Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Take My Data, Daddy (w/ Jessica Henwick and Leslie Liao)

Episode Date: April 20, 2026

On an all-new panel episode of Bad Dates, it’s an unexpected holiday special as host Joel Kim Booster sits down with the fabulous Jessica Henwick (Game Of Thrones, Silo, Glass Onion) and Leslie Liao (new stand-up special Silky Smooth out April 28!) to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Leslie takes one of the biggest swings imaginable when she agrees to a first date ON CHRISTMAS, and Jessica is shocked to discover she has propositioned a stranger ON VALENTINE’S DAY. We promise we did not plan this.   Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips and full episodes.  Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates.   Joel Kim Booster: Scrubs Season 10, Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 3 Leslie Liao: @resrieriao on socials, new special Silky Smooth out April 28! Jessica Henwick: @jhenwick on socials, Silo S3 on Apple coming soon! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of the Bad Dates podcast. I am your host, Joel Kim Booster. And if you're just joining us for the very first time and you're confused about what you're listening to, well, I'm here to tell you bad dates is a podcast that is just about that. Bad dates. Couldn't have made any simpler for you. We bring on some of my funniest friends, comedians, lifestyle experts, actors, clowns of all sorts and they tell us all of the tea from their no good bad dating stories. They're doing a service for you, so please appreciate them. And today, I am joined by two very incredible guests.

I'm very excited about this one. We have an actress, writer, and comedian from Netflix and the Tonight Show. You can see her on tour now, and she has a special coming out on YouTube very soon, although we're not supposed to promote it too far in advance, but you keep your eyes out for this, for Ladies' special, she is incredible. Leslie Lau, everybody. Yes, it's me. Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much for being here.

It is always a treat to get to hang with you. And now we turn to our second guest, an actress and director from Game of Thrones, Glass Onion, a Knives Out Mystery, and Star Wars, The Force Awakens. Heard of it! You can see her now in a new Netflix series, Vladimir. It's Jess Henwick, everybody. So aggressive. Thank you for having me.

I got to keep the energy up. There's only two of you today. So we have to fill the space. Feel the space with our energy. Are you collecting keyboards? I just realized. Why are there so many keyboards here? It does feel like a bombshellter in here.

I don't know why. Stockpiling. Also, being hidden from View is my vape being charged. So here's this for the camera. What flavor? That's right. I'm killing myself. I'm killing myself with this.

But why would I want to prolong my life? the way things are going. Okay, great start. Yeah, great start. Everyone's happy to be here. Jess, where are you coming from? From London. From London.

Well, I mean, today, from Beachwood Canyon. Oh, from Beachwood Canyon. Okay. That is quite a drive. That's quite a drive. Thank you. Yeah, that is a distance. That's a whole other area code.

And, Leslie, you live in L.A. as well. I live in L.A. Hancock Park. Hancock Park. A little Beachwood Canyon adjacent. Nice. Lovely area. Nice. You do love that.

You know Larchmont? Yes. Shout out. Shout out. Shout out. Listen, this is now become an L.A. centric podcast. If you don't know our neighborhoods, then sorry. Turn it off.

Turn it off. All right. So before we get started with your stories, I did want to talk to you guys a little bit. We have a slight icebreaker question that we always begin every podcast with. And today's question is very simple. If you were being set up on a blind date, what is the first thing you would ask your friend about the person they're setting you up with. How crazy are they?

How crazy? Because you want a little bit of crazy. Because otherwise it's going to be boring. But you don't want too much crazy. You want it to still feel like anything is possible, but he's not going to eat my face. Right. It is like, give me the variety of crazy. Give me the, like, I need a level set.

I need like, we first have to set the bar and then I want to know if he clears it. Like, is he a stalker or is he someone who has an intense, a neat? immediate, anxious attachment style. It's like, what are we looking for? What are the values? Do you tend to date crazy? I don't think so. I think I'm pretty good at sniffing it.

A little bit of crazy, but I think I'm good at sniffing out the real crazies. Do you date crazy? I don't. You know what? I married the first guy ever dated. Really? When was that? New Year's.

I'm a newlywed. I'm a new husband. Can you believe it? I have no business hosting this podcast anymore. My bad dates are all behind me. This is just to entertain you personally. Yeah, this is just to make me feel better about my marital status. Did you date a lot in both the UK and here?

I have. I've dated. Who has the crazier guys? L.A., of course. Yes. Of course. Yes. No question.

