Bad Friends - 2 Million Subscribers

Episode Date: May 12, 2025

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Huel, Goldbelly, Talkspace, BLUECHEW, Rocket Money & Spotify • Huel: Try Huel with 15% OFF today using cde BADFRIENDS at https://my.huel.com/BADFRIENDS. Fuel your best performance with Huel today! • Goldbelly: Get free shipping and 20% off your first order at https://GOLDBELLY.com with code BADFRIENDS • TalkSpace: Get $80 off of your first month when you go to https://Talkspace.com/BADFRIENDS and enter code SPACE80 • Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to http://www.RocketMoney.com/BADFRIENDS today. • Shopify: Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://www.shopify.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@SosvHs Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This episode contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ads Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most? When your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard. When the barbecue's lit, but there's nothing to grill. When the in-laws decide that, actually, they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer, so download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders service fees exclusions and terms apply Instacart groceries that over deliver

This podcast is powered by Huell H. U. E. L. new customers can use code bad friends for 15% off plus a free gift I'm a white dude, I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. Two million subscribers. Yeah, two million. Two million, baby. Thank you so much.

Oh my god. Did you shoot yourself? That's so funny. You deserve that. Fucking idiot. Today we don't have Carlos because you were so mad at him. But we, I- Well, you know, I just came up with a new nickname

with Andrew and I. I'm Little China and he's Big Trouble. Big Trouble, Little China? No, you're in Big Trouble with me. No, no, no. You're Big Trouble and I'm the Little China. I asked you for one favor. I asked you for one favor. What was yours?

I said, I'm at a- Do my show. I'm at a business dinner. I can't make it there. I asked you for one favor. What was yours? I said I'm at a show I'm at a business dinner. I can't make it there. I'm at a dinner. Yeah, and I was on a date Time out you were on a date. I called the date. I what's better or Business we'll say it together one two three business It's business three four to this game Look at me looks like an accountant It's business. It's business, four to three. You can't play this game. Look at him, he looks like an accountant. He's an accountant part three,

the new one after this next one. And this guy, he's a thin cell. No, he's an out cell. He's been doing really well lately. He told me in the car right over here, he's doing great. Anyway. No, I'm mad at you. I call Bobby.

I'm mad at you more. Nice try, dude. Good one. Nice try. Look at your face, dude. Nice try. It's a sad face. You get all red and you know you're wrong.

In your eyes, dude, you know you're wrong. I just realized. Did you put all that flair on your hat? Did you place those pins on your hat? No, it came that way. Loser. That's right. You look like a truck stop.

You can call me. You loser. You look like a Bucky's. You look like you got that at a Bucky's. Did you go down to Austin and get all that gear? You loser. No, I got it shipped here for a long time. You know what's really annoying?

I wanted to make fun of your shirt and we're both wearing the same color of like diarrhea shirts today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This shirt I thought was a different color when I ordered it. And it's like poo. Yeah, it's-

It's baby poo. It's like runny baby poo. I mean, no, are you on a safari? What's going on? Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot. Look, look. What did I do? I met with a Korean friend.

I'm not gonna say who. I met with someone who loves you, who loves us. You couldn't come meet him with me. He was a big fan. He was upset that we couldn't, you weren't there. That's fine. And that's fine. Then I called Bobby, you guys, for your reference.

I said, Bob, all I need is a couple of fun Korean phrases to say to him for the show. He goes, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I go, just text me, just text me three things. And then he goes, okay, okay, I will, I will, when we're driving, when we stop. Okay, fine, hours, hours, hours, nothing, nothing. And he says, I'm on a date.

He's on a date with a girl that I made laugh, by the way. I gave him a layup. He's on a date with a girl. He puts me on speakerphone and I said, No, you didn't, wait, wait, wait. I'll tell you what you said. You fucked. You fucker, dude.

I know what you said. What did I say? So he calls me. I pick up, I'm on speakerphone in my car, right? And as soon as I pick up, I go to Andrew, I go, watch what you say, you know, I'm on a date, right? And he goes, how did the surgery go on your nutsack? Did you get that thing burnt off?

Burnt off. And she wasn't laughing like- Cracking up. No, this is how she- She was dying laughing. This is how she was laughing. She was like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha if it was true, dude. What did you say? Yeah, I got them burnt off, it's fine.

Yeah, I was playing along with it, and then when we hung up, I had to tell her, that was a joke, because really, the fuck you do. She knows it was a joke. You're trying to sabotage me there, guy. Do you think she's dating a rocket scientist? She knows who she's dating, it's a comic. Yeah, I told her I was a rocket scientist.

A scientist? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Dude, look at the part. Anyway, so. Yeah. Do you look the part? Anyway, so- So I was upset. So I'm doing a show in the Belly Room, okay? Tickets were bad. It sold out.

It sold out, I looked online, it sold out. No. You're a liar. Do you want me to call the store right now? I know it sold out. You know why it sold out? Why did it sell out? Because I put your name on the flyer.

No, no, you didn't. First of all, first of Why did it sell out? Because I put your name on the flyer. No no you didn't first of all first of all my name stop my name wasn't on the flyer because I looked at the website A and B it already sold out. You're a liar dude you're lying. I'm not a liar. Don't lie to our fans. I'm not lying to anybody. We got two million subscribers and you're lying. Congratulations to us. To us thank you for two million subscribers. Jesus dude. Let me say something. How many more of those do you have? Don't do another one. It scared the shit out of me.

I had non-flashbacks. Charlie, down, down! Down, down, down! Stop that. Halpole, Halpole. All right, so I'm struggling to sell out the Belly Room. This is so not true. It was sold out.

McCone and I looked online. It was sold out. After I put his name on a flyer. That's not true. Here's how I know you're lying. We were- Andreas! He doesn't know. Bob is right. Are you out of your mind right now? Thank you. Are you literally out of your mind right now?

He's having trouble selling the belly room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was like, you know, who do I, I need a favor. You're gonna piss me off so hard. Can I have my point of view? But it's- In court, I get my time on the stand. But you have to swear on the Bible, this is a lie.

I'll swear on- Swear on the kitty. The kitty, okay? But so, I swear. I swear to God. Okay, so, so I get this belly room show, it's a new joke night, and I'm like, we put it on the market and it's slow. Yeah.

Because of the economy and whatnot. And it's also, you know, my name doesn't have the kind of value it does. This is so annoying. It's like- I don't care, I get my time in court. Your honor, objection. I get my time in court.

Do I not? He does. You're in contempt for him. So then I'm like, I might have to use some of my friends. So I call Whitney Cummings. And guess what? Twice Whitney showed up for me. Tim Gillan showed up for me last week, okay?

And I was sure that my best friend, right? When you think about friend, right? You think about a man, right? Your best friend, a man that's a ride or die, right? No matter what's going on, he's gonna be there for me. Totally. And that's what the definition of friendship, it's a love, it's a brotherhood, right?

If we were in the army, another Vietnam reference, okay? Right? I would need his back in a warlike situation. You would hide behind me You know what? You're right when I wasn't selling tickets. I hid behind you because I needed you no no no yeah So what then once I put Andrew's name on the flyer right? Oh? That's the tickets going up. Do you guys smell this do you smell that do you seriously smell that no? It seriously smells like gas. You gaslighting piece of shit.

