Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Re-Release: The Whispers...Of Tyrese (w/ Zoe Lister-Jones, Lamorne Morris, and Adam Pally)

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

February? No, no. Date-U-Ary! For the next few weeks, please enjoy repeat performances of some of the Bad Dates team's favorite episodes.On this episode of Bad Dates, Jameela welcomes Zoe Lister-Jones, Lamorne Morris, and Adam Pally to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Zoe tells us about a suitor who couldn't pass up a free meal, Lamorne talks about falling for a woman on the lam and losing his date to a man in slow motion, then Adam describes a date night fight with audience involvement. Plus a letter from a listener describes a prom prevented per parental proclivities. Zoe Lister-Jones created and stars in Slip on The Roku Channel, Lamorne Morris will appear in the new season of Fargo on FX, and Adam Pally appears in the Netflix series FUBAR alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger, and is in the movie Who Invited Charlie?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm Afwa Hirsh. I'm Peter Frankopan. And in our podcast, Legacy, we explore the lives of some of the biggest characters in history. This season, we delve into the life of Michael Gorbachev. This season has everything. It's got political ideology. It's got nuclear Armageddon. It's got love story. It's got betrayal. It's got economic collapse. One ingredient you left out, legacy. Was he someone who helped make the world a better place, saved us all from all of those terrible things, or was he a man who created the problems and the challenges

of many parts of the world today? Those questions about how to think about Gordbacherov, you know, was he unwitting character and history, or was he one who helped forge and frame the world? And it's not necessarily just a question of our making. There is a real-life binary in how his legacy is perceived. In the West, he's considered a hero. And in Russia, it's a bit of a different picture.

So join us on legacy for Mikhail Gorbachev. Hello, I am Alice Levine, and I am one of the hosts of Wondry'sries podcast British Scandal. On our latest series The Race to Ruin, we tell the story of a British man who took part in the first ever round the world sailing race. Good on him I hear you say, but there is a problem, as there always is in this show. The man in question hadn't actually sailed before. Oh, and his boat wasn't sea worthy.

Oh, and also tiny little detail almost didn't mention it. He bet his family home on making it to the finish line. What Insued was one of the most complex cheating plots in British sporting history. To find out the full story, follow British Scandal wherever you listen to podcasts, or listen early and add free on Wondry Plus on Apple Podcasts or the Wondry app. Hi, I'm Anna. And I'm Emily.

We're the hosts of Wondry's podcast Terribly Famous, a show where we bring you outrageous true stories about our most famous celebrities. And our latest season is all about the one and only Katie Price. You might think you know her, you might have an opinion, but there is way more to the former glamour model than just her cup size. Yes, this is a woman who's gone from pin-up to publishing sensation. We all have teenage dreams and for Katie it was simple, massive fame and everlasting love. I just wanted to kiss a boy, just one boy. Well she does kiss a few boys, but there are plenty of bumps along the way.

And when I say bumps, I mean terrible boyfriend choices, secret dates with spiky-haired pop stars, and a tabloid press that wants to tear her apart at every opportunity. And she surprises even herself when suddenly she becomes a role model for a whole new generation of young women who want to be just like her. Want to hear more? Follow Terribly Famous wherever you listen to podcasts or listen early and add free on Wondery Plus on Apple Podcasts or the Wondery app.

Bless me on. comments and for a lot of you, your submissions of your own bad dates for our listener mailbag. We could not have done the show without you. In honor of everybody's favorite month, Date You Worry, we're doing staff picks. This is one of my picks as one of my favorite episodes. We called it the Whispers of Tyrese and it features the incredible Zoe Lister-Jones, Adam Pally, and Lamornne Morris. And what I love about this episode is not only are the stories crazy, but the three of them are really good friends and you could feel that right out of the gate.

Amazing energy, incredible stories. I hope you enjoy it. And again, thank you so much for listening to the show. I know someone who got out of jail, found an old flip phone, had all this Bitcoin on it, pre-jail. What? And came out and had like $40 million worth of Bitcoin.

And I would say that's a metaphor for my dating life. Both. Both. Yeah. What? What? Yeah. Yikes.

I'm not going to even take it. That's good. Great. That analogy. That's great. Yeah, yeah. What? Yikes, I'm not gonna even I'm just kidding, great! That analogy is so all over the place Are you the Bitcoin? Are you the phone? Are you the person that finds the phone? I am lost in that analogy Bad dates

Bad dates Oh Jesus Christ on a bicycle Adam Palli, Zoe Lister Jones, Lamor Morris, hello and welcome to Bad Dates. How is everyone? Good. How are you? Good. I'm good. I'm so excited that you're here. This is a podcast that is just about everything that we do and are willing

to encounter on the road to love, to shagging and both. And I have had a very limited dating life because of my personality and therefore I like to vicariously live through the lives and stories of others. And so I'm thrilled that you're all here and I can't wait to hear your stories. Before we get into that, I just wanna ask you all, just to put the shoe on the other foot, what is it like, do you think, to date you? Starting with Lamont. Ooh, to date me.

