Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Samantha-Pilled (w/ Trae Crowder, Nick Thune, and Nataly Aukar)

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

On a new episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians Trae Crowder, Nick Thune, and Nataly Aukar to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Trae’s not too worried about the work Christmas party but he should be, Nick crushes “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” then discovers that every French beach also has its rocks, and Nataly has big ideas about the Big Apple but just needs a little warm-up. If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips. Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Trae Crowder: Visit traecrowder.com for tickets and special Trash DaddyNick Thune: @NickThune on socials, nickthune.com, new special Born YoungNataly Aukar: @NatYourColor on Insta Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Smart. Blast. Neon. I was in downtown Phoenix recently and I was like, downtown historic Phoenix looks like a Chipotle. Okay, this place is bullshit. I hate it. That's pretty accurate. Bad Dates. Bad Dates. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of Bad Dates the Podcast.

I'm your host, Joel Kim Booster. And here at Bad Dates, it is right in the fucking name. You idiot. You idiot. How could you not know what this podcast is about? It's about bad dates. It's right there. We bring on funny people to talk about bad dates, bad hookups, bad marriages even. Some of these stories have gone on quite long, I have to tell you. But we mine all of our trauma for your enjoyment. I hope you enjoy this episode. But before we dive in with our guests, I do have, as always, a little bit of listener

mail. So here we go. This is from Scout. FAT DATES. I think the pod is fabulous and I desperately want help. Thank you so much for the compliment at the beginning. So I am currently 21 and recently reconnected with a high school boyfriend.

We've only hung out a few times, but nothing intimate. He's taken me out to a movie, nice restaurants, and just playing board games at my apartment, the usual get to know you again stuff. And if we went out that night, we'd always end up back at my place. Most recently, we hung out with a few other friends and it never really bothered me

that he smoked almost every time I see him. He smoked like one to two cigarettes that night. The day after we hung out I was dusting and saw my grandma's urn was open. I thought it was weird and opened it to see what's up in the urn I found at least 10 cigarette butts in my dear grandma's ashes. I was so mad and have been ghosting him ever since. Should I give him a second chance or should I drop him? It always bums me out, man, when we get to the end of one of these emails. And the question is, should I give him a second chance after having had just read that he asked in your grandma's earn? It's so frustrating.

Obviously, do not give him a second chance. That is ghosting. Ghosting is a punishment far too good for him. Like, Hague, Hague, for sure. Get him out of this. It is crazy. He needs to be put in jail. I'm an abolitionist, but I believe in jail time for this man.

But I'm not the only person on the podcast today. Some people might not want to see this man in jail. And that first person up is a very funny comedian who has traveled the world opening for people like Rami Youssef and Hassan Minhaj. She has also been featured in the Netflix is a joke festival, Natalie Ackar. Yeah. I also want to point out that there is a typo and it says you were a part of the Netflix is a Coke festival. And I was like, why wasn't I invited to that one? Seems a lot more fun.

Why wasn't I invited to that one? Yeah. Next up, we have a very good friend of mine, a very, very funny comedian. You will love him. You probably already know him. Please give it up for Nick Thune, everybody. Hello.

Hello. How are you doing, Nick? I'm doing great. It's good to see you. I am so excited to hear your crazy fucking story. Okay. And then joining us is a comedian who has hosted the Railwet and co-hosts the Fancy Fellers and Crazy Storytellers

podcast. Whoa. He's the author of the Liberal Redneck Manifesto and you can watch his comedy special Trash Daddy on YouTube. Trey Crowder, everybody. Hello, Trey. Hello. Hello. That Fancy Stuff podcast is called Putting On Airs, just for the record. Putting On Airs. Okay. I'm just sorry that was not in the notes. Someone's getting fired today, I'll tell you that much. Probably somebody in my head. Netflix is a Coke festival and fancy putting on airs. I can't believe it was missed.

It was ridiculous. So what do we think of Scout's story? Do we think that she should give this man a second chance? Natalie? Well, I don't know if I missed it. I don't know if he wanted one to begin with. Oh, that is actually a very good point. Right?

The implication that she's, she says she's ghosting him right now. So the implication is, is that he has reached out since. Yeah. But we don't know. I mean, I will give it to her. She, first of all, she really knows how to tell a story. I did not know where this was going to go at all as it got there. Yeah. I got to say, I have a...

