Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - The Craigslist Of Cities (w/ Gareth Reynolds, Yamaneika Saunders, and Sean O’Connor)

Episode Date: June 9, 2025

On a new episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians Gareth Reynolds, Yamaneika Saunders, and Sean O’Connor to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Gareth is a kept man so he keeps his mouth shut about the raw duck, Yamaneika’s date absolutely insists that she look at every single snake on that plane, and here's just a partial list of elements from Sean’s story: Tyra Banks, 5-6 vodka sodas, and a whale puppet. If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips. Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Gareth Reynolds: New show Next We Have on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube, advice show We’re Here To Help with Jake Johnson, GarethReynolds.com for tour dates Yamaneika Saunders: @yamaneika on socials, new standup special!Sean O’Connor: @seanoconz on socials, podcast Off The Records, on tour with Nikki Glaser all year Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Smart. Blast. Neon. You know, I used to be much bigger, and I had definitely had the body of, you know, like a security guard motherfucker with love. You know what I mean? Like heavy-ass hoodies.

You know what I mean? Huge areolas. You know, small waist but but like, you know, it had also something to do with the fact that you were always wearing black hoodies and had an air piece in. Yeah. Oh, hello and welcome to another episode of Bad Dates. I'm your host, Joel Kim Booster. And here at this podcast, we are the only podcast that talks about bad dating stories. We're the only ones.

We're the only ones who are doing it in the entire podcasting world. It's crazy. We were the first, we will be the last, And I will not hear any fact checks on that whatsoever. If you're new to the podcast, this is a panel show where we, I invite three of my funniest friends and they dig deep and tell me a little traumatic story from their dating history. And this and dating is it's a wide net that we cast here on bad dates. A bad date can be a third date, a first date, it can be a 10 year long marriage, or it can be a hookup. It can be really whatever serves the story the best because what we're here to do is entertain you with our trauma. Before

I get to our guests, we have sourced 150 questions from relationship experts that are supposed to be questions that you ask on a first date that will lead to a successful relationship. And the question that we've chosen today is, what would people from your past relationships warn me about you? Bad dates. For me, this question is,

I haven't been in a ton of relationships. So I will say he's a cut and runner. You need to, he's got anxious attachment style until he's got you hooked and then he will ghost. That was my MO in the 20s. So it's like, keep things spicy, keep things interesting, keep it at arm's length and he'll always come back. It sounds really toxic, but guess what, bitch,

I'm engaged right now and you're not. So I guess it worked out pretty well for me in the end. Let them know. Now, to answer the same question, I have a panel of extremely funny guests that I'm actually very excited about this one because we tried to record with one of these guests before and disaster struck. And I've been salivating waiting to get this person onto the podcast ever since. We have a comedian and an actress from Life and Beth inside Amy Schumer, Survival of the Thickest,

and a Comedy Central half hour that is still two dates. I saw this filmed live. One of the best live standup experiences I have ever seen. And that is from the one and only Yamanika Saunders, everybody. Thank you, my love. Thank you, sweetie. What a legend. A legend in the chat with us today. Another legend in the chat with me today is a comedian, writer, actor

and producer from shows like Arrested Development. You're the worst and Idiot Sitter. He co-hosts the Comedy Advice Podcast. We're here to help. It's Gareth Reynolds. Hey, hi. Gareth, again, huge fan. You're the worst all time. Great show. Oh, I thought you were going to send it at worst.

No, you are the worst. OK, that's what I thought you were saying. And finally, another person I'm a huge fan of. This is crazy. We welcome comedian, actor and producer and Emmy nominated writer from the late late show Solar Opposites, incredible show. And this year's Golden Globe Awards, it's Sean O'Connor, everybody. Welcome to the pod. Thank you. You made me feel as good as them, but I still...

It's true. It's all genuine. Listen, you should hear the intros for the people that I don't find impressive. What is that like? What do you do then? You mail it in? It's a little subdued and it's a little underhanded and ultimately they leave feeling less than. That's how we run the podcast. But guys, here's this question. What would one of your exes warn me about you? And we'll start with Yamanica.

Do you have a lot of exes to speak of? No, I mean, maybe, I don't know. Cause you know, if you ask it, don't ever ask somebody I used to be with anything about me. Well, who would trust them? Yeah, exactly. You see, you know what I'm saying? They gave up the prize. Yeah, absolutely.

You should ask them what they did that they lost me. You understand? Good. But I mean, most of my exes probably can't even read. So to be honest with you, I don't know what they would say. I'm gonna tell you that I'm nothing but loving. I'm nothing but considerate and kind. But you know, after three or four months,

I'm gonna stop looking good. That's really important. You understand what I'm saying? Like, so if you're looking, I'm gonna look like the woman in Times Square. The black statue they just put up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there's going to be controversy around that. You do the effort up top. Once you got him hooked, it is fully sweatpats on the couch. Like, this is couch time, baby. And I think that's, I love that evolution of a relationship, quite frankly. I love that I can now look disgusting in front of my partner, and he's already in love with me. It's too late, you know?

There's no going back. So I really appreciate that answer. Yamanica, next, Gareth, what would one of your exes tell me about you? Well, I do agree with Yamanica that, you know, don't talk to them about me, first of all, but since you have, I have no choice. She would probably say, he's still smoking pot in the garage, and I know he's doing it,

even though he says he's going out there because he's trying to clean it up over the summer. For a summer in my relationship, I quit smoking weed and then I was like, I want to sneak back into it. And like a little weirdo, I just kept going out there and taking hits and holding it in and thinking I didn't smell like it. And then I'd come in and she'd be like, are you getting high? And I'd be like, no. But I was out there smoking weed.

