Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - That’s Not The Way! (w/ Cyrus Veyssi, Talia Lichtstein, and Debra DiGiovanni)

Episode Date: January 13, 2025

On a new episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes Cyrus Veyssi, Talia Lichtstein, and Debra DiGiovanni to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Cyrus starts the night by quietly slipping an oyster into a lady’s handbag, Talia engages in some very risky behavior, but hey, her date lives on Waverly Place, just like those wizards, and Debra presents us with a veritable buffet table of bad dates, hookups, kinks, and takeaways. If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it!  Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips. Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates.Tickets for our live show 1/25/25 at SF Sketchfest HERE: https://sched.co/1rbPt Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Cyrus Veyssi: @cyrusveyssi on social media Talia Lichtstein: @talialichtstein on social media Debra DiGiovanni: @debradg on social media for live dates Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes.

Smart, Less, Media live show. That's right, Bad Dates is coming to you live and in person. We're going to be at Cobbs Comedy Club Saturday, January 25th. The lineup is insane. It's going to be so fun. This is my first live show as host of Bad Dates, so it's a very special moment for me. And I hope you will be there to see it. Tickets are available at sfsketchfest.com. See you there. Bad Dates sketchfest.com. See you there. I would say general rule of thumb for most people. If the person you're dating asks you to change your body in any way, in any way, like whether it's gain weight, lose weight, you know, no, no, no. To me, it depends on the bank account.

Hello, hello, hello and welcome to another episode of the Bad Dates podcast. I am your host, Joel Kim Booster. As always, we are here once again with another panel of hilarious guests to walk us through their tales in the trenches. Bad dates, bad hookups, bad relationships. We run the gamut. You know, everybody is welcome here, and we all have our trauma,

and we're here to unearth it for you to make you laugh. Isn't that generous of us? But before I get to that, I do have a little bit of listener advice that I wanted to get to. And this one, you know what? It's usually the women that are writing in with the problems. Because as we all know, usually straight women specifically, because Because as we all know, usually straight women specifically, because, you know, the question we always ask here on the pod is, are straight men okay? And this is an email from a man, but it is still falling under the are straight men okay category.

But I'll just get to it. You'll see. This is from Tommy. Bad dates. I matched with a woman on an app, and when she suggested we go to a local dive bar to get wasted. It sounded like a bold first move and I was into it. I got there when she said to and she was seated at the bar with a schooner of beer in front of her.

She told me she arrived an hour early to pre-party. Obviously red flag, but then when your date is hot you overlook that shit. She dared me to match her shot for shot and I took the L when the room started spinning. Here comes the hotness question. At one point she looks like she's going to be sick, then fills the empty schooner with puke. Instead of getting rid of it, she slides it down the bar like in an old west vomitorium where it would be someone else's problem. I put her in an Uber after that and she's been texting me. My question is, is there a level of hot

that could allow me to overlook the obvious bar flight issues I saw? So here's the thing, Tommy, that you have to ask. This is the question you have to ask yourself is, is this woman hot enough to become your project? Okay, because obviously she's at a point in her life when she is not ready for you, Tommy. She's not ready for you. She's ready for another drink. But if she's hot enough,

okay? And clearly she's so hot that she's been getting away with this behavior for I don't even know how long. But there is a chance where you could invest your time and energy, live through this period of her life, because we all, you know, some, not all, but a lot of people have gone through the puke into a beer glass and then send it down the bar period of their life. Is she hot enough for you to live through that and then meet her on the other side? If she's not hot enough for that, then I say you cut your losses because unfortunately a project like that is an undertaking unlike, I mean, it's extreme home makeover at this point,

okay, with this woman, okay? There's just too much work to be done, and I just don't know that it's worth it. I don't have pictures in front of me. I don't know what your type is. I barely understand what a hot woman is, okay? So, for you, you have to ask yourself that question if you're ready to take on a project.

But before I get to the rest of the meat of the podcast, I did wanna bring in our wonderful guests. They might have some things to weigh in on as well, but if you have a question or a concern or a story that you wanna share with us, please, please, please email us at baddatespod at gmail.com. I promise you I will show you the same amount of respect that I just showed Tommy in his story.

So let's get I'm so excited about this panel, you guys. We really have a good one today. The first comic up I've known her for years. She is truly one of the funniest people in North America. I'm going to say it. I'm going to include Canada, and I'm going to include Mexico, and I'm including the states here, people.

She's one of the funniest people. And if you're a comic, you know that. This person has been on Comedy Central. She has a new album called Honorable Intentions. It is Deborah DG Avani. Welcome, Deborah. Thank you. So good to see your face as OA. She has a new album called Honorable Intentions. It is Deborah DG Avani. Welcome Deborah. Thank you.

