Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Re-release: Tell Him It’s A Picnic! (w/ Laganja Estranja, Hannah Pilkes, and Maxx Eddy)

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

The Bad Dates feed is under construction! In the meantime, please enjoy a repeat performance of this episode of Bad Dates, as host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians Hannah Pilkes and Max Eddy and drag legend Laganja Estranja to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Laganja is in the mood for street meat but they might need a quick bath, Hannah is dating a time traveller, that’s kind of the only explanation, and Maxx initially just has some questions about the spelling.   Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.  Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates.   Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 3 Laganja Estranja: @laganjaestranja on all socials, except for TikTok where some child stole it, check her website for more info Hannah Pilkes: @hannahpilkes on Insta, Leanne on Netflix Maxx Eddy: @maxxeddy on socials Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Heart. Hello, Bad Dates listeners. Producer Devin here with another repeat performance. While we have our proverbial contractors renovating this feed with something fun and on topic and, oh, just very exciting. We'll tell you more about it in just a few weeks. But for now, this is a favorite recent episode from last August with the fantastic panel of Lagange Estrangea, Hannah Pilkis, and Max Eddie, whose indignant delivery of the phrase, tell him it's a picnic, gives this episode. its title. So please enjoy. We'll be back with new things so shortly.

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another edition of Bad Dates. I'm your host, Joel Kimbooster. We are coming at you again from the Serious XM Studios. You might see some video components to this. Hopefully the cameras are not as close to my face as they were in some of the previous content that we've released because I do not need you seeing every single acne scar on my face. Um, HD was not very kind to me. That's all I'll say. Um, now enough with the complaints. If you are just tuning into our podcast for the very first time, bad dates is, well, it's exactly as it sounds. It's exactly the title. We bring in comedians and people of interest and drag queens, maybe, to talk about their bad date stories. And now, um, let's be, get this clear up top, bad dates. They can encompass a lot of different things. It can be a first date. It can be a three year long relationship. It. It

It can be a marriage that fell apart, or it can be a one-night stand hookup, because quite frankly, if we didn't include those, I would have no business hosting this podcast. So, on to our guests. I'm really, really excited for this panel today. I'm so excited that I get to get tactile with them all. I can touch that. I can reach out and touch them. We can reach out and touch each other. So amazing. This first person joining me today is a world-class choreographer and drag queen who you saw compete in Rupal's Drag Race and hosts her own show. on World of Wonder, I know her as Jay because she's my friend, but you know her as LaGangea Estrangea. What's good girl? Hello, my love. How are you doing? I'm so excited to be here.

I'm so excited. Also glad that you included hookups because otherwise I too would have no reason to be here. I was like, yeah, I have a feeling LaGange is going to bring a story. She's lived some lives. She's lived some lives. I'm ready. Very ready for that. Joining us next, we have an actress from shows like Dropout TV, comedy, bang,

bang and after midnight. And now she's in a brand new hit series, Leanne, which is streaming on Netflix. Now it's Hannah Pilkis. Hello, Hannah. And thank you for correcting me on the pronunciation of your last name. Because for all the time I've known you, I've been saying Pilks.

And I think, and that's on me because for years when people said Pilks, I went, no, race. Yeah, no. And all it takes is a hit Netflix show to give you the confidence to correct people on the pronunciation. All it took was Leanne. Thanks, Leanne Morgan. Love it. Welcome, Hannah. Can't wait to hear your tale. And finally, last but certainly not least, we welcome a stand-up comedian who's performed in the Netflix's joke festival, and he just appeared as one of the new faces of comedy at the Montreal Comedy Festival. It's Max. You got it. Max Edy. Eddie. Oh, so close. When I get on Netflix show. You corrected yourself. That's awesome. I was taught to stand strong.

This is, I mean, not to go all. woke, but it is like, you're a man, she's a woman, socially. And what am I? I saw you really. Yeah, you got on that one, sweetie. Am I allowed to say anything I want? I'm a tranny. It's okay.

We can say it. My eyes just glossed over just now. I was like, what is happening? Max Eddie, thank you so much for joining me. New friend Max Eddie, very happy to have you here. For those of you don't know at home, the JFL, Montreal New Faces Showcase is a huge. huge deal. I myself was a new face, and I honestly do think it launched my career. So Max, Eddie, you are going to produce a movie for Hulu about a bunch of gay guys on Fire Island any day now.

Okay. That sounds great. Yeah. In your wheelhouse, for sure. All right. So before we get into your bad date stories, I wanted to start off as we do every week. We put together a panel of relationship experts that came up with a bunch of questions that you could ask your, uh, first date or your, you know, early days partner. And it's supposed to indicate some amount of, um, what is that word? Um, vulnerability. Compatibility. Oh, compatibility. Good pull. Good pull. Um, and so today's question, and we can adjust it a little bit, depending on what your situation is, but what was the last ridiculous argument? Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid bullshit argument. You got in with a partner, person you were dating or hookup. That was completely your fault. And did you,

admit to being wrong. Bad dates. We'll start with Max. Okay. So I'm going to start mine with a piece of advice. If you're going to send someone a nude, make sure you read the last text they sent you first. Uh-huh.