So you're a liar is what your ex word. What a way to bottom line it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a classic liar. I'll say no You're a deceiver your Loki King like prince of lies. You are not to be trusted And nice to be in the monarchy. Yeah Wow, everything you say now from here on out. I'm gonna really question Gareth. So I wish you had to talk to her And finally Sean O'Connor, what one of your exes tell me about you, you know, it's it's hard to say So I wish you had to talk to her.

And finally, Sean O'Connor, what would one of your exes tell me about you? You know, it's it's hard to say. I think it would probably be something about how he's emotionally unavailable. He's mentally ill and he's constantly, constantly saying he wants to kill himself, even though he never will. And it is. Is this a cry for help? Yeah, no. Do we need to do a wellness check? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's get one of his exes on the phone, because this sound like you might need some help. If I talk to one of your exes, they would be like, is he OK? Is he alive? Is he doing all right? You know, like... I... Well, most of my exes are from my 20s,

and now I've been married for 10 years, and I think I've like even, I've leveled out. But in my 20s, I was reckless. I was a rescue pup. And like all rescue pups, I dive head first into things. Yeah, and you just needed to find the right home, you know? No kids, somebody who's used to getting bitten, but won't put the dog down, etc.

Amen. And now I'm thriving. I, too, am like that statue at Times Square. You needed a pot garage in your 20s, Sean. That's... You needed a little pot shed. Absolutely. In your 40s, I'm 46 years old and I'm just getting into pop big time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Enjoy.

It's never too late. It's never too late. That's a lesson for every listener out there. It is never too late to become addicted to weed. That's what I've always said. Anyways, these were incredible answers, you guys. I feel like I have a window into all of your souls. Thank you so much for sharing.

Bad Dates. Bad Dates. Bad Dates. Bad Dates. Bad Dates. Bad Dates. It is time for the stories. We're gonna start with Gareth Reynolds.

Gareth, before we start your story, give me a little low down, give me a little bit of context. Where are you at right now romantically? In a relationship, and there's no pot garage. Two and a half years. Two and a half years, okay, going strong, love that. And was your style- Yeah, there's a co-cave.

Yeah. But there's no pot garage. There's a cocaine tool shed, yeah, but no pot garage. But it is getting organized. Yeah, spin no pot garage. But it is getting organized. Yeah. Spick and span. So what was your style before you met this current relationship? Were you a serial monogamous?

Were you a fuck boy? Were you somebody who needed to be in love at all times? What was your style? No, it was tough to hear and it's even tougher to admit that I was a fuck boy. You were a fuck boy. I spent 10 years being a fuckboy. Recovering fuckboy. Yeah.

And what chip are you on right now in your recovery? What is it? It'd probably be chip 14. So I'm doing good, great. I've achieved highest status. Okay, love that. Yeah, but no, I spent 10 years single, traveling, and it was pretty good. Being a fuckboy was all right.

I'll be honest. Not enough people talk about the actual experience of being the fuckboy. Yeah, it's great. I want to hear. Yeah. Here's the thing. I don't think that I have any problem with fuckboys. I actually celebrate fuckboys.

The problem is, is be honest about who you are. Like the problem comes in with when these fuckboys come in and try to wear the clothing of a man who's got it together who's not a who is a. But that's what makes them a fuckboy. They can't be telling you they don't have their shit together. They gotta be a dollar store dressed up like Montgomery Ward's. You understand what I'm saying? They gotta come in. Yeah, I'm a hot dog dressed like a steak. That's part of the fuck pool here. Boy, wow. That pierced the soul of me.

Oh, I'm sorry to call you a... No, no. I am a hot dog in a steak... I don't even think I'm in a steak costume. I'm just a hot dog in a bratwurst outfit. Okay. I was a fuck boy. You were a fuck boy. And so, paint the picture, where in your life does this story take place?

This actually does take place around the pot garage time. This is early in the pot garage relationship. Okay. So this was, this was that. You want to cut the tree and cut out the rings? That was probably 28. That was that same relationship, the one you were sneaking off to smoke pot in the garage.

Correct. Like a 47 year old. Is this the Obama era? This is pre-Obama. Not you trying to blame Obama, okay? Not you trying to. No, you were smoking weed in the garage under George Bush's watch, okay?

Michelle didn't have shit to do with this. It was, look, it was not, not Obama's fault and I don't think we need to get into it, but he'd probably have had a pretty large hand in it. Yeah, definitely, I can see that. And so- He had a strain of weed back then. He did, I remember it well. He did. He did.

Obama did. Yeah. We were celebrating it. No, we were celebrating him in Bushwick by wrapping him up in a paper and smoking a spliff. That is how I celebrated Obama. The four did it when they made a strain for blue ivy. I said, that's too far. The card is no one that but not for a child. It's a child. Yeah, you can't do that. And Obama, it doesn't even have like a nice like blue Ivy. I said, that's too far. The card is going on that. But not for a child.

It's a child. Yeah, you can't do that. And Obama, it doesn't even have like a nice like pun thing. No, you Kush, that work. George W. Kush. Yeah, yeah. Or get a strain of fuckboy. Wrap him up, smoke him up and burn him out. Love it. You'd smoke the George W.

