Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Speed Dates: It’s Always The HMU Girl (w/ Katie Nolan)

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

On this Speed Dates bonus episode, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes Emmy-winning writer/sports personality AND PHILOSOPHER Katie Nolan to talk about how she met her partner and whether or not they’re Valentine’s Day people, the love-affirming message she took away from The Matrix, and how sports and Real Housewives aren't so far apart, really. Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Katie Nolan: @natiekolan on Insta, @katienolan everywhere else, Casuals podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Bad Dates. Speed Dates. Hello, hello, hello, everybody. This is another episode of Speed Date, the Bad Dates mini episode. It's just a little time I get to sit down one-on-one with a very special guest, and today's guest is, in fact, I say this about every guest, but I've been lying about the rest of them.

This one is actually very special. She's a legendary Emmy winning writer and sports personality from shows like Garbage Time and Always Late. She has a new serious XM podcast called Casuals. Katie Nolan everybody. Hello Katie. Hi, hi, thank you for having me.

This is so cool to be here. It's so nice to meet you and I should say right off the bat, I love your husband. We'll shout out to Dan Soder. I will say this about Dan. I've been doing standup, we've both been in the game for a while. I'm coming up on like 15 years now.

And back in the day, when I first met Dan, you know, it was a different time to be a gay standup 10 years ago than it is now. There's a lot more of us now and the attitudes have changed. But I will always remember Dan as somebody, as one of those boys who did not treat me any differently than any other comic that he was in the green room with or just shooting the shit with.

And it was never, there was no condescension, there was no big dog, it was just, I will, I'm not super close to Dan, but I will always have the most positive memories of Dan Soder because he didn't treat me like a freak show or like some sort of gimmick comic. He was like, no, you're a comic just like me. And I, you got a good one, Katie.

You got a really good one. I really do know that. I really love him so much. He also has so much respect for you and for, and truly also just like for standup. I've never seen a man, if standup were a woman, I would have something to be jealous of. But luckily for me, she's just a gig.

So I don't have to worry too much. He can do us both at the same time technically. So I lucked out. Love that. What a wonderful threesome to be involved with. Katie, how did you meet Dan, if you don't mind me asking? Funny enough. The first time I met him was on a serious XM show.

It was at the time, was it Opie and Jim, I think was what they were calling it at the time, was it Opie and Jim, I think was what they were calling it at the time. And I had said yes to the appearance on a morning show. I'm not a morning person at all, but I said yes to it because Pete Davidson was gonna be there. They were like, and this was before Pete Davidson

was like known for being a hot guy who sleeps with famous hot women. He was just like, he was like, you know, he had maybe a couple of the women that he's now known for, but not I don't think at the time. But anyway. And then once I was there, it was him and Dan were the two guests and me. And I walked away from that and I was like, that guy is so funny. I was like, I don't even I didn't even know offense.

Pete Davidson, I'm sure he won't take any. I didn't even like know he's a Davidson, I'm sure he won't take any. I didn't even like notice him in the room. He's a big fan of this podcast, by the way. He is, listen, downloads it, listens to it first thing in the morning. He is definitely going to hear this. Dan, and Dan was like the person I went in there kind of thinking that Pete was going to be to me. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I just remember walking away from that being like, he's so funny.

And so then I had him on my podcast and then he came back and did it another time and he quickly became like my favorite guest. And when I moved over to ESPN and they were like, we need a list of people that you would want to have on your podcast, the top of my list, it was like if Dan Soder is ever available, if he's ever promoting anything, like please book him. He's the greatest. And like it just so happened that we booked him one time and I had just finally was single. We had never hung out while I was single.

And this was the first time and I was like raving about him in hair and makeup. And the girl who was doing my hair was like, you know, you could just date this guy. It seems like you really like him. It's always the HMU girl. It's always the HMU girl dropping the truth bomb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So she basically was like, you could just date this guy. And I truly I had that like clueless moment where I was like, the two did. The true girl dropping the truth bomb. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so she basically was like, you could just date this guy. And I truly, I had that like clueless moment where I was like, Dan Soder?