There's something so European about this story because it's got these people smoking indoors. Mm-hmm. Like, that's the thing that stuck out to me. I was like, this motherfucker is just chain smoking inside of your railroad apartment right now. Like that seems crazy to me. I have never. I'm, yeah.

And I'm a smoker. I have never been allowed in any of my friends to smoke indoors whatsoever, let alone without an ashtray. It seems quite suspect to me, but kudos to him. He got away with it. I mean, 10 cigarettes. Like when was he doing this that she didn't notice? Yeah, it does sound like she had friends over. They played a round of quip lash.

And while they were playing quip lash, he was smoking and ashing into her grandmother's remains that like that. I don't know how that happens. There's no way he's like dumb enough to not realize that they were cremated. We haven't seen the you know, the the vase, the urn, whatever that it's in. You know what I mean? It's filled with ashes. He's like, maybe this is for ashes. Yeah, yeah. Maybe he thought she was a big time smoker. Yeah, right. Wow. Look at this.

Ashtray. Man, she really, look at this ashtray. Man, she really needs to empty this ashtray out. It's very deep too, but hey, to each their own. I'm just trying to get to the benefit of the doubt here. Yeah, I think she should ask him if he knew what it was. You want her to confront him. Yeah. And the thing is, if she had not said that she was 21, I'd say, let it go. Don't take that on. You're not taking that on.

You're a 33 year old woman. You have a car payment. Don't take that on. But because she's 21, she needs to go deeper. She needs to go deeper. She needs to find out what psychosis like she is Clarice. She is an FBI profiler. Now she needs to get in deep with this guy and figure out what the fuck is going on. Like she is Clarice, she is an FBI profiler now. She needs to get in deep with this guy and figure out what the fuck is going on. Yeah, because what if he didn't know and the poor guy is going to be traumatized to hear what he did

and he is going to be the great love of her life and he didn't know what was going on in that bucket? Incredibly optimistic. Incredibly optimistic. Yeah. Incredibly optimistic. He pooped in a thing that looks like a place where you're supposed to poop. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And it looks like an ashtray. It's not like it was like a dead body. It is so crazy that I've been doing this podcast for so long

and have had heard so many stories of men who have pooped in places that they're not supposed to on a first date, that this by comparison, I'm sort of like, yeah, he seems like a pretty good guy. I mean, he aimed for where the ashes is. It's insane. It's insane. It's all insane. But Scout, if you are so inclined, I say show up at his house with a tape recorder. You got a good episode of This American Life on your hands right now. Yes. Bad Dates. On to the meat of the podcast, starting off with Trey Crowder. Trey, give us a little bit of context for For those of us who don't know your life,

you're in a story, are you married? Are you with someone? What's your relationship, dating history style? Like, were you a serial monogamous? What, big slut, what's going on? Little bit of both. I'm glad, yeah, glad we're getting into that context. Cause I thought when this first came up,

I was like, I gotta reach way back, which is what I'm having to do anyway, because I am married, my wife and I have been together for 15 years. We have two middle schoolers. That's crazy. You're aging so well for a white guy dad. A white guy dad? Also in white trash, so we started young. Oh, I see. I'm 38 and I have the oldest, my sons are 12 and 13.

But anyway, so I don't, like I've never been on a dating app or any of that. Like we met before any of the apps existed. I'm a dinosaur in that way. But before her, when I was in college, and like I worked as a server, and I worked in a place called O'Charlie's, which is kind of like Applebee's, but they only have them in the South.

O'Charlie's, yeah, got good tater soup at O'Charlie's. But anyway, I worked there for a few years, and I was kind of a serial monogamous, but in between relationships, I would sleep around quite a bit, kind of whore myself out, do a little bit of, so it was a little bit of both. So, so, so, you gotta sow those seeds.

Yeah, and you know, and also again, this was, this is 2000, whatever, the mid aughts, I mean this is 30 pounds and four Kings of Leon albums ago, so it was a different, it's a different, change draft period and stuff. Where are we at geographically? Cookville, Tennessee, the major metropolitan. It's a town in between, right in the middle of Nashville and Knoxville, Tennessee.

Okay. And the talent was A plus for Trey Crowder. He was pulling left and right. Compared to where I grew up in an even smaller town called Salina that doesn't have any traffic lights in it. And compared to that, it was like, it was like being in Milan. So, you know, no traffic lights, no hot people. No, not really.