That's a good joke. You're such a piece of shit. I'm not done with my- No. You're done! I'm not done! You're done! Right, so then as soon as I put his name on the flyer-

No. Right, right? And so now I'm at the show, right? And I'm calling Andrew- Driving me nuts. Osho Cashier, Nick Thune showed up for me. I don't even know Nick that well, showed up for me. And then all of a sudden I go,

just get here from 830 to 9, I did text you that. And what did I say? Nothing. I'm at a business dinner I can't make, I'll show it. I'll show it to you right here. I'll show it. Now let me show it first. I'll show it.

All right, so Andrew Santino. Bobby Lee. All right. All right, so Andrew. What time is it? I have a dinner, 830 to 9. And then what did I say? I'm not able to head over after dinner.

I was out of- That's so funny. Trying to secure some stuff for us. Stop, because you know what? It's so funny what you're doing, right? Read it. I am gonna read it. It does say that, but can I say this?

You go, what time is it? I'm at dinner. That's at 6.50. Seven o'clock, the dinner was a 730 dinner. Okay, stop, okay. Then I say at 650 immediately, just get here from 830 to nine. Then you text me at 1030 after the show's over.

Sorry I couldn't come. After the show's over. So the whole time I'm like going out to the lot is like I don't see Andrew's car. Hey guys, is Andrew here? No, no show, right? I'm running around like a fucking animal dude, right and I'm going he's not here And then at 1030 when the show's over then you text me and that's the truth right here You can read it right here truth

So your honor I rest my case Now I have a surprise for you. And then the next day you call me and go hey, can you? Do something racist for my Korean buddy? I'm doing an interview for racist. And then the next day you call me and go, hey, can you do something racist for my Korean buddy I'm doing an interview for? Racist? I just wanted some Korean language. I wanted some words in Korean. No, Your Honor, I don't want to do something racist

against another Korean person. No, I wanted words to help me understand. Is somebody in there? That's shaked. Is somebody in there that's shaked? Is someone in the cake? Yeah, somebody's peeing in there or something's in there You know what it is. You know what it is, huh? It's fucking Carlo

Right Carlos isn't here right and he's in here and I'm gonna say this right now, dude If Carlos pops out of there, I will literally get up and leave the podcast Alright, I don't want anyone to get out get out of there until we're done with this podcast All right, I don't want anyone to get out of there until we're done with this podcast. Right, so an hour later, that better not open into the end. Who's in there? I don't care who's in there. What if it's someone that you love?

But it's not. What if it's someone you love? It's Carlos, because he's not there. You think I'm dumb? And let me say something else about last week about the fucking front letter, okay? All right, and I was on therapy today and I swear to God,

on my mother's life, if something pops out of there until we say thank you for being a fat friend, I will fucking leave. I don't give a fuck. Alright. Okay? So whoever's in there, I hope you took a piss and I took a shit, cause you're gonna stay there for the next hour.

Alright? And so that's the fact. Whoever's listening, I know if you're a girl, beautiful girl, whatever a stripper, whatever, what if it is a beautiful girl? I'll forgive it. But if it's Carlos Herrera, right, I will fucking leave. Come on out, beautiful girl. Go get him! Go get him, Mr. Cake! Oh, I just you listen to me that was the rule Go that's good. Go get him go go go go out there with him

Three hours later Just go for today. This is, no, that's crazy, bro. Why, why? It's crazy. Andrew, can you back me up for once? Look, first of all, I back you up on a constant basis. Okay. I've never not had your back.

Yeah, yeah. Hash this out with him. Tell him why you're really upset. I'll tell you why I'm really upset. Clearly he's really upset. I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna, cause I went to therapy today and I thought about it. It's not about the cake, is it? No, why I'm really upset. Clearly he's really upset. I'm gonna tell you, because I went to therapy today. It's not about the cake, is it?

No, it's deeper than that. Tell me what it is. I'll tell you what it is. When I was in eighth grade, okay, I bought parachute pants. MC Hammer pants. Because I was break dancing. All right, and there was a group,

Major Tomo or something, I don't know what they were called, you know what I mean? But they were like the break dancing group. That was the crew. Crew, and they were like, but they were like the big dancing group of my middle- That was the crew. Crew, and they were like, and they heard that I wanted to be a part of it. So they go and show up to this warehouse

because there was an industrial zone in Poway. So my mom dropped me off there, and I went there, and they weren't there. And I walked home crying. And then a couple of months later the same crew goes yo we're so sorry about that go to Tommy Hudson's Tom I forgot his last name but um party tonight is a Friday and I showed up there was no party and it wasn't even his address it's not funny at all dude I don't know it's fucking horrible right

and then I cried again yeah I mean Carlos stop it Bob stop sit down stop stop laughing honestly dude what are you doing good let's talk all right honestly can I say one thing as a friend it's what I'm saying is I understand the pain but you constant you guys constantly do it. Who's you guys? I'm not, why am I? You were a part of the water game. Was I a part of the cake at all?

I wasn't a part of the water gig. He was a part of the fucking Trump letter. Was I a part of the water gig? That was fancy. And at the end of the day, I look like a fool. Is that good? I'm a fool. Stop.

I'm a fool. But can we be honest? Oh, I'm the blind leading myself in the blind. I think this is all a you issue. And I'm glad fool! Stop! I'm a fool! But can we be honest? Oh, I'm the blind leading myself and the blind! I think this is all a you issue. And I'm glad you went to therapy, because I think you have very real issues about people not respecting you when you think me and Macon don't respect you when in fact we do. And we're just trying to be funny and make you laugh. It doesn't make me laugh.

Can I make two million people laugh? Okay. Dude. Can I say one thing about- I swear to fuck a god. laugh it doesn't make me laugh can make two million people laugh okay dude dude I swear to fuck I got you I swear to fuck God dude what are you doing you want to go to blows you want to go to the blows with me okay that's it bad friends boxing that's it no he'll beat me because he's younger and more athletic thank you you know I mean well don't give him that okay, so now about the thing about them tricking you I don't like that that makes me I don't like that

You're the wizard behind the curtain what you talking about. Yeah, it's not true. Yeah Andreas fuck you dude listen. You're the wizard behind the fucking thing right? I'm a co-host you don't get pranked ever Prank me. I don't want to because that's not my style. That's right exactly. That's your style What how I had nothing to do with this and by the way him out of the cake wasn't a prank I didn't have any dude by the way who told me well, okay, let's come clean When did I learn about the cake? Okay Yeah, I had nothing to do cake okay yeah I know but how am I getting roped into this because you texted him to pop out of the fucking

because I knew he was in it that's how I know you think I'm'm like, you, when he was in there, you texted him, pop out. Yeah. When I directly said, don't do it, right? So who was the fuck? He can't breathe in there. Who was the wizard, dude? You're the wizard, dude. What do you want?

You're full of lies. You want him to sit in the cake for the whole show? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not a good show. Fuck you, dude. That's not a good show. I know, it is. No, it's bad.

It's so funny to think that he's gonna be stuck there for a whole hour. He doesn't care miserable He was he was sitting there just fine. I said come out you know yeah Yeah, so don't tell me that you had nothing to do with it I had no I literally he built it and I learned about how do you know he's in there because I'm not a fucking idiot There was three people in the booth every time that he's not here. When? There have not been times that you haven't been here. When I know he's back in Texas and you do too. Right, so in my mind I was like, I don't know his schedule so I'm not here.

