Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Sad Pitt (w/ Poppy Liu, Lucas Zelnick, and Kiran Deol)

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

On a new episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians Poppy Liu, Lucas Zelnick, and Kiran Deol to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Poppy’s bad date is really more like a bad month, and the panel gives her some tough love, Lucas hits the bar with a human thought experiment, and Kiran tries a little vigilante justice. If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for Bad Dates video clips and more! Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Poppy Liu: @poppyrepublic on Insta, profile on VivinoLucas Zelnick: @lucaszelnick on social media, lucaszelnick.com for tour datesKiran Deol: @shitfromkiran on social media Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes.

Smart. Less. Media. Media. Media. Listen, my camp is 24 people. We go early. We build the camp. What's your camp?

It's called Love Club. It's two straight couples and 20 gay guys. Do the straight couples get gay with it? The straight couples are gay with it? No, I said do they get gay with it? Oh no, no. I thought you were asking like, are they okay with it? And it was like, actually, no, all 20 of us have to keep it a secret. Oh my God.

Hello. It is another episode of Bad Dates brought to you by Smartless Media. I am your host, Joel Kim Booster. And listen, this is a podcast. It's pretty straightforward. It's in the title. It's about bad dates, the worst dates our comedian friends

can think of in their past. They're all true, they are not good dates. If you want good dates, if you want romance, go listen to fucking This American Life, all right? That's not what we do here at Bad Dates. And with that in mind, as I do every episode, we're going to start with a little bit of listener advice from me. I didn't send it in, my friend Helen sent it in, but we'll be weighing in. And listen, I have, I'm in a very successful three year long relationship, so I know exactly what

I'm talking about. I know I'm an expert. So you came to the right place, Helen. Here is your letter. Bad Dates. I went on a first date with a guy who asked if I would be up for a road trip. Somehow this didn't seem crazy. So I said, yes, we lived in LA. And once we got in the car, he said we were going to San Diego to pick up his mom. Oof, should have gotten out then.

On the way he pulls into Taco Bell, drive through, without any discussion, I get nothing, he orders a ton, including Nachos Bel Grande, which is really hard to eat while driving. Before we pick up his mom, he makes another stop at a leather store where he buys a whip, and seems to know the guy at the store. I can't believe I didn't just make a run for it. We finally got to his mother's house. She got in the passenger seat and I rode in the back. There were two main topics of conversation as the ride went on. The guy telling his mom how no one would ever love him and two, the mom talking at length about her dad's

recent testicle removal procedure. It was in such detail, I felt like I could perform the surgery. My question is, what is wrong with me? So, yeah, this falls almost more neatly under the story category, unless of, I don't know where to begin in terms of advice on this one. I think, ultimately, if I'm going to put it succinctly for you, Helen, this is your problem and this is the advice. You need to listen to one single piece of true crime. Just one piece of true crime.

Read an article. It doesn't have to be a whole docu-series. Watch one single documentary about how a woman is killed. And usually it begins with a road trip. OK. I can't believe you made it to any of this. I don't watch true crime. I don't watch any true crime. But I would say for me, the red flag was when they pulled up to the Taco Bell

stand and she didn't get anything from the order. At that point, I think you can just leave the car. Well, that's a very, very good point. And listen, one of our guests has truly gone rogue, couldn't hold back. Her love of Taco Bell is so deep. I want to just waste no more time. Bring all of our guests in right now. The first person you just heard, very old friend, very good friend, former colleague.

She's an actress and a comedian. You might have seen her on shows like Modern Family and Sunnyside. Please welcome Kieran Dull, everybody. Hi, Joel. So sorry. Thank you so much for joining. Next. Oh, don't apologize. Next, another former colleague, another close friend, another someone that I love so deeply. We have matching tattoos. That is correct. She's an actress known for hacks, the after party, and again, Sunnyside, please welcome my sister, Poppy Lu. Hi, my love.

Hello, Poppy. Hi, we're famously sisters and also we invented twin zest. We invented twin zest. We invented Twin Zest. You can look that up. It's on Wikipedia. And finally, a brand new friend. I'm going to admit it. I'm not going to say that we go way back like I do with these two ladies over here because

we don't. In fact, we go back simply minutes ago where I even asked him how to pronounce his last name because I respect him and I respect his work. He's a comedian who just recently appeared on the Netflix is a Joke Festival and is on tour around the country right now. Be sure to check out one of those dates. Please welcome to the pod Lucas Zelnick. It's a pleasure to be here as the very clear last place in the brand new friend group that we're creating together. I want to let you know, I intend to come from behind. Sorry, that sounded like a euphemism, but it wasn't.

