Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Re-release: Clock It! (w/ X Mayo, Danny Jolles, and Blair Socci)

Episode Date: May 18, 2026

The Bad Dates feed is under construction! While we're busy laying the groundwork for the next few weeks (we said GROUNDWORK), please enjoy a few of our favorite recent episodes. In this installment, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes guests X Mayo, Danny Jolles, and Blair Socci to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. X made ALL the effort on a first date, Danny has a pretty rough miscommunication at a party, and three-timer Blair’s plan is simple: confuse and confound until they forget.  Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.  Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates.   Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 3 X Mayo: @80dollarsandasuitcase on Insta, Who Made The Potato Salad?, Wonder Man, Loot Season 3 Danny Jolles: @dannyjolles on socials Blair Socci: @blairsocci on socials, Spaced Out With Blair Socci podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Heart. Hello, everyone, producer Devin here. As I mentioned last week, and Joel said it to at the end of our Carrie Kinney Silver episode, we've got our tool belts and our hard hats on, both at a jaunty angle, of course, because this feed is under construction, and we're going to have something really exciting and, dare I say, intimate, for you in just a few weeks. So, in the meantime, here's another of our best recent episodes. This is from last December, and it features Ace Stand-Ups, Ex-Mayo, Danny Jollis,

and Blair Socky telling some absolutely unhinged tales from these dating streets. These are all great stories, but I do really love Blair's mantra that she comes up with here. Confuse and Confound. Please enjoy. We'll be back with new things so shortly. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another edition of the Bad Dates podcast. I am your host, Joel Kim Booster here back, back, back again with more tales from the trenches of people's dating lives. If you're tuning in for the very first time to this podcast, guess what?

The concept is right there in the title. It's about bad dates, babe. Okay? And here at bad dates, we include bad hookups, bad relationships, bad marriages, bad divorces. Anything counts as a date here because really what is a date? What is gender? What is life? You know?

So many deep questions to be asked, but we're not going to answer them on this podcast because we just want to hear people mind their purpose. past trauma for your enjoyment. And boy, oh boy, I'm really excited about today's panel. Nothing but friends today. Just family. Just family today. And that feels good.

So joining me is an actress, producer, comedian and writer from the Daily Show, The Blackening and the Farewell. She's currently on the new season of Lute. And you can see her soon with me on Scrubs. It's X-Mail. Hello. And they also didn't mention that you can see me, you and I on Lute. Lute, Episode 3, baby.

Check us out You're so fantastic on that show I cannot wait to work with you on Scrubs Because we have not Zach Brath if you are listening We have not shared a scene yet And there's still time to rectify that Okay, the people demand it

Thank you so much for joining me, my love The next comedian we have Is a comedian and actor Who has performed on the late show with Stephen Colbert And you've seen him in Hacks, Ted and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend You can watch his don't tell comedy set You choose an interactive comedy set

on YouTube. It's Danny Jalas, everybody. Hello, Danny. Good to see you as always. Not on Scrubs yet. But I was back bracket for aff, if you're listening. Let me tell you, he's listening. Oh, yeah. He's definitely listening. Yeah, yeah. Number two. This is his favorite podcast.

Okay. And finally, last but certainly not least, we welcome back a comedian from NBC Comedy Central, Adult Swim, and Bob's Burgers. Her debut one-hour comedy special live from the Big Dog is, on YouTube now, it's Blair Saki, everybody. Yay! Our three Pete guests. I know. That is an auspicious honor, I have to say. It's a thrilled to be back.

I mean, I have no idea why they called what they were thinking that I have. I think it's because you have a deep well of trauma that you're slowly unpacking. Rather than get a therapist, you're just going to make multiple appearances on this podcast until things start to click. It was cheaper. My therapist is working her ass off, but, you know, I'm doing double-time. Peter. Your therapist gets workers' comp for having to deal with you.

She's deep. In fact, you have actually done what the Joker did to Harley Quinn. You have now made her insane. Yeah. She is a villain now. That's a perfect analogy. Thank you. Perfect, perfect, perfect.

Well, you guys, as we do always on this podcast, before we jump into your stories, we have a little bit of an icebreaker so everybody can get to know you and your style of dating. And this question comes from a listener. It is, if you have a question that you would like to ask our panel or a piece of advice that you would like answer, please email us at bad dates pod at gmail.com. I swear to God, someone's checking the email. I don't know who. But today's icebreaker question is, if you were set up on a blind date, what's the first question you would ask the person who set you up about the person you're about to go out with? We'll start with Blair.

Oh. So you raised your hand. Yeah, well, I didn't know how it's going to work, but definitely do they have a criminal. That's a good one. I haven't fooled before. That one is a good one. It tells a story, certainly. The answer does.

But unfortunately, like, criminal record, I feel like you need to get a little bit more granular with, like, is it a felony? Sure. You know. Misdemeanor. I should have qualified serious. Serious. Serious. Criminal record, parentheses, serious.

Yeah. So we're talking murders. We're talking. Yeah. You know, the dear John's out there. Yes. Assing. Like the Tinder, Swindler, you know, these type of guys.

