Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Sarah Paulson Corner (w/ Ali Kolbert, Brooks Wheelan, and Jared Goldstein)

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

On a new episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians Ali Kolbert, Brooks Wheelan, and Jared Goldstein to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Ali is well aware that this is unhinged behavior, but she just had to be sure, Brooks can overlook the scabies, but can the scabies overlook Brooks, and Jared is at the wrong party looking for the wrong kind of good time.If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Ali Kolbert: @alikolbert on socials, AliKolbert.com for tour datesBrooks Wheelan: New special Alive In Alaska on YouTubeJared Goldstein: @heyjaredhey on socials, Sorry, What? podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes.

Smart, Blast, Nia. Men and women, which one's North Korea, which one's Russia? That's hard. I would probably say that Russia's men because it's sort of this like

Ego big dick thing. Whereas North Korea is sort of just like a quiet evil Hello hello hello and welcome to another episode of bad Dates. I am Joel Kim Booster, your host as always. You don't know this, but I haven't recorded an episode of this podcast in a few weeks now because I've been working on something else and I'm back finally. You guys won't know that at all, but you might notice an emotional spiritual change in me. But other than that, it's all the same. It's all the same. The podcast is the same.

It's still a podcast about bad dates. Your bad dates and my funny friend, bad dates and some new friends. Bad dates. You know, we have we have a good mix on the pod today. I'm excited about it. But before we get to them, I want to read some listener mail. We always start with a story and or piece of advice. This is there's a little bit of both to this and let's just get into it.

This is from Eleanor. Bad dates. Hi, bad dates. I was on a first date with a woman who all called a Taya. Love that. That is like such a classic lesbian name, too. I find we met for brunch with a few of her friends. I was excited about her and didn't mind the group thing, I knew that was the situation. Everyone was nice enough and I was having a good time, but definitely picked up some vibes between Taya and her friend LB.

I was seated next to Taya and LB, and LB was on her other side. There was just enough leaning on each other and lingering glances. I don't know why it bothered me so much, but they made a super big deal about tasting each other's food. They were like feeding each other and making what I found to be over the top moaning noises. Sure it was a good place, but it felt like a red flag to me or maybe just yellow? Anyway, rest of the brunch was uneventful, fun even, and Tae and I got to break off and spend the rest of the afternoon together. Long story short, we hook up and I discovered a Lizbeth tattoo right below Taya's left hip bone. It's pretty cute, but I'm assuming LB is Lizbeth and the vibes now

start to make sense. I'm going to see where things go with Taya and try not to get in my head about LB, like going to assume she was talking about me when she called out L in bed. I don't want to fuck this up. What are the other red flags I should look out for? Well, Eleanor, I gotta tell you, this is like some gothic lesbian drama that you have just involved yourself in. And I would run for the hills quite frankly, because the last thing you wanna involve yourself in is the psychosexual relationship

that this woman has with LB, because that's what it is. I don't know what the past is, if they officially dated, if they're just friends who are in love but refuse to accept it. What has happened, but if they have not fucked, they are supplicating fucking by feeding each other at brunch and moaning. That's what's going on there. And it's going on in front of your eyes. They have so little respect for you. You were a pawn in their game. And get out of it. Yeah, I think that's not a yellow flag. I think that's a big old red flag. And again, I tell you, like, do you want to be the third lesbian in Carol? Do you want to be Sarah Paulson? I mean, like, sure, Sarah Paulson is pretty great.

But I wouldn't want to be Sarah Paulson in Carol. And that's who you're sort of you're painting yourself into the Sarah Paulson corner. And I don't recommend that for you. But I'm not the only one who's here to give advice. I don't know if we have a lesbian on the panel today, but we have, you know, some people who are adjacent, hopefully to your experience, and you might be able to give some better advice than I am. We're going to start with the person that I think I've known the longest on the chat today. You've known him from SNL, things of that nature. He's a comedian, actor, writer. I've known him

so long. I don't even care to get his credits right. I think you should leave SNL. And he has an upcoming special, Alive in Alaska. It's Brooks Whelan, everybody. Hi, Brooks. Joel, were you at the Detective Pikachu night? Yes. Was that you? Yes.