Yes you fucking do. I saw the thing wiggle and I go, he's in there, right? And in my mind he's the last guy I wanna see right now. How would you not know what his schedule is? So we talk every day. So anyway, what I was thinking is that, you know what, I'm gonna punish him. It wasn't gonna, trust me, this is more punishment.

And then you texted him like the wizard that you are, dude. Come out. Right, and you're like, come out. Which means to tell me there's something about it. And anyone listening, the fans, all right, you know that I speak the truth. This goes back to the fucking him not showing up to my show. It's all linked together, you know?

Now I have to say something right now that I'm gonna come clean. Yeah. Okay? I lied about those stories. I'm about to break dancing. I know. Yeah, and Tommy Huddle, I don't know. Yeah, I knew those were lies.

Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? You can't dance. Oh, I'm a dancer then. You cannot dance. Watch me. Get up and do dance. Oh, I'm a dancer, dude. You cannot dance. Watch me. Get up and do it. I'll dance out of here.

Fucking do it. Yeah, because if I dance out of here, right, you're gonna call me and come back. Well, we need to finish the two million. Don't ask me to dance out of here, because I will. You know what, dude? Don't threaten me.

Don't fucking threaten me. See what I mean? Uh-oh. Two million subs. Two million subs. Oh, in there. No, no, no. Yeah.

What? Two million subs. We're not at singing. We're not, we have to respond to some million subs. Two million subs. We appreciate every single one of you. Oh, watch it, Alan's constantly. Two million subs.

Watch it constantly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turn it off now. Turn it off now. We did it, all right? So. By the way, that's jazz? That was jazz?

I love jazz. So where we at now? Now, okay, so, you know. Sorry I couldn't make it to the show, I was trying to secure something for us. Okay, that's good. And I'm sorry that I didn't call you back with those names because I.

You were on a date. I was on a date. But it bothered me because it made me realize. It made me realize. It made me realize that girl was more important than me even though I've known you for almost 20 years. Yeah, and having dinner with your friend Charlie Day. That wasn't, that's first of all, you're making stuff up.

I wasn't. And Scott, Jason Bateman, and all your friends at a fancy Hollywood dinner. See, this is you trying to grab onto something. I don't know what happened. This was, I was trying to secure something for us, business. Is it plausible? Okay, and I would like a little backup. Is it plausible that-

You can't say I'd like backup. Yeah. You got it. No, is it plausible, check it out? Is it plausible that he would be having dinner with either Charlie Day or Jason Payne? Totally. No. Thank you.

Andreas dude, we're gonna do that show together. It's plausible unless he said he wasn't. That's right and I said I'm at a business dinner. That's not a business dinner. You're an extension of his dick. You always have been and that's why I betray you. The Harry Potter. Yeah, yeah.

You're so glued to him and you're so, crawled so deep in his ass. This is him. You can't even see. Holding onto my cock. I know, that's better. Yeah, all right, you're a fool. A business dinner where I'm trying to secure a deal for us

which I wrote in the text, I'm trying to close something for us. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yet another thing I'm doing for this show. Oh, here we go. Let's hear, oh, you wanna hear we go? Let's hear we go, let's hear we go. The game show, the animated show. Let's fucking, here we go. Let's hear, oh, you wanna hear we go? Let's hear we go. Let's hear we go. The game show, the animated show.

Let's fucking, here we go, pal. Yeah, what about my resilience? What does that even, what? What are you? You know, it's so funny. Yes. Resilience doesn't count anymore. Have you noticed that in our society?

You know what I mean? Dynamic, dynamic personalities, you know? Laziness. Being authentic. Being lazy. Being authentic. Being lazy. Being authentic. Being lazy. Charismatic.

Charismatic, right? You come from a time of do less, get more. It's over now, pal. Do nothing and get more. You do nothing, that's actually right. You're right. That's where I come from, and I've risen. Because that's the truth.

You're welcome. And you know what, you're welcome. No, you're welcome. Yeah, you're welcome. No, you're fucking welcome. You're very lucky to have me. You're very lucky to have me. You're very lucky to have me. And I've said that out loud so many times.

You can clip it. I've said it on all these other podcasts that I'm so lucky that Andrew asked me to do this podcast. I adore him. I've said the same thing. But I haven't seen one thing that you said that about me. He knows that's not true. Anyway.

Bring up the interview with Dan Levitari. Oh, bring McCone into it. Yeah, you seen it? All right? No, I said bring up. You see it when you're so caught up on this fucking ass. Bring that, I can show you so many, with the episode of Theo. Oh, I'll bring McCone into it. Yeah, you seen it? All right? No, I said bring it when you're so caught up with this fucking ass. Bring that, bring that. I can show you so many with the episode of Theo.

No, let's not do that. That's right. All right, let's move on. Because I'll prove you wrong. Yeah, yeah. Anyway. And the fans know that. The two million subscribers, thank you so much, and the fans know.

Thank you so much, guys. Thank you. And this is just a little road in the bump of the road. But let me say. It's a little road in the bump. So let's resolve it, okay? So um. I had nothing to do with it

Okay, Luke you want to get mad at someone you haven't yelled at fucking him once I get I'm getting all this bullshit Oh, and they're gonna talk to him again. That's not true. Yeah. Yeah, it'll take a while It's insane then block his number and delete it right now, okay? It's gonna fuck up the show a little it will fuck up the show you want me to know okay? Well, then well well then don't say you're not gonna talk to him again cuz yes You are yeah in like sporadic OK, well then I won't. Well then don't say you're not going to talk to him again, because yes you are. Yeah, in like sporadic, like when I called you today. Oh, what time are we starting tonight?

And then what'd you say? Seven. And that just hung right up, huh? Yeah, I knew it was a power move. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. A power move. A power move.

So you're doing power moves. What is the last time I did a power move? You just almost walked out on the show Gold belly. Oh, look. I have gold belly on my phone. Do you know why during kovat? It was the only way I lived It's how you lived. Yeah, right. I got pies from South Carolina. I got pizzas from Chicago. I got Cakes from New York. I got the best food from all over the country through Gold Belly. It's the best. Have you heard of it, Andrew? I know it very well.

I love Gold Belly. It's this amazing site that we order from. You get the most iconic, famous foods from restaurants all across the US. Doughnuts. And they ship it to your door for free. Ramen. For free. I love getting Chicago deep dish Lou Malnati's and I have it in my refrigerator anytime someone

comes over and I say you want to watch football game We and cook a little deep dish. I go. How'd you get that deep dish? And y'all go belly y'all man. I like barbecue man They ship the legendary Franklin's barbecue straight from Texas to your door And sometimes if I'm missing my home of Miami, I mean mommy I get stone crab from yos from Joseph Miami Baby, it's a dish from a one-of-a-kind restaurant or meals from world famous chefs like in a garden Daniel Blurred or Jose Andres gold belly has you Covered if you're looking for that perfect gift or want to impress your friends and family with an epic meal next time you host

Go to gold belly comm and get free shipping and 20% off your first order with promo code bad friends That's gold belly comm code bad friends for free shipping 20% off your first order with promo code badfriends. That's goldbelly.com, code badfriends for free shipping, 20% off your first order. Talk space. Oh boy, I had a lot of trauma growing up and you know how I fixed it? And I'm working on it through therapy and no one does it better than Talkspace, y'all.