I intend to come from behind and leave the podcast as the closest friend of everyone. And win the podcast. Number one. Because podcasts are about winning. Sure. I gotta say, listen, you know, the Olympics are currently airing.

I don't know when this is gonna air, but right now, just a little peek behind the curtain, we are recording during the Olympics. And I gotta say, Lucas, I am a sucker for an underdog story. You know, it's all well and good when America, when China, you know, is dominating all of these categories as world superpowers.

But then it's so much more satisfying when it's like China bronze, America silver, and Croatia gold. You know? South Sudan, that's my think of myself. Lucas, you're the Croatia. And you, yes, you're at a disadvantage here, Lucas. You're the Croatia, I'm the China,

Kieran, sorry, you're the US. Sorry. You're the US, unfortunately. Okay, well, if Kamala's running, Kieran, sorry, you're the US. Sorry. You're the US, unfortunately. Okay, well, if Kamala's running, half Indian and me too. Hey, it's your world, we're just living in it. In this podcast, you can call me Madam President. Thank you so much. Thank you.

You guys, what are your thoughts on Helen's predicament here? I actually feel for Helen, a for the bit first date where you go on a road trip sounds fun. And I feel like you want a yes and on a first date and you want to get in there. I will say if they know the person at the leather store, you can't get back in the car. You're not allowed to know the guy at the leather store.

Even if you know the guy at the leather store, if you're with your first date, you do have to pretend as though you don't. And the person who runs the leather store. Even if you know the guy at the leather store, if you're with your first date, you do have to pretend as though you don't. And the person who runs the leather store should also know that because they run a leather store. So you can't, once the whip has been purchased, you actually don't get back in the car. But all the way up until there, even including the Taco Bell, I'm like, you know what, Helen, you sound like a fun hang. You're easy going. Yeah, it's improv. No, I think the no happens before that at the, we're going to go pick up my mom.

Yeah. That was a tough. That was in the beginning. To me, it's just the decorum of like, you go, you order food and somebody doesn't order you food. How generous is that lover going to be? How generous is that person going to be? I'll say about the Kink store, the Leather Store. We are here at Bad Dates.

This is an official party line from Smartless Media. We do believe in kink shaming. But let's get to why we've all gathered here today, why the people have tuned in to begin with, and that is your bad dates. We're going to start with Poppy. I know my girl has some bad date stories. She has been through the wringer. And I have to like, there's for various reasons, many that I can't share, legal slash HR reasons, I guess. So this is the only one that I feel like checks the can be shared category.

Okay, the one that came to mind and Joel, I know that we can both speak on the experience of going to Burning Man. So we're there in this sort of like not camp camp, and then I'm just kind of off on my own. And there's one time where I'm outside of the porta potties, because there's a gigantic row of porta potties where everyone uses the bathroom. And I'm kind of just dancing as you do. And then this is actually kind of romantic, but then it gets less romantic. I'm like dancing and then like behind me, I'm only looking at the ground where my shadow is and there's like another person that comes who's dancing with my shadow and we don't even look at each other.

We're just like dancing with our shadows and like interacting and like doing like hand puppets, et cetera. And it's very cute. We do this for- This is so beautiful in cinema. This is, you were living a Greta Gerwig movie. 100%. I was so Greta Gerwig.

I was so Greta Gerwig. Crashing Burning Man. Yeah. I had, showing up penniless to Burning Man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hated by all the tech startups. Anyways, and then finally turn around and I'll use a alias for this person

because sometimes I feel like he still sees all my stuff. So we're gonna call him Elliot. I see him, he's like very tall. He kind of looks like, he looks a little bit like biblically accurate Jesus, which is cool. He's definitely gonna know this is him, even if he use an alias.

He's gonna be like, I was that burning man and I look like Jesus. Are we talking biblically accurate as in white Jesus or historically accurate Middle Eastern Jesus? I love the awareness on this podcast. I'd say, oh, I'd say somewhere in between. Somewhere in between the great Jesus. All of the skinned.