Kush and you'd just be like, I regret every move I made. That's true. No, I would sit on the couch and I'd be like, mission accomplished. And you've done nothing good. Exactly. I've done nothing but sit on the couch. But at the end of it, mission accomplished. So, Gareth, where how does the story begin? Get us lead us into the story. Well, this is around the time of the Ambien boom when all of a sudden everyone was like, have you heard of this Ambien stuff?

And people were like, it was great. And remember, there was the Lunesta commercial where the woman was like basically taking it and then hovering on a neon butterfly in her room. It was all of a sudden, not only was sleep possible, but some people discovered that if you stayed awake through it, you would have a hell of an experience. So if you could fight through the sleep, you'd kind of trip. Yeah. When I did Ambien in my 20s, I woke up the next morning and I had filled

out three applications to start the process of adopting a baby. So, you know, it's a it's one hell of a drug. I got to say, adopting a baby as I had seven roommates in Bushwick, I thought I was ready. That's how powerful Ambien is. When you send in those applications should also be part of the interview. Because if it's coming at 3 AM, you're like, no. That's not acceptable. This is a drunk bit. This is like ordering DoorDash.

Yeah, exactly. So I started dating this woman. And I was broke at the time. And I kept like, I wanted to take her out on a date and I just didn't have any money. And I kind of was pretty open about it. I was like, I want to take you out, but I don't have any money.

And she was like, well, I'll bring over like bossa nova and beer. And I was like bossa nova to me is quite expensive. So I was like, bossa nova to me is quite expensive. So I was like, interesting. So she kind of was endlessly paying for food and things like that. And I kind of felt like a piece of shit. But then she was like, well, my family is extremely rich. And I was like, okay, I liked you because of you, but this is not terrible news. And so it was really helpful. It was like, you know, as I didn't have to pay for shit, I started spending a lot of time at her place and, and whatnot.

And then it was finally time to go meet her parents. And her parents, she was like kind of prepping me like, you know, they, they seem like they're rich. Like they're kind of stuffier people. She was like, my dad does smoke weed, but you would never guess that my dad smokes weed. And they had a, like a penthouse on like Park Avenue. So like they were next level rich. And I- Old money, right?

Old money. Like, old money. Old money with a secret. And, and... Oh! Exactly. And I, by the way, I was, like, she was dressing me. So I was, like, presenting, like, normal,

but I really was just still the same piece of shit. And so, um, so I, I go there, um, I meet her family, and you know, like I don't, at that night they explain what we're gonna do, and we're gonna go have dinner and go to the opera. And I was like, oh shit, like this is like, oh, Richie Rich. Yeah, stereotype montage.

Like I felt like Julia Roberts, I was like, I don't know how to eat at a table and go to a show. Did you have to wear, were you in tops and tails for the opera? No, but I didn't have nice shoes and her dad couldn't get over that I didn't, he was like, you don't have,

and I was like, no, I don't. They didn't know you was broke? Yeah, I was sort of, I was trying to hang, you know? Like I was, but I just, it was very obvious that I was out of my element and he was giving me a pair of shoes. So he was like walking me into this huge closet and he was kind of going like, you know, these are- Where geographically are we, by the way?

We're in New York City. Oh, okay. So this is real rich people. I was like waiting for you to say something, you know, like, no, you know, like we were in St. Louis and it was like, yeah. No, we're like legit. And they're like real New Yorkers too. So you're adding that into the mix. But so he gives me a pair of shoes,

not only for dinner and the opera, but he's like, you can just kind of keep these. And I was like, that's incredible. I probably overreacted to that too. You know, I was's like, you can just kind of keep these. And I was like, that's incredible. Probably overreacted to that, too. You know, I was probably like, thanks, mister. And and then so. So then we so then we go to dinner. And it really was like Pretty Woman. Like, I really felt like I like I looked at the menu and I was like,

he gave you those shoes and you like began to get on on your knees and you were like wait should I okay? Well, I thought those shoes would turn me into like a regular rich boy, but they Yeah, you have to the magical twirl first I didn't actually At the end of all of this I did realize I didn't do the twirl. And you did switch bodies with the dad, though. And yeah, no. Well, we held the shoes during a thunderstorm and said, I wish I had your life. And there we go.

But so sorry that happened. Well, it's a beautiful person. Oh, that's very supportive. And, you know, like I said, I had a pot garage, so it comes back to bite her eventually. But so we go to dinner and it is very small menu and I didn't really know what to order, so I ordered the duck and then they brought the duck over and the duck was not cooked. It was like seared, but it wasn't cooked. It was like seared, but it wasn't cooked. It was like pink duck. And I genuinely

was like, this is a major problem because I was... Right. But what the fuck do you know? You're just a poor piece of trash and this might be how rich people eat duck. So I'm like, rich people are like bullet constrictors. They could just eat whatever and it goes... Well yeah, there's a vaccine for that that only they get. They don't have the fine dining vaccine. Yeah, no they didn't know, yeah exactly. I thought the shoes would give me immunity.

But also when you die rich, they know how you die. You see what I'm saying? Only a few people dying by raw duck. Them people with the money. You understand what I'm saying? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How'd he die? Oh he had raw duck. Oh he what I'm saying? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How'd he die?

Oh, he had raw duck. Oh, he had money like that? Oh, OK. Because my cousin died. He had a raw rat. But he live in Harlem. Yeah, exactly. So no, my family is dying because they're

trying to cook everything in an air fryer. You know, like, it's not the same thing. It's not the same thing. It's not the same. We are not the same. By the way, if you'd thrown this duck in an air fryer for five minutes, what a fucking meal you would have had. OK. But without it, it was just pink. Like I was genuinely like, can you eat this?