It's gotta be challenging in this new world to find an immediate therapist that's the right fit for you. And I gotta tell you, it is kind of a pain. It's not easy. You gotta get recommendations. It's hard. With Talkspace, they make it affordable. You can search for in-network

that are with most of your insurance providers. And most insured members have a zero dollar copay. And as two people that take therapy seriously, I think it's important for people to get stuff off of their chest, off of their mind, and out into the world. Also, Talkspace is the number one company that does this. Yeah. Right?

They're the leading virtual therapy provider, makes getting the help you need easy, accessible, and affordable. Talkspace therapy and psychiatry are covered by many insurance plans and employers. Most insured members have a $0 copay. You can easily sign up online, get paired with a licensed provider

that's the right fit for your needs, typically within 48 hours. You can also switch providers at no extra cost. Talkspace makes getting help convenient because you can take your appointments from the comfort of your own home, car, shower, backyard, neighbor's house, wherever you want. As a listener of the podcast,

you're gonna get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com slash Bad Friends and enter the promo code. Space 80. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com slash Bad Friends. Enter the promo code. Space 80.

To get $80 off your first month and show your support for the show. That's Talkspace.com slash Bad Friends. Promo code is. Space 80. Blue chew. I'm 53, okay, sometimes my ding dong don't work. And how do you activate your ding dong? I activate with the best thing out there, which is Bluechew.

I have it. You know, Carlos, I use it, right? And I tell you about my experiences. Oh, yeah. I always take one. I know, me too. And it works so good. One for you, one for me.

Yeah, one for you. Two for me, one for you. Okay. Yeah, but I take it and y'all listen to me right now, okay? It totally works, right? Have better sex with Blu Chu. Blu Chu is the original brand offering chewable tablets for better sex. And start now.

Blu Chu is offering a combo so strong, it'll knock your socks up and your neighbor's socks up. You'll have to move towns with the amount of noise you'll be making. That's right. Bobby gets harder than bamboo and you should too. Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at BlueChu.com. We got a special deal for our listeners. Try your first month of BlueChu for free.

When you use the promo code badfriends, just pay five bucks for shipping. That's promo code badfriends. Visit BlueChu.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChu for sponsoring the friends. Visit bluechu.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank bluechu for sponsoring the podcast. But another time. Showing off in front of the girl that you're dating and not just texting me three Korean words that I asked for, power move.

I'll give you another one. I have so many too. Lying to our fans about putting me on the fucking flyer when it was already sold out, power move. I'll give you more. I got so, dude, I have so many lines that we don't believe. Let me address that. Can I address that?

In the middle of the recording of the animated movie that we're doing, you literally said, I'm done no more. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Power move. Yeah, that was a power move. I got a couple. All right, so I-

Throwing your keys at the valet in the store. Throwing your car keys at the kid. When? What's his name? Ramsey? You threw your keys at him. I watched you do it. He's my opener.

You can't throw your keys at him. You can do whatever. I spit on his back. You can do whatever you want with him. Yeah, you can. You spit on his back when you're loving him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You weren't loving him.

So let me say something about the show. I did lie a little bit. Yeah. The show was sold out. Of course it was. And I added your name bit. Yeah. The show was sold out. Of course it was. And I added your name late. You don't need anybody's help. You're a shooting star.

So that's being still, I was still excited that you were gonna be there. I'm sorry I had to finish dinner. And I'm sorry that I was, you know, in the midst of a romantic date and I forgot about your fucking call. But that's what scares me. You're gonna fall in love and forget about me.

Oh, here we go. That's what I talk to my therapist. You fell in love years ago, guy. What? I lost you years ago. That is beyond untrue. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's ridiculous. You wanna get into it?

Let's get into it, dude. Let's get into it. Yeah, yeah. She took you away from me. She did. And I'm so glad it's out. That's so stupid. And when I look at her, there's a deep resentment.

I do love her. But you know the truth is, I think you really do like this girl that you're seeing. And you're a little scared and nervous and you're vulnerable and you seem a little on edge. I'm already friend zoned. So you take it out on us? You, you, fuck.

But that's what you're doing. What you fucking did dude, the water, right? The donut, right right the fucking trump letter I've had enough angry girl all right angry grandma. I mean you could even rattle up more There's so many different lands borderlands reviews borderlands reviews Yeah, yeah, thank you so much borderland reviews all right how many do can I take from you right you don't ever prank him wait But time out Do you hear what you're you hear what you're saying? What it's all Carlos. I know so why are you taking it out on us?

I don't get it. Because you because when you came in here, you're like I have a gripe with you I do fucking that golf thing that hurt my feeling. Yeah hurt my feelings that you didn't tell me and that's why that's not true The reason why I didn't give you the you didn't give me the thing because you just you didn't care because you're with that girl And you didn't give a shit. You didn't care about my shell. That's not true. End it there No, why can't we be even you always have that leg up because it's not where broke up Let George Michael sit to the other guy. I don't know the other guy's name is like yeah, man You know mean George Michael said I'm George Michael. I gotta go. Yeah, that's what you're gonna That's what you just tried to pull you try to George Michael. No, you just tried to George Michael your Paul Simon

I'm art fun. Come on buddy. Let me tell You're George Michael. No, you just tried to George Michael. You're Paul Simon. I'm Art Fungal Fungal. Buddy, let me tell you something. Let me tell you who I really am. Oh, here we go. Watch this minute. You know who I am? I'm Shifty. Who are you? I'm Shifty Shellshock.

Yeah, you are. I'm Crazy Town. Yeah, yeah. You're my butterfly sugar baby. And if you don't fucking stop messing around, you're gonna lose me. I'm not messing around. I was, you know, this is how relationships.

You're my butterfly. Don't call me that. Sugar baby. Don't call me, you know, this is how relationships. You're my butterfly. Don't call me that. Sugar. Baby. Don't call me that. Come, my lady. Come, come, my lady. Yeah, don't call me that, man. But anyway. He died? Oh yeah. Yeah.

Oh shit, I didn't mean to, I had no idea he died. And he's a friend of mine. I thought it was rude what you just said. Still? Did he really die? That's not fake. Yeah, shit, shit, shit. I didn't know he died.

You've never heard of this guy. Yeah. No, he would have. NA legend. This guy's an NA legend? Yeah, shift shift shift. I didn't know he died. You've never heard of this guy. No, he would have. NA legend. This guy's an NA legend? Yeah yeah yeah. How did he die? Probably narcotics. Relapse. Well that's not cool. That's not funny.

Like somebody we know in here. I really didn't know. Who? Carlos? Carlos, yeah. What's been going on, Lohs? See, his, you know how he's very sensitive, and he just like out of there, he just was like so defensive, right? Right. It's drug behavior.

That's drug behavior. Yeah. Oh, this is such a manipulation right now. See, even what he just said there, dude. Yeah. That's part of it. That is? Well, he knows the signs, so go on, tell me more.

What else is it? That's it. That's it. That's it. Carlos, are you on drugs? Marijuana only. And Xanax. You get psychosis with that. Wait, Xanax and Lexapro?

