, like, walks. He was such an asshole. And he's like, you're fat, but like, not fat also. No. What? No.

Oh, hell no. This dude is fucking. The other thing he did, the other thing he did is goes, what's that on your, on your ass? You know, I'm a very physical comedian. I have a hernia and a constant hemorrhoid. And he goes, he goes, it looks like my gum. What is that? He goes, is that a hemorrhoid?

I go, yeah, and he goes, are those contagious? Oh. It's like, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you. This is horrific. It was so bad, dude. And he was flown out there like a high-class prostitute. Exactly.

And this is how he acts. And then this is how he acts. next day we had like a couple hours to hang out before the show and he was like I'm gonna go meet my friend for drinks I was like I hope he's watching this he don't he's trash he's still text me all the time well you did pay for a flight to Utah for him so I'm sure he's trying to figure out how he can milk you for more cash I know he still wants to know if you have a charger he can borrow yeah yeah it's like the lame is do it um so Becky Robinson don't bring a fiber what do you think you learned from this experience that you're carrying with you well I to your next thing. Don't kegle it out even though you're confident about it.

Maybe that like hot, dumb isn't, or like dumb hot is not, is not there. You're going to be running back into the arms of a woman any day now. Damn right. Yeah. So Jenna Jimenez,

are you, you mentioned a boyfriend earlier, a very hot sounding soccer player boyfriend. Is that, are you currently in that relationship? Yeah, we've been together for about 12 years. Oh, shit.

Yeah, but there's a lot. There was like a four-year. Were you like middle school, sweetheart? Because Jenna, you look at roughly 24 years old. Baby. I'm 38 in two months. Shut up. Oh, my God.

Wait, so much. And you'd never know. I've never had Botox because I'm afraid that it's like a toxin and it's going to be body of my body. I have never had Botox yet either. Are you scared of it? I am scared of it because, I mean, we use their faces a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm afraid of it like for my immune system. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay, so 12 years you've been in this relationship. That's incredible.

And I'm only 24. Yeah. So, yeah, 12 years. There was a lot of open relationship years, though, many, many, many, like. Oh, well, that still counts. Yeah. Yeah. I just didn't want you to think I was only fucking one person for 12 years.

Oh, God, no. I would never make that assumption about you. Oh, God, no. So where in your history does this story take place? Almost 19 years ago. Nice. Because this is a thing. I know I was telling you earlier,

but I did not even make out with anyone until I was in college. Wow. I was like way too busy being in show choir and choir. And let's just say there probably weren't a lot of guys in those activities that were eligible for you to be kissing. No. And they were better than guys who I could. kiss. So it's like, what else do I need? I was doing Irish dancing. I was at, like, I had so much going on that when like guys would have, and also my ADHD, I did not understand when someone

liked me. What? Huh? But, um, what was the question you asked? Where are you trying to where are you? Where am I? Yeah, yeah. Okay, like, yeah, 19 years ago, um, this is after my first relationship that I ever had, which was in college. It lasted two years. And this was, was after we broke up. Let's hear it. Okay, question about names. It's sort of up to you. We can bleep it.

Okay. I'm going to tell you his name once because it's very important. Okay. Oh, okay. And do you want us to bleep it or do you? Yes. Okay, so let's note that down. Bleep the one instance of the name.

Yeah. So his name is. Oh, you're going full night. Wow. Wow. Yeah, we definitely. You needed that. It's a full doorbell moment.

But that is, I will say, it's really sad for the listeners. at home that they don't get to hear that name because it is, it's very evocative of the kind of person that this man is. Yes, it's like, I don't even need to tell my story, you know. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm, I got out of my first relationship, right?

And I'm thinking like, all right, let's do it again. One of my best friends, she is from Georgia. I'm from Chicago, but this is story for another time. But I was on a reality TV show as a kid at 14. Kid Nation? No, it was like for, it was like Survivor for kids. This is called Endurance. Cool.

I want. Oh, what? We'll talk about it later, but I met her there. So I would visit her very often to Elberton, Georgia, this little small town. Okay, she had a farm. And I started seeing that she was tagging this guy on Instagram, the name I said before, and I'm like, he is really hot. And obviously, like, no one I've ever dated or seen because I live in Chicago.

Right. And I'm like, who is this Army hot-ass redneck? Can we say redneck? Or am I canceled? Yeah, no, no, you can say it right now. I think that's up to Becky. Are we allowed? Yeah, you can run with that one.

I'm a rat snack woman. So. Class roll. Yes. So I'm like, I got to meet him. What? And she's like, all right, well, like, the next time you come out here, I'll set it up. So I plan a trip.

And I go visit her. And she has this meat, like, at a waffle house or like a whatever, like Cracker rail or something. he comes right in. He's looking as military as ever. And I'm like, oh my God, I love it. And she's sitting across the table for me. He's getting handsy already.

And because I've only had like one pair of hands on me, I'm like, yes. Okay. Enthusiastic. Yeah. I had only had sex with one person. Only made out with one person. I'm like, let's go. So I get this text from her.