So good to see your face as always. This next person is a beauty and wellness creator and social media star. They are one of the new hosts of the show Influenced on Amazon Prime, which is so cool. Please give it up for Sirus Vasi everybody. Hello, hello, hello. Thanks for having me. A full beauty influencer.

How is the filter doing on my face right now? It's fabulous. And you know what, if you have issues, they have filters for that now embedded in Zoom. So you should- Oh my God. I will, you know what, I recently cut out sugar and I gotta say it's done wonders.

I'm seeing an even tone. I love it. Gorgeous. It's done real wonders for'm seeing an even tone. I love it. Gorgeous. Real wonders for me. Okay, moving on. You know her for her funny and painfully honest videos on TikTok where she inspired the trend, spread negativity. She hosts the show, Bad Vibes and The Influence.

Please give it up for Talia Lixstein, everybody. Thanks for having me. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Folks, what are we thinking here? Is there a level of hotness that can get you over the hump of witnessing a person vomit into a beer glass and then shoot it down the bar? Absolutely not.

In a sort of not my problem anymore situation. That's an immediate no for you, Debra. Absolutely not. I don't care who you are. I don't care if you're a combination of every hot man that's ever lived. Every Chris in Hollywood. There's no way. I have a vomit phobia though, I have to tell you. I do have a vomit phobia. If I saw this, I would maybe murder that person and then there's a whole new world would get too real. Okay, two then, two adjustment questions.

Let's say they piss themselves. Does that change things for you? It does change things. Okay. How quickly? How quickly, you see? You know? If Chris Evans pissed himself in front of you,

game on. We'd get him out of those wet pants first though. Chris Evans pissed himself in front of you. Game on. We talked about it. Talk about it. I'd say do it again. We'd get him out of those wet pants first though. Do you know what I mean? But can we give credit where credit is due? We can. Sliding the drink down the bar, Old West style.

Maybe there's not a hotness barometer. Is there a creativity? I think there is a coolness to that. I think there is a coolness to that. And I can, I'm just like, I'm also thinking about the sound effects. I just like off screen, crashing, wet, slurpy, you know, it's just like, there is, like she is like,

she's Bugs Bunny in that moment, you know, like she is. Is it like, I've never had beer. Is it like a vase for a drink? It's a, you know what? I actually don't even know vase for a drink? It's a, I, you know what? I actually don't even know if I'm saying schooner right. I'm not sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay.

I can't get into all that. It's like a big mug. It's like a big mug. It's a gigantic mug, a great Canadian mug. It's very good. I just learned how to pronounce draft. Yeah. Yeah.

Bad dates. Bad dates. Bad dates. Bad dates. Bad dates. Bad dates. Bad dates. Bad dates. Bad dates. Bad dates. Bad dates. I'm really interested to hear, Cirrus, what you have brought to the table today. Now, give us a little context.

Yes, a little context. I want to know where you're at now. Are you dating men, women? Does it matter? Yes. Are you a slut? What is the T? I am a homosexual and I identify as non-binary.

So I think for me, you know, dating... And I am... I was a twink and then I turned 30. And we've sort of transitioned into a bit of a twink. Am recovering. It's very traumatic. We can do a whole episode about that. I am with a lovely boyfriend. His name is ****. He is so sweet. He's made a little short little Italian Irish man. Yeah. Bleep it.

Oh, anytime I say... We don't want them knowing. OK. Yeah, I was going to say also, anytime I say man, you can bleep that too. Because I've painted a lot of like shitty men in the past. But I would say like, so **** I met after many years. I was 25 at the time we met at men in the past. But I would say like, so I met after many years, I was 25 at the time we met at SoulCycle. It was one of those stories. Oh my God.

Oh yeah. I left my glasses in the studio and I get a DM and I thought it was a dick pic, but it was a selfie of him wearing my glasses. You know what I mean? It was a very- Oh, cute. That's cute. But I had shit fucking luck before,

because when I came out, I was in New York, I was just sort of like living my party self, and I have severe IBS. So all of these things when I would go out and meet guys, I was always really nervous about. So I have this one story that sort of encapsulates my entire dating life. So at the time, I think I was 23, I, you know, everybody in New York was like, you got to

find a sugar daddy. You got to find a sugar daddy. And I was like, you know what? Why not? I was like, sure. So I started to go on dates and I was introduced to this. Let's call him the old wise man. He was probably, yeah, yeah, very. Okay. So he was the old wise man. The old wise man. He was probably only. Yeah, yeah, very. So he was the old wise man, reached out and he said, you know, I wanna take you out and I wanna have this whole night. I have this whole plan. I'm gonna go to a restaurant

and then we have a thing after. So I was like, I have no idea. He was like, I'm just gonna keep it a surprise. And at the time I was very bashful and I didn't wanna be like, here are my food restrictions. You know what I mean? I was like, just take it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And especially like if sex is on the table afterwards, you don't want to be putting that in someone's mind. You don't want to like, yeah. Oh, 100%. I was like, I'll just have a miso soup. You know what I mean? Like I would get something light, something very like watery.

