Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Speed Dates: Home For The Holidays (w/ Grace Campbell, Laura Kightlinger, Brad Williams, and Caroline Baniewicz)

Episode Date: November 30, 2023

On this episode of Speed Dates, Jameela welcomes comedians Grace Campbell, Laura Kightlinger, Brad Williams, and Caroline Baniewicz to discuss the right time to bring a partner home for the holidays, and all the strangest break-ups and walk-ins they’ve experienced over the holiday season. Grace Campbell: New podcast 28 Dates Later, and her previous episode of Bad Dates (also featuring London Hughes).Laura Kightlinger: What We Thought Would Happen podcast with Daniel WebbBrad Williams: bradwilliamscomedy.com, bradwilliams.veeps.comCaroline Baniewicz: @carolinebaniewicz on InstaAnd their previous episode of Bad Dates.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Bad dates! Sweet dates. Hello and welcome to Bad Dates. I'm Jermita Jamil and this is another speed day edition. And today we're talking about when to bring your date home for the holidays. And joining me is my hilarious friend, Grace Campbell. Now Grace, the holidays are coming up and I want to ask you this question. Where do you have to be in your relationship before bringing them home for the holidays? Is that

something that's important to you? Um, I, oh my god, I actually, I just remember this. I don't know if I told you the story about last Christmas, this is a fucking weird story. So last Christmas, I went out, so in, where I'm from in North London, we go to the same pub on Christmas Eve. Last Christmas, I ended up bringing a guy home that I went to school with on Christmas Eve, right? So wake up on Christmas Day and this guy's in my bed and I was like, okay, obviously you've got to go like it's Christmas Day like I'm going to go see my family. My god sisters are coming to meet me for a walk and like their families. And we're going to go for a big family walk.

So I said to this guy, I was like, um, you've got to go like my god sisters were about to get here. They ring on the bell. The guy's leaving when we're going out for our Christmas day walk. And my god sister, George, who's just like too nice for her and good invites him on the wall. He then comes on the walk with my family on Christmas day. He came on our Christmas day wall. You're one night stand. My one night stand who I never saw again.

On Christmas day last year, and I had Eddie and she was a puppy. And we were on the heat. We were on Hampstead Eve, but it was a big park in my house. And I had this man and we kept bumping into other family friends. And this man was holding the dog, so it was our shared puppy. And I kept turning to Georgia, like, why the fuck have you done this?

You've ruined Christmas for me. I'm stressed the whole time whenever I go to meet a parents' family for the first time, because I'm worried I'm going to need a poo. And I've just read so many stories that are specifically about the first time someone meets the family of their partner, doing a massive poo that breaks the toilet and I told one of those stories when I was in the Sarasovan episode of The Woman Who's Shirt was too big and she had to throw it out the window but then there was double glazing and so it got

trapped in the double glazing and then she went in to try and rescue it from the double glazing. I can see that I'm giving you the ick right now. No, no, no, no, I just have to be rescued by the fire. How to avoid this. Oh, do you bring a knife into the toilet? What is your hat? You have to just get the water really, really hot and just get really, really hot water in.

You just break the poo up with really hot water. Oh my god! Oh no, I'm so sorry, everyone. No, that's true. That is true, I'm sure. But that's my fear. I'm just like that's like there was the girl who threw her poo out the window and accidentally she didn't realise that it was eating in a conservatory. Oh. It was conservatory and so when she came downstairs they were ready to eat but they were all just looking up at like what kind of a bird could have done this, like massive shit. And so those are the sort of like terrors that I have. But that aside, what is the worst thing

that you or a date has ever done around families, around each other's families? My mum once walked in on me having sex. Oh my God, no! What happened? It was so, it was in my family home, and she just, she walked in and then she said, oh, I'm so sorry darling.

And then I told him to jump out the window and die. Have you ever talked about what happened with once with my dad and the nude? No. Oh my god, this is the worst story you're ever heard. Oh my god, I do know this story. Tell everyone the story. I remember now. This is the worst story ever.

Could I actually block it out of my brain? Go on. My dad has completely blocked out of his brain. Like, when I try and bring it up, he's like, no, I do not remember that. So I'd just gotten with my ex boyfriend and we were on holiday. And not my ex boyfriend wasn't there. I was on a holiday with my family. I'd taken a nude upstairs in my bathroom of me in the bath.

I won't say doing what. And then I came downstairs and took a picture of my dad with my dog, my, my dad's dog. And then he said, can I see that picture of him and the dog? So I went to open up my photos app and then what came up in full screen when I was sitting side by side with my dad, the phone facing his face. Ready to view was a picture of me fingering myself in the bar.

