Bad Friends - 100 Men v 1 Gorilla

Episode Date: June 16, 2025

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Homeaglow, Square HelloFresh & True Classic • Homeaglow: Head to https://Homeaglow.com/badfriends to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. • Square: Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/badfriends! #squarepod • HelloFresh: Make your summer enjoyable and delicious by signing up for HelloFresh at https://HELLOFRESH.COM/badfriends10fm and get TEN FREE MEALS with a FREE ITEM FOR LIFE. • True Classic: Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BADFRIENDS! #trueclassicpod YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 100 Men v 1 Gorilla 4:00 Got Milk? 10:00 Hottest Popes 15:00 Casino Babies 20:00 Analyzing Our Interns 25:00 Human Tails 29:00 What's in the Fanny Pack? 34:00 My Mom is My Cousin 41:30 Please Don't Kill Us 45:00 Creature Feature 50:00 Jigglypuff 55:00 Bobby's Gift 1:00:00 Willem DaFoe Smile More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@SOSVHS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This episode contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ads Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

You two are something. We! You two are something. We're bad friends. I can kill a gorilla on my own. I don't need 99 other men. He's doing this because there's a guy who's wearing a shirt that said, I'm not a gorilla, but I can beat off 100 men. Not that based on that, I saw that.

That's what we just talked about at lunch. Yeah, but there's these memes and stuff going around about 100 men versus a gorilla. You couldn't, you could not. A hundred men versus a gorilla. Yeah. We'd lose. It's not how big a gorilla is. It's not how big a gorilla is. Oh, I mean, how many, okay, let's go, let's go all animals. How many men will a Yorkshire terrier? How many men would a Yorkshire Terrier? Like a grown adult male, just one. One, but not Brad Williams.

How many kids? But not Brad Williams. No, BW would be taken down. Yeah, he'd be taken down. How about how many people would it take to fight off a Doberman Pinscher? Ooh. I saw a guy manhandling his dog this morning

speaking of which, and it really pissed me off. Why? Dude, cause you know how like people tug on the chain and he whipped it around cause he was barking at another dog in a fence. Yeah. And he whipped it so hard, it leapt off the ground and then he grabbed it by the neck.

That guy, write his name down, that's uncalled for. A pit bull. He had a pit bull. I hate when animals are treated that way. I don't like it at all, man, it pissed me off. There's my dog in the window. Yeah. He scared both Carlos and me.

Did it scare you guys? Yeah, it jumped, literally. Where they'll see like a puppy being beaten down on the side of the road. Disgusting. Right? How come I can't find them? You know how there's this show on the internet where they-

I can't find kittens or anything. You's this show on the internet- I can't find kittens or anything. You know the show on the internet where they catch, there's a guy named Colorado Ped Patrol. He like baits people that are trying to interact with underage people and then they beat them in public. They like beat the life out of them. Why can't we bait people that are abusive to dogs and beat them in public and stream it?

I think if you beat dogs, we should beat you in public and stream it. You know what I do? I put peanut butter on my butthole. Yeah, I'll get them out there. That'll get the dogs excited. I don't know about the guy who does the abusive stuff. I'll make him eat it.

Oh, that's smart. Yeah, yeah. That's very smart. After the dogs are done with you? Chunky peanut butter. Extra chunky. Or crunchy. You like chunky or smooth?

I'm a crunchy guy, dude. Really? Oh, 100%. Yeah, you're kind of crunchy. Yeah, yeah. Well, you like smooth? Nah, smooth is so weird. It's so weird.

It feels weird. What kind of jelly do you use? Mm. Mm. Raspberry. No, what brand? I use the one, what's the one that's, you know, you know. Yeah, it's the one that looks like a mom and pop.

Yes! That one. Who is that though? I don't know. I don't even know, we just buy it. We buy it because it looks so like a cottage. Yeah By an old white lady. Yeah, I made you some jam Yeah, where is it? No, no, man, we're not smuckers. We're not smuckers guys for sure that one the first one the first one go up top The first one the first thing that girl, that's what I use. Who is this woman?

This one. Bonnie. Bonnie. Bonnie Mayman. Oh, she's got a skillset, that one. Huge rack, Bonnie Mayman. She's just an old fat white lady. I'll make you some strawberry preserves. Yeah, that's a really good one.

Do you refrigerate your jam? No, I don't think so. Do you refrigerate your peanut butter? No, and I definitely don't refrigerate butter. People that put butter in the fridge, weirdo. Leave it out. Leave it out, you weirdo. Let it get soft.

Yeah. Butter should generally be refrigerated. No, that's not true. Yeah, I think that you're wrong about that. I was going along with you and I'm like, butter. No, butter lasts longer in the fridge, but you don't have to put it in the fridge. You don't, look it up.

Here's another thing you shouldn't put in the fridge, sashimi. Leave it out. Leave it out for a month. Wherever the sun is it in the fridge. You don't, look it up. Here's another thing you shouldn't put in the fridge, sashimi. Leave it out. Leave it out for a month. Wherever the sun is coming in your house. Yeah. Big slice of tuna in your front, just in the front.

Recommended refrigerated jelly, especially if it's not high sugar variety. I'm gonna tell you, I don't oblige you any of that. I drank spoiled milk yesterday and I'm fine. Really? I did, I'm not kidding. I had cereal, looked at it, it was like seven days past when it said don't drink. Was it curdled?

Tasted fine. I mean, my farts smelled weird, but who cares? I do. Your body is- I'm lactose intolerant. Oh, well you can't have it. Curdled milk, forget about it. You're lactose intolerant?

Yeah. You're Korean and Jewish? Yes. That's what I had for breakfast. Yogurt. Yogurt. You had yogurt, yeah, okay. By the way, yogurt, isn't that curdled milk?

There's nothing wrong with drinking spoiled milk. Thank you. It just doesn't taste good. But it doesn't do anything to you? No. No, you're fucked. How old, how old? Drinking milk can be dangerous.

It's so good to have doctors in the house. Yeah, like we're on Rogan show. Just giving out medical advice to two fucking idiots giving out medical advice. Does your mother have titty milk still in her breast? Cause that's, I'd like to try it. We know yours doesn't. Yeah, I know.

You see those fried eggs hanging off her chest. This thing's hit her belt. Dude, you know what's so funny? Your mom goes, are you looking at my boobies? No, you know what's so funny? No, I'm looking at your face, not your fucking belt line. Yeah, you went mean with it. Are you looking at my boobies? No, no, no, dude, you're going mean with it, dude.

You started it. I just said are there, like a scientific question, and you went- Clearly there's not. ... dug into my mom. Clearly there's not. You know milk goes away. Yeah, okay. How long does breast milk stay in a woman's breast after giving birth?

After they stop breastfeeding. That's what I mean. You know what your mom's titty... Two years after cessation. You know what comes out of your mom's titty? Mac and cheese dust. The cheese dust. Did that land? You thought that was going to hit, didn't you? You thought about it and it didn't hit. It's going to hit with some of her fans, I think. Okay. Well, let me have the line again then. Go on.

The cheese powder from McEnroe and Cheese. That's pretty good. Kraft? Yeah. Yeah, Robert Kraft? You know what penis I want to see though? Who? Remember that flying horsey and never ending story?

