Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Speed Dates: Pan Is Sarah Lawrence (w/ Poppy Liu)

Episode Date: March 30, 2026

On an all-new Speed Dates episode, it’s Lunar New Year but host Joel Kim Booster and one of his best friends Poppy Liu (Hacks, iCarly, Better Call Saul) are going to push through, as they discuss their first big break as (sort of) twins on Sunnyside, Poppy’s load-bearing love of fairy smut, why she’ll only date people that are fully cooked, how her life has changed now that she’s a mom to a beautiful baby bleep, and how democracy itself chose Poppy to be Joel’s (potential) egg donor.    Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips and full episodes.  Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates.   Joel Kim Booster: Scrubs Season 10, Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 3 Poppy Liu: @poppyliu on socials, I Love Boosters out May 22, Hacks on HBO Max Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Bad dates. Speed dates. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another edition of Bad Dates, Speed Dating Edition. I am your host, Joel Kimbooster. Now, for those of you who are just joining us for the very first time, normally on Bad Dates, we gather together a panel of guests to talk about their bad dating stories, but on the speed date episodes, we slow things down, which I know is sort of an opposite of what you might think it would be.

considering it's called a speed date, but no, we slow things down. I sit down one-on-one with a very special guest and we chat about a lot of things. We talk about love. We chat about dating. We we tried about sex. We talk about whatever the fuck we want. And today I have a very special guest with me in studio. Not only is she an actress, not only is she a writer, not only is she an activist, but she is one of my dear closest friends, sister wife. Maybe ecton. Maybe egg donor. She said it, not me. Please, welcome. SAG nominated actress from shows like hacks, Dead Ringers, the after party, Better Call Saul, Sunnyside. And I, Carly, she is a first generation Chinese American who grew up in Minnesota and Shanghai. It's Poppy Lou.

Hi, baby. Hello, my love. How are you? It's an honor to be here. Now, we're both feeling a little, let's just say left to center. I, okay, the context is I told Joel when I said hi that I've been taking naps. I've been taking like hour long naps in 10 minute increments. Hour long naps in 10 minute increments. Yes. So that means...

The increments are important. Like every 10 minutes my alarm goes off and I snooze it again. You are sleep training yourself right now. Yes. Exactly. But also I think it's important to know that it is Lunar New Year's Day. Yes. And I feel valid for us to feel a certain type of way as Asians.

It's literally in the blood. That's all I have to say. And that's all we have to say. And who knows when this will be... Who knows when this will air, but just know that as we're recording this, it is Lunar New Year. And the Moon is fucking our shit up. Yes. It's also special because Lunar New Year. It's Ramadan starting tomorrow. And also the moon stuff. But I don't know if people are knowing.

I'm trying to spread the word. And I think this might be too late because this will air afterwards. But for listeners, do this next year. I, you can't do a lot of things on Lunar New Year day, just the one day. Yeah. You can't. Don't shower. Never do. Don't cut your hair. Don't clip your nails.

Don't take out the trash. Don't clean. Don't sweep. Don't cry. Argue or fight. Eat dessert. Eat sweet things. Eat candy.

Be with loved ones. And those are really, really, really strict rules. And if you look back on the day that we recorded and you say, wow, what happened to me on that day? It's because you cut your goddamn hair. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't sweep. That's your prosperity.

Let the rome. Let the, let the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, What is that robot called? That's her. I was almost on Roku, but I know that's not right. Oh, you guys know what I mean. Anyways, guys. We're so insane.

We're feeling crazy. And we felt crazy together for, wow. Is it? It's almost 10 years. 10 years? Isn't that crazy? No, it's not. 2017, 2018?

Oh, my God. Yeah. No, no, 2019. 2019 is when it premiered, but we got cast and we shot it. in 2018. So here's the deal. Hoppy Lou and I have known each other since our first both of our first big breaks, I would say.

Our first big break was a show called Sunnyside on NBC. Which don't try to look for it. It's been scrubbed from the internet. We have the distinction of saying that our show, Sunnyside, was the lowest rated premiere in NBC history. Is that true?

It's true. I don't know if it's been beaten since then. But wasn't there a deeper conspiracy that there was no market? There's a deeper conspiracy that they did not market the show. Also, um... Also, get this. The premise of the show is a rag-tag group of immigrants trying to get their U.S. documentation.

