Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Speed Dates: You Are The Stones In My Pocket (w/ Tony Hale)

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

On this Speed Dates episode, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes actor/comedian extraordinaire Tony Hale to discuss his new podcast about unusual achievements, The Extraordinarians (with Kristen Schaal and Matt Oberg), then they talk about how Tony proposed to his wife, how love can give you superhuman strength, and the work of staying in love as you both change and grow. This is a very sweet one! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Tony Hale:@mrtonyhale on socials, new podcast The Extraordinarians every Wednesday! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Bad Dates! Speed Dates. Oh, hey, welcome to another episode of the Bad Dates mini episode, Speed Date. Speed Date is when we slow things down a little bit. The regular pod, it's full of comedians shouting over each other, just trying to be the funniest one on the pod. And it's always a nightmare for me. And that's why we do these mini episodes where I can just the funniest one on the pod and it's always a nightmare for me and that's why we do these mini episodes

where I can just sit down one on one with someone really interesting and dig in to see all of their perspectives on love, life, and whatever else the fuck we wanna talk about. And I am so excited about the guest that we have today with us. He is an Emmy winning actor and comedian known for his legendary roles on two of the most

iconic comedies that have ever been on television, that is Arrest Development and Veep. He now co-hosts a new podcast, The Extraordinarians. It's Tony Hale, everybody. Hey, thanks for having me, Joel. This is so huge for me, Tony. As someone who plays an assistant to a powerful woman on a prestige comedy, I feel a lot of kinship to you.

I studied you, carrying the bag, all of it really. You are the blueprint. You are the blueprint for that kind of role. The emasculating character. Yeah, exactly. So we're so excited to have you. But before we dive into that stuff, I did want to talk to you about

what is the new podcast about? What can you tell me about it? And yeah, what's the deal? That's very nice. It's with my friends, Christian Schall, Matt Oberg and I. You've heard of them? And I'll tell them, you've heard of him. You've heard.

And we really interview a lot of people doing extraordinary things. A lot of Guinness records, people who've broken Guinness records. One guy like slacklined between who hot air balloons, this other guy, how many like pencils he could stick in his beard. And just kind of trying to figure out

why they do what they do. And I mean, the guy who slacklined, he's like near death all the time. We're just kind of fascinated by it. So we just ask a ton of questions. I'm glad someone's looking into this, honestly, because there's a lot, you flip through that book and you go, what's going on with that person

that they felt the need to do this? There's also a lot of just drive and passion. Like these people, just this one guy, how many contests he won for drinking as much hot sauce, not eating hot wings, drinking hot sauce. And just like, but you can see like the passion in him and he's fascinated by it and his wife helps him out and I don't know, it's just really interesting.

I get that. I feel like you have to be passionate about something. Like what's the point of living if you haven't found your thing that is driving you and that is yours and yours alone? And I think that that is really beautiful that some people have found that in eating hot sauce. Yeah, and if they find these old communities,

so like conventions of people do the same stuff and it's wild. Yeah, no, the competitive eating scene, I did a little project that was adjacent to it, and it is wild. They really, they train. Those are athletes. Those are full-on athletes.

And he said that after he won, he just lies on a concrete floor for five hours because he's in so much pain, and his wife goes out to drink. She's like, yeah, he's fine. He'll get past it. I mean, after drinking how much hot sauce, like he just, we'll do it for the art, his art.

I do wonder what that's doing to his long-term health. But you know what, that's not for us to question. Did you ever get to the guy with the long fingernails? That is, I think, one of the most iconic Guinness world record photos that I can remember seeing from the book. Did you ever get to someone like that? No, I think there's a guy and a girl who have the longest nails, and it's on the list.

It's on the list. A lot of these people kind of like, you know, they, not that they don't like to talk about it, but it's like so important. I mean, it's so precious to them. They kind of want to just keep it in the thing. Yes, they don't want people making jokes about it. Yeah, which we obviously do not. We're kind of fascinated by it.

But there's a lot of people on the list that we're hoping to get to. Yeah, it would be so interesting to me if the person with the longest fingernails in the world was shy about it. Yeah. Yeah. Right?

Like, don't look at me, don't look at me. I don't want to cause any commotion or attention. I'm just a regular person with eight feet long fingernails. Yeah, the challenge of that, of walking around with that long a nails. That is incredible. That is a commitment. I need to know it all, I need to know it all.

