Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Speed Dates: The Ick (w/ Grace Campbell)

Episode Date: November 23, 2023

Welcome to Speed Dates, a brand new bite-sized series of tales from the world of Bad Dates. On this episode, Jameela welcomes comedian Grace Campbell to discuss the British phenomenon known as "The Ick." Not quite as severe as a Red Flag, often not logical, sometimes entirely trivial, let’s talk about those moments that stop any hope of romance right in its tracks. Make sure to check out Grace’s new podcast, 28 Dates Later, and, if you missed it, her previous episode of Bad Dates (also featuring London Hughes).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Bad dates! Speed dates! Welcome to Bad Dates, hello! We are trying something different, we are going to give you the occasional speed date episode, which is just like a little bite size, nugget size chunk of a funny or embarrassing date story, but when you're on your way somewhere and you just need a quick,

tight little boost to remind you that you are not alone out there. And this mini episode is all about the things that your date can do that grosses you out, or as we call it in the UK, gives you the ik, and I'm joined by my hilarious friend, the excellent comedian who's been on this podcast in full form before with London, he is going to check out that episode. It's unbelievable. But this is my beloved Grace Campbell. Hello, how are you? Hi, Tvilla. I'm good. I'm good.

So one of the things I want to talk to you about this week is, well, in the US, we call it a red flag when we notice that there's something that we don't like about someone else. In the UK, it's called the ICC. and I believe that you are a pioneer of bringing that word into the zeitgeist. So quickly tell people what an ICC can be. Okay, so I feel, okay, the ICC has become like a blanket term for when someone does something

that just like makes you feel a bit sick and makes you feel like you never want to see them again and if you bumped into them on the street like you would like fall on the floor and pretend that you were a bin or something like it's that feeling of like if they even so much as watch your Instagram story and make you want to throw up like yeah it feels like more trivial than the red flag because the red flag feels a bit more like red flags are like, you know, unhinged. Yeah, and red flags are more severe when it's like somebody's like,

calls their ex crazy multiple times on a date, like that's a red flag or, you know, just certain behaviors and attitudes. It's like, I think, irrational. And my fear is that I have been part of creating a problem where people are calling, so I'll give you an example, right? A girl came up to me on the street like in the summer at some point.

And she was like, Grace, I have to tell you something and they just gave me the egg. Like, you're gonna die, you're gonna die, you're gonna die, right? She was so excited to tell me this thing. She then told me that she got the egg because she was dating a guy and then she found out he was allergic to shellfish. And that was her egg.

And I was like, that's not a thing. And I was like, that is not an egg. And you, people like you are ruining the value of the word egg. You're essentially a murderer. She was then like, oh my god, it's embarrassing. Like when we go to restaurants, he has to go and like talk to the chef to like find out like how he's cooked or the food. As an Ick expert, can you tell me some of the things that you personally find to be an Ick?

Okay, I got the Ick quite recently, but this is, I think, a really fair enough Ick. And it's so overused, but I hadn't replied to someone for a while, because I'd just been a bit preoccupied. And then he sent me a dick pick. I hadn't responded to his message, and he sent me a dick pick. And it was like really grainy and pixelated. And I was just like, first of all,

I don't think Dicks are photogenic. Like I never really wanna see pictures of penises. like I'd rather just see them in the flesh. I just don't think they photographed well. But also the quality of the picture, it was like really dark and it was like eight in the morning. I was on the tube with my dog. I was like, is everyone getting this picture? So that gave me the egg.

I think that's completely fair enough. Yeah. Also, what did you take it on a blackberry? How do you get even a granulated picture of a certain... It would have been, I have far away could he have been taking this picture from? I think he was taking it under the duvet. So I think it was like, you know, that light

that's like not a flash on a phone, but it's that light where they like, it uses the exposure, but it was really, really light. When you try and take a picture of the moon, like, I... I have to look like. I got sent a really weird dick pic from an ex who's penis I had seen and handled before.

And this is no attempt to shame him. But it was a normal, too small, a size penis, all good or fine. But years later, he would not stop sending the pictures of his hard on through his jeans. a normal to smaller size penis, all good or fine. But years later, he would not stop sending me pictures of his hard on through his genes. I've left him, I've been in several other relationships since. And he's sending me a picture of a ginormous hard on.