No question. No question. I feel like British crazy is so self-contained, too, because you guys are so, like, everything. is inward, you're not like, it's, it's better hidden, certainly, than guys in L.A. Guys in L.A. turn it into their brand on TikTok, you know, like that is like, they leverage the crazy and then make it their entire thing. Yeah. What about like, what neighborhood in L.A. is the craziest? Are we talking Silver Lake, Santa Monica? It's a different kind of, because you're

getting crunchy crazy over on the east side with Silver Lake and Los Files. You're getting like, manosphere crazy. If you go to like Hollywood Weho, like the west. But then you get back into Crunchy Crazy with like, is it Temescal Canyon? Like over there, you're back into the Crunchy. It's like sort of a horseshoe.

It's like Venice also you get Crunchy Crazy. Yeah. So, you know, you're sort of, it's, it's you're flanked on either side by Crunchy Crazy. And then in the middle, it's you've got your, your TikTok influencers who are setting up their tripod, making you get up at 4 a.m. to

witness the sunrise with them because the content will be good. That is not my story. But that is the tale of a friend of mine who is briefly dating an influencer. Listen, no shame. No shade to influencers. Shame. Shame. Shame.

I'm sorry, but if I meet a guy and he's like, I live in a house of other influencers, you know where they all live together to create content and collab? I'm like, oh, that's immediately. But I'm a little bit ages. If you're in your 20s, that's fine. That's a fine lifestyle. Okay, but why are you dating 20s? No, I don't.

I would accept that as someone in their 20s. Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah, if you're a kid. Yeah. No, if you're over the age of like 35 and on TikTok, it should only be like, it should be cute. Yeah, like when like I saw like a grandma doing a TikTok dance and it's like, yeah, she's allowed because it's like she's leveraging the age. It's the horseshoe again.

It gets cool again. Exactly. Exactly. I love when I see an older person because I'm at an age where I, what, what, what? What people are doing on TikTok is none of my business. What the kids are doing on TikTok, I should have no part in. I don't know what anyone is talking about. And I'm happy.

I'm happy with that. Are you on TikTok? No, I just removed it from my phone. Good for you. I needed to make more storage on my phone. Yeah. It wasn't for any sort of like ideological reason. It was a storage issue.

That's nothing to do with morals or purpose or identity. I was like, I need more photos. I need more room for photos and like my Spotify or whatever. but um and also it's like you don't need it you don't need it i don't know i i deleted it and i actually feel better about it but yeah but also if ticot wants to sponsor your next special i love tautil we love it we love it we love it we love it surveil us surveyless ticot daddy um take my data daddy leslie same question to you if you had to be on a blind date um what would uh the what would be the first question you'd ask you'd

ask your friend about this person. I'd say, why did you do this? So accusatory. Yes, because I luckily, I don't believe I've ever been set on a blind date, but I know that I'm not single anymore, but when I

was, if you're the few remaining single people in your friend group, they just look at you like, you're single, there's a guy that's single, you guys shouldn't meet, and there's no rhyme or reason. So I would say, why him? What about him did you think would mesh and fulfill me? As a gay person, I have to tell you, this has been

an experience of mine since I was in high school out of the closet. Because so many people's instincts is, I know another gay person now. You should know each other. You should date. You know, it's because we're so small portion of the population that oftentimes a straight person will only have a handful of gay friends. I will say statistically, I understand the strategy, but other than that, no. You can't just be like gay gay. Yeah, exactly. And so. And so, So I wonder, have you ever had a situation where someone set you up? Not that I can, no. Has anyone ever done that thing where they're like, I want you to meet my friend?

I think you'd be really good for you. And you say, let me see the Instagram. And you look at the Instagram. And it's a mirror. It's a mirror into what your friend thinks of you. Suddenly, suddenly you're saying, wait, this is me. Yeah. This is how you see me.

Yeah. This person. That's happened to me. I've never been on an actual date. It never went that far. but I've had friends like, oh, I know a guy, my boyfriend's friend, whatever. And one time they showed me a photo and I just screamed. Yeah.

I just screamed and left. This is what you think of me? Yes. Yes. This is what you think. Shame. Shame. Shame.

Shame. Incredible answers. If I was being set up on a blind date, Leslie, your answer is very, was sort of close to the one that I was going to give. So I would say the first question I would ask. is do they bring up how disgusting they think homeless people are within the first 15 minutes of meeting them? Because in L.A., that's a tall order to get around. And it is one of the main criteria I had when I started dating in L.A., which is, why in the first 15?