So what happened, it was a situation ship about a year ago. I was doing a show in Austin. I came back. I was a little drunk. I was like, oh, I'm going to send a little sexy picture of myself. to this girl I'm seeing, and I decided to send a picture where I was naked, but my crotch was covered with the Gideon Bible. Oh, obviously. You've got to cover the goods. Exactly. Tastful, artistic, beautiful. And then I went back, like right when I sent the picture,

I didn't go into the text to see what she had sent me. But when the picture sent, it went to the text. And the most recent text she had sent me was, I think we need to work on how we communicate. And I was like, I immediately started texting like, hey, I didn't, so I didn't know that that was going to be that. I'm not suggesting that that's the way we communicate going forward. That's not what I'm going for here. You naked, um, holding a Bible. Exactly. But a picture does say a thousand words. So did you, did she respond to that? She was like, what the fuck is this? And, and did you, did the situation ship blossom from this point forward? Weirdly no. Hard to come back from. Hard to come back from that. All right. Well, Hannah, um, what about you?

What is the most, what is the dumbest argument you've ever gotten in with a partner? And did you admit you were wrong? You know, I'm an incredibly sensitive person to a detriment. I'm an external processor, whether I like it or not. And my husband went home with my family, was like getting to know them. And I was introducing him to one of my favorite movies, the classic John Cusack, Kate Back in So Films, Serendipity. Oh, I want to say of 2001. Yes.

No, I'm not sponsored by that. No, no, no. I just remember her scarf on the cover. Yes. an amazing scarf. So I'm watching Serendipity. And I was like, no pressure to like it. But you know when you're checking in with your partner every minute or so to see how they're responding to it.

So my husband made eye contact with my dad and they started riffing on it. Honey. I stormed upstairs. My sister and I started sobbing. I don't know why we had this visceral response. You brought your sister into this as well? I don't know why we were. It's such a formative part of our.

our upbringing, that the fact that there was any jabs at serendipity, we, like, turned into women on the verge. Like, I don't know. You can't like serenipity. It's like a really like housing. And you said husband in the present tense. So this makes me feel that despite this display, he said, that's the one for me. He said, I'm going to stick around. No worries. Because he's an incredibly internal process. So we even the other out. I love that. If it wasn't for me, I don't think they would ever process anything. I think it would just get stuffed way down. and maybe on their deathbed, they'd be like, this bothered me, you know. That is, those are, those are how domestic terrorists are created.

Wow. So thank God he found you. Did you admit that you were wrong or have you held it? You know, I think if you go on rotten tomatoes, I think it's very clear. Most people don't like that movie. So I would argue that, you know, Greg is probably in the right, but I stand by my, I stand by my choices. As you should. As you should.

Yes, we support you. Thank you. Finally, Lagangea, have you ever gotten in this, stupid fight that is your fault with a partner or anyone in your life. Sure, most of them. Yeah. Yeah, I would say, yeah, nine times out of ten, I'm the one in the wrong, who is just like fiercely ten toes down, like, I'm not wrong.

We're not late because of me, but it was me. It was you. It was me. And I will admit that I'm wrong. I will. The sex is better when you just give them what they want, which is you're right, Daddy. I'm so sorry. I actually disagree.

Oh, really? I like a little fight. You like being told wrong. Exactly. I don't get a minute. Not a gender. It sounds like you'd do well on reality. Sounds perfect.

All right. Well, that has been this, though I guess for me, my last, what is the last stupid fight that I got in with my partner? It is probably because he refluffed this beanbag chair that we have at home. And now it doesn't feel the same as it did before. And I got really upset with him. for fluffing the beanbag chair. And now I can't figure out how to get it. Yeah.

And that's what it is. Thank you. Thank you. Bad dates. Now it's time for what everybody came here for the story portion of the day. And we're going to start with Agonja Estrangeant. Now, Lagange, before you dive into your story, can you give the listeners and me a little bit of context for where you're at right now, relationship-wise?

With dating? Yeah. Well, I'm transvestigating online dating. Yeah. It's new for me. It's very interesting. Title of that. Transvest.

I think you'll need to have me back when I have done more research in the field. Yes, yes. But yeah, so I am currently open to dating in Los Angeles and then open to hooking up everywhere else. Love that. And have you had relationships in the past or had situations? What is your vibe? Are you a serial monogamist? Are you a girl that gets around?

Right. Well, before RuPaul's Drag Race, I was a serial monogamous. My longest relationship was five years. the only time I've ever been in love, still to this day, love my life. And then after him, it was three years, and then after him it was two years. So just kept getting less and less. But those are still, those were wrong. They were fierce.

And then I got on TV and that kind of ruined it all. And then became trans, which really ruined it all. So it's been a dark, dark winding road down. But you know, we're looking forward to what is to come and who is to come. Well, and I think the future is bright. I think the future is bright. I do too. So where in your history, where in your timeline does this story take place?