So you tell me why it was swept under the rug, okay? Getting canceled and being swept under the rug for being a show about immigrants, we were ahead of the time. We were actually ahead of the time. We were way ahead of the times. We projected. Yeah. We projected the future.

Honestly, for, I know that, you know, it was like, sad. And also it was the first time I had like even come to L.A. Or like worked in Hollywood at all. So I was like, this is great. No. I was like, I'm so happy. I was like I was a puppeteer before this. We both, I mean, the thing is, is it paid off my student loans.

Whether or not it, it may not have aired on television. I bought a mini Cooper. It aired on on Hulu, the rest of it. So, you know, people were still able to watch it. In fact, if you go on YouTube to this day, there is a super cut of just poppy and I's scenes that you can watch if you just are interested in our scenes. We played twins, sort of.

Of a billionaire. Of a billionaire. Billionaire, like hot, dumb twins. Hot dumb twins. And they were, they were,

again, very cognizant of our cultural identities. Joe being Korean, me being Chinese. And so they said that the twins were Korean and Chinese because the billionaire

had impregnated two women at the exact same time who gave birth holding hands. And you know what? Twins. It is one of those things where woke had gone too far because they came up to us

as though we were concerned we were concerned about the logistics of our differing ethnicities as being twins and they were like don't worry we've taken care of it we've written and this is never spoken about on the show though this was just written into our backstory we have one really

short seat in which like I slide it in it's written and where I'm like they were like they came up and they were like don't worry we know you were worried we know you are worried We know you were worried. We know you were concerned. We know you were mad. We knew you were about to drag us through Twitter hell.

We knew you were about to blog about this. Yes. We knew you were to go on to live journal. We took care of it. We took care of it. And it's one of those things where it was like very sweet of them to think. And I just don't think it even occurred to either of us at the time. No, I don't think that.

Because it was great. I will say they did not chemistry test us, even though we were supposed to play. We were in every scene essentially together. and joined the hip. And they locked the fuck out. Yes. You are my sister? And guess what?

I might also be your baby mama. And now, yeah, listen, this is, you're the one who's putting this on record on a podcast right now. And I'm so appreciative of it. And don't worry, we are taking you seriously. It's already on the record because Instagram stories are a record because people screenshot and shit. It's true. Because, okay, so the first time this was brought up, I think was actually lunar news. New Year last year.

Last year, yeah. Yes, at, I think, a bubble tea event. And I don't know what happened, but you were like kids, like. I think I had just, I think I had just kind of decided with John Michael, my now husband, that we wanted to have kids. And I think, like, I was probably explaining that to you. You were feeling really fertile. I was feeling really fertile.

We were both feeling really fertile. Yeah. And you, was it you? Did I ask you? I think you asked me and then, but I really latched on. Yeah, yeah. But you asked me because I remember Joel saying, and I quote, I want the child to be like mixed race Asian.

I, well, so as an adoptee myself, and we still, I will say we have not decided my husband and I, whether or not we're adopting or we're doing a surrogacy route. We just don't know what the journey will be quite yet. But I don't, as an adoptee myself, I don't necessarily really care. about being genetically tied to the baby. What I would like is a racial connection to the baby. And I think that is something that I think is somewhat important to me. And so even though we're different ethnicities,

I don't necessarily, again, as I just explained with the twin thing and the different moms, I don't necessarily give a shit about that. It's just not something as someone who grew up here, not being connected to my ethnicity necessarily, my ethnic identity deeply, but being connected to my racial identity very deeply is something that I'm concerned about. But, you know, if we were to have a go to the surrogacy route, we would use his sperm. And you would have a whole way of a Asian baby. And a little wasion baby so that, you know, there's that little piece of me that is connected to them.

But I really, I think, like, the thing about surrogacy is his genes, I just want them to turn out just like him. I don't want them to turn out anything like me. That's hard because I have really dominant DNA. Well, then I would love for them to turn out like you, too. A little bit, a mix of him and you. And I feel like I already had like, I would say like a audition by having my own baby. That is true. I was going to get to that.