All the time? All the time. Within the first 15 minutes of meeting a person at a party or something like that, we talk about living in L.A., and they go, oh, my God, those people. And it's like, yeah, there's a way to speak about it in a, like, what are we going to do about this issue? you in our city. Let's join hands as a community and make some moves to get these people in homes. But no, that is not the tenor of the conversation. It's always these people are so gross. How do we get them off my street? And so I, yeah, it's always, it is right. It is like, the thing is,

is, it's a good barometer for, like, a person's heart and soul and politics, I think, is, is, like, it's an empathy check for me. Because you'd be a surprise. man, people in the city fully mask off when you ask them about homeless people. They're like, no, they deserve it. And I think we should euthanize them. It's just the people's opinions are so wild. So sorry to take us down that turn. Got it off the soapbox. So we're going to start with Leslie. Before you get into your story, I want to ask you, set us, what is your, what is your sort of your approach to dating. Are you a serial monogamous? Do you jump from long term to long term? Are you a slut? Are you somebody who never dated at all? Like, what is your vibe generally?

I'm like a little bit of everything. Like I never, I loved being single. So I, um, uh, I don't know. I, I had a slutty phase. I had an independent woman. I don't need no man phase. Um, I, so I did it all. This is like the entire Sabrina Carpenter album that you've lived through. Yeah, she's a little slutty. But she's also like, I don't need no man, also very much in love. Like, yeah, you hit it all, all the hits. I embrace every stage of, like, of love. Like, there was a phase where I loved going on dates here and there. Like, I thought it was cute and fun.

And there were dates where I just didn't even look at men. Like, I didn't even think about them. So I'm a little bit of a Sabrina Carpenter. Yeah. I guess the kids would say. You have all the emotions. You have all the approaches. I like that.

But you're in a relationship now. I am. How long have you been in the relationship? It's been three years and we got engaged last year. Congratulations. Thank you. So it's shocking. I'm shocked.

Very quickly, you got to tell us how did you do it? Was it a surprise? Did you cry? It was such a surprise. He was born in Brazil, so he took me to Brazil to meet his family. And obviously when I told my girlfriends that in their minds, they were like, duh, he's going to propose. But my dumb little brain was like, no, we're just going to go have, like, Capadinas and go to the beach. Like, I had no clue because I just never.

I've never been proposed to. I've never had that feeling I just didn't know. So he's a very, he's a very passionate, spontaneous man. So he always knew he wanted to propose to me in general. He just didn't know when, where, or how. In his mind, he was just going to randomly, literally hop the question. And have you talked about, had you talked about it before? Like, about like, hey, I think we're forever. Like, this is, engagement was on the table. You just didn't know the wins or the house. Correct. It was on the table. We had already lived together. So we already agreed, like, one day, let's get married. We should do it. Like, this is what we're aiming for, right? And then it just fell out of my brain. Like, I just forgot

about it. So then we go on this trip, and he decided to do it on the trip. Within the trip, he's like, why am I not doing it here? This is my hometown, like my land. I feel so alive here. And it's so beautiful. Like, we were in Rio. His family was there. Like, he's very, he thinks last minute. He got the ring there. Oh. Like there. He was like, he just decided there. So he did it. We went on a little hike with his family friends. It was like four

of them and then us and then we went to the top of the mountain. And then he got really I had no idea, truly no idea. He was really I don't know, he's all like awkward and nervous but he's always awkward and nervous. I didn't think I think of it. Like he's always cute and weird, whatever. And

he is kind of a big cry baby. He's like very sensitive. So we're, I'm taking photos of him against the backdrop and it looks so beautiful and I didn't even see that the bulky ring was sticking out of his like pocket. Yeah, you were just like, hmm. I was like, oh, look at my, like my hungry Brazilian man. And then I walked up to him to show him. I'm like, like, look how handsome you look with the beautiful, the sunset, like, whatever. And he looks at me and he's just like, bawling. I'm like, is he going to kill me? Like, what is happening? And then he does the whole thing gets down on one knee. And I've never been proposed to. I never thought I would. Like, that's very

dramatic, but I just didn't think I'd ever. You've never conceptualized it. You've never, You weren't a girl who was like imagining that moment in your head. It didn't take up a ton of space in my head. So when it happened, I was in shock that I couldn't speak for one minute. Like one minute and he was just on his knee on a mountain. Is he still sobbing for the one minute? Yes. Probably even harder once we reach 30 seconds of silence, I think.

Yes. So it was an eternity for him. So I was just staring at him. And the first thing I said was, what the fuck? Like it was so mean. I'm not looking back at it. Oh, yeah. Like, he gets on one knee.

His family, like, extended family, they're, like, taking videos, crying, whatever. And I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? And it was so, usually the girl knows. Like, you know, you go to, they trick you. Like, oh, we're going to go, like, have a family picnic. So wear a cute little dress. And there's a photographer. Make sure your nails are, you know.