Not brown enough to be historically accurate, but not fully white. And actually that remains a mystery because he doesn't know who his dad is. Because his mom had, there could have been two people. Sort of ironic that he's Jesus, but doesn't know who his dad is. Also, I actually don't think there's any way this man will ever know if it's him or not for sure because you've just described, you know, 30% of the men at Burning Man, ethnically ambiguous Jesus is a type for that. That's true. But then as the story goes on, it'll narrow it down. Okay.

Because, okay. Anyways, we're like, he's part of this, well, he's part of a camp called Swing City, which I was thinking that was like, okay, once I name it, then you know it. Yeah, keep going. You know. And you know everything. It's like, so it's a camp of like trapeze artists and acroyogies, et cetera.

And it was much better than my camp, which wasn't a camp. It was like a work site. So then I ended up kind of like staying with him. We're like hanging in a hammock 30 feet off like the ground. I'm like, this is so romantic, et cetera. And then the rest of the trip is like, we basically are attached to each other the entire week. And he has a tandem bicycle.

And so we just keep biking around the Playa, which is the space that Burning Man is called, on so many drugs as you do. I think I'm like candy flipping the entire time. So obviously every single day, I'm falling more and more in love with him because we're like biking under the stars. We drive, we go to deep Playa,

which is like the desert where no camps are. It's just art installations. We go to the very edge of the fence and we just stay there and like look at the stars. And at this point, you associate this man primarily with serotonin because your brain is running out of it. 100% because I've done so, yes. And so I'm just like, he's it.

And actually, okay, I'm not very proud of this, but also I don't count this as cheating because I'm 23 and like, it wasn't, it wasn't an actual relationship. This might be triggering for Lucas. Hold on. Did your boyfriend have your location at this time? This is, I was dating a fellow bartender in New York at the time, but only like two months in, in the summer. But in the way that like we were all kind of dating each other, like all the servers in my restaurant.

That's definitely cheating. It's such a kind of like, it's like, it's like, it's like, you know, hypothetically, aren't we all, aren't we all dating each other on this podcast in a way? The playa isn't real life. You know, when you're, you're at Burning Man. I married two people, but I don't think of it as polygamy more as just like finding love in multiple places. Actually, now that you're at Britain, man. I married two people, but I don't think of it as polygamy, more as just like finding love in multiple places.

Actually, now that you're saying this, maybe this is the first time I'm finally reckoning with myself that it was cheating for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't really cheating. I feel bad. I feel bad. And this wasn't even, okay.

You were 23 though, keep going. I can say his name because his name is Kevin, and it doesn't matter because everyone's name is Kevin. A bartender and Kevin? Oh my God, they're not down even more. God, cheat on them. But I was like, I think it didn't feel like cheating at the time because I was on so many drugs.

And I was like, how could it be cheating because I've met the love of my life, the father of my future children. Did you have a nickname for the guy that you were dating in New York? Yes. Wait, yes. Okay, so he, um, God, this is going to sound really bad. It was funnier before I realized that it was actually real cheating, but like, now that

it was real cheating, I feel okay. So his nickname on our block was, um, sad pit because he kind of looks like Brad Pitt if he had like let himself go like, or got really sad for like a couple of years, which again, I feel really bad saying now that we've established that it was cheating, which I really, I really didn't think because the first thing I did was break up with him. So I'm like, I'm in love. And then me and Elliot are like, writing letters to each other and like sending books to each other with like our annotations in there. Very romantic. And he's like, I'm gonna come to New York to visit you. Because

I already saw his place in SF. And like, he's like, I'm gonna stay for two weeks. Is it okay if I stay with you? And I was like, for sure. In my mind, I'm like, yes, because we're in love. And like, he's like, I have some other stuff to do. So I assume he's gonna have other plans too. I'm like eagerly awaiting his arrival. Finally, the day comes, the love of my life, the one that I broke up with sad pit Kevin for has arrived. And I go downstairs to greet him. And then, have you ever had the feeling where like, I'm like 50 feet away from him and I can see him and the very second I see him again, I just say to myself, oh no, I've made a grave mistake. And I just, I'm like, it's so

different without drugs. And then I like let him in and I'm like, oh no. And it's just like I get like the ick immediately because I just realize it's not it. And then I like let him in and I'm like, Oh no. And it's just like I get like the ick immediately because I just realized it's not it. And then for the next two weeks, he just follows me around everywhere. He didn't actually have anything else to do in New York, as he said, he just was like, I just want to go with you everywhere. And then so we were kind of attached to each other. Then I had to break up with him too after that. I feel like now that I'm retelling this, what I'm saying. You are the villain in all of this.