So if the question is, is does their criminal record necessitate a podcast to explain? Absolutely. If your criminal record necessitates a podcast, then it's a no for me. Yeah, no, no. Thank you for distilling that for me. That's exactly what I mean. But if they got arrested for activism, you're down. Yeah, yeah.

If it's like they threw a beer bottle out of police officer. Right. Yeah. It's something of passion, you know, for a good cause. Absolutely. I can ever love that. And quite frankly, if it's like insurance fraud, who cares? Yeah.

You know, like victimless crime as far as I'm concerned. You shop with the little Sephora. Go off Queen. Okay? You're still welcome at my table. I love how Joe's looking at me. Because maybe those days in New York, I would go, I was missing sample. Little lip gloss in the boo.

Absolutely. Get a little, uh, Dior Hypnotic. Absolutely. They're a multi-billion dollar industry. I think they'll be okay. if you stick a little lip gloss in your bra. Absolutely. Thank you very much.

Well, let's go to you, X, Mayo. What would be the first question you would ask about the man or woman that you're being set up with? Their name. That's all I need. I need their full name because I can run a Google search down.

My cousin is a lawyer for the feds. That's a true story. He went to Harvard, Stanford, and Columbia, clock hits. 100%. So I need the name. You're not interested in the spirit of a blind date, really.

Yeah, the spirit, yeah, the whole. like aesthetic of a blind date. Like it was like, and no shade to the blind community. But I just, I just would love to see. I need to know what's going on.

You would not be in one of those pods and love is blind. Girl, no. I would open up. I would ask so many questions and then we would link up behind, behind the scenes. I would get kicked out.

Yeah. Because I don't think love is blind. Like, I need to know what do you look like. No. Are you attractive? Like, what is the thing. But you're not allowed to say that.

You're not allowed to see. That it does not work. It does not work. It does not work. And for the people. that it does work for, because there are success stories, there are still many couples that are still together. It's like 11, actually.

I'm a big fan. But for the people that it has worked for, they are horny for each other from the jump. 100%. Those, like, doors open, they see each other. They're like, yes, I can fuck. The ones who don't work are the ones who are like, no, I'm in love with their mind,

so I can twist myself into a knot, becoming attracted to them. Every woman's story. Yeah, don't give me sad. with Ashley and Lila. Oh, my God. Yeah. So I just need to know their name because me and my girls, we're like low-key FBI.

So I can get whatever they need. Like, if they, especially if they have a podcast, like, I want to know, what are you talking about? What do you, because I'm not going to waste my time. You know, like I have 38 years. I'm not playing no more. One time my friend told me that when she was in college, she studied abroad in London, she fell in love with a rugby player.

They were supposed to meet up, but then her phone, she didn't have a real phone. she had like a burner phone for being abroad. It died. She couldn't charge it so she couldn't meet up with him at the time and place they were supposed to because she couldn't figure out how to get there. And then she was telling me this story and she's like, yeah, and I never knew what happened to him. All I know is his name and that he played rugby. And I tracked this man down on, this is back in the day, on Facebook in about 25 for 30 minutes. I'm not even shitting you.

Like those were the only two pieces of information she gave me. And I was like, what year was this? And I was able to find his ass. She knew what color his jersey was, too. That's my jokes of women are like uncovering the truth and solving like cold cases. Have you seen Don't fuck with cats? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I couldn't. No, it was. Don't fuck with ladies on the internet who have too much time on their hands. You don't see a lot of harm because I don't fuck with animals. I'm not an animal person. But I don't wish them harm. You don't see harm being done to animals. No, no, no.

No, seriously, because some people are anti-an animals and they want to see harm. I don't want to see harm dumb. I just don't need a critter in my house. No, I feel me? That's what I say is I do not wish any a will on animals, but they are simply none of my business. No, absolutely. Somebody that's shit and pissing and can't tell me I love you and thank you. That has nothing to do with it.

No. You love it. But everybody always says that it was like, you have to see my baby Chrysanthemum. You have to see my little, you know, tangerine. Way too long. And I'm just like, baby. That was an issue at The Daily Show, because you know why people love them fucking dogs walking around where we eat, y'all. Come on.

Oh, yeah. And they love, they love to tell you, their mouth is actually the cleanest part of their body. And it's like, I don't know who started this. Yeah. But somebody needs to end it. Yeah. What is the question you would ask about the woman you were being set up with? Yeah.

So I was always just, so I struggled as a single. So when I was being set up, I was just like, let me. let's get this to happen. And I was always down for a blind date. I love the blind. You have told me this before. And when you're like asking me about it and you're like, I loved dating. It was incredible.

I was just like, I just sit down for an hour and I just learn about a person. Oh, I love that. Yeah. I got a kick out of just like, let's learn about this person. Sometimes like, sometimes they're being like, this is a psychopath. Yeah. Let's learn. Other times like, this is a person I really like.

This might work out. But both of those were fun scenarios to me as long as I, did something. So my question was always because every first date was the same for me which was what kind of pizza does she like? Because we're always going to go to Patsies. That's where I took every girl. Oh, that's your first date? And so the waiter's like, hello, Danny.