Okay, that's the last time we really hung out. Me and Nicole Byer had this terrible idea where we would get drunk at a movie every week. It lasted one time. We both blacked out at Detective Pikachu. You were drinking. Rita Ora vehicle. Rita Ora vehicle, Detective Pikachu.

I'm gonna go in order of the person that I know now, the second longest, which is my good friend. He's a comedian and actor from shows like SNL and Modern Family. Oh, wait, Jared, you were in SNL? I was in a sketch when I was a kid, but I guess that counts. Oh! That's probably asL? I was in a sketch when I was a kid, but I guess that counts. Oh!

That's probably as much as I was in it. That counts. You were in pretty equal amounts of Saturday Night Live. Yeah. It's Jared Goldstein, everybody. Welcome. Hello. My newest friend on the screen in front of me right now. Oh, my God, I'm getting news right now in my ear.

She is a lesbian. Oh my God. Oh, she's a comedian and a writer who has appeared on The Tonight Show. I'm so glad that I chose this letter and that we have her here to weigh in. The expert, Ali Colbert, everybody. Hi, thank you for having me. It's funny, like...

We need your opinion, your POV on the situation. Yeah, I actually read that as girls that do that and then say they're not gay is so straight to me. Straight girls are always pushing the boundaries of what would be a normal platonic relationship. They're like, we cuddle and we sleep like that together. We just like hook up. But it's like we're friends and our boyfriends are friends. And I'm just like, that is how I experienced straight women all the time. Mm hmm. But wait, I think they're both.

Having a tattoo of your friend's name on your like lower back and then. Well, we don't know for sure if LB, if Lizbeth is a lesbian or a straight girl. We know for sure that Taya and the writer are. But we don't know if Lizbeth is a lesbian or a straight girl. We know for sure that Taya and the writer are, but we don't know if Lizbeth is. I assume that Lizbeth was also a lesbian, but maybe I was wrong. I mean, yeah, I'm homo-normative, so I did assume that she was a lesbian.

I mean, it just sounds kind of straight to me, but I guess there's a lot of- Maybe LB stands for lesbian. Yeah, it could be. Bad dates. Bad dates. Bad dates. Ali, we're gonna start with you and your date. I actually don't know the details of her story,

so it might be, I don't know the gender of the person that her bad date story is about, but we're about to find out and I can't wait. So Ali, take it away. So of course my bad date story is with a man. I went to NYU, my friends were dating Jewish guys from Long Island. And I was really like only looking for like a hot guy at first. I was just like, I don't really care what he believes in or where he's from or what he does. I just want him to be hot. And that was blowing up in my face.

Honestly, I was like, okay, let me find a, this is such a weird Freudian story, but I was like, let me find a guy like my dad. I was like, I just wanna meet a six foot tall Jewish guy who has a job in finance. That he is the only guy that like I know, that like I respect. I guess I could.

You should date my dad. The description you just gave, I could smell the Sperrys. You know that Sperry smell? Yeah, it's like that like wet rubber. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could just, the description, that's what the sense memory brought up.

So I was 17 and I matched with this guy on an app. I mean, maybe it was an app. I think like Hinge was like just invented and I think Hinge, like when we started using it, maybe I'm misremembering this, but like, wasn't it like the wasn't the conceit like you have mutual friends on? Yes, yes, yes. It's like people in your network. Yeah. So I matched with this guy and he was this is is so Freudian so you're gonna have to forgive it, but he was like from my dad's hometown

and I was like, okay, like he's probably the one. And I remember he was like, where should we go on our first date? And I purposefully chose, full on fantasy addiction at this point in time, I purposefully chose Caliente Cab Company because it's where my mom and my dad had their first date. And I was like, oh my God.

This is some crazy fucking 17 year old behavior. Did you wear a wedding dress to the date? I'm sorry. I just, and of course this is psychotic, but, and I just want to give you another lens to read this through. And that lens is just sheer desperation. This is the final.