Falcor? Yeah. It's packed. Yeah,? Yeah. Packed. Yeah, it's gotta be packed. Dude, I saw, I read this thing, this is crazy. He's an OnlyFans now. Oh, Falcor's on OF? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, look at that tongue though, Jesus Christ. The never ending penis. It goes on and on and on and on. If you were given Falcor, that actual fucking robotic, whatever thing, would you display it in your home? Yeah. Where? Front door.

Yeah, amazing. Right out the front window, so people coming up. No, I would have get wrapped in my roof. Oh, that's smart. I think so. I put an Asian like roof, right? And wrap that thing. Oh, that'd be so good.

You have an Asian roof. I do, yeah. It's on your house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Amazing. That's funny that your real estate agent will have an Asian roof. I do, yeah. It's on your house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow. Amazing. That's funny that your real estate agent will sell your house afterwards and be like,

and this is an Asian palace. They're like, it doesn't look, it looks Spanish. They're like, wow, it was Bobby Lee's house. Wow. It was an Asian palace. Well, just by me living in it doesn't give it value. You're King Lee. Are you not King Lee?

You think you give value to your house? I'm just a white. You're King Lee. I'm giving a white. You're King Lee. I'm giving you credit. You're missing a compliment. I'm the fraud king, fraud king. Fraud king? I can't talk today.

It's all right. I'm burnt out. To drink some of that coffee. Hey, look this up. This is crazy. A guy on the internet said, you know when somebody goes, I'm hung like a horse? He's hung like a horse. Yeah.

They did like the math comparison of a horse's penis in comparison to the weight of the horse and its size. And technically, look at this, here you go. The average horse weighs a thousand pounds and has a 20 inch dick. That's a ratio of 50 pounds to one inch. So an average man weighing 200 pounds only needs a four inch dick to be hung like a horse.

Wow. We're good. Yeah. Well, I mean, you're much less than two, how much do you weigh? I'm hung like a giraffe now. Well, I mean, you're much less than two. How much do you weigh now? I'm hung like a giraffe now. Sure, dude. With that metric. But isn't that brilliant to think about? That's hung like a horse is very average penis. Oh wow, I did not even realize that. News from Spain.

A day without power. What 12 hours of darkness looked like in Spain and Portugal? So I read this. The trains went down. Everything went down, huh? What'd you do, fancy? Look at all those fancies. Yeah. I can't catch the bus to the place. Look at their bodies. Just like, it's like a fucking village of porgs. It's a porg convention. Dude, they're all, wow. It's not your fault then.

It's not, it's genetics. It's the people. My God. It's genetics. Yeah. It's genetics. It's not genetics, dude. It's like that movie, Wreck.

Remember that movie Wreck? Wreck, yeah movie wreck remember that movie wreck wreck. Yeah, you remember that movie. Yeah, great movie You know wreck. Yeah, did you see wreck too? Yeah. Yeah, there's not three and four There's four of those. Yeah Wow Wow in an American version called quarantine. Oh quarantine. Yeah Rec was good Honestly, dude. Yeah, yeah. Shut up. Wreck was good. Honestly, dude? Yeah. You're a little snippy today, aren't you? So you haven't watched any Last of Us.

I've never seen The Last of Us, no. Why? I'm stuck, I told you, I'm stuck right now on the studio on Apple TV. I was watching that and you haven't seen it, so we have, you know, that's the divide. Interesting, okay. I gotta tell you, it's very meta.

It's inside, inside, inside baseball. Yeah. We get the jokes. Yeah. The problem is I'm so fucking jealous. That's why I can't watch it. I went to bed last night so fucking jealous. That's why I can't watch it.

It's cause I was like, why can't I be just- I have friends in it. I cannot watch it. Let me be a page. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Why can't we get work? Duh.

Cause of this? Probably. Yeah, it's gotta be a piece of it, right? Yeah, yeah. But this is- I'm gonna email Seth Rogan and ask him if he can cut me out of that one too. Put me in this, cut me out of it.

Just so I can be on set for a little while. All right. Just like the room. I'll get cut out too. You'd probably stay. We apparently did kill the Pope. Our 266 episode came out the day he died. And he was the 266th Pope.

Are you serious? Yes. No. That's confirmed. I knew we had power. I knew it. Oh my God. Did you see that Pope, Pope Francis as a young man?

He was a hottie. Was he hot? Yeah, a young Pope Francis. Please be right. No, that color photo right there, that one. Zoom in. Yeah, he's a handsome cat. Dude, look at the eyes, dude.

Piercing eyes. Those eyes have some- Betty Davis' eyes. Betty Davis. She got Betty Davis' eyes. That's what it is, yeah. A ton of music to them. Betty Davis' eyes. She got Betty Davis' eyes. That's what it is, yeah. A ton of music, aw. Now, he could get girls. He had to resist it.

Do you think, don't you think some of these guys are, they're getting top and just not telling anybody? You think so? I think if you get to heaven and you're Pope Francis, he's like, you did so much good, but I do know you were getting your wank sucked. But just to get message that you're gonna get dove put a message on it put in the sky It takes three months for it to come back. That's their Raya Yeah, that's their Raya as long as you confess that you're fine if he confesses that he did something bad What are these ones hottest Pope's?

the hottest popes, but. Okay, let's go with the hottest popes. I'm too tall for most of them, so I gotta click on this. No, it's gotta be, that dude is not hot. That guy's hot. His civilian name was Fabio. You know what he looks like? Dirty Harry, you know who Dirty Harry is?

The porn star? Oh no. I thought Dirty Harry, the movie, the movies would be. Look up Dirty Harry the porn star. He does look like Dirty Harry, dude. Dude, that colored one. That's my old landlord. I'm not even kidding.

That's literally my old landlord. Yeah, go to the first one. Dude, that's the po. This dude is an animal. Let me guess. This guy died of a bad, bad disease. He's still alive. Is he?

Yeah, I think Dirty Harry's still alive. Dirty in the name is great. But he is, wow. Is he alive? I'm seeing. Dude, Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry, Make My Day, so good. How does that line go? Make my day.

Go ahead. Make my day. Go ahead and make my day. Imagine saying that to somebody and then beating the shit out of him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Make.

Yeah. And your kids are there? Damn, no! Why would you say that to him? Tell me about David Harari. He was born in the Bronx, New York in 1951. Yeah. I love how it says he's an actor. Let's see some of his titles. Go and zoom in. Play Daddy. Dude, he was great in Play Daddy. Bang Bus, relax, he's my stepdad. I thought he deserved a Golden Globe after that one Bang bus. Oh I suck is so good. Yeah Cash for chunkers for oh, yeah, he does chunkers. I love chunkers you do. I think cash for chunkers is great

Yeah, I'd have to get cash for the chunker 29 of them He did 29 how many films has he done in total go back up to the top? I'll show you on I TV. He did 29 of them. How many films has he done in total? Go back up to the top and he'll show you on ITV. He's done so many. How many titles? 323. Dude.

And he's got one coming. Oh, really? Pink visual pass. Oh, I gotta see that. Oh, he's keeping up with AI. It's released already. Also, I wanna do a alert. Can I just go back on my word about the

death and ramen real quick? About death and ramen? Yeah, yeah. Already done a spell on rival. I know, I feel bad. Is there any way to get rid of that spell? Let me read the bottom. Let me see, let me see.