Do I love Dan Soder? And then the fountain is going off in the background. And yeah. Exactly, you get it. So I, and then, and then I mean it from that moment on, I couldn't be around him and be like, I was like, a tee hee hee hee, anything he said. I was like so obvious that I was like,

oh, I have a crush on you. And then, you know. It's so weird how that, when that paradigm shift happens with someone that you've known for a long while, but then suddenly you, for some, something shifts and you see them in that light and you can no longer be normal. Yes.

Ever again around that. And it was like, it was like like a seismic, like a shift. And then I had to go film a television segment with him. And for me, like I don't know if everyone can tell, but for me when I watch that clip, I'm like, oh my God, what are you doing? I feel like I'm like peacocking, trying to get him impressed with me.

It's wild. Oh, that's so sweet. And how long before you started to actually date and then fall in love and eventually get married? Well, we so I mean, we still haven't gotten married. Oh, it's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. And he's my I mean, he's my husband. He like is my husband for all intents and purposes.

I am just stressed out about planning a party. I am stressed out about how expensive a wedding is going to be. But we, so we started dating at the end of 2019. An interesting time because as you can tell now, 2020 just around the corner. So when the pandemic happened, he was living with a roommate in Queens. And I was living alone in Hoboken with like a place that I had bought, like a condo. And so he came over. Yeah, flex on them.

Yeah, thank you. So he came over. We obviously had a little bit more room in Hoboken. So he came over and spent, you know, most of the pandemic. At first, when we thought it was two weeks, he packed a little suitcase. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hilariously, we were like, oh, well, guess I gotta go get more stuff. So he basically, like we were on that like fast track that people experienced during COVID where you were either fast tracked to the end of like, well, this isn't gonna work and we know, or it's like, wow, this works. So like we truly, I'm kind of in hindsight, really, really grateful that the world forced us both

to stop because the stopping forced us both to stop because the stopping allowed us to get to know each other, really fall in love, and then get back out there, reinvigorated by this connection. You can only, I mean, you did love is blind, basically. You were in the pods together. Yes. You were in the pods for a year.

Yes, we were in the pods. I get it. Yeah, and that is like, it is such a make or break thing because it's like, you are, it's either, you are gonna go through this, the hardest time of our lives up until this point, and you're either gonna come out of this. I believe it's like your end game now because it's like, you make it through lockdown

and it's locked in, you know? Like, if you can make it through lockdown and it's locked in, you know? Like if you can make it through lockdown, then I think you can make it through a lot of things. It is funny, talking about how we all thought it was gonna be two weeks, I will never forget my friend Matt Rogers on the first time we ever did like a group Zoom, which was first of all, we were all like, what is this program?

When it was first starting, what rings in my head is him at the end of the Zoom going, I can't believe we have to do this for a whole week. And just looking back on it now, it was like, oh, if we only knew, if we only knew. It felt like a vacation at first, and then very quickly it felt like a vacation. It was snow day vibes for the first three weeks.

And then suddenly it was like, oh no, this is a nightmare. Um. Sweet days. Sweet days. Let's talk a little bit about the sort of what formed your conception of love, and for a lot of people, that's pop culture. And this is a question that I ask all of our guests on Speed Dates.

But what is an example of maybe a relationship or a love story or something in pop culture? It can be a song, it can be two characters from a movie or a show or something from pop culture that you remember that you watched and you said, that's what I want, that looks like love to me, or that's the feeling that I wanna have when I eventually fall in love? I feel like, this one's a little late, maybe isn't necessarily formative, and it certainly is not probably one

that you would ever have expected me to say. I can't wait. I feel like The Matrix, when I watched The Matrix, that had some sort of an effect on me because I saw watching that movie, like an obvious love story. What I had to say about love I found very, very compelling. The way that Trinity knows that Neo is the one

because she loves him and he knows he's the one only because she loves him. She can, what's wrong? No, I'm just, you're blowing my mind right now. I've never, I've never, like, I love The Matrix, but I've never really seen it in that framework before. And that is really beautiful. And you know what, it makes me feel so dumb

because to me, I was like, this is all I could see. All I could see was that she confirms him in a way that gives him an emotional base that allows him to then go on and be what Neo is. But just in real life, to me, that's the value of of a relationship is that the two of them, like she confirms what he is to him when he doesn't believe in himself, she believes in him so strongly that he can then go be the one. And I feel like that was

that part, I don't know, that's sort of what I feel about love, is that it's not selfish because you are giving, but you're both giving, so you're both receiving. So it's like trusting that I can give myself fully to you because I trust that you're going to give yourself fully to me, so we feed each other in that way. Does that make sense or am I just rambling about the Matrix? Katie, that makes so much sense and it is so fucking beautiful. I don't think anyone has ever...