I was going to get to that. I was going to say like there's like a really big selling point. You, you napping so much today. I was going to bring up and say to everyone listening at home who may or may not have been judging you is that no one deserves a nap. Oh yeah. Like a mom. Yeah. And I will milk that forever.

I identify as postpartum and I will until my child. is 18. Yeah. And then I'm still postpartum after that. Because it's still literally, yes, every, the rest of my life is postpartum now. Um, beautiful baby. And I hope for all the benefits of it. But that was brought up. And then I think I then did like an Instagram story like poll to be like, Joel asked, yeah, this is how it was decided. Actually, this was really, ah, we let the people decide. Democratic. Something about me and Joel is that we've always been for the people. Exactly. Including this. So I let the people decide.

I was like, Joel asked, should I yes or no? Overwhelmingly, I think it was like 98% yes. Do people really are invested? The two percenters comment now, what is your deal? Maybe I think this is probably a political stance against surrogacy probably. But, and let's be clear, Poppy will not be carrying the baby. Definitely not. No, no, no, no.

She loves me. She does not love me enough to ruin her body once again for me. Yeah. And not to say that that isn't a baby. physically taxing process in the end of itself. But no, no, no. She will not be carrying the baby. But then I didn't really think about it that much until your wedding, which was so beautiful.

And then you and John Michael's vows were so lovely. Also, I think it played a part of it that that was the week I binge watched heated rivalry. Oh, that'll do it. And so, you know, I was like, I feel I've never understood gay boy love in my body the way I do right now. and now I must be part of this baby. Wow. Thank you heated rivalry. Thank you heated rivalry.

It really is a life changer. Yeah. Sweet days. Sweet days. You're a mom now. Lovely. We can bleep the gender if you want. You're very protective and I appreciate that.

And I think that's exactly something I'm going to model. as a parent myself, I don't get why people post their kids on social. It really, really freaks me out. Well, I think also because of like deep fakes and AI and everything, like I just am so, I feel really private about just like, you know, life and my kid. A lot of people, I think if they followed you wouldn't necessarily even know you have Yeah, unless you. God, I've been too much information away.

It's okay. I feel like, because I will post like the back of my kids' head. And like, I guess any gender can have a cute little mullet. It's true. But it is. It's true. We know that from living in Brooklyn. Yes.

Yes. Very much. I will say my kid's haircut, which I cut, does look like every silver lake lesbian. And I have had a number of silver like lesbians approach me and my baby saying I want exactly that haircut. Yeah. Where did you get at? Me.

Yeah. And then that's a meat cute right there. And think about it. I could do it way better too because I have to do it. within 10 minutes, which is my kid's attention span of like sitting still. So I'm rapidly cutting. I'm barely looking. I'm in a flow state.

Yeah. Imagine if me and a silver like lesbian have an hour to do this mullet. Masterpiece. Whoa. And plenty of time for some other stuff too. Plenty of time for some for yeah. Yeah, maybe. I'm a virgin though.

That's something else about me. Born again virgin. Yes. When you met me, I was a hoe. Oh. Very slutty. Now I'm a completely One of the early things we connected about

Was being a slut. I mean, we won't get into it. We can't get into it. Yeah, because that was the past and you're a virgin now. Yes. But no memories of it. We got into some shenanigans

and it was one of my, it was the best thing. I'll say the other thing, I am going to just docks us now. One of my favorite nights on set was you and I both had to do a night shoot for the show but neither of us had lines. And so we did something that I have not done since because we're both professionals.

Professional. We're professionals down. We got so high. Yes. Because we were like, we're background extras. It's an overnight shoot. Like we don't have to, we don't have to say any lines. We literally just like in the background of scenes.

So let's get so stoned. And it was one of the, I was like, this is now my family. Yes. And you'll, if you, if you track down Sunnyside, you keep the finale, baby. Yes. Don't look too closely at our eyes. Try to guess which scenes where, I mean, I feel like it works well with the characters, too. Yes, absolutely.

We're both, like, we're both dissociated all the time, which is a character choice. Yes. So, you know, I would say we were method. Which would you say has affected your dating life today more than. Probably being a virgin. I was just about to say, being a mother or being a virgin. And how does that? So do you, when you go.

out with someone, because you identify as queer. So, you know, anything, anything on the table. You don't leave anything on the table. I, okay, and then, okay, docks me again, counts me whatever. But I think, like, okay, bisexual is cute to me as a concept. Although technically before I did when I was like very, very, my friends were only other queer Asians and like everybody was like a non-binary experiment. artist of the Asian diaspora.