So what were you wearing? A brown t-shirt. No eyebrows. Oh. Oh, my God. Black leggings. He did you dirty. He did you dead.

Nike shoes messy I was livid I can't imagine There are photos Without the eyebrows How would you How would he even know you were surprised

You know Like there's no way he'd even know you were surprised To be proposed to What the fuck? Yeah exactly It was beautiful Minus all that But like

Okay And so three years with this gentleman Where in your timeline Does your bad story take place So this was in my 30s when I was very single. And I was at the point where I was slowly becoming resigned to like, I could just be alone and just crush it. And which phase would you say you were in? Were you in the slut phase?

The I don't need a man phase. The dating around phase. I want to say it was the I don't need a man phase. But the story will prove otherwise. So I was in. a phase of, have you ever been in a phase in your life where you're like, this is my era of yes. I'm going to say yes to things because clearly nothing had worked for me thus far. So I thought I just got to switch things up, be more open minded, less judgmental, and not

overthink. So I'm going to say yes to new experiences, yes to new people and go with the flow. But the problem with saying yes to everything is that half the shit you say yes to is going to be very bad shit. So I was, I met this guy on him. And part of my saying yes was like, you know, in hinge there is a distance radius that you can set of I'm willing to look for people within 10 miles. Everyone has their own radius and it's fair. But because I was in like this era of yes, I put like let's go maximum.

Wow. Like maximum. Wow. Like to London and back, babe. No. So the maximum on hinge I think is like, it might be like 100 miles. Like, it's not like... Oh, so yeah.

Joel's still like, oh. Yeah, so you could have ended up with someone in sort of like Temecula. Yeah, yeah. We're talking Tomecula. So I put that because I was really like, if my guy's not in L.A., then he's in Boston. I don't know. And I will go to Boston, whatever. So I met this gentleman, super cute, handsome guy, and he lived in a place.

This is in California called Loma Linda. Loma Linda. Loma Linda. It is in San Bernardino County. San Bernardino from L.A. is fully two-hour drive. Which direction are we talking? Straight east from L.A. Okay, because I used to live in Monterey Park.

So it's beyond Monterey. This podcast has now descended into being the L.A. Geography podcast. Like, do you take the 10 there? How far do you take the 305? Sorry to make it so specific. But, you know, listeners. So two hours away. Yes, listeners look it up and that's an eternity.

But in my era of yes, I was like, if my soulmate lives in Loma Linda, then so be it. Loma Linda is where I will go. So we were chatting and we had a ton in common and he was like in my eyes perfect for me. We're the same age and he had like a young energetic spirit, all this stuff. And it was reaching the phase of we've been chatting enough and we were talking about when are we going to meet, how are we going to meet, what's going to be the first date. And this was like December. So our conversations led up to the week of Christmas. So we were both kind of toying with the idea of like, wouldn't it be so crazy if we just had a first date on Christmas?

Like, has that ever been fun? Psychopathic. Okay. So, I'm sorry. Is this a safe space or not? Just is correct. Listen, no, you're safe physically, but unfortunately. But not from yourself, clearly.

No. So, wait. So where are your, where is your family in all of this? This is an important detail. I live in L.A. My family lives in Orange County, which is also an hour from L.A. And I go there constantly to see them. The reddest part of L.A., full of Asians. Yes. Another magical place.

So during Christmas, I always go to Orange County. And I don't have any kids. And nearly all my friends do. So if you're like an adult with no kids and single, you might be super available on Christmas. Like I usually go, I have a super small family in Orange County. We don't have any tradition. We just lounge. We don't do anything. I understand this.

I have stayed in L.A. for Christmas a couple of times because I don't, I don't vibe with my family. And going out the night before Christmas Eve in L.A. is one of the darkest. Like, it's literally everyone who's estranged from their family just in one bar. Yeah. The energy is electric. Yeah. I've done it.

It's kind of lovely. Like this is where I am at right now in my life. And I'm all for embracing it. Also being alone can be lovely during the holidays. Very peaceful. Very peaceful. So, you know, and this guy did not have kids and his family was not local. And he decided not to travel during Christmas, like logical, you know.

So people like him and I are just really down to fuck. This is what that week is. Absolutely. And so I, we end up committing to saying, let's just hang out on Christmas. Like, you're around, I'm around, you know, we have no crazy plans. And I started to, like, really romanticize this date. I'm not even a big Christmas person. Like, I'm, like, mildly indifferent to it.

No, but it is like a, it is one of those things where if the date goes well, then it's iconic you had it on Christmas. Like, that's an incredible memory. If the date goes poorly, then you've, then I'm sharing it on a podcast called Bad Dates. You've ruined Christmas, yeah. If it goes poorly, I'm on bad dates with Joel Kambuster. Exactly. Bad dates. Dates.

