Bad Friends - A Little Chit Chat

Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode is brought to you by Peloton. Spring is a great time to start a new workout routine, with the weather warming up, that feels easier to get into the rhythm of things. Whether you have 20 minutes or an hour for a Pilates class or a guided outdoor walk, Peloton has everything you need to help you get going. Get a head start on summer with Peloton, and choose a flexible payment plan that works for you at one Peloton.ca slash financing. Hey, bad friends. Look at these shirts. We got, I love our favorite shirts and it's got all of us on it. All the crews on it.

Starting point is 00:00:34 McConey's on there. I'm on there. Bob. The goop is on there too. Who else is on it? Carlos and Jesse. Who's that Asian guy right there to the left? Where? In the pink? Where? To the far right. This? Yeah. That's your mom. That's your on? Who's that Asian guy right there to the left? Where? In the pink. Where? To the far right. This? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:00:49 That's your mom. That's your mom. Oh, that's great, mom. I'm Bobby Mom. My mom's... And she's on the shirt. Go to badfriendsmerch.com to get it. Badfriendsmerch.com.

Starting point is 00:00:57 Or on YouTube, it's down below. Also, hey, we're coming down under. Hello, hello. Where are we going down under? Down under. We're going to Sydney, Australia, Brisbane, Australia, Auckland, New Zealand, Melbourne, Australia, Adelaide, Australia, and Perth, Australia. We're going down under and we're going to be adding shows

Starting point is 00:01:11 if we can, we want to do more shows, we want to come see you guys, so go get those tickets now. Get it now. BadFriendsPod.com, BadFriendsPod.com. They'll sell out, they'll sell out. Well, they definitely will, so go get them. BadFriendsPod.com, go get the tickets. You two are bad friends.

Starting point is 00:01:23 Who are these two idiots? Woo. White dude, and Asian dude the tickets. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Woo. White dude and Asian dude. Woo. You two are disgusting. Woo. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends.

Starting point is 00:01:33 I've got Sleep. Apnea. I got Sleep. Four in the morning, wake up. Apnea, I got. Four in the morning, wake up.

Starting point is 00:01:42 Every four in the morning, I was up at six today for some reason. My well woke me up to piss well your body is athletic It's like Caitlin Tom. What's her name Jenner? Yeah, no no the one no Clark Clark. I'm attracted to her I'm a little bit more of a Caitlyn Jenner than Caitlyn Clark. I'm a Clark girl I do I think she's so hot you don't you don't think she's hot No comment. Yeah, I think she's hot then pleading the fifth. He's got to plead the fifth. No, I know I don't I don't think she's hot, dude. Pleading the fifth, he's gotta plead the fifth. I know, I don't think she's hot. She's not, no.

Starting point is 00:02:08 I love it. No. Muscular titties. No, but she's a talented ass. She probably has muscular titties, no? Big time. Yeah. There's, that's her, is that her boyfriend or her husband?

Starting point is 00:02:16 Oh, I could, yay, Clark, Kate and Clark, I'm better. Nice try. Not husband, no. Not husband, no. Look at him, he comes so quick. Oh. Not husband, no. Look at him. He comes so quick. Oh, he's the worst. Her biceps. You think he shoots as far as she does?

Starting point is 00:02:32 Yeah, yeah. She shoots as deep as she does? Yeah. I've shot from deeper. That's what she would say. But dude, it's like three pointers. That's hard, huh? Mm-hmm.

Starting point is 00:02:41 I've been watching, dude, I've never watched basketball, but her, I've been looking her up, like, her reels and stuff. I go been watching, dude, I've never watched basketball, but her, I've been looking her up, like, you know, reels and stuff, I go, oh, that's good. You know, I don't know what Stephen Curry or any of those guys do, but like, I'm sure it's pretty good. Yeah? Stephen Curry, the greatest shooter of all time. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:56 What are you talking about? I knew him, know him. I know him, I knew him, I know him. I know him, but you don't know him because you don't even know his name. Yeah, I've worked with him before. He's a four time NBA champ, two time NBA most valuable player for MVP and NBA finals MVP and NBA all-star game MVP

Starting point is 00:03:09 and NBA Clutch Player of the Year and inaugural NBA Western Conference Finals MVP. Best shooter we've ever seen. Probably one of the best. Nope, the best. Did you see Civil War? I haven't seen it, you know why? Why?