Another one. It's a revolve a door. Bad dates. We are going to start today with ex-male and her bad date story. Now, X-Mail, tell me a little bit about your dating style. Are you a serial monogamous? Have you dated around? a lot? Are you a slut? What's your, what's your story?

Here's the thing. I wish I had the the willpower and mindset of a whore. I really, I think it's so, it sounds so much fun to be like, I can go and have my way with the person. Joel, when I tell you, maybe I'm Jasmine Settlement, I will bust the windows out your car. As soon as you and I

engage in some adult sleepovers, we are together. I don't know how to my brain and my body is in wire and I know people that are like they're just like yeah we just have fun we just did thing it was fun we just did that we just hooked up I cannot do that I totally wish I know I'm so like I think

if I met someone like at a club and I was like okay let's go as soon as we get there it's time to go I'm like so what's your mom like where's your mom like where you're from I would just fucking kill the mood also like I'm a big germifold like we should shower you know like let's get some STDs crack in you know

like what's test I was like, Yeah, let's get some committee out here. Let's talk about it. Okay, baby, that's a little two sex positive, baby. That's sex next.

Yeah. Okay. But yeah, so I am a monogamous and have been monogamous my whole life. I'm not, you know, polyscience. I don't do that.

Absolutely not. And that is valid. Here's the thing. Most people that try to do it and a man that tried to approach me about it, you couldn't afford to do it. So I'm not only am I not into it.

You can't afford to do it because baby I'm in Delta One. Where is she going to be? Exactly. Absolutely. So what's going on? And also, I don't think, have y'all even seen the language around it? It's like the primary partner, secondary. Baby, it's a bottom bitch. I'm not doing that. I'm not being second fiddle to nobody. I'm non-monogamous with my partner, but I also, we are also not like someone who could do Polly for that reason. And again, like everyone's line is different. Everyone approaches love and relationships differently and whatever works for you and the people you've found. For sure. That is the end, the end of the day, the only thing that matters. But yeah, it is hard for me to my head around. That's a lot all the time, Joel. And then also, a lot of people is Polly because they ain't got nowhere to live.

That's true. I need a lot of studs. And I'm like, girl, you got three girls because one, you know, take you to Olive Garden on Tuesdays. The other bitch, you got your other like Taco Tuesday, bitch. And then this other bitch, you stay with her. And then you like bop around. This is your primary place to stay.

So it's just like, girl, I can't do it. So I don't have the energy for that. So yes, I am in a relationship now. I am not. Okay. I am open. But have you seen out here? It's trash.

I think my husband is a black gay man. Oh, 100%. Give me a mean butch queen. Down. We can be on two ends of the house. He can do what he does. I just need love and affection and we can go on dates. And I will be there to support you.

I'm lavender marriage. I'm very familiar with... Oh, is that the phrase? Lavender marriage, yeah. That's fun. I know a couple relationships that are like that. Unfortunately, I am sleeping with the husband. You know, I don't know how you'd feel about,

that part of it. So where in your timeline does your bad date story take place? Very early. I want to say it was my, it was my first date. Whoa. Yes, I was 18. 18.

19, 19, just turned 19. Yes. So, so I can tell it now. Yes. Okay, great. Okay, so y'all, so I went away to school in the South, right? I did not finish college because I was like,

where do you major and be in a school? star, right? They didn't have that. And so, you know, I'm a millennial. So it was like, you can't get nothing in life. You can't be anything unless you go to college. I was like, well, Beyonce and Janet Jackson didn't do it. So I'm not doing it. So while I was there and trying to pursue it, I was like, I want to, you know, dance, acting, sing every day that was like, well, you can major in English with a concentration in theater. I was like, girl, what do you, no, sing. Did you say you wanted to read to? No. No, I was like sing, sing, act dance right now. So no one in my family I went to college. I was the first person to go. I didn't research. Looking back at

high side, there were some people that told me things, different alumni. I just did not do my Googles. I did not research enough. I had no business being there. However, comma, while I was at the school in the south. Are we allowed to know what school this is? Huh? Are we allowed to know what school this is? Yes. It was Norfolk State. Okay. It was Norfolk State in Virginia. So while I was there, I met a guy who's from L.A. Oh. So they had like L.A. meetups and a lot of girls, because my hair was long in an Afro and a lot of girls there had like straight hair and I had like a Roscoe's had some chugs

so this girl was like you from LA and I was like how you know she was like this Roscoe had these chugs and you don't have like your hair is like not in a perm or like straight like the rest of the girls in the South I was like okay so I went to a West Coast meet up met this guy there right

so I met him we like caught a vibe but it wasn't nothing like you know detrimental like that my job remember I'm born and raised in church right okay like born and raised like very safe go to church you don't kiss though by like all of that, right?

No experience in dating. So he sent me a card on Valentine's Day. I was like, oh my God, this is so sweet. The car on, I forgot what it said. He wrote something. He tried to like make it rhyme. It was not rhyming. And I was like, okay, so you're not a rapper.

Or a reader. And then there was a condom in there. So I thought he was trying to tell a joke. He was like, we're going to use this next time I see you. Now, mind you, I never did nothing, right? Okay, I was scared to use a monostat suppository. You weren't dating in high school. school. You were courting in the presence of your parents.