Yeah. I met many of them. Oh yeah. And I think we met around that time too. Then I think I was like I'm pansexual, which I think is accurate. But I just think for some reason in my head, bye feels really cute. Whereas pan, I feel like I don't have like a visual association with it. I think I understand the difference.

But for the listeners at home, do you want to get into the difference between buy and pan? Yes. By, I feel like it, in the title of it implies like two genders. Yeah. You know? You're acknowledging the gender binary. Yes. The multiplicities of genders and that attraction can happen anywhere along the spectrum.

Although for me, it's more in certain categories than others, but I think that's for everyone too. So I feel like Pan is more linguistically accurate, but by feels cuter. And that I cannot explain further. And you know what? You shouldn't have to. You shouldn't have to. Some things are just cute.

Some things are just cute. I can't explain it. Yes. When I think bye, I'm like, I'm like, I feel like I'm about to like put on glasses and like write a dissertation.

Exactly. And I pass the, my brain has so many holes in it. I cannot write a dissertation. No, I mean, buy is like state school. Pan is Sarah Lawrence.

You know? And it's, it's just like sometimes you want to go. And my, in my early 20s, when we were all starting collectives in New York and doing basement, revolutionary poetry, I was, I was pan. And now, as a single brain cell tired, mommy virgin slot, bye, sure.

No, you don't have time to, you don't have time to figure out what else is going on in between the two poles. I don't have time. No, you need something, you just need, you need it to be simple, straightforward. I need something to... One or the other. Well, that's the thing is I still feel like it's like in the middle somewhere, but I just like buy as a term. Yeah.

Yeah, it just, it rolls off the tongue. It rolls off the tongue. Bye. Bye. Bye. Oh, I'm bye. I'm bye. And it is...

I'm pansexual. Yeah. And then you're like, what? And I'm from the Asian diaspora. Yeah, it is a little bit like... But I feel like, okay, maybe not with bye specifically, but I think... but I do feel like of like a lot of us who have like done like identity, organizing, justice work, et cetera.

I do feel sort of like the energy capacity, whatever fluctuation of being like all in. We're doing all of this. Like I remember a time where all I did was process. I was in a relationship where like my first like kind of long queer relationship where we did spreadsheets. We did full spreadsheets that were like check like multiple different. different tabs of checking in. Yeah.

And we did them every, I kid you not, full moon. That is so, that's, that's almost startup culture. That's almost like quarterly review. Yes. Like, let's sit down with the Figma. Let's sit down with the PowerPoint. Let's like see what. All I did was processing.

And now, you know, now like me and that person, like we're like best friends again. And we're like, we were always meant to be best friends and not date and whatever. And now we're both like we're so allergic to processing. We can't even. Sometimes there's too. There is a thing as too much processing. Sometimes we're just like, are you good? Yeah.

Like now we've just become bros. Yeah. There's a fine line that you can tip over really quickly where communication becomes processing. Definitely. And sometimes you just need to keep it on the communication side of the face. And sometimes processing just doesn't go anywhere. Yeah. Processing is its own like black hole.

Exactly. And it is that thing of like, you want communication to be easy. You want it to be happening constantly. But when you bring it over to the processing side and it does become, it starts to feel like work sometimes. Yeah. And that's not, and again, if you're a processor out there who processes with your partner and that's how you operate, we love that for you. We love you. And I actually have a worksheet template that you could use.

Yeah. That's called the Queer Traverse worksheet. The Queer Trevers. Yes, Joel. Oh my God. It's a queer future multiverse. A queer future multiverse. Explain.

I don't, I can't. No, it sounds pretty hard. I simply am unable to. Yeah. I cannot. And that's kind of the problem. And that's the thing. Between that and now, I have one brain cell and it's struggling to survive.

Yeah. What does dating look like for you right now as a single mom? You are, you're co-parenting with the father. Yeah. It's not, you know, it's not that complicated, but it's also like, you know. We're like in a rhythm now and it's like pretty good. Not good. Sweet days.