I just need something. But I was like, wherever, I was like, wherever we go, I'll find something. It's fine. So then we, so I get this address and it's in downtown Manhattan. And the only thing in my mind, I kept like, wherever we go, I'll find something, it's fine. So then we, so I get this address and it's in downtown Manhattan. And the only thing, in my mind I kept going, okay, as long as even if he picks like a seafood place,

because I'm allergic to seafood, my stomach goes and I get an allergic reaction. So as long as it's seafood, we're fine. He chose a seafood only Michelin restaurant to wine and dine me. Now in his mind, he's thinking, I'm the shit. In my mind, I'm thinking, I'm gonna shit. Like, I was like, and I can't, and I was like,

I can't do anything about this now. So we show up, now get this. So I go in my mind, I go, serious, just sit. So they give us like the most, the night, he knows the owner. So it's like, he's really trying to wine and dine me. So we sit down. Is it like a tasting menu tasting menus sort of like you need another meal afterwards. Yeah. And it's very like no substitutions. It's like, yeah, so then I'm like, fuck.

So then, OK, so then a few things happen that just made this the worst night of my life. So we went to work having and then what happened was they would bring out a dish and then I would sort of like have a little bite. And he was really sweet and I felt bad. But then I couldn't really finish it. And then they kept bringing out extra dishes, right? Because it was like, they really tried to. So an oyster came out and I sort of, you know,

we're chatting and he looks away. So I sort of just slipped it under the table. You guys, it was the worst thing I've ever done. It fell into a woman's bag. Oh no! Fell into a woman's bag. So I've noticed that this has happened, and he's just, again, he's sort of talking about, like, finance and numbers.

And I'm just sort of like, I need to take this oyster out of this woman's, like, Loro Piana bag. So then I sort of like lean down to the table, and I literally scoop the oyster, and I look to make sure there's nothing else going on. I don't know how he missed this, put it out the side, I'm like, whatever, oh my God, this date is what.

Then they bring something out and I eat it. And then in about five minutes, my stomach has turned. So I'm like, okay, this is now starting to get really bad. We were on these chairs that were wooden. So I remember you could sort of tip really easily. And I, you guys, I had to fart. So then what I did was I sort of just, I sort of caught up and I tipped. I sh-

That's the way. No! I sh- That's not the way! No. And the way that I, no, no. The way that I knew, the way that I knew was because there was, you know, you know the,

I don't know if you ever shit yourself, but I was like, there is this little bit of like a, a wetness. So then I go and I have to excuse myself. So I leave. So I go to the bathroom and I throw away my underwear and I get my pants back on. Sorry, this is a safe space now. So we're talking. So then I come back out. He thinks this date is going so great. And he said, and he said, and he had this situation that he wanted to take me to after. Meanwhile, I'm new to New York. He goes, we're gonna go to this place called The Box.

So I don't know what The Box is, and it's like this, have you guys ever been? It is- What year is this? Oh my God, this is in, yeah, this is in 2019. So this is when they would like still- Okay, I just missed The Box, yeah. This is like when they would like still, this is like when they would like fuck on stage and like do

the craziest things. Pink Pong's out of the pussy. Pink Pong's out of the pussy. So this is where he wants to tell me, show me that he's sort of like young and hip. And anyway, so the round out of this whole story is I am, I'm in this box I'm at, I'm at where he had this sort of table, he invited friends.

And then I was like, I went to the bathroom and at the box, I went into, there was this woman and I go up to her and I just, I don't know what it was. I was like, do you have any Pepto? And she looks back at me and she goes, bitch, I'm not a klepto. And I was like, no, no, no. Cause it was so loud.

I was like Pepto. And she was like, oh my God, yes. She had Pepto. So she gives me two tablets of Pepto and a lip gloss. I will never forget this because it was the first time that I was ever introduced to the Juicy Tubes from Longcomb, incredible. Put that on, go back to this table.