It was getting hit. So yeah, that's, and that's where the story comes from is from that era of my life. The main relationship I had in my college years was an on-again off-again very toxic relationship with a hostess at O'Charlie's, right? Oh, classic. A guest we'll call Micaela is what we'll call her. It's not a real name, but she's like, you know, I didn't see a lot of this at the time, but also I was used to every girl I had been with was like real churchy, conservative and everything, but this girl's like, now she's like a full blown, like, I

mean, hardcore maga lunatic, like a, like a proselytizes for it. And back then she was real fake, you know, like fake Southern nice, Southern, nice, like passive aggressive, all that stuff. Like my sister hated her, and most of my friends did too, the whole time. Always a good sign. Always a good sign when everyone close to you in your life is saying. But you couldn't tell me nothing. And so, and then eventually she cheated on me

with another guy that also worked at O'Charlie's. And then she later cheated on that guy with me and We got back together and it became like a whole triangle. Yeah Bravo cameras in Oh Charlie's right now Sounds incredible. It sounds like the next Vanderpump rules Well, it's like there's a Cal College in that town and it's like so it's like a college town So everybody that works at these restaurants is all College kids and that and it's like that everybody town. So everybody that works at these restaurants is all college kids. And it's like that. Everybody's choice.

Yeah. Now, Trey, I have a question for you. What was it about this girl that was so alluring, that had you so hooked that even after she cheated on you, you were like, I gotta have it. I kind of used to have a bit about this. I thought she was input. So I grew up very, very poor, white trash. Right. And I got, when I first got to know her and we started dating and stuff,

I felt like, like Leonardo DiCaprio at the bottom of the steps on the Titanic. You know, I thought she was like rich, like a fan. She was in sorority. I thought she was like a real fancy person. What's funny about that in retrospect, big hats. Yeah Her dad owned like an auto body shop in a suburb of nashville like They were firmly middle class, but i'm you know, just such uh trailer trash that I was Blown away one of the last ones one of the last middle class people. Thank god for her god bless Like when. When I first went to their house for Christmas or whatever, I literally in their kitchen, I was like,

why is all y'all's plates the same? You know, like I didn't know. Like that's weird. I didn't realize that dishes were supposed to match. They had like- That is so funny. Oh my God. They had like glass Tupperware blew my mind.

You know. What a fun fish out of water comedy of just like, this is, this is normal. So matching play that mostly, and just also, you know, I mean, she was good looking and everything too. And I just, I don't know, young, stupid, all that stuff. But look, I'm not like, I do some not cool shit over the course of the story too. Like it's not just her. So there are no villains.

Yeah, we're currently everyone's the villain. So again, we got like a love triangle thing sort of going on at Oh Charlie's. We are in a currently we're in an off period and there was this other server at Oh Charlie's. She also worked there who became like sort of like a friend with benefits, whatever I should say, which is to say like she used to get me weed. I used to get weed from her.

But also sometimes we'd like, you know, like take pills and have sex and stuff. Just good Christian. Hey, no, quid pro quo. That seems like a pretty even trade. Yeah. So call her Vicky, I guess. That was happening. I thought everything was on the- Micaela and Vicky.

Okay, we got Micaela and Vicky. I thought everything was on the- I thought everything with her was like, we're on the same page. Everything's fine. Things are real rocky with Micaela, but we're not together right now in all this. This is like December-ish, sometime in early mid December 2007 or eight or whatever it was. A new hostess started working at O'Charlie's.

Oh, not a third character from O'Charlie's. What's her name? We'll call her Lisa. Yes. Lisa, okay. And Vicky. Lisa? Yes. Okay. We got it. We got it all.

And Vicky. At some get together when she had just started, me and her ended up hooking up, right? So all that just like once, but it had just happened. They had a Christmas party at O'Charlie's every year, right? And sounds like a recipe for disaster knowing your crew. Jesus Christ. So that's the, so the Christmas party is coming up and I'd been there for like three or four years.

I loved, everybody loved the Christmas party. It was a great time. But all my buddies, my roommates, my friends and stuff who are generally aware of all of this, were like, I mentioned the Christmas party and they're like, the O'Charlie's Christmas party? I was like, yeah, they're like, so Michaela is going to be there. Obviously he's like, well, yeah. He's like, is Vicky going to be there too? He's like, yeah. And

that other girl is like, yeah, they're all going to be there. And every one of them was like, okay, say her name. Lisa, Lisa. So every one of them, every single one of them was like, so obviously you're not going, right? Like clearly you're not going to go. And I, you know, the hubris of youth, I was like, why would I not go? It's going to be, it's going to be fine. Yeah, no, you, you are on a multi-cam sitcom right now. You're on Frasier.