Sweet days. Dating for me right now, I'm actually so glad that I'm here at this exact moment in time because I have some really important stuff to share. Oh, boy. Which is that as a virgin, my dating life looks like I'm. read a lot of fairy smut. Joel, I am so deep in fairy smart world.

Are we talking in AO3? Are we talking, where are we getting? All over. Like multi-part series, AO3, fan fiction, fairy smut,

dark academia smut. I just finished a devastating fan fiction about Draco Malfoy and Hermione Ranger. Devastating. which I actually think some of the listeners might know about. And I like, it's called Manicold.

Okay. Oh, is it a little. You know, you know. Yeah. Is it a little BDSM? It's so much. Joel, it's so much. Not one thing cannot even encapsulate it.

But the author of Matacold, which I think is like just like this like queer like Asian QD fanfic person wrote this and it's a 1,018 page PDF. Oh. It was downloaded 22 million times, translated to 24 languages. What? And then they went on to turn the book like Sands Harry Potter IP. I mean, this is, 50 shades of gray. Exactly.

Exactly how it started. Yeah, in Twilight. Twilight is to 50 shades as Manicold. Is to Harry Potter. As Harry Potter is to Manic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Okay.

But this was then turned into like a novel called Alchemized, which I then went down a really deep rabbit hole and found out it is the largest like book deal acquisition in history this is a couple months ago i think it's sold for three million dollars it's crazy people don't take fan fiction seriously but it is the same because the origins of it are like really queer and it's like a lot of people that live along like the margins of like you know the world that like want to like want to create sort of the collective fantasy worlds that we're all privy to into their own and like i don't know i don't know i just I feel like the fanfic world is so new to me right now.

How did you find it? That's a great question. So I first got into audiobooks because my kids' daycare is really far because of the co-parenting situation. And so during traffic, my friend was like, why don't you listen to an audiobooks, you don't fall asleep? And I was like, okay. So I was listening to autobiographies at first, which is very intellectual, very she, very cool. You know, I was like doing like Malcolm X. Asana Shakur.

and then like, you know, like different like artists and like, you know, whatever and their processes. Feeding your brain. Yes, feeding the brain. And then I don't know how, but I ended up starting to listen to Virginia Joufrey's autobiography, who was like, you know, the Jeffrey Epstein. Oh. Like one of the main whistleblowers. Right. That unearthed him.

And it's, you know, and I like, I think I started reading it being like, I want to know more about this person who has like done. this, you know, like, I only know kind of like from the media of her importance. And it was just so, so, so heavy. Yeah, I was about to say. It was incredible heavy. Not a light read. And like, mind you, I'm listening to this like at night to like unwind before bed. And like, I'm only on chapter three. It's like one a am. I'm having like a panic attack from this like, this is so dark. And like, I can't cope right now. And so then I was like, I needed, I need to 180. into something that's like the exact opposite. And that was the first night I listened to Fairy Smart.

And how did you? Just to like cleanse the palate kind of to be able to go to sleep. And then since then I have been, I've never left. How did you find it though? Did you Google what is the opposite of a Jeffrey Epstein whistleblower biography? No, I just had an intuition. You had an intuition. I had an intuition and I followed it.

And that is so appropriate to land on Fairy Smut, based on an intuition. Thank you. And then it's like changed my life. Well, okay, because this is what I realized. I don't think I have like, since I was like 14 or 15, this is the longest stretch of my life that I haven't been like continually dating or like in a relationship. Yeah. And like, yes, like I'm a mom now and like, but it's like that has both changed my life a lot.

And also I like always knew I was going to be a parent. and like even before, I still don't know how I feel about like marriage or like what long-term partnership really looks like, but I always knew I was going to have a baby. I think even when we met and this was like years before even, before I even met my kid's dad, I was like, I'm going to have a baby. I'm a baby. I'm so fertile. I got to have a baby.

