Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Re-Release - The Craigslist Of Cities (w/ Gareth Reynolds, Yamaneika Saunders, and Sean O’Connor)

Episode Date: December 22, 2025

On this episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians Gareth Reynolds, Yamaneika Saunders, and Sean O’Connor to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Gareth is a kept man so he keeps his mouth shut about the raw duck, Yamaneika’s date absolutely insists that she look at every single snake on that plane, and here's just a partial list of elements from Sean’s story: Tyra Banks, 5-6 vodka sodas, and a whale puppet.If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for full episodes. Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates.Buy Tickets for our live show 2/01/26 at SF Sketchfest  Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 3Gareth Reynolds: Podcast Next We Have on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube, advice show We’re Here To Help with Jake Johnson, GarethReynolds.com for tour datesYamaneika Saunders: @yamaneika on socials, standup special!Sean O’Connor: @seanoconz on socials, podcast Off The Records, Solar Opposites on Hulu Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Smart. Bless me. Happy holidays, folks. Our present to you is the hilarious episode we recorded with Gareth Reynolds, Yamanika Saunders, and Sean O'Connor. Enjoy. Bad dates. I used to be much bigger, and I had, I definitely had the body of, you know, like a security girl. I'm a motherfucker would love. You know what I mean?

Like heavy-ass sleeves, you know what I mean? Huge areolas, you know, small weights but like thick size. It had also something to do with the fact that you were always wearing black hoodies and had an air piece in. Oh, hello and welcome to another episode of Bad Dates. I'm your host, Joel Kim Booster. Here at this podcast, we are the only podcast that talks about bad dating stories. We're the only ones. We're the only ones who are doing it in the entire podcasting world.

It's crazy. We were the first. We will be the last. And I will not hear any fact checks on that whatsoever. If you're new to the podcast, this is a panel show where I invite three of my funniest friends. And they dig deep and tell me a little traumatic story from their dating history. And dating is, it's a wide net that we cast here on bad dates. A bad date can be a third date, a first date.

It can be a 10-year-long marriage or it can be a hookup. It can be really whatever serves the story the best. Because what we're here to do is entertain you with our trauma. Before I get to our guests, we have sourced 150 questions from relationship experts that are supposed to be questions that you ask on a first date that will lead to a successful relationship. And the question that we've chosen today is, what would people from your past relationships warn me about you? Bad dates. For me, this question is, I haven't been in a ton of relationships. So I will say he's a cut and runner. He's got anxious attachment style until he's

gotcha hooked, and then he will ghost. That was my MO in the 20s. So it's like keep things spicy, keep things interesting, keeping at arm's length, and he'll always come back. It sounds really toxic, but guess what, bitch, I'm engaged right now and you're not. So I guess it worked out pretty well for me in the end. Let him know. Now, to answer the same question, I have a panel of extremely funny guests, and I'm actually very excited about this one, because we tried to record with one of these guests before, and disaster struck. And I've been salivating, waiting to get this person on to the podcast ever since. We have a comedian and an actress from Life and Beth, inside Amy Schumer,

survival of the thickest, and a Comedy Central half hour that is still two dates. I saw this filmed live. One of the best live stand-up experiences I have ever seen. And that is from the one and only Yamanika Saunders, everybody. Thank you, my love. Thank you, sweetie. Such a legend, a legend in the chat with us today. another legend in the chat with me today

is a comedian, writer, actor, and producer from shows like Arrested Development, you're the worst, an idiot sitter. He co-hosts the Comedy Advice podcast. We're here to help. It's Gareth Reynolds. Hey. Hi. Gareth, again, a huge fan.

You're the worst. All-time great show. Oh, I thought you were going to end it at worst. No, you are the worst. Okay, that's what I thought you were saying. And finally, another person I'm a huge fan of, this is crazy. We welcome comedian,

and producer and Emmy nominated writer from the late, late show, Solar Opposites, incredible show. And this year's Golden Globe Awards, it's Sean O'Connor, everybody. Welcome to the pod. Thank you. You may be feel as good as them, but I still... It's true. It's all genuine.

Listen, you should hear the intros for the people that I don't find impressive. What is that like... What do you do then? You mail it in? It's a little subdued and it's a little underhanded and ultimately they leave feeling less than that's how we run the podcast um but guys here's this question what would one of your exes warn me about you uh and we'll start with yamanika um have you do you have a lot of exes to speak of no i mean maybe i don't know because you know if you ask it don't ever ask somebody i used to be

with anything about me who would trust them yeah exactly you know what i'm saying they gave up the prize Yeah, absolutely. You should ask them what they did, that they lost me. You understand? Good. But I mean, most of my exes probably can't even read. So to be honest with you, I don't know what they would say. I'm going to tell you that I have, I'm nothing but loving. I'm nothing but considerate and kind. But, you know, after three or four months, I'm going to stop looking good. That's really important. You understand what I'm saying? Like, so if you're looking, I'm going to look like the woman in Times Square. The black statue they just put up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's going to be controversy around that. You do the effort up top. Once you got him hooked, it is fully sweat pets on the couch. Like, this is couch time, baby. And I think that's, I love that evolution of a relationship, quite frankly. I love that I can now look disgusting in front of my partner.