Yeah. You're on Frasier and not, and, and yeah, everybody it mrs. Doubtfire, but Trey Crowder. I love it So you go to the Oh Charlie's Christmas party. It's lit. Mm-hmm Well, I can't really even comment on how lit it what well, I guess from other people's perspective It got pretty lit pretty quick because I don't think I was there more than 15 minutes before everything went completely to shit they more than 15 minutes before everything went completely to shit. They, uh, uh, so I guess, and again, keep in mind, this is almost 20 years ago. So the details are fuzzy. I just wrote where everything is to middle school children at this point.

So it's a long time. It's a whole other, literally a past life, but I know that things went badly quickly. And the way that I remember it is that Michaela and Vicky were in the bathroom together at the same time and got into it. And basically like a fight started that got broken up and there's all this cacophony going on near the bathrooms. And Michaela storms out to come find and confront me. And she finds me sitting at the bar talking to,

who else? Lisa, right? Probably trying to get her to go to a Hinder concert with me or something. Something real smooth. And Michaela runs up and says something to the effect of, is this one of your little whores? and does the classic move of throwing a drink in my face, you know, that old chestnut. So I had a drink thrown in my face. I was taken aback by that to say the least. And then she starts screaming at Lisa who doesn't want anything to do with this. I mean, that she was really feel bad for her because she was like, yeah, Lisa does not need to take any of this on. New to the whole thing, did not know what she was getting into. It was not her fault.

She's like crying, runs off, whatever. I go and grab my buddy who worked there who I had ridden with. And again, this is like 15 minutes in and I was like, we got to get the fuck out of here right now. And credit to him. He probably saw it coming, I guess, but he was immediately like, you know, okay, let's go. And so we left. I don't think I ever went back to O'Charlie's again. Like I left that job finally after three or four years. That was so bad that I had to quit that job.

And I went to another restaurant. Just wreckage in your wake. Yeah, and I went to another restaurant. Just wreckage in your wake. Yeah. And I went to another, went to another restaurant in Cookville, locally owned place called Crawl Daddy's. Uh, and within three months I was sleeping with the bartender there. Uh, but, but, uh, me and that girl have been married for 15 years and they have two kids now.

Oh, okay! I love it! You just had to go across the street. I was about to start calling her names until I knew your wife. I gotta say, um... Yeah, very poor judgment on her part, but she didn't know all that other stuff. There was a love triangle with me and MacKellen, that other dude that worked there. At some other get-together at O'Charlie's, I have a vivid memory with me and MacKellen, that other dude that worked there. At some other get together at O'Charlie's, I have a vivid memory of me and that guy, me and the guy doing a karaoke duet of that song.

Wow. Fuck It by A-Mon, does anybody remember that song? It was a- No, but it sounds work appropriate. One Hit Wonder at the time, A-Mon, it was like, fuck what I said, it don't mean shit now. Fuck all the presents, might as well throw them out. Fuck all those kisses, it didn't mean Jack.

Fuck you, you hoe, I don't want you back. That's the chorus. Both of you, I gotta say, both of you, not coming off great in this scenario, especially with the duet. I know. What was your best, when you were, you know, in your young in your young life

and picturing going to this Christmas party where you knew these three women would be there, what was your ideal scenario that you concocted in your head? I know it sounds ridiculous, but again, I'm like 22 or something. I don't, I just, the way I remember thinking about it was just that this is gonna be fine. Like it's going to be fun.

Like I didn't have even a plan. It wasn't like, Oh, I'll, you know, whatever else successfully wrangle all three of them tonight or nothing. It wasn't like that. It wasn't like that. It was just like, Oh, I can, I mean I can, you know, I can juggle this. It'll be fine. I can, yeah. I can handle it. You've seen it happen on how I met your mother. You're convinced that can happen to you too. I love how men are just never thinking.

No. It's true. It's true. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's a good question. In both the best and the worst scenarios, man. Yeah. Just go. Yeah.

And like, if this was a woman that had the situation, you bet your ass you would have calculated every single moment. Like, okay, he's going to be there. He's going to be standing down. This other guy is going to be sitting down. I'm going to walk in and I have depending on what she wants. She'll have decoys. She'll have plants.