Oh, gosh. Well, I decided to go with more of a recent story because I feel more recent hookups are just much more fun than back in the day. Yes. Yes. So my story takes place in the Big Apple, New York City. It was a very cold night and I was wearing very little. and I was libeated. You know, I had had some refreshments.

What are we talking? What are we talking? I love the very scientific. Yeah. You know, there had been some tequila that might have been flowing through my mouth. And that'll get you. It will, always does.

And, you know, trade at the club was just not serving. That no one was delivering what the girl was looking for. And I feel like with context, because they can figure it out. But for Hannah and Max's benefit, give us a quick, rundown on what trade is. Okay. Well, trade can be described in many different ways. It depends on what queer you ask.

But originally, trade was the idea of someone who was very masks presenting and someone you would like trade with your girlfriend, hence the name. So it would be like, oh, I've had that piece of trade. Like, I've had him too. He is, you know, a chaser or he's one of the ones who goes after the dolls. So now it sort of just means like... RuPaul's Drag Race has sort of watered it down to a hot guy. Just a hot guy, right. But classic trade. What I'm looking for is giving very DL.

It's giving very straight. He's been around the block with some of your girls. That's right. Yes. That's right. Perfect. So the club was not giving that. It was full of cissies and wigs.

And I was not featuring that. So I decided, you know, that I was going to go home and get on the apps and see what maybe, you know, I could scrounge up there. A classic American love story. Well, now on my way home, there was a lovely and I believe the appropriate term. term this day is houseless man. I have been known to give back to the streets. You know, I'm not a street walker, but I am a street talker and I do love some street meat, you know, I really do. I think sometimes you just got to roll up the antibacterial and get in there. You just don't know what you're missing unless you give it a try. So I just want to be clear here so that, you know,

the listeners don't misinterpret you. Sure. You're not talking about a $13 hot dog outside of Akbar. you're talking about... I'm talking about both. I love all forms of street. You know, right. I love it all. But right, so no, I am talking about a person. He was very attractive.

He was giving that, you know, heroin chic look I love, which was very like, you know, dark circles under the eyes. Reservoir doll. You know, like after shave vibrations. The scruff was out. The clothes were giving like very like resident eve. you know, torn apocalyptic. It was a vibe.

Trade. Trade. Exactly. See? Look at him. It was trade. All right learning. And so he was literally right outside my hotel.

And I just felt like it was a sign from God herself that this was who I was, you know, meant to take home. I mean, the convenience alone. The convenience alone. Who needs an app when you have a doorman? Yeah. Why get Uber eats when you got something in the fridge? Hello. Exactly.

So I, you know, began chatting with this gentleman. He had a very heavy accent. Don't ask me to place it. I couldn't. But it was an accent. And that was all I needed. You're available. You've got an accent.

You're hot. Let's go. So we went up to my room. Now, I usually make trade bathe because I don't know where trade has been. Yeah. Now, especially with this gentleman, the bathing was. It's a little bit more loaded. It needed to happen.

So we go into the bathroom. You know, we're being very sexy. I'm, you know, giving the full show, the full. shower fantasy. And when he takes off his pants, there is something stuck to his private parts.

I couldn't tell what, because it was still in the underwear, but I could tell there was things that were happening down there, and I was excited. Give me a stuff as a twist. And I'm excited. We need more details before we know I need to understand the word stuff. Well, you know, like dick print, right?

Like dick print. So like the dick print was giving more like etch a sketch. Like it wasn't like a full A light bright It wasn't like a full print It was giving like There was things I just knew I knew I was about to unwrap

There's more in there than just the meat you've ordered Correct. Yeah So when the pants came down I discovered what was stuck To this person's penis Was tissue paper Like paper towel

Like you know toilet paper It was some sort of Something that we had probably used To clean ourselves and then for some reason did not take that off. Like maybe it was a quick white. I've heard it on the shoe.

It makes sense on the shoe coming out of the bathroom. But on the penis? But on the peen was the pain. Did he have an especially talented foreskin that was grabbing onto this? Well, I will let you know that any guy I'm taking home does have foreskin. Okay. Yes. We're learning a lot.

I live for that life. I don't remember if this one had four skin because I just remember the toilet paper piece. Yeah. I mean, he had four skin. It was just a toilet paper. It was a bio. gradeable force. Right.

Right. So, you know, like a good reuse. Yeah. Who knows? So like a good non-judgmental girl, I proceeded to, you know, get him in the shower and make sure he was clean. Unwrap. Unwrapped.

Fully just skin, you know, skin on skin action. And then, you know, I fucked him. Oh. Well, he fucked me. I don't talk. Well, thank God you specified because people were swerving off the road. I know. They were getting excited.

They said they were getting excited. Clawing and serious. Right. Yeah, no. My girl's stick is very claustophobic. Okay, so here's my question. Where did the date turn bad? Well, I think having that stuck to your penis is probably not great.