And after five minutes, I was like, sir, I have to leave. And he was like, no, stay, we have plans after. I was like, sir, I have to leave. And he was like, no, stay. We have plans after I was like, quite literally in my mind, I was like, I'm going, I'm just, I'm going to die at the box. And if I die here, drag my body to Soho house. Do not tell them that I died at the box. In fact, at the box, you'd probably, yeah. I tell them I was on a flight. I was in Delta one. Tell them something better. So anyway, so I went home, he reached out,

I said, this is just not a match, I'm so sorry. And then in my mind, I kept thinking to myself, I was like, why did I listen to so many people tell me about these sort of older sugar daddies in these situations and I truly like never was able to like articulate what I wanted? And this was the antithesis of what I wanted, I never spoke up for my dietary restrictions.

So I literally remembered the next date I had, I said, Italian or Japanese food is like my go-to because I know my stomach is, anyway, long story short. You're a know your body girl. You're a know your body girl. I know my body. I would say like that was, I had many a dates with older men

that were in this sort of an era until I realized that maybe my priorities had shifted a bit. So this was the worst fucking date that I'd been on. It was not his fault to be fair. Old wise man really planned well, but it was a moment where it clicked. It was like, oh no, I have agency to do what I want. Do you know what I mean?

I don't need to be shitting in. To shit where you need to shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't need to be in like a Michelin restaurant in the low, like, you know, Soho, I'm good. I have a great time. I wanna see you be brave. Yeah.

Yeah. So that was my worst date. I have a question for you though, Severs. Like if you hadn't shit, if you didn't, if he took you to an Italian restaurant, say, do you think the date, do you think there was a future for you with this man? Or was it the shit was just a hat on a hat of a bad date?

I think it was the hat on the hat. I think it was a fucking like Abraham Lincoln hat on top of the pile of shit. I think the last time I shit my pants, I had to ditch my underwear in an Acela bathroom. So listen, you know, I've been there. I've been there sister. Oh, Acela, not a Tesla. I was going to say there's no bathrooms in a Tesla. Okay. Oh yeah. On the train, girl on the train. Um, it was, listen, I love to drink out of rivers and streams, which is of course one of the many

ways you can get together. But that's how you get giardia. Yeah. One last personal question about **** before we move on. Is he a wise old man? Is he... What did you end up with after this lesson? He's a little bit older.

I sort of joke with him. He's like three or four years older. I say, you're the youngest person I've ever dated. Do you know what I mean? He is what he lacks in height, he makes up for in wisdom. So I would say sort of the short, oldish man. You went from Gandalf the Grey to Bilbo back in Sweden.

I have to leave. Goodbye. Thank you so much. No, I really did. I have to leave. Goodbye, thank you so much. Thank you, bye. No, I really did, I really did. Yes. Bad dates. Bad dates.

Really excited to hear from this lady now. Talia, where are you at now relationship wise? Where were you at before? Where the story takes place? Were you a serial monogamous? Were you a serial dater? What was your style? What was your vibe?

Okay, well first of all, after hearing this, I'm so glad that I chose this story. My second choice was obviously, everyone has a bad bowel story with a date. Oh, absolutely. I'm on Ozempic as of recently, so like they've all been bad bowel movement dates and I'm glad that we got that in the episode so I can tell this one. So this takes place,

I'm going to take you back to 2017 which was a special time. Oh yeah, like we're in the middle of Trump. Everything is, I'm in the beginning of college. I'm a freshman in college. I lost my virginity. I hate you, but keep going. Keep going. And I lost my virginity that Halloween, my first Halloween in college. What were you dressed as?

I was dressed as a cowgirl, obviously. Obviously. And I, and I wrote it, baby. Yeah, you did. And I, I was very... What was he dressed as? Do you remember? He didn't wear a costume the fucking dick. Oh.

I said, come on. Oh. Because he got kicked out of school later. He punched somebody. Oh, well, that's, and that's, of course he did. And I went to UC Berkeley, and you can't do that there. You can't punch people there. So I...

It's a whimsical place, yeah. So it was special. And not wearing a costume also at a place like that, it was, he didn't fit in. I think he went to like Atlanta after that or something. Yeah, go to Arizona, bitch, if that's what you wanna do. Yeah, exactly, exactly. No, exactly. So I lost my virginity that Halloween,

and I was like most, like slightly overweight, very insecure freshmen girls in college who just lost their virginity. I was really excited about this new form of validation. I was kind of walking around like, why isn't everybody always doing this all the time? It was like, it was a new drug to me, was having sex. I don't think I had ever had an orgasm at that point.