I still go to Orange County with my family the week of Christmas, as I always do. But then I'm not thinking far ahead enough. The day of Christmas arrives and I have to tell my parents where I'm going. Because I'm staying with my parents and I'm like, I can't lie to them. This isn't high school anymore. Like I used to lie to them every day in high school. I would lie. I would go to a punk rock show

and tell them I'm going to like an SAT studying party. I would lie, lie, lie. I'm like, dude, you got to just come clean with your parents. And I... You're 35 years old. I'm mid-30s.

So I already have so much shame. I'm like, I can't lie to my parents about this stupid date. So before I tell them about the date, I have to tell them about hinge. Oh, no. So you're like, so the internet was created by Al Gore.

And from there. Yeah. I'm like, so mom, you know how our generation is very lonely, bored, and horny and busy? So there's this thing on your phone where you can just see lonely singles near you. And she's like mortified. Yeah. And I have, it seems like a tool serial killers were elated by. She's mortified.

I'm showing her this app and I'm showing her his profile just to really try to make her comfortable, I guess. But I'm clearly like projected my own like fear about it. So I'm like showing her like his photo. like our conversations. Like, see, he's funny. And she's like, what the fuck is going on? And she's like, you're going to his house? Because, okay, so the date, we, it's Christmas Day.

Nothing's really open. Nothing is in La Malinda, but houses. You're going to cats is for sure. Yeah. So the plan was to just chill at his house, like movie night at his house in Loma Linda. And it's like, what are we going to do? Hang out of a gas station. It's Christmas Day.

I'm so scared for you right now. And I again, romanticize this date because I thought, you know, everyone's home on Christmas. It's cozy. I'd love a cozy couch, you know, hang out. So she was, my, my brave, poor smart mom just had to resign to the fact that she could not stop me. Like, what is she going to put me in jail? Like, she goes, I, okay, fine. Like, I guess go, I can't stop you.

And also, I hopefully he's a nice man, whatever. So I'm shocked that they let me do this. But I had to, they were okay with it. And I'm, we didn't really make any crazy plans. It was kind of always framed as like, you know, like, you know, cozy, cuttly cute movie night. Netflix and chill, literally. Netflix and chill, whatever. And it's, it's quite the mind fuck because it's first date, which is you want to feel cuteish, but then it's also someone's house.

So you don't want to be widely over dress. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's Christmas. So it's like, do I, you know. Do you get festive? Yeah. So then I end up wearing like an urban outfiters like a cotton mob jubes. like a cotton mob jumper.

Like I was like, this is perfectly like low key. It was so stupid. So I drive to Loma Linda wherever that is and I get to Loma Linda and he is fully wearing sweatpants. And I'm like, okay, like I get it, but I'm like

Like Valenciaaga sort of like elevated brand. Under, not elevated. No. These were like understatement like grab them out of the hamper. Kirkland. situation. So we get there. I mean, never like, we never discussed dinner. And in my mind,

I'm like, well, there must be something to eat. Like, he's my age too. Like, and I also thought, like, I like that he had a house in L. Melinda and in the suburbs. And like, it felt very adult and mature rather than, you know, something in L.A. And then we got there not a bite, not a crumb in sight, like nothing. And I'm not starving, but I'm like, I could have something. And And instead of, like, giving me, like, one piece of cheese, he made us smoothies. Mm. Like, he made us, because we had been, like, texting about smoothies and our love for smoothies. And I'm in a sad way romanticizing how much we have in common.

I'm like, I love smoothies. Fucking this guy loves smoothies. The, like, the strong foundation of smoothies is what got you on the day. I'm like, no other man, love smoothies. Like, I love smooth. And I'm just, like, really. So he thinks he's, I guess, being like really suave and made us smoothies. And it was, they were good smoothies.

Tough words to put together. Swave and smoothie. Swab smoothies. But like we're hanging out there. And I also, he didn't reveal this to me. I don't think. But he did have a roommate. So him and his roommate, another guy around his age, just rented this house.

So it was becoming slowly less, you know, adults and magical. Because if you're going to live in Loma Linda, own a house in Loma Linda. But then you just have a room. You can see the credit score dropping in real time. Yes. I love how we're just shitting on Loma Linda. Also, it's a lovely place. It's in something called a blue zone, which people can look up.

It's one of the health. There's five blue zones in the world. It's one of the healthiest places ever where people live the longest. Because they drink smoothies. See, people are learning so much about L.A. today. I love it. So look up Loma Linda.