I think that that left a really memorable moment. That says way more about me than it doesn't about you. Right. Yeah. So I think that's where it turned bad was the fact that it was fully. That is fair. not cleaned and that I still cleaned it and enjoyed it. Well, as long as that, it's a bad date story with the rare happy ending.

Oh no, any bad date story with me will end happily. I get what I want. I love that. Oh, yeah. That is so empowering to the listeners. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to get what I want. You know what?

And I respect that. And I am so in line with that. But people give me so much shit for staying to get off in situations in which the person, you know, may have lied about what they look like, lied about how old they are, want to use their homemade lube that they made in their basement. Okay, that may be a little question.

And it's like, no, that might be my lying. I'm no quitter. Okay. I'm not sure. I'm no quitter, right. Exactly. No, if we're going to go through all that work. So, Lagangea, final question for you then.

Yeah. What is the lesson, sort of the overall lesson that you took away from this experience that you sort of have carried with you into your dating life today? The lesson is, I'm a slut. And clean your men.

Clean your men, baby. Even again, I hate to make this such a gendered podcast today, but we really are putting it on women to wash their men. You know, why not? What else don't? I mean, we put everything on women. So we might as well put bathing them out. And women self-clean in a different way, like literally anatomically. It's just like a scientific thing.

So the dick's collecting. You self-clean? It's just like internally. You got a little Roomba in there or something? Yeah, I have a, I installed a Roomba inside. Sick, clean. If you can believe. Listen, an IUD Roomba combo invention, sign me up.

Get Barbara Corcoran on the line. That's just what we need. Something more painful to put in their back. Bad dates. Hannah Pilka, you mentioned a husband earlier, so I assume you're still married since. Quite the assumption. Yeah. We broke up this morning.

How long have you been together? We've been married like almost three years in October. Similar serial monogamous. Really. But have vacillated between being in open relationships within monogamy. So I feel like that's kind of how I've like had my freak on, you know? In this case, this was the first situation ship, 19 years old, fresh out of high school, sort of like the standards are here. So moved out here and met this person in the sexiest way at an improv class.

Oh, yeah. So you know they were hot. They got the skinny jeans, the converse sound. I feel like improv class is sort of ground zero for most of the stories on the show. Is it? No, I mean, think about the many women of comedy that we bring through here have met so many just villains at the improv class. Totally. That is remarkable that it does feel like you guys should go and start your own where it is just, you know, I'm not, I'm not for segregation, but I do believe that men shouldn't be allowed to take improv class.

And you know what? I'm not going to stop at improv class. I'm talking stand up. I'm talking. Yeah. I have been, you know. Max, hear that? I'm glad you were a new face recently because your career's over.

It's over for the boys. Yeah. Okay. My heart's been crushed by many a mic, an open mic. Actually, stand-ups arguably the most toxic, but that's for another time. Yeah, that's a different pod. Yeah, that's a different pod. So we met doing improv. They thought I was funny. So, Dundiel, you know, they said yes. What did you say? They were, they them? You know, yes. Okay, non-binary fantasy. They he. Okay, I love that. A rare they he. Yeah. Especially when I was like, I feel like at 19. Yeah, he was ahead of the curve.

Yeah, totally. They were ahead of the curve. Oh, my God. Well, they he. They're he. Yeah, yeah. So it's any of the kids. And I'm married too, they he.

So it went full circle back. That is amazing. And what year was this? Wow. I'm 24. Let's see. Probably like 2011. Oh, so this was way before I am Kate.

Okay. So this is way before we understood. I'm kidding. Well, that's your reference? This was when Sex in the City of the episode, It was like, you can't be by. You're one or the other. You know, it was like.

So that's what we were dealing with. So he was a pioneer in a lot of ways. And so fine. They had that going for them. But conversely, they were like 10 years older than me. So if you're, if you're 29 and you're dating a 19 year old, or even if you're going to hook up, it's weird. Oh. I mean, it's weird.

Okay. Elaborate on that. But again, the bar was low. I think it was just, I was just up for the thrills. You know, wherever the wind was going to take us, that was enough. So they picked me up in their car that was hanging by a single thread. And they didn't have a lot of gas in the tank. They, we pulled up to a gas station.

I mean, it was like it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Um, but again, no worries. I'm having a fun time. I'm doing my Olson twin movie. Yeah. I'm wearing my capy hat down. Uh, they dug under their seat for quarters and dimes to pay and then I ended up giving them $6. So we put like six, $6. or something.

Oh my God. Into the tank. Well, and back then, that's a lot. Well, and I was like, great. You gave a shibor-wry. The call today is, I just want everyone to have a sense of time and place. In 2011, 6-82 was a full tank. Full-tank, for sure.

And you had an attendant do it for you because women aren't allowed to pump gas. No doge coin back then. So, okay, so we did that. And then we were supposed to go have dinner at their house after that. Their apartment, they had four roommates. Perfect. Super, super, super high rise in downtown L.A. with no AC. Just like they were bugs under a magnifying glass, all glass sealing in the heat.