Look in, let me see the bottom. It says. I think I overreacted. As the day progresses, those changes will gradually, steadily become more apparent. However, you cannot reverse any of these spells as they are permanent within the universe.

Oh my God. I resent the fact that, do that do do's hair looks better. It does look really good. Does literally look better. It looked cool. He does look good. Yeah. I don't like there's definitely like a tension

between me and Carlos. Post Trump. Maybe maybe. You think because of Trump's election, you guys have had like weird beef? No, since you know what, since Bobby was invited to the White House. Oh yeah, are you gonna go to that?

Are you being real? What are you doing? You're talking- Are you being real right now? You brought up the tension. That wasn't the tension. It's the overall tension. Oh, okay. What are you doing? What? You know what you do? Put gas on the fire.

You're a fireman. Let's say I'm stuck in a house, right? And I'm on fire. I run out. And you're a fireman. And's say I'm stuck in a house, right? And I'm on fire. I run out. And you're a fireman. And you just throw more gasoline on me. 45 for 79. It's a Korean family. We're gonna let this one burn. Yeah, yeah. That's you. No, dude. Yeah, yeah. You're not on my side half the time. Dude?

Yeah. That's true. You really want to do... What are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah, because he's the logic and reasoning behind this whole operation. No, he's a piece of shit. Yeah, no, he's on my side all the time. He left his daughter in a hot car for hours.

Do you know this? They called the cops on him. No, didn't they, through? Yeah, he was going into Ralph's. Only once. I know, but why do you, dude, you left your child in the hot car? Yeah. Five minutes in and out.

Five minutes? Did you get in trouble? Yeah, the cops came. It was fine. He doesn't want this stuff he brought up. He tried to murder his daughter. He did. Yeah.

It's generally not safe to leave your child alone in a car, not even for a few minutes, and you did it for five. I love the windows open though. She's not a dog. Yeah. This is one lady that came out of a casino casino and they're like, do you know your children in the car? She's like, I was only gone for 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, she had been gambling for 10 hours. 10 hours, 10 minutes. What's the difference? Yeah. I mean, was she on a heater? If she's on a roll, you got to let her do it. Yeah. Also those kids, that's her mom.

I mean, that she's the mother. They're going to turn out shitty anyway. What's the difference? What? Because she's the mother. They're gonna turn out shitty anyway. What's the difference? What, cause she's black? That's insane. You never even said that. That's insane that you would say that. You just said she left him in the car.

Yeah, you might as well just say, well, you know, they're used to heat. They're from Africa. You know what I mean? Like, where is your mind today, dude? Who made up all this stuff? You did, dude. I didn't know the race of the woman. I said she's a bad mom. It was a viral your mind today, dude? You made up all this stuff. You did. I didn't know the race of the woman.

I said she's a bad mom. It was a viral thing, dude. I said she's a bad mom because she gambled. God damn you. Nice try. All right, God damn you. All right, anyway, what is this? Police are planning to charge a mother

to whose children died inside the van of Detroit Casino Garage. Wow. Oh, they died. Yeah. I saw this dude, I was at Vegas last weekend, and I'm telling you, what breaks my heart the most is when you see people with babies

at like one in the morning in the casino. Jesus, what are you doing? I mean, but the fact that that's not, how is that not illegal? What are you doing? You gotta be 21 to gamble, right? Yeah. So it should be like no babies on the floor also,

that's a law. Yeah. Can't have babies on the floor. What would happen if you did get- Look at that, no baby, babies generally not allowed on the casino floor. Yeah, it is, I saw it all fucking weekend. All fucking weekend.

Do babies get drunk? If they have alcohol, yes. Oh. If they have alcohol, yes. They can come intoxicated from small amounts of alcohol. Oh my God, imagine your baby drunk. Did your dad ever give you- The baby's like,

I need a cuckoo. I want a laugh at this bit. It's not good, I know. I'm throwing blanks. No, you're trying. We're thrusting in the sky. Nothing's happening. Did your dad never, like, you know when you were teething, you ever heard this and they give whiskey on your gums? No.

We do that. That's the whites do that. My dad used to do it with sake. It's not the same thing. Yeah. It's not the same thing. We're dying. If you put a piece of kimchi in your toes. Yeah, we're dying.

We're fine. No, I'm not. You think it's the fucking, the interns that are here? Where's these interns? Send them down here. Let's get them. Camera going? Yeah.

What's your name? Diego. Diego, you know what you are? Diego. What am I? A young, dirty, hairy. Look at that mustache. Is it bad or is it? No, it's a good look.

No, it's pretty bad. We're kinda like rocking the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, mine's a little better. Little bit better. That's you right there, Diego. That's you, dude. Diego, what happened?

I saw you on the, I pulled in the parking lot, you couldn't get in the bathroom. Couldn't figure it out? The door was jammed. Yeah, jammed. I mean, this is the new generation they don't have to turn it in a push yeah let me ask you this guy what's up guy are you it who careful sorry sorry sorry damn Diego Audrey sorry sorry are you skating on

thin horchata right now are you in the movie Zanadu what's up with your shoes dog do you like them no wait why not what brand is it let me they're like the kill Bill like yellow type you know you think that's yellow no they're like the same ones as they kill bill ones yeah they're tigers they're tigers okay the pants pants you don't like them no I'm just analyzing you dude that's what I'm doing I appreciate it yeah yeah can I analyze you I like your hat okay you want to you analyze me and I'll analyze you. Alright, let's go.

Well, tits for tat. Alright, alright. Go ahead. I love your hat. Where is it from? It says right on it. Yep. But made horn. Made horn?

Oh, made warns. Bad vision. Bad vision? What are you, 19? 20. You have bad eyes at 20? Horrible. What's your vision? What's your number? Like, 8 out of whatever it is. Did you do vision? What's your number like? Eight out of whatever it is eight out. No, no, it's like isn't it 20 20 like eight 20 or what is it? Well, you should have you ever been to an eye doctor. Yeah, but do you have contacts? I do you don't know your prescription

I don't cuz I don't wear them. They see what these kids they don't what do they know can't open a bathroom Don't you threat do you thread your eyebrows? My barber does them the he does turn on? He does thread them on my barber. They're really nice. Yeah, thank you. What's your barber's name? His name's George. George what?

Washington. Carver. Well, George Washington Carver. Oh, yeah. He makes peanut butter and does your eyebrows. Yeah. Yeah. Square.

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He's right. You're fishing, but that's not the same thing okay. I'm talking about a viking spear a Viking spear yeah, yeah, never seen Let me do another one, okay? You've never been to Canada. Been to Canada? Yeah. I'm actually Canadian. I knew it. That's why I asked you.

How'd you know? Wait, how'd you know? How'd you know I was Canadian? Look at your weak mustache and your tender face. Thank you, I appreciate that. That's Canadian. Well, you got a new prime minister, congrats. Yeah.

Oh, I didn't even know that, but thanks. Yeah. How do you not, you don't know this? What do well you got a new prime minister, congrats. Yeah. Oh, I didn't even know that, but thank you. Yeah. How do you not, you don't know this? What do you guys know? What do you know? Yeah, yeah. You're a film student, right?