100%. And also, too, Joe, I was always somebody like, I went to audition for Alvin Ailey straight out of high school. Their summer dance intensive, I started out as a dancer first and started acting around 12. So I always literally, a guy went to date me senior in high school, I said, I'm going to be a star on Broadway, so then what are you going to do? Like, I've always been focused on my career. So what happened was, he sent me that. And I was like, okay, I guess this is like a joke, don't know nothing. Scared to tell my mom, I'm scared to talk to mom about it. I was like, okay, I don't know what's going on here. And he was just like, I would like take you on a date.

So he was like, okay, I want to take you on a date. So in my mind, from the movies, you get fly as fuck. And I'm a fly bitch. So I was like, okay, I got my nails done, got my hair done. And, you know, back in the day, all you needed is your hair done, your nails done, and some lip gloss. So it wasn't like makeup and all that. It wasn't a full contour happening on your face. Lace wigs at 13.

Biggs girls are crazy. So I was like, I had a cute little rap. I had a new rockerware fit. I had me some Js on. and I was like, okay, we're going, it's going out. He picks me up, y'all. He has on basketball shorts and a white tee. What?

So I said, I said, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Basketball shorts and a white tee, he's going to, he's fucked up the timing. We're going to go home. He's going to get dressed. Oh. This is what I thought. I love our pure hearts. Oh, my God.

Just a baby. Positive thinking. Yes. So when we got there, I'm like, okay. And he was like, yeah, we're going to go to the house. I didn't think to ask questions. I made an assumption. I look like this and you look there's no way.

And this is, you have so much self-possession and like internal, like the confidence to be like, there's no way that this man showed up on the date looking like that. So clearly, logically, the only explanation is, is that we're about to go home so he can change. And I love that about you because my ass at 19 would have been like, oh, I guess that's, we're going to play some two on two basketball. We're going to go watch him play video games. Yeah, exactly. But it's bananas as the guy not to be like, because he could have made that audible.

Right. He could have audibled. He could have seen how, because like sometimes the first date it is like, let's keep a casual. There are certain women who are like, if you show up and you make it really intense, actually don't like that.

So sometimes you would play it back a little bit to be like, hey, we're just doing it. Wait, but once you see, you go, I'm going to go back home and change this really quick. That's kind of a cute moment, actually. You can match energy. The fact he didn't have that instinct. He doesn't have your quick.

Thinking, Danny. Well, I'm incredibly quick on my feet, unfortunately. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did not have that. So we get to the house. Okay, we pull him to the house. And so he was like, okay, I'm about to go cook. So I'm like, okay, so the date is in the house.

Okay. Is this a nice house, Victorian mansion? It's like an old school. I loved it. I loved the house. It's like an old school black L.A. house. Like this is like, it's like a very specific, like, the way the, um, you always have that, like, uh, that woman who's like exhausted like this on the, um, on the couch sitting right there.

You have like emergency numbers when in doubt call first John two or four. You see black Jesus, like it smells like incense. You see like the black panther wicker chair. Like, it's a very old school black stuff. Christmas time, you better believe there ain't a white Santa in sight. Oh, no, baby. Absolutely not. So, um, so yeah. So, so, yeah. So, so I. I'm born and raised a South Strait. I should say that too. So, yeah, so that's where his house is. His house is.

Well, it wasn't his house. Okay. Okay. So, let's, we're jumping. So I start seeing all these trophies, right? So I get nosy because I'm like, well, you didn't left me. I'm walking around a house. I don't know you let me see.

And I have trophies in my house too. You know my mama has a, you know, basketball, when you won most valuable player, all of that. I start looking closely at the, of course. Of course. Of course, we all have one of those. Yeah. Okay. So I start looking at all the trophies, and I notice that their trophies.

and I notice that there are trophies from the Players Ball, right? Now, for all the non-black listeners out there, Players' Ball is something that I may or may not know because my family may or may not allegedly have been in the industry of pimping. Okay? So, the Players Ball. Church and the Players Ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She contains multitudes.

She contains multitudes. Multitudes. Yeah, so the Players' Ball is where if you ever heard of Bishop, Magidon Juan, you've seen a black man in all. Green stepping out. Have you ever seen that or seen the meme or anything like that? That's what, yes, I love that the black man. That work for production is Rick Rowland. And Kenny knows, absolutely.

Okay. So I see all these awards, right, in participation. And I said, oh, my God. This is this motherfucker trying to get me to be a part of this industry. That's where my brain went, right? Because I have family that may or may not be a part of said industry. So I know how recruiting works And I was like, wait, girl, you don't know how to fuck

I don't know how to suck dick, I don't know how to do that girl What's supposed to happen? Girl, what they might be a discount? You'd be a discount for sure. Steed discount. Yeah, wait, steep discount. It's like when you get your teeth pulled by a trainee Like who's not a real dentist yet? I always like that your instinct wasn't like I don't want to be involved

But your instinct was like I'll be a bad product Yeah, I was like I'm looking up for you Yeah, because I'm trying to how do I pitch myself? How do I tell him like, yeah, this I'm not the one for you? This ain't it. So he comes out still, white tea, basketball shorts, came out with some cookies. He said he was going to cook.