In a word, glorious. Gotta be that. So it is a world wind for sure. No, I could say, well, there's two versions of me. There's pre-child and then there's post-child, you know. Before I had a kid, I would say I was a fairly adventurous individual. You know, I like to do things,

not like outdoorsy or anything, but I'd like to. You just mean sexually, yeah. Yeah, not stuff, you know, all kinds of stuff. If that's the whole I'm going no I just I just I you know It's pretty general with me, you know, I like to do everything I like to experience everything or play or try everything not talking sexually. I'm just talking overall You know what I mean? I was gay. Yeah, fun loving guy. Yeah, but now but now I gotta say bitch. I ain't got the time but now I gotta say, bitch, I ain't got the time. I don't.

No, I just, I'm just, I just, I'm busy. I have a kid and I would love to do things. But I'm the kind of guy now that's more laid back and I'll allow you to steer the ship, you know? And I'm still getting- Cause you're tired. I'm tired. Am I focused enough?

Yeah, you're a bit tired, babe. I'm just a little girl, you know what I mean? So it's just been, it's been a down two and a half, I haven't been dating anybody really. I'm not gonna lie to you. Also you can't take the same kind of risks as you could when you were adventurous, cause now someone's depending on you.

So that sort of bungee jumping first date is no longer on the cards. No, no, oh. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I feel that, I feel that. But it sounds like you're a respectful, fun loving guy. That sounded great.

Very respectful. Breathe the child. Now it sounds like a shame. Zoe, what would you say it's like to date you? Oh God. You know, well, I don't know. I was in a relationship for so long. I was in a relationship for 17 years.

So I haven't also, haven't had a ton of dating experience. Lamore just had a stroke. You knew that Lamore and also like. I know. Also. Also by the way, sorry. Love that you will know each other because it means that you can all call each other out

on any bullshit that comes out here. Any propaganda that you put out here about your dating lives can be deconstructed by the friend. I would never call anybody out on that. I would be like, good for you. Yeah, yeah, stones from glass houses. Both Adam and Lamorne have played my partners in films. That's true.

So they could talk about what it's like to fictionally date me. Yeah, very clingy. Yeah, I was like. I would like to know what they think it's like to fictionally date me. Well, we were fictionally married. We were fictionally married. So it was, it's a little different. It's a little different.

We were fictionally pegging, I different. We were fictionally pegging, I think. We were fictionally pegging. And I think between, I think pegging and marriage, it does sort of sum up what it's like to date me. It's somewhere between those two things, or both of them at the same time. Adam, what would you say it was like to date you? I think it's probably pretty great to date me.

I mean, the only negative is that I am married. No, I think there's probably ups and downs, you know, from someone who's kind of lived a life. And like, I think, this is very politician. No, I'm trying to be like, like, I didn't finish sense, like, live life in entertainment. And so there's a certain like narcissism that I think is probably very hard to date me in a lot of ways. So I would probably apologize for that beforehand and then hope that it doesn't get too out of control that the relationship can sustain.

Oh, such a sincere answer. I applaud that, Adam. That's great. Bad dates. Bad dates. Zoe, your story is called The Rule Breaker. Well, this was like in college. And I, so I had not yet met my ex-husband. And this, I started to, there was this boy that was my age in college, maybe a year or two older. And he was covered in tattoos.

He had like so many piercings. And I was like immediately drawn to him. He felt like a, he felt like trouble. Started to like date, sort of casually, but we were spending like some time together. And when we first went out to eat, we went to the Selka sort of a, you know, a classic East Village establishment.

And as we're passing like a table that's just cleared, he picks up a piece of half-eaten cake off the plate and puts it in his mouth with his hands. And my whole... You broken the morn. My whole body sort of atrophied. What I said, I didn't even know how to address it. Like I just-

Did you think he was doing a bit? Like trying to shock you? No. No? Okay. I mean, yes. I was like, I just, I was paralyzed. I was like, so we sat down and I didn't say anything.

And we kept eating and the whole time I was like, I'm in such I'm in such severe danger. Do you know what I mean? Like I was like, this is I saw my life last night, but I stayed with him. We didn't talk about it. And then we were walking down the street. We did. I was like, we're not going to a restaurant. We're walking down the street and we walk past like a patio that has tables. Uh-huh.

And just walking down the street, he reaches over that patio, he grabs some half-eaten sandwich, picks it up and then we keep walking and he's eating someone's... someone's garbage. Someone's garbage. And so then I had to ask him what was happening. And he didn't like readily identify as a friggin, although that was like, sort of like, explain what that is for everyone. A friggin was like, at that time, especially it was like people that were like, dumpster diving, but like to make, like to make a statement about like food waste or the environment. Yeah, they weren't people who needed to eat like

that. They were people who chose to as an identity. Right. And he was also dabbling in like Hari Krishna. So there were things at play. But I almost would have respected it more if it was like, if he was trying to make a political statement. I think he was just trying to fuck with me. And then he like, he shaved his entire head and just left one patch of a rat tail in the back. And that's what I started to feel that, you know,

it was, I was being sort of, I was being tested, sort of minute by minute. But the biggest test was that when we went to have sex, he did have eight barbells in his dick that were... Oh my God. Sorry. What the fuck is going on? What do you mean by barbells? I don't have sex with them. Exactly. Don't say barbells casually as if we all know what that is.

