Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Speed Dates: Slicing Citrus (w/ Greta Titleman)

Episode Date: May 29, 2025

On this Speed Dates episode, host Joel Kim Booster sits down with one of his favorites, the hilarious Greta Titleman, to talk about how you know the one’s the one, how you know this one’s not the one, the 80s romcoms and stand-up sex scenes that have warped her romantic perspective, and what’s making her believe in love this week (spoiler alert: the answer is VERY close to home).  If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips. Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Greta Titleman: @gertiebird on Insta for tickets and tour dates, also watch Search Party, Fantasmas, Los Espookys, Problemista Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Bad Dates. Speed Dates. Oh, hello again. And welcome back to another edition of Speed Date, the Bad Dates mini episode. And it's just a little like, let's settle down. Let's not talk to three people. Let's just talk to one. OK, and the one today is truly talk about being the one.

I have known this woman, this woman for close to a decade now. I've seen many iterations of her love life and the ups and downs, and I can't wait to dive right in and talk about it with her. You might know her from Search Party, Los Spookies, Problemista. She's an incredible stand-up comedian. And I just love her so much. It's Greta Tittleman, everybody. Oh my goodness, Joel. Thank you so much for that gorgeous intro. Now, Greta, I remember meeting you at the open mic, in the open mic scene in Brooklyn back in the day. And I remember thinking, what is she doing here?

She's too pretty. No, and please no disrespect to any of the other many beautiful women that I never had that thought about. But I remember it was just such a striking difference because you were wearing like really, like the fits were always like on point and it was like for who? Yes. For who? You know point and it was like for who? Yes.

For who? You know, and it turned out for me. Yes, for you, truly. For you, for all the other gays, and it's for the only people that matter in my life, the gays and the girls. That's truly it. I love it so much.

Now, I alluded to this earlier, but let's talk a little bit about where you're at right now, love life wise. I know, but maybe not everybody listening knows. Tell me about it. Where are you at, girl? I am truly living the most sort of kind of heteronormative life possible being married to a cisgendered male.

You know? And that's kind of- Who's a delight? Who's a delight? He's Abe. Abe is the best. We love Abe. Say his name.

Abe is a delight. Abe is a delight. We love Abe. We ride for Abe. We ride Abe. You know, we love the king. This summer, we will have been married for five years. Can you believe that?

That's fucked up. I know. And you're right on the heels of joining me in Holy Matrimony. Yeah. And boy, oh boy, are we going to turn real heteronormative as well immediately when we sign on the dotted line. That's what happens. You sign and then poof, all of the sudden.

Yeah. Suddenly, I'm like, OK, I guess I'm cutting the dotted line. That's what happens. You sign and then poof, all of a sudden. Yeah. Suddenly I'm like, okay, I guess I'm cutting up orange slices. For who? I don't know yet, but- And that's what I do every morning. I just cut up orange slices. That's exactly what you do when you're married.

You're just slicing citrus. Tell me a little bit, because this is the thing. I remember a previous relationship that you were in quite well for, it was a long-term relationship, a lovely man that we were not gonna speak ill of, but you know, it wasn't the right fit. And tell me a little bit about how did you know

that this was not the one for you? Well, I think that when you find yourself asking the question of like, is this the right person for me? Frequently in your mind, chances are they're not. I think that's like your gut trying to get through to you. I think a lot of the time we can be in relationships with people that we love as a person, but we no longer are in love with or love as a partner. And those are the hardest relationships to leave, right? Because you're like, I love this person so much, but they're just not like sort of rocking my relationship world in the way that I need them to.

I think that if you're in a relationship currently and you're finding yourself consistently wondering if this is the right person for you to be in a relationship with, or if you should leave, chances are you should do the kindness to both parties and leave. No, I think you're absolutely correct. Like the thing is, is it is normal to ask the question, but it is the frequency I think that is the real thing.

Like because and the thing is, is like you should be able to answer it right away, you know? Because and the thing is, is like, you should be able to answer it right away. You know, and I think there are doubts, especially the longer you get into a relationship is completely normal. But the overriding feeling should be joy. You know, like I completely agree. You should be excited to see that person every day. Yeah. But by the way, I also think that when you're in a long term relationship for years and years and

years, you're going to have periods of time where you're maybe not shaking in your boots for the person. But when you ask yourself the question of like, do I want to continue on in this life without them as my partner? I think that the answer you should be able to get to know quickly, you know? Quickly. Yeah. Yeah, totally. And how did you know with Abe? I don't know. I just knew. It was like weird because I had never thought of myself as a girl that was going to get married. That was never like my thing. I never was like, oh, I mean, I live this normal ass life with someone. I always just thought I was going to be sort of puttering and fluttering about. I really thought that I was going to be living the iconic Chelsea Handler lifestyle.