Business. Oh, you're in business? Yeah. But I am. Can you tell? Yeah. Oh yeah. What business do you wanna do?

Like social media management. Oh, no. Really? Wait, you guys wanna know a crazy story? Oh, we love your stories, go ahead, dirty Harry. Speaking of business and all that. Yeah, you guys want to know a crazy story? Oh, we love your stories. Go ahead, dirty Harry. Speaking of business and all that, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You guys were, or you had actually gone on Instagram Live and I had commented, Oh, would it be cool if I ever worked for you? And like, would it, and you're like, No, you're never going to work for us. Are you working for us now? I'm not, I'm just saying. Are you working for us now?

I'm not working, but look where I came. Look how far I am. I know, but you're never going to work for us. In fact, we're never going to see you again. I'll tell'm not, I'm just saying. Are you working for us now? I'm not working, but look where I came. Look how far I am. I know, but you're never gonna work for us. In fact, we're never gonna see you again. I'll tell you what, we'll hire you for no money though. I'll do it. Damn. Are you seeing somebody?

I have a girlfriend. Is she living here in LA? You heard that little crack in the voice when you said girlfriend, that was good. Yeah, let's analyze that. Wait, what? No, hold on. He got nervous.

I have a girlfriend. Yeah, I'm a little nervous. How deep is the relationship? three and a half years? Wow, sweethearts. Wow. Wow, you know, it's not gonna work out, right? Did you know that way why do you say that it might it never does wait why Would you say he's autistic Show him this is a schism show him the statistics. That's what he said. No, what I'm saying to you is that you're ultimately not where you're going to be. Do you understand what I'm saying?

You're gonna become successful. We don't know what's gonna happen to you, right? 2% of all marriages from high school sweethearts last, success comes. I'm just gonna like. I've seen it all day, every day, dog. Well, it might be the. You won't be.

2%. No, because when you fill out the list, you're gonna be like, So last success comes I'm just gonna like it help I've seen it all day every day dog Why might be the you won't be 2%? No, because when you fill out you're gonna be a chunko when was the last time that we had tails connected to our tailbone That's a weird question that you came on. Yeah, I a little pain in my tailbone. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm thinking about that Humans lost their tails 25 million years ago. Oh my god Really? Why did we lose it? Yeah. We didn't need it.

Fuck, I don't. You know, it'd be nice to sit on a tail. Yeah. We didn't need it. That's crazy. That's what we used to look like? You could have sex with it. It's so thick.

What would you do with your tail if you had a tail? Me? Yeah. I would bling it out, dude. What would you do? Bling it out? My tail? Yeah. Tuck it out, dude. What would you do? Bling it out? My tail? Yeah, tuck it between my legs.

You'd be a tucker? Yeah. Be a tucker for sure. Or I'll make the tail look like my penis and then I'll pull it forward. Oh, there you go. Would it be hairy or would it just be skin? I would clean it, I'd clean it, I'd manscape it.

Manscape it? Yeah, I would manscape it too. You gotta keep some orderly fashion to that, it's wagging around everywhere. And also I would manscape it too. You gotta keep some orderly fashion to that, it's wagging around everywhere. And also rocket money it. Pfft. I definitely would rocket money it. Yeah, yeah.

You know what happens, first time you clean it in the shower, you go, hello, Fresh. Yeah, yeah. Look at that. Oh, so some people are born with it still. Maybe it's Maybelline. Maybe.

Wow. Who's he wearing, a jockstrap? Why's he got like a line by his butt cheeks? Yeah. Maybe and it's Maybelline. Maybe. Wow. What was he wearing, a jockstrap? Why's he got like a line by his butt cheeks? Yeah. Maybe and it's just chubby. Well. That's a chubby baby. That just looks like dough or like clay. Doesn't even look real.

You better be careful with your girlfriend. You might have one of these babies with a tail. They say it's the higher percentage that you have a baby with a tail if you get married to your high school sweetheart. Oh, great. What color is your girlfriend? What color oh?

I get your generation you guys don't see color. No is that what it is no she's same color as me Yeah, yeah, do an Asian accent You can ruin his entire business career. Yeah, yeah, see I can't do that. I can't just do this. Haro, I'm Dirty Harry. You got permission. Haro. Oh my god. What was the second?

I'm Dirty Harry. Haro, I am Dirty Harry. No. No? What do I need to do, like get a little bit more under it or? Haro. There we go. I'm Dirty Harry.

Haro. His is immaculate. Go. Go am Dirty Harry. Hello. This is immaculate. Go ahead. Hello. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dirty. My name is Dirty Harry. Yeah, this is a bad idea to put this kid through this.

All right, the last exercise we're going to do, and you can't think about it. You got to go right into it, all right? You're doing, you're a college professor, and we're a film class, and you talk to us about film, and you talk to us about film. And you introduce your name and all that stuff. Not your real name, make it up, right? Three, two, one, you go, we're kids. Okay, so welcome class.

My name is Bobby Santino. That's a mix of Korean and Irish. My parents are from, my mom from Korea. My dad's from Ireland. Ironic, I don't know how that happened. What about film, dude? This is getting to know me, right? It's a film class.

This is getting to know me, right? What's this guy doing in the film class? I don't know, let's get into the films, professor. So what kind of film did I do? That's a great question, I couldn't tell you because. The history of film. Oh, the history of film did I do? That's a great question. I couldn't tell you because. The history of film. Oh, the history of film.

Yeah, and go. Blank. I would just walk out. No, you don't. Gee. You know what I would do? You don't know how to do improv. Is this LA City College?

I'm not improv. No, I'm 20 years old. This is Quinnipiac. You just make it up. You make it up. This is the special Netscapes that we use. Yeah, I'm part of that group. Yeah. All right, let's bring the other incel in. Intern. You make it up. This is the special Nates kids that we... I'm part of that group.

Alright, let's bring the other incel in. Do I just... Intern. Intern, I mean. Oh yeah, intern. Tap him in. Oh, look at this guy, dude. Thank you, Ronaldo. Hey. We like him.

Yeah, we like him a lot. Hey, how's it going? You know. Alright. I gotta say this, cause it's been burning me, alright? You know. Alright, I gotta say this, because it's been burning me, alright? Bobby, you always transition with this word A-L-S-O, but you pronounce it oh-so, and it gets under my skin. And now that I've said that, I feel more clean.

Give me an example of when I said also. Don't get under this guy's skin. I don't want to catch you at a music festival anytime soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel clean now that I said that, so I appreciate you saying that. No, but give me an example. I have no idea what you're talking about.

Oh, Andrew, also, I am gonna be hanging out with Clila later. You say oh so instead of also. Oh so, he's saying you say oh so. With no L. Yeah. Oh so. I'm not joking.

But that's all I got. But yeah. Have you ever noticed that? No, but I do notice that fanny pack and it's giving me the heavy jeep. Let me guess what's in your fanny pack. You want to guess? Yeah. A Swiss army knife.

Gun. First thing gun. Okay. First thing gun. You know what? I actually did bring a gun on here. No, just kidding. I scared you. I scared you.

I don't know about this guy, dude. Thanks, Fluff. What's in there? Open up your fanny. I'll show you. By the way, how much does this guy love Asian women? A lot. A lot.