And it was just, it was like a soup in there. So they say, though, I'm going to, we have to stop. I just have a quick errand to run. Oh, boy. No worries. You know, I'm easy, breezy. So they go in, they're gone for like 25 minutes or something. They're going into their house?

They're going into someone's apartment. Okay. And we're in like West L.A. somewhere. and you're just in the car. You know, we probably have like 20 miles left in the tanks, so we hope we get to downtown after that. So they're gone and they come back with something in foil. Drugs.

Yeah, but the question is, maybe not. The question is, oh, what kind, you know? And I was 19, so I still am not sure. I think they would refer to it as kitty, kitty, meow. Oh, my God. Was it just catamie then? Maybe. Wow, this guy was really a lot.

It was never. Wait a minute. He really didn't start coming back until 2017, 2018. You dated a time traveler. Yeah. Wait a minute. They did contact me to do the IP for the time travelers. Oh my God.

That was me. So he's brought some horse tranquilizer wrapped in foil into the car. And I'm, and I don't know that it's drugs because I, again, like you said, I. You thought it could be a potato. I smoked in Ilaubon. Illa delf. That was like a very Philly. I was like Philly.

I was like Philly. listening to Jam bands 311 Maathyao. Yeah, Montessiou before Madaziaho, you know actually I should have always known but anyway, Madagiahu, not the greatest person. Anyhow, I digress.

So I didn't know what that was. So we stopped for tacos, the foils there, we get like cow tongue tacos. What? Just a fun aside. Linguar, they call it. Oh, yeah. Linguas. Lingu. Lingu. Chewy.

Chewy. Chewy. We get to the apartment and then they start cooking. Cooking? That's, I think you have to put it over a stove. Well, was it liquid? I don't know, but I know they put it in a pan over the stove and it was a really interesting smell. Okay, so that is interesting.

I've done this before, but like, cut that. But I, no, I, the, it is interesting. It's not, it doesn't take a lot. How long did it take do you think? I don't need to actually know this. Again, like, I think I was just on the stove in front of you. And I'm probably texting my friend's like, ketamine anyway.

You can bake it or you can, you have to, I double. You can put it in an easy bake. Yeah, I double boil, you know, a pan. It's, it's, you don't, we don't. I love the Ina garden. You put like a nice lavender of Guadrole aside. You know, I think, who knows, time was, time was so an illusion at the time. I think I was probably just texting my friends, like, I'm in the sky's apartment.

You can't believe. So they cooked it up. I think, yeah, they imbibed. I did not partake. I was, I think I drank. They were allergic to alcohol. Oh. They were allergic to alcohol, so they went straight for kids.

So am I, honestly. So I get it. I understand their journey. I understand where they're coming from. They needed to have their, their kick somewhere. Was this Joel? Oh, my God. Feeling like there's a lot of connections.

Joel, remember when you were straight in 2011? This would be the best place to confront it in 2011, at an improv class. I won't lie, they did kind of look like you. No way. Really? Very, very tall, but you guys had similar features. Yeah. Handsome.

Straight, though. Yeah. Yeah. You know. Yeah. There's still time. I can change my mind at any moment. I could change my mind at any moment.

So they're cooking the drugs. They imbibe. You do not. They're cooking the drugs. They imbibe. I do none. I'm drinking. And, you know, at that point, I should go home.

So we proceed to make whoopee, as they say on the newly wed show in the 70s. Crazy to call it that after he just cooked ketamine. I love that I haven't said the name of the drug or sex. She referred to it as street meat and you've gone with whoopee. And we're too tall for it and we're both inebriated in different ways. Explain you're too tall for it. We all had a little bit of a... I don't discriminate, but I like to date someone shorter than me, I will say.

Really? My husband is 5'6. I'm 5.11. I like a short king. And I like a short anybody. I don't know. It's just a preference thing. I think our limbs getting tangled.

I don't like being on skis. I don't like having sex with someone as tall as me. I find that for me, my partner is 6.3. I'm 5.9. And it's for us, it's not even the height difference. It's the torso length difference because we can't 69. It's not even that it's because his, his, I mean, we figure it. Go to a stretching class.

Come on. Like, my torso is so long and his is so short that nothing aligns. We are two Legos that we're not supposed, like he's a bionicle and I'm a Lego. And that's beautiful. I love the biographical reference. Wow, I'm waxing poet. That's going to be your lower back tattoo. I need a pet. Okay.