Explain explicitly what that is. gonna say barbells casually, as if we all know what that is. Explain explicitly what that is. I have a moment's ear story. Explain the barbells. Wait, talk about the barbells. What are we seeing here? We have shaft. What's on and in. Yeah, is this like a peloton?

Like what? It's not a pussy. Yeah, go on. Yeah, so they were 25 pounders sort of hanging. No, so they were 25 pounders sort of hanging. No, so like they were like horizontal. They were perpendicular to the shaft on the underside of the shaft going. Do you know, can you picture what I'm saying?

So just sort of like a ladder. Like a ladder. Going through with knobs on the outside. That's right. Like folds on the outside. Okay. She said climb up on that man. But I can't climb at least.

Yeah. You chip a tooth? And I had never had braces, so I was like really, like, you know, these were bad. It's a good thing you didn't, you would have been electrocuted. Yeah. Fucking Barry.

And then I knew that I had to break up with him and... Why? Well, yeah. Mostly because I didn't like his... Dick. No, I'm just kidding. His dad had a crazy sports car. That was really cool. But no, he, and so it was a very like,

sort of romantic comedy moment of like us biking around New York and me like calling to him from the bike, being like, I don't think this is working. And I just wanted to be able to bike away, you know. And, but he was like, he was like, I'm breaking it. He was like, no, I'm bringing up with you. And so riding down the street, we were fighting about who was bringing up with who

on the bikes and then we crashed. Oh my God. We crashed on Houston and we put them to get up in the middle of Houston and sort of like part, we did laugh and we parted ways. Oh no. So why had he done that to his penis just out of curiosity? Well, I think because he was young and experimenting and I think he was like, look, you know,

he was looking to like probably make his parents angry. But was he ripped for your pleasure? Like what is? I don't think that was his intention, right? Because also it made safe sex impossible. Oh, God. Maybe that was his intention. Yeah, maybe that was, was this Nick Cannon?

So anyway, it was Nick Cannon and I didn't, that was was this Nick Cannon Man I can see Nick Cannon liking to ride on the back of a two-person Interesting Adam were you picturing that tandem? Yeah. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. We're gonna put a tandem bike. Okay, so I have one of my best friends is a, is Fruegan adjacent where he will like sit in like, Nando's is a chicken restaurant that we love to go to in London. And he will get up off a table. Like, we have a full table of food,

the fresh food just for us. And if he sees people on tables around us leave, half eaten chicken, he will leave the fresh food that has only touched his mouth. And he will go to their table and eat their chicken off the bone. Off the bone. Which feels like sucking someone else's lollipop.

Like that to me is like, I can take a cake. I can, you know what? I can take a cake. I'll take a cake. But eating, you know what? I can take a cake. I'll take a cake. But eating someone else's chicken off the bone. Fucking horrifies me. If you don't need to, it horrifies me. I get the point that everyone's making,

but for me, I'm just like, then if I kiss you, then what, whose germs am I getting on my mouth? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Here in the nanda. Oh, that is foul and interesting. I will say, I have been known to like come back to a hotel drunk and if there is like room service

left in the hallway. Oh, 100%. I have grabbed. You have? Yeah, I've grabbed a chicken finger. A french fry. A fry, a fried shrimp. I would never grab anything that looks like

it's been in anyone else's mouth. Nothing bit. Nothing bit. We're not animals. I'm not a, come on. Yeah, yeah. I, do you go out of your way to, have you ever lifted the lid very quietly?

Yeah, okay, my man, my man. Jamila, look at me. I'm so with you, yeah, yeah. Look at me. I'm a lid lifter. I'm a lid very quietly. Yeah, okay, my man, my man. Jamila, look at me. I'm so with you, yeah, yeah. Look at me. I'm a lid lifter. I'm a lid lifter. Yeah, you don't get a full face from not lifting the lid. Good for us.

I'll tell you something, I do like to share a lollipop. All right, that's a metaphor. And from experience. No, but from experience of being fake married to Zoe, I will say that Zoe will overlook, like she still dated that guy for a long time with a ladder dick. She dated ladder dick for a while.

Did you ever shank the ladder dick? Did you try it? Just to try it. I was too afraid. Yeah, that's fair. So like Zoe is like a very loving, like, you know, very loving, very, very like, like I feel like it, I don't think that if Zoe and I came

back to a hotel wasted and I ate like a fried shrimp that that would be a game. A deal breaker. You know what I'm trying to imagine you wank off. I just trying to imagine like, how does one wank off someone with that many bolts in their penis? Do you sort of have to approach it like a recorder?

I didn't. No, no, I know. I'm asking. I'm not asking. It's not about you anymore, Zoe. Sorry. Why don't you just calm down? You're saying like the royal you?

The royal you? Yeah, like the fingers. Do you have to put your fingers in between each? It's like a football. It seems in between each? Like a football? Like a bowling ball. Like a recorder and then just sort of do like sort of mini-wanks in between each section. You gotta play like a flute. Wow.

You gotta live though it. This man is living on the edge. He's really lived. We should get him on the show. Okay. We'll be right back. Bad Gates. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards,

played by HBO's Industries, Myhalla Harald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound, eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make the list. Bishop Gray is all coveted academic top 10 curated by the headmaster himself, but after realizing she has no chance at the list on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the

strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. When I say the word history, what do you think about?