This is the kind of guy that loves Asian women. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like everyone you work with. You're going to live in 20 years the Philippine islands. Who are you dating someone right now? Yeah, I am, but- Is she Asian? She's not, but you know what?

I'm practicing ethical non-monogamy, so I'm allowed to explore. Wait a minute, it's called ethical non-monogamy. I'll tell you about it. So you tell your girlfriend, hey, we're gonna sleep with other people. Yeah, so basically if I talk to her I've open communication I don't like it the way you say that well, that's because he's Eastern European

No, just kidding. He looks like it though doesn't where you from I'm from here But I'm I have a lot of friends from all over the place and then I develop fake accents and fake personalities Whoa, let's do a east. That's how we got the internship. I want to stick with an East European accent. Are you a sociopath? Hello, Bobby. My name is Jackson. It's good to meet you, man.

I'll tell you what, dude. Meet me down at the casino. We could play some Black Jack. You know what I'm saying? Pretty good, dude. Sure. Let's not talk about that. Go into another one. Another what? Any kind of character that you've been in. Let's not cut the but yet go into another one

Another watch acts any kind of character. Hey, dude. What's going on, dude? I'm from North Carolina and I fly a damn airplane and you know I chewed dip on the side of the road sometimes and I got to spit it out there But the damn raccoons be eating it up and I don't know what to do at that point then okay Yeah, that's the Theo, for sure. You have any suggestions? I just hope we're not on a kill list. No, I'm a lover.

That's actually my, that's the first thing they say. All right. As they're stabbing you to death. How about this, a sensitive vampire. A sensitive vampire. Yeah. There's lights, oh hey, how's it going? No, a sensitive vampire is,

would it be okay if I suck your blood? I don't want to impose. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good. Give him another one, last one. Give him one last character. Shy Bill Cosby, I actually saw Bill Cosby before it went crazy and he's kind of like before before they know it went crazy I kind of want to eat the hoagie, but I don't know Yeah, that's pretty good North Carolina guy dude

Wow Chris, can I see your teeth with a smile? North Carolina guy dude Wow Chris, can I see your teeth with a smile? Yeah, it's nice I actually part of the reason for my body looking so fucked up is I actually called on the show one time to tell You guys about this is that like I found out that my biological mom is actually my cousin I called you guys on the phone About that one time nobody could tell and that's why I look you guys on the phone about that one time. Nobody could tell.

And that's why I look like. You're inbred. Basically what happened is my mom who gave birth to me, her eggs were all fucked up. So then they put an egg on my cousin. So then my whole family tree shifted. And I also have a lot of Neanderthalensis DNA. But dude, that doesn't mean that I can't have a good time,

you know what I'm saying? Yeah. No, it sounds like your family has a real good time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Your mom is your cousin. Yeah, so biologically, my mom gave birth to me, and she's my great aunt.

So they use your mom's cousin's eggs. They use my cousin's eggs, but it's my mom. My mother, her niece put egg and then I spawned, and now I'm here ready to rumble. Did anyone regret that? Your cousin is your mother. Biologically, yes. Yeah, your cousin's your mom, your actual mom.

The woman who pushed you out of her body is? Your cousin. No, no, no. That's you out of her body is your cousin. No, no, no. That's my great aunt. That's his aunt. Oh wow. Technically his, yeah, that would be his, right, that'd be your great aunt.

But my mom who pushed me out of her body, she looks up to you, cause she's in the program and she talks about it and how you're a good influence on the program. Where does she live? She lives, she used to live in LA and now she lives in Northern California. Wow. And you grew up in California?

Yeah, I grew up in... I was born in Burbank and then I moved up to Northern California. Then I went on a couple of alien spaceship travel adventures and now I'm back here somehow. I wound up back here. When you say alien spaceship, do you mean Sandy Hook? No. Listen, man. Like I said, the only guns I have are these ones right here. If you do the gun thing, I swear to fucking God, dude, we're never gonna see you again.

No more gun arm jokes. I'll show you I'm not armed. Don't, don't, don't, don't. Slow down, slow down, dude. Show me your hands. Yeah, what does that say? I got some thing here. What is that?

Hand sanitizer. Hand sanitizer. Sleeping mask. I got a battery here. What is that hand sanitizer? Sleeping mask. Yeah, I got a battery pack from the casino Cuz I do go yeah, I'm learning poker This guy is unbelievable no medication young man, dude. I'll tell you I take a daily dose of good vibes and also anxiety and then you combine those two And you take anxiety medication. No, I don't you'll take any medication. I am on copious amounts of caffeine Maybe that's considered how many cups of coffee. I drink roughly about 400 milligrams per day Which is about four cups of coffee a day, but if I want to I'll push the limits

Maybe there's a Simon. I got to deal with you know maybe six eight hundred we pushing you know, but My heart is pumping so I'm alive, and I'm I'm it would do that without the coffee. You know yeah It just goes a little faster, and it certainly does how many times you've been at Burning Man, dude I've never been by gone a couple of raves here and there. I like to turn up, but I'm sober at the raves, which is funny. All my friends are rolling and tripping out, and I'm just pumping my fist on caffeine. Stop waving those guns around. Yeah, it's scaring us.

Wait a minute, so you're sober completely, yeah? No. For the most part, I like to live a sober lifestyle, but I, because of all the addiction in my family and stuff, but I've never actually been sober. I like whiskey. I've been trying to experiment a little bit, but I'm not like drunk. I'm just for the flavor, like old man.

And I'm 23. Interesting. Well, how was the dating life? It's great. Like I said, ethical non-monogamy. It's a lot of fun Do you don't you have a girlfriend but you're practicing ethical non? Yeah, okay So they're gonna they're hooking up with other people and is she allowed to yeah Did she tell you about it? Yeah, she does and she's bisexual. So it's mostly women, which is a good time for me

That's the dream. But you know, you guys live together. I know Not yet. Yeah, cuz that's one thing to send That's the dream. But you know. You guys live together? I, no. Not yet. Yeah. Cause. That's one thing to send. Well it'd be hard to live together and fuck so many other people. Get a camera set up in her place.

I trust her. No. Well she tells him. My feeling is, it's bad. Why? She tells him. They tell each other. She tells me and that's.

Does she show you photos of the guys? We respect each other and it's like I said, it's mostly women. Oh, it's mostly women. Because I don't have that kind of part. I don't think so, my gut says it's mostly men. Well. And real men.

I know you're also, you had a pass with Ozempic and stuff so maybe your gut might be a little wrong here but, I don't know, I respect. He's a doctor, dude. I knew it. Dude, I'm actually thinking about getting a PhD. I'm texting the cops. But I don't know I respect he's a doctor dude Did I'm actually thinking about texting the cops? Fresh I Love hello fresh my friend. Do you know why why babe? I don't have a lot of time you have almost no time right and then also I want high quality food

And it's quick and home cooked. Yes. And you want to schedule every week and how easy is it because it goes to where? What do you get though? Do you have to go pick it up somewhere? No. It delivers right to your door. Your door. Do you like panko crusted chimichurri maramundi?

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Dude, I'm truer than you. That's right. Or most people. You're the most true. I've been wearing True Classic for a while now. Yeah. And you can feel the difference the moment you throw one on.