Okay, so too tall to do it. The sex is not enjoyable. And it's not enjoyable in that I need them right in the crotch. Like, I'm trying to swing a leg over and I knee them. And it just, it devolves after that. I don't think that anything, I don't think there was finishing of any kind. I'm sure I faked it from age 19 to, last week. And still,

and still, let's be real. And I will forever. You're just... Yes and in sex. That's it. I'm a good improviser. That's what I am. And so it's funny, you would think that it would end after that, but I do think we periodically saw each other

and had kind of like mid-whoopie for a couple months until I got a text one day that they had met someone at Burning Man. And it really, it feels, and this is a this is not an insult by any mean, but it does feel like this story could have been written by

Lena Denham. Like an AI. Like it does feel, because it's like, ChachyBT is just highly advanced predictive text. And if I were writing the predictive text of this story about the man who cooked ketamine in his apartment in front of you and had no money, in my mind as a computer, the next likely thing to happen would be he meets someone at Burning Man. Wait, is this and just like that? I think it might be.

It like checks every box. He could come back at any time. You don't know where he's at in your life. Listen, never say never. We're closed at the moment. But should I get back on field? I'm sure he's there cruising. I love that you're a field girlie.

Me too. I was on field and I took a little break. So you do have they them stories for sure. Oh yeah. It feels such an interesting wild west of a place. Love that time I saw someone that was like only looking to match with women that are over eight months pregnant. Oh.

Perfect. I love that they know what they're looking for. I love it. They have the term heteroflexibility. I really like the names on field. Like you'll run into a loaf. You'll run into a sidecar. You'll run into, like they really can be named anything. I learned I'm demisexual. Like you can learn things. You do. We're all of anything. Got to talk. So Hannah, at the end of all this, he's gone to Burning Man. He's met someone with white dreads and brought them back to the mainland. What is your takeaway? What's your lesson that? you, what did you learn about yourself from this experience that you've carried with you on into the rest of your life? I think I have more self-respect now. And I think I learned that I can say no to drugs. And I think that was the DARE program that I had just graduated from in high school.

And now Max. Eddie, two first names. Must have been really hard for you growing up. Yeah, a lot of Eddie Max. is maximum Edward. I know. But I want the listeners to know Max is spelled with two X's,

which means he's a one X short of a porno. The pivot's coming. I promise. So Max, give us a little bit of context. Where are you at right now, relationship wise? So,

well, I am, so I'm bisexual. And I, it's not working out with anybody. Wow. You cast a wider net and still. No fishies.

No fishes. That's global warming for you, basically. So I think what happens with me is I, if I like someone, I get really, really invested. Same. Pretty much immediately. So it feels like, it feels like I'm an alcoholic looking at a bottle of gray goose. And I'm like, I can't touch it. Exactly.

I mean, I said I would marry my partner the second day I met him. And we are about to get married. So it can work for you, Max. I say be as crazy as you want to fucking be. Have you seen serendipity? It's meant to be. Bringing it back. Okay, so you are not, you're currently very, very single, have found much success.

Take us to where in your life, in your timeline, this story takes place. Just out of college, I was dating a girl that I had met in college and we'd been together for, Officially for like four or five months, we went through a really long situationhip period where she was kind of shady to me. At one point, we were living in the same house in college. It was like a 10-person house. And she was sleeping with me and this British exchange student. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Yeah, this story is not going to reflect on. That's so funny. It's so funny that we come. We still come from these two different worlds, even though you are a part of the acronym. Because when you said she was being really shady to me, In my head, I thought she was saying things like, oh, wow, is that how you're going to wear your hair today? Looks like, great. And then you meant Shady as in she was being suspicious and duplicitous.

Oh, my God, duplicitous. I just heard Shady and was like, oh, do we not have to break down that term for the audience? Wow, doll. Well, we just fucking did. So she's sleeping with this Harry Potter fucker. And, well, okay, so by the time we actually started officially dating, that was all in the past, and I had let it be in the past. However, there was one day, probably four months into us officially dating, where I happened to see her phone. And she had her texts appearing on the phone. And I'm not a jealous person or suspicious person generally. And yet. And yet, I saw the first words of the text in the text preview were, I can't believe you let me come. Oh. And it was spelled.

C-U-M. That is wild. And that's where, Your Honor. Because that could have been to the party, but no. Everything else was spelled perfect. You don't know. Yeah, because I don't, I can't believe you let me come or made me come or let you come. Let me come.

Could be like, Dara, I can't believe you let me come to this party because I have such a long history of, you know, physically assaulting people. at parties. Wow. That turned dark. What kind of text do you read or write? But no, she, and it's bold to spell it C-U-M. Oh, yeah. In that situation.

Can we do a quick poll here, though? If you are saying, come and you're, do, how do you spell it? C-U-M? C-U-M? Yeah. C-U-M. It's got to be C-U-M. See, for me, if it's the verb, then it is C-O-M-E.

If it's the noun, none. Interesting. C-U-M. Well, that's just wrong. Oh, no, no, no, that's what I do. Yeah, verb is going to be C-O-M-M. Oh, God. No, coming.

C-U-M-I-N-G. Well, if I was saying coming, I would probably use the U-2, but come just, I want to come. Like, I just, it doesn't, it, for me, C-U-M just looks like a noun, and I can't not think of it as a noun. That's fair. Sure. So when you want to come, like, ejaculate, you write, I want a C-O-M-E. Yeah. Well, that's mixed a big signal.