Horses and buggies and dust and a bunch of white dudes riding their horses and buggies in the dust. Facts, definitely not enough melanin on all those history books. But we are about to flip the script on all of that. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. Together we'll weave Black History's most overlooked figures back into the rightful place in American culture

and all over the world. Follow Black History For Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. ["Hat Dates"] Hat dates. And we're back. Lamont, your two stories are called New York stories. It's very elusive and I'm dying to hear what happened.

Let's go with the first one. So when I dated in New York, it was probably in the beginning of my hourly sexual phase, I guess, when I was like, I had just lost my virginity previous to move into New York. Then lost it late, I guess you would say. I was 19, and then. Does in-witly sexual being the opposite of that

just mean a lot of wanking? Just a lot of porn. Fair, that's fair. No, no, no, no porn. I didn't, back in the day, it was too scrambled. You know, you have to watch CineMax and the TV was like this. So I didn't watch porn, you know what I mean? I just used my imagination, tentatively.

Did you watch MTV spring break though? Oh yeah! Oh! Oh my God! I think that was our generation's porn. Yeah. The grind. The grind.

BET uncut. One of the way, I was at 106 and Park would do like, their spring break too, and it would be fun. Oh yeah. That's what happened. That's what happened. I started hosting for BET, and I moved to New York.

That's how you, oh shit. So you're a hot commodity. God, that is not to 100 as well. I was just out there dangling. You know what I was saying? I was young and new. Everybody was like, oh, he's new. You are dangling that dick? Yes. Wow. Do you have a windmill? Yeah. Come on, Jesus, I'm not a porn star. Are you? Okay, that's fair. No, right. She's wondering. What's a windmill that you go around? No, you can swing your penis or your tits. And you can just swing them round

and round and round and they generate electricity and they save the tips. With your imagination. And you can just swing them round and round and round and they generate electricity and they save the planet. That's right. Oh, that's what went in turbine. Yeah. I guess it went in turbine. So I met this girl during a time when I was like, you know, being outside a lot.

I meet this girl, everything's fine. And it was one of those New York relationships where you kind of moved quick and you went everywhere together. You walk to this bar, you go here, you go there. And I felt like I fell in love with her overnight. I introduced her to my friends, family, you know what I mean? We would, like friends were going to like the Hamptons

and I would take her and they would go, oh, we love her. And this is all within like four or five days. You know, it got to the point where- And the kissing was good, the sex was good, like everything- All of that was fantastic. Tends across the board. Fantastic, you know what I mean?

It was great for her and it was even greater for me. She, just like you said, 106 at Park, Roxy who was hosting at the time, she had these little parties at her house and I would bring out. She, just like you said, 106 at Park, Roxy who was hosting at the time. She had these little parties at her house and I would bring out. And so obviously she's like a TV personality. So she's got all these cool clothes. She's got all this cool stuff.

And she loved the girl that I was dating so much that she would like give her clothes. They were the same size. She was in her circle. And she was in my sister's circle and all that stuff. Within a few days. Within a few days. Incredible. And every time we would like walk into a door,

we burst the door open and we'd had sex and we'd throw everything off the desk. We would do it just like the white movies. The white movies. No, but so one day, one day we're sitting, we're sitting in my apartment and she says, oh, I have to go visit some family in Atlanta. I said, oh, okay, cool. She says, can you take me to the train station?

I said, when? She said, now. It's like, oh, that's quick. All right. Go to the train station, she gets a ticket. It says North Carolina. And I was like, oh, I thought you were going to Atlanta. She's like, oh, I'm going to go to the train station, she gets a ticket, it says North Carolina. And I was like, oh, are you, I thought you were going to Atlanta. She's like, oh, I'm going to go to North Carolina.

I'm going to get, I have a car there. Then I'm going to drive my car to Atlanta. And I was like, all right, this is a little strange. She goes, she leaves. And then I get a phone call. I get a phone call from the Federal Bureau of Investigation. The Federal Bureau of Investigation. They call me to inform me that this woman

that I have been seeing, that I have fallen in love with is wanted. She is a wanted fugitive. What do you mean? She on the run, y'all. She on the run. Okay, so they'd been tracking her the whole time. Yeah, so she ended up, the weird thing about it was,

you know, her, I would get these things. Wait, what had she done? Why was she on the run? It was like a, it was major credit card fraud and identity theft. Identity theft. And how was she able to pull this, like how was she doing this?

Was it just by dating people and stealing their shit? She worked in a hotel. She worked in a hotel. Oh, she's a genius. No wonder you fell in love with her. Yeah, you worked in a hotel. She had all the best rooms. Yeah.

Oh my God, that must have been such a crushing feeling, like given that you thought you were like in the love of your life. And then 100 percent. You don't know if anything. Do you feel like what you had was real, though? Do you feel like she was just like playing you for free shit and for a fun experience? Was she hiding out like, you know, your domain or was it real? I thought it was. I mean, here's the thing. When you go to a strip club,

you feel like they all fall in love with you. Yeah. Okay, a good actor is a good actor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Jesus fucking Christ.