I need to know it all. Do you have a favorite episode that you've done so far that really sort of took you out? There was one girl who was the National Pun Competition. She won National Pun Competition, and she's I think like 23. She was so cool and kind. And ever since she was a little girl,

their words would come to her mind and then she would have this grid where she would see so many other words and she could just come up with puns right away. And she goes to pun competitions, beat out all the other national pun winners and they have five seconds, they're given a topic and it's like, say it's like hair.

They have five seconds just to come up with a pun back and forth and she won. And it was just like, and it's like hair. They have five seconds just to come up with a pun. Back and forth and she won. And it was just like, and her commitment to kind of rhyming and she's also a songwriter which makes sense. And just like an incredible girl. I will say my partner is obsessed, like he is ADHD and he hyperfixates. That's how it manifests for him.

And unfortunately one of the things he hyperfixates on is puns. Like if he gets going on, like he literally, he will be silent for five minutes next to me on the couch and I'll think he's watching Andor with me, but instead, no, he's like circling back to five minutes ago where there was a pun that he was trying to crack. So I think he would be very interested in that.

It would be very revealing for him. Yeah, he'd love it. So how long have you known Kristen and that? Oh man, well I did a show with Kristen years ago called the Mysterious Benedict Society and she's just the best. She's so cool and funny. And Matt Oberberg and I did Veep together.

He played Buddy Calhoun on Veep. And we were just, we would also, at Griffith Park, we would get together and there was like this quirky character exercise group that would get together with, we had a leader and we would just all do exercises together and we were literally all character actors, you know, not the, not the romantic leads. Right, right, right.

And just looking like complete idiots. And we all just became friends. Just doing burpees. Just doing burpees. Well, we didn't get that far. But we would, you know, we were just like, we gotta do something together. And Matt had this idea, and we just loved it. So we just went with it.

That's amazing. In terms of your comedy background, are you a Groundlings guy? Are you a CB? Did you have any training at all? Yeah, I'm not a big, I mean, I'm better at it now, having been on Arrested and V, but I did not study improv. I studied... I did more sketch comedy in New York.

I was in this group called King Baby. I like... I mean, I think improv is fun, but I also just like the science and energy of crafting, writing, and the joke and the timing and the rhythms and to find that comic dance, I get a real jolt out of that. Fortunately for you, you were onto shows that while, yes, there are improvisational moments on them,

the writing itself is so fucking good. Why would you even fuck with it? Totally. I remember years ago, when I rested, I went up to Mitch and I was like, hey Mitch, I'm thinking like if Buster was on like Dancing with the Stars or something, wouldn't that be funny? And he goes, no, I think I'm gonna have a seal

bite off your hand. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! And I was like, yeah, that's better, that's better. I'm gonna stop giving ideas. Don't put up Dancing with the Stars on the board, put up Seal Eats Your Hand on the board.

And it worked much better. That's amazing. Sweet dance. Sweet dance. So on this podcast, we do talk a little bit about love and specifically your love life. Tony, can you reveal to me now and to the listeners at home what your status is?

What's going on in your love life? Well, this weekend will be 23 years that I've been married to my wife. 23 years. 23 years, we were married 2000, oh, sorry, it's 22 years. 2003, so it's 22 years. Yeah. 2003, okay, so was this pre or post arrested?

Good question. We were dating in New York, planning the wedding, and then I got the pilot for Arrested, and I had mainly done commercials, I was so blown away by it, and then 10 days before we got married, Arrested got picked up, and we immediately moved to LA. So she was a makeup artist on SNL for about seven years,

and loved her career and made a huge sacrifice with me to come to LA, and then we were there for 21 years. Yeah. That's amazing. Does she still do makeup? She, we not, yeah, she'll do publicity makeup. She'll like, so we would work together, like if I had to do publicity, she would do that.

But we had our daughter, our daughter's now 19, and it was, yeah, she loved being a stay-at-home mom and doing kind of makeup gigs when they came. But like kind of being on set and the full time of it, I think she did that in New York. That's huge. Do you think, now how lucky do you feel, because I feel this way, that you met her and fell in love with her before your life exploded into-

Into a masculine character. Because that's really attractive. You know, it's one of the things that, I mean, I'm sure you feel this way about your partner. I'm a different man for having been married to my wife. Like I am, she has given me such a gift of just walking through things with me, you know, and sticking together.