Right. Again, Pete, that's why so many of your. hookups have not... I just... I love spelling. Get me on Sesame Street. We'll do a whole segment. The letter C.

It saved your life. Letter C. They need to know the difference between verbs and nouns. Anyway, so you see this really crazy text. Crazy text. And truly, when I saw it,

and the theme of this story is me continuing to give the benefit of the doubt when it was not... Oh, you sweet simple boy. So in my head when I see this text, I go, well, let me see the rest of it. And maybe it gets better.

Yeah, context with me. The rest of the text, was, I can't believe you let me come inside of you. So it didn't get better. Also, do not disturb at that point. I love the boldness of saying, I'm going to let this pop right on up on my screen. Absolutely insane.

Also, I'm sorry, but like, lane thing to say to anyone of any sexuality, of any gender, because it's like, oh, I can't believe you let me come in the space that was specifically designed for my con. You know, it's like, it's not that crazy. It's not like aliens touched down on planet Earth, all right? You can't believe? Yeah. Oh, please. Wild.

And it's also, like, the energy of like, oh, yeah, that was, like, super lit that you let me do that. Like, that was super fucking cool that we did. Like, are you sending, like, thank you text for every time you bust? Like, that's crazy. But so what I did, and again, I did not believe in myself enough. I was, like, I was so, like, not confident. that I went to her still very kindly just being like, hey, I'm so sorry about this.

I saw this text and we do need to talk about it. And she managed to convince me that this guy was just sending her weird texts. Right. She was like, oh, he's my coworker and he just keeps sending these crazy things, which even if you're like doing that via text to someone, you don't send that text. Yeah, this is actually quite similar to when I was 16 and my dad found gay porn on our computer. and I got out of it by telling him

that I planted it there as a prank for him to find. Perfect. And he fell for it. I don't think he actually believed it. I think he just desperately wanted a straight son. So he sort of went along with it. And that's where I was.

That is exactly. I was a father wanting to say a straight son. You were up for my relationship. How was she doing that? Like, how do you sleep when you lie to me? You know, I only date people who are pretty good at convincing people of stuff. So she was a sneaky one.

Get her a BFA, man. Truly. Get her up to the stage. Broadway immediately. And here's what happens. This is the part where I start to look like an asshole. But not only did she convince me that she had not slept with this guy, that he was being weird. Because I believed that this guy was just being weird to her.

I was like, you know what? I want to fucking meet this guy. Hell, yeah. I was like, I'm going to fucking, I'm going to confront him. Okay. I'm going to let him know. So basically, I had her set up a date with a dude that was definitely fucking her. She set it up.

I can't believe she went through. That is a panic move on her part. You know she was like, she's like, texting on her burner. She's like, I have to yes, and this at this point. I can't believe he bought the first line. The lie just becomes another lie just becomes another lie. Exactly. So I even told her, this was crazy.

But I was like, I was so ready to like big dog this dude. I was like, I want him to feel surprised. I want him to feel ambushed. I told him, I told her, tell him it's a picnic. Tell him it's a picnic. Tell him to bring a blanket. Wow. And this is where, you know, the bisexuality is rearing its ugly hair.

Truly. Your instinct inside was to make it a picnic? Exactly. I was like, let's do it. He's never going to know that I'm about to let him know. And so she does set it up. We go to Golden Gingham. Park in San Francisco, he comes through. And for context, they worked together at some sort of

research facility. And so finding new ways how to torture young. Clearly, psychological research. And so within like a minute of a, he has a picnic blanket. He spreads it out, which is so funny. Just watching him do this, the unfurl, while I know I'm about to give him the business. Oh, I felt like a man. I can believe she would panic and make and like go along with that. I can't believe he went along with that. I mean, truly, in his mind, how is he? I don't know if she told him that there were going to be more people there,

but he sees it's just the three of us. And he should have had the alarm bells going off. But within like a minute of us sitting down, I had a line ready for him. I was like, so my girl says that you guys work together. You're like a writer. He's like, well, no, we do, like, research. You know, we're conducting experiments. It's not a lot of writing.

I was like, well, you've been writing some pretty weird text to my fucking girlfriend. This is such a Matt Damon. How do you like them apples? This feels very like three, like Laurel and Hardy. But in my mind, I was like, I'm the dog. It is at once so triumphant and so lame at the same time. Like, he definitely fucked my girlfriend. and I'm like, no, but I'm going to get him.

And he starts, he starts just kind of freaking out. And how did I let him get a word in edgewise? He might have said, maybe a sentence that came to mind was, hey, sorry for fucking your girlfriend. But I didn't even let him get to that point. I just immediately start, like, big dog. I'm just like, hey, if you ever text her again, I will fucking kill you, okay? Like, it just, yeah.