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if you're having a bad time, you're gonna be having a good time. And that's not a sexual innuendo. Those lies work still with women? Yeah, yeah dude my best line with women is like look is there a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them it's a working it goes ten out of ten you know their legs are trembling you hear a clam getting wet we're gonna die today. Yeah. This is it. That's when we looked at each other, we knew we were gonna die today.

Yeah. Thank you. My God, don't kill us, please. What do you plan on doing when you get older? I like the bad friends. What's your goal? My goal in life? Or what?

No, in somebody else's life, maybe Harry Truman. Yeah. Harry S. Truman. Yeah, yeah. What's your goal in life? My goal in life is to make enough money that I don't have to worry about bills. How much money is that?

That's maybe $100,000 a year. That's a good level for me. And then I just wanna make cool art and enjoy the world and practice mindfulness and creativity. I wanna also make movies. I'm in film school right now. Yeah. practice mindfulness and creativity. I wanna also make movies. I'm in film school right now. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you know what? I bet you he's a better director than you are, bud. Okay. I trust him before you, bud. I don't. I can direct. Can you get financing? Yeah, I can get financing.

Sometimes it's a little under the table You know you know it's Hollywood this kid is from the Eastern he's not from Burbank Yeah, this kid is from the Eastern block. Yeah, there's no doubt in my mind in the empire He talks these little Russian in the background. Oh, they do there's a little sneak in there. Where were you really born? I was born in Burbank, California I hear it dude, I was born in Burbank, California. Yeah, Burbank Hospital. But like I said. I hear it dude. I was born in Burbank, Moscow. See? Burbank Hospital. Say Gulag. Gulag. Welcome to the Gulag. Call of Duty man. You play. See? Let's get it bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how they

talk. I know. There's something about them though. It's a good meme bro. Are you good or bad? I think there's a combination of both. Yeah, Bobby. I've seen you one time like pulling in real life I saw you at the comedy store and you were getting mobbed by a lot of women and I was like Yeah, did you say anything to me that night? No, I just watched it from a distance. I Said hi, but you're busy bro. You're you're busy, bro. You're busy navigating the precious female. Well, my friends are there, so you know. Let's go over preventing gun violence here. Let's signs of a shooter, critical signs.

Yeah, yeah, number one. Suddenly withdraw from friends and activities. Okay. Do you withdraw from friends and activities? No. Very social. I'm pretty social, yeah. Excessive irritability, yeah, that one's up there.

Yeah, like one time I heard fireworks going off and I just hit the deck. I thought it was something else this for sure Experiencing chronic loneliness or social isolation Yeah, I play games dude. Yeah on the internet. Okay, making dread threats towards a place another person of themselves. You ever done that Only the haters. There you go. Do you have any guns or at home? No just samurai sword number 10 That's worse cruelty to animals have you ever been mean to in any animal? No, I love animals good then you're really do love that is the testament for me I just moved in with some little wiener dogs and They mean they had an apartment and they put on an ad

Four little wiener dogs and they had an apartment and they put on an ad our four little wiener dogs put out a fucking so they the wiener dogs they they look nice but then they are fairly football shaped and in need of human roommate who will pick up poop get us food and also pick up our poop. Please walk us. But it's kind of like a football. And I didn't want to hurt the dogs, but it's just one of those, oh. That's my dog. How many dogs are in the house? There's three.

And then me, of course, because I'm an animal. I'm a creature feature, you know what I'm saying? My guys, for sure you are. Hide your kids, hide your wife. Because they're gonna fall in love, dude. That's why you gotta hide them. Well, because they'll end up a member of the family of the family, you know?

Get this one, I'm saying, also. Thank you. How's your... Also, also, also. Thank you. That didn't play, but anyway, I'm bombing today. Well, you know, you're a very interesting guy, dude. Cons nominate open book. I think he's he could be in the crew Just promises you won't kill us. I won't kill you. I promise ever I'll defend you with my life

Yeah, if there's a rhino coming down the road, I will not be able to stop it, but I'll try where are we with the right? I don't know about writers. You never know there but rhinos in Burbank? Have you seen Babylon, dude? They've got animals hooking off trucks every day. So who knows? There's a stray rhino. I'll defend you, Bobby. I won't stop it, but I'll try. I like you.

Thank you. I like you. What's that? You like him? You know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I do like him. I do. I do like him. Yeah, yeah. There's something special about him. Yeah. You know, I feel like. Yeah, I do like him. I do.

I do like him. Yeah, yeah. There's something special about him, you know? I feel like he's got something extra, like a chromosome or something. That's for sure. Yeah. And do you have brothers and sisters?

Oh, that's where it gets complicated, right? I love, okay, why, we don't wanna go down there? No, no, I do. I wanna hear the complication. I'll tell you, so I got one brother, and like, And he's my dad. And I have an uncle who's also my brother. Yay, yay.

You're not gonna believe this. My sister is my mom. Yeah. My cousin, my aunt. Is my dog. Yeah, is my dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it, tell us.

I mean DNA is a double helix, so. That is true. Okay. Shit gets complicated, but. Tell me about your family line. I'll tell you, I'll tell you. So I had true. Okay, it gets complicated, but tell me about your family I'll tell you I'll tell you so I had a brother. I always knew he had a brother I always knew he was my brother. I have him still He is 13 years older than me and he's an interesting fellow. He's gonna be moving to Thailand

He's a DJ, but he still lives with his mom and stuff, but he's cool. He's moving to Thailand. He's also a DJ Oh, why else would you go to Thailand? Call the FBI, dude. What the fuck? No, dude, that's who moves to Thailand, DJs. And then- DJ Island. This is the cool part, or the crazy part,

is that essentially my second cousins, who I thought were just some distant ass relatives, they're my biological siblings now. Uh. Uh. Dude. Dude. Uh. Dude. Dude. Dude. Hell yeah, dude.

White trash, baby. So, Burbank, who would have known? Where do you live in NorCal? Where in Northern California? I used to live an hour north of San Francisco. Where? So that's out in the wine country. It's called Santa Rosa.

Lodi? Yeah. Yeah, so then there's a lot of animals out there. I probably got some brain damage. One time I drove into a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar

and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving through a bar and I was driving Francisco where so that's out in the wine country. It's called Santa Rosa. Yeah. Yeah, so Then there's a lot of animals out there. I probably got some brain damage one time. I drank a puddle I drank a puddle for five dollars because you know when you're a kid five dollars five dollars. Yeah So I drank a puddle and then now I'm here drank a brain-eating amoe. And even the amoeba got up there and was like, not much to chew on. Crazy, crazy. I'm just going to hang out for a little while. What else have you eaten and drinking that... Besides my own bodily fluids on accident a couple times.