I remember that exact inflection. Exactly. Yes. So I like that part, it's like it feels like it's a part of me and like it feels really familiar in some way actually, whereas this like period of time of being an adult with my frontal lobe developed and just not continually being like kind of just like in a relationship or dating, I was like, this is the first time I actually think I've been able to just like be with myself in terms of like, you know, like the self-love of it all, but also just like, you know, like what

like what is my own inner world made up of and like what are the things that I like and like what is romance to me and like there's times literally where I'm like gardening and listening to like intense very smut and they're like whatever and I was just like wow like all these feelings that I have are just from me yeah it's just me and it's like it feels kind of like a prepubescent like you know which is hence I'm a virgin that must be so I think that I feel that I feel find that from just knowing you and knowing your situation, like so important in this period of time for you specifically, because you have this baby, this human life that's depending on you. And that would, and that could, and that has so easily, and understandably so, that could

have become your entire life and personality and driving force. And not to say that isn't the center of your world and that you don't work very hard to make sure taking care of. But I think for a lot of single parents, it just becomes the sole thing. And so even though it may sound silly to some people who are listening, the fact that you have landed on something that has enriched your world and expanded your world outside of just your kid. And it happens to be very smart. It's so important.

It's giving you this handhold, this thing to hold on to. Yes. That is like, you know, keeping your identity separate from. just mom. Yes. And also, I feel like it's giving me like, I literally am coming out of it being like, I do like love has the power of changing the world. You know, like, in a way where I'm like, I like had some friends over for like at home like gathering or whatever. And I was like in a really juicy part of it. And I was like, I really want to be around everybody, but I'm like mentally not present. So I was like, I'm just going to lay on the couch with my headphones on and be with you

Sometimes you just need to be physically present with someone, but you cannot be emotionally or like mentally with the people. Yes. You know? And mentally, I'm like, well, right now I'm in a all girls boarding school. Yeah. Which is where I am right now. Earlier, if I was here this time last week, I would have told you I was in an alternative universe in which Harry Potter died Voldemort won all the death eaters from the world. And they were doing a surrogacy program of research.

population. Huh. And that's where I was for it. And I'm honestly still kind of there a little bit. I've gotten so many friends onto it. I connect with you. So you know the first piece of porn I ever consumed was Pokemon erotica. What? Yeah. Yeah. It was a Pokemon or of like ash and like Rock. It was a little bit like Giovanni, Giovanni, the leader of Team Rocket. But there was Pokemon involved. More as props. More as props than anything else. But

Where did you read this fanfiction? A.03? Fanfiction.net. And it was one of those things where, I don't know, like, how your experience of porn was growing up, but my computer was in the kitchen growing up. Oh. So these kids, these kids are fucked today because they are all experiencing porn at such a young age at the tip of their fingertips on this little tiny computer in their pockets. And meanwhile, for us, I used to look at like a lesbian erotica like, like, um, like GIF. Yeah. Oh.

I mean, the first time I ever saw a naked man, it wasn't even on a porn site. It was on a clothing optional resort website. And that was like, that was as close as I could get to through the parental controls. And like, it was mission fucking impossible for us. But there's something about that that's hot. It's edge play. You're edge playing yourself. I think our relationship to sex is so much more interesting than I think people who have been seeing double penetration since the time that they were. There's longing, there's yearning, your imagination is doing the work, which is, again, back to the fairy smut. I feel like, I'm like, wow, I haven't activated imagination right now. And I've never had time or had the desire to lean into it like this. Do you think this is going to affect the way, once you become a non-vergent eventually again? Maybe. Has this made vanilla sex too boring for you? Maybe.

Maybe. Yeah. I don't even think it's the sex part, though. I think it's like the common, it's like the courtship. It's like the yearning. It's like, and this is why, because I was like talking to like my bestie who's reading weirdly a very similar plot line to Manacold, but in like literatica. And, and, you know, and she was like, yeah, like they're fucking the whole time.

Like there's very few chapters or they're not fucking. And I was like, see, it's the opposite here. But I was like, because I was like, we didn't get until chapter 30 until they even kissed. Uh-huh. know, chapter like 45 until they had like consensual sex. Right, right. There's a little bit R word in it, trigger warning if anyone's reading manacled. But the author does a lot of trigger warnings.

It seems kind of right there, the title. Definitely. That's the thing, that's the thing, too, about the access that these kids have to porn today is that like, they're just scrubbing straight to the penetration. They're not, you know, they're not reading 40 chapters before they even kiss. They don't even know what it is to edge themselves like that. You don't even know. I'm edging over the course of weeks, months, and years right now. And you're so much more enriched for it, I have to say.