He should come on the podcast and tell this story about you. Yeah, no, it is amazing. I mean, those are the best villains though. God, I almost felt like a dick. In movies, in media, in any story, the best villain is one who doesn't even realize they're the villain, you know? It's not even that they're evil.

It's just, they just had no way of knowing. It is funny, because this is less of a bad date and more of a bad month for you, Poppy. It was kind of a bad year. New podcast idea, bad months. It was a bad month in which I had a lot of regrets. Yeah, no, but I totally get it. I understand the experience you're talking about with Elliot, because you have a lot of regrets. Yeah, no, but I totally get it. I understand the experience you're talking about

with Elliot because you have a camp boyfriend and then you see them outside the context of camp and it's like that, you don't realize how much heavy lifting the environment with which you met is doing to make this seem like a viable and fun thing. Yeah. Yes. It's the bachelorette after the show ends.

Exactly. This ended like a Greta Gerwig movie in many ways. Yeah, it really did. With Poppy being the villain low key. I guess if they are listening to this, I guess I owe them both an apology and I'm sorry. You know what, hearing from you now, I don't know that I would want to hear from you.

I think maybe just leave it. Maybe just leave it. As your close friend, I would say just leave it. Just leave it. What is the big red flag takeaway that you have from this experience? What did you learn from this experience? A rule that you now have in place to help avoid situations like this in the future. Whatever my takeaway before this particular conversation

is probably different than right now after I'm relaxing back in the studio. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you have a podcast to tell a story and leaving just apologizing and telling everyone that you're learning and growing live time?

Yeah. I guess my takeaway is that I'm the problem. We need to get on to our next story, which is from Lucas Selnick. I mean, Lucas, I don't know. I really hope that all three of you realize you were the villain of your stories that you brought in today by the end of it. But I have a feeling that you're not going to be the villain in this story, but take it away. Lucas is the Kevin. Lucas is Kevin, yeah.

So I go to Burning Man and I meet this awesome, awesome person. Okay, I'm not the villain in my story, but there's a bigger villain. It's like I'm unlikable for being in my story. So first of all, and this is the way- You're Darth Vader, but there is an Emperor Palpatine. I think that's, you nailed it.

So, and this is how you know the story is not gonna have good details in it, but I have to clarify at the outset of the story that I'm Jewish. Okay. So, one time I went on a date with a Holocaust denier. Oh, wow. By accident, I wasn't.

You met online? You met online or like? I wasn't like, take me out of being a bad denier. Oh, wow. By accident, I wasn't. You met online? You met online? I wasn't like, take me out, I'd have been a bad little Jew. Okay, so I go on a first date with this woman in London, who's like a friend of a friend. I have a one night layover in London. I thought she was cute. She, I had like met her in passing somewhere,

maybe like at a party with friends of friends, and, but I had a girlfriend at the time, and so like nothing, whatever, there was no vibe, and then I was in London. I'm like, you know, you weren't, it's not like you were a burning man with this woman, you know, you couldn't have just. I guess, unlike other people on this podcast,

I'm just a little faithful. Does London even count as a place though, or is it its own place? Yeah, London is the burning man of Europe, as everybody says. That's what we've always said. So I'm on this date getting drinks with this woman and sort of out of the blue, she's like, the Holocaust, what'd you think? What?

Oh no. And she brought it up independently. think. She brought it up independently. She brought it up. Three stars. Yeah, I was like, I was like first date bad vibe immediately. And yeah, I was like, I was like, like bad.

She asked like it was a movie review. Like I was like, I liked in the beginning, but it got a little violent. I was like sort of lost momentum near the end there. Yeah. I didn't like 45, but 43 was a vibe. I don't know. So I was like, yeah, like bad. And she's like, here's the thing.