I've never heard the Matrix talked about in that way and that is such a... You're right, it was a surprising answer, but it was such a great answer. One of the better ones I think we've heard on this podcast. And I think the distinction too about that dynamic too is that Neo didn't... He needed it, but he didn't ask for it necessarily. Like, he didn't... Because there are dynamics like that.

I'm dating a civilian. Like, I'm in the industry, he's not. And I think, like, for me, he is in many ways, you know, my Trinity as I'm, you know, Neo going off and trying to do these big things and I need that support and he bolsters me and makes it so that I can do that. But I'm also his Trinity when he's Neo, you know?

And I think it, and that's like such an important part of it too is that it's, you swap roles when you need to because you cannot, the balance cannot be, you know, just one person standing back and supporting one other person and servicing their lives and their career and their dreams. It has to be a two way street to some degree. And you swap off.

Sometimes I need to be the Trinity and sometimes I need a Trinity, you know? And I think that's what makes the relationship work. Everybody doubts themselves. Everybody has a moment of doubt. And to me, the key parts of the movie are that he isn't sure. He's not sure what's happening.

He's unsure, but this woman is sure and why she sure is love and when you think about it Obviously the matrix is about a lot of other really smart and interesting things Love is something a computer is not really capable of so if you're making a movie about you know, the the computers And the people and whatever. Humanity, yeah. What an interesting concept to be like the thing that propelled him, that allowed him to fight on behalf of humanity.

It was rooted in love. And if it weren't for love, then he never would have known what he was because it wouldn't have been reflected to him by someone who truly loved him. Oh man, Katie, what a philosopher. We're adding philosopher, edit in the intro, we're editing in legendary Emmy winning writer, sports personality, and philosopher Katie Nolan.

Because I'm literally gonna watch The Matrix later through this lens because it is, I've never thought about it that way. And I don't think a lot of people really. If it doesn't hold up, let me know. Be like, that was a really dumb theory. You sold me, but it was really a dumb idea. No, I think it does.

And I think there's also a component, and I don't wanna get too woo-woo, but it's like they're both awake. That's how I feel with my partner so often when we're together is like, I feel like we're both, y'all are in the matrix. We're awake. You know?

Like, you know? How many times have you said to your partner, like, I hate everyone except you. Except you, yeah. Or like, it's them and then there's us and it's us against the world. It's like, most of it's just exaggeration, but it really like, you know, that's what it boils down to,

is when I'm home, when I'm here with him and with our little fat dog, this is my heart, this is my center, this is my base, this is why I go out into that and deal with that so that I can come back to this, this affirms me. Yeah, that's amazing. That's really, really powerful. I hate to use that word.

Oh my God. I don't often say powerful things, so I'll take it. I really will take it. That is amazing. I love that answer so much. It's going down Hall of Famer for sure. Did you, now shifting gears really quickly before I have to let you go,

but are you guys Valentine's Day people? We did it, you know? It's like a, why not? An excuse to celebrate each other. So, oh, not sex. I don't know if I made it sound like we had sex on Valentine's Day, but we did it. We, you know, we might've, but well, that's a mystery.

I'll leave that. You know, you gotta keep things, some things behind the curtain. Yes, I try my best. For now, at least until I monetize it. So I got him, what'd I get him? I got him like some gum that he really likes. It's like, we didn't go nuts.

We don't do anything crazy. No, no. I like got him some candy and he got me some different candy and then we ate the, we put it all in a pile and we ate it. And I think that is exactly as far bought into Valentine's Day as I think is healthy for most couples. Because I'm sure you're like us,

like we actually forgot that it was happening. We're not Valentine's Day people, but it is like this thing of like, if you're a couple that like is doing special things for each other throughout the year, it's not necessary to go and do a big blowout on Valentine's Day because it's like, oh, you know, we do this every year.