Couple times. Yeah, yeah, like your pee? One time shame on me. Two time I like to taste the pee. Players fuck up, man. That's what happens. Yeah, play Players gotta play Wow, but fancy get it out clean if you're gonna get it out god every time yeah, I think you're rubbing off on me, dude

I don't even know what I'm saying. I don't you dude So Bobby I was wondering can you give me some advice I'm trying to learn on what on how to just be out in the world Like in this crazy world. Oh, okay So I think you need more flames. Okay on your body. You're right like flammie pants like on fire or you know They're like, yes flame stitchings on your jeans. Yeah, he means like Guy Fieri Yeah, I met Guy Fieri. Go on doesn't surprise me. Go on. Yeah. Yeah, so that I think you need some chain mail Chain mail. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty cumbersome. Well, I think chain an entire bodysuit of chain Just a chest chain now I was considering going to the Ren fair and I saw you were out there and I was thinking you know

Gone, maybe I should get some chain mail out there. How'd you meet Guy Fieri? I'll tell you, I was a DJ technician, so I was setting up cables. Do you have technicians? They always put me in the grunt work, so I was out in the dark, freaking setting up cables, and then they were having some kind of salvation army event,

donation, and Guy Fieri's walking around, so I said, what's up, I took a picture with him, and then my boss got mad at me. But I took it on the chin, because I'm not a beta male, I don't tuck my tail as we were talking. Whoa. Whoa. You're taking shots at me.

I'm ready to rumble. Yeah. Well. Is that the biggest celebrity you ever met? The biggest celebrity that I ever met is probably PewDiePie. Who's one of the biggest YouTubers. I don't know who that is. Actually, you know what? The biggest celebrity I've ever met is Bobby Lee.

That's true. What's his name? Anderson. I saw Bobby Lee in the order that would be great enough all right He looks just like you yeah, but she met him or his cousins married If I asked him do you remember oh hell no oh I remember him yeah, he freed me out How obviously foreign is this guy yeah Yeah, he's from Sweden. Yeah, no shit. Yeah, Javla.

See, you look just like this fucking guy, dude. Hey, that's pretty cool. You do, doesn't he look like this guy? Am I sure? You're the same type of guy. Yeah, so going along with the style, like flames on the pants, what else should I do? I'm trying to up my, you know, I'm a newbie.

I'll be honest with you, with your look, I could see him in Game of Thrones or something. You know what I meanasel or something right? Yeah, you do have you are Connie oddly good-looking in a weird way. Nope Yeah, you're not seeing it I'm not yeah, yeah, he looks like a nice guy good Jude Law, but Jude Law was an accident He looks like Jude Law. Yeah, look up Jude Law I'll tell you though you mentioned weasel and I like to consider myself a certified lawyer. A young Jude Law. So like, I'd be loitering around waiting, weaseling out, you know. I don't think he looks anything like that guy.

Those are old Jude Laws. Oh dang. I think I'm wrong. Yeah, no. Like there, boom. Nope. There you are, dude. Yeah, see, look at... Oh, no, it's more Romulan. Yeah, it's a Romulan, as I was thinking. Yeah, wow. Yeah, I think that I did have a cameo in Game of Thrones.

I was one of those guys who just instantly got archered down. I fell off the wall. Yeah. Are you being real? No. Couldn't tell? No, he's confusing. He is. Oh. Couldn't tell? No. No. He's confusing. He is. Yeah, yeah.

He is confusing. All right, bud. Well, you know, we, very good interview. Thank you. Do you remember his name? Do you? You don't remember his name? He said it three times.

I'll tell you again. No, give me the first initial. Give him a hint. First initial. Jay. Jay. Jay is the, no. Uh, Jay. Jay. Jason. Jake.

Jackson. There you go. Now you know who to call the cops about, am I right? Dude, this guy. I got it. Don't give me a restraining order, cause like I said, I speak a lot of languages, but my favorite language is the language of love and I'm not it. I'm not here to and you speak it so much I also speak jigglypuff. Hey, oh hum

What's jigglypuff the Pokemon? Oh, you do more? Yeah, dude Jigglypuff. Yeah, do more please puff goes hard. I don't know if you've seen him, but... Give me what you... We can do Jigglypuff. Give me an... You two, give me what he sounds like. Jigglypuff Jigglypuff Alright, I'll turn it off. Oh, Jigglypuff

I can't do it. He's saying, oh, Jigglypuff. Hahahaha! He is? That's literally what I'm saying. Oh, Jigglypuff I'm not gay, but I just felt something Yeah, oh look at my no don't look at me in the eye. Oh, dearly poor. This guy reminds me of when we would do fan meet and greets. Yeah.

And this guy would show up. Yeah. And he'd be like, dude, Andrew, I'm sorry, but I just, I love Bobby so much. And I'd go, I know, dude. Andrew. I know who your fans are. I know who your fans are.

Give me some compliment. No, no, no, I don't want any. I gotta be honest with you. I can tell who your fans are. I know who your fans are. Give us a couple. No, no, no, I don't want any. I gotta be honest with you. I can tell who your fans are. What do I say? Well, from a mile away, when they come up, I go, Bobby's fan. Hey, buddy. Hardcore Bobby's fan.

I actually really like your standup comedy. Thank you, I love you. I think you're really witty. Let him finish. Let him finish, Andrew. No, I love you, buddy. Here, I'll give you. I can just tell from a mile away.

Shut up, Andrew. Go ahead, finish. So I love your standup comedy. It's Shut up, go ahead, finish. So I love your stand-up comedy, it's really witty. Thanks, buddy. And I've never seen your pubes on stage or anything like that. No? Like another comedian who I've probably seen. Oh, that's what it is. He's connected to your pubes.

Stand up, stand up and show him your pubes. Would you like some to take home? Give him some to take home. Can we get some scissors real fast? Give me scissors. Would you take some home? Give him some to go pubes. Yeah. Yeah.

Isn't that sick? Yeah. Oh, not a knife. Oh my fucking God. Not a knife dude? Get scissors fuckhead. Well give me that knife. No, no, no, dude don't cut yourself.

Yeah, I don't want that. No, no, don't do that. No, you'll cut yourself. Don't get the scissors. Here we go. I want it, well I have to sing the song while we're doing it. No, don't do that. No, you'll cut yourself. Don't get the scissors What I have to sing the song I do it I do it I do it I don't have any pubes. Yeah, you do look yeah some there you got to go to your nut sack. Go closer to your nut sack. Yeah.

Be careful, bud. You do it then. You put your ball sack out. You do it then. The ball sack is shaved and cleaned. There's nothing? No, get this section right here. Oh no, it's so close to your penis.

It's under the- I don't know. I know. See, how do you grab it though? That's the problem. You scoop it off your chest there. Can you just scoop it up? I can't.

Come here buddy, you gotta get these. I'll come. No no no, sit back down. We'll deliver to you. Understood. I understood the assignment. You know what you could do, you could sniff these scissors. Hey man, I drank a puddle so anything for money at this point. What would you do, I have a hundred bucks in my pocket, what would you do for a hundred buck? I'd do anything for a hundred bucks from Bobby Lee man except some some sexual acts that no

We're not doing that. What I do mean that about how about brown nose him what brown nose and lay on the ground you guys Stick your his nose in your butthole I'm down for some experimentation right stick this in your butthole. This is monogamous non-monogamous Central Monogamous, I'll tell you what what I'll give you some insight just because I like you guys. Oh, thanks, brother Thank brother. All right. I've tried some kind of stuff along those lines before and you know what it's pretty fun, dude And look, I'm telling you man. Well, give me that Here you go, I'm secure securing my masculinity dude, but listen Baltimore is coming for me dude in both ways. You know, what are you talking about?

dog It's a little bit of a cursed object So I I only like you know made objects and that doesn't have a good enough flared base You know what I'm saying? Can you do a handstand? I could do a cartwheel, but it's pretty mid I Don't want to see you break. How about this dude just pop locking for a minute pop lock. What do you do for us by the way? Yeah, yeah, well, I'm. Is he an intern for us? Yeah, I'm an intern. Wow.