And, you know, she's texting for a long time because it's like ABC. You know, the phone's back then. She had to go through all the court. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, hey, I'm just telling you this because I love you, but I have to let you know that I think he has chlamydia. Because my friend WSK just told me that she got it from him a couple of weeks. And I'm like, what?

She goes, so I think he has chlamydia. And I just want to tell you because I love you. So be safe. I love the dialect work you're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm transported. I am in the waffled. I am transported.

I am in the waffled. Oh, gosh, thanks. because I like can't tell a story without doing the person's voice. It's really good. So he, so I go like, okay, I think about it. I'm like, you know what? You're right. I'm going to be safe.

And this is an STI, not an STD, so I'm good. And I go, we just won't fuck. So she leaves. We're on our own. And he's like, all right, so I still got a clock into work because he's in the military. So we got to drive to Savannah, Georgia, which is like two, two, three hours away. So I hop in his F-250, 3-50, who knows what. I'm adventurous, right?

I'm from Chicago. Second location with a stranger. Three hours away? A military base even. Straight from the Waffle House. Straight from the Waffle House. But I'm like, she knows him. They've been friends.

Yeah, sure. He's been vetted. He's been vetted, yeah. So we're going, we'll listen to his country music. I'm like, Yehaw, we pull up to the base. And he goes, all right, so before we pull in, I just need to let you know, you need to duck. before we go in because we're not allowed to have anyone here on base. What?

That's something you ask for permission, like, if you're okay with before you make the trip, actually. So this is not a red flag to me somehow. So I'm just like, and I duck. And I'm like, all right, dope. This is so cool. So we go, we go to his barracks. We go up in there. There's no one there because they're all at work.

Doing military, yeah. Right. He goes, all right. So if anyone comes in, I just want to let you know, I'm going to get ready for work. But if anyone knocks, you cannot open the door because we're not allowed to have anyone here and I could get. And I go, it's a lot to put on you. Right. I'm like, okay.

All right. So I go and sit down on one of his, like, barely twin beds with the other twin beds that are just lined up there. His cot. His cot. Yeah, his cot. Let's call what it is. And let's be real. At 19, that is still a period of your life where you think being someone.

secret makes you special. I was 21. Okay. But you're saying Mary of my. It's 21, too. That was 32. And he turns to me and he goes, he's like washing his hands like, I swear to God, your skin is so, I just love the color.

So, oh, whoa. And he goes, it's like, it's like brown and like carmelie honey. And he goes, and you know what? You look just like Jessica Alba. And I, Not to be on his side, but I can see it. I can see it.

Okay, but I had long hair at the time. And I'm going like, no, I don't, but instead what comes out is like, thank you. Thank you. And he has a poster on his wall that's a life-size poster of Jessica Alba in a bikini. Oh, shit. Was it that fur bikini? Yeah, probably. So I'm looking at her and going like, I don't, but okay.

We sit down. He's getting a little handsy. We start making out. He goes on top of me. and I lean back and look up and there is a ginormous Confederate flag on the ceiling.

And I'm at this point in my life where I'm going I know that's fucked but I'm going to be so open-minded that I made myself close-minded. And I say something I go like oh well that's

well that's like not really cool and he's like well actually it's like a huge part of history and I have pride in it because you know there's this book on Robert E. Lee, and you should get it. So I'm going like, I'm going to be open-minded. Yeah.

He goes to work. Whatever. We have a nice weekend. He drives me back to the Waffle House. You're hiding in his barracks for the entire weekend. While he's at work? Under the watchful eye of Jessica Alba. And a Confederate flag. I'm like finding things to do.

I'm looking around. Reading up on Robert E. Lee. Yeah. So we go, we have a nice weekend in and out of the barracks. as if the actual flag was not a third red flag this continues I go I fly back home

this continues for like another six months okay we're talking like every single day we are Skyping because I didn't have an iPhone we're Skyping we're text messaging

like we have this relationship right and fast forward to I'm a thespian I'm in school I'm at rehearsal my senior year of college and I

get a text and he's like, hey, I'm going to be in Missouri. I don't know how close that is to you. Tonight. To map. Yeah. So I go look up. I go MapQuest. Missouri, about four, four and a half hours. Yeah. I'm like, I'll see you there. I go back home. I pack up my stuff. I get out of rehearsal at 9 p.m. I'm like, I'm ready. I go get to him at like 1.30. We make out in his hotel room. And because I'm like he might still have chlamydia, I don't know. And I'm not going to figure that out right now. I need to see his papers.

I was always like asking for papers. Especially if it's asymptomatic. It does not, he does not seem like the person from your story that would take care of it. Yeah. No. I always made people show me their papers, which is probably why I didn't have much sex. And he, let's be clear. I want to be very clear.