But you must be able to. They served it. They saw it. So I start like tearing through it like a wild animal and I eat most of it. I'm trying to like hide part of it, like when you're a kid and you're like hiding the thing you don't wanna eat, like I was definitely trying to camouflage it. And then as I get like three quarters of the way through it,

her dad's like, I don't like raw duck. And I was like, well, neither do I, sir. Neither do I. And you had like a trading places type bet with him. Yeah. Why? It really it felt very the whole thing felt like it. I really felt like I should not be inside here. So it feels a little bit adjacent, like white trash get out.

Like they were they were planning on replacing their brains in your young body by the end of this. That was what they were claiming. Another flaw in their foolish plan. Like I said, I had pot tits back then. So then we go to the opera. I'll be honest, I just was like, this is not for me. I sat there, I was like, oh my God, this is awful. It was everything you would think that someone like me would think. I was just like, this is very stupid. I don't understand what's going on.

And it's three hours long. They were loving it. And then- Were they though? This is my question. Maybe not. It might've been the raw duck of plays. Opera, no, I'm not gonna say it

because I'm gonna get so many dms that I don't want to get. But I do think that opera is like Stockholm syndrome. Like people have convinced themselves that they're smarter than me because they like it and I'm here to tell you that it is boring and I do not want to see it. Well that's because they sing in all the drama. You know, white people like to sing they shit so you don't really hear it. You see what I'm saying? I need you to speak it.

I don't want to hear it in the aria. Tell me how you took the slaves and forgot to tell them that they was free and that we got to celebrate Juneteenth. And tell me that speaking, don't sing it. Yeah, that's it. That sounds like an incredible opera. I would see that in a second.

It's called Oops Black People You Miss Slavery Again. The Upra. Yeah. Choreography and music by What's His Name, Manuel. Yeah, What's His Name, Manuel. I think is exactly where we need to leave it. So you hate, you're at the opera, you're hating it. What happens next?

Hating it, okay. Just to timestamp it, this is the weekend that Borat comes out. And I'm so excited to see Borat. Right. And I'm like, and I definitely felt like the first night wasn't great. But then so so the next day Borat comes out and my girlfriend, we're going to go see Borat. And then as we're getting ready to go, our parents are like, where are you going? We're like, we're going to the movies now. Oh, we'll go. What's it called? And I'm like, uh, Borat. And they're like, OK, what's it about? And I'm like, I just I'm trying to be like, don't come.

Please don't come. You went to the opera with me and there was raw duck. No. And and they were like, we'll come along. And then so they came to see Borat. And I mean, I was like, this is the funniest movie I've ever seen. But every now and then I would just look over and they look puzzled, horrified.

Their monocle fell off and shocked. They took out the opera glasses to watch Borat. No, I mean, a huge, huge moment in culture, Borat coming out, because it was like huge. And I'm not saying this is you, but like huge for people who think quoting movies is comedy, you know, like that was like a real flection point for a lot of people. But if you had talked to my girlfriend,

she might have felt differently, Joel. I'm sorry. So we're in the lobby and she goes to the bathroom and then it's just me and them. And they're just like, what was that? You know, and I'm like, I'm trying to pretend like what a minute like that is not what I thought it was either. But in my head, I'm like, that's the greatest thing I've ever seen. So anyway, so so that night we're staying in a hotel and a fancy hotel and you know, we'd had a couple drinks. And like I said, fuck you. No, no, no, just me and the girlfriend. The girlfriend. They're they're back at their regular location.

We separate. I should have been clear. I should have been clear. Yeah, no, they they fucked me a dinner the night before. But that was just about me and the girlfriend. So so so there we are. And we'd had a couple of drinks and then the ambient comes out and she takes the ambient and she kind of stays awake through the ambient. And I don't know what happened, but it got real weird real quick and she just started saying, someone was murdered in this room. And I was like, okay,

vibe shift. And I was like, all right. And then I was just trying to get her to bed. And she goes, she's like, someone was raped and murdered in this room. What? Okay, wait. It sounds like the ambient unlocked like a psychic power that she had. She is the media. She is Patricia Arquette. No, I believe her.

I believe women. I believe women. I believe women. I believe that someone was murdered in that room. And you are gaslighting her right now. You should have called the police. You gotta believe women. Unless it's white women. You gotta double check their stories sometimes. I believe all women, but double check with the white ones. Yeah. No, I was very open to the idea. I was like, potentially.

So we'll check out a 10, like the plan. We'll hang in there tonight. But she keeps going. You didn't take out your ghost hunter kit? No, I didn't have it. Like, EMF reader? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The temperature changes.

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, all right. So I'm trying to calm her down. Well, it kind of gets a little like, she's, she's like angry at me over my like pushback that, you know, I was like, come on, let's go to bed. There was a murder. The stakes are high.

In retrospect. And then so, so it, it's not a fight, but she wants to go back to the penthouse. It's like two in the morning now. And she's like insisting she wants to go to the penthouse. And I'm like, we can't go back there right now. I'm like, this is, it's just too crazy. And I, you know, but she ends up calling the front desk,

ordering a taxi. And I'm like, she doesn't want me around, but I'm like, you're tripping your fucking balls off. So I'm not gonna just let you go around New York tripping. And so I'm going with her and the whole time I'm like, please don't go back to your parents. And they live in a building where you have to talk to a doorman to get up.