Now, mind you, when you say go cook, at minimum, especially L.A., a staple in everybody's house. You can go to anybody who's black or Latino or actually Asia, because hell of my Filipino homies. Everything in your house is always ready to make tacos. We always have every item that you need to make tacos. We always have it. So at minimum, I thought he was doing that. came out with cookies and warm capricans warm not even wild cherry clock it he came out with Pacific cooler and great

who the fuck does that right raggedy criminal so now I'm mad I'm on my sidekick I had a pink one and I'm writing in a way message I'm going in I'm going in like what the fuck is this with do woo he was like okay let's watch this season finale of flavor of love right well so he's got me back So we're watching the season finale of flavor of love. And I don't know at what point when pumpkin spit at New York if that got him hotty-toddy. But all of a sudden there's a tongue in my mouth. Right?

Buy pumpkin. Buy pumpkin. So there's a tongue in my mouth. I said, whoa. You know? I don't know. And it wasn't like, okay, he was like, I'm not trying to make a see. He wasn't like being a predator.

He wasn't trying to attack me. I really thought there was the lack of some social cues. I don't know what he thought. I'm just like, was so like, uh-uh. And I immediately was like, take me home now.

Take me home now. And he took me home. And that was it. And that was my very first date. And that was a very bad day. How long did you go? Compensation. Yeah.

How long did you go with before your second date? How to, oh, oh, girl. I want to say it was a good five years. Jesus. He sent you back. Oh,

Yeah, and that date was really bad as well. He was a catfish. Oh my God. I was older at that time, so I really put that shit on. I used to have short, like a short fade, and it was pink. And as you see, pink's my favorite color. And I had all black with pink hair. I had beat my face, and that's when I used to pump, bitch.

I used to be in six-inch heels all motherfucking day. Okay. Which one is X's camera? This one right here? Uh-huh. Okay. I want you to look in the camera. Okay.

And I want everyone at home watching this. to look at the prize to be won sitting in this chair and it is over. It is enough. I've had enough of this woman having bad dates. Period. Oh, oh my God. Joel, I just think, and if you're listening right here, if you about 6'3, dark skin, chocolate, gay straight or buy.

Bad dates. Let's turn now to our second storyteller. Danny Jollahs. Same question that I gave to X. What's your general situation around? relationships, love, et cetera. You know, so I was, like, serially single and struggling. I was a struggle of a dater.

And then made a hard writer. And then I discovered pizza. But, like, the pizza thing was, like, I was so just, like, desperate to get them there. And, like, so I, because I was such a loser in high school. That's true. Came around. Cool now. But I.

He said, don't worry. The personality, it figured. It was a slow get. Leave it on. Yeah, I say this on stage. This personality did not thrive in the Virginia public school system. And so we struggled. And so by the time I got to college and then I just was like anybody willing to go on to anybody.

And then I just made a hard right turn it to marriage. And now I'm married and like fully locked out of the game. How many people did you, would you say you had a serious relationships with before your marriage? Serious relationships. Three. Three? Okay. Where in your timeline does your story take place?

place. My story takes place. This is in Raisum graduating college. And this is when I'm just starting to get it down. And I'm like trying to get out of this kind of awkward place. And like the story I always say is like kind of, this is like a little story, but like the thing I always said about me dating, this girl once said it to me. And we were like together and she got really frustrated with me. And she was like, I don't get you. You're open, but you're impenetrable. Ooh. And that, like, and I was like, I'll never not think about this moment.

This will be, this will be what I think about for the rest of my life. I'm so glad that resonated with you because I don't quite understand what she means by that. I unfortunately understand it completely. Women, I'm like, you're like opening, you're open your front door to your house, but all the rooms are locked. I'll say to you, I'm feeling very vulnerable in this moment. But my face will be like this and my voice will be like this. And you'll be like, but you're not really giving me emotion. You're not open.

You're not really saying the thing. You're saying you're saying the words. But not living it. I see. And that was really where I was at. And I just was so excited. So this story takes place right around there. And it was, they were, we had, we, I lived with three of the guys.

College. And there were some girls over. One was very cute. We started talking. I started working my little charm. A little Danny charm. And I remember we were like in a bedroom together, but we weren't like doing anything. It was just like talking.

I remember I remember distinctly discussing the book C Biscuit, which is aphrodisiac. Oh, baby, that gets the girl's gomp. Oh, baby. Talk about foreplay, Danny. What got it on live? Let me tell you something. Nothing is more attractive. than passion, and let me tell you, there's not a better book

on this plan than the book C-Biscuit. Sea Biscuit. Oh, it's the best story you'll ever read. Laura Hilla-Brandt. You will love this book. Wow, okay. So I'm talking to her about C-Biscuit. And you're like, the movie was shit.

Don't even get me started on that adaptation. The movie was fine. Didn't capture any of the magic of the book. It doesn't capture the book. And so I'm sorry, you know, I felt like I was, I feel like I was sort of winning her over. around this time. And I'm sort of like starting to like do the longer looks, like trying to see if there's a little bit of something back to let me know we can kiss, not getting it.