And I've already got, he's already in love with me. It's too late. You know, there's no going back. So I really appreciate that answer. Yeah, Manika. Next, Gareth, what would one of your exes tell me about you? Well, I do agree. with Yamanique that, you know, they, you know, don't talk to them about me, first of all,

but since you have, I have no choice. You know, she would probably say he's still smoking pot in the garage, and I know he's doing it, even though he says he's going out there because he's trying to clean it up over the summer. And for a summer in my relationship, I'd quit smoking weed, and then I was like, I want to sneak back into it. And like a little weirdo, I just kept going out there and take it. taking hits and holding it in and thinking it didn't smell like it.

And then I'd come in and she'd be like, are you getting high? And I'd be like, no. But I was out there smoking weed. So you're a liar is what your ex word. What a way to bottom line it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a classic liar, I'll say no. You're a deceiver.

You're a Loki, like, Prince of Lies. You are not to be trusted. Just nice to be in the monarchy. Yeah. Wow, everything you say now from here on out, I'm going to really question, Gareth. I wish you had to talk to her. I wish you hadn't reached out.

And finally, Sean O'Connor, what one of your exes tell me about you? You know, it's hard to say. I think it would probably be something about how he's emotionally unavailable. He's mentally ill. And he's constantly, constantly saying he wants to kill himself, even though he never will. And it is...

Is this a cry for help? Yeah, no. Do we need to do a wellness check? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get one of his exes on the phone because it sounds like you might need some help. If I talk to one of your exes, they would be like, is he okay?

Is he alive? Is he doing all right? You know, like? Well, most of my exes are from my 20s, and now I've been married for 10 years, and I think I've like even, I've leveled out. But in my 20s, I was reckless. I was a rescue pup.

And like all rescue pups, I dive head first into things. Yeah, and you just needed to find the right home. You know, no kids, somebody who's used to getting bitten, but won't put the dog down, et cetera. Amen. Now I'm thriving. I, too, am like, that statue at Times Square. You needed a pot garage in your 20s, Sean.

You needed a little pot shit. Absolutely. In your 40s, I'm 46 years old, and I'm just getting into pot big time. Yeah, yeah. Really? Enjoy it's never too late That's a lesson for every listener out there It is never too late to become addicted to weed

That's what I've always said Anyways, these were incredible answers You guys, I feel like I have a window Into all of your souls Thank you so much for sharing Bad dates It is time for the stories. Reynolds.

Gareth, before we start your story, give me a little lowdown, give me a little bit of context. Where are you at right now, romantically? In a relationship. And there's no pot garage. Two and a half years. Two and a half years.

Okay. Going strong. Love that. And was your style? Yeah, there's a cocaine tool shed. Yeah. But no pot garage. But it is getting organized.

Yeah. Speaking stand. Yeah. Um, so what was your style before you met this, uh, current relationship? Were you a serial monogamous? Were you a fuck boy? Were you somebody who like needed to be in love at all times? What was your style?

No, it's tough to, it was tough to hear and it's even tougher to admit that I was a fuck boy. You were a fuck boy. I spent 10 years being a fuck boy. Yeah. And, and you, and what chip are you on right now? Um, in your recovery. Uh, chip, what is it? It'd probably be chip 14.

So I've, I'm doing. Good. Great. I've achieved highest status. Okay. Love that. Yeah, but no, I spent 10 years single, traveling, and it was pretty good. Being a fuck boy was all right. I'll be honest. Not enough people talk about the actual experience of being the fuck boy. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I don't think that I have any problem with fuck boys. I actually celebrate fuck boys. The problem is, is be honest about who you are. Like, the problem comes in was when these fuck boys come in and try to wear the clothing of a man who's got it together who's not a, who is it. But that's what makes them a fuckboy.

They can be telling you they don't have their shit together. They got to be a dollar store dressed up like Montgomery wards. You understand what I'm saying? Yeah. They got it come in. Yeah, I'm a hot dog dressed like a steak. That's part of the fuck boy. Boy, wow.

That pierced the soul of me. Oh, I'm sorry to call you up. No, no, I have a hot dog in a steak costume. I don't even think I'm in a steak costume. I'm just a hot dog in a Bratworth's outfit. But still, I was a fuck boy. You were a fuck boy. And so where, paint the picture, where in your life does this story take place?

This actually does take place around the pot garage time. Okay. This is early in the pot garage relationship. Okay. So this was, this. You want to cut the drink out the rings? That was probably 28. That was that same relationship, the one you were sneaking off to smoke pot in the garage.

Correct. Is this the Obama error? This is pre-O-Boma. Not you trying to blame Obama. Okay. You were smoking weed in the garage under George Bush's watch, okay? Michelle didn't have shit to do with this. It was, look, it was not not Obama's fault, and I don't think we need to get into it,

but he probably had a pretty large hand. Yeah, definitely. I can see that. And so we had a strain of weed back then. He did. He did. Obama did? Yeah. We were celebrating him in Bushwick by wrapping him up in a paper and smoking a split. That is how I celebrated Obama. Before weed was legal when they made a strain for blue ivy. I said that's too far. The carders don't want that, but not. It's a child. It's a child. Yeah, you can't do that. And Obama, it doesn't even have, like, a nice, like, pun thing. George W. Cush, that worked. George W. Cush. Yeah, yeah. Or get a strain of fuck boy.