And she's just like, she's mad at me because I didn't think that someone was raped and murdered in that room. And so we're in the cab and I'm just like, she's mad at me because I didn't think that someone was raped and murdered in that room. And so we're in the cab and I'm just like, please. Like it's honestly like, we're almost breaking up and I'm just going, please, please, I'm sorry. Like someone was raped, they were murdered, it was awful. I was insensitive, baby, take me back. They were raped, they were murdered.

And we get to the place where we're going and she goes up to the doorman, and he, see, you know, it's almost like, you know, he's like just putting someone's fingerprint on a door to get access. Like, she appears to be who she is. He doesn't know that she's no longer really in her body. So he lets us go up to the penthouse,

and we're at the penthouse door, like 2.30 in the morning, and she's just banging on the door, and I'm just going like, I've already like, this has already gone horrible, these people answer the door, my duck is cooked. And so she's banging and thank fucking God they didn't answer. And so then we go back down, we take a cab back to the hotel and then we go into the room and then the next morning she wakes up and she's like, oh, that was pretty good sleep. And I was like, what do you remember?

And she was like, nothing. I was like, well, I've got some goddamn updates for you. I was like, you're saying it's all raped and murdered. And we almost broke up in front of your parents because of it last night. And that was the worst parental meeting. And I bombed the weekend, just bombed the week. But I want to be clear here. You stayed with this woman for two and a half years. No, no, no, like a year.

Oh, a year. Probably about another nine months after this for sure. Another nine months. Because you were still on the high of Borat. Well, we were on Borat fumes as we all were. Yeah, that'll do it. Wow, what an incredible story, Gareth. I do have a question.

Did you learn anything from this experience that you have carried on with you for the rest of your life? Did this teach you anything? You take Ambien, sleep. There's no point in just sleep. It's there for sleep. You know what? That is a lesson that is actually on the box.

Yeah, it says it right there. They were very clear. It's right there in the commercials when they sing the theme song for Ambien, they say, go to sleep, bitch. Now next up we have the one and only Yamanika Saunders. Yamanika, now give me the rundown. Where are you at relationship wise right now? God only knows. I don't know what's going on over here. It's been a ragamut tag, a random motherfuckers

in and out of this apartment. You see my cat over here, he's in fatigue because he don't know what nigga gonna walk through the door next. That's really hard on an animal. They don't know if they should invest in the door next. Yeah. Now. That's really hard on an animal. They don't know if they should invest in the relationship.

They like, what's happening here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I can tell when a fuck motherfucker walk through my door because the cats immediately, they disappear. They like, not this one. So you know what I mean? Yeah, they're intuitive creatures. They're intuitive creatures.

Yeah. So Yamanica, tell us now in your, I'm sure, illustrious dating history where this story takes place. -♪ MUSIC PLAYING -♪ So, there was a security guard at one of the clubs, you know, that I worked at the time, and he was cute, but he... I, you know, I don't know what it's like for men, but as a woman, you look at a man right away,

you know if you're going to fuck him or not. And you also know, like, you feel something like, this may not be right, like, my desire to have sex with him may be overpowering the fact that he doesn't make any sense for me. And I think that would come to the situation. I think we all, three of us, are very familiar with the feeling of our penis overpowering our brain. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I will say, you know when you wanna fuck them, you're just wrong a lot of the time. Yeah! Okay, okay, you guys feel it too. Okay, good, I will say every you know it when you want to fuck them. You're just wrong a lot of the time. Yeah, okay, good, good, good. But this definitely was, you know, he was a man, he was intriguing, but he wasn't for me. And I wound up going on a date with him. He he took me to snakes on a plane. And all right. All good. All good dates start with Keenan Thompson. And there's like there's a nice like imagery there.

It's like snakes on a plane. There's a snake and, you know, there's like, oh, you know, anything, anything to get you in the mood, you know, to put the phallic nature of everything in your head. I think it was very subconscious. Like, yeah, he was doing he knew what he was doing. Snakes in the mood, you know, to put the phallic nature of everything in your head. I think it was very subconscious. Like, yeah, he was doing he knew what he was doing. Snakes in the plane. Right. Yeah, thanks to the place. Thanks to the pants. They can, you know, you know.

So anyway, he I'm not somebody that does well with horror. And I'm also somebody who's very vocal. One of my really good friends, Leah Bonama, she said, we're both Scorpios, and she was like, bitch, if you say something, we went to go see Kill Bill, and she was like, bitch, if you say another word, I'm gonna kill you. So I can only be quiet when I'm in a movie with her,

because she's gonna threaten my life. But I'm in the middle of it, we're like, uh-uh, I get to suck a body here. So we went to go see- Not good for snakes on a plane, really. No, no, no. No, I got to say this real quick on the side. We went to the movies, a bunch of comics, and this was for Leah's birthday. And I think we were seeing a lip-team or whatever the fucking movie was.

And there was a white man in a trench coat that walked down towards the front of the theater. And he had a briefcase. But Leah told me never to say nothing to her or she was gonna punch me in the throat. So I thought he was gonna kill everybody but I didn't know how to tell everybody so I just decided to leave and save myself. Oh! Right?

Because she told me not to say nothing. She said don't say nothing. It sucks that this is so real. And I also love that you said, hey, you didn't wanna know, guess what, you're not gonna know. You're not gonna know. And that means sometimes it's gonna kill you.