Yeah. And weed. And weed, yeah. So now. Do you not, why Xanny? Just to chill. Lexapro is depressive, right? That's a-

Xanax calms your heart rate down, it relaxes you. Well, common warning signs of relapse include glamorizing past drug and alcohol use. Bobby does that. False sense of control. Well, common warning signs of relapse include glamorizing past drug and alcohol use. Bobby does that? False sense of control. Wait, wait, wait, what? Don't you glamorize like the past?

I don't. Okay. I'm shameful of it. Not engaging in sober fun. Yeah, I'm always, I'm Mr. AA convention guy. I'm on the dance floor. Sudden changes in behavior. No, I'm straightforward. I think what happened today was a little sudden.

I wasn't. It tracks well with who I am though. It does track for a while. That's not sudden. That's not sudden. Hanging around old people in places associated with past use. Yeah, him, Carlos.

Well, that's bad for both of you guys. That's bad for both of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What can we do to get you off weed? He's not gonna ever get off. Do you need it? Get me on other drugs? No, no, Carlos.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You don't need weed. But I think I do. You do, every day? Every day, yeah. All day. I need something. You're back all day now. Just in like when I wake up and then like at three

and then at six and then at nine and then at midnight. So when you wake up, after you eat, high again, high at lunch, high at dinner, high for here. Are you high now? No, because on shoot days I stop around three. Yeah, but just those five times. Thank you. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Because I don't want to smell in front of Andrew, or you. Yeah. I don't care about, if you smell like weed, I'd rather you try to not get high for a while. I mean, I just think that some of these warning signs are a bobby and that could be like a new thing for therapy next week.

What are you doing? It's smart. It's working like a charm. You see what he's doing though. Talks about the past constantly, has a false sense of control over his life, hangs out at the comedy store, even though it's been 40 years,

changes behavior constantly, isolates all the time, never goes to meetings, doesn't do sober fun. I went to a meeting Monday, what are you talking about? Yeah, but that's not a lot, just one a week, and doubting the recovery. How many times are you going a week? I'm like one a year. Okay, dude.

Yeah. One a year. See what he's doing? See what he's doing? I see exactly what he's doing. Yeah, yeah. He's combative. Well, what he's doing is I see exactly what he's doing. Yeah, he's combative. Well, what he's doing is trying to pit you against him.

If I'm the owner at Home Depot. Here we go. I don't know, that doesn't seem likely. Give me somewhere else. I'm the owner of Ichiban Japanese restaurant. I see it now. Right, right. And we have a new waiter.

Who is it? Carlos. Oh. I'm the owner, I own a chain of them. You do. Right. And he starts pulling pranks on me. Oh, he's pranking the owner. Yeah. Yeah. Pranking the owner. Like what he's, you know, he's the owner is going to have enough. He's putting his balls on the walk. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. He's goofing. Yeah. In the stir fried noodles, he puts his butt hairs. Oh no. Which is something that he would do. You know what I mean? It's

good from morale. The owner's wife would think no one wants come on their hairs. Oh no. Which is something that he would do, you know what I mean? It's good from Aral, the owner's wife would think. No one wants cum on their tofu. All right, that's you. Tofu's pretty bland. That is true. It does help. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you keep that.

I like to cum on their tofu, but I would be like, no more hair on the fucking stir fry. All right, they complain all the time. Right, but it's like you would you prank him the owner of a chain We've been having this conversation for years Bob look at that, but what am I would you print Jeff Bezos? What what's my chain? You're an Ichiban sushi what I'm what's mine an Irish pub. You know he's not yeah, he's not pranking me at the Irish pub No, no, no, he's not even a big campaign. I wouldn't get a job. Exactly. No, no, no, no. He's not even, he can't, I wouldn't get a job there. Exactly, dude. I get it.

You hire who you love and they betray you. Yeah, I just don't think that in a situation of any boss, you know what I mean, employee situation, that the employee would talk to the boss or do things like that. But he thinks, in this environment, I guess, if we weren't doing this, we'd be friends, but this is like more of a business.

I get it, yeah. Right? There's an example though. Give me an example. One day you walked off the set and said, I couldn't be here, but I'm right here. That's true. That's true.

Today. That is true. That happened today, right? That happened literally today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. I get it. Yeah, yeah.

It doesn't feel like I'm the boss. All right, let me change gears. Okay, go ahead. Because this is gonna make you mad. This made me mad. We're gonna be, we're gonna be. And has this to do with me? No.

Oh, then go ahead. It's gonna hurt your feelings, it could hurt mine. It's actually gonna piss you off, because it pissed me off. But has that anything to do with bad friends or our comedy? No. Okay, let's go. So I'm sitting down there,

I had to fly to Vegas yesterday, I'm just having lunch. This guy's rapping and chatting with me. Nice guy, very nice. Somehow, somehow some way he gets into the chair We're chatting. What do you do? Dad, I'm kind of throwing everything away because I just want to eat lunch and then he goes Is this thing that you're shooting is this like a comedy thing? I said, not really. It's kind of an interview show, you know He goes, oh, yeah, you like comedy so far. It's good

Let me can I judge your story from now sure I'm here sure right bueno story well yeah it's positive you like comedy because he now knows who you are no no he doesn't know but that's what it sounds like grass right now no I'm saying he doesn't know me because he goes do you like comedy stuff and I was like yeah okay you're now you now you get it I know now and so I'm kind, uh, yeah. Okay. You're now you now you get it. I know now. And so I'm kind of being passive. Yeah, no, no. Yeah.

Like, and then the bartender chimes in. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Have you seen? Have you seen killed Tony says to the guy, oh dude, have you, you know what about that? You're seen that show? Yep. Have I have to ruin my 200 fucking get ready.

This one's going gonna hurt way harder. It's not even done? The guy goes, I love comedy. You ever run into, cause I said, I live in Los Angeles. You ever run into Joe Rogan out there? I said, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he lives in Austin, I think now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to, we're closing the door. Yeah, I've tried, I've done it four times. I just want to eat my chicken wrap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then finally he goes, yeah, we go to a lot of shows. And the girl goes, I do too.'ve done it four times. I just want to eat my chicken wrap. Yeah. Yeah, then finally he goes Yeah, we go to a lot of shows and the girl goes I do too. I just saw Adam Ray He doesn't have two million subscribers Yeah, the bartender and the guy are both like, I love Adam, right?

And Adam, our buddy, he's killing it! I'll tell you another story. I wasn't gonna bring this up, but this happened last night. This is real, dude. What? I do a show. We love you, Adam.

We're kidding. I don't. I love you, Adam. Right now we don't. No, I love you. No, no, no, you know you don't. I love him so much. It's a war.

It's a war with us, Adam. All right, so I'm gonna tell you another thing. Last night, you know, I'm the guy on the list. Sometimes you're the guy. You're you're always the guy, right? Do well, right and then I get a tech. Hey man, you there at the store. I Go yeah Ron white. No, who's that? You mean fuck him on my way Theo Oh Theo right your buddy. He shows up. Yeah, not even on my way. Theo. Oh, Theo. Right? Your buddy.