That's one of the wildest stories I've ever heard. No one ever thinks the FBI is getting involved in their relationship. Good God. No, not at all. Unless you're... Well done for getting out of that un-stolen from. All right, so you have another story

that I also really want to hear. Okay. This was quick. This is the... It's very lovely young lady. She was in town and she was like... She had like a shoot for Victoria's Secret or something. We were... I was 20, she was 19 or 20.

I was 21. She was my age. And so she... Those numbers just shifted wildly. Yeah, that was... Wildly how? Because I was able to drink. She was 19, I was 25, she was like...

Let me start over, we were both of age. That's the most important. What? I was just saying because we were in bars, so I was trying to figure out at which part in New York did this happen, what part of my time in New York. But we were in, we were bar hop. That's what he's trying to figure out.

And so we must have been, we were 40, we were both 40. She had an ID, no, a shop. If anything, we do know that LeMonde definitely checked her ID because he was in his paranoia era. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. But we were bar hopping, we met out, and that wasn't something that I did.

That wasn't part of my, I like to stay at home, play video games, go to basketball games, do stuff like that. We were literally moving around, like going to this bar. It was the best for one night. And I was shocked just because of how beautiful this person was that she was spending all her time with me. I was like, I'm just a real girl, dude.

I was like, why you? It was weird. It felt like a movie. Because it was- It was pre-mustache. It was pre-mustache. So you have to picture it a little more and like that. Yeah, it didn't have this.

My testicles hadn't dropped yet. I was, my voice was like a lot of octaves higher. And so, I hadn't truly been that dude. And so we're moving around and having fun and we end up at this bar. And the date's going well by this point, right? When I say that dates are going well. Are you getting intimate like?

Yeah, we're like smooching a little bit. Oh, sure. We're just holding hands. We're like, we were skipping through like the meat packing district, just bar hopping. We were just like, everything was fine. Everything was very picturesque. And we end up in this other bar.

It's very dark, very moody. That's a very like so-ho-housey vibe to it. It's like, you gotta be this close to see somebody really. And then we're into each other. And all of a sudden the door opens and Tyrese walks in. Tyrese, the supermodel. Tyrese the supermodel. Yeah, a supermodel, the singer. Actor, singer, triple threat.

Owner of a hibachi table in his backyard. And a Starbucks. Sing up. Yes. Ha ha ha ha ha. Does Tyrese own a Starbucks? In his backyard. And a Benihana.

What do you mean? Ha ha ha ha. He has a giant 20 person Benny Hanna table and a personal Starbucks. Yeah. I don't know how else to be more planned about it. I. I don't know how else to be more planned about it.

If you go to Tyree's house, you call the call box. You put an order in for a latte. So I'm gonna bring you one of them. And then at night, you go sit down and they make an onion look like a choo-choo train. Yes. Sorry. So Tyrese, the supermodel of the Starbucks in his backyard walks into the room.

Then what happens? He's wearing a white fur coat. Oh, not Tyrese wearing a white fur coat. Jesus, fuck me. Christ. That's like a Hype Williams video. Don't say it. don't say fuck me. Don't say that because that's the energy

we all got when he opened the door. Yeah, it's the energy everyone gets when he opens the door. Is that Tireese? He walked in, he walked behind us. He sees me, now I'm a TV host at BET, I hadn't met him before. We had done like something before, probably like months prior.

And he says, what's up brother? And he shakes my hand and I'm like something before, probably like months prior. And he says, what's up, brother? And he shakes my hand and I'm like, oh, that's cool, Tyrese is here. He walks around me to the other side and whispers in her ear. I don't know what he said, but I look back and he's taking like two or three steps behind her

and he just stands there. She looks at me after such a lovely evening that we had and she goes, well, it was nice meeting you. Oh my God! That is fucking mental. She got up and she disappeared. Shut the fuck up. Oh, that's so upsetting and confusing, isn't it?

Gone, but never forgotten. Say her name. She's here. We say her name. I'm not gonna say her name. She's very known. Yeah. And did he know that you two were on a date

or did he presume that you were sort of, I don't know, friends with this lady? Well, there's two things going through my mind, right? He either knew her already and they had had plans on hanging out. We were, her and I were moving about and she maybe said, hey, I'm over here. Tyrese, me at the time, right now,

I put me over Tyrese, sorry. That's just, you know, the confidence that I have in myself. Good for you. Have you ever spoken to him about it since? Yes, I have. Oh my God, what did he say? He said, he said, he said, yeah, that sound like something I would do back then. So casual. Oh my God.

Her and I are still friends. Her and I are still friends. We became friends later in life and she acknowledges it. It's crazy how someone can be so hot though that there's a small part of all of our brains even though we're shocked and horrified on behalf of our good friend LeMourne. There's a tiny part, I'm sure, of everyone's brain that goes, is Tyrese? Jesus Christ.

I think I've told this story before, but I was once broken up with, and three weeks later, that person started dating Miss Universe, not Miss World, but the most beautiful woman in the universe. So I feel you on some level. Sometimes you gotta date down, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure, sure.

Hey, hey. All right, before things steam up too much. This is also crazy to be the other guest on this show. And it's like, yeah, I once got broken up with for a rabbi. You know what? One of my close friends got dumped. I got left for Prince. Can you believe that?