And I'm like getting close to the point of like, oh no. Good for you for listening to that though. Let me tell you, a lot of people think I'm not getting any of the right signals here, but I'm just going to go for it anyway. Oh, I'm in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, I'll... The receiver has been turned off.

I'll do a look to your eyes, look to your mouth, look back to your eyes, 75 times if I have to. That's good, though, Danny. No, that's good. Yeah, yeah. No, I think it's fair. But it's all I can do. All I can do. And then, like, I remember there were sometimes girls and be like, he didn't make a move.

And I was like, I couldn't have been clear. No. Because you don't want to be like, yeah, like, you want to be, like, can we? I want to, it's like... No, but then we get awkward. Then it gets all weird. Yeah. Yeah.

The situations in which. saying to someone or whispering to someone, I really want to kiss you right now or can I kiss you right now. It's actually very narrow because it can work and it can be sexy when a guy's like, oh, I really want to kiss you right now.

But that's different. I'm being like, can I kiss? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been yelled at for this hot take before. This is beyond me yelled at before. I believe on another podcast. I got yelled at for this opinion. But I end by many women.

Whose podcast was it, by the way? By many women, I've been yelled at because I've always said to women, if you hear a guy say, do you want to kiss? For the record, he's been probably giving you signals for 30 minutes

and he's at his wit's end. Oh. For the record, you're missing a lot of signals. That guy is literally hit the point of, I'm going to say the cartoonishly embarrassing. This goes back to the whole point. Manor from Mars,

whenever I'm Venus, okay? You're speaking two different languages. Why don't we do a little internal looking? What point might we have missed that led to him asking that question? Could we have missed something? So you've been looking at this girl's lips and her eyes. She's giving me nothing.

I'm getting close to the, do you want to kiss me? After C-Biscuit, this is just crazy. And then she goes, and then she goes, she looks at me and she goes, do you want to go to the bathroom? Oh. With me? Oh, with me. You want to go to the bathroom? Not with me.

Do you want to go to the bathroom? And I went, there's people around. So I was like, okay. I'm desperate. So I was like, okay. And so we got up and she led the way and I followed her. And, you know, I was pretty scared. This is so erotic.

It was pretty, yeah, it was pretty erotic. And she went to the bathroom and I went behind her and then, you know, I closed the door. And she looked at me and she was like surprised. And then I was like, what? And then she said, what? And I said, well, I just said, she said, I have to go to the bathroom. and then I ran. Wait, but no girl, you said, do you want to go to the bathroom?

Why would you, if I didn't go to the bathroom? There was an implied. We should go to the bathroom. She tricked your ass. She tricked my ass. That's on her. And I was mortified. I went, oh, my God.

And then I left. I, like, took a second to be like, there's got to be a way to recover this. She left that bathroom. And I believe left the party immediately. And so I never saw her again. She invited you to the bathroom. I felt she did. There's a chance I miss heard, but I certainly don't think I did.

And it was horrific. And that was when I was like, I meant my wits end with this day in world. It's so interesting. How did you get in the bathroom? Like, that's my thing. I've entered a lot of bathrooms. I would feel a body. It wasn't until the turn

Because I'll never forget Because if you can believe This moment is hard Locked in my brain Oh yeah I can never forget this moment So I remember the turn to my face She was

Wait because we're looking here It's C-Biscuit Yeah Can we kiss? Can we kiss? Can we not kiss? I'm looking at you and I say Do you want to go to the bathroom? I'm sorry Young lady

You gaslit Danny Period No you was one of the first First women to do it And you know what, that's equality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my thing is, yeah, queen. Yeah, some of this.

But yeah, Daddy, I don't think you were wrong for that. No. I hope you don't look. In retrospect, I think I could have done a what? First of all, here's the thing, though. I know many of your girls that get down in the bathroom. Oh, no, real. I've read books.

If someone said to me, do you want to go, do you want to go to the bathroom? I know one of two things is about to happen in the next five minutes. Dicks are being sucked or drugs are being done. Okay? That is the only reason you would say, do you want to go to the bathroom to someone you're sitting at a party with flirting? Like, it's it. That's it.

And I'm looking dead at you. No, you didn't misread that. And also, too, this is what get me. If you, soon as you start walking with me, we're not even making it into the bathroom. I'm like, oh, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't get over the fact that I'm fully in the bathroom when this, when she does the term. That's why I think she was fucking with you.

I think she might want to, she might want to get down with the get down, but she might have been nervous because you got to watch them girls. Because I don't have them church girls who like to sit here and act like they don't want to do anything nasty, but they really be dick-sucking virgins. Right. Right. They had nothing in their vagina. So I see her as being somebody like, oh, okay, you know what? I think I can.

I think I can. As soon as we get in there, she's like, no, I said, I. Girl, you're lying. I have another scenario. And, Danny, I hate to do this to you. Please. There's nothing. But, you know, the party, it's like, moody.

it's romantic, you're talking, you're vibing. She's like, let's go to the bathroom. You get into the bathroom. She turns on that light, that awful bathroom. She saw me. Overhead to the side. It's not, it's not impossible. And she, and she still did wrong by not saying, but she did, she might have, you know,

the bathroom light is just not flattering to anyone. It's not flattering to anyone. Oh my God. Could happen to any of us. I'm a good man the second she said, I said, then I'm leaving this environment. And so I left immediately. And but.