I'm dating and hooking up with frat boys. I'm 19. But yeah, they don't know. So fun. They don't know. So I'm just I'm fucking everything that moves. And I got really bold in this season of my life. And what was the other question you asked if I'm single now? I don't know. Honestly, I just had a guy visit me. I went on a first date with him in LA a couple of weeks ago. So for a second date, naturally he flew here. And came to LA and came here. And so that's what the current situation is. Wow. Well, it turns out that Talia really learned

how to do things. She's good at it. If she got men flying to LA, cross country for her. And on the topic of flying, that brings me to my story. Excellent. Excellent. So as I was saying, I got very bold freshman year after I lost my virginity.

And I just walked around feeling like I could fuck anything, not really realizing that the reason I got what I felt like was everybody I wanted was because I was a slutty, very insecure freshman in college and I would throw myself at anybody who made me feel pretty. You know? So easy target.

Your producer put it beautifully when I explained this story to him and I'm gonna steal this. I want you to think of a viral sensation of 2017, like the Huk Tua of the time. Like it was just like this like really big moment. I'm going to say I could be wrong, but I feel like we're in flash mob territory and I feel like we're in, yeah, I feel like we're in like that Bruno Mars song, like I want to marry you, like everyone doing a flash mob engagement to that song.

Yeah, that's where I'm thinking we're at, but I could be wrong. I think we're about around there. I wish I could say exactly what this is, but I don't have the money for like a lawsuit. But I don't wanna like reveal anything. Everything I'm gonna say is true, but I just don't wanna deal with a lawyer right now.

So I can tell you guys after recording, but it was a very prominent viral sensation that was everyone in the freshman year dining hall, this is the topic of the film. It's Scarlett Takes a Tumble. It's Scarlett Takes a Tumble, it's exactly that. This was like Taylor and Travis of the moment, okay? So there's this viral sensation

and he happens to be Jewish, single, 30 something. That's my little target demo, okay? So I've been recently- That's marriage material, yeah. Exactly, and I being recently confident, I tweet at him. Now he tweets back and usually like internet stars when a hot young college girl tweets, hot tip, they do respond, but you shouldn't respond to that.

So he responded and we wound up talking and time goes by and soon enough I have a ticket to go and fly to him for a weekend in New York City. And I'm going to leave my college campus at 19 and meet this 33 year old celebrity in New York City. Your face, I know, I know. I know. But at the time it was more like a, like this was, nobody was thinking,

this was a different era. It's 2017. Nobody's thinking about that right now. Now are we talking, did he fly you Delta One? Are you in like Comfort Plus? My first question, thank you. JetBlue, Basic, Fair, Basic. Not even Mint? Wow. Mm-mm, 24th Roving. Not even mint. 24th Roe V. Not even mint. Okay. Okay.

I had the whole aisle to myself, but I did have to take the train to the airport. Okay. So I pack my bag. First, before any of this happens, I sell off the last of my Adderall to every sorority girl. Sure. I sell off the last of my Adderall to every sorority girl. I go, I had a debit card linked to my parents' account and I couldn't be like walking around New York City and they're asking me, why are you not in Berkeley girl?

So I sold everything so I can make a couple hundred bucks cash and then I got, I packed a bag, rolled that carry on onto campus, went to my 8 a.m. discussion, and then went to the SFO, to the San Francisco Airport. It is insane. I'm so sorry. It is insane you were not trafficked. I'm sorry.

I was gonna say. It's just like. It's insane. Just wait. Oh. It gets so much worse. As soon as I land at JFK, I'm thinking like, if this plane crashes, my parents

will never know where I am, where I was going. Like it occurred to me on the plane while I was watching Alvin and the Chipmunks. Okay. I'm like, wait, if I die, they don't know where I am. I told them I was on a camping trip with a frat so that they just wouldn't bug me the weekend that I was there. You went on a camping trip with a frat so that they just wouldn't bug me the weekend You went on a camping like they do I'm sorry your parents felt better about you going on a camping trip with a frat Okay, now I know and by the way, I never explicitly talked to my parents about this So shout out to mom and dad if you're listening this didn't happen And I think that they would be more psyched that I went out with an eligible Jewish man with money. I don't know why I told them about the frat thing,

thinking that that was better, but I lied so that they wouldn't bug me. So I find myself on the plane, we land. I am so young, and this is my first time ever traveling alone into a city like New York. I did almost get trafficked. One of those creepy guys came up to me in the airport and asked if I wanted to get in his taxi.

And asked if you wanted a ride, yeah. And I followed him until I went to the car and I was like, this is an unmarked car. I'm gonna go. And just to give you an idea of how young I was, I mean, it's ridiculous. Thank God you had the, I mean, you didn't get into Berkeley for nothing. You were a smart-ish girl. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Thank God you had the, I mean, you didn't get into Berkeley for nothing.