I mean, I'm even getting to the point. I understand it. I understand where they're coming from because I sometimes, you know, I'm almost 40. I've been having a lot of sex for a long time. I need to be weird sometimes. I need like a 40 minute improv scene before we even touch. Yes. Zip zaps up, baby.

Zips up. And the end up is 40 minutes of zip, stop, until you reach exhaustion. Yeah. From Zetasop exclusively. And then hands-free orgasm. Mentoring and physically. Sweet days. Sweet days.

Are you actively seeking anything from outside of the story world right now? The erotica? Yeah. It's like my heart is occupied. Yeah? I would say like I would say like I, I don't feel anything lacking. You don't have the room?

I don't really have the room right now. And I actually feel like it's like I'm the, the kitchen is occupied. The kitchen is occupied. No new meal ticket can come in right now. There's a lot of things cooking and I want them maybe fully cooked. And it takes time for a really good meal to be prepared and that meal is of the mind. And you're, and that's the thing about like you're throwing the party, you're cooking though. And the kitchen is where everyone wants to be, but they can't be in there right now.

You're working. Yes. You're running around trying to make a meal. I didn't realize this because like the last couple, I've got on like a couple of dates in the last couple months that like we're like perfectly fine. But like I just kept being like, you know, of a first date. One, I never want to feel a little bit bored. I don't, especially at first date, that's sinful. Yeah, no.

You know, like why? Like, there's so many things I should be. There's so many places that need my energy right now. I cannot at the end of the day be sitting here bored on a first date. That's terrible. But then I was like, do I like this more than listening to fairy smut? And the answer was absolutely, no. And that's so, you are so far ahead of a lot of people because so many people don't have,

so many people don't have, you know, slot in whatever their fairy smut is, you know. Like, they don't have the baseline to say, like, do I like this more than X? You know, they're not asking themselves that question. They just think that they should be on the date and are willing to put up with that. I will also say, I think another big component of it is because, like, as much as I'm like, I don't want to wax poetic about, like, queer family structure and, like, pansexuality, et cetera, et cetera. I will say that I feel like my home life and, like, my, is so, like, my, my, like, family makeup is, like, so queer in that way, like, the same ex from the queer travers. who's now my bestian as a godparent or my kid is now like living in my guest house

and we are like in essence it's kind of like my co-parent at any given moment there's like three people staying at my home and that's just like the rotation of like what home is like and it's like kind of cool to see that be the norm for my kid

just like whenever we get up like you know my child will just be like you know like where is everyone I'm like oh they're at Costco and my you know like my kid will be like oh like you just like there's aunties and uncles around everywhere.

And like I think so like I do think that sometimes a lot of times relationships or like dating happens as a way of like coping with loneliness as a way of like living in like such a not collectivist world. But I was like I am surrounded by people that I love so much that like there's not like a loneliness gap that needs to be filled. Which is I think it puts you in a really amazing position because now you have to ask yourself when you're dating. What are you bringing to the table that I don't?

already have. And that means that once you do find that person that is. And I know the answer. And it's like incredible life-changing romance. Yeah. And I do want you. Okay, here's the theme, though. I need it. Maybe not the current one because right now I'm listening to a lesbian, dark academia one and TBD on how good it is. But the theme so far, though, a lot of time is like, it's always like he is the most evil dark lord of all 18 lands he is the most notorious assassin who has killed and murdered the most people the most feared evil being of all the land she is 19 years old and a human virgin he is 850 years old because he doesn't age but looks like he's 27. That's Twilight, babe. And then, yes, but secretly he is kind and loving underneath, but he can't let the

world know that, but she can see it. And like, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she can fix him. And she can, yes. And he can, and then she learns her powers in the meantime, et cetera, et cetera. Anyways, so there is like a bit of that trope that for some reason exists, which, again, I'm new in my journey and we'll see how it changes. Where was I going with this? What I'm, oh yeah. So I'm like, yeah, maybe I'm looking for a 750-year-old. Someone you can fix, a project. I don't definitely. I don't want, okay.