Purple heart for you for doing what the woman asked. I said, then I'm out of here. Bad dates. Dates. Let's talk now about your bad date story. You've told us before on the pod a little bit about your dating history. We just found out you were going on 100 hinge dates. No, not 100.

I know. I'm kidding. I was like, who has the time? I'm so busy. But you're currently. single. I'm currently single. You've been in a couple relationships. Yeah, I've been a couple long, I've been in probably like four long-term relationships, but now I'm at a point where I want to get married and have a child. And I've been, and I've been in that place for like probably two years,

but I'm always touring and I'm the sleepiest bitch you've ever met. So if I have like a free night, the last thing I want to do is like go on a day, but I do have to. What if the date is a picnic in your bed? That sounds really nice. You get out the bed blanket. Yeah. Or the eating blanket. If I already knew I liked them, then I would be thrilled for that. That would be a dream country. Picnic in the bed.

I've done it before. It's great. Yeah. No, that's sexy and thoughtful for my chronic fatigue. So you want to get married. You want to have the baby. You're sort of locking in, but your lifestyle makes it difficult. Yeah, my lifestyle makes it difficult because I'm like such a sub.

So I like to, and I grew up around like very masculine men. What do you mean such a sub? Like, like, because I'm a stand-up comic. I have to be such like an alpha in my. life. Like I like to really feel like a woman when like a gentleman because I have older brothers. Like I see the way they they treated their like women and wives. And like yeah, I want to feel feminine in that scenario. Because I'm not that in the rest of my life. It's such a male dominated feel that we're in. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, wait, am I talking about my date? Well,

now you should be talking about your date. I'm just going to move us in there. Yeah, yeah. Where in your timeline does your date take place? Okay, this one was when I was really young. I think I told them I was going to talk about it, but I'm going to talk about a different one. And this was when I was a commercial real estate broker, if you can believe it. We all live different lives. Yeah. So many different lives.

I've had 25 lives. Same. And, you know, everyone was like, because where I'm from Orange County, shred. All the dudes there do. do commercial real estate. It's like the West Coast Finance. And so everyone told me, like, I had just graduated college and I was

living at home and I really wanted to move out and someone offered me a job and I really didn't want to do it, but I was like, okay, whatever. My family's like, you're going to hate this. I was cold calling. They're like, are you 12? Are you legally allowed to work? No, but I'd go on a date with like one of these

like guys and he was pretty nice. I don't know. They were all hot. They all surf, but whatever. I was so young. And we go on a day to a cool old, like, red booth, Newport Beach establishment. That's where I was living at the time. Fancy, fancy, fancy. And I'm wearing so many pencil skirts. I'm wearing heels every day. Yes, I know the era. Yeah. I'm wearing a skirt suits. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So we go on a day, like, we get, like, hammered because those were the drinking days. Just absolutely, I don't know what it was. Like probably Moscow mules. It's just like, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're talking square footage. We're talking deals. You know, whatever. And then he's like, you know, they all have the side part. Absolutely. Yeah, they all have the side part. Their clothes are all fitted.

Anyways, so we go after it. And we're like having a good time. Like, I don't know how I feel about if I like, like him or whatever. But he's cute. We're having fun. And he's like, oh, you want to go on my friend's boat. They're over at like this bar. So you want to, he wants to take you.

to a second location that's on the sea. Yeah, but it was in the harder. And they're like, I've been drinking. And I'm 23. So you're about to be. Natalie Wooded right off the side of that boat. Yeah. There are no laws.

Yeah. Yeah, I know. Maritime laws. So he's like, oh, yeah, I have friends. And like, I knew some of these people. So I was like, sure. Like, I'm wasted, whatever, 23-year-olds. Yeah, yellow.

Yeah. The date was, like, from work. So I'm, like, wearing one of these fucking, um. skirt suits. Skirt suits. Pets on skirts. And Taylor loft. Oh, yes.

Yes. Taylor loft up my fucking ass. Yeah. So then we get on this boat. It's a bunch of like other drunk dudes in the business. But like I know a lot of them. And the owner of the boat, um, I'm drunk at this point. Um, there was like some rumors about him.

And I was like, ugh, he's like so skeezy. And then I'm telling someone, I'm telling someone. Yeah. I can't believe this guy cheated on his wife. And the guy whose boat it was, he goes, looks, taps me on the shoulder and goes, excuse me? And you're at sea right now. And you're on his boat. I'm on his boat.

And I'm the only girl also. Ooh. And I go, I was one of those moments, like maybe like one of two or three in my life where you're just so caught, like, what do you even say? And I go, I'm sorry, sir, I'm 23 and you're killing my dreams. Just sitting there going same company as I die. Yeah, yeah. And then I think he was so shocked by my panic.

Just, no, that's a good. Knee jerk. It was from the depths of my soul was so honest because I had, it was like do or die in that moment. It's such a method to just scream and confuse. just confuse them, bewilder them, and then they'll forget why they were mad. It was the truth.