I'm sure it's a great place to live. But we just, we don't, nothing about it is nice or romantic. romantic or feels first date at all. And we end up watching some action movie, which I wish I remember what the action movie was, but I want to say it was like expendables. It was so like... I mean, that is a movie. It is technically a film.

And we just, and I'm like, you couldn't like, it's like Christmas Day. We couldn't like compromise and do die hard. We couldn't like split the difference. Yeah, yeah. Like we're straight. It was like some ridiculous movie. I was so not turned on, whatever. And we're hanging out.

And the entire time I'm texting my mom. because she asked me to text her while I'm there, which is fair. So like every other 30 minutes, I'm like, I'm good, I'm good, no worries. Expendables is on. Like, everything is fine. And at some point, I meet his roommate. Like, his roommate is around. And his roommate is really nice.

But when the hinge guy told him I did stand up, the roommate put it together. And he was like, oh, yeah. Oh, I know you. Oh, my God. He's like, I recognize you. Leslie, oh, holy shit. And he's really cool and nice, but I'm like, I don't want to do this right now. No, yeah.

This is like when I get recognized at an orgy. It's like time and place, guys. Like, I just want to be a body in the space right now. I don't want to. It's like the one moment, like, I don't want to be seen right now. And he's like, oh, yeah, like, aren't you the girl who like shits on men and your stand-up of a stuff? And like, the ginger guy's like, what? Like, so sadly, I wish it had a better ending, but like we hang out the entire night at his place.

And I definitely have sex with him. And may I defend myself? And then you were like, to the roommate, who hates men now? Okay? I'm not shitting on men. I'm sitting on men. That was charitable work for men. Now looking back, like the roommate kind of would have been in on it just to make me be like, you know what?

Oh, you think I hate men? I'm going to, I'm going to fuck him right now. And then I'm going to fuck you two. And you can walk. And you can come, come walk. But I, once I, you know, I went on that date. leading with my emotions being like this could be amazing. This could be an amazing story, an amazing first date.

But once I got there, I became very logical. And I thought with data and numbers, and I thought, if I drove to Loma Linda, I might as well get some. You know what I mean? The smoothie wasn't worth the drive. The movie wasn't worth the drive. Was the sex worth the drive? At the time, yes, but looking back, no. You know what I mean?

I don't want to be mean to the guy. He's great. Super handsome. I'm sure he has a lot going on, whatever. But, you know, like, I thought I have to get something out of this situation. No, I fully understand. So then I did that. And then I thought, I can't sleep here.

It's Christmas night. And it's the first date. And I didn't bring stuff. And also my mom is like home being like, please God, give me my daughter on Christmas night. She has produced half a Netflix documentary series about your disappearance at this point. The rights are already sold. And it's like, I must. return home to mother.

That was weirdly the first thing I thought of after I finished having sex. Mother. So I was like, Mom. So like, I just looked at him. I was like, I have to go home, you know? And he was like, yeah, I get it. Cool. And I was like, Merry Christmas.

And then I just drove home alone, like midnight Christmas, like looking into the stars. I love to imagine that someday in your future soon, you will be stuck in a Christmas. Carol-esque situation where with the ghost of Christmas past, you are standing in that room, watching you have sex with this man, and then just sort of despondently going, Merry Christmas. And the lesson. So wait, Leslie, really quickly, what is the lesson that you learned from this experience that you've taken with you into now a very successful relationship? Hope for nothing. Hope for nothing. Hope for nothing. Keep that bar on the ground.

Keep it on the ground. Keep it on the ground. Bad dates. Now turning to Jess Henwick. Jess, same question to you as to Leslie. What is your dating style? Oh, my dating style? I think I've, I too have been all over the place.

You know, I feel really happy with where I am now, which is like slow and steady. I no longer I'm into the sort of hot and heavy, super fast dating. Let's move in after three months. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm really actively trying to take it slow, not say things too fast, and just listen to my body as well. Are you currently with someone right now? No, I'm single. And how long have you been single?

A year and a couple months, a year and a half now, me? So would you say, is there like a string of monogamous intense relationships behind you? You were not a casual up until now, since you've changed your mind. You were not a casual girlie. I think I've had. I've had two really long relationships, very, very serious relationships. And in the middle, it was interspersed with the age of 27. And you know, Forever 27 Club.

What a good age. Yeah. Yeah. And it was like, I had like a near-death experience when I was 27, so I went full 27. And so I went a bit crazy. And that was the casual era. It is insane. Just how much, like, I remember being 22 and thinking, I was cooked.