She'll know all the escape routes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody says not to, you know, they say don't eat shit where you eat or eat where you eat or whatever. Yeah. Like you don't mess around with people at work.

Right. And I was going to try to act like I had learned that. But again, I just went over, I met my wife at the very next restaurant. Yeah. But then it's just been her ever since. Thank you Trey Crowder. Nick Thune, what have you got for the class today? Because I know you have, give us the same context that Trey did, but I know you have a lot of stories.

You have a lot of stories. You have a lot of stories. I mean, I've been married, I've been divorced, I've had a lot of relationships. And but I was brought up Christian and didn't get to go to like sex ed or like wasn't supposed to learn about that kind of stuff because I was supposed to wait till I was married but then I had sex at a young age.

I had a threesome when I was 17 on a golf course on a family vacation. Whoa! Where I caught chlamydia. That is some white lotus shit right there, if I've ever heard it. I also thought I might have had AIDS, to the point to where I went and quit a job saying

I couldn't work there anymore because I had AIDS, but I just hadn't gotten the test back. Oh my God. I just didn't want the job anymore. It was at a Subaru dealership. And yeah. Good way to get ahead of it. The great part about that story is that that night at dinner at my family's house, my dad gets a call.

It's my dad's one that got me the job at this dealership because he worked in the car business. And the phone call basically went like, hello. Oh, hey, Dave, yeah. Uh-huh. OK. Hung up, sits down at the kitchen table. Hey, Nick, did you tell Dave Thompson that you have AIDS? That was the dinner conversation. And I was like, yeah,, yeah, I don't know yet,

that we haven't gotten the test back. So it could be a truth, who knows. This is, wow, and we've come so far. My story, I was 24 and I was solo traveling in Europe, and I made it down to Nice, France. And I mean, I was like staying in hostels with a sleeping bag and a backpack. And like, I had like three changes of clothes

and a year rail pass. And like, I ended up meeting this Australian guy and I'm walking down the street with him. It's kind of an off, it's not a busy street. And this car honks as it drives by us. It was like a Mini Cooper or something. And then it pulls off ahead of us. And it's these a busy street. And this car honks as it drives by us. It was like a Mini Cooper or something. And then it pulls off ahead of us and it's these two French girls. And we walk up to the car and they were like, hey, what's going on?

And they just got disappointed immediately. They thought that we were Italian. We were like two guys with our shirts off walking down the street. And they thought we were like two Italian guys. And it turns out an American and Australian. The Australian didn't even get any play? The Australian, there was not even a little bit of grace for the Australian. I mean, I don't think it's, I think an Italian guy is a lot more attractive than both those put together, to be honest, right? I mean, especially to these French girls. And I was just learning how much Americans were actually hated.

I had no idea. I'd never been to Europe. And and this was like a George Bush era. And like everyone's reading Michael Moore books. And I'm walking around like, why does nobody like me? I didn't get it. And and these girls seemed to like they were like, hey, meet us at this bar tonight. You know, like they kind of, they still kind of were like, oh, you guys are cute, I guess, or whatever.

So meet us at this bar. So me and my new friend that I met that day show up for a double date, I thought with these French girls. And turns out they just both really liked him. And we're at a table at this bar. And they, I'm just like not, they don't like me. Like it's a, like I'm like, I'm feeling like very bummed, you know, like hurt or whatever. That is a bummer.

That is a bummer. How did you know? What was, what were the indicators? What were the indicators that they weren't into you? If you, if you can go back and relive that trauma for a second. I could just say like anytime I was talking, it was like, shut up. Honestly, the American guy's talking? Yeah, no thank you.

Actually hatred. Even laughing at me when I said shit and like, you know, and then at one point, an employee kind of circles the table and he's putting these forms on the table and turns out downstairs is a rocker-rokey scenario where it's not karaoke, it's a full band on stage, and then if they know the song that you want to sing, they'll play it and you can sing it. So- And you were feeling so good about yourself in this moment that you did that.

Well, I saw that. I was like, okay, well, this is something. I was in a cover band in Seattle. Like I was actually already performing and was like- Very musical. Loved being on stage. Yeah. So I wrote down two songs. They. So I wrote down two songs. They were like, write down two songs.