Wrap them up, smoke them up, and burn them out. Love it. You'd smoke the George W. Cush, and you'd just be like, I regret every move I made. That's true. No, I would sit on the couch and I'd be like, mission accomplished. And you've done nothing good. Exactly. I've done nothing but sit on the couch.

But at the end of it, mission accomplished. So, Gareth, where, how does the story begin? Lead us into the story. Well, this is around the time of the ambient boom. When all of a sudden, everyone was like, have you heard of this ambient stuff? And people were like, it was great. And remember there was the Lunesta commercial where the woman was like basically taking it and then hovering on a neon butterfly in her room? It was all of a sudden, not only was sleep possible.

But some people discovered that if you took, if you stayed awake through it, you would have a hell of an experience. So if you could fight through the sleep, you'd kind of trip. Yeah. So when I did Ambien in my 20s, I woke up the next morning and I had filled out three applications to start the process of adopting a baby. So, you know, it's a, it's one hell of a drug, I got to say. adopting a baby as I had seven roommates in Bushwick I thought I was ready

that's how powerful Ambien is when you send in those applications should also be part of the interview because if it's coming at 3 a.m., you're like, no, that's this is a drunk bit. This is like ordering DoorDash. Yeah, exactly.

So I started dating this woman and I was broke at the time, and I kept like, I wanted to take her out on a date, and I just didn't have any money, and I kind of was pretty open about it. I was like, I wanted to take it out, but I don't have any money. And she was like, well, I'll bring over, like, Basanova and beer. And I was like, bossanova to me is quite expensive. So I was like, interesting. So she kind of was endlessly paying

for food and things like that, and I kind of felt like a piece of shit. But then she was like, well, my family is extremely rich. And I was like, okay, you know, I liked you because of you, but this is not terrible news. And so it was really helpful. It was like, you know, I didn't have to pay for shit. I started spending a lot of time at her place and whatnot. And then it was finally time to go meet her parents. And her parents, she was like kind of prepping me, like, you know, they, they, they,

They seem like they're rich. Like, they're kind of stuffier people. She was like, my dad does smoke weed, but you would never guess that my dad smokes weed. And they had a, like, a penthouse on, like, Park Avenue. So, like, they were next level rich. And I... Old money, right? Old money.

Old money. Old money with a secret. And, and... Exactly. And I, by the way, I was, like, she was dressing. me. So I was like presenting like normal, but I really was just still the same piece of shit. And so, um, so I, I go there. Um, I meet her family and, uh, you know, like I don't, at that night they explained what we're going to do and we're going to go have dinner and go to the

opera. And I was like, oh shit. Like this is like, oh, rich, rich. Yeah, stereotype monty. Like, I felt like Julia Roberts was pretty, I was like, I don't know. how to eat at a table and go to a show. Did you have to wear, were you in tops and tails for the opera? No, but I didn't have nice shoes. And her dad couldn't get over that I didn't, he was like, you don't have. And I was like, no, I don't. They didn't know you was broke?

Yeah, they, I was sort of, I was trying to hang, you know? Like I was, but I, I just, it was very obvious that I was out of my element. And he was giving me a pair of shoes. So he was like walking me into the, this huge closet, and he was kind of going, like, you know, these are... Where geographically are we, by the way? We're in New York City. Oh, okay, so this is real rich people.

I was, like, waiting for you to say something, you know, like... No, we were in... We were in St. Louis, and it was like... Yeah. No, we're, like, legit, and they're, like, real New Yorkers, too. So you're adding that into the mix. But so he gives me a pair of shoes, not only for dinner and the opera, but he's like, you can just kind of keep these.

And I was like, that's incredible. I probably overreacted to that, too. You know, I was probably, thanks, mister. And then so, so then we go to dinner. And it really was like pretty woman. Like, I really felt like, I looked at the menu and I was like, he gave you those shoes and you like began to get on your knees. And you were like, wait, should I, okay, on zip?

Oh, no, no, no, no. It's just the shoes. It's just the shoes. Okay, okay, okay. Well, I thought those shoes would turn me into like a regular rich boy, but they, unfortunately, I was the same. I was like, oh, they're not magic? Yeah, you have to do the magical twirl first. I didn't twirl.

At the end of all of this, I did realize I didn't do the twirl. You did switch bodies with the dad, though. Yeah, no, well, we held the shoes during a thunderstorm and said, I wish I had your life. And there we go. I'm sorry to happen. Well, it gets worse. You're such a beautiful person. Oh, that's very supportive.

And, you know, like I said, I had a pot garage. So it comes back to bite her eventually. But so we go to dinner and it is very small menu. And I didn't really know what to order. So I ordered the duck. And then they brought the duck over and the duck was not cooked. It was like seared, but it wasn't cooked. It was like pink duck.

And I genuinely was like, this is amazing. major problem because I right but what the fuck do you know you're just a poor piece of trash and this might be how rich people eat duck so I'm like rich people are like bollic constrictors they could just eat whatever and it goes well yeah there's a vaccine for that that only they get they don't have the fine dining vaccine yeah no they didn't know yeah exactly I thought the shoes would give me immunity but uh but also when you die rich they know how you die you see what I'm saying only a few people dying by raw duck Then people put the money.