Starting point is 00:03:23 Because I know how it ended. How does it end? The wrong team won, man. That's right, man. It's so funny, it's like. I saw it. Oh, I didn't ask you. Yeah, that's interesting that you say that.

Starting point is 00:03:36 I didn't ask you? He didn't ask you at all. Yeah. I just look at the box. Kid looks at the box. Yeah, I look at the box. Yeah, yeah. And first of all, you didn't even tell us

Starting point is 00:03:43 or approve with us that you brought a new blood to the studio. Yeah. Get on the mic here, kiddo. Look at the box. Yeah, look at the box. Yeah, yeah. And first of all, you didn't even tell us or approve with us that you brought a new blood to the studio. Yeah. Get on the mic here, kiddo. Look at that kid. What's your name? Hi, I'm Ryan. Hitler's dream.

Starting point is 00:03:52 Hitler's dream, dude. Yeah, you have hair down there yet? I'm sorry. I mean. You have hair down there yet? I'm 21, I'd hope so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When did you reach pubes?

Starting point is 00:04:06 I mean, I think the same age as everyone else. I'm looking for a man in podcast. Five, six, blonde hair, blue eyes, podcast. I'm looking for a man who does podcasts. You're like an internet dream. You're like this cute little young faced, a blonde haired kid who you fresh off the boat. You look like they

Starting point is 00:04:26 Opened the box, you know, they cracked the box at Port Authority. Yeah, and he's like I'm Ryan. Yeah Yeah, what's your name? Ryan Zayac Ryan Zayac's. Yes. Yeah. Are you just petting him Carlos? Yeah, that's insane What are you doing? I want a Furby. I want to put sesame oil on you I don't know why eat sushi off of his body like one of those sesame oil on you. I don't know why. Eat sushi off of his body? Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of those- Put sesame oil on his body, do it, listen to the sun. What's your favorite thing to eat, Ryan?

Starting point is 00:04:49 Favorite thing to eat? Yeah. Probably- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I love when white dudes show all their teeth when they talk. By the way, he's so nervous. This is so me.

Starting point is 00:04:58 Ryan, we love you. You're part of the family now. Yeah, relax, everything's good. I love you guys too. What's your favorite food? Favorite food? Definitely pasta. That's the go-to. 21's your favorite food? Favorite food? Definitely pasta. That's the go-to.

Starting point is 00:05:07 21 years old, you're a single guy? Yes. Good, good for you. You're out there, what do they say? Playing the field? Hey, how good is your Riz? How good is my Riz? It's not up for me to say.

Starting point is 00:05:17 Wow. Who's it up to? The scientists? Up to the universe, I guess. Oh, the universe. Okay. You Christian? Christian kid? Christian conservative kid?

Starting point is 00:05:28 Catholic. Catholic. That's the same thing. Can I ask you another personal question or is it uncomfortable? Sure. Ask me whatever you want. Are you a virgin? No.

Starting point is 00:05:36 Good. Very good. Body count. What's your body count? Okay. No? Too much? Yeah, you know.

Starting point is 00:05:44 What? Citizen? He's never gonna say. I can guess you but you'd have to get there in a different May I guess? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I I'm not gonna say I'm see what I mean. He'll never say I know they don't right but I can tell by your eyes Three Dude, I was gonna say I knew you were I could feel you feel you. Cause one is ridiculous. The first one was an accident. Yep. The first one was a full fluke. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:08 Right, fluke? Yeah. The second one was a willing participant. What? Are you guys psychics? Yeah. We are. We are.

Starting point is 00:06:16 Actually, thank you. I'm a psychic. Thank you, Google it. All right. Anyway, and the third one was a family member or? No, third one was actually a professor in college. Oh. Fancy B. Fancy B. Wait, wait, you were his professor?

Starting point is 00:06:34 No. Not exactly. Not exactly. No, but he was in, you know, he taught at the school that he went to. Did he really? Yeah. This is a kid from Quinnipiac. Quinnipiac. He went over there. Yeah, we went to that fucking dump. What a beautiful campus.

Starting point is 00:06:46 Piece of shit. He's a shit campus. It was a nightmare, dude. I had to piss so bad. We took nine hours to get out there. I hated every second of it. And then they shot us in a prison holding cell. Oh, dude, that was like a new... No, it was more like a news, but like a Bosnian news

Starting point is 00:06:59 center or whatever, right? Yeah. Like hostages were going to come in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't good. Give us the money or we kill. I was like, hostages were going to come in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn't, it wasn't good. Give us the money or we kill. I was like, we're shooting a podcast, sir. No, it's a great college and you did great and good for you for going there.