I'm hanging on to my heterosexuality by a fucking thread. And if this doesn't work, I'm going to have to be a dyke. And there's really no no worse fate imaginable for me at that point. I went to dinner with this guy. He was totally fine. I obviously felt nothing inside. And then but I was like, I keep going. And I was like, go on a few more dates with him. I went on a few this guy, he was totally fine. I obviously felt nothing inside. And then, but I was like, eh, keep going. And I was like, go on a few more dates with him. I went on a few more dates with him.

And I got to the point where I was like, I'm gonna need to have sex with this guy in order to see how I feel about this. But really probably in order to keep him around anymore. We just passed the point where I thought he would still like keep seeing me if I didn't sleep with him. Which kind of experience women have all the time. Yes. And I remember I was in my dorm room.

I was living in the dorms at the time and he texted me at like, I don't know, like 10 o'clock asking what I was doing. And I was like, I think I'm going to go over. Like I was in my bed, like, you know, like 10 o'clock, asking what I was doing, and I was like, I think I'm gonna go over. Like I was in my bed, like, you know, pajamas on, teeth brushed, makeup off, I think I had like a retainer in, and I was like, I'm gonna get out of bed, I'm gonna like get totally ready, pretend I was just coming from like a bar or something,

and go to his apartment, and I'm just gonna do it, like we just need to sleep together. And I go to his apartment and of course, like, you know, men's apartments, especially at this point in time, are just horrifying. There's just the bathroom. It's like no one has lived there. There's just like, there's no, you know,

there's no soap in the bath, whatever, it's disgusting. It's bad, one towel, a million Gatorade bottles. Empty Gatorade bottles, empty shampoo bottles in the shower. You cannot find a paper towel anywhere. What is going on? I go into his room, we're hooking up, and I'm like, okay, it's happening, we're gonna have sex.

I remember he takes out his dick, he does enter me, and I realize in that moment that I don't wanna have sex with him. And I'm like, hey. It's still often in that moment. You know, I was just like, you know, I actually, I'm like, and I'm thinking to myself, and I think these are mental gymnastics

that women have to do a lot. I'm like, do I suffer through, not to, I don't know about men because I'm only speaking of my own experience, but like, do I suffer through, not to, I don't know about men, because I'm only speaking from my experience, but do I wanna suffer through this 15 minutes of awful sex, or do I wanna just stomach the awkward 90 seconds of me being like, hey, I actually don't wanna do this.

Sorry I came over, and leave. And I'm like, I'm gonna do it, I am sure he's gonna be really fucking confused. And I was like, I'm gonna do it. I am sure he's gonna be really fucking confused. And I was like, you know what? I actually like really don't wanna be here right now. And I know I came over and I thought that was what I wanted but now that I'm here, I don't want the look on this man's face.

He literally put his dick in me and I was like, I have to leave. That honestly, Ali, that's really kind of like, I don't wanna give you the like fucking purple heart or anything, but that's really kind of like, I don't want to give you the like fucking purple heart or anything, but that's really brave, I think to do, especially at like what you were, you said you were like 17. Yeah. Like to have the wherewithal to know that I'm 36 years old, and I cannot tell you how many

people I have gone all the way to the point of ejaculation with that I truly do not want to be having sex with because I don't want to have that conversation. Isn't that insane? Yes, no it is insane. It is insane. Yeah, and I was like, okay, I wanna, and he was like, you're kidding me. He was like, you're for real?

And I was like, he was like, he thought I was joking. And I was like, no, I just like, I really don't wanna leave. I really wanna leave. What a great bit that would be by the way. First time and I was like, no, I just like I really don't want to leave. I want a great bit. That would be by the way. First time having sex, being like, I think we I don't think we do this. Hilarious. And I got up and I left and he was really confused. He was so that that guy is Joel.

He's on the next episode, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll hear. We'll hear his side of this. And I went this girl came over. I'm so fucking. He different point of view of this. He's like, I went, this girl came over. I'm so fucking confused. He sent me as I was leaving, he drew a graph like of an arrow going down and sent it to me and was like, this is how my night went.