Prince? One of my close friends got dumped. I got left for Prince. Can you believe that? Prince? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Today, hip hop dominates pop culture, but it wasn't always like that. And to tell the story of how that changed, I want to take you back to a very special year in rap. 88, it was too much good music. The world was on fire. I'm Will Smith. This is Class of 88, my new podcast about the moments, albums and artists that inspired a sonic revolution and secured 1988 as one of hip hop's most important years.

We'll talk to the people who were there. And most of all, we'll bring you some amazing stories. You know what my biggest memory from that tour is? It was your birthday. Yes! And you brought me to Shoddy. Life-sized, hard-work cut-out. This is Class of 88, the story of a year that changed hip hop. Follow Class of 88 on the Wondry app

or wherever you get your podcasts. PADDATES. And we're back. Adam, your story is called Date Night. Yes. So I'm married and dating is we've children and we schedule these like date nights. And it's kind of like the only way that you can, make sure that you're still connected, you're not just kind of moving parallel.

It's like you gotta make sure that you're connecting. And about six months ago, we were fighting pretty bad. And like my daughter, who's eight, was sleeping in our room again. And that is like the worst. And it just like fucks everything up. And like, then you're like, sex starts to become like really hard to get to because you're like, can't, your space is gone.

And so like, then when, when that starts to fade, then you start really to like fucking like go at it. And especially if you have kids and like fucking like go at it. And especially if you have kids and you're like sharing a life, like there's so much stuff. You become roommates who don't have any sleep. Exactly. Which is the scariest type of roommate.

And even things like, you know, small things, like bits of your personality. Like I like it when this is done this way and I don't do it that way. And that's the way I do it. And you guys, if we're gonna be doing this and you're doing it this way and I don't do it that way and that's the way I do it. And you guys, if we're gonna be doing this and you're doing it this way, it's like, you know, it's all that all the time.

But we had a date night scheduled and we were like fighting so bad that like in the middle of the day, there was a moment over tax because like we couldn't even get it right over tax. Like, you know, and it's like, where do you wanna eat? I don't know, where do you wanna eat? I don't care.

Well, I don't care either, so we can eat anywhere. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, if you, then it's like, well, do you just not wanna go? It's like, no, I do wanna go. I just don't care. Well, if you don't care, then you don't care about going. So let's just call it a night and you're like,

you know what I mean? You're like, fuck it. So there was even like a midday check and we were like, I don't wanna go. And then we, we were like, no, we're going and we didn't make any reservations. And we walked down to this like really cool new ramen spot that just opened and we had been walking by a bunch

of our kids and stuff and everyone was like, I want to go there and try it. It's awesome. We walked in, we were like, can we get a table? Like you can sit at the bar, just sit at the bar. We were like, okay, and even that was a fight. Like I turned, I was like, you want to sit at the bar? And she was like, I guess, do you?

And I was like, not really. And she's like, fine, we'll go. And I was like, no, no, no, we'll go to the bar. We'll go to the bar. It's like, go to the bar. Then we're ordering. I thought it was just eggshells. It's so tense.

Like the whole time is like tense, tense, tense. And so something happened. I don't know the exact detail. It was my fault. Tyrese walked in. False. That's important. I wish Tyrese walked in at that moment.

It was my fault. But I, I said something that was along the lines of chill out. No. Yes. Yeah. Oh shit. And uh. It's such an accelerant, isn't it?

It is the most gasoline. I'm trying to describe it in the most manner way, but imagine the whole restaurant being murdered. That's what happened. Like the whole restaurant was murdered. That's what happened. Like the whole restaurant was murdered. It got so loud and heated

and things were being said like you're not worth it. You're not worth it. That the bartender was like, I think you guys should take this outside. Whoa. And so I was like, I think you guys should take this outside. Whoa. And so I was like, oh fuck, like, you know, embarrassed

and whatever, and, and, but we, but even the fight was so intense that she, that, that she left. She was like, fuck it. I don't even want to be on a date with you. And she left. And so then I had that moment where the whole restaurant had just, you know, I'll take it back. They weren't murdered.

I was murdered in front of them and they watched it. And why have you stayed at this point? She's walked out. Why have you stayed? Do you- Cause I, we didn't have- Where would it go? They didn't have a check.

Oh shit. Oh. So I was like, there was this like Billy Crystal moment like, check please, you know, and then after that, I was like, oh shit. I don't have my wallet. So I was like one second and I ran out and stopped her in the front of the restaurant and I can only assume the rest like the whole restaurant was looking at us

fucking yelling at me and I was just like, I'm so sorry. I need your wallet. Cause I don't have my wallet. She was like screaming. She took a wallet out. I went, give it to the guy. So you're in the restaurant. You're in the restaurant waiting to pay.

Yes. Everyone's looking at you. I said to the guy. So you're in the restaurant. You're in the restaurant waiting to pay. Yes. Everyone's looking at you. I said to the restaurant, I just want to let you guys know. That was my fault. I'm in the wrong. You know, it was so unnecessary for me to even like. Announce yourself. Turn and talk to everybody. Like it was so presumptuous.