You understand? Yeah. And then did you tell her eventually the deal? You were like, look're not gonna know. You're not gonna know, and that means sometimes it's gonna kill you. You understand? Yeah. And then did you tell her eventually the deal? You were like, look, I left the case. Well, they asked me while I left, I said, oh, I'm just so glad you're all alive. So, so, but anyway, so we go see snakes on the plane. I'm not good with, and first of all, we are late.

He shows up in commando shorts, but not the short shorts. Like the shorts that could be pants if they weren't shorts. You know what I mean? Like kind of, but they were loose at the round the calves. And I was- They're big, they're big, right? Yeah, and he had wife beater on. It was like, what's happening here?

No, no, this was not. He's dressed like juvenile. I will say that what you've just described is now the Bushwick faggot uniform, but back in Snakes in a Plane, that was not the tea. That was not what we were wearing. I was like, oh, he got a lot of problems and I don't know if I can solve any of them. Right? There's snakes on his plane.

Yeah, they were snakes. And we don't walk in late because he was so busy. I was like, let me just go ahead and get the tickets. But he didn't want no woman getting tickets. And I was like, that's crazy. So we had a whole argument. So anyway, we get in there about maybe 10 minutes or later, something. There was a part where, you know, some some shit popped off.

I said, oh, like that, right? He said, be quiet. OK, first of all, that was the cutest scream. That is that is a first date scream. That is like a woman performing first date scream. It's not a visual medium. You cannot see it. But when I tell you, Yamenika looked so demure, so feminine, so like, oh, the scream was perfect.

It was perfect. That's how I screamed. I can't believe he told you to shut up. He did. He said, shut up. Somebody gonna let noise. You know what's going on in here. I said, I mean, I'm scared. And then when I turned, I just turned my face into him.

He turned my face back and made me look at the screen. Oh my God. That's not wrong. Snakes on a plane does not deserve this type of respect. No. There's snakes on a motherfucking plane. Right! And he told me he paid for it, so now I gotta see all the damn snakes

on a motherfucking plane. I said, well nigga, we missed three snakes arguing before the movie started. So, I mean, so anyway, I'm like sitting here with this guy. I was like, oh, he's crazy. Now the part of me that kinda like got turned on, because you know, women love a crazy motherfuckin' that like might strangle you, but the other part was like, oh, he's crazy. Now the part of me that kinda like got turned on, because you know, women love a crazy motherfucker that like might strangle you,

but the other part was like, no, no, he got these cargo shorts, and he keeps telling you to shut up, and he keeps making you see murder and mayhem. You can't be with him. So he starts telling me after the date, he wants to walk along the Hudson. First of all, never do that, okay?

I don't care how cute they make it look, it's a family of rats that run the Hudson, honey, and they doing a sweatshop of rats. There's nothing but rats on the Hudson, okay? Rats on the bridge. Per capita, what I'm telling you is, go over there and see, go over there, take your little pot barn over there,

and sell the drugs over there to the rats. The rats in New York City have full-time jobs. That's why the nigga was in the subway selling pizza when they got to work. Okay? So now we walking down to damn Hudson, he got the damn cargo shorts on, it's windy and shit, so now the wind blowing up on his damn shorts and shit

and it look like a puff bar in his balls He's telling me all this nonsense about how he won a woman like this and a wife and I said Why can't be with this guy and as he's telling me more and more he's holding my hand and he's like crunching my hand crunching my hand So I said we've we ended the day. I said listen. I told my one my girlfriends I said I can't see this guy said but also he said one of the clubs that I go to I mean like he's crazy And I don't see this guy. I said, but also he's at one of the clubs that I go to. I mean, like he's crazy and I don't know. And I'm like, how can I? I need him to be chunked off by me.

Sometimes women have to do that. You have to get a man to be chunked off by you so he doesn't do it. Because if you tell him no, and he doesn't have you either, he'll hurt you. You gotta make him think it's his idea. His idea. So I'm like, yo, I gotta turn this guy off.

But the thing is, you see me sitting here today. It's hard. That's a tall order. It's hard to turn men off. Look at me. My skin is nice, moisturized, lips popping, hair, everything. Everything is in the right spot. Everything is in the right spot, yeah. He called me two nights later on the phone. I told him, I said, listen, I just want to let you know, I've been going through a lot of stuff and I wasn't able to tell you this, right? Going through a lot.

My family, they're trying to take me back to the sustainable, because you know what I mean? Like men, once you start telling men a problem, they ready to get the fuck about it. They don't want no bitch with a problem. They want they bitches ready to go. So the more you tell a nigga, the more he gonna step back and go,

okay bitch, you on your own. So I said, yeah. I'm surprised he didn't hang up as soon as you said, I've been going through something really hard. And then like just click. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he was still there enough to the point where I had to make up a drug that I was on. So I'm sitting there, my girlfriend, one of my girlfriends is over my crib, she's there

with me. We was watching the movie already having a good time. I'm trying not to laugh, right? Because she looking at me lying to this motherfucker. I'm trying not to laugh, right? Because she looking at me lying to this motherfucker. I'm trying not to respond. But also he want to know what type of medications because he talking about he crazy too. Oh no.

So I was like, I'm on nepa-perforin. I don't even know what the fuck that is. I just made up some shit. I said that sound like some shit, nepa and perforin. And I sort of, I said, yeah, it causes my eyes to go in and out, it causes everything. I said, just two days ago, I was trying to climb up the Statue of Liberty.