Because in his mind, he didn't say much to get that. I love that he didn't say, why are you lying? Yeah, yeah. I love that he didn't say it. He said, excuse me? But that's also why in his mind he's got to be like, where did that come from? I hadn't even yet, like, gone in.

No, he knew for a lot. Well, first of all, he was being way too flirty with me and was much, much older. And, like, no, he was not denying it at all. he knew. He just didn't like you were talking about it. Yes, yes. On his boat.

Of course, I didn't think that he heard me or was right. Right. Right. Which is, this is before you realized what you were working with vocally, I guess. Because, Blair, I don't know if I've never not heard she. That's really nice. I can whisper sometimes. Prove it.

Yeah, but like I was just, oh my God, the horror. Like, my whole body froze. Like, I was like, yeah, I'm about to be thrown over this fucking bow. And my date was like, oh my God, I can't even believe this. But I lived to tell the tale, and I saw that man many times after. And each time, oh, not the date. But, yeah, no, the date we ended up being friends. The man who killed your dreams.

Yeah, yeah, the cheater, the boat cheater. And I would be like, hello, mister. Hello, Mr. Boat Cheater. I'd always call him Mr. to make him feel like much older than me. That is so good and smart, unless they're into that. Yeah. To shut it down so he wouldn't try to highlight you. I don't think it bothered him.

even like he Disgusting. In fact that might He was probably attracted to. Yeah, but the horror in me like the fighter flight

that I felt like I still can remember it like it was yesterday was like so I know you're a strong swimmer I'm surprised you didn't dive right into the water and swim to shore.

If it wasn't 11 p.m. at night I would have gone straight in you would have been doing the backstroke in your pencil skirt. Yeah. I would have a paddleboarded my ass right back to

Sure. Well, what did you learn from your experience, Blair? Just tell the truth. Tell the truth. And, you know, the truth always comes out. So if you're a cheater, careful, there's 23-year girls around. Yeah. You know, that's what I fucking learned. How about you don't cheat, bitch?

Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good lesson to end on, I will say. And what wise words from Blair Socky? Thank you so much. Thank you, Joel. Bad Dates. Listen, guys, this has been the pod. If you liked what you heard, please,

seek us out and give us a five-star rating and review. It helps other people find the podcast. Now, X-Mayo, where can the people find you? What are you doing these days? What would you like them to know? Please follow me on $80 in a suitcase. Also, I have a community-oriented-based organization called Who Made the Potato Salad. We do a sketch comedy show, but I also do a lot of community-based work to help black and brown and people of color to get more agency and get more jobs in this business.

We did a workshop with my former place of work, The Daily Show, and it assisted in two black women getting hired at the Daily Show. And one of them is now, I like Tamron Hall and different things like that. So, yeah, so I'm in Wonder Man. It's a Marvel series. It comes out. Yes, it's dope as fuck. Yes, yes, yes, me and Yaya the Great.

So, yeah, it comes out January 27th. I'm in the Scrubs reboot, which comes out of February. I would y'all get a boosted. And we're going to get a fucking. We're going to be the fucking scene. And then we're also, I'm also in Lute. They also stars the Joe Kimbooster. So, yeah, you guys can be on the lookout for that.

Love, love, love. Danny Jalas, what are you doing these days? What do you want to promote? And what are you doing to make the world a better place like X's? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Please come see. At Danny Jollis and all social media.

Just follow me. That's the best thing you can do. And that really helps. And then the only thing I'll say is stand up. up comedy is like hockey. It is fun to watch on TV, but it is so much better in person. So please look up your local comedy club. Make sure find a comic that looks interesting.

Make sure you can find 10 minutes uninterrupted of material online. If you can find 10 minutes uninterrupted of them doing actual stand-up comedy, buy a ticket right now. Go see live stand-up comedy. You'll never stop going. You'll be obsessed. Amen, amen, amen. And I'm so glad you specified 10 minutes of sustained comedy.

Yeah, I'm not to add that to the plug. Not a 30 second clip where they're talking to someone in the audience and the person in the audience is funnier than they are. If your clip opens with the person in the crowd going, I don't like this. I would say to the person watching that clip, what do you think happened before that moment? True. Okay. Blair Saki. My love.

Thank you, Joe. Where are you going to be these days? What are you doing? What do you want people to know? Well, please follow me at Blair Soki, BLAI-R, S-O-C-C-I, all platforms. I post all my tour dates there. And then also I have a podcast launching November 26 in two weeks called Spaced Out with Blairsaki. And I would love for you guys to follow and subscribe.

Yes. Okay. So that's it for our episode. I'm Joel Kim Booster. Once again, rate us and review five stars. Please. And until next week, I will be back with more. Tales from the trenches of Bad Dates, etc.

Goodbye. Woo! Bad Dates is a production of smartless media created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited, and engineered by Devin Torrey Bryan. Produced by Ann Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath.

Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana. Executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Baitman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Komensky. Music by Cushy and Evan Schlever. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues,

please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3-283. That's 984-265-3-283. That's all for this week. We will be back for more.