Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Speed Dates: To Smell Our Smells (w/ Zoe Chao)

Episode Date: October 31, 2024

Welcome back to Speed Dates, a series of bonus episodes where host Joel Kim Booster digs in a little deeper with some of his favorite guests. This week, actor Zoe Chao explains which 70s horror film has her favorite depiction of real intimacy, and why the gift of a very tiny telephone is helping her believe in love.If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Zoe Chao: New movie Nightbitch out in December, new series Creature Commandos Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes.

Bad Dates! Sweet Dates. Hello and welcome to a bonus episode of Bad Dates, where we get a little more personal, a little bit more one-on-one time with some of our guests. And today's guest on this episode is Zoe Chow. She's a writer and an actress from the after party, Party Down, and the upcoming movie

starring Amy Adams, Night Bitch. So excited to have you here, Zoe. That is so cool. I love Marielle Heller so much. And I have been waiting for her next film for so long. And so I'm so excited to see Night Bitch. Are you more night or bitch, would you say, in the film? I would say, oh, that's a really good question.

I mean, I think what we maybe learn is that we're all knight bitches. Oh, it's not about, yeah, it's about the knight bitches you met along the way. I love that. Yeah. Very cool, very, very cool. So this is just a fun, quick little chat

that we're gonna get into, not about necessarily your bad dates, but more about love generally. And so what I'm gonna start is I'm gonna flip the questions a little bit. I wanna start with just sort of in pop culture. We're talking movies, television, books, comic books, radio plays, anything really. What would you say is like your favorite relationship,

love story or anything that really like you hold onto as like that's like sort of what you took away from pop culture as like a model for what you want in your own love life, would you say? Okay, shoot. I don't know if this is a good example, but I was thinking, I recently rewatched Don't Look Now. This is a weird reference because it's not,

the genre of Don't Look Now, I looked it up, it's like horror and mystery. Have you seen it? It's Julie Christie and Donald Sutherland, 1970s. Wow, no, I'm not familiar with this, but give us the rundown, the quick rundown. It's ViBaf, Joel, and I really recommend it. Well, I guess it's about, we meet this couple

and they're grieving parents, They've lost a daughter. This is taking a turn. I'm now like, is this a good example? This is exactly what I want for my relationship. I gotta say. But I guess it's sort of a, you see this couple that are dealing with immense grief and they're in Venice.

He's restoring a church. And there is this, okay, so I guess this example I chose because it's one of the most incredible sex montages. Oh, okay, now I'm listening. That I felt was so intimate and I mean, this is not new. I think like film criticism has said this before, but like, it's, it's, yeah, there's this montage. So and like, on the heels of this, like, immense tragedy that they're experiencing, they like find each other again, in this hotel,

hotel room, and you kind of lose track as an audience member and like inside the story, like what is happening with time and they're in and out of just like all these different positions and there's this move that she does where she pulls his arm up and then like kisses or licks his armpit. Ooh, this is sexy.

In a really beautiful way that really floored me. And I do remember watching this frickin' movie with my mom in high school. She also had me watch, like, Last Tango in Paris. And really crazy, I've seen a lot of crazy movies with my mom. Recently, we watched Notes on a Scandal together, which has also, like we just gotta stop doing this. Yeah.

But. Very brave, very brave. I love that. Thank you, thank you. Thanks. But no, this, I mean, so they find each other again, they sort of re-fall in love in the midst of this tragedy, is what you're saying. Yeah, it's like in such sadness, they still are like trying to find each other. And at the, like post-coitus, there's this moment where she gestures to him that he has something on his mouth,

and it's probably her. And he then, you know, fixes his mouth too. And it's just, it's just real life on, on film, captured on a film. And that that was, to me, like the most romantic thing I've seen recently is like, because this life is so fucking sad, you know, this world is so sad. And so to find love in the face of all of that. That is so real. And I know that it's like on paper, maybe the synopsis of the movie is not. You're not giving... It's not a rom-com, certainly not. But I do find I totally relate to this.

And you're so right, because like the world is so sad. And when you have... You're lucky enough to have a partner by your side who really you can hold onto for dear life. Totally. That is love, that is romantic. That is like, I mean, especially- And survival too.

Yeah, I mean, this is such an elder millennial way to focus on this question too, because it is like, we just know, we're so aware of how fucked we are. Yeah. And we're just headed towards a fiery car crash of an end to our lives. And all the best we can hope for is finding someone

who's gonna lick our fucking armpit in like in a loving way, you know? Mm-hmm, to smell our smells. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of sadness, our smells of deep sadness. Cause you ain't gonna get it from Instagram, you ain't gonna get it from Twitter, you're not getting it from any social media platform, baby. That's correct.