So I wrote down Hero by Enrique Iglesias, which was kind of like my funny karaoke song. Can't miss, bro. Never. It really can't. I mean, you got to see it. Yeah. And then I put Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison, which is like kind of my like, like cool song and yeah

The band knew every rose has its thorn so next thing I know we're downstairs and I am Basically singing a song that I've already sung a hundred times with the band and I just and you're slaying Nailed it. I mean knocked it out of the house to our bulls These girls were now just like holy shit shit. Like this is a new guy. Right. But you remember, but you remember, Nick. Oh, no. They treated you. No, no, never. Oh, this is he's achieved it now.

It's like, no, no, no, no. I'm not. He's accomplished it. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, we're all good. Yeah. How were they to know you were worth anything at that point? You know? No, I had to prove it, you know? And so I don't know if you've been to southern France, but in this part, Nice, they're kind

of famous for their beaches because they're not sand. They're like boulders. They're like the size of baseball's rocks on a beach. And they're like a little flatter and more oval, but like that's what they are. It's not like a sand beach. And so anyway, me and this girl, French girl are like totally now hitting it off.

And I asked her if she wants to go on a walk under the beach. I'm just like take, I'm really using this trip as like, I'm gonna change my life. You know, like I'm gonna come out of this thing, right? So we get down to the beach. This is the turning point. This is like the early turning point in Act One of a movie.

Like you are, you're about, something amazing is about to happen to you. Yeah, and I mean, I, we get down on the beach and we start making out and now, you know, she's on top of me. It's like, it's's probably midnight or something. And she's on top of me and it's going really great. This is the first European woman I've ever been with.

She's older than me. This is all, I'm feeling very insecure about my sexual prowess at this point. This is Choco Lot. I love it. Yeah, this is great. It's amazing. So I think, all right, Nick, do something that's going to show her that you know what you're doing here. And like really take control. So I, a move that I think is going to be a really sexy kind of like flip over, like, and now I'm in charge sort of a move, knock the wind out of her on these rocks. Like, you know, like I like roll her over.

And it was so fast and like that, that it like it hurt her. And it was like, get off me. I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I was trying and she's like, you know, like she can't breathe. She can't speak English very well either. Oh, my God. And then and then and then it was like, let's go find my friend sort of a situation.

And no one has cell phones like no one like we don't have. Yeah, I don't have. This is 2004. So like and I'm in Europe and like these, you know, so we're just like now walking around the city looking for a friend. And it's like, you know, when you're stuck with somebody that it's over, but you're like, I can't let her be alone. Also even if she were, something were to happen, like what am I going to do?

I'm a pussy. But anyway, it just ended up where we got back to our friend and then they were gone. And the Australian was just like, I just remember we got back to the hostel and we were in our sleeping bags like we because we had like one of those like four bunk bedrooms, you know? Yeah. And, and he was like, what were you thinking? And I was like, I honestly thought I was taking it to the next level. I mean, I just thought this is what if this is what a French woman wants that she doesn't want some American just to lie there and be like here here, you know. Yeah.

This was an Italian guy. This was an Italian guy I would do. Need to do some Italian stuff, yeah. You were emulating an Italian woman. That is so horrifying, and I just know that she still to this day talks about the American guy who assaulted her on the beach. Like, it's like.

Let's just say this though. Okay, so I a week later got my nipple pierced in Barcelona. Okay. I mean, it was really- As punishment. I was using this sexual, yeah, I was punishing myself. I got my nipple pierced and then a week after that, met a girl that I ended up dating for two years who was Swedish. So I was like really in this kind of like, you know, moment and the French girl really kind of, I learned a lot from her, I think, you know. Yeah. I'm sure she's, she's, she has some permanent scars on her too. And she'll never forget you. At least deep bruising. Yeah, deep bruising for sure. Bad dates. Bad dates.

Last but certainly not least, Natalie Acar, how is your dating life going right now? Like give us the context. Are you partnered up? Are you looking? Are you happy being alone and independent lady? I wish I'm engaged. I wish I could say I was a happy independent lady. Just because I think

it's cooler to say that. Yeah, it's more fun to dance to a Beyonce song when you're a single independent lady. Yeah, yeah. It really does take something out of it. It's more fun to dance to a Beyonce song when you're a single independent lady. You know? It really does take something out of it. We would have all cheered too. Yeah, we would have cheered. We would have cheered. How long have you been together with your fiance?

So we've been together three years. Amazing, same. I'm also engaged and been together for three years. Yeah, you're engaged. You've been together for three years. Congratulations on that. Where does your story take place in the history of your dating life? It takes place pretty early on. It takes place almost, oh, almost 10 years ago. Almost 10 years ago. Which puts you at roughly 14. Is this a story that I'm going to want to hear?