Oh. And I still like, I do think that is a, you know, I'll call it a terrible date, but I also think it's a bit of a badge of honor. Years later though, my friend started dating this guy and she was really excited to introduce me to him. And she told me his name and it was my guy. And I was like, oh my God, like I have to tell you,

you know, I know that guy. And I was like, I went on a few dates with him. I didn't tell her the whole story. And then she said she went back to him and said, you know, Ali Culvert's my friend and his face went white. with him, but I didn't tell her the whole story. And then she said she went back to him and said, Ali Colbert's my friend and his face went white. And he was like, you have to ask her what happened. And then he broke up with her.

And I'm sure he was like, I'm sure this experience haunts him that at some point in his 20s, he took his dick out and I felt it and was like, I have to leave your room. Yeah, I guess I feeling from my perspective, like that must have been he must have. You may have given him dick like problems, like relationship like to his penis problems for years. Because you what you should have said is I don't want to do this because I am a lesbian

in that moment. That that is I think. That's true. But I just I don't even know that. I'm kidding. That's not true. No, but you're. You don't owe him anything. You don't owe him anything. Bad Dates. Bad Dates. Now we have to move on into our next story, which is coming from Brooks Whelan. Brooks,

now I know I've known a couple of your, the ladies in your life. And they've all been nice and seemingly normal. So I'm wondering where in your life are we for your bad day? Well, I was 25 right after I got out of a seven year relationship. Met this babe in Echo Park. She had at a liquor store, she had cool pants on and a shaved head. And that was the opposite of my old girlfriend from Iowa,

which is where I'm from. And I was like, yo, sick pants. And then we made out like in the parking lot, like right away. It was very cool. Yeah I was like this chick's crazy. She's so cool turns out she had a shaved head because she had had lice before Yeah, it was like yeah of all the reasons probably the worst Well, do you have to shave your head for lice? Yeah. Yeah, you gotta get rid of that

I thought you 1000% do not have to shave. 100% you don't. She told me she did, guys. That wouldn't be news. She had. That's crazy. What year was this? What year was this that the technology was not there?

Look, it was just a buzz cut. It was sick. She had super long, weird dreads before that. So yeah, there's a good reason to shave her head. She was getting rid of her dreads. Thank God for the lice. Yeah. You're not painting in a particularly clean picture

of this girl by the way, but dreads and the lice together? She was so cool. She didn't have, anyway. And just the opposite of the girl I had been dating forever. So this girl's really rad. She was like an heiress to this company. Like she was a trust-a-farian. I found out what that means.

Like a trust fund hippie kid. Which these people are. Wait, can you say it and we'll bleep it? What the company is? No. Amazon. No, no, no, no. I'll tell you off here.

Okay, okay, fair, fair. But it's crazy. It's everywhere. And I see it and I'm like, that's psycho. But this is me. Look, this isn't her fault at all. I was just so enamored with this girl. And like on like day three, she was like, yeah, our house in Hawaii.

She also talked like that. And I was like, you have a house in Hawaii. She's like, let's go. And I was like, OK. And we flew to Hawaii for like date. I don't know, like the fifth day we knew each other. Wait, I'm so sorry. I have to stop you one last time.

And I promise we will let this go. This girl is an heiress and she does not have access to medicine to get rid of her lice. She had to shave her head. I don't get it. She's rich. They have access, probably, to technology that we lice technology that we don't have access to.

She looked cool. All right. I was it was a girl. I'll let it go. I'll let it go. You're on a plane. Keep going. We go to Hawaii. We get there. Did you fly private? No, no. She didn't have like all the money. I mean, I still think I paid for a flight or something.

Anyway, I don't know. I don't know what happened. We we get there, though. It's the first time I've dealing with a real. Met a homeless woman and she's in here. You're like, what happened. We, we get there though. It's the first time I've dealing with like a real homeless woman and she was in a park with a shaved head and I paid to bring her to Hawaii and I can't, yeah. I had pretty sure it was an unhoused person from Echo Park on vacation.

It's solid. Yeah. We go to Hawaii. We break it. We have to, we do, you know what? You might have your own. Cause we had to break into the house. Don't tell me you broke into the house. Oh my God. She's homeless. Cops come, she talks him down.