Hey guys, it's me, Adam. Adam Pan. Well, I mean, it was so presumptuous. Hey guys, meet Adam. Well, I mean, it was a small New York City restaurant, you know, and they had just seen me for 15 minutes, like through an appetizer, get eviscerated to the point where, like, she left the restaurant, I had chased her down to get the money, come back in, and then, and so I was like, I just want to let everyone know.

It's my fault. And the bartender from, like so I was like, I just want to let everyone know. It's my fault. And the bartender from like across the room, loudly, goes, no, it wasn't. Oh! And I was like, you see? You see? You see? Do you see?

I was like, where is he? Do you see? Do you see? I was like, where is Steve? Oh, oh, oh. Pee, and then it was so, wow, we've never gone back to that restaurant. Of course, of course. Of course, man.

And it was really hard, and I still like six months down, and we're in a much better place, like we're really doing well, and everyone's happy, and I wanna walk by the restaurant. Like the insecure, the insecure, like, I don't know, desperate part of me wants to walk by the restaurant with like, with my family and be like, see, it all worked out!

Well, look, I'm incredibly glad that you were able to work it out. Well, look, I'm incredibly glad that you were able to work it out. I'm very sorry that you lost that ramen place, that is a true genuine tragedy. It is a bit. But also, I love hearing a date story that happens within an existing marriage. We need more stories like that because I bet

that shit happens all the time. We only associate it with single life, but I love hearing that. And thank you for sharing that story. Thank you all. You're welcome. Yeah, go on. Okay, let's just say...

Don't do this, Lamarne. Don't do this. You don't have to say it. What can you... Just give me something else to say. I'll tell you what else... I'll tell you what else to say. He's looking for a choice.

Don't say relax. Yeah. Don't say calm down. Do's looking for tools. Don't say relax. Yeah, don't say calm down. Do not say calm down. Never say calm down. Calm down is the worst. It goes calm down, relax, chill out. I think that's the order.

At least that was in the lower three. Can you massage her temples and go, ooh, easy, easy. Nope. Yeah, no, if you want to lose a finger, then absolutely. No way, man. Can you rub her womb and just say, ooh, sigh, ooh, easy. Nope. Yeah, no, if you wanna lose a finger, then absolutely. No way, man. Can you rub her womb and just say, Woosa, Woosa. I think touching is a-

What are you saying? Come on, Woosa? Woosa, Woosa. Yeah, talk to her like she's a white noise machine. Yeah. No, that's, that's, that's a- I think, I think what I tend to do is, cause I'm softly spoken and I become like alarmingly

softly spoken when I'm angry, to the point of near silence. I turn into Meryl Streep and the devil wears Prada. So it's just a cruel whisper. And I just say... No, no, no, that wasn't a question. Yeah, exactly. And I start calling him Andrea, which is really odd.

But I ask, I just say, do you think it would be possible for you to lower your voice? And I think that is the closest you can get. And even that normally means someone will go, no, I can't fucking lower my voice. But at least you haven't committed the cardinal sin of the top three gasoline sprays. That's pretty crazy, Mila.

Right? Would it be possible for you to lower your voice? You're not demanding. You're? Would it be possible for you to lower your voice? You're not demanding. You're asking if it's possible. And you're not even asking them to do it. You're just checking if that's a possibility. So for me, that feels like the most fire hazard safe. Same thing. Way of deescalating.

That's the same thing. Or I sometimes speak in an Indian accent, just to throw him, you know. I throw him and then he doesn't know what the fuck is going on or who he's now arguing with. And I highly recommend that to anyone regardless of their race in Indian accent. I'm gonna recommend that by saying,

let's all not do that. I was about to start working on my, you know. LaMourne, as much as you're. LaMourne, you're off base. You're off base. LaMourne. Every level. I can't chill out.

I feel that was it. LaMourne, chill out. What the? Oh my God, okay. Bad dates. Before you go, I have one last thing, which is that I asked our listeners to send in some of their bad date stories and someone wrote in something that I thought you would all

enjoy. So I'm going to read it to you quickly and I'd love to hear any thoughts or questions that you may have. So someone wrote in and said, a few years ago with my high school prom, a few days ago I finally worked up the courage to ask a beautiful classmate to go with me. She shockingly said yes, I rented a tux, bought a corsage for her, don't worry Tyrese is not in the story, and knocked at her door. But nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. Her mum opens the door technically wearing a terry cloth robe, but it was open down the middle and she wasn't wearing anything under it.

Okay, starting to feel like the graduate. I swear to God, I didn't look, but my peripheral vision still made me aware of something that I can never unsee. Like a stammering idiot, all I can mumble is, I can't quite believe he said this. I can see where your daughter gets her looks. No.

No. Mum is not happy. She calls for her daughter and then I hear what I hope is my date coming down the stairs but it gets much worse. Dan walks her father and I shit you not. He is completely naked. As he walks downstairs he sees me and cups himself with both hands. I'm very close to passing out.

And then two things happen simultaneously. The dad walks towards me, removing a hand from his junk to shake my hand. Ugh, with a penile imprint. Absolutely not. I start to back up out of a reflex. Just then my date comes to the door and we walk out. So I manage to escape without having any contact

with dad's nut fingers. Ugh, let's never say nut fingers again. She sees how freaked out I am and says her parents embrace the nudist lifestyle, bit like you're freaking. Which was not exactly news to me. We get in my car and at the first stop light, my shitty used car stalls and I can't get the engine to turn back on. I realise my fictional god was giving me an out, but she says that we can walk to her place and her dad can give us a ride.