He shows up, not even on the lineup. A group of girls in the hallway, they had already seen me perform. Loved it. They didn't say anything. Yeah, they loved it. Right? They see Theo and they go,

can we get a photo with you? I'm standing right next to Theo. So they all grew up, right? And then one of the girls saw that I was sad. Say the line, you know what I mean? Can we get a photo with you, Theo? Oh, Theo, can we get a photo with you? Sir, would you take our picture with Theo?

That's what it was about to happen. No. But one of the girls goes, you can be in a two. No. No, no, no, don't, don't. No. I've had enough. No Nobody likes us anymore. We're old news babe. I know dude. We're old news. Yeah, it's over

We should do falling down part two. Can we make you happy? There I don't at this point. I don't think to that I bet we can't in the White House Carlos I bet we can. You're part of the White House. Carlos. Hold on, stop. Stop. No Bob.

I swear to fuck. I bet we can make you happy. I bet you not. And what you're about to do doesn't make me happy. I'm gonna be even more mad. Let's play the video from our boy. Here we go. Already, I'm not happy.

The sweetest prince on earth. Yeah. Hey guys, I've been in Tokyo for less than 24 hours and it's been awesome. I don't feel sick at all or anything yet. And I saw some four leaf clovers on a building that made me think of Andrew. And then I saw a guy on a poster

that made me think of Bobby. So thanks very much for sending me here. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? That's you. So thanks very much for sending me here. That's you. Wow. That's you in the corner.

Wow. Day two and I don't feel sick at all. He's having a blast. Oh, that's great. He went there alone. I'm trying to think of some kind of gift to get for Bobby and Andrew just as a way of saying thank you. So I've just been on the lookout for that. I saw like a place that was selling bars of gold yesterday.

And you can get a really little one for like $35. So I was thinking maybe something like that, but I don't know if that's, if they would rather have that or just the money. Oh. The coolest museum. Wow. He loves trains. Yeah, I see that.

He loves. Wow. Airbnb is across the street from a tattoo parlor and it gave me the idea that maybe a good way of saying thank you and expressing my gratitude would be to get an tattoo that says thank you or says bad friends or something. But I just don't have any tattoos and don't want any. So I don't know if I'll do that. Carlos asked me to buy some women's underwear from a vending machine. So I'm going to try to find a vending machine like that before I leave. Are those used? They are. So they're used women's underwear and they sell them in vending machine. They don't wash them.

No, his adventure getting them is right here. Oh, you smell them? What do you do when you get them? Smell, put in your mouth. Oh, God. Rocket Money! Oh, my God. I love Rocket Money. Do you know why? I love saving money.

You do. You know how many subscribers I used to have? It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. Three video games, a meditative one, and some of these I don't even use anymore. And one time you were paying for like 13 game apps or something like that. That's what I'm saying.

And it bleeds money, right? So what does Rocket Money do for you? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bill so you can grow your savings. I save hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars

every year because of Rocket Money. Yeah, because you were blowing it, man. You were just signing up for stuff. And let them negotiate the bills for you, by the way. They scan your bills to find opportunities to save. You can ask them, negotiate for me. They'll deal with customer service so you don't have to. It's easy.

Rocket Money has Dashboard that gives you a clear view of your expenses across all of your accounts. That's exactly right. It's so easy. Easy create a personalized budget with custom categories to help keep you spending on track. See your monthly spending trends in each category to know exactly where your money is going.

Rocket Money has over five million users, has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app

and enter our show name, Bad Friends, in the survey so they know we sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about it from our show, Bad Friends. Shopify. Andrew, nobody does selling better than who? Shopify.

Of course, home of the number one checkout on the planet Earth. That's right, and the not so secret secret was ShopPay that boost conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned. How much? 50%. Holy moly. Way less carts are gonna go abandoned, Bob,

and way more sales are going where? Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up. Yay! So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell whatever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between. When you're thinking about businesses that are selling

through the roof like Allo, Allbirds, or Skims, everybody be loving these Skims. I love Skims. You know what you think about, great product, sure, cool brand, brilliant marketing, blah, blah, blah, but the secret of the business behind the business, behind the businesses, businesses, business. That's right.

Is Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout that Skims uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash Bad Friends all lower case. Go to Shopify.com slash Bad Friends to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash Bad Friends all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash Bad Friends to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash Bad Friends. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure.

Stay two nights and get a $50 Best Western gift card. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. Carlos asked me to buy some women's underwear from a vending machine, so I'm going to try to find a vending machine like that before I leave. I found the vending machine Carlos is looking for. It's really hard to do it.

Used. It does say used. It says used. Dude, look at what he did for you, Carlos. I know, it. So awesome. How much are they? Like four Japanese quarters. Four Japanese quarters. Oh, and they come in like a toy ball.

Yeah. Wow. That's incredible. Is this just a grocery store? I got it and I put it. He wants it far away from him. Yeah. So great. It's got air holes on it so you can smell it.

How long was he out there for? He's still out there. No, we didn't buy him a return. How is he going to get back? That's not on us to figure out. We put up the Airbnb, no? We gave him a one-way ticket. No Airbnb.

He paid for that. We gave him a one-way ticket to Japan. How is he for that. We gave him a one-way ticket to Japan. How's he gonna get back? I don't know, bud. I'm sure he'll- We should get him back. Do we want to get him back, you guys? I don't think so, but- Leave him there for a while.

Okay, we'll leave him there. We'll just leave him, but he'll be fine. Yeah, he'll be fine out there. He texts me every morning. He seems happy. I think he's loving every second of it. I got these chocolate chip cookies, by the way, if you want some. By the way, can this be a segment of the show where we literally just sent him around the world

for the next like couple of years? Yeah. I just want it, literally let's fly him from Japan. Next one Yemen. Yemen? Yeah, yeah. Look at tickets to Yemen, Yemen or Oman. Yeah, yeah.

But let's fly him from Japan to another location. Let's see how long he just stays out of the country. Yeah. Can we do this? Carlos, text him and ask him if he wants to go somewhere else. Okay. That'd be great.

Just fly this kid around the world So Korea would love but no we want him to go the other way. Oh, I want him to keep going west Can you go to Moscow? No, you shouldn't go there. Why why Moscow's nice. It's a country at war So are we yeah, we're always in war. We're always at war man. Yeah. All right, we'll send him another place Ukraine then yes I'm Ukraine Yeah, Keeve see war. We're always at war, man. Yeah. All right, we'll send him to another place. Ukraine then. Yeah, send me Ukraine. Yeah, Kiev. See if there's tickets to Gaza.

See if we can send him. See if we can send him. Wow. Can I take a second to say something tragic? I have some tragic things. Heartbreak. There was a school shooter on FSU's campus today. I know.

And obviously this episode will be- Two people passed. How many people? Two. Did you guys see the video on the internet- Two people passed. How many people? Two. Did you guys see the video on the internet? No. McCone showed me he got banned. A girl was filming, a girl?

Guy, girl? McCone, is that a girl? And then it was a girl, I don't know, we don't know. Or the girl was dad, we don't know who was filming. But you saw a girl dead. There was a girl on her phone, the video went viral for a second, she's just filming a body on the ground

and she's drinking a Starbucks walking by. Like it's not a big deal. Honestly, like this is the kind of stuff where you're like, I don't know what's happening now. I don't know what's happening now. Everybody's in a pure panic. Juan Carlos Gomez Lopez. Is that a new basketball player? Who is that? Juan Carlos Gomez Lopez. Is that Luis Gomez's brother?