She, it was, it was her family. She had to like get her fucking grandpa on the phone. But then we were in a moped, we were in a moped and we drove all around Maui. It's a fucking big island. I had no idea how big that island was. But then on the ride, she had this fanny pack and she opened it and she had Coke, weed and Molly.

And she was like, what do you want to do? I go, you flew with that? Like, and I didn't know like babes just fly with that. Like I had no idea. I'm like 25 at the time. And it was just, I was, you know, still like new from Iowa and I was like, oh my gosh. And then we did, you know, all of those and like snorkeled

and I was like, I love this chick. I love her. Also she had scabies this whole time. Oh my God. Yeah, I loved, I loved every part of this. I'm the problem in this story. Aren't they mites that go on your skin? Yeah, skin mites.

Skin mites. You have to put an entire cream all over your body from the neck down to the bottom of your feet. There's no cure. I just have to peel off my skin. No, it was crazy. I was once strongly diagnosed with scabies. So I had to do the treatment.

Yeah. I had carpet beetles. I once thought I was becoming schizophrenic and it with scabies. So I had to do the treatment. Yeah, I had carpet beetles. I once thought I was becoming schizophrenic and it was scabies. So, you know. Your fingers itch so bad. The webbing of your fingers itch so bad. And I know that because when we got back from Hawaii,

which I'm now completely in love with this chick, she told me we have different spirits and we can't see each other anymore. And I was like, what? And then I had scabies, but, so I was so itchy and so sad. And it was like the worst dating experience I ever had. She gave you scabies?

Oh yeah, cause she had scabies, but I'm like, I don't care. I'm still gonna cuddle. You can't see him, you know? Oh, you knew she had scabies and you were just like, cool. She was doing the creams. Yeah, she was doing the creams.

And then, and then I had to do the creams, but I didn't have anybody to freaking cuddle with. It was terrible. Anyway, shout out to her. She rocks. I have no ill will at all. It was just a psycho situation. Do you know where she is today?

I do. Yeah. Yeah. I looked her up not that long ago. How's she do. Yeah. Yeah. I looked her up not that long ago. Uh, she, yeah, she, she got, she got a lot of face tattoos now. She sells incense in, uh, in Asheville, North Carolina. That sounds like an heiress to, um, Verizon, if I ever heard it. You fact check the heiressness. Her family sues each other a lot.

And they're in the news a lot over. Oh, my God. What money at like it was. What was the what's the Oxycontin family? Oh, I mean, the Kardashians. Not the. God. Sacklers. She's a Sackler. Not quite. But like their family didn't make money off of a good thing.

She's probably like a Johnson and Johnson heiress. Yeah, maybe. No, worse, worse. A Walton? No. Anyway, I'll tell you guys and it's like not that important. It is. It's just these stores are everywhere and I'm always just like that psycho.

That's her business. It's crazy. Anyway, but it was just me. She's the heiress to the Zoomies fortune. Absolutely, yes, the Mathnasium people. No, it was just like, I was just like, Tully fell in love with this girl when I was 25 and then she's like, we can never talk again.

I was like, what? And you know, shout out to her for, you know, teaching me a solid lesson. And what is that lesson, Brooks? I don't know. What would you say you took away from that experience that you applied to the rest of your dating life? I really think I've been chasing that love that I felt that week ever since then.

Oh my God. Every girl I've dated, I'm like, do you have to be crazy, right? Are you crazy? What was the lesson again? The lesson is I don't have a lesson. If she listens, I love you and I will take you back. Bad dates.

Bad dates. We have Jared Goldstein here last, but certainly, of course, not least. And you have, we're doing something a little special with you, Jared, because you have a little amuse-bouche to begin and then get into your main longer story. But what what is the short story? OK, the first one I have twice now accidentally fallen asleep and missed a date entirely. Oh, wow. Fair. And then that's not crazy. I mean, for me, it feels crazy because I'm not a date entirely. Whoa. Wow. And then that's not crazy.