But I agree, I love, but I love, like, you know, you still honored it in your own way and that's cute. And like, you know. Yeah, we're real indoor cats. We don't, we don't like go out and do, and that's, and I'm not even saying that like I'm proud of it. It's like, that just is, I know me.

At this age of my life, you know, I know me. And me likes to stay in and play video games and watch a movie and like snuggle and eat candy. And just, I'm like a recluse in the middle of Manhattan. You sound, and this is the thing. I can't believe that this is your Manhattan life because that is so LA. It's like couch time, couch time is so important

to the health of our relationship. If we do not have time on the couch doing whatever we need to be doing on the couch, like sometimes inside, like complete comfortable silence or playing a video game or doing what have you, like that time is our recharge time. It's not, you know, laziness. And here's the thing about you, Katie,

is that I could sit here for another hour and talk to you, I feel. But I will end now with our final question of the episode, which I ask everybody who comes on, which is what is something this week or over the last week or month that has made you believe in love? It can be something you've seen on TV

or something that's happened to you in real life, something you've witnessed, something that you've done, anything that really has reminded you that love exists in this world. Oh man, it's, there's so few and far between. Yeah, right. It's like I'm trying to think of something bigger than what happens in this apartment,

but sometimes in this moment, it might be a little easier to say that it was the, I think the chocolates that I got were the exact chocolates that I wanted from the man who loves me the most and who I love the most. And how lucky to love the most the person who loves you the most.

What a lucky proof of love. Yeah, man. That is like infinitesimal chances. You know? And then you're so blessed and I'm so blessed and I'm sorry to all the single people listening to this podcast right now. Really sorry. Really sorry.

It should happen for you. You deserve it. You deserve it. You deserve it. Don't stop looking for it. You deserve it. It will happen. Yes.'t stop. You deserve it. Don't stop looking for it. You deserve it. It will happen. Get off the apps. Start a podcast. That's how it works for Katie. Anyone can do that now. So just start one.

It's true. The barrier to entry is very low. Maybe some might say too low. Maybe some might say too low. Too low. Um, Katie Nolan, this has been such a fun chat. Tell the people where they can find you and what you're doing these days. Okay, so you can listen to Casuals. It's a sports podcast, but it's not sportsy. It's not too sportsy.

It's, I wanted to make sports accessible to people that I knew could like it, but who are bored by it or not like being communicated to by TV. I wanna demystify all the numbers and the, it's not about that, it's sports culturally for people that wanna be entertained by it. My thing is, is I follow the NBA because I grew up in Chicago in the mid-90s

and you don't grow up in Chicago in the mid-90s and not love basketball. But the thing is, is that a lot of people don't understand is that it is housewives adjacent if you're paying attention. You know, like there's so much going on if you're paying attention to the characters that play, especially in the NBA too. Like there was just, you know, and it's so much fun.

And yeah, so I appreciate your approach to sports because it can be fun. It can be just as fun as if you're invested in it. You just have to get a little invested. Yeah, sports can be reality TV if that's how you treat it. You can consume it that way and I don't think that that need is being met by a lot of sports programming. But I know it's just the way that they are

and have always been. So anyway, I made a podcast, it's called Casuals. It's two times a week, Tuesdays or Thursday, it's called Casuals. It's two times a week, Tuesdays or Thursdays, wherever you get your podcast. We're audio only right now, but we're eventually going to move to video. And it's with SiriusXM, but you don't have to have a subscription or anything. And it's not on SiriusXM, it's just, wherever you getin. It was a, you know, you had to switch. You know, we all had to make concessions at some point. You gotta do what you gotta do.

With the screen names, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, Casuals, SiriusXM, check it out. I know I will be. Katie Nolan, this has been such a joy. Thank you so much for coming on Speed Dates. And we will talk to you on the next full episode of Bad Dates. I'm Joel Kim Booster, bye-bye.

Bad Dates. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media, created by Robert Cohen, executive producers are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. We will be back for more... Bad Dates Smart Less Media Smart. Blessed. Me.

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