Yeah, you were going to be Angeline. You were going to try tooling around. Exactly. And a pink car. Exactly. Yeah. That's what I thought. And that's honestly what the plan was. And then I don't know, I met Abe and I just like... Truly, very quickly, I don't know if you felt this way with JM, but I truly, very quickly was like,

oh my God, this person immediately makes me feel... All the feelings I've always wanted to feel. Mm-hmm. Yeah. The biggest one was like... It sounds so like corny and maybe this is like sunk of me to say, but it was safety. I felt so like safe with him. I agree. I told my friend Kevin on the second day after meeting J.M. that I was going to marry that man and they were all being like, okay, you're being crazy. Which I was, you

know, that is, but that's love too, you know? Like it is like, it's like a chemical response is the, all the endorphins being released. And if you, you know, I, I'm lucky that they go four years in, like I'm still getting that little chemical release every time I give them a little kiss. But it is like that should be happening for you. Otherwise don't waste your time, honey. No, don't waste your time. honey. No, don't waste your time. Cut them loose.

Life is too short. Cut yourself loose. Be a whore. Yeah, go get fucked. Like we were for so long. Yes, come on. Sweet days. Sweet days.

Let's talk a little bit about how your own POV on love developed through the miracle that is pop culture. Is there a relationship or a scene or a song or something that was like, ended up being like a real flection point for you in your conception of what love is and what you wanted for yourself? Yeah, I mean, unfortunately, I do feel that a lot of the media that I was consuming in like middle and high school specifically was a lot of like 80s romance movies. Like I feel like Say Anything is something that's very etched into a lot of people. And, like, romance to me was hardship, okay? Was two people who were not supposed to be together, who no one wanted them to be together.

And passion, because they were not supposed to be together and because their relationship was so fucking hard. That to me was romance. Like Dirty Dancing and Say Anything were two, oh, and like in a weird way, the movie Splash were like, were three movies that really sort of like imprinted themselves on me for what love is. And then you know what else did?

The sex scene... Well, sex scenes at large have just completely destroyed me and what my concept of like passion and romance should be. Yeah, I think for everybody. But specifically... The sex scene in Jerry Maguire when Tom Cruise is having sex with Kelly Preston, standing up, okay?

And she's like, ah, ah, making crazy noises. Uh, that to me was like, I was like, oh, like sex is done intensely standing and then afterward you're just talking about business after. Why in the world would you stand to have sex? It's already so much work. I know. I know. When you see people holding people, like fucking people in movies, they make it look so easy. And I'm like, it's hard. It's hard. And I don't know that it feels better standing.

No. Yeah. Those people are also the people who have like a treadmill that they stand, that they walk on behind their desk at work. You know, they're making little challenges for themselves. They're making things that are easy seem way more difficult. They're going to the grocery store with ankle weights on, you know, it's, it's very that. So yeah, how can I make this more challenging? Exactly. I. So yeah, I guess. How can I make this more challenging? Exactly. I guess, yeah, I guess a lot of my romance

was informed by like 80s romance movies. Yeah, yeah. And rom-coms too. Then of course we get into the 90s teen rom-com. Obviously I wanted my she's all that story. I wanted my 10 things I hate about you. Come on. Yeah. Like the thing about so many of the movies that you mentioned is that like you put different,

a different score and set some of those scenes to a different score. Like the like standing outside someone's window with a boombox. Terrifying. It seems it seems like in the context of that movie, like a big sweeping, you know, romantic gesture. And yet that could go so wrong for so many people if you don't do it right. Stalker. It could be stalker energy. Yeah.

Also, of course, we cannot forget the most romantic scene of all time, Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes, Romeo and Juliet through the aquarium. I mean, that was like... I mean, that's classic for a reason. I know. You can say it. I know, I know. I guess I always wanted, I guess I always equated love

to being like a Romeo and Juliet adjacent tale. Yeah, you wanted a love so strong, you wanted to die. I wanted to be a mermaid and I wanted a human person to find me and give me legs. You know what I mean? And did that color like did that like change the way you operated

like into adulthood on the dating scene? Like, were you expecting those things? No, I think like, imagine me going on dates screeching like screeching like, is that Darrell Hannah?

Yeah. That's so funny. I was the child of an unhappy marriage. So what I was seeing happening at home, I was like, oh, I think that's why I was resistant to marriage for so long. I was like, marriage is a sham. There's no need. Men are men are stupid. So I think a lot of my energy when I was dating in my 20s was very like, men are stupid. You are stupid. I think in the back of my mind,

I always longed for someone to do a romantic gesture for me. And no one ever really did until Abe. Abe did something very romantic for me. Can you share what it is? Yeah, when we first started seeing each other, I was still living in New York and he was living here. And I was here on a trip and he was elsewhere. But when I was leaving, it was like a it was a trip when I was in LA and he was out of town

that we wouldn't get to see each other. But I knew that we had crossover at the airport. Like when he landed, I would be arriving at the airport to take off. Now, if you know LAX, you know that it's a bitch to get around. Like if you're in other terminals, it's really fucking challenging to get around.