Everyone likes to say it was bad. I was like, first of all, I don't think everyone likes to. I was like, I don't know if that's how everyone spends a Tuesday. She was like, everyone likes to say it was like, first of all, I don't think everyone likes to, I don't know if that's how everyone spends it Tuesday. But she was like, everyone likes to say it was bad. But like, if you or I were in that position back then, like we would have been German soldiers too. You know, to which I replied, I think if I were in that position back then, I might have been a Jew still. I don't know what part of this story we hypothetically switch sides in. Is she British though? No. She's Canadian.

Okay. So in her mind, if she were living during the time of World War II, she would defect from Canada, travel to Germany or wherever she was stationed, would be stationed, to enlist with the Nazis in order to be a guard at a concentration camp? I think she was trying to make some kind of philosophical point, some kind of coconut tree. We are what we are within the context of what was and what it will be. We will all cheat if we go to Burning Man.

Yeah, yeah. We dance with the shadows. You go to Burning Man, you cheat, you go to Germany, you kill, whatever. Right. So then, okay, so then the day was continuing because that's how badly I wanted to get laid. I didn't even, any woman would have left that date

immediately, any guys like strike one, but she gets too much. Horniness knows no bounds. Like if she were like, if she were like, I don't think the Holocaust is that bad and I'm saving myself for marriage, you would have been like, bye bye. I wanted to get laid and also like the comic in me was like,

this, like there's a, like I feel like there's two types of comedians. There's the comedian that like wants to live the bit. And then there's a comedian like, I feel like there's two types of comedians. There's the comedian that, like, wants to live the bit, and then there's a comedian that, like, gets to the doors of living the bit, and then is like, okay, I don't actually need to live it to kind of come up with, like, what would be funny about it if I did. And I'm like an in-between guy. Like, I don't go crazy for the bit, but like, I'll stay at a bar to see what happens. You know?

Yeah. No, I mean, absolutely. I once went to go hook up with a guy and he, we, he got, I got there and he said, we have to hook up in the living room because my husband's home and he really is not into Asian people. He's kind of racist. And I did because of the bit I stayed, man. I fucked on that couch while a racist was in the other room. And now you need to say that sentence because you I fucked on that couch while a racist was in the other room. And now you need to say that sentence because you got fucked on that couch. I understand exactly where you're coming from

as both a man who needs to get laid and also a comedian who needs a new five minutes. So I needed it badly. And so I'm staying. And then, so like some time passes and then I said something in passing, like, since you're probably a Republican.

And she goes, how did you know? I was like, say what you will about liberals, but I've never met one that's like, I believe love is love, science is real. And I would have been a bring us to the story. Where are we? Where are you in your life? Set the scene.

So this is after a breakup. This is after a breakup with this guy who I met at a bar, like a very sweet, me cute, that was a boyfriend. Okay, and really probably, you know, a guy where I would say like the juice is worth the squeeze. Like he's, it didn't work out between us, but we're still friends. He's a great person. He's just like a lovely guy.

So I think that made me more open, more trusting, more willing to want to take the risk on other people, try to be a little bit more forgiving, a little bit more open, a little bit more, how do you say Poppy Lou of me? Yeah. A little bit more of like just, you know, just out here in the ether, just like doing the thing,

you know, than I might be naturally okay fine so we're at my show in Atwater Village which is which I think you both have done it's and you should do it Lucas it's in Club TG and then it turns it's we all know that the arch nemesis of comedians are the DJs and and at our show even though it's an empty room, the DJ comes right at 10 and has to start right at 10 and it's very annoying. So anyway, there's a very cute guy at this place and I see him kind of like looking at me

and normally if somebody's very handsome, my reaction is normally be a cunt. You know what I mean? Like look away, like scary. Do you know what I mean? Like look away, like scary, do you know what I mean? Like that's my reaction. I'm trying to get better about that from the therapist I'm no longer with. And so this time I was able to catch that.

I was able to pause. Are you thinking like, just is it ignoring the person or is it like school yard, you know, like nagging almost? Yeah, like I would say a you know, like nagging almost? Yeah, like I would say a little school yard like nagging. It's like, you think that guy's cute. So let me kick him in the shin. You know what I mean? Or like you, you know, or, but in this case,