You understand what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pottie died. Oh, he had raw duck. Oh, he had money like that? Oh, okay. Because my cousin died, he had a raw rat, but he live in Harlem. Yeah, exactly.

No, my family is dying because they're trying to cook everything in an air fryer, you know? Like, it's not the same thing. It's not the same thing. We are not the same. By the way, if you'd thrown this duck in an air friar for five, minutes. What a fucking meal you would have had. Okay. But without it, it was just pink. Like, I was genuinely like, can you eat this? But you must be able to. They've served it. They saw it. So I start, like, tearing through it,

like a wild animal. And I eat most of it. I'm trying to, like, hide part of it. Like, when you're a kid and you're, like, hiding the thing you don't want to eat. Like, I was definitely trying to camouflage it. And then as I get, like, three quarters the way through it, or dad's like, I don't like raw duck. And I was like, well, neither do I, sir. Neither do I. You had like a trading places type bet with him and the chef? It really, it felt very, the whole thing felt like it.

I really felt like I should not be inside here. So it feels a little bit adjacent, like white trash get out. Like they were, they were planning on replacing their brains in your young body by the end of this. Well, if you'd seen me then, that was what they were grooming you. Another flaw in their foolish plan. Like I said, I had pot tits back then. So then we go to the opera. I'll be honest.

I just was like, this is not for me. I sat there. I was like, oh, my God, this is awful. It was everything you would think that someone like me would think. I was just like, this is very stupid. I don't understand what's going on. And it's three hours long. They were loving it.

and then were they though this is my question it might have been the rod duck plays opera maybe no i'm not going to say it because i'm going to get so many dms that i don't want to get but i do think that opera is like stockholm syndrome like people have convinced themselves that they're smarter than me because they like it and i'm here to tell you that it is boring and i do not want to see it well that's because they sing in all the drama you know white people like to sing they shit so you don't really hear it you see what i'm saying i need you to speak it i don't want to hear it in the oria tell me how you took the slaves and forgot to tell them that they was free and then we got to celebrate june 10th and tell me that speaking don't sing it yeah that sounds like

an incredible opera i would see that in a second yeah it's called oops black people you miss slavery again the upros choreography and music by what's his name man well his name man, well, I think is exactly where we need to leave it. So you hate, you're at the opera, you're hating it. What happens next? Hating it. Okay, just to timestamp it, this is the weekend that Borat comes out. And I'm so excited to see Borod, right? And I'm like, and I definitely felt like the first night wasn't great. But then so, so the next day Borak comes out and my girlfriend and I'm like, oh, we're going to go see Borat. And then as we're getting ready to go, our parents are like, where are you going? And we're like, we're going to the movies. And I'm like,

oh we'll go what's it called and i'm like uh borat and they're like okay what's it about and i'm like i'm trying to be like don't come please don't come you went to the opera with me and there was rod duck no and um and they were like we'll come along and then so they came to see borat and i mean i was like this is the funniest movie i've ever seen but every now and then i would just look over and they look puzzled horrified yeah their monocle fell off and shocked They took out the opera glasses to watch Borat. No. I mean, a huge moment in culture of Borat coming out because it was like huge, and I'm not

saying this is you, but like huge for people who think quoting movies is comedy. You know, like that was like a real flexion point for a lot of people. I don't think that, but if you had talked to, my girlfriend, she might have felt differently, Joel. I'm sorry. So we're in the lobby and she goes to the bathroom and then it's just me and them and they're just like what was that you know and i'm like i'm trying to pretend like what a minute like that is not what i thought it was either but in my head i'm like that's the greatest thing i've ever seen so anyway so so that night we're staying in a hotel and um a fancy hotel and you know we'd had

a couple drinks and like i said they're trying to fuck you no no no just me and the girlfriend they're back at their regular location we separate i should have been clear i should have been clear Yeah, no, they fucked me at dinner the night before, but this night was just about me and the girlfriend. So there we are, and we'd had a couple drinks, and then the Ambien comes out, and she takes the Ambien, and she kind of stays awake through the Ambien. And I don't know what happened, but it got real weird, real quick,

and she just started saying, someone was murdered in this room. And I was like, okay, vibe shift. And I was like, all right. And then I was just trying to get her to bed. And she goes, she's like, someone was raped and murdered in this room. What? Okay, wait. It sounds like the Ambien unlocked like a psychic power that she had.

Like, she is the media. She is Patricia Arquette. No, I believe her. I believe women. No. I believe women. I believe women. I believe that someone was murdered in that room.

And you are, you are gaslighting her right now. You should have, you should have called the police. You got to believe women. Unless it's white women. You got to double check their stories sometimes. But everybody else. Believe all women, but double check with the white ones. No, I was very open to the idea.

I was like, potentially. So we'll check out at 10, like the plan. We'll hang in there tonight. But she keeps going. You didn't take out your ghost hunter, like, kid. I didn't have a EMF reader. Yeah, yeah. The temperature changes.

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, all right, so I'm trying to call her down. Well, it kind of gets a little, like, she's, like, angry at me over my, like, pushback that, you know, I was like, come on, let's go to bed. Well, there was a murder. The stakes are high. In retrospect. And of a combo.