You didn't tell me that detail, I promised just a new. No, to me, Lila, it was not an action shot. Mm-hmm. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I don't know how you've ever seen him again. I would change my name and to so in my family. No, it's when I remember it, I really want to like... Yeah, I just had my...

My body temperature just went up. I've got a bit of a mental story that's just sort of so insane that people have to hear. I don't think I've told it on this podcast before, but I had a boyfriend who, when I was much younger, who was really very strange. He wasn't very well, emotionally, and decided to come and stay with me for a while because he thought he'd be safer that way.

And I went out to work, and one day I came back and he had ransacked my room and was reading all of my journals and had like a highlighter in his hand from where he was highlighting parts he wanted to discuss with me later about my private thoughts and feelings, and he'd been annotating them them with rebuttals and shit like that. Was it stuff about him or was it just... Yes, of course it was stuff about him or old boyfriends or...

Or like, if I could... No, what was it? No, it was stuff about him, it was stuff about work, it was stuff about friends, it was stuff about ex-relationships, it was stuff about my own personal thoughts and feelings about myself, you know, my own personal or some feelings about myself. But it was my, I used to write, I never wrote in a journal ever again. And even now, like, you know, we're always told, like, it's a good daily self-practice thing. I can't do it because I can't believe that that happened. And the nerve to be making notes to not

be able to be actually done. We have to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be it? Yeah, to be annotating it. It's amazing, like, to have that kind of level of outrage. He got dumped within 15 minutes of that and then I saw him again. I mean, I will say that's why I've never written a journal. Right.

It's terrifying. It was so strong. Because I don't want anybody to know that. I'll just keep the thoughts in my head and I'll write them down mentally. Yeah, you just make a podcast and tell everyone and get paid. Well, look, Grace, you have your own dating podcast that is out now. Can you tell us what it is?

It's called 28 dates later. It's called 28 dates later with me and I went on 28 first dates with strangers and recorded them all. Very low key, like we were just wearing radio mics in pubs and bars and stuff. And then I talk about the dates with some of my friends. And I would say it made me never want to date again, but as a sort of social experiment experience, it was really interesting. And I think it will be really interesting as a listener.

And then you can listen to someone else's dates and think, wow, I'm so lucky that I wasn't on that date. And what do you think you learned about yourself making that podcast? I learned that I find a lot of men really boring. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh my god. Well, no one's gonna get bored listening to these episodes. They're so funny, you're so good. And thank you so much for joining me today. Thank you.

Sweet dreams. Hello listeners, this is Mike Corey of Against the Odds. You might know that I adventure around the world while recording this podcast. And over the years, I've learned that where I stay when I travel can make all the difference. Airbnb has been my go-to place for finding the perfect accommodations. Because with hotels, you often don't have the luxury of extra space or privacy. Recently, I had a bunch of friends come down to visit in Mexico. We found this large house and the place had a pool, a barbecue, a kitchen, and a great big

living room to play cards, watch movies, and just chill out. It honestly made all the difference in the trip. It felt like we were all roommates again. The next time you're planning a trip, whether it's with friends, family, or yourself, check out Airbnb to find something you won't forget. Hi, it's me, the Grand Puba of Bahambad, the OG Green Grump, the Grinch. From Wandery!

Tis the Grinch holiday talk show is a pathetic attempt by the people of O'Vill to use my situation as a teachable moment. So join me, the Grinch, along with Cindy Luhu. Hello, everyone. And of course, my dog Max. Uh-uh! Every week for this complete waste of time.

Listen as I launch a campaign against Christmas cheer, grilling celebrity guests, like chestnuts on an open fire. Now try to get my heart to grow a few sizes, but it's not gonna work, honey. Your family will love the show. As you know, I'm famously great with kids. Follow Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show on the Wondery app

or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show early and add free right now by joining Wondery Plus. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, Welcome back and now more of bringing your date home for the holidays with Laura Kightlinger Brad Williams and Caroline Banowicz. I wonder because this is becoming a moment where I'm hearing everyone, I don't know if you're hearing about this as well, especially in New York, but cuffing season, especially in places that get colder, everyone's talking about the fact that they need someone, really anyone, for the holidays.

I know a lot of, I have friends who deliberately don't get into relationships during the holidays, because they don't want to have to buy gifts, so they wait until after Valentine's Day to start being on the market again. I think that makes sense. I don't really get cuffing season, like I'm lonely all year round.

Do what I mean. And that is such an expensive time and dating someone's expensive. Yeah, once you get in right before Thanksgiving, then you can't really break up with someone until Valentine's Day, and at least about a month after Valentine's Day. Oh, but I broke up with someone right before Christmas.

Did you? No, right before Christmas, like a week of how that could? It was a long time coming so I like the timing couldn't wait. But it had to be done but it was bad. It was very bad. And did they throw that back in your face about Christmas? There was blame but it was it wasn't the Christmas. There were so many other issues that I just overlooked that it was the week of Christmas. Sounds like the holidays weren't you? Didn't even crack the top five of five.