Are we going to legally be allowed to air this story? Thank you for that. That made me feel good. No, I was 21. 21. Okay. I was 21 years old. I was brand new to New York.

It was maybe my first month and I had come from, I had come from Lebanon, from Beirut, Lebanon. So it's like, wow, that's a vibe shift. Vibe shift for sure. I am 21, first time living without my parents, um, in New York, and the possibilities are endless. No one knows me. I don't know anybody.

I could do whatever I want. So I was like, I have to have a one night stand. Like I have to have a one night stand. Everybody in America has a one night stand. So I have, I have to have a one night stand. Like I have to have a one night stand. Everybody in America has a one night stand. So I have to. You were Samantha Pilled. I love it. Yes.

You're in New York. You got to have a one night stand. It's a part of it. You got it. And the thing is, I didn't even know I was thinking it until I was doing it. Then when I was doing it, I was like, yes, I did it. But I was... You know what? On the. But I, yeah, I was. I was like, I did it. That was, you know what?

On the range of ways you can react during sex, yes, I did it is actually kind of like best case scenario in a lot of times, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause we hear a lot of stories on this podcast where people are having sex and the response during it is, oh man, you know, and that's never, that's never what you want.

I don't know if that makes sense, but I was kind of doing both. Oh. It was like, yes, and I was like, well. So how did you meet this guy? So I went to a party with a bunch of my Lebanese girlfriends and it was this like huge, it was a big party at like what looked like

with someone's apartment, but it's one of these really big apartments and those parties that are so big that you don't even know if somebody actually lives there Right, right. I've seen those on real housewives before yeah Yeah, I had that vibe in the Lower East Side and everybody was very hot. Everybody was very hot and very fancy and Went to the rooftop and I saw this there was a group of like guys. And to kind of like call back to Nick's story, I noticed a half French, half Italian guy. He was the best of both worlds. And he kept looking at me, I kept looking at him and it just, you know, the looks collided. When the looks collide, you're like, this is gonna, we're gonna talk.

And we started talking and we were really vibing. And he takes my number. Nothing happens the same night we hang out the second night with his French, with this French accent, you know? And although it shouldn't be that impressive to me because French is my first language, so it's not like. Yeah, gosh. Again, bar is on the ground.

But... Were you guys speaking French or English? I can't remember, I think we were speaking French. But he was speaking French correctly. I was speaking French like a Lebanese person who was colonized by the French, so she speaks French. You know what I mean? So his French was just so beautiful and sophisticated.

He was talking politics, we're talking future, we're talking family, I'm like, he's in love with me, he wants to marry me, so obviously I'm gonna go back to his place. And I go back to his place and no time is wasted, he's like taking my clothes off and then there's no foreplay at all. Oh no, that's the best part. You would think. By no foreplay, all. Oh, no, that's the best part.

You would think by no foreplay, are we really talking like no sucking, no mouth stuff, no hand stuff digitally? There was nothing happening. Nah, think. Wow. That's that kind of sex is only okay. If you were in your late forties and you have children that are almost home from school and you got to get it done on top of the laundry machine in the laundry room immediately and there's just no time.

That is the only time that kind of sex is okay. What if it's like some super hot scenario though where it's just like, let's do it. You know what I mean? There's other ways, but it's not common. But it's just not that. I'm still going to need some, I'm still going to need some mouth stuff. I'm still going to need some finger stuff. I'm still going to need something.

Anything, especially when you're, when you're with a girl, like for us, it's not easy. It hurts if nothing happened before, you know, especially. Of course. I remember what a virgin she's at like at this point, you know, not to be gross, but. Yeah. And I was basically a virgin because I had a not sex in two years since my last relationship. But you know, when you're a girl, you just want, you just, you just keep, it's incredible how willing and able we are to lie to ourselves. You know, I was always amazed by that. Actually, after a year of hosting this podcast, I am amazed by that.