So he just put like a courgette on that. But it was completely rectangular shaped. And then when I zoomed in, I could see the little red light that means that it was a remote control. He was sticking a massive television remote control down his pants and pretending it was like a very rectangular, angular side squished. Can I just say that? Why did you let this go on? You got a new relationship and you'll still let this man on you

for both the object things. I love to listen to dick pics. If we kept on changing his numbers, he had mine. I wasn't going to change my number for him, but I just get these new surprise props from him. But also just trying to fool me with the idea that his dick has grown massively since we last saw him. My dick has grown and it also right up to me.

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Yeah, that was very cool. I've gotten the it before from like someone using got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the I've got the You kept calling me love. Like, it kept being like, it's okay, love. Did it remind you of like an old cabbie? It made me think of like an old English man. Like, that gave me the egg. Do you think it's just that, like, there's a part of your soul that registers that you're not attracted to this person, and your brain is trying to rationalise it

by scrutinising every single thing about them? I think so, I think so, because look, I, when I like someone, they can do some really it things and it would not be. I know, that's why I'm so surprised. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. That's why the, it's more, you just don't fancy someone and now you say they gave me the it

and I'm not gonna see them anymore, but it's like, it's just a really extreme version of actually just not liking someone. Because I have dated people and they would do like heaps of like vile stuff, and I'm like, do it again. Mm-hmm. Do it again.

Ignore me for five days. Mm-hmm. You recently had like a big rithlessic with someone that you'd been dating who you'd met on your podcast, which we're going to discuss in a minute. So I was dating one of the people from this podcast, which is a podcast what I had to go on 28 dates with strangers. And he was actually the 28th day.

Anyway, he was in an ethically non monogamous relationship, which many had a partner, but they were open, they dated other people. We started seeing each other, and there were two things that were really funny about this, which my friend Holly found so bizarre. I never, I was dating him for five months. I never asked him where he lived.

I never knew where he lived, like ever. And I never asked him what he did for a job. And we would date, like we would go on dates. It wasn't like a fuck buddy thing. We would date and we would talk clothes. But I like purposely didn't want to know where he lived. Because I thought that that would then when it ended, room in an area of London for me

where I'd feel anxious being there. And then I didn't want to know what he did for a job. Because I was worried that if he told me what he did for a job, it would give me the Ick. Because I knew he had like a nine to five job. And that's what it's going to give me the it. Is that a nine to five job? No, no, no, no, but it was just like weird thing where I just knew he was on thin ice

from day one. Yeah, I was like, whatever it is, it's going to give me the it. I was just suddenly, I was thinking about my own X and there was a guy I dated who knew that he was very very handsome and he would get, he was sort of like handsome where as soon as he walks into a room, women start just taking off items of clothing, like sort of unintentionally. And not a rye. He knew that he was very handsome and I would sometimes catch him like trying to make a hot face at me and all look away as if posing and slightly

pouting his lips and just looking out the window, trying to look beautiful and whisper. And it just turned, why some, it brings out a violence in me when someone does something that has that hate. What can you do in impersonation event? It was like, okay, so I'm looking at you and then you just go, I'm pouting my lips'm sort of biting my lip

and like making it sort of squinting my eyes and this really sort of like a scene from a movie. No one has ever been uglier to me than this man. And he was quite far the prettiest person I've ever been on a date with. But absolutely not. No. I think it's interesting as well, once somebody does something Ike, they are completely butters to me.

Like, I can't look at them and be attracted to them. Once they've done something, they're sick. They could be really, really rough. And I'm like, nah, you're grim. You're grim to me. So, tell us about this podcast that you met this man on. It's called 28 Dates Later. So, it made this podcast earlier in the year where I had to go on 28 first dates with strangers

and the idea was that they were all pretty much people I would have never, ever, ever in a million years going on a day with, from like a sugar daddy, I went on a day with a couple, I went on a date with a couple. I went on a date with this like polyamorous man who had like five girlfriends and was just like, he was acting like it was like his kind of like evangelical church, like trying to convert me to polyamory. I'm not gonna lie, it was a really weird experience and I found it quite overwhelming and I haven't been on a date since

and I finished that in May. Okay, so you're a deep-patured Matisse and we can listen to that in real time. But I think that sounds fucking amazing and the podcast is already being received so well. So congrats for that and thanks for joining me today to tell me about your ex. Thank you. Bad dates is produced by smartness media and laundry. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Jameena Jamil. That's me.

We will see you next time for more. Bad dates. Smart. Blush. Smee-ah. Hello, Prime Members! You can listen to bad dates early and add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts.

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