No, yeah, yeah. There were a lot of issues. Yeah, a lot of issues. Knowing that this was coming for a long time, did you, had you already known to not buy him a gift? Yeah, and that's bad. And this was also one of those relationships where I had, I had bought in for a previous,

like occasion, like a birthday, something that was happening in the new year. So we had tickets to something in the new year. And you have to like transfer them the tickets and be like, yeah, do whatever you want with them. Yeah, like it couldn't even wait for that event. You know what I mean, it had to be. Yeah.

Did the transfer include like a link to download Tinder or something like that? Like, hey, you can find some old code. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, I'm sure they're doing perfectly fine. But yeah, I did miss out on like great seats to an NBA game. But it could.

Oh, wait, fuck. It could have waited. Wow, that is bad. That is bad. You've been taken out of the villain pool now. That's a huge sacrifice. It's a huge sacrifice. It's a huge sacrifice.

Okay, so other than that. You know, we're talking about the holidays, you know, bring some home. When I brought Garrett, my husband now, when I brought him home to my mom's house, he was just working on his laptop, and I came in holding two guns because my mom was in North Carolina,

she's guns all over her house, and I was just really afraid. I was like holding them like they were, I don't know, you know. Shit covered racks. I would just, yeah, I was just afraid that they're gonna go off.

I never held a gun. And so he had to go outside and discharge the guns. So that was, that was Christmas Eve one year. What? Oh my God. Did he think that you were bringing in the guns to be like, okay, this is how we decide if you can stay or not?

Yeah. No, that would have been good. But no, I was just like, my God, my mom has guns everywhere. Well, my mom was also, she was married to, my stepdad was a sheriff, so he left when he died, he had guns all, you know, and through the house, so he loved to, yeah. That's a great thing for a new boyfriend to experience. Oh, here, my stepdad, the sheriff, there's guns all over the house. We know how to hide bodies. Good luck with dinner. Yeah. Yeah.

He was, I mean, luckily he was already had passed by that point. So it was just, you know, you do already murdered a bunch of people, yeah. Got it. Of which, yes. We were talking about everyone's attitude towards holiday dating. We use someone who sounds like you're someone who wanted to be cuffed up, right? You wanted to be. See, I don't even know what that means, cuffed up. I mean, cuffing is a fucking strange, like, sentence.

And because you're much younger than me, Caroline, can you tell me why they call it cuffing? Like wanting to get together with someone at the, is it handcuffed? Oh, it's handcuffed. It's like handcuffed. Possibly be handcuffed with someone at the, is it handcuffs? Is it handcuffs? Possibly be handcuffs. And not the sexiness. No, I think it is.

Not no more of like, oh, you're... What's the thinking behind that? That's so stressful. I think it's like handcuffed. Like, you're cuffed up. Like, like almost... Are you and me abound to each other during the holidays? And whether we like each other or not,

we just need someone. We need a warm body. Yeah, exactly. It's for survival. Okay, what's the point? Anyone listening to this, if you have more insight, please message me because I'm dying to know and it makes me sound very out of that. Well, that's a really bad term.

I think it's just, you know, to have something really restrictive like that. It kind of takes the fun out of it, you know, like the idea of being with someone. What would you rename it? I don't know, like the idea of being with someone. Nothing like that. I don't know. What would you rename it? Yeah. I would say blanketed. Are you blanketed? Oh, that's nice. Because it's like during the holidays

and oftentimes it's like cooler and you wanna be under a blanket with someone. So are you blanketing with anybody right now? It's like a human heated weighted blanket. It's like maybe sentimental soulmate just for... Oh bless you, Laura. You are the purity that this podcast has been waiting for. Laura, you just titled the new Hallmark movie.

Sentimental soulmate coming to the Hallmark channel. Bad dates is produced by smartness media and Wandery. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Jameena Jamil. That's me. We will see you next time for more. Bad dates. Smart. Flash.

Sneer. Hello, Prime Members! You can listen to bad dates early and add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. Hi, it's me, the Grand Poova of Bahambad, the OG Green Grump, the Grinch. From Wondery, Tis the Grinch Holiday Talk Show is a pathetic attempt by the people of O'Vill to use my situation as a teachable moment. So join me, the Grinch, along with Cindy Luhu, and of course my dog Max, every week for this complete waste of time. Listen as I launch a campaign against Christmas

cheer, grilling celebrity guests, like chestnuts on an open fire. Now try to get my heart to grow a few sizes, but it's not gonna work, honey. Your family will love the show. As you know, I'm famously great with kids. Follow Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show on the Wondery app, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show early and add free right now by joining Wondery Plus. you