You were a smart girl. Yeah, it's true. You know. No, I was a smart cookie. I don't know how I'm not dead. Cause this, I didn't learn my lesson from this story, but I'll continue. I get, I remember changing in the airport bathroom at JFK

into something sexy, putting on makeup, getting into a cab, a real cab, and arriving at his place. I vividly remember getting there. He lived across from the Van Luen in the West Village. And I get there. And I was psyched that he was on Waverly Place because hello, Wizards of Waverly Place. You are a child.

Oh my God. I was a child, oh my God. I was a child. I get in there and he, I remember lugging the bag up his five-floor walk-up myself, getting to his door and having sex within three minutes. Okay. I get on, I hate to body shame, but this guy was the closest thing to a pedophile, so whatever. I get on my knees, it's pitch black, and he puts something in my mouth that I thought was his finger.

It wasn't his finger. And that's the story of how I spent a weekend with him. We wound up, the rest is a blur. We went to a bar mitzvah, he was hired to attend. He was paid to go to a bar mitzvah because he was hired to attend. No. He was paid to go to a bar mitzvah because he was a viral since then. Think like Mr. Reese. I forgot, I forgot, I forgot, I forgot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they hired him to show off. Well, I think I know. You might, you might. Okay, continue, continue, I think I know. But then the important thing was years go by and we stayed in touch until my frontal lobe kind of finished cooking and I was like,

it's bad. I should never have met this person. It's really bad that I went out with someone like this. I started to think about, I started to have the reaction that was the correct reaction that you guys are having on this call. It's not funny anymore. I did return to my college like a war hero.

I walked into the dining hall and people are clapping. Oh my god. I was famous. It's like Rudy. It's like the end of Rudy. You're being carried around campus. Oh my god. Yes.

I was a star. Are you fucking kidding me? I went through all of college and people are asking me about this story. Freshmen come into the school and they're like, are you the girl? It was my thing. And it was, in a way I'm glad it happened

because it set me up. I wanted to be like a storyteller and this was one of these crazy things that I love being able to tell people. But I grow up and I'm thinking about what am I gonna do after college? And I really liked the lifestyle that this guy was leading in New York City

as like an internet-based viral creator. And now I myself am an internet-based viral creator. When it came time to get a manager, I was still in touch with this guy. He set me up with his manager. I live in New York and he sells t-shirts out of a van, I think. So I stole his life.

Basically, I sucked the soul out of that little finger and I made it my own life. And I guess I have a couple takeaways, but like it really did like inspire me. I was like, I could live this life when I went there for the weekend. I could be hired to show up at Bar Mitzvah. Yeah, I was about to say, you saw him at the Bar Mitzvah

and you said, this can't be that difficult. It can't be that hard. He's making five grand to show up at this fucking party. I could do that. Oh my God. Oh my God. And I came home, went viral and was like, I need a manager.

And now I live that life. And the rest is history. Oh my God. The rest is history. And you did learn so much. It is, I'm sorry, but there are so many details that you shared, I guess only two, but it does make it seem like a big situation. Like you were a young girl that was then placed

in a 19 year old's body, because you were watching Alvin and the chipmunks on the plane. I was just gonna say it. And then got really excited about Waverly Place because of Wizards of Waverly Place. Yeah, that really is, yeah. I'm a child. I mean, because I graduated high school six months earlier.

No, and like he's lucky he wasn't pulling this shit now because the discourse, the age gap discourse would find him. The age gap discourse. Would find him. He's like, I don't tell the story with his name. I mean, I haven't proved to back all this up. There you go. It sounds like life has,

the punishment has fit the crime a little bit for him. So yeah. But you're very funny. You're very charming. I have a feeling that in 10 years, you will not be selling T-shirts down by the river or wherever you are. The river.

Thanks. Thanks. Bad dates. Bad dates. Bad dates. Bad dates. Debra has lived a life, okay? And I know this.

I know this from years of hanging out with her in green rooms at shows. This woman has lived a life. She cannot be contained to one story. So we're going to get a little, like a smorgasbord. A little buffet. A buffet. A little taste.

A little taste of each, of various bad dates that she has been on. I'm gonna tell you this, and I can be honest with you, I have never in my entire life been on a date. I have never had a man say to me, can I take you to dinner? I've never had that in my life. My boyfriends, when I was a young woman,

you know, a teenager young woman, there were always dudes that I was pals with and one day they kissed me. That's literally what it is. I've never had like a seven o'clock, never. So they're not really dates, they're all just weird hookups. We here at Bad Dates, we count hookups as dates. They are dates. I would have no business hosting this podcast otherwise.