It is. And I was still like, in the moment I was like, no, I probably don't get it. There's something I don't understand here that he understands. Yeah, he's French. He clearly knows how all this works. It must be me. Come on. It's supposed to feel bad. It's supposed to feel bad. It's French sex. His name is Angelo. Come on. He knows sex stuff. He knows. I mean, looking back now he's also like 22, 23, which to me was like, Oh my God, older guys. So old. Oh my

God. I want to kill you, but keep going. So you have sex with him. It's bad. Kill 21 year old. It's horrible. And then, and then we were like, let's just stop. Like, this is just awful. And he was blaming, he was blaming the condom. And I was like, I don't know if he's trying to get me to get him to take it off. It's just not going to happen. It's not going to do. I love that old trick. Yeah. He's like, I speak as a condom. I was like, all right, can we just like stop and we stop. But then he didn't want to, he didn't want me to leave. He wanted to hold me. Oof. Hold me.

And again, I don't know how anything's supposed to go. I have no confidence. I have no strength. I have nothing. So I just lay there with him because he wants me to, and he hugs me through the night with his sticky body against my back. Like...

This is... Ugh. But still, in my mind, I'm going, I'm fucking doing it. I'm Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. No. I'm killing it. I can't wait to call the girls back home tomorrow and let them know. No.

I'm the leader now. Look out for the ring. I don't have a ring on yet, but it's coming. And the worst part, and so I wake up at like 6 a.m. I'm like, I can't do this anymore. I need to get out of here. I'm so uncomfortable. I want to go home. This is horrible. I feel so gross. So I get up and I start getting dressed. And then I noticed that he had a friend who was staying with him, was visiting him from Italy and he was sleeping on his couch and his couch

was facing the door. And I'm, I'm this Lebanese girl who's never done this before. I'm ridden in shame. You know, I don't't wanna have eye contact with this Italian friend. So it took me maybe 20 minutes to get myself to walk out that door and I opened the door. I take a deep breath. I'm like, he's fine, it's 6 a.m. The guy's probably asleep. I opened the door and the guy is fully sitting there

with his hands behind his head waiting for me. Like doctor fucking evil. That is crazy. Yeah. And he was like, hello. And I was like, hi. And he was like, goodbye. I was like, bye. And I walked out the door and I walked out of the building. And as I walk

out in the building, I'm in Times Square. I'm in Times Square. You did the walk of shame by an Elmo. A bootleg Elmo. You were doing the walk of shame by a bootleg Elmo. Yeah. Outside the M&M's store. That is low.m. Yeah. That is low, that is low. Again, I'm like, oh my God, I fucking did it. I'm the baddest bitch in this fucking town right now. Not only did I have the one I stand.

It does feel, when you're that age, there is something, and this is also comedian brain too, but when something that bad happens, you're sort of like, yes. You know? It is like, I finally have something to talk about I finally have a story to tell on a podcast and 10 years, you know It is exciting the Italian guy that's not your fiance is it no my god

It would have been an incredible twist ending I wish it had It would have been an incredible twist ending I wish it had Guys this has been so much fun. I have had such a blast chatting with you and Unearthing all of this trauma Trey Crowder. Yeah, I hear you might be going on tour soon. You're currently on tour Yeah, first of all, I'm used to this but it's hilarious like how much trashier my story was in the other two France all this European shit causing catfights at a fucking rural Tennessee chain restaurant. We have a very broad audience. Yeah, but anyway, you fit right in. Yes, thank you. I'm all perpetually on tour all the time.

I'm just Trey Crowder.com, T-R-A-E Crowder.com for all my tickets. There's also a link to the special trash daddy on there. So, yeah, thanks for having me. This is fun. Out. All right, Nick Thune. Same question. What you doing? Where you at? Where can people find you? Just Nick Thune. I am on.

I got the dot com. I've got the Instagram. I'm on tour. I've got a new special on YouTube called Born Young. Embarrassment of riches, incredible. Natalie Acar, how can the people find you? What are you doing these days? They can find me on Instagram, at Nat Your Color. And I am on tour. I'm headed to Europe and then I have a few dates

coming up in the South later at the end of the summer. Everything is in my social media. Amazing! Check it out. All very very funny people. Thank you so much for listening. If you have a story, a bad date you'd like to get off your chest or maybe even just some advice about how to make the date not so bad, please email us at baddatespod.gmail.com. That's baddatespod.gmail.com. Leave us a rating and review wherever you're listening to this podcast. It helps people find the podcast. And God, don't you want their lives as enriched as yours is right now. Goodbye.

Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited, and engineered by Devon Torrey-Brien. Produced by Anne Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana. Executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Baitman.

Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Music by Cushi and Eben Schleder. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3283. That's 984-265-3283. That's all for this week. We will be back for more... Bad Dates!