I wasn't gonna kick this guy in the shin because I'm grown. And that is technically assault. So what I was gonna do was just ignore. Normally in this situation, I would just ignore. But again, through a lot of work with a therapist that I'm no longer with, I was able to catch the moment. I was able to pause and say, I can make a different decision here,

which is the essence of therapy. It's like to not do the cascading events of like whatever you're gonna do. So fine, I like look over and I was able to meet this guy's eye contact, do you know what I mean? And like, and then, you know, we kind of had a little thing and it was like very cute and then we danced together

a little bit and we kissed and it was like, it was very, yeah, it was like pretty lovely. I can't believe you're not with this therapist anymore. It sounds like they did good work. Wait for the story, Joel. There's a reason it's on the Bad Dates podcast. Okay, and immediately on the side for the story, Joel. There's a reason it's on the Bad Dates podcast. Okay. And immediately on the side of the therapist,

Joel is like, and the winner of this episode of Bad Dates is therapy. Okay. So I see, and we kiss and it's like, and I remember there's a point like when we're kind of there and he's with a friend of his. And I remember he just goes, he goes to me, do you think I'm a good person? Like he just asks this question,

do I seem like a good person to you? And again- I usually wait until the middle of sex to ask people that. I think that's a great time to do it or like when you're crying on their shoulder after. At the point of insertion usually, that's when I drop that bomb.

Or any point when you're sobbing and making full eye contact, boring into their soul. Lucas, I'm sure you have some great notes on when you would ask, am I a good person? Probably after you come inside of the Holocaust denier. You're like, now there's some Jew in you. Now you're a better person. I don't know how. Lucas asked that question in the bathroom mirror moments after coming, not inside of the Holocaust. It was right after I finished reading Mere Christianity.

I realized I was a bad person, but I'm on track to become a good one. Okay, great. So he asked you if you think he's a good person, this man that you have just met and have very little context for. No context, there's no context. And that is a red flag.

But again, given that so many people are just utter trash, I am trying to be more, how do you say, poppy-loo about it? You know what I mean? I'm trying to be more open, open heart, you know, whatever. And so I'm like, this is not the best moment to ask this question. I flag it in my brain, but I say, you know, we're all making mistakes all the time. I forgive this. I forgive this question. And I go, yeah, you seem like a good person, whatever. Fine.

Okay. We kiss. He lives not that far away. I drive him back. He is, I would say, like, handsy in a way that is, you know, it's kind of what Poppy said. I think anything is fine, but like, when somebody is new, you do need,

you can't just like put your hands on someone's throat. You can't just like assume a level of kind of ownership, person as property. You can't do that. You know, you can't, yeah, you can't assume a level. You don't know me. Do you know what I mean? Like you have to be able to take some sort of like

social verbal cues, whatever. Unless you met on a dating app where it's specifically about people who like to be choked. That's a pretty bold move to make on the first date. Was he choking you while you're driving? Or was it just like- That was also a question of Joel's producer. He goes choking you while driving.

And I said, if that's what you want it to be Stuart, we can let it be that right now. It was just too much hands. It was too much hands. It was like we parked outside and then we were kissing to like say goodbye. Very adamant come inside. And I was like, no, no, there's no need.

I don't need to come inside your house. So you deny him, you say you're not coming in. I say, no, thank you. He's kind of like poopy diaper about it in a way that I find very unattractive from men in general as opposed to gracious and sweet. But fine, okay, again, he is very handsome. Later, when we're going to meet up

and we're texting back and forth, he tells me actually I wasn't honest. I am actually in an open relationship, which I was pretty pissed about. I thought that was pretty shitty. I think if you're in an open relationship, that's absolutely fine, like you do you, but I think you should be open and honest

because otherwise it's false pretense in my opinion. No, absolutely, I'm in an open relationship myself and we don't do, I never do shit, I don't even kiss somebody unless they know that I am in an open relationship. And I think that's totally, and it's like, if you say like, I'm in an open relationship and you let somebody else know that that's what's on it. You should be leading with it, honestly.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. As soon as you get to any of the vicinity of sex, you should be leading with it, for sure. And I did do some internet sleuthing with a friend of mine. And so then we look up, we find the woman who we believe to be the quote unquote girlfriend just through like the tagged photos. And I don't go out to the bar with this guy,

and then I do DM this woman. You know, I DM this woman and I say, and not in a shitty way, just like, I was kind of like, hey. Just vigilante justice. And a little like, you've lied to me once, and now are you also lying to this woman? Is it an open relationship? I was like, hey girl, happened to meet your partner or whatever

and I just wanna say, you know, this is, and to be clear, I probably always will side with women, even though a lot of women have fucked me over just generally. And so I think I was just like, hey, I just don't like want you to be in a position. Like, I just want you to know that this person said that they were not in a relationship,

but then they said they were in an open relationship with you, just FYI, and then I ghost. I don't go out to the drinks, so I leave this person hanging. The next morning, I get a message from the girl being like, we are in fact in an open relationship. Thank you so much for looking out, and so appreciated, and thanks girl, some sort of like- Still with her. Some Like, you know, some sort of like.