Starting point is 00:07:11 And I'm glad you're working in the biz now and you're part of our new family. Give it up for Ryan guys. Thanks for coming. I'm not done. I'm done with it. I have one more. Yeah. One more question.

Starting point is 00:07:21 Yeah, let's get them again. Did you wrestle? Did I wrestle? No, I played football though. What position? I hold on. Yeah. You're like five seven, what are you? Five eight at the most? Five seven, yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:30 Five seven, 165? More like 168. Oh, are you fucking kidding me, Ryan? I almost guessed it right in the nuts. I'm three off. He said it like it's like 160. I was much heavier back in the day. Okay, you were 174 back then.

Starting point is 00:07:43 But in college, do they have like a special football team? Olympics? Like a football team that's not like, it's not varsity or JV, but it's more special? Well, they have a thing called special teams. He could have been on that. So you're on a special team. Like kick return.

Starting point is 00:07:56 Oh, no, that's not what I mean either. I played in high school to clarify, not in college. Oh, well, that makes sense. Were you a back? I was actually a center. You were a fucking center? Yeah. You were a center?

Starting point is 00:08:11 Yeah. I was much, much heavier. You know how big you have to be to be a center? There's some of the biggest guys in football. Bobby, that's the guy who snaps the football. It's like Jason Kelsey. Yeah, which is the opposite of you. Way, way, way better than me.

Starting point is 00:08:22 No, well, yeah, he's a Hall of Famer. This guy's going to... Yeah. Different, different story. I a Hall of Famer. This guy's gonna, yeah. Different, different story. I would have not guessed that. You seem the low and low and, you could have been low and strong and you could have been a good back.

Starting point is 00:08:30 That's me now. Low and strong. You know what, I like you so much. Thank you. I like you too, Bobby. And that means- I like your struck of court here. That goes a long way with me. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:08:41 And already, already in that booth, you have more love for me than all three of the men that's bad behind there Yeah, that's not insane. That's insane. That's crazy. You like flattery. No fuck you, dude Yeah, I'm tired. You know, honestly, I am tired of your shit as of late I'm tired of your attitude your little fucking digs your little snaps, dude I'm fucking tired of it. Do I come to to work, right, and I wanna just hang out with my friend, talk, be funny, but you come here with hostility,

Starting point is 00:09:10 and you're smashing me here and there, dude. And I don't like it, dude. Calling me fat, calling me old, calling me like you can't fuck in the sack. Stupid, he says stupid a lot. Stupid to me, right? And it's like, oh, you. Ugly, ugly, he says that a lot.

Starting point is 00:09:24 Yeah, yeah. You call me a piece of shit Yeah, piece of dumb dumb shit then beetle dung shit beetle dung shit. Do you call me? You know nice? I don't like it. It hurts my feelings stupid. It's almost like you're bad friends. I See a smirk well, but it's a, stop, stop, stop. Stop. So that, when he said that, no, just stop. No one said anything. Andrew, when he said that, it made me rageful.

Starting point is 00:09:54 Pissed me right off. Yeah, it made me so rageful. It pissed me right off. Yeah, yeah. And it's a feeling of like, it's a feeling that I get as a TSA actually. Yeah, why is this taking so long? Or when they go, we need to check this one.

Starting point is 00:10:05 No you don't. Yeah, and there's nothing in there, I know, you know what I mean? Leave it alone. And that frustration, it's like a similar feeling. I also wanted to stick my fingers in his Adam's apple. Yes. And dig it into his body. Yep, slowly.

Starting point is 00:10:17 Slowly, yeah, yeah. So no more love for you. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good job, Ryan, we love you. Big guy, we love you, Ryan. By the you. We love you, Ryan.

Starting point is 00:10:25 By the way, this is a legitimate question. I feel like you guys are like bad friends. Oh, fuck. That's going to be in my dreams, then. You're going to wake up in the middle of the night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck that guy. It's almost like you're like bad friends, friends, friends, friends, friends, friends, friends, friends, friends. Stuck on a loop in our head. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll never get out.

Starting point is 00:10:45 So what's that? Did we hire that guy? We hired, so we, do we- He's an intern. Are you blushing now, Ryan? Yeah. Maybe. Yeah, yeah, he's blushing now.