Hard to take a threat seriously on a picnic blanket. On a picnic blanket, from this face. Like, what are we talking? It feels like when you were looking away, they were like, can't we go. So you have now, quote unquote, big dog this man. Yes. And he, I mean, truly the funniest part is, as I'm yelling at him, he has to roll up a picnic blanket. Like Little Red Riding.

Excuse me, sorry, watch it. It's incredible. You know, usually I fold it, but I feel like there's a lot of attention right now. Yeah. Oh, my God. How long did it take you to find out that she was actually... Two years. Took you two years to put the pieces together?

Mr. Police, we gave you all the clues. I know. It truly was... And it wasn't even... We broke up like a couple months later and I didn't think about it. And then like, yeah, two years later, I was recounting the story to someone. And at the end of it, I go, oh, wait. She definitely fucked that guy.

Wait a minute. Ooh, hindsight is 2020. my friend. It is incredible that you were able to come to that. But that, I will be thinking about that picnic date. Because let's be clear,

that's the bad date in this story. Is that picnic? It is nothing that went on with a girlfriend. It is between you and this research assistant or writer.

And I'm going to be thinking about you saying, I'm going to give him the business. And here's the thing, Anna. I gave him the business. Okay? He was busy. And they had sex that night.

That would be the best ending of the story of him. Yeah, I fucked him too. It turned into a throuple for two years. It would be like, again, podcasting not a visual medium unless you're watching it right now. But Max, you do, you are sort of like the hot version of Ron Howard in Happy Days. Okay. I'm going to give him the business. Like, Opie telling you he's going to give you the business.

Little Yaiata. Hondo P. Yes. Oh, brilliant. So, Max, finally, before we let you go, what is the lesson that you took away from this particular scenario? Truly. And what did you learn? Corny lesson, but, like, you have to have the monocum of self-respect it takes to know when someone's misleading you that flagrantly.

Yeah. Like, you can't, like, and now I have a much better detector for that. Like, if someone is, like, bullshitting me, especially in the romantic context, I have the wherewithal to be like, I don't know about that. and I'm going to dip. And I think the more important lesson you learned is that picnics? Not as badass. Truly. Although that was top 1% badass picnics and it still wasn't very.

But I am proud of you for standing up for yourself in such a way because just from knowing you for the last hour, it doesn't seem like your vibe. Hey, Joel, I'm an alpha male. And I told you to read that up top for my intro as well. and he's going straight to Joe Rogan's podcast after this. Bad dates. And that, you guys, is the pod. We have reached the end. It is flown by because it has been so fucking fun.

Thank you all for joining me on this podcast. Lagangea and Strangia, where can the people find you? And what are you doing these days? You can find me on all social media platforms at LaGanja Estrangea, except for TikTok where some child stole it. So it's the only LaGange Estrange on TikTok. Are they extorting you for it, too? They're not.

No, they wouldn't sell it to me. I offer it. So yeah, you can find me on that. And then what am I doing? I mean, I'm being cunt. I'm being fierce. I'm out in these streets, twisting and twirling. I am still traveling.

Check out my calendar. That doesn't work on my website. Check out her calendar. If she's performing in L.A. or in your city, you've got to see her. If you're not able to see her, I would just starting, Googling Trinity K. Bonnet and LaGanja Estrangea and watching that video over and over and over again until you're just as obsessed as I am. So, Hannah Pilkis. Yes. What are you doing these days and where can the people find you?

You can find me on Instagram at Hannah P-I-L-K-E-S. You can see like show dates and all those things. You can see me on Netflix and Leanne. All 16 episodes are out right now. It's super cute. It's like a pie, cozy. And I'm directing my husband's show Kiff Wifk. It's at the LGBT Center right now. So yeah, keep stay tuned on Instagram for dates. It's really, really good. Check all those things out. And Max Addy, finally, what are you doing these days and where can people find you? Yeah. You can find me at Max. Eddie, it's M-A-X-X-E-D-D-Y. And that's on Instagram and TikTok. And once I start the only fans, we'll do a third X.

Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Give them the business. Oh, we're going to give them to business, okay? I'm getting that T-shirt made. I'm going to look so cute. But yeah, cool, cool, cool. Well, that has been.

And what are you doing these days? Yeah, what are you doing, dress? I'm just yelling at fucking you people for an hour in the studio. Yeah, I thought this was going to be just paraded us. Thank you guys. so much for joining us. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. If you liked what you heard today, you learned something, you laughed

a little bit, please give us a rating and review wherever you are listening to this podcast, five stars only please, okay? Put your critiques in the five star, all right? I don't want to see any of this three star, four star bullshit, all right? The one stars, they are funny.

All or nothing. Yeah, yeah. All or nothing. It is exactly correct. All or nothing. Thank you so much for listening. We will be back next week with more Bad Dates. Thank you very much. I'm Jill Kimbooster signing out. Bye-bye. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media, created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited, and engineered by Devin-Torri-Brien.

Produced by Anne Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana. Executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Baitman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Music by Cushy and Ebyn Schleller. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues,

please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3-283. That's 984-265-3-283. That's all for this week. We will be back for more.