Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Speed Dates: No One Ever Gets Off A Plane (w/ Matt Rogers)

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

On this Speed Dates bonus episode, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes back comedian and LEGENDARY podcaster Matt Rogers to talk about therapy revelations, the most loving couple on that desert island, and the delicate act of staying friends with an ex. If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Matt Rogers: @MattRogersTho on Insta, new series No Good Deed on Netflix, Las Culturistas podcast, MattRogersOfficial.com for tour dates Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes.

Bad Dates. Speed Dates. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of Speed Dates, the companion podcast to the Bad Dates podcast, because you cannot get enough of me. I must appear in your feed twice per week. This is just a quick little amuse bouche for the main podcast. And today I have a very, very very very special guest with me in the studio That's right. It's writer actor comedian recording artist and friend

Most importantly above all else He's appeared in I love that for you fire island heard of it and he is the co-host of the legendary Podcast last culture East does and he is currently on tour with his show, The Prince of Christmas, and he has a new Netflix show that he's a part of coming out on December, what is it? 12th. 12th called

No Good Deed. And you heard his voice, it's Matt Rogers. Hi, it's me. What's up? Can I ask you a question? Was it copy the word. Hey babe. Hi, it's me. What's up? Can I ask you a question? Was it copy the word legendary or did you put in the word legendary to describe Los Colcheritos?

It was copy. It was copy, but I probably would have added it anyways. I don't, honestly, to hear the word, I start crying effusively, to hear the word legendary ascribed to my podcast, emotional. I mean, it kind of is, I will say, I do think your podcast is like,

it's what the fuck for elder millennials in the Midwest named Katie. Like, you've, I mean, you know? Like, it really is that level for a lot of people. Honestly, that means the world to me. I remember starting it and being like, well, if we're lucky, maybe some kids in college will listen to it.

We thought like gay college kids would be the target demo and it ended up being who I call the Katie's. My army of millennial women in the Midwest named Katie with a communications degree and something to say about pop culture. Listen, they are the reasons why Drag Race has such high ratings. OK, because it ain't the gay guys watching it. It's the Katie's. It's the women.

They are the reason. And I think there's a if the Venn diagram is damn near a circle, I would wager to guess 100 percent. I think you're right. And I want to get out ahead of something. I know that I just said my fan base and I know it are white women in the Midwest. They all did the right thing. They all did the right thing. All the Katie's did the right thing. I won't hear any slander and any speculation about the voting habits of the Katie's.

Okay, you leave my girls alone. They did the right thing and they probably wore a pin. They probably wore a pin that said Kamala on it. There's only one white woman to blame for the position that we are in today, and that's Debbie Walshman Schultz. Is this you? Do you think that more people who will get a Debbie Walshman Schultz reference listen to speed dates? Like, do you think that that's like they're more aware of Debbie Walshman Schultz here?

I think they might be because, well, I might have chased them all away because I got to say that like a lot of the negative reviews since I've become host have centered around my voice and straight men who feel alienated by the subject matter. So I might have for the people who know the DNC brass, they might have fled already. But I like to think that there's still some people who get the reference. You know what? I don't what I what I do think though, I don't think the mention of Debbie Wasserman Schultz brings the straight men back. You know what I mean? Like I don't,

I don't think that demographic is strengthened now post-reference. In fact, I think famously she sort of alienated a lot of blue collar working. She's sort of the Liz Cheney of the Democratic Party. It's like, where are we? You're really neither here nor there. Yeah, people are gonna love this segment of the bonus episode. But this is not, we are not here to talk politics or the intricacies of the DNC leadership team. We are here to talk about love.

And I know both of us are big fans of love. Yes. We have like whether it's a huge supporter. I know that both of us have been in love. And I think the more importantly than that, I think both of us love love in the media. I think we are both, as Pisces sensitive, imaginative people, have based a lot of our wants

around what we have grown up watching on television and in movies. I think that might be part of the problem for me at least was like nothing, nothing measured up to some of my favorite couples and love stories. 100%. I think that that's actually something that came up in therapy for me within the last six to eight months.

I think I was talking about, I was conjuring up a scenario where someone in my life said something like, I care about you so much that I'm gonna get better. I'm gonna better myself. I'm gonna make changes in my life because I love you so much that I'm gonna get better. Like I'm gonna better myself. Like I'm gonna make changes in my life because I love you so much. Like I envision the scenario where somebody like was willing to acknowledge their shortcomings and like really work to get better because they cared about me.

And my therapist goes, so that doesn't happen. My therapist was like, yeah, so that's not that's a movie thing. Like that's a romantic comedy thing where someone at the end comes up like jacket in their hand, then tosses it to the side with with just and like in front of your colleagues. I'm essentially talking about the proposal. Like this isn't really the scenario, but it's like there's not going to be any declaration of ways in which I've been wrong, how I've wronged you. In this sound bite, I'm taking accountability

and everything is different because of the way I'm making you feel right now. Like, doesn't exist, never gonna happen. I'm proposing in front of the other passengers. No one ever gets off a plane. That is exactly the way to say it. No one ever gets off a plane. No one will ever get off a plane.