Starting point is 00:10:52 You did great, buddy. You did great, buddy. Is he, is he, he's an intern, huh? Just so it's only for the summer? Yeah. Yeah, because after the summer, you know what I mean? Hey, go.

Starting point is 00:11:02 But what could he do to become like a regular, like get a job at Seven Echis? Get somebody else's brain. Dude, you're being mean now. Like he's still there. Oh, he can hear us? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing, he's good.

Starting point is 00:11:15 He's a genius. He's a genius. No, he's a good dude. We're just joshing with him. We're just, yeah, rub, rub, rub. We're just ribbing him. We're just ribbing him. He could be a long-term if he wants to stay.

Starting point is 00:11:24 We want to stay in LA and become a full-time All right, well then do it hire the kid. That's no one cares. Anyway, let's move on from him. I give him my cones job Not that he does much Mmm, yeah, it's in the blood. It's in your blood now. You're an asshole It's something about well, he's right then it's caked in it's raising your blood now. You're an asshole. It's caked in, it's caked in. It's raising a baby now, and I know that it's gotten to him a little bit, because now he's gotta be like a dad all the time,

Starting point is 00:11:51 and he doesn't wanna be a dad. He wanted to be a rock and roll star, you know that, right? That was his real dream. And then he became a shitbag director. Yeah, incredible. Every day my agents talk me out of Spain. Yeah. No, it these son even a joke. I'm not it's not even a joke Every day they call and then the higher higher ups call. Are you sure about Spain? Yeah

Starting point is 00:12:13 Why yeah, it's gonna just put a wrench in the whole fucking thing. I go. I'm yeah, I love him I'm gonna do him a favor. I'm gonna play a zombie. I'm like, I know but inside we read it What I haven, but it's like, we read it. Not true. What? They haven't read it. Even worse. Yeah. Let me, okay, you're right. Let me say, we tried to read it.

Starting point is 00:12:34 And we just couldn't get past the first page. Yeah. Yeah, so yeah, they did try. And the first page is just the cover page. Yeah. What's the title? What's the name of the film again? Jabberwocky. Yeah. Is it really called Jabber the cover page. Yeah. What's the title? What's the name of the film again? Jabberwocky.

Starting point is 00:12:45 Yeah. Is it really called Jabberwocky? Yeah. Like the dance crew? You do know about the dance crew? I do not know about the dance crew. Yeah, well, I think you should reconsider because there's an extremely famous dance crew

Starting point is 00:12:55 called the Jabberwockys. And they're in Vegas and they're- They won America's Got Talent. Yeah, they did. They might be based on this- Are they in it? Poem. But you do know culturally,

Starting point is 00:13:06 people will think of this in America. Yeah. Oh, I see. Oh yeah. They're like, oh, it's a documentary about our favorite dance crew. But they watch it, they're like, it's just a shitty zombie movie.

Starting point is 00:13:15 What is the meaning of Jabberwocky? What is that? Jabberwocky is a poem in Alice in Wonderland and it's about a nonsensical creature. By Lewis Carroll, Jabberwocka by Lewis Carroll. Whoa, interesting. But I do think unfortunately, pop culturally, people will think of the dance crew from Vegas.

Starting point is 00:13:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Twas brilling and the slithy tubes, did Jaya and Gimbal in the wab, all mimsy with a bogo roll. This was based on, this is your movie? Is this the script for your movie? Yeah, it is. That's the opening monologue, right?

Starting point is 00:13:52 Be the Jebawakamai style. So I'm a security guy. That's the only lines that you have. Yeah, so I'm a security guy, right? I'm sitting there and I see the fucking zombies. Go to the beginning. One take, one take. Yeah, I'm just like looking at my thing, right?

Starting point is 00:14:03 You know, putting my, you know, I'm right, and I look out and I see that I go, ah, twice brilliant. Do I have an accent? Sure. Yeah. Good, good, good. I need one for that. Spanish. Oh, twice brilliant. How do I- No, that's good.

Starting point is 00:14:17 No, that's good. Yeah. That is good. Twice brilliant. And the slitty twos. Yeah. The gyre and gimbal in the way. Perfect. Yeah. The gyre and gimble in the way. Perfect. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:27 All of my me were the- Memzy. Okay. All Memzy were the Borongolves. Borogrog. Borogrog. Borogoghs. Borogoghs.