And can you imagine my surprise when a black woman finally climbed the Statue of Liberty? I said, I can't find that bitch. She didn't give me no credit. Yeah, but him and I, we know, thank God, he went on about his business, and I didn't have much of a problem with him, but he had to be one of the worst dates ever. Yeah. Yeah

I'm really upset that he shamed you for any of that behavior y'all Monica because I think that's exactly what the fucking Especially a movie like snakes on a plane. That's what that fucking movie was made for Do you know Joe how many times I've told this fucking story and nobody has ever given me giving me love like this Thank you, cuz I feel see cuz you write. What the fuck is he doing? Yeah. If you like, that's something you do during the brutalist. But it's not something you do during life. The idea that you're going to miss one minute of snakes on a plane and be lost as to what is happening.

There's still snakes on the plane. Yeah, they're still there. It wasn't giraffes on the plane. Yeah, we're still on the plane. Yeah, they're still there. Yeah, it wasn't giraffes on the plane. Yeah, we're still on the plane. There's still snakes. We get the gist, okay? Yeah. And yeah, and it sounds like, like, I don't know, a scream like that.

It's like, that's exactly what I want in a movie theater. Anyways, thank you so much, Yamanika. Are you still taking nepa prafa around on? Ending us out, the very funny Sean O'Connor. Sean, give us the low down. Where are you at right now, relationship wise, what's your status? I've been married for 10 years with a child. We just got a new dog, so that is breathing new life

into our marriage. And honestly, I just feel content. My SSRIs are just making it so I'm never horny at all, but hey, we're all living. You've been together for 10 years and you've got a dog and a kid, it's fine. It'll come back right when you need it. Trust me, I've been there.

Before you met your wife and you've been together for 10 years, what was your style of dating? Was it sort of fucking around? Was it, were you fuck boy? Were you relationship guy? What was your deal? Oh, I was relationship guy, like, and quick.

Like, I'm like, this is, I think, going into the mental illness of it, but like, I would date somebody for like a month and then I'd be like, we should move in with each other. And then like, in New York, it was like very acceptable. Sort of appropriating lesbian culture a little bit. Yeah. In your hairstyle.

I think I have major lesbian energy, period. Like, I mean, I love the Indigo Girls. And like... But yeah, that was who I was in New York. Like I was always quick to make things a fish. Well, I will say in New York, when you ask someone to move in or to say, like, we should move in together, quite frankly, that is an economic decision that makes sense for a lot of people.

I know so many people who rushed to get there because they're like, oh, my God, we could split the rent. And like that, it's so insane how New York warps your brain about like the realities of living with a partner. It's so funny. It is. And it was like, I kind of like that. But now I'm like, I've evened out. I know who I am now. And I'm if I could move out from my wife, I would, but like... That's very romantic. We need our space. But my story is definitely in this like prime period.

It is the Bush years. It's early 2008. Oh, wow. Like we had like, we had... Hope and change was coming. Hope and change was coming. Yeah, we had that vibe. We had that vibe, but I had just broken up with this girl who,

you know, I think I definitely said I love you to her too quickly. Like, I think I said it on our like third date. Oh, listen, I, you know, I felt it. That's OK. It's the same place now. Yeah. But that's okay. It's the same place now. Yeah. But that's madness. But we dated for like three months and it ended poorly. But so that puts me in this like perfect scenario for what's about to happen. So I'm like, you know, I love Lorne or whatever like that.

So my friend Adam sends me a Craigslist ad. Every great story. Every great story begins with my friend Adam sent me a Craigslist ad. Not a friend now. Yeah. And we see each other once a year in Las Vegas. I think that is our friendship has maintained the level of like... The Craigslist of cities. Yeah, I was just about to say. Oh, my God.

So so the Craigslist ad is that they are looking for comedians to go on a date on television. And at this time, I'm like, I'm fresh to New York. I'm 23 years old. I am like, I'm fresh to New York. I'm 23 years old. I am like, I'll do anything to be on TV, especially date, because like I am feeling so lonely. Yeah, two birds, one stone. Yeah. Definitely the time to do it. I get on the phone with the producer,

and the producer gives me the skinny. And the skinny is, this is the Tyra Banks show. They are trying to get a virgin out of her shell. She is a virgin. She's only been on three dates her entire life. And to break her out of her shell, they're looking for comics to go on a date with her. Oh, what?

This is unreal. What? Tyra Banks is selling a girl's virginity on live TV to the funniest comedian? Like that was a wild time in TV. I have to say. Tyra is an icon. She got away with it so much.

She should be in prison. It's like three months after Fat Suit, okay. Like Tyra has never been hotter than right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Okay, so I go in and I find out the other two people going on a date are Adam Newman and Sean Padden. And we are all just like, this is going to be weird, right?

So the producer is talking to us, doing the pre-interviews, talking about what kind of comedy do you do? And Sean Padden does his act for them and they're like, oh, perfect. You are very funny. And then I do my act for them and they're like, you are not confident enough to do this on the show. They're like, you need SSRIs. So they're like, do you have anything else?

And I'm like, oh, I do prop comedy sometimes, which I do not. At all? Oh my God, you lied. This is, that, you lied about doing prop comedy. Never happened before. I'm trying to think about like what, that is like lying. I am trying to think of the right analogy here that's not gonna be like too offensive.

That's like driving a Mercedes and being like, I drive an 87 jet, like Pontiac. Exactly. What kind of props are you supposed to use on this day? Vibrators? I don't understand what's happening. That's a great segue to me going through my Bushwick apartment looking for any prop. And all I have is a whale hand puppet, which is not a prop for a prop comic. It is a prop for like a ventriloquist. So I'm not even doing prop comedy.