I mean, for me, it feels crazy because I'm not a napper. I almost never do that. And that's pretty much like the two times I've napped. It was during when I was supposed to be on a date with somebody. And then you wake up to like the whole like every message. Hey, I'm here. Are you close? Are you OK? Should I leave? I think I'm gonna leave. It's really bad.

I will say I that my fiance is a big napper. The naps all the time. And my and meet your Johari, who I used to host a podcast with and was at the ground floor of us dating said at our wedding, she's going to play a slideshow of every time I texted her thinking that he was ghosting me or that he was over it and that he was gonna break up with me. And then it just turned out that he was napping instead. Because there were a lot of those moments throughout the beginning portions of our dating. Now, Jared, you did reveal to our producers that one of the naps, quote unquote, was from day drinking, which can you call that a nap

or do you call it a pass out? Passing out. Yeah. That actually leads me very well into my entree, which is also in a way related. But yeah, you know, I had a fun day, okay? Okay, so my little bit longer story.

When I was in college and my new favorite drink is alcohol, I went on a date with a guy who was sober, but I didn't know that. and I was in college, and my new favorite drink is alcohol. I went on a date with a guy who was sober, but I didn't know that, he didn't tell me. So I sort of inadvertently spent the whole date like trying to make him relapse. We're like at a bar, I'm like, I'm getting a drink, you want one? He's like, oh no thanks.

We go to dinner, I'm having drinks at dinner, we go to, he brings me to like a house party and I'm like, oh great, there'll be like beer at the very least at this house party and I'm in the kitchen, I can't find any, I'm in the living room, I can't find any, I'm going through every room just trying to find something to drink and then I bump into him in the living room and I was like, hey, where is the alcohol? Where is anything to drink at this party? And he goes, I'm an alcoholic and everyone here is sober.

And I was like, this is on him. Yeah, that's a communication issue. Like, yeah, we were both young. I think he was newly sober. I think he was like 24. I was like 20. Yeah, you got to be like 20 when it was sober party. But the thing is, I know a lot. I'm 36 and so I'm getting into the age where everyone is getting married and getting sober.

And I will say that almost every freshly sober person I know, it's the first thing they talk about like in a party situation, especially like they are learning to protect themselves. Like you're so right. Everybody like I'm I'm not drinking right now. And like because we have to stop. We drank so much for a decade. You have to stop. We got paid in beer for like almost a decade.

Yeah. Like you can't. Yeah, you can't keep it up. But yeah, so I just I didn't know. I didn't know. And I'm just fully like at this house at this sober house party, just asking everyone where I can find alcohol. But it wasn't a great date in the first place. Normal behavior when you go to a party, though, by the way.

Was this a nighttime, nighttime party or daytime party? It was a nighttime party. Wow. And what was was it just a stand around and talk party? It was a nighttime party. Wow. And what was, was it just a stand around and talk party or was there like games? Was there some sort of- It was stand around and talk, but there also was like, there were colored lights.

There was music. Yeah, I guess sober people deserve to do that too, I guess. But I guess for me, like my thing is- Just give me a heads up, let me know. When I'm, like when I do sober activities, I like, cause I do them frequently. I'm not fucked up all the time. I just like, it's not, it needs to be like,

I don't know, like dancing and standing around, like talking maybe, but like the music and stuff, like there needs to be an additive for that to be interesting to me. You know, otherwise I need like a game night. I need a movie. I need some sort of like organized activity if I'm not having something to make it more fun.

You know, almost. Yeah. Almost overdates or dinner walks, riding bikes. Like, I can't just fucking sit there. Yeah. Send me to an escape room. Let's go. Yeah. Oh, yes. Exactly. Play a game card game. Let's get busy. Yeah.

Although I did do an escape room recently where a Minotaur chases you and if it touches you, you are captured. I did not realize that you were supposed to be captured. I was put in jail and I did a bump of ketamine because I was like, well, this is boring. I'm gonna just wait until my friends finish the escape room so I might as well just bump of ketamine because I was like, well, this is boring. I'm going to just wait until my friends finish the escape room. So I might as well just do some ketamine.