And I feel like in society, which we have, we adore each other and we have huge feelings for each other, but a lot of attention is given to feelings and love. And it's so much about commitment and staying on course. Work, yeah. And I am incredibly grateful love and it's so much about commitment and stick, stay in the, stay in on course work. Yeah. And I am, um,

incredibly grateful that she's she stayed on the course with me. That's really, that's really beautiful. And I think that also it's, I mean, for me, I, I met my partner right before I became successful and it is such a nice, and he's not in the industry at all. He's in an adjacent industry, he works in video games. And it is so nice to have someone in your life when you're surrounded by all of the bullshit, the networking and the politics and stuff like that. When I went to the Emmys,

there is this idea in some circles of Hollywood where it's like, once you're there, you're like, oh, of course I'm here. This is like, I'm fine, this is cool, like whatever. I'm at the Emmys, whatever, I'm at the Emmys. It's where I'm supposed to be. And it was so nice for me to have someone in my life that was so grounded to take me by the hand

and be like, hey, buddy, you've dreamed about this your entire fucking life. Stop trying to be so cool about this. And like Padma Lakshmi's right over there. We watch her on TV every week. Like allow yourself to enjoy this moment, which is so important. I don't know how you find that with your wife at all.

Yeah, it's that and it's also bringing me down a notch. Yeah, no, totally. Don't get too, this is fleeting, and I'm 54 years old and life goes by quick and let's focus on the majors and not things that are kind of come and go. Like, 50 years ago, people in the business thought they were the shit and they're dead.

I mean, not to sound dark, but it's true. And it's like relationships and how you treat people and service, those are the things that really have a lasting impact in people's lives. Here's a real question for you that is something that we have had to work out over the course of our relationship is how do you make sure that you are not the main character in both of your lives?

When you are the one on the red carpet, when you're the one getting all this focus, how do you prioritize and make sure that she feels like she is the main character in her own life and not just first lady, you know, sidekick? Sure. I think it's work. You know, you have, I think it's work.

I think our natural default for all of us is protection. And sometimes that goes into like me, me, me. And you have to work on getting your eyes off yourself. We've been in therapy for God knows, we have had so many therapists for a long time. And you just have to wake yourself up constantly. Because honestly, that's where the life is, when you get your eyes off yourself and you focus on them and you serve,

and then both of you are doing that, that's when the union is really beautiful. But man, it's work. You gotta like wake yourself up to it. You gotta snap out of it sometimes. Yeah, absolutely. That's such a great way of putting it, waking up. Yeah, really quick story.

Our first date was a show called Stones in His Pockets. And it was in New York and I was so nervous. And we went on the date, all this kind of stuff. A year and a half later, when I wanted to ask her to marry me, I said, I'm gonna, the play took place in Killarney, Ireland. And I said, I'm gonna take her to Killarney, Ireland and I'm gonna ask her to marry me there

and the stone in my pocket is gonna be the ring, okay? So I had this whole, like, romantic story, all this kind of stuff. Went through it, yada yada, all that kind of stuff. Then years later, I'm shooting Veep in Baltimore, and Stones in His Pockets is playing at the theater, and I'm like, oh, this is cool, I haven't seen this since our first date, I'm gonna go to this play,

Martell was in LA. I go to the play, I'm watching the play, I'm like, holy shit, this play is about suicide. The stones in his pockets is what he used to kill himself. And I was so nervous on the first date that I was not paying attention to the play. So I pretty much centered our engagement around an engagement, I mean, around a suicide.

And I'm pretty much telling her, you are gonna be the rocks that kill me. That's pretty much the message. And I went up to her and I said, Martell, did you find that weird that I sent her our engagement around a suicide? And she goes, yeah, but I didn't wanna ruin your buzz. That is amazing.

I'm like crying my contact out of my eye right now. Isn't that crazy? That is so funny. That's commitment. She's stuck with me after that. You are the stones in my pocket. That's pretty much what I was saying. That will lead to my death.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Incredible. Well, and you know what? It's a testament to your love that she said, I'm gonna give him this one. Yeah, exactly. She did not ask questions. She just went on with the day.

Incredible. Okay, so Tony, we do have two questions that we do love to get into here. And I'd love to ask them really quickly before we let you go. And the first one is, and this is a, both questions are very broad, open-ended, however you interpret them,

but is there a relationship or a love story or a moment from a movie or pop culture or media that when you were growing up, really sort of implanted in you and you said, that's love, that's what I want, that really affected me or that was a great model for what you eventually were looking for. Yes, there is, Joel.