And then so it's not a fight, but she wants to go back to the penthouse. It's like two in the morning now. And she's, like, insisting she wants to go. to the penhouse. And I'm like, we can't go back there right now. I'm like, this is, it's just too crazy. And I, I'm, you know, but she ends up calling the front desk, ordering a taxi. And I'm like, she doesn't want me around, but I'm like, you're tripping your fucking balls off. So I'm not going to just let you go around New York tripping. And, and so I'm going with her. And the whole time, I'm like, please don't go back to your parent. And, and they live in a building

where you have to talk to a doorman to get up. And she's just like, she's, she's, she's mad at me because I didn't think that someone was raped and murdered in that room. And so we're in the cab and I'm just like, please. Like it's honestly like we're almost breaking up and I'm just going, please, please, please, I'm sorry. Like someone was raped. They were murdered. It was awful.

I was insensitive, baby. Take me back. They were raped. They were murdered. And we get to the place where we're going and she goes up to the doorman and he's, you know, it's almost like, you know, just putting someone's fingerprint on a door to get access. Like, she appears to be who she is.

He doesn't know that she's no longer really in her body. So he lets us go up to the penthouse. And we're at the penthouse door, like 2.30 in the morning. And she's just banging on the door. And I'm just going like, I've already, like, this has already gone horrible. These people answer the door, my duck is cooked. And so she's banging. And thank fucking God they didn't answer.

And so then we go back down. We take a cab back to the hotel. and then we go into the room and then the next morning she wakes up and she's like, oh, that was a pretty good sleep and I was like, what do you remember? And she was like, nothing. I was like, well, I've got some goddamn updates for you.

I was like, you're going to say it's raped and murdered and we almost broke up in front of your parents because of it last night. And that was the worst parental meeting. And I bombed the weekend, just bombed the weekend. But I want to be clear here, you stayed with this woman for two and a half years. No, no, no, no, like a year.

Probably about another nine months after this, for sure. Another nine months. You were still on the high of Borat. We were on Borat fumes, as we all were. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll do it. Wow, what an incredible story, Gareth. I do have a question.

Did you learn anything from this experience that you have carried on with you for the rest of your life? Did this teach me anything? Do you take ambient sleep? There's no point in just sleep. It's there for sleep. You know what? That is a lesson that is actually. actually on the box.

Yeah, it says it right there. It's right there in the commercials. When they sing the theme song for Ambien, they say, go to sleep, bitch. Bad dates. Bad dates. Now, next up, we have the one and only Yamanika Saunders. Yamanika, now give me the rundown. Where are you at relationship-wise right now?

God only knows. I don't know what's going on over here. It's been a ragging my tag, a random motherfuckers in and out of this apartment. You see my cat over here, he's in fatigue because he don't know what nigga gonna walk through the door next. Yeah.

That's really hard on an animal. They don't know if they should invest in the relationship. They're like, what's happening in here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I can tell when the fuck motherfucker walk through my door because the cats immediately,

they disappear. They're like, not this one. So, you know what I mean? Yeah. They're intuitive creatures. They're intuitive creatures. Yeah. So Yamanika, tell us now in your, I'm sure, illustrious dating history where this story takes place.

So there was a security guard at one of the clubs, you know, that I worked at the time. And he was cute, but he, I, you know, I don't know what it's like for men, but as a woman, you look at a man right away, you know, if you're going to fuck him or not. And you also know, like, you feel something like this may not be right, like my desire to have sex with him. maybe overpowering the fact that he doesn't make any sense for me. And I think that... I think we all three of us are very familiar with the feeling of our penis overpowering our brain. Yeah, I will say, every... You know it when you want to fuck them.

You're just wrong a lot of the time. Yeah. Okay, good, good, good. But this definitely was, you know, he was a man. He was intriguing, but he wasn't for me. and I wound up going on a date with him. He took me to snakes on a plane. Okay, all right.

All good dates start with Keenan Thompson is what I said. There's a nice, like, imagery there. It's like snakes on a plane. There's a snake, you know, there's snake, like, you know, anything to get you in the mood, you know, to put the phallic nature of everything in your head. I think it was very subconscious. like yeah he was doing he knew what he was doing snakes in the plane right snakes in the pants you know so anyway he um i'm not somebody that does well with horror and um i'm also somebody

is very vocal one of my really good friends lea bonima she said we're both scorpios and she was like bitch if you say something we went to go see kill bill and she was like bitch if you say another word i'm gonna kill you so like i can only be quiet when i'm in the movie with her because she's going to threaten my life. But like, I'm the type of people were like, uh-uh, I get the fuck of body here. So we went to go see... Not good for stakes on a plane, really.

No, I got to say this real quick on the side. We went to the movies, a bunch of comics, and this was for Leah's birthday. And I think we were seeing a lip team or whatever the fucking movie was. And there was a white man in a trench coat that walked down towards the front of the theater. And he had a briefcase.

But Leah told me never to say nothing to her or she was going to punch me in the throat. So I thought he was going to kill everybody, but I didn't know how to tell everybody. So I just decided to leave and save myself. Oh. Right? Because she told me not to say nothing. She said, don't say nothing.