She's talking about STI results, sexual health results. She is not stopped. her partners and asking for to see their passports and citizens. Thank you. Thank you for that. I appreciate that. My dad's why I'm here, so I'm not checking for anyone's papers. So, okay, we're making out, and I'm doing the best job, like, fucking his mouth as I can

because we can't actually fuck. And this is important for later because there's no air getting in, right? Now let's fast forward. I get home. I leave, like, two and a half hours later. That night, that night he took. text me like, hey, are you sick? Or he called me, hey, are you sick? Because I'm, I'm, I'm, like, not doing well. I have a fever. I have a sore throat. And I think you got me sick. Oh, my. And I go,

no, la la la. Like, I don't think I did because I just came from rehearsal and I'm doing just fine. So I didn't get you sick. He goes, well, they're giving me penicillin just in case. Okay, whatever. Fast forward to the next day. I am having fevers. My throat is sore. One of my friends saves my life and has to drive me back to Chicago to my parents. I'm having fevers now that are past 106. I'm having seizures. I am. We're talking brain damage.

I'm passing out. They admit me into the hospital. Oh, my God. They can't figure out what's wrong. They have an infectious disease doctor come. They find that I have an abscess that has gone from the base of my neck to the base of my brain. Oh, my God. And they can't figure out what the bacteria is.

Now I'm septic. and basically almost dead. They can't get my heart right above 32. They like try and sit, sit me up, stand me up to walk. I'm like dying. And they're trying to figure it out. I go into the ICU now. And this infectious disease doctor comes and she's like, okay, I need everyone out.

She asked me like 100 questions. She's like, and have you, like, have you eaten anything lately? Has there been like any sharp like fish bone or chip that's not an into your mouth that could have made. And she goes, did you make out with anyone? Although that's not very likely because it's an anaerobic bacteria what we found. And so any oxygen would have killed it.

No! And I go, yes, I was. And actually, he was sick. And she goes, you have fusobacterium necrophorum. Necro meaning it's just killing you by killing all of your cells. And the only drug to stop it is guess what? Anything in the penicillin family.

So they do that. They do surgery. I have like a tube coming out of my neck. I have to take off of my senior year of college. The inside of my left eye has melted because of the high fevers. I'm having. I call this guy for a little bit of comfort. And he picks up the phone and I hear just like all this pounding and screaming.

I'm like, hello? I'm like still in the hospital. And this girl's like, hello? Who's this? And I was like, this is Jenna. Who's this? She's like, well, this is. And I just want to let you know that I've been dating for like nine months already.

And he's outside of the, he's outside of his truck. I locked him outside of his truck. And I got his car. He's banging on the window right now trying to get back in. And he is mine. And I just go like, you can have him. Yeah, you can have him. What a prize.

It's, I'm good. You can have him. So that was that. Oh, God. Wow. I got to say, rarely am I rendered speechless on this show? I've been doing it for, what, close to two years at this point? I've heard a lot of stories, but Jenna Jimenez, that ranks in the Hall of Fame of Bad Dates.

Rarely do we have life or death stakes involved in the stories, and yours really is up there. I got to say, Hall of Fame, Bad Dates. You guys, this has been an incredible episode. I hate to end it, but we have to. We all have places to be. Frankie Kignonas. Where can people find you? What do you do these days?

Oh, please just watch my Hulu special. Damn, that's crazy. It's on Hulu. And then, yeah, tour dates, Frankie Kignonos.com. Great? Yeah. Check him out.

He's very funny. If you couldn't already tell. Becky Robinson, which of your 18 tours are you going to, can people find you on right now? Well, my new special is coming out October 24th. Oh, amazing. And all my tour dates are at. Entitled Housewife.com.

Congratulations on the special. If you were, what's your Instagram handle again? For, or TikTok, Instagram? The Becky Robinson show. The Becky Robinson show. If you're not watching Becky Robinson on the TikTok or the Instagram Reels, you're missing out. It's just a pure delight. And I've been a fan for years.

So, so happy to see all your success. And now finally, new friend Jenna Jimenez. Where can the people find you? What are you doing these days? At Jenna Jumanez. I'm not racist. I'm also Jewish. Um, please hire me for acting work. Thank you. That's where you can find me.

And we can find pit stop at, uh, buy tia jena.com. Yes. And that's B.Y. Jenna. Uh, Tia Jena. Anyways, um, yes, check you all of that stuff out. Hire Jenna. Um, she is very wise. Very wise. Very talented. Uh, I've been Jolkinbooster. That's another episode of Bad Dates in the Can. If you liked what you heard today, please give us a rating and review wherever you're listening to It helps other people find the podcast. If you have thoughts, questions, advice, whatever, and you want to get in contact, you can email us at baddatespot at gmail.com. And until next time, that's the show. Thank you so much for listening.

Bye-bye. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media, created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited, and engineered by Devon Tori Bryant. Produced by Anne Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana.

Executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for smartless media are Richard Corson and Bernie Komensky. Music by Cushie and Eben Schleder. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3283. That's 984-265-3-283. That's all for this week. We will be back for more.