All right, so this is what happened. This kid, American citizen, born in Atlanta, Georgia, went to Florida, got pulled over, and then he was in ICE custody. But if he's an American citizen, why, I don't understand. And then the mom showed up with his fucking birth certificate. Do you know what the... And the judge said, ICE has him. Well, there's also, he's got too many names.

Go back up. It's like, yeah, it's like, if you meet. Well, there's also, he's got too many names. Go back up. It's like, yeah, it's like, if you meet a white guy named Kevin, Steve, you know what I mean? Bob Allen. Smith. Yeah. Juan Carlos Lopez Gomez.

Yeah. That's the problem. You're giving them too much information. That's what it is, yeah. Yeah. If it was just Juan Carlos, fine. I mean, we're- Or Vladimir.

Vladimir. Vladimir Gomez. Fine. That's fine. That's totally fine. Yeah, that's why I only use one last name. Yeah, Rosende, because it's probably like Rosende Capano, Fosado, Parano.

Do you have a lot of those too? Pochino, Cosano. Yeah. Yeah, why? Well, you have a middle name and we have two last names. It's for, you know what theirs is for? Land and lineage and all this bullshit. We keep that women, the mama.

They're not special, dude. The record for the longest personal name belongs to Herbert Blaine, Wolfensschlagen, Gauss and Hoffenberg and Dauph Sr. Wow. German-American typesetter. Yeah, this one won't go to ice. So Juan Carlos Gomez is gone as he's being deported.

He got released. Oh, he's back. Yeah, but he was still in custody for hours and hours. Crazy. That's crazy. But he came back. And then for Kilmar Abrego Garcia. Again, too many names. I know.

But you know, the Senator went down to El Salvador to visit him and then he sat down with him. Really? Oh, that's him. Yeah, yeah. It's crazy. Give him something to drink. Just water. Yeah. Just bring him a coffee, bring him a soda.

Yeah, but he's at a maximum, you know what I mean? Gulag. That looks pretty minimum to me. That looks like a cracker barrel. Yeah, yeah, took him to a Denny's after, you know what I mean? But I don't think he's out, I think he has to go back in. By the way, I had, while I was gone, I had Waffle House, haven't had Waffle House.

Love it. I haven't had it in 20 years. Yeah. Phenomenal. It's the best. We don't have one in LA. We don't have any Waffle Houses in Los Angeles. In California.

What? Yeah. Well, it's funny, cause we're always on the road, so I see them all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I see them all the time. And I always point, I go, I want to go there. It's the best. Or Hardee's. Hardee's is good too.

Oh my God. Hardee's is what? What's the same chain Carl's Carl, Jr Okay, this this dude. I ate I ate late at night Waffle House. What'd you get? I mean we got the what is it called the it's this combo. It's it was eggs two kinds of meat potatoes We got multiple waffles to share cuz I was hungry. I was little I don't know what kind of bread This is but it's called Texas bread. No, yeah, it's like- Why is it so thick and delicious? Well, because it's like, what do you call it?

It's a garlic bread, butter bread, garlic. Yeah. Texas toast. Texas toast, that's what it's called, Texas toast. And then, so I'll get a breakfast sandwich with that. Oh. You know what I mean? But you know, they're a little rude.

At Waffle House? Yeah. Can I explain why? Why? Do you want to work a 24-hour restaurant for $6 an hour? Yeah, that's right. And deal with drunk fuckheads at 3 in the morning? You're right, right.

I tip my hat to these people. Oh, yeah. By the way, here's the thing about Waffle House. I'll give them a shout out. They love fights. Oh my God, look at that. They posted this. This is Waffle House posting it from their account.

Wow. This is incredible. You know why they're doing this? This girl, she didn't finish her waffle, and that's the taking care of it. You gotta finish your meal at Waffle House. Oh my God, that girl had too much Waffle House. That's Waffle Mansion right there. Wow. Entire waffle subdivision happening.

Yeah, look at that, oh my God. So this is an entire Twitter page dedicated to fights at Waffle House. A lot of times it's the staff fighting. And also, just push pause for a second, it only happens to be black people. I didn't even notice that. I didn't even notice that.

You didn't? I did not. Neither did I, I don't know why. Here's the wild shit, you always see a manager jump in, like this lady, this old white lady jumping in. Hey Sheila, take a hike. You're gonna get killed. You're gonna get killed, yeah.

Look at her, guys cut it out, not by the burner. If you're in the wall falls, you and I, we would already be in our car. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if somebody, like I've had TMZ put a camera to my face. I hate it. What do you think of this? I don't say anything.

I get so nervous. Have you got, they had you at the airport before? Oh yeah, and I always pull them aside, I go, you know, all right. You know what's so funny? The last couple of guys that have come up to me have so polite and nice. Like, we're not famous enough for it to be a thing.

But the guy came up to me at the airport, he was like, oh, Miss Santino. I was like, hey man, I just got off, I don't want to do this, I'm so, Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was like, oh cool. Yeah, that's what they do. It was very nice.

Yeah, they're very nice. No, but they don't do that to everyone, dude. The way that real famous people get harassed. Like, look at all the shit that's going on with Justin Bieber. They can't, leave this fucking kid alone, man. And they they're like oh, he's being mean to the paparazzi He's like yeah, no shit, man. No shit leave the kid alone This is posted an hour ago

Yeah, they're yeah, it's insane dude leave the kid alone I mean obviously obviously it's it's like he's twisted up right now he's just like a smurf let him be let him be little papa smurf yeah I can't I would you be able to live like that no yeah me either no the good news is I'm not that talented so I'll never have to worry about it. Yeah, me either, me either, me either. Yeah, the Kanye stuff too. It's like, you can almost say part of his crack came from the paparazzi.

Like this, like filming him in the morning. Filming him in the morning. But that's just crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. I think part of the reason these people go nuts is because of this like constant, it's constant. Not healthy. Neither is the fame though. Beyond the paparazzi, the's constant. Not healthy. Neither is the fame though.

Beyond the paparazzi, the fame itself isn't healthy. That fame, being that famous isn't healthy. What, who's that? No, it's right there to the left. Young Bobby Lee, look. No, go back. Oh, that's, that thing right there, the shorts. The first one.

Yeah, that. That's you. Oh my God. Wow. Wow. Wow. Look at how's you. Oh my God. Wow. Wow. Wow. Look at how young you are. I know.

Oh my God, my comedy was so bad back then. Well, at least some things never change. Ha ha ha. I wanna eat one more cookie I don't know. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I wouldn't say anything. Yeah, I don't know what was worse but Cohen saying that or the weasel laughing I Can't describe you I can't figure it out. Like what am I more angry about?

You hear me? Carlos, you wanna pop up and defend yourself, buddy? I was laughing because I knew how mad Bobby would get at that. Yeah, yeah, you know what? When I do my special, you guys aren't coming. Oh, like when I'm 45 years old? I'm doing it in January.

Of what year? January was two months ago. All right, whenever I do it, you're not gonna go. Are you serious? Yeah. But I do wanna go. You're not going. There's no way.