I don't actually have that great of a memory. So I kind of remember a little more, that were closer to when I was older. And the movie that came to mind for me was Punch Drunk Love. Oh yeah. Because there is this, Emily Watson came into his life

and he was a very kind of meek, quiet, to himself guy. And she came into his life and you saw the strength in him grow because of that love. And there is this badass scene where these guys are chasing him in a car and hit him in the car, and Emily Watson's in the car with him.

And she had some blood on her forehead, and you saw him get out of that car, take a bat, and just take these guys out! Take these guys out! And it is one of the most beautiful scenes because you just see the love just overtake him and obviously mixed with anger because of his love. And just so uncharacteristically just goes apeshit.

And then comes back in the car and drives off. And it's such a beautiful picture of what love, I mean, obviously we don't wanna bash people's heads because of our love. But just how love has just gave him this just supernatural strength. Yeah, no, it really does. That is so real, and I love that movie,

and I think that obviously, Adam Sandler, what a revelation. I think that was the first time we ever saw he could do something in this vein. But I feel the same way. I am so like, say what you want about me. I don't give a shit. I've heard it all at this point.

I know all six reasons why people hate me on the internet. Like, it's just like, it is like, it's old hat at this point. It doesn't affect me. But when people say or do things to my partner, I, that is, and that's how I know I'm in love, because I've never given a shit if someone had either died before in my entire life. But if somebody puts their hands on him

or does something or is cruel to him, I lose my mind. And I think that that is. And to piggyback on that, all those people that say things on the internet or whatever, if whatever he says or whatever Marcel says to me, that's, those are the words that stick. You know, like she, I can be having a shitty day or whatever Marcel says to me, those are the words that stick. I can be having a shitty day or feeling low and she'll say something like,

hey, keep going, man. I love you, we got this. It's like, it's just the strength. Or, and it can also be the opposite. Her words can really take me down. And we have to work through that. But their words, man, those hold weight. They hold weight.

It really does. You've given, part of love is giving power to somebody else in your life. Giving them the power to uplift or to tear you down like to like one or the other, but like you have suddenly handed over the keys to the castle to somebody else. And yeah, that is such a good poll

and such a good explanation of why it resonated with you. Tony, finally, this is a pretty simple, again, open-ended question, but is there anything that has happened that you've witnessed, that you've seen on television in real life or heard on the radio that has made you believe in love this week? This week.

Or recently, it could be, it doesn't have to be exactly. Yeah, I think this, I mean, I, kind of going back to the fact that we're about to celebrate our 22 years of marriage. Like that is so gratifying to me. I mean, I'm so, and not only thankful, just, you know, because it's like we stuck in there or whatever, but just the, how we have both changed.

We've even talked about like, who do we marry? Yeah. Like I had no, what, what was going on? But just that time. And when you, to kind of go back to what I said before a little bit, when you do walk with somebody, which I feel like it's very, it is very easy to run. It's very easy to bolt. When you do walk through with somebody, which I feel like it is very easy to run,

it's very easy to bolt, when you do walk through with somebody, God, that love just gets deeper and it gets stronger. And we've had many examples where it just goes into a gray cloud and we're just like, oh, how are we gonna get past this? And we do, and it's deeper. And I'm so grateful for that.

And it comes after you come out loving them even better on the other side. Absolutely. I completely agree. The reason I knew I was ready to propose was when I realized like, oh, I actually have fallen in love with the third version of you right now since we've met.

Like you've been three different people since we met and I've been in love with all of them and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be in love with the next seven versions of you too. And if not, I'm gonna make sure that I ride out version six until the seventh gets there and we can hang. So I totally resonate with that and that is such a beautiful way to wrap up this podcast.

One more time, Tony, where can people find the extraordinarians when it releases? I should know this answer better. I guess anywhere where podcasts are heard. Yeah, anywhere that podcasts are heard, you will be able to hear it. Do you know what day or time or date? Each one drops.

I like saying that drops. Each one drops on Wednesdays. Wednesdays, okay. So the Extraordinarians, check it out on Wednesdays with Tony Hale, Kristen Schall and Matt Oberg. I sure will. I cannot wait to get to the fingernail episode. This has been such a delight speaking with you, Tony. Thank you so much for joining me. Goodbye. Goodbye. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media created by Robert Cohen, executive producers are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky.

We will be back for more... Backgates!