It sucks that this is so real. And I also love that you said, hey, you didn't want to know. Guess what? You're not going to know. You're not going to know. And that means sometimes it's going to kill you. You understand? Yeah.

And then did you tell her eventually the deal? You were like, look, I left because I said, oh, I'm just so glad you all alive. Um, so. so um but anyway so we go see snakes on the plane i'm not good and first of all we're late he shows up in commando shorts but not the short shorts like the shorts that could be pants if you if they weren't shorts you know what i mean like kind of but they are but not like they were loose at around the cabs and they're big they're big right yeah and he had wife beater on it was like what's happening here no he's dressed like juvenile i will say

that what you've just described is now the Bushwick Faggett uniform, but back in snakes in a plane, that was not fatigue. That was not what we were wearing. I was like, oh, he got a lot of problems and I don't know if I can solve any of them, right? There's snakes on his plane.

Child, they were snake. And we don't walk in late because he was so busy. I was like, let me just go ahead and get the tickets, but he didn't want no woman getting tickets. And I was like, that's crazy. So we had a whole argument. So anyway, we get in there about maybe 10 minutes or late or something.

there was a part where you know something shit popped off I said oh like that right he said be quiet okay first of all that was the cutest scream that is that is a first date scream that is like a woman

performing first date scream it's not a visual medium you cannot see it but when I tell you Yamanika looked so demure so feminine so like oh the scream was perfect it was perfect

I can't believe he told you to shut up. He said, show, somebody got to light noise. You know what's going on in here. I said, I mean, I'm scared. And then when I turned, I just turned my face into him, he turned my face back and made me look at the screen. Oh, my God, that's not a wrong with it. Snakes on a plane does not deserve this type of respect.

No, it's a crazy. Right. And he told me he paid for it. So now I got to see all the damn snakes on the motherfucking plane. I said, well, niggum, we were. Missed Three Snakes arguing before the movie starts. So, I mean, so anyway, I'm like sitting here with this guy. I was like, oh, he's crazy.

Now, the part of me that kind of like got turned on because, you know, women love a crazy motherfucker that might strangle you. But the other part was like, no, no, he got these cargo shorts. And he keeps telling you to shut up. And he keeps making you see murder and mayhem. You can't be with him. So he starts telling me after the date. He wants to walk along the Hudson.

First of all, never do that. Okay? I don't care how cute they make it look. It's a family of rats that run the Hudson, honey, and they're doing a sweatshop of rats. There's nothing but rats on the Hudson, okay? Rats on the bridge. Per capita, what I'm telling you is, go over there and see. Go over there.

Take your little pot barn over there and sell the drugs over there to the rats. The rats in New York City have full-time jobs. That's why the nigger was in the subway selling pizza. They got to work. Okay, so now we're walking down the damn Hudson. He got the damn cargo shorts on. It's windy and shit. So now the wind blowing up on his damn shorts and shit

and it looks like a puff bonnet and his balls. He's telling me all this nonsense about how he won a woman like this and a wife. And I said, oh, I can't be with this guy. And as he's telling me more and more, he's holding my hand and he's like crunching my hand, crunching my hand. So I said, we ended the day. I said, listen, I told him I one of my girlfriends, I said, I can't see this guy. I said, but also he's at one of the clubs that I go to. I mean, like, he's crazy, and I don't know.

And I'm like, how can I need him to be turned off by me? Sometimes women have to do that. You have to get a man to be turned off by you so he doesn't do it. Because if you tell him no and he doesn't have to eat that, he'll hurt you. You got to make him think it's his idea. His idea. So I'm like, yo, I got to turn this guy off. But the thing is, you see me sitting here today.

It's hard. That's a tall order. It's hard to turn men off. Look at me. My skin is nice. Moisturized. Lips pop in here. Everything is looking right.

Everything is in the right spot. Everything is in the right spot. He called me two nights later on the phone. I said, told him, I said, listen, I just want to let you know. I've been going through a lot of stuff and I wasn't able to tell you this, right? Going through a lot. My family, they're trying to take me back to the sustainer self. Because you know what I mean?

Like men, once you start telling men a problem, they ready to get the fuck about it. They don't want no bitch with a problem. They want their bitches ready to go. So the more you tell a nigga, the more he going to step back and go, okay, bitch, you on your own. So I said, yeah, I'm surprised he didn't hang up as soon as you said, I've been going through something really hard and then like just split. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, he was still there enough to the point where I had to make up a drug that I was on. So I'm sitting there, my girlfriend, one of my girlfriends is over my crib, and she's there with me. We was watching the movie already having a good time. I'm trying not to laugh, right? Because she's looking at me lying to this motherfucker. I'm trying not to respond. But also, he wants to know what type of medications because he's talking about he crazy too. Oh, no.

So I was like, I'm on NEPA Perfran. I don't even know what the fuck that is. I just made up some shit. I said, that sound like some shit. NEPA and Perfran. And I said, yeah, it causes my eyes to go in and out. It causes everything. I said, just two days ago, I was trying to climb up the Statue of Liberty.