I was like, I'm done. I am, this is the adult that I'm going to be. Like, I'm fully self-actualized. And then, like, you get to 27. And those three years from 27 to 30, it is like, I was like three different people in that time. Yeah, total chemical, biological change. Yes, everything changes. Yes.

Okay. So, long-term sandwich with a little bit of crazy for the filling. Love that for you. Where in your timeline does the story take place? Please let it be during the crazy time. Look, okay, I was 19. Okay. I hadn't dated since I was 17.

Okay. Because I was just so work, work, work, work, work, very focused. And I was in the phase where I was almost afraid of dating at this stage. It was, I was building it up to this to be this big thing. Oh, you were making it too much of a thing. Yeah, like, I was out with my friend and she was like, you should need to rip the band-aid off. Just go out. with someone tonight.

It is like you were re-vergined, you know? And then suddenly, like, when you haven't had sex, it's like the first time you're like, it has to be this, that, and the other thing. And it's like, just get it out of the way. And then like you can work on it down the road. And that was what she said to me. And we were at this bar. And I said, well, no one ever comes up and hits on me.

Like, that doesn't happen. That is crazy. Guys, turn the cameras on her right now. This is insane. Everybody check out the video version of this podcast. on YouTube to see how insane that sentence was. But it was true. I mean, no one ever did that.

And this was, I think this predated apps. And so she said, just pick someone in this bar right now and go up to them. And I, because I was 19, picked the bartender. Oh. Rookie mistake. Rookie mistake. First red flag. Don't go for a bartender.

It's problematic because you pick the one person in the bar who is sort of legally obligated to talk to you. Exactly. Exactly. I was so afraid of rejection. I was like, he can't be mean to me. And I went in hot. I was drunk.

Okay. I walk up to the bar and he goes, what will you have? And I go, what do you have back at your place? Oh. What the hell? Wait, wait. That's not rookie. That's not a rookie line.

This is like AP flirting right now. Like you are, you are doing some, that is next level. For a 19 year old too. Yes, but you know what that is? That is me being raised, achievement focused, a lifetime of achievement. And I went, she gave me a goal and I went, must achieve at, you know, no matter the cost. I guess when you say something like that, though, if your energy doesn't match the words. Like if you weren't giving what do you have back at your place energy, then just saying that it's never going to work.

Like I've had guys say things like that to me, but the energy. is very like this and it's like, well then I know you're acting. I know you're acting. Yeah, yeah. No, I went up. I landed it. He immediately cracked up. We get talking and I don't know what my plan was really, but I said, what time do you finish work? And he told me the time and I was like, okay, I'll meet you outside. How long was this conversation? From door to door, from approach to what time do you get off yeah probably five minutes i i mean this is the power of women i truly believe it is this easy for beautiful women anyone just go up to a man and be like what time are you off work well because like i'm sure the thing is is like it's usually harder

it's usually harder i feel to convince someone to have sex with you especially a man with a beautiful woman. And I'm sure he was probably like thinking I like something terrible is about to happen to me because this good thing. Or he did something really great in the last. No, no, no. Yeah. I'm I clear in this story, I am the red flag. I am the walking red flag. Like wants it way too bad, kind of too intense. And this is in the UK by the way. Yes. Okay. So we meet up outside the bar and I'm like, let's let's go have a drink. Let's go. else, you know. And so we go to the first bar and it's slammed and we go to the second bar and it's slammed and we go to the third bar, which is in a hotel. And he doesn't have any

inns at any of these places as a bartender. Strange, right? Yeah. Strange. And we go up to the hostess and we ask if there's a table for two and she starts laughing at us. And she goes, do you know what day it is? And we go, when? And she goes, it's Valentine's Day. Oh! Did you really forget? I forgot. I forgot. You guys were just drunk. You were out. A special holiday edition of bad dates. We've really got to get a Christmas and Valentine's Day. This is incredible. You must release this on Christmas and Valentine's Day. Okay. We did not plan this. We did not plan this. This is so funny. Okay. So you're on this first day on Valentine's Day, with a man I just met. And at this stage, I'm like, it's not working and he's getting more and more

nervous. But I'm just in for a penny, in for a pound. And so. In for a pound. I know that's right. So we decided to get a cab and go back to his place. And as we're getting closer and closer to his place, I sense his nerves are getting worse and worse and worse. And you know what's good for a boner? Nerves. Oh, no. I'm like, why is he so nervous? We get up to the house.

It's a beautiful house. He opens it up. He lives with roommates. I see the lounge. I'm like, few, it's nice. And I go, I don't know why you're so nervous. It's like such a nice apartment. And he goes, I live at the end of the hall.

and he walks, it's a long, and he says it like that. This is so blooper, shit. He says it like that, and we walk down the long white walled hallway, and his door opens into the darkness, and it's like, like I feel like I'm in a horror film. Oh my God. And he flicks the switch on, and it's a bare mattress on the ground. And there is a rectangular indentation in the carpet, a large indentation.