I show up with a whale hand puppet. The producer's like, great. So I'm the third one going on a date. They do their dates. I'm not allowed to see it. I'm in like a blackout room, but they're allowing me to have an open bar while I'm waiting. Oh, of course.

Of course. It was this era of reality TV. So I have like five to six vodka sodas and I am just drunk. Like it's not even like a fun type of drunk. I am like, you should probably just put me in a cab now. You shouldn't be on the Tyra Banks show doing prop comedy as a ventriloquist drunk. We were rooting for you.

We were all rooting for you. I know. By the way, it's amazing to be the only one telling a story where I was the bad part of the bad days. Yeah, you are the villain, yeah. So, they're like, all right, you ready to meet her? I meet her, she's very nice. And then I sit down and the producer stops me and calls me out again,

like two minutes into the date, and it's like, you gotta do the act. So I'm like, okay. You try to really date her. So I go back and I'm not on a real date anymore and I like pull out the whale hand puppet after I order a glass of water with salt in it and I put the whale hand puppet in the water and just start asking about her dating history

in like a weird voice. So she's having like an immensely bad time. And then every time she asked me a question, I'm going between doing whale puns, like where I keep answering her with whale. I would say, oh, no, that's a good bit. It's that terrible. Did this make it to it? I feel like I've seen this. Oh, you's a good bit. It's that terrible. Did this make it? I feel like I've seen this.

You probably have. I feel like it is online and I'm. We will be searching YouTube. The listeners will be searching. You will be watching this. Now, we're not going to get away with that. That's great. Yes. So we do the whole date at the end.

I see her like like, tearing up. She had a really bad time. Oh, my God. It was my fault. No, it was the producer's fault. But I'm drunk, so I'm like, who cares? Like, whatever. So then I have to see her again,

because we have to go to the Tyra Banks show. So we go to the Tyra Banks show, and like, basically, in the, on the show that I did not make it to air, but she talks about how I putting her off of dating. Oh my God. She wants to stay virgin. All it took was prop comedy. And I, and I, I think that's a real indictment on prop comedy.

You guys pack it up. Okay. Pack up your PowerPoints, pack up your little props. You're ruining women's lives. And then she says, I wish I got to know the real Sean and not his act, which is actually the part that hurt the most. He is.

Because that was the real Sean. And did you say, whale, he's here too. Gareth, you were so close to true. Cause I carried over the whale thing to Tyra and Tyra, it made Tyra laugh. And I, she really liked whale. She made me pull out the puppet. She put it on her hand.

She called me a weirdo. And the whole time when I got there, they told me to not look Tyra in the eyes. And then I don't know if you know this, but Tyra has the most beautiful eyes in the world. They're gray. So the entire time I just made direct eye contact with Tyra Banks, I couldn't look away.

And I ruined this girl's dating life. Eventually a year later, she came to UCB and we showed the clips and my friend Dan hooked up with her. Oh, damn, you threw up business all out the streets. You know what? You threw up business everywhere for everybody to know. That's wild.

Sean O'Connor, what did you learn from this story? What have you taken with you on into the rest of your life? I can only imagine. Truly, don't look Tyra in the eyes. Don't look Tyra in the eyes. Don't look Tyra in the eyes. Don't look Tyra in the eyes. Do not look Tyra in the eyes. Bad Dates.

Thank you guys so much. This was so much fun. Banger stories from all three of you. Gareth Reynolds, what is next for you? Where can people find you? What are you doing these days? I'll be Googling Tyra Banks' show Sean O'Connor in 30 seconds. But outside of that, I have a new podcast coming out June 5th called Next We Have and you can listen to the call and

advice show I have with Jake Johnson called We're Here to Help and go to garethrentals.com for tour dates. Love it. Yamanika, where can people find you? What are you doing these days? Well, you can find me on anything at Yamanica on social media. And please, I have a new special out on YouTube, a self-produced called White Nigga. You can go watch it. It is on YouTube. White people type in nigga

and then immediately erase your search history. I'm not responsible for what happens after that. There better be a special. It is a special. It is a special. It is my special. You can get it on my page on YouTube, Yamanica. It really is just me breaking down what happened over the history and time of white niggas.

So I love that. I want to thank you, Joel, for having me so much. I'm a huge fan of yours and I love you. Oh my God. Every time. And these beautiful men you had me on with today. It just was a lovely time. So thank you.

Thank you very much for being here with us. And Sean O'Connor, finally, where can people find you? What are you doing these days? Social media at Sean O'Connor's with a Z. I have a podcast called Off the Records with B Money and the O'Connor Man, where we listen to old comedy records through the... Look at them through today's perspective. And then I'm on tour with Nikki Glaser on the Alive and Unwilled Tour all dates for the rest of the year.

Love love love. All right. That is incredible. That has been our episode this week. You guys, if you liked what you heard, please give us a rating and review wherever you're listening to this podcast. It really helps other people find the pod. We will be back next week with more Bad Dates. Goodbye. Bad Dates is a production of Smartless Media created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced, edited, and engineered by Devin Torrey-Brien. Produced by Anne Harris. Edited by Kyle McGrath. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer is Tommy Galgana. Executive producers are Sean Hayes,

Will Arnett, and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Music by Cushi and Eben Schleder. If you've had a bad date or would like our advice on any dating issues, please tell us about it at baddatespod at gmail.com or call us at 984-265-3283.

That's 984-265-3283. That's all for this week. We will be back for more Bad Dates! Smart. Less. Neon.