And I, and I, can you imagine my surprise when a black woman finally climbed the Statue of Liberty? I said, I didn't find that bitch. She didn't get me no credit. Yeah, but him and I, we now, thank God he went on about his business and I didn't have much of a problem with him. But he had to be one of the worst dates ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm really upset that he shamed you for any of that behavior, Yamanica, because I think that's exactly what the fucking, especially a movie like snakes on a plane,

that's what that fucking movie was made for. Do you know, Joe, how many times I've told this fucking story and nobody has ever given me love like this? Thank you, because I feel seen, because you're right. What the fuck is he doing? Yeah. If you do, like, that's something you do during the brutalist, but it's not something you do doing like snakes.

Well, the idea that you're going to miss one minute of snakes on a plane and be lost as to what is happening. There's still snakes on the plane. Yeah, they're still there. Yeah, it wasn't giraffs on the plane. Yeah, we're still on the plane. There's still snakes. We get the gist, okay?

And yeah, and it sounds like, like, I don't know, a scream like that, it's like, that's exactly what I want in a movie theater. Anyways, thank you so much, Yamanika. Are you still taking Nepapapapharana? Bad beats. Ending us out, the very funny Sean O'Connor. Sean, give us the lowdown. Where are you at right now, relationship-wise? What's your status?

I've been married for 10 years with a child. We just got a new dog, so that is breathing new life into our marriage. And honestly, I just feel content. my SSRIs are just making it so I'm never horny at all but hey we're all living you've been together for 10 years and you've got a dog and a kid

it's fine it'll come back it'll come back right when you need when you need it trust me I've been there what was your before you met your wife and you've been together for 10 years

what was your style of dating was it sort of fucking around was if you were you fuck boy were you relationship guy what was your deal Oh, I was relationship guy, like, and quick. Like, I, I'm like, this is, I think, going into the mental illness of it. But, like, I would date somebody for, like, a month.

And then I'd be like, we should move in with each other. And then, like, in New York, it was like very acceptable. Sort of appropriating lesbian culture a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. I think I have major lesbian energy, period. Like, I mean, I love the Indigo girls. And, like, and, like.

But, yeah, that was who I was in New York. Like, I was always quick to make things of fish. Well, I will say in New York, when you ask someone to move in or to say, like, we should move in together, quite frankly, that is an economic decision that makes sense for a lot of people. I know so many people who rush to get there because they're like, oh, my God, we could split the rent. And, like, that is so insane how New York warps your brain about. like the realities of living with a partner. It's so funny.

It is. And it was like, I kind of liked that. But now I'm like, I've evened out. I know who I am now. And I'm, if I could move out from my wife, I would. But like, very romantic. We need our space.

But my story is definitely in this, like, prime period. It is the Bush years. It's early 2008. Like, Oh, wow. We had, like, hope and change was coming. Hope and change was coming.

Yeah, we had that vibe. We had that vibe, but I had just broken up with this girl who, you know, I think I definitely said, I love you to her too quickly. Like,

I think I said it on her, like, third date. Oops. Listen, I, you know, I felt it.

That's okay. It's a safe place now. Yeah. But that's madness. But, But we dated for like three months, and it ended poorly. But so that puts me in this, like, perfect scenario for what's about to happen. So I'm like, you know, like, I'm lovelorn or whatever like that.

So my friend Adam sends me a Craigslist ad all. Every great story. Every great story begins with my friend Adam sent me a Craigslist ad. Not a friend now. Yeah. And we see each other once a year in Las Vegas. I think that is, our friendship has maintained the level of, like, The Craigslist of cities.

Yeah, I was just about to say, oh, my God. Uh, so, so the Craigslist ad is that they are looking for comedians to go on a date on television. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. At this time, I'm like, I'm fresh to New York. I'm 23 years old. I am like, I'll do anything to be on TV, especially date, because, like, I am feeling so lonely. Yeah, two birds, one stone, yeah.

Definitely the time to do it. I get on the phone with a producer, and the producer gives me the, like, the skinny. And the skinny is, this is the Tyra Bank show. They are trying to get a virgin out of her shell. She is a virgin. She's only been on three dates her entire life. And, like, to break her out of her shell, they're looking for comics

to go on a date with her. This is unreal. Tyra Banks is selling a girl's virginity on live TV to the funniest comedian. Like, that was a wild time in TV. I have to say. Tyra is an icon. She got away with them so much.

She should be in prison. It's like three months after fat suit gate. Like, Tyra has never been hotter than right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so I go in and I find out the other two people going on a date are Adam Newman and Sean Patton, and we are all just like,

this is, this is going to be weird, right? So the producers, like, talking to us, like, doing the pre-interviews, like, talking about what kind of comedy do you do? And, like, Sean Patton does his act for them, and they're like, oh, perfect, you are very funny. And then I do my act for them, and they're like, you are not confident enough

to do this on the show. They're like, you need SSRIs. So they're like, do you have anything else? And I'm like, oh, I do prop comedy sometimes, which I do not. At all? Oh, my God. At all. This is that, you lied about doing prop comedy.

Never happened before. It's like, I'm trying to think about like what that is like lying. I'm trying to think of the right analogy here that's not going to be like. That's like driving a Mercedes and being like I drive an 87 jet. like Pontiac. Exactly. What kind of problem you're supposed to use

on this day? Vibrators? I don't understand what's happening. That's a great segue to me going through my Bushwick apartment

looking for any prop. And all I have is a whale hand puppet, which is not a prop for a prop comic. It is a prop for like

a ventriloquist. So I'm not even doing prop comedy. I show up with a whale hand puppet. but the producer's like, great. So I'm the third one going on a date. They do their dates.