But I am getting, I'm getting a ton of comfort from my partner, I have to say. Like it is like. That makes me really happy, Joel. Yeah, I mean, it is. What's an example for me for you? Because I was like, I want to hear Joel's answer of like this.

Yeah. To this question. Wow. It's so funny, because I came up with this question and I never even considered answering it for myself, because I'm going to have to answer this question multiple times over the course of many of these episodes. But I'll say the platonic relationship between Julia Roberts and Robert Everett in My Best Friend's Wedding is like romantic.

It's like the way I wanna interact with all of my friends in a like loving, like I see you, I recognize you way. You see me, you know who I am. Yeah, it's like a North Star kind of. Yeah, and who can orient you and sort of, because it is, I think this business and this life is just like constantly destabilizing. And like part of seeing someone and being intimate with them

is having them know all of the, when you're being bad too. And accepting it. And accepting it and sort of like holding your hand through it and like not letting you get away with it necessarily. Like still, like maybe gently calling you in. But like it is, they see all parts and that is like, yeah. Like no mess is too messy. Like, you know, like you're so, it's so scary to show those,

those really messy parts of yourself. But when someone is like, I see them, I will stay with you while we navigate this mess. It feels like true intimacy. Yeah. Wow, Zoe, that was such a great answer to the first question. I don't know how we're going to top it. Sweet days. Sweet days. This is more current, but what is making you believe in love right now? And this can be anything, really. It could be something you've read. It could be something you've seen.

It can be something you've experienced with your partner, maybe, or a friend, or a stranger perhaps. But what is making you believe in love these days? Yeah, well I really liked this idea of platonic love that you're talking about. Because I do think like friendship in some ways, like at its peak, it can be so romantic. And so affirmed, like deeply affirming, maybe because like sex is not on the table.

But, well, yeah, and this makes me think I just had a birthday and my dear friends are in this relationship and have been for a while. And I have coveted, they have this little phone, this like, it's bigger than this minuscule phone. I know that this is an audio medium, but I- It's very tiny, the size of a quarter. Yeah, I'm showing a very small quarter sized phone.

Their phone is probably the size of a- If you could keep it in money. Oh no, no, no. No, no, no. Grapefruit's gonna be too big. A tangerine. Tangerine, okay. Yeah. Or money.

So, so, so, so, so small. No, no, no. Round is fine, too. Yeah, still small. Okay. And they know that every time I come over, I immediately go to the phone and make a call. And they just know I love it so much. And so they, on my birthday, brought me this little phone,

this clutter sized phone that they got from London, that they had mailed from London from a woman who has tiny things. And I just felt like, ah, this is love. Yeah. They know your bits. They know your bits. They know your bits. They know what you like.

They know exactly. It's like, that is what I'm talking about. Like I'm a staunch defender in terms of love languages of gifts as love language, because people are always like, that one is so like lame and materialistic and blah, blah, blah. And it's not, they get it wrong.

It's not about buying lots of gifts or even expensive gifts. It's about listening and understanding what someone is going to appreciate and knowing them so deeply that you are so in tune with. Gifts is a huge part of my love language too because I am that person who heard you mention that you like this thing like months and months and months ago and I file it away and then I like,

you know, spring it on you. Yeah, no, that is a really great answer to this question. Yeah, and I'm like, that's romance to me. That's like, you know, and I just felt really loved and heard and understood and now I can make little tiny calls on my tiny phone to my tiny make believe friends. I love it, I love it. Well, thank you so much Zoe, ciao everybody.

Zoe, tell the bonus episode listeners where they can find you, not your neighborhood. Okay, I'm not gonna tell, yeah, I'm not gonna give the zip code. You can find me in the upcoming Mari Heller feature at Night Bitch starring Amy Adams that comes out in December. I'm also in the new James Gunn DC animated TV show

Creature Commandos that's coming out soon. And thank you so much for having me, Joel. Thank you for being here, Joey. It's so fun hanging with you. Yeah, it really, really is. We gotta do it outside of these little boxes. Please. Very, very soon. Next time I'm in New York.

Okay, that has been another bonus episode of Bad Dates. Thank you for tuning in. I'll see you on the main feed in a few days. Bye-bye. Damn, you make it look so easy. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media created by Robert Cohen, executive producers are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. We will be back for more. Bad Dates. Smart. Bless.

Mia. Smart. Bless. Mia. Smart. Bless. Mia.