I want positive people there. I was just kidding, Bobby. I was just kidding. No, you're not going. You're not going. And you know, a lot of people on the streets are just kidding Bobby. No, no, you're not going. You're not going And you know a lot of people on the streets are just like we can't wait. We'll be there We're going to support it All my community the community tim dillon everybody everyone's like into it And the people that work there into your special. Yeah, they can't wait. You're a crusher and is finally, you know, I mean, yeah

you know and a lot of fans can't wait and you know what I mean? Yeah. You know, and a lot of fans can't wait. And the people that are close to me that are part of my team supposedly are against me. What does that mean? What would you do in a situation like this?

Well, I didn't invite any of those guys to my special. I know, that's right. Right. Right. Well, I wouldn't want them there. Did Carlos go to yours? No. Yeah. He wasn't invited. Yeah, yeah. So- I wouldn't want them there. Did Carlos go to yours? No.

Yeah. He wasn't invited. Yeah, yeah. So, um. But that was deliberate on him. You won't be getting an invite. You know that's gonna break his heart. That's like, that means the most to him.

Who? For Carlos. Yeah, it's like sad. We've known each other since like fucking Obama was president. Okay. Like, you've met my parents and like, you get mad because like you thought you were gonna be like.

And your dad's very disappointed, I'll tell you that right. Surgeoning. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, my parents and you get mad because you thought you were gonna do like. And your dad's very disappointed, I'll tell you that right now. It's a surgeon. No, no, no, let's go back though. What's insane is that you're mad at me because you thought you were important enough to be invited. I can't do a slam.

The leader of the free world's house. I can't slam you? Oh no, now you're turning it around on me. I slam him over to his dad, right? When he slams me, what, I keep it quiet? Keep it quiet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He gets immediately defensive, like,

oh, but you, you know what I mean? No slams, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No slams allowed? I can't do that? No, I did that. I'm learning, I'm learning right now. Yeah, let us think.

Is this a no slam allowed? Yeah, it's a one way street. How about this, is Fancy invited to your special? I think so, yeah. You do? Yeah. He's been, is Fancy invited to your special? I think so, yeah. You do? Yeah. He's been kissing your ass all day. I know.

I think so, playing it right. I think when I leave in May, taking my parents on vacation, not to be sound, it's probably our last family vacation together. Well, my parents are getting older. They're not gonna travel a lot. So like, it's weird. It's probably our last family vacation together. Well, my parents are getting older. They're not gonna travel a lot. So like, it's weird.

It's fucking weird to be this age and to be like, I don't know. I don't think my parents will ever get on a plane again with me and go somewhere far. Wow. Where are you gonna go? I'm taking them to Italy. Oh, great.

But I think like, when I go away, because I'm gone with them for like a week and a half, why don't you take a Bobby vacation and get away and disappear from all this shit and don't do anything business, just disappear for a while and see where you fall into, see who you meet, see what you get into,

like what Dax is doing in Japan, why don't you do that? Why don't you disappear for a week? Yeah. Seriously, shut off your phone. Yeah. And disappear. Why, why are you not, why are you shaking your head? Attics shouldn't do that.

Wait, why? I'm not asking him to use, I'm saying go be one with yourself. Okay. You don't trust him? I mean, alone in a hotel room without us knowing where he- He's alone in a hotel room all the time. Yeah, all the time. He just did it. I where we're. He's alone in a hotel room all the time. Yeah, all the time.

He just did it. I just did it. He was just in Columbus. Yeah. Okay. I trust you enough to know that you're comfortable in your sobriety. Yeah.

Don't you think so? Yeah, I could have go to a foreign land though, I think. Where? You can come to Spain. No, Barbados or something. Barbados. Yeah. What? I'm gonna be 100% honest with Spain. No, Barbados or something. Barbados. Yeah. What?

I'm gonna be 100% honest with you. Yeah, not good. I don't know what that is. I don't either, I just heard it. Liar or something. I actually don't know where that is. I don't know where it is. I'm not even kidding.

Yeah, Barbados. Is it in the French Polynesian, no, I mean, is it in the- Oh my God, look how small it is. Virgin Islands? Virgin Islands. Let's go, let's go. That's how small it is?

Yeah, French, what is that? That's the Virgin Islands, am I wrong? Look at the pictures. Go to Barbados, Bob. Yeah, I wanna go to Barbados. Can we get him to Barbados, guys? No, I can do it. Look at it. Wow. Don't you think? Bobby on a beach. Barbados. Bobby in Barbados. Bobby in Barbados.

Bado, Bado, Bado, Bado, Bado, Bobby in Barbados. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bop, Bop, Bop, Bop, Bop, Bobby. See those, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, in Barbados, Barbie, Barbie, Barbie, Barbie, pop up up up up Me see those the coral reef over there. Yeah, that's where you're gonna see my dead body Three days bloating they haven't found me in three days. I wash up under that coral reef. You're not going swimming Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, you're beaching it. Yeah, you're sitting on that my torso is in a shark's mouth Look at I see you in that cabana right there. Yeah, dead. Smoking a cigarette.

Heroin overdose. Stop it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop it. That's where I'll die. Go somewhere foreign. After May, I just want to say this now. It was really good to know you.

Everyone here. No, no, no, no, no. Thanks for all the laughs. You have to wait until January. You're trying to get out of the laughs. You have to wait until January. You're trying to get out of the special. Oh, is that another slam? Trying to get out of the special. Yeah, I mean, what you're gonna do in 2032?

That's what you get. Hey, so we genuinely wanna say thank you so much to our fans. It means the world to us that you guys have been around five years. Oh my God. We've been doing this. And we're up to two million subscribers. That's incredible.

We're gonna keep making you laugh with beautiful content. Please come see us, because we don't know when we're gonna tour again. If you're in London or Dublin. You gotta come. You gotta come see us, because we might not be able to tour for a long time. Bobby's got a special coming out

that he's gonna take some time down because he's been working very hard. So please come see us in London and Dublin. And we really appreciate the fans. You guys mean the world to us. Thank you so much. We mean it, I love it. From the bottom of my heart,

honestly, before Bad Friends, I feel like I was just not doing anything important or making a wave in my creativity. And the family that we've gotten from Bad Friends has been such a surprise, and it's really keeping me alive, I think. So I just really appreciate the love and the support. I'm gonna get a new staff eventually.

You know what I mean? So there might be some changes, but Andrew and I will always be here. We'll always be here for you. If you do, and if you at home want some changes, if you can submit to take over for one of the staff members, please email CarlosInTheBooth.gmail.com. That will go to Carlos,

but we'll have to have someone else flag it because he will just delete all these emails. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, go to Andreas maybe. Yeah, Andreas, you will give him the login. CarlosInTheBooth.gmail.com and Andreas will read those. And by the way, send in a video of you, what is that, auditioning for that job.

You can replace one of these guys. I have no problem with that. I have no problem with that either. I actively delete resumes that come in. Well, we're gonna make sure that, we're gonna change it now. We're gonna change it so that Carlos. If you ever wanted a job on here, I've deleted it.

Another thing we can't trust. That's what I'm saying. It's like we cannot trust this guy. We're fucked. He's smoking weed, deleting emails. Yeah. All right, thank you for emails. I know. All right. Thank you for being a bad friend. Bad friend. Yeah Woo-hoo Yeah