He came, he like landed in terminal seven or something and came to terminal two just to see me before my flight after he landed. Now that slaps. It really does. It hits good. If you're in an airport, I know. There's something about an airport. I will say a real test of our relationship

was flying together for the first time because I, of course, fly all the time, so I'm very particular about the way that I fly. And the TSA is my greatest enemy. And so it really was being witnessed at the airport for the first time by the love of my life. And so it really was like being witnessed at the airport for the first time by the love of my life. It was a stressful day, but we've learned and we've grown and I've changed and I'm nicer to the TSA agents now

because of him. That's nice, that's good. He's changing me for the better. That's amazing, really, really excellent answer. Greta, now onto the final question, which I want you really set this up, you know, sort of Chekhov's question, Chekhov's answer. I will. I will say. Introduce the beginning of the pod. And now we've come home to Roost. What is making you believe in love right now? Okay. I'm going to tell you what. Now, this, your listeners are like, I don't want her to talk about

friendship love. Well, I'm going to talk about friendship love because that's what's making me believe in love. On Saturday at my show, I was feeling really upset about my turnout and Joel made me feel so much better. And then after my show, Joel said really wonderful things to me that meant a lot to me that, you know, sometimes it's like you always see things and it's like, we don't tell our friends, we love them enough for that. We think this and that enough. And it's like, I think I really needed to hear those words at the time that you said them to me. And it meant like, I think I really needed to hear those words at the time that you said them to me.

And it meant so much to me. And it's like, yeah, that's what's making me believe in love this week. And what's making me believe in love this week is your wedding as well. So it's all Joel. Joel is making me believe in love this. Oh, that's so sweet. And, you know, it's true. Like, especially when you've been doing this for as long as we have. I think you take it. It's like we don't pay like pay close attention to what each other's doing

and don't give out the compliments as readily as we used to. And it's not because of like necessarily competition or anything. It's just like we all take it for granted because it's like, yeah, we this is what we do. We are standups. We make people laugh. We write new jokes. And that's just the cycle or anything. It's just like, we all take it for granted because it's like, yeah, this is what we do. We are standups, we make people laugh, we write new jokes, and that's just the cycle of things. And I am making an intentional effort, always with all of my friends now, to really show up and edify them in a genuine way,

but just because I know that we all forget, you know? And I think it's nice to hear from friends, and it's more meaningful. forget, you know, and I think like it's nice to hear from friends and it's more meaningful. Like, you know, I can read like 100 YouTube comments that are so glowing and positive, but the one YouTube comment that's negative will ruin my day. Of course. The only thing that can pull me out of that is like someone that I love and admire saying that they love and respect what I do. And that's the only thing that really turns it around. Like all the other stuff is meaningless. Yeah, it's like getting really wonderful feedback

from like a coworker that you really like trust and look up to and like their taste. You know, it's like, it is different. It's like, I think that there is something that becomes super transactional, especially about standup when we've been doing when we've been doing it for as long as we have. We're like, when you clock into a show, you're like, yeah, I'm going to do my set and then I'm fully not listening to anything anyone says. And when we just like

take a second to like listen to our friends and tell them that we still think they're funny, it like is meaningful. It's been a while since I've watched someone else's hour. Yeah. You know. Which is a big ask, I will say. And like, but it was so inspiring. And I forget, and I'm a better standup when I do stay and watch the show.

Yeah, we all are. You forget that. It's like you're a better writer when you read. Yeah, you inspired me in so many different ways. And yeah, if you have a chance to see Greta Tittleman around town in L.A. or in your city near you, run, don't walk because she's in the pocket right now. I will say I'm operating in the pocket now. Greta, speaking of going to see you, you got where can the people find you?

What do you want to plug? Here's the thing. You can follow me on Instagram at Gertie Bird. Now, I've had a tumultuous relationship with social media as I feel that the system has scorned me. But you know what? We're working through it. Come follow me there because that is where I post shows.

I have this new hour. I will be getting dates imminently to be touring it. So, you know, keep an eye on the space, I would say. And if you haven't watched all of the gorgeous programming Joel mentioned up top, watch, watch Search Party, watch Fantasmas, watch Los Espookys, watch Problemies, watch it all. Your performance in Los Spookies is like, it's feeding the children.

Like, I just imagine some little gay boy seeing you on screen and just like him sort of like understanding something about himself. That's what I hope for. From Los Spookies. It's all so good. You got to check her out. Greta, I love you so much. I love you, Joel. Thank you for joining me today. Thanks for having me. Full episodes of Bad Dates are out on Mondays

and we'll be back with more of all of this wonderful dialogue and chatting and exploration whenever you hear my voice on your whatever app he is. I'm so tired. Goodbye. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media created by Robert Cohen, executive producers are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. We will be back for more. Smart. Bless. Me. I. .