Still with her. Some sort of, yeah, some sort of like sisterhood fucking. She put on the pussy hat. She put on the pussy hat. Thank you, thank you Joel. Thank you for the eloquence. So I kind of like make it happen. I kind of make it happen like get,

like make a situation where we kind of get together. We go to a friend's birthday party and then we sleep together. where we kind of get together, we go to a friend's birthday party, and then we sleep together. Now I go to a friend's art show, okay, and a different friend, a different, like, you know, the friend is a painter, and like a bad plot in a Woody Allen movie that if you wrote it in a script, I would not believe you,

and I would say it's too coincidental. Both him and the girl are at the same gallery show. They happen to be at the exact same gallery show. I'm on a date with someone else. She happens to recognize me immediately. I see her eyes bug out of her head, because remember I've sent her the message. But I was like, okay, well, let's be the bigger person.

These people are in an open relationship. Go up to them, just be cool. Just essentially say, I'm here on a date. I just wanted to introduce myself, say hello, blah, blah, blah. So they leave before I can say anything. And a week later, a week later when I hit them up and I was like, oh, let's do the thing, the relationship is now closed.

They have now closed the relationship. The sex was that good, yeah. Had to close up shop. They had to close up shop, so they closed the relationship. So now, in essentially a three week to a month long period, okay, he's gone from being single to being in an open relationship to now the relationship is totally closed. The girl has blocked me on Instagram. She's

made him block me on Instagram. But for me, I was like, I don't know if I would have had sex with you that one time if I had known that it was one-time sex, you know? Like the whole thing about this was, I mean, I don't think that's an insane thing to say, Joel, but like, it's like, I, I, I would have wanted to know that it was one time sex, like, Hey, this is going to be like a one time thing going into that one time thing. Because like, if I think I have like season tickets to Disney world, like I'm going to treat my time very differently than if I have a day pass or I might just forget.

There were probably rides that you didn't ride on your first visit because you thought you'd have more rides to do, more visits to go. You would have gone upside down. Bad dates. OK, you guys, this has been so incredible. This has been a lot of wild realizations. I think, like, Kieran, you don't need a new therapist because this episode has been therapy for us all.

Really quickly, Poppy, where can people find you if they want to find out where you are or what you're doing? Um, I guess I'm mostly on Instagram at Poppy Republic. And also, OK, I really want to promote my Vovino account, which is like Goodreads or Letterboxd, but for wine. And so far, I have two followers on it and I hope to grow it. Okay, well, if you're on Vovino. When I first made it, I made it under an alias Olivia, but spelled O-L-I-V-I-Y-A, Olivia Lau. And I think she kind of freed me,

and I wrote some really funky bitchy reviews, but it was awesome. And now I feel brave and it's under my own name. So I'd say that that's probably where a lot of my work is right now, is on the scene. Lucas, my friend, where can people find you? Your work, your dates. Lucaszelnik.com for all my tour dates,

Lucaszelnik on Instagram and TikTok. I'm doing about 60 plus cities this year, so I'll be everywhere. That's dope. No city is too small, unfortunately. Okay, Karen, where can people find you? I would say Instagram too, and on Poppy's. You have a third subscriber to your account after this. Thank you.

I'm shit from Kieran. Shit from Kieran. Amazing. All right. Well, you guys, this has been another episode of Bad Dates. I hope everyone who's listening at home feels better about their own lives, quite honestly. I really do. That's the main goal.

Hope we made you laugh and made you grateful. We'll be back next week with another new episode of Bad Dates. I'm Joel Kim Booster. Bye bye. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited, and engineered by Devin Torrey-Brien. Produced by Anne Harris.

Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana. Executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Music by Cushi and Eben Schleder. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues,

please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3283. That's 984-265-3283. That's all for this week. We will be back for more... Bad Dates. That's all for this week. We will be back for more...