Possibly a naked ride. I jokingly ask if we should just call ahead to make sure he puts some pants on and she flips out screaming at me that the only reason he walks around nude is because of the fungus he got on his balls when he was in the marines. Oh my god. Wow. So it's honourable. Yeah.

Oh my god. I mean, look at what he did for this country. Yeah. She hops out, slams my dead car's door shut, screaming that I will never understand the word, paratism. I correct her, asking if she meant to say patriotism, and the next thing I know,

she is throwing her high heels at my face and screaming that she would rather watch her mom spread ointment on her dad's sick balls than go to the prom with an asshole like me. And after some random aaa dude helped me start my car I spent the rest of my prom night with him in my tux getting drunk behind a Burger King. Oh, babe! Oh, babe. Oh, man. That is a young and scarring experience. That's a big night, prom night. Damn.

Oh, God. Oh, God, what do you do? What do you do in that situation? Have you ever had any nudist parents? Or like, you know, parent in laws? The fuck are you supposed to do in that situation? I was, my parents would take me to a nude beach growing up and so I'd have to see all of their friends' dicks and it was gross.

I didn't like it. But they were like hippies. And my mom, and it's weird when you're, because like in that story you immediately assume that they've just had sex. But if they're nudists, they're just walking around that way. Which like, but I think as a young person that is a confusing distinction to make, I remember being on the nude beach being like,

is everybody here fucking? But they're all just friends just being nude. I mean, maybe they were also fucking. Come on, Zoe. Stop it. Zoe, stop it. Yeah, I went to a few nude beaches and I was lit up. They all have fungus.

They all have fungus. The fungus thing. They all served fungus. They all have fungus. Well, the fungus thing. They all served in the military. Yes. No, I mean, no. The fungus thing really upsets me knowing that he knows he's got this fungus

and has cupped his bollocks, his fungal bollocks, and then gone to shake someone's hand. That feels a bit fucked up. What do you think he does with his honorable discharge? Yeah. Oh, okay. I heard he was awarded the purple shark. Oh, fuck.

If he knew that they were nudists, I mean like Zoe is saying, isn't that something like, don't you think that that was part of like, he was probably like, oh sweet, your parents are nudists, like, you know, I don't know. I think conceptually you imagine that they're nude on a beach.

I don't think you think they answer the door to what could be like, you know an evangelical Christian who's knocking with a survey Jehovah's Witnesses in for a shock with this family. I guess I just feel like when are the nudist hours then yeah I will say this about there the The people at home you shouldn't you be allowed to just have your dick out at home? Like you should be allowed to walk around butt naked. He walked into their environment. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

He walked into their environment. Oh yeah. It is prom night. So you don't see what you don't see. You don't smell what you don't smell. It is prom night. It is prom night. I really enjoyed,

this is the first time I've had everyone turn on a listener and it's exciting. But we are still sorry that he will never be a parrot according to this girl. Oh my God. And we are very, very sorry that he spent the shittiest night. I'm with you, mate. I'm with you. I think these bastards might not be, but I'm with you. I guess I'm just saying, if you hear that the girl you're taking to prom's parents are nudists, there's a chance they will be naked when you show up.

And look happy because there's a chance that you and her might be naked. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. It's a bit like hearing that your parents clay shoot on the weekend and then them opening the door with a fucking massive rifle. Yeah.

Yeah, I'd be like, oh right, you're clay shooters. You're gun people. Yeah, I see it. Oh my God, oh yeah, you know what? She did tell me you guys are Clay Shirkers. If I walked up to Shaq's house and there was a basketball roll across the floor, I would go, yeah, check this out.

Oh yeah, all right, we're in Shaq's house. Not the same, different kind of ball, different kind of ball. All right, we're gonna fight about this all night if we don't stop. So guys, thank you so much for your excellent stories. I've had such a fucking blast. Thank you. And thank you to our listener for bringing

truly the most divisive essay of the entire series so far. I'm so happy to know that everyone's still alive and safe and well. And I love you all. Thanks for coming. Thank you. Thank you. Mwah.

Mwah. coming. Thank you. Thank you. LaMourne Morris will appear in the new season of Fargo on FX. Zoe Lister Jones created and stars in Slip on the Roku channel and Adam Pally appears in the Netflix series Foo Bar along Arnold Schwarzenegger and is in the movie Who Invited Charlie. They're all so funny, go check out all of their stuff. Bad Dates is produced by Smartless Media and Wondery. Created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Jamila Jamil. That's me. Produced by Stuart Bailey.

Produced, engineered and edited by Devon Torrey Bryant. Talent producer is Ann Harris. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Music by Cushy and Evan Schletter. Executive producers are Will Arnett, Jason Bateman and Sean Hayes. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Cawson and Bernie Kaminsky. If you've had a bad date and you'd like to tell us all about it, our number is 984-265-3283

and our email is baddatespod at gmail.com. We can't wait to hear all about it. That's all for this week. We will see you next time for more. Bad Gates. Smart. Bless. Me.

I. Hello Prime members! You can listen to Bad Dates early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com.