Here's the other caveat that I've, like, said, especially after, well, whatever. The thing that I've been saying is that I was like, I will only date people who are fully cooked. Like, I don't want, there's people that are, like, perfectly wonderful and so lovely, but just, like, needs a couple more minutes in the oven. You know, there's some that are like, this is a. This is a frozen chicken breast that hasn't even thawed yet. I have to thawed. I have to season it.

I have to prep it. I have to preheat it. I have to plate it myself. No. Like now I'm like, I want to, I want the dinner to already be at the table. Yeah. Served. You have to arrive.

You have to arrive. You need postmates right now. Yeah. You are not looking to do all the prep work involved and making sure that that turkey comes out perfect. No. Because I'm like, I'm cooking myself. Yeah. And I have a lot of, you know, I want someone else to have done the cooking for themselves too.

Totally. And we can, you know, both arrive fully cooked. You need, you don't need the part, the fixing part of the story. You need the part of like, who's going to facilitate you discovering your powers? Yes. You know? Exactly. Exactly.

That's so wise. Whoa. that was so wise. No, I was going back to like your situation right now with your chosen family, helping you raise the baby. Yeah. Like, like so many like, quote unquote, like what we might, society might call normal situations raising in children is that it's a nuclear family and the extended family is there. Grandma, grandpa is there to help. I know your mom is like involved as well.

But like, it is the one thing that I think most people do that is a mistake when they decide to have kids, which is try to do it alone. You see. Yeah. And it's like I, so much about when we decide to have kids eventually and where we decide to raise them is it going to be dependent on who in our friend group is having kids at the same time and who we can lean on. Who's going to be there and who's going to be available to lean on for assistance and for support. because like as much as I know that he is responsible and I'm responsible and that we could do it, I know for in my heart of hearts that we cannot do it alone. Yeah.

And our families aren't around to help us. So it's, I think what you're doing is completely, completely, quite frankly, heterosexual. Totally. I think it's beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I mean, if you want to. But again, sort of.

just call it up. But we don't believe in that. No, yeah. I forgot. Sorry. No, no, no. We're by. We're by as cute. We're by.

Yes. In fact, maybe even straight. Yeah. And there's nothing wrong with that. I want, I want, I'm going to be the first to say it. I'm going to be the first to say it. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing.

Poppy Lou, this has been such an amazing sit down with truly family to me. I love you so much. I know. that I Love Boosters is coming out in theaters on May 22nd. This is Boots Riley's new film that you are blessed to be a part of. And honestly, it's like kind of convenient that it's called I Love Boosters and you're sitting with your favorite booster right now. I think it is fate. I haven't seen that.

So check that out in theaters. Where can people find you online if they don't want to see, if they want to see pictures of you but not your child? I would say probably Instagram, but I'm going to. kind of like also maybe around the time of very smart starting, I have been online less. Yeah. And that, and if, and let's celebrate that. And if you don't hear from me. Yeah.

So ultimately, I love boosters. May 22nd. Check out hacks now streaming on HBOMX. You are always a delight when you come up. It's my first thing when I say, do you know puppy blue? And I say, hacks. And they say, where is she? Why isn't she on that?

I want to see more. So you're one of my favorite people alive. You're one of my favorite people alive too. And I cannot believe that I get to possibly have your egg someday. And raise what will ultimately be partially your child as well. And in the meantime. It's so cute. And that's also, I hate to say it, it's giving queer families.

It's giving queer families. It's giving queer family. I hate to say it. Wait, what? Oh my God. Don't let Ryan Murphy know about this situation or he'll get, he'll write a show about it. Okay, guys, that's been another episode of Bad Date, Speed Date Edition. If you liked what you listened to today, please give us a rating and review five stars only.

I don't care about anything less than five stars. So I won't be to see it. I need, okay, fan fiction, babe. Yeah. Not cold readers. Slide into the DMs only if you have recommendations on fairy smart or very much. I will not be reading any other DMs unless you open it by saying, Hey, fan fiction, Badi.

Here's another one for you. And there you have it. And that's that. Thank you for listening. Goodbye. Bye. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media, created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited, and engineered by Devin Tori Bryan.

Produced by Ann Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana. Executive producers are... Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Baitman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Komensky. Music by Cushie and Evan Schlever.

If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3-283. That's 984-265-3-283. That's all for this week. We will be back for more. Please