The getting off of the plane is fake. Exactly. Not after everything you had to go through to get there. A pat down by the TSA. I'm staying on the plane, honey. You can FaceTime me when I land. No, especially to say nothing of like having to. I don't even like to get up to go to the bathroom. I'm not getting off the whole plane.

No, no. But that being said, one of my favorite questions I ask guests here at Speed Date is, what do you think is your favorite representation of love in the media? Be it television, be it movies, be it music videos, be it books even, if you can believe it. I think my answer is gonna surprise you, but maybe not. But I, for some reason, like, was unable to think

about anything other than these two. And it also is linked to me realizing I wanted to write television and be in Hollywood, actually. It is season one of Lost, episode six. House of the Rising Sun was the name of the episode. I'm, of course, talking about Sun and Jin. Jin played by Daniel Dae Kim's, Sun played by Yeonjin Kim. And this was, okay, so to set them up. So the lost plane crashes and there's, you know, this Korean couple, and you think on the outset

that they cannot speak English at all. You find out as the first five episodes go on that not only can Sun, the woman, speak English, she has been secretly teaching herself English in order to get away from her husband who is messed up in a lot of shady business stuff and has become distant and cold and not at all the man that she knew.

So there is an episode, which is their flashback episode, and it's showing her preparing to leave him and stuff, and she's gonna do this thing for herself. But something they've threaded in from earlier in the episode and early episodes is that when they started dating, he was the most thoughtful, attentive person ever. And he gave her an orchid. An orchid was her favorite flower. The orchid signifies something. So there is a flashback. At the end of the episode, and the music is playing and it was this gorgeous orchestral score by Michael Giacchino,

whose name I've known from this for years. He's gone on to become like one of the preeminent Hollywood, you know, film scorers. But this music is going and she is in the airport. It's the final flashback of the episode and she's going to walk over to the black car that has arrived to take her away. She is finally going. She has like a new passport. She's learned English. She's leaving her husband and he doesn't know any of this. And right before she's about to step out of the airport into this car and she's silently crying the whole time she's doing it, she turns around and she looks at her husband and he holds up the orchid flower. And she goes back and she's crying and he says,

"'Why are you crying?' And she said, "'Because I'm happy.'" And then it cut back to them on the island like in this new despair. Cut two seasons later, like their love was proven so many times. But like, well, I mean, it ends in the way it ends and I'll always be mad about loss for that.

I won't spoil it, but like not a satisfying ending for me for them. But an ending nonetheless that proved their undying devotion to each other. And they- And it is, they are one of the, they were one of the many characters on that show where the plane crash was actually the best thing to ever happen to them.

That ever happened to them because, well, it both the best and the worst because like it, like it brought them together, but then ultimately like whatever you'll see, you'll see the show if you do. It's never happened to them because both the best and the worst because it brought them together but then ultimately whatever, you'll see the show if you do it. I mean, it's been out for almost 20 years now. I'm gonna say spoiler alert here.

Ultimately they die together and it's because they're in a sinking submarine. You guys, this show really started to suck. But then she gets trapped under a piece of metal and he has the ability to swim out and go away but he doesn't leave her, he stays with her and they drown together. Of course, as I would do for you.

Thanks, dude. And here's the thing, one of my favorite tidbits about that is that Daniel Dae Kim lied about speaking Korean in his audition and that actress literally taught him how to speak Korean as they went on that show. So you watch the show and he's like, he's the character who I only I think Jin even only learns to speak basic English at the end of the series, but he's speaking Korean the entire time.

And she actually the actress Yeonjin Kim had a wonky relationship with English than Daniel Day Kim did. Daniel Day Kim is very fluent. I think first language is English. Like, so it's funny, yeah. But you would never know that. Their performances were great. And I feel they never really got the credit.

Like, Yeonjin Kim should have won an Emmy for that episode. Go back and watch that episode again. Yeonjin Kim's Emmy, where was it? And it is like finally, like with Daniel Dae Kim too, it's like network TV finally had the balls to cast a hot ass Asian man in a leading role. He's been killing it ever since. The Hawaii Five-O, like he's like, he's hot

and also has not aged a single day. Not even a little bit. And loved Fire Island. So you can know that one of your, one of the people that inspired you to love is also inspired by you. In all my compromising positions in Fire Island. That's beautiful. Thank you so much.

That was such a good answer. That's one of my favorite answers that anyone has said on this pod thus far. Naturally, Joel, I mean, what are you dealing with here? Come on, I'm a podcasting legend, I have a legendary podcast. Legendary podcast. I'm not gonna come here and give you bullshit. No, never, never, never. Sweet days.