And I immediately am like, what was there? And he reveals to me that basically his girlfriend had just gone on holiday. And he just found out on Facebook that she was engaged to another man in Australia. Okay. And he was like the indentation was our fish, our pet fish tank. I had to sell it because she's not. returning my calls and I think she's marrying this other man and I can't afford to keep the fish on my own. Affords it. What is it? A child? Wait. What are the expenses on a fucking goldfish? The detailing,

like, it's so crazy because you literally were like, I'm going to get something quick, casual, rip the band-aid off and now suddenly you were embroiled in this man's international relationship drama. There's at least two continents involved in this story. Like, that's so And I'm just, it's, well, it turned into a five-hour therapy session where I sat on his bed with him and we just talked about everything that had gone wrong in his relationship. And you are just dry as death valley, the entire time. Like, yeah, gone, gone, any desire gone. And I went back into work the next day and I saw my friend and she was like, how to go. Oh my God.

And I was like, please never speak to me again. I think I'm going to throw up. Now, wait, in this five hour long therapy session, did you get any breakthroughs? Did you help him? That's the real. Campsite rules. Did you leave him better than you found? So the next day, I was at the bar and I saw him.

You went back to the bar. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, guys, I know. Was it like. I was stupid. I was a teenager. Were you kind of like, oh, I'll just see him again. Were you like? Or you just didn't.

It was the local bar where I was living at the time. Wow, which makes your bold move to go up to the bartender even more outrageous because that you do that at a bar abroad. No, no, no, but I was moving the next day. So I was like, this is my last day where this is the bar, which I'm going to. And I go back and he looks like a million bucks. And he's having the best time. And he's so happy to see me. And I do think that that five-hour therapy session did something.

I hope. I hope we're not watching this, but if you are watching this, I hope you're well. Yeah. You know what? It sounds like you really turned it around for him. And you didn't have to use sex to do it. So that's a feat. That is a feat in and of itself. He probably still talks about you. He's still probably talking about the 19-year-old girl who helped me emotionally mature.

I'm sure he's very proudly telling that story. It still was a date. Like you talked. You know, you got to know him. a lot. Did you learn, did you, did you fall like out of the, like, I mean, I got to know things I didn't want to know. No, no. Oh, I see. Yeah, you know. Jess, what did you, what would you say you learned from this experience at the right bold age of 19? Don't date bartenders. Don't day barthenders. Like, I never touched a bartender again. Well, not that I ever have touched a bartender. But yeah, I, I, yeah, you didn't even touch the first one. Yeah. I didn't even get him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, and to our bartender listeners, I would like to say that this is a Jess Henwick, uh, opinion. Indian, Bad Dates, the podcast, Sirius XM Radio, smartless. We're very pro bartenders. Here, it's going to be, I hope you're lucky that I don't know how many bartenders

listen to this because you'd struggle at a bar after this. We're about to find out. Yeah, because millions of views every single, every single week. All the bartenders will be coming for you. I was so offended by your guest last week. Oh my God. I will hear about it. Trust me.

Bad dates. Jess Henwick, Leslie Leow. This has been a really incredible holiday edition of bad dates. Still cannot believe it. And it's been so fun listening to your stories. Leslie, tell the people where they can find you what you're doing these days. All my social media is the same. It's my name but racist.

It's Resri Riao. Okay. Everywhere. And I do, you can say it. And I have a special. It's called Silky Smooth. And it comes out April 28th. Check that out.

It's going to be great. Jess Henwick. Where can people find you? What are you doing these days? You can find me on Instagram at Jay Hennick. I'm most recently on Vladimir on Netflix, but by the time this comes out, it's probably closer to talking about Silo Season 3 on Apple.

Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Cannot wait to see what you get up to down there. It's going to be great. It's a delight. Check it out on Apple TV. Leslie Leow, Jess Henwick.

This has been great. If you liked what you heard, please give us a rating. Five stars only. Remember, I don't read the ones that are less than five stars. I don't take those on. I just simply can't. So please leave us a five-star review

wherever you're listening to this. And we will be back. And we will be back next week with more terrible, bad, no-good dating stories. Bye-bye. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media, created by Robert Cohen,

Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited and engineered by Kyle McGraw. Produced by Anne Harris and Devon Tory Bryan. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Bigman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Music by Cushie and Evan Schledder.

If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3283. That's 984-265-3-22-83. That's all for this week. We will be back for more.