And then it was a part of it though. They came and rescued me and I was so weird when they found me that they were convinced I was a mole of some sort. Like I had been turned and was then helping the Minotaur, which was a really fun layer to add on top of the escape room, I have to say. Yeah. It's great. I love-

I've never combo drugs in escape room. I think that's the only way to do it. I highly recommend. Both. No, it's great. My favorite thing to do is go to escape rooms with a bunch of gay guys, because all of the little preambles setups that they give you for the story make it so much funnier when

it's a group of just gay guys. For this one, particularly, we all had blindfolds on and the tour guide that we were on a tour with is calling her boss in a panic because us, the tour, got bored of the historical sites that she was showing us and saw a military base off in the distance and decided to go and check out the military base instead. And I was like, that is such gay guy behavior. Of course, we got bored on the historical sites and we wanted to go to the abandoned military base. We're gay. So, highly recommend. Wow, that sounds like a whole immersive world.

Yeah, it really was. It's here in LA, you can look it up, the Minotaur Escape Room, it's really, really fun. I definitely recommend. But I guess I just spoiled that someone will get captured and you can have an opportunity to rescue them, so don't do drugs. Well, yeah, you let everybody know,

don't do ketamine when you're in the, when you're alone for four minutes. You're like, I gotta do ketamine. Okay, so Jared, back to you. What is the lesson, the headline you would say that you learned maybe in tandem from both of these dates, if you can call the first one a date or just one from the second one. I guess the first one, just set an alarm. You know, if you're laying down, if it's five o'clock and you're laying down, just, it can't hurt. Set an alarm.

And then the second one, I didn't learn a damn thing. No lesson learned. What I learned was that that guy was sober. Okay, you could have told me an hour and a half ago. And I would have been very differently. When you turn 36 or 37 and you have to get sober because that's what happens if you're a comic. Yeah. Uh, you, when you go on dates, you've got to let him know like, Hey, I'm sober. And that's it.

Yeah. And to be fair, he did say on the day early on, I was 20, he was like 24. I think he goes, you know, most people on my level are in their thirties. So it was kind of over at that point. I was like, well, maybe we're not the right match here. Yeah. Meaning they had been road hard and put away wet at that point. Bad dates.

Brooks, where can people find you? What are you doing these days? I have a special coming out October 30th. You can buy it, but November 11th, it's just for free on YouTube called Alive in Alaska. I went to Alaska for two weeks, shot a special and it was one of the worst ideas I've ever had. Can't wait.

Can't wait to see it. Jared, where can people find you and what are you doing these days? You can find me on social media at HeyJarredHey. I've got a podcast. It's called the Sorry What Podcast. Tune in every Tuesday. Cute. And Ali, where can people find you

and what are you doing these days? I am at Ali Colbert everywhere. I have tons of date, road dates up on my website. Check it out, Kono Show, follow. Amazing. This has been an incredible, an incredible, incredible episode. I had so much fun.

This has been Bad Dates. If you guys like the show, please rate and review it. Give us five stars. It helps people find the show. Even if you, as someone I checked recently, hates me, hates me as the host, thinks I'm really, quote unquote, dropping the ball, but still gave us five stars. So I appreciate that. Even if you have negative things to say about me or the pod, still give us five stars. That's really helpful. I appreciate that. Thank you. And listen, if you're looking things to say about me or the pod, still give us 5 stars. That's really helpful. I appreciate that. Thank you.

And listen, if you're looking for the perfect gift this holiday season, we have all new types of Bad Dates merch like hats, stickers, t-shirts, hoodies, and more. You won't want to miss these. You can find it all at SiriusXMstore.com slash Bad Dates. It's all really cute stuff, you guys. Until next week, I'm Joel Kimbooster and this is Bad Dates. Bye bye! It's all really cute stuff, you guys. Until next week, I'm Joel Gimbuster and this is Bad Dates. Bye bye!

Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media, created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited, and engineered by Devon Torrey-Brien. Produced by Anne Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana. Executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett,

and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Music by Cushi and Eben Schleder. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3283. That's 984-265-3283. That's all for this week. We will be back for more Bad Gates. Blast Me out