I think a lot of research. And I got to come here. This is tight. So what do you do for us? Same thing. Do you guys get along? Are you guys over at Seven Equis? Mm-hmm.

You guys are tight? Oh, so George hired you. Bryce. Bryce or Lane. It was one of them, but what Bobby can I be something not me I? Objected Bobby I try to walk up to you one time in real life, and I try to give you my resume I'm not even joking and that was a bad mistake on my part very bad. It's fucked up like I said yeah But I don't do that anymore because I McCone remember what you did to me there It's okay. What did I say you said? I'm gonna lose in my car, and then you went to go

Pretty accurate yeah, yeah Okay, I gets beautiful women hey, but guess what guess what dude yeah? Jackson hey, thank you Sorry from now on I'll say hi to you. We know each other now. Oh, yeah. No you you'll forget No, I will know Jackson we met I have four I have to warn all the other comics Yeah, yeah, I'm sort of a creature feature and people always think they know me they they seen me around they probably have, because like I said, I'm a loiterer, but.

A creature feature is a type of film, typically horror, science fiction, where the monster supernatural creature is the main antagonist. Well guys, if you're talking about the paradigm, the inter-dexicality of the film industry, all right, I'll tell you a thing or two about,

there's different genres, you gotta be, pay mind of the mise-en-scene. All that kind of stuff is quite important. So I was not quite referring to the creature feature, per se, but you know, that is a good genre. See, this could be a PSA for inbreeding. How dangerous it really gets. It really is dangerous.

Don't fuck your cousin. By PSA, I thought you're gonna be talking about like everyone should do it like nobody no get away no way got no way go get off the boat no way guys think dude I gotta tell you Jackson Jackson hole you're an interesting guy interesting guy here you've got a bright future like the baby if they hire anyone to babysit my kids it would be this guy but um yeah this cat yeah yeah he's normal I'd hire you to I hired you to yeah let's you hire him no fuck oh no I care about that but landscaping in North Dakota like far up far yeah yeah I know I live in you know I mean LA but go

to North have you ever done manual labor did I have they put me to work man I like I said I was a DJ technician, so I carried a lot of speakers and stuff. But then there's like situations where you just go off a Craigslist ad, and they're like, we got some machetes. Can you just go cut some shit? And then-

What would you go cut? Dude, you cut bamboo, you cut whatever, and I don't know. Is that you? You did that? You hired him to do that? Yes. What else did you go cut my pandas were hungry yeah you got to feed them

they can't just not eat yeah did you know that bamboo is technically the largest grass yeah yeah we didn't need to know that but I do know that I'm like an encyclopedia dude I know oh good single thing if you want any information I'll tell you how to I'll tell you what any information, I'll tell you how to, I'll tell you first. What do giraffes eat?

I'll tell you. Giraffes, they eat the conifer tree because it is quite high up and it's very nutritious as far as the photosynthesis goes within the plants and the. The second half was bullshit. Yeah, ask him another one. The second half was bullshit. Ask him another one. Describe to me, give me the scientific explanation

of why fish can breathe underwater, how gills work. All right, so listen, there's a fish, right? I don't know. Good start. You've eaten a couple of sashimi, but they can also be our friends. So you see a fish, and as the trajectory of the fish cuts through the water in the perfect angle the oxygen is absorbed in the gills. Yeah. So for us that's like I don't know maybe if you're 69ing and you just get a second and

you get a fresh of breath air oh that's what it feels like when the fish swims through the water at the perfect trajectory. It's getting that extra air in, you know? But if you take them out the water, dude, you're back underneath and you got to hold your breath again. I know who you are now. Who am I?

A fucked up Willem Dafoe. Dude, and I also have the big penis. Can you see it? Can you see it? Just kidding. Yeah. There is something about him that's Willem Dafoe-y. Dude, and I also have the big penis. Can you see it? Can you see it? Just kidding. Yeah. There is something about him that's Wombefowee.

Yeah yeah yeah. Actually not now. You're way worse. Yeah. Dude. Do that smile. AI is gonna fix. AI is gonna fix me dude.

Pretty soon it's gonna be like one of those video games You just customize your character. Yeah, I can a couple of inches to my height You know, maybe lose the fucking Expect a patronum that hole. Am I right? Yeah. Yeah, we're muting you now Well Jackson Jackson hole, thank you. Thank you. Well, Jackson. Jackson Hole. Thank you. Thank you. I think you're a fantastic. Okay. You don't have to bow to me.

Sorry. It's polite. It's polite. It's polite. Thank you, Jackson Hole. Thank you, Jackson Hole. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, that's good.

Oh, Jackson. That's not because. It's not screwed in. No, no, that's not your fault. McCoe didn't put the weight back on the fucking. It's okay. It's okay. Thanks, Jackson.

What a guy. Where do we go from there? I don't know. What a guy though. It's okay. Thanks Jackson. What a guy. Where do we go from there? I don't know. What a guy though. Home. Interesting guy.

Yeah, yeah. And that was wild. He was wild. Should we fire him? No, I kinda wanna keep him. Only one more month. Really? And then we gotta get him a job, I think.

Yeah, I think we gotta get him a job. And then what? What are we gonna make him do here? Landscaping. In North Dakota. Yeah. In North Dakota. I like this guy. Both of them I liked.

They're both great. Yeah. We've done a great job having a good crew of interns come through this show. What? He wants a job. You want a job? Okay.

He wants a job. What are we gonna do? He just begged, that was so sad. Give him money. I'm gonna give him about a hundred. You're gonna him a hundred. Yeah, should I do it now? Make him come here guys No, no here's some money for you. Are you serious? Yeah Yeah, there's money. Yeah, just have a dinner nice dinner for you guys

That's very nice. I don't want to shake hands, but. Thank you. No, no, back the fuck up, bro. One day? No day. No day. No, no, no, no day.

No, no, no, no, no. Get out of here. You deserve that. You deserve it. You guys deserve that. You guys are both fantastic. Thank you so much. You changed their day.

You see what you do? That's like five Chipotle's visits. Can I do like a little Larry King out for this? Yeah, please. Here's the deal. What we've learned today is the levels of which Bobby Lee's depth of love in the public eye goes deeper than any of us ever anticipated. He's able to reach out and shape lives

he's not even really connected to. We learned that Jackson's mom, cousin, sister, brother needed help with sobriety, found it through you and your humor and who you are and your commitment to the program. And we learned that Barnacle. That's his name? Yeah, Barnacle.

Diego. Diego. Diego. Oh, Diego. Like San Diego. Yeah, Barnacle. Diego. Diego. Diego. Oh, Diego. Like San Diego. Yeah, I know. We learned that Diego... No, he's a good guy.

He's a good guy. Bob, you got any final words for the kids? No. Absolutely not. Thank you for being a bad friend. Woo, yeah, woo, yeah, woo, yeah, woo, yeah.