Sweet days. So finally, before I let you go Matt, because I know you have to run, this is a little bit more of a current question for you. What is making you believe in love this week? And it could be a person, it could be a thing, it could be a place. This week, what's making me believe in love? You know what?

It's actually funny. So I'm preparing for my tour right now. And the Prince of Christmas Tour started as, have you heard of Christmas Tour, which started as like just a cabaret show. I would do way back in the day in New York for, you know, just like 70 people. Whoever could fit in the duplex.

Yeah, whoever could fit in the duplex. It started as a really small thing, but it started as a collaboration between me and my ex-boyfriend, Henry Koperski, who's my musical director still to this day. And my tour manager right now to add on this day very currently is named Ethan, and he is Henry's new boyfriend. So Henry and I broke up after a couple years of being together like a long time ago, probably in 2017, we've remained friends. And he's now got a new boyfriend and we're all close, the three of us. And that makes me really happy.

But what makes me believe in love this week, which is the question, is today and yesterday, actually, I was over there, where they're staying in LA to rehearse with them and just, you know, go over stuff for the show and just watching them together has made me believe in love this week. And it's fun to be able to say that about an ex and that is why I would say to all people, time heals. Yeah, I was gonna say, not to get into it and not to reveal your business,

but that breakup was not, you weren't immediately friends. This is a testament to how two people can come and sort of redefine their relationship a little bit and how they love each other. Yeah. Any time a relationship is going to change drastically, you do need some period of separation from it. I think, yeah. So with Henry, we probably took about six, seven months before we, well, when we stopped speaking ultimately to when we resumed it, and then that was,

ended up being really needed. And then with my second boyfriend, Jared, we ended up taking like a few months of space, not right away, but we did end up taking space that was good. And then my most recent boyfriend, I have no contact with at all, which is good. And I think that the space after all of those things,

like it sucks to have to go through it at the time because the transition that comes from like my boyfriend, my partner, the person that I text all the time to that person being absent is really hard. And that's why I think it's not always a thing. I've never done that, well, one time by necessity, but like I've never elected to do that right away. Like we're breaking up and I don't want to talk to you

for a while. Like that doesn't compute naturally to me, but I do understand why it's important at some point. It is a timing thing. And you figured it out with Henry. You eventually figured it out with Jared, but you got to let the wound heal a little bit before you rip that bandaid off because otherwise the scab will never, never come.

And you'll just have an even worse scar. Yeah, a hundred percent. And then also it's like, you know, if the relationship is worth fighting for or not, you know what I'm saying? It's like, you deep down know if it's about like, Oh, this is a relationship that I want, need, and will benefit from in my life. And on the other side, if the truth is like, I'm being selfish, I am still in love with this person, or I just wanna make sure I have tabs on this person, like you deep down know.

Yeah, you know, it's the difference between wanting them to move on and not wanting them to move on. And right, right, right, right. Yeah. Well, this has been so illuminating, so lovely. And I it's just so easy with you because you're a legendary podcast. So it's fucking difficult to shift. Not everybody who comes on here has a legendary podcast. I have to say, OK, the legendary not everybody. Not everybody on here has won an I Heart Award. OK, and a Webby, you know, it just doesn't. I don't think I've won a Webby.

Well, I think I want to just want a New York. What's the one you just won? Oh, I want a signal award, which no one could tell. No one could really tell me what it was. But then I went there. It was such a lovely ceremony, and I got to meet Esther Perel, who also won an award. I was just about to ask, how was she?

So great. I mean, you know, like, she has immediate gravitas. You know what I mean? Like, it's like one of those things where it's like, well, that's her, and like, you get it. And also like, what I love about her is she's one of those people, and this says everything about her

in a crowded room where you'd have to like raise your voice to have people hear you. She will not. She speaks quietly. She's gonna, this is the way I speak and this is my tone of voice and you're gonna come down to me. I will not yell over this music and these people.

I will not do it. I love that. She's like, I will not scream over Kesha's praying. I won't do it. No, cuts and be like, yeah, no, it's been really great doing it. And then she's like me screaming. Beautiful.

What a beautiful painting you have painted for us today, Matt. Thank you so much for joining us. No Good Deed comes out December 12th. Check out Matt's website for the tour dates. Which is. MattRodgersOfficial.com. You can get them there. And also there's like, you know,

there's a little link on my Instagram. Yeah, everything, everything, everything. And listen to Last Call Teresa's every Wednesday. Right now they're doing their Wicked series and I highly recommend it. It is so fun to listen to you guys chat with those people. So that's the pod. That's the pod. That's it. And I'm saying goodbye now. That's the pod. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media created by Robert Cohen,

executive producers are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. We will be back for more Backgates!