I'm not allowed to see it. I'm in like a blackout room, but they're allowing me to have an open bar while I'm waiting for three hours. Of course. It was this era of reality TV. So I have like five to six vodka sodas, and I am just drunk.

Like, it's not, it's not even like a fun type of drunk. I am like, you shouldn't probably just put me in a cab now. You shouldn't be on the entire bank show doing prop comedy as a ventriloquist drug. We were rooting for you. We were all rooting for you. I know. By the way, it's amazing to be the only one telling a story where I was the bad part of the bad thing. Yeah, you are the villain.

Yeah. So they're like, all right, you're ready to meet her. I meet her. She's very nice. and then I sit down and the producer stops me and calls me out again like two minutes into the date and it's like you gotta do the act

so I'm like okay so you try to really date her so I go back and I'm not on a real date anymore and I like pull out the whale ham puppet after I order a glass of water with salt in it and I put the whale handpuppet in the water

and just start asking about her dating history and like a weird voice. So she's having like an immensely bad time. And then every time she asks me a question, I'm going between doing whale puns, like where I keep answering her with, well, I would say, Oh, no.

That's a good bit. That's not terrible. Did this make it, I feel like I've seen this shit? You probably have. I feel like it is online and I'm. We will be searching YouTube. The listeners will be searching YouTube. I will be watching this.

No, we're not going to let you get away with that. That's crazy. Yes. So we do the whole date. At the end, I see her, like, tearing up. She had a really bad time. Oh, my God. It was my fault.

No, it's a producer's cool. But I'm drunk, so I'm like, who cares? Like, whatever. So then I have to see her again because we have to go to the Tyra Bank show. So we go to the Tower Bank Show. to the Tyrant Bank show and like basically in the on the show that I did not make it to air but she talks about how I'm putting her off of dating oh my god she wants to stay virgin all it took was prop comedy and I and I I think that's a real indictment on prop comedy you guys

pack it up okay pack up your powerpoints pack up your little props you're you're ruining women's lives. And then she says, I wish I got to know the real shot and not his act, which is actually the part that hurt the most. Because that was the real shot. And did you say, whale, he's here too? Gareth, you are so close to true. Because I carried over the whale thing to Tyra.

And Tyra, it made Tyra laugh. And I, there was, she really liked whale. she made me pull out the puppet. She put it on her hand. She called me a weirdo. And the whole time when I got there, they told me to not look Tira in the eyes. And then I don't know if you know this,

but Tira has the most beautiful eyes in the world. They're gray. So the entire time, I just made direct eye contact with Tira Fanks. I couldn't look away. And I ruined this girl's dating life. Eventually a year later, she came to UCB and we showed the clips.

And my friend Dan hooked up with her. Oh, well, damn, you threw up business. All out the streets. You know what? You throw a business everywhere for everybody to know. That's wild. Sean O'Connor,

what did you learn from this story? What have you taken with you on into the rest of your life? I can only imagine. I mean, truly, don't look Tyra in the eyes. Don't look Tyra in the eyes. Do not look Tyra in the eyes. Bad dates.

Thank you guys so much. This was so much fun. Banger stories from all three of you. Gareth Reynolds. What is next for you? Where can people find you? What are you doing these days? I'll be Googling Tyra Banks show Sean O'Connor in 30 seconds.

But outside of that, I have a new podcast coming out June 5th called Next We Have. And you can listen to the call and advice show. I have a Jake Johnson called. We're here to help and go to girith Reynolds.com for tour days. Love it. Yamanika, where can people find you? What are you doing these days? Well, you can find me on anything at Yamanika on social media.

And please, I have a new special out on YouTube, a self-produced called White Nigger. You can go watch it. It is on YouTube. White people type in nigger and then immediately erase your search history. I'm not responsible for what happens after that. There better be a special. It is a special.

It is my special. You can get it on my page on YouTube, Yamanika. It really is just me breaking down what happened over the history of time of white niggas. I love that. I want to thank you, Joel, for having me so much. I'm a huge fan of yours, and I love that at the same time. And these beautiful men you had me on with today, it just was a lovely time. So thank you.

Thank you very much for being here with us. And Sean O'Connor, finally, where can people find you? What are you doing these days? Social media at Shono Kans with a C. I have a podcast called Off the Records with B Money and the Ocom Man, where we listen to old comedy records through the look at them through today's perspective and then I'm on tour with Nikki Glazer on the Alive and on well tour all dates for the rest of the year. Love, love, love. All right, that is incredible. That has been our episode this

week. You guys, if you liked what you heard, please give us a rating and review wherever you're listening to this podcast. It really helps other people find the pod. We will be back next week with more Bad Dates. Goodbye. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey Produced, edited, and engineered by Devin Tori Bryant. Produced by Anne Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann.

Social media producer is Tommy Galgana. Executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Music by Cushie and Evan Schleder. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it. at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3283. That's 984-265-3-2-83.

That's all for this week. We will be back for more. Bad dates. Thank you.