So. There was a couple of dudes, some nice friendly hookups. They were like, OK, you know, and then it just and then I found myself getting into this like feeders, dudes that wanted to feed me. No, yeah, it really is that like when you find out, when you find out that you are being fetishized, it's like that scene in Get Out when he finds all the pictures of the friends boyfriends. Oh my god, yeah. And you're like, oh no.

Oh no, oh no, what have I done? And this is it. So I had a couple of dudes that wanted to feed me. Like there was one guy, and I'll tell you this, you know, whatever, the dude that wanted to feed me was- Then take you out on a fucking dinner date and feed you. Exactly, I was going to say, we could do this with napkins and candy. Right, what are they doing? No boo.

No, no. Exactly, feed you a no boo. Bad dates. And then there was one dude, my favorite one was a gentleman who was obsessed with boobs. Like a lot of straight men are obsessed with boobs, but this guy was obsessed with very, very big boobs. Like just not normal. Tickled boobs.

You know what I mean? Like, yes! And this, okay, this is what he wanted. He wanted me to come to his home and be dressed, but just wearing a bra and whatever I'm wearing on the bottom, whatever. And then just do things around the house. Some do the dishes, some light, some light chores

wanted me to make him, feed him dinner, read him. And it was also, this was a mummy. This was a mummy issue, right? Like this was a very specific bra. Like think of the bra that your grandma wore. Did you ever see the old, he wanted that kind of bra. Wanted one that like, do you know what I mean? The old lady bra.

He was gonna put you sit. Yes. And listen to me. Has this man never heard of task rabbit. I feel like this man has never heard of task rabbit before. This is going back into invoicing territory. Oh, right, right. Everybody, where were you in 2018? I needed you all in 2018.

I could have made bank, but this, yeah, this is, and that's what he wanted. And I'm telling you, like, I got very, very close. I got very, very close to going over. But then I was like, I don't know. I don't know now. But, you know, he did, I got a bra out of it. He literally sent me a bra.

Oh my God. Bad dates. So after about two and a half years on the apps of ridiculous, I mean, I had one dude steal money from me, steal money in a way that he was clearing my like change purse. Do you know what I'm saying?

Like, he was sending, you throw your quarters into a jar. He was stealing your sack of joeas? He was stealing your sack of joeas? He was, my laundry money? Like, seriously, it was bad. Oh my God. Bad dates. And then I had a girlfriend, a friend of mine say to me,

you need to write down what you're looking for in a man, in a partner. Oh. And she said, she said, have fun, tuck in and really do it. I'm telling you, so this was, and this is my favorite. Okay, so this was September, like September 26, 2019. I sat down and I wrote out the list of what I want in a partner, everything. She said, get, get, you know, um, get granular, get granular. Really?

Like, what do you want to stick to look like? What do you want all of this? Like every, I wrote three pages of all of this September. And that's just the dick, right? Oh, that's exactly, exactly. Couple of volumes of just the penis. But then I did that. I put it down. I walked away from that list,

and then the pandemic starts, we're all quarantined, and my now partner slid into my DMs on Instagram and was like, hey, I've been a fan for a while, blah, blah, blah, and then we just started chatting. And trust me when I say, months pass, months pass, I'm cleaning my apartment, Talia, cleaning my apartment. Find the notebook. You summoned him. I'm cleaning my apartment, Talia. Cleaning my apartment. You summoned him.

I literally summoned him. I'm telling you, I conjured him. I went back, I looked at the list and I was like, oh my god. It is so accurate, it's alarming. I'm not kidding. I would love it if he was like six two, or he's six four. If he's 10 years younger than me, he's 12 years younger than me.

I'd love it if he was European, he's Italian. I love fucked up teeth. His teeth are a little fucked up. He was an artist. He's an artist. Like, I'm not joking. Like, it is just bang, bang, bang. It is... It's scary. How much? I had... I forgot about it. I did the same thing. I put it down, and here he is. The only thing I forgot to put in the towel was money.

I didn't put money. See, I think I forgot. The only thing I forgot. And let tell you was money. I didn't put money. See, I think I forgot. The only thing I forgot. And let me tell you kids, add money. Add money. You couldn't have added a little asterisk when you saw the DM. Can I add it now? Can I go back in and add it now?

I mean, come on. I'm a firm believer of these lists. I made a list, like roughly two months before I met my fiance. And I only had three things on my list. Yeah. I had, I wanted him to be attractive. I wanted him to be able to,

I did not want him to be in the industry. And I wanted him, this is sort of a catch all, but I was like within 15 minutes of meeting him, I don't want him to bring up how disgusting he thinks homeless people are. And that is a tall order in LA. And that is like a catch all for kindness and social awareness. But like he he he fit the bill.

It's the dates, the texting, all the rules about the texting. Throw that away. The person that you're supposed to be with wants to text you. They want to text you back. 100%. They want to text you back immediately. They can't wait to talk to you again. It has been over four years with my partner

and I have never, ever been left on read for longer than two hours. Ever, ever. Especially, ever. Especially at the beginning. Especially at the beginning. Especially at the beginning. Especially at the beginning. Because like, I will say, my partner does not like to text, but when the first year of our relationship,

boy did he make an effort to text. And now that we're in a relationship, we live together. And then you figure it out later. Exactly. It's different now. But like, the rhythm. Same thing.

But when people are like, he's a bad texter, his text rhythm is just different from mine. Not in the first two months, babe. Not in the first couple months. Absolutely. It's the same energy of being like, there is, what if you, instead of me texting you and not responding, you're like, hey, I have a busy day.

Love you, I can't respond for a few hours. It's just saying it. Just say it. Just tell me. But the whole thing about just the leaving it, not talking for three days, it's garbage. But the whole thing about like just the leaving it, not talking for three days and the blood, it's garbage. It's just waiting and like, yes, and not feeling like you can. You can say another thing now because you don't want to see the sea of blue

on your side of the text message and no white. The right person wants to talk to you. They want to be worried about being annoying. Yes, exactly. Yes. Not worried about. Yes. Not worrying that you are bothering them. Yeah. By texting you, hey, I saw this meme that reminded me of you. You know, like it should be that simple.

That's literally what it should be. So that one, I really I wish I wish all people that are dating and are just stop stop that immediately. Because I really feel like that one is damaging to all people, do you know what I mean? It lets men, just again, let's straight men back badly and it just ruins women's confidence. I mean, we just had Casey Wilson on the pod

and she told a story about how she literally put herself medically into a coma so that she would not text the guy for out for the rest of the day. She went to bed early. Oh my gosh. She took sleeping pills to go to bed so that she would take back the power in her own words and not text the guy. And it's like when we've reached that point, and I've done that too. I've done that too. When we've reached that point and I've done that too. I've done that too When we've reached that point, it's over. Yes. I just know her aura ring was going crazy during This has been such a good episode you guys I can't even tell you such a runs a gamut.

I laughed my asses off. Thank you so much, everybody, for joining us today. Debra, tell the people where they can find you. I know you're touring constantly. How can they find out that info? You know what? Best thing is Debra DG. So it's D-E-B-R-A-D-G.

My website, Instagram, those are the places to find me to come see me. So yeah, yeah. I promise you, I swear to you, if you have not seen Deborah live, you have to see Deborah live. There is nothing like it. I have never seen anything like it.

I can't either. Thank you. You have to go and see it. Sirus, tell the people, I know you have this Amazon show on Amazon Prime called Influenced. Where can people find you otherwise though? You can also find me on Instagram, on Snapchat, on all of the things at SiriusFacies, C-Y-R-U-S-V-E-Y-S-S-I

and DM me, my DMs are always open. I love chatting. Oh wow. Brave, brave. Yeah, I know, I know. And Talia, where can the people find you? There you go. You host two shows, You're a Very Busy, Busy Lady, Bad Vibes and The Influence,

but where can they find you otherwise? My name is Talia Lickstein on everything. Last name is L-I-C-H-T-S-T-E-I-N. My DMs are not open. I do read them, but I might not respond. And that's okay. I set boundaries, yeah. My DMs are not open. I do read them, but I might not respond. And that's OK. I set boundaries, babe. And that's that's what I do when I'm on TikTok.

I'm on Instagram. And yeah. Yeah. Follow her there for more, I'm sure. Incredible stories, just like the one you heard. And listen, y'all, if you had as much fun as I did with this episode, please rate just like the one you heard. And listen, y'all, if you had as much fun as I did with this episode, please rate and review us on iTunes or Spotify or wherever you're listening to this podcast.

Give us five stars. Listen, it is my favorite thing. This has happened a couple times. People have left me negative reviews, but still left me five stars. So if that is where, like, that's the headline, babe. Five stars, five stars only. I don't care if you hate my guts. It's five stars only. Okay. It really does help us out.

It helps people find the podcast. And as you have just heard, it is a blast. Thank you all so much for joining us. I will see you next week for more Bad Dates. Bye bye. Bye. Bye. Bad Dates. Bye bye. Bye. Bye. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media created by Robert Cohen.

Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited, and engineered by Devon Torrey-Brien. Produced by Anne Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana. Executive producers are Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Bateman. Music by Kushi and Evan Schleder. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3283.

That's 984-265-3283. That's 984-265-3283. That's all for this week. We will be back for more Bad Dates. Thanks. Bless. Me. I.