Starting point is 00:14:36 And the mormraths are great. Perfect. Very good. Perfect. You get the next line. Beware the Jabberwock, my son. Bejaws that bite the claws that catch. Beware the Jabberwock my son, bejaws that bite the claws that catch. Beware the Jab-Jab-Bird and shun the Firm-O-E-ous Bandersnatch. Okay, can you go back to the

Starting point is 00:14:51 first? Bandersnatch is good. I think that's the right way to go. Yeah. Twice brittling and the slivvy toes did gyre and gimble on the wave. Right? Right? Or no? All Memes were the borogovs and the moon rats outgrabe. Dude, that's the movie. You got your film. Take that. That's it. Take that to Spain. You record that?

Starting point is 00:15:16 I'm not going to Spain. Take that. We're still trying to work it out that I'm gonna, you know, I called him yesterday. I still might be able to go. I promise you, I would bet a million dollars you're not gonna go. Why? There, I would bet a million dollars you're not going to go. Why?

Starting point is 00:15:26 There's no way you're going, dude. Don't try to trick my mind. Look at your face right now. I'm not going to get tricked by your mind games right now, dude. It's diabolical. Did I call you yesterday? And I said, we might be able to work with that. He's not going to work it out.

Starting point is 00:15:38 I promise you won't be there. I'll fucking put a million dollars on it. There's no way he's going. A million? I think we can work it out if you put a million dollars. $500. No no way he's going. A million? I think we can work it out. If you put a million dollars. $500, $500. No, no, no.

Starting point is 00:15:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not doing it. Well, let's talk about movies. Because I'll tell you this. Let's talk about movies. All right, last week, I'm in Portland. I got a call about this. What?

Starting point is 00:15:56 From Oliver Tree. Oh my God. Called me about you on set. Not happy. And says he might get a lawyer. Apparently, he said, you faked COVID, you made a whole deal, you ruined a day of shooting, and then you threatened Oliver, now he's gonna sue us.

Starting point is 00:16:17 He's gonna sue you. What I did was while he was in makeup, I went literally to the side, I didn't know anybody in the crew. And I go, attention please, I swear to God I did that. I said, attention, please. And everyone stopped. What are they doing? It's like 30 people, right? Wardrobe, everybody. I go, so Oliver has monkeypox and he's patient zero. He's the monkey. Right? So nobody touch him. And I was being, I'm fucking dead serious. Right?

Starting point is 00:16:41 He's going to sue you. And then later I found that he was all fucking mad about it. He said he's gonna sue you for defamation. He texted me the whole thing this morning. It was a joke. Well, he's suing you. Does he not look like a monkey? He said he's- Can I say that?

Starting point is 00:16:53 Does he look like a monkey? Raise your hand. Look at this. I'm the only one? Look at this. Yeah, yeah. He says to me in a long text, I'm gonna call him now. Guy faked a COVID scare, didn't have to play a role, acted like a diva.

Starting point is 00:17:07 He won't respond to my texts or my calls. I had to fly out my lawyer, Jeremiah Jeffrey, to clean the whole mess up. He's gonna sue you for defamation. Yeah, I'm gonna call him right now. Well, do it because now he's gonna sue us. Did he really text you though? He did, I just read it off.

Starting point is 00:17:22 Oh yeah, but you're a good improviser. That is true. No, but I did, there, look. Okay. He has more lines. Look. Wow, that's long. Yeah, he told me everything.

Starting point is 00:17:31 Yeah, yeah. He's not gonna answer now. I'm gonna leave a message. I'm sorry, the person you are trying to reach has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet. Oh, fuck you, oh my God. That's actually smart to not set up a mailbox. Hmm. I Just got a text from your ex Kaila hmm about what? Nothing

Starting point is 00:18:02 No, I can't get dinner, I have to do. Okay, that's how she's doing. Hold on. You'll be the last person she would ask. I can't stop by after dinner. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. Red ginseng royal jelly. Well, what is it she says come to hotel?

Starting point is 00:18:19 I mean, I can play the same game with your wife. All right, you can. Actually, no, you can. Yeah, go ahead, please. I'm not gonna. All right, you can. Actually, no, you can. Yeah, go ahead, please. I'm not gonna. Swabidopolis. I wanna tell you something. Okay, go ahead.

Starting point is 00:18:32 I feel like, look, look at me in the face real fast. You're my best boy. And I love you, and you know that. No, I wouldn't. Well, I wanna come clean. I wanna come clean to you about something. Is it going to make me mad? I feel like it's serious. Well, it's not serious, but I do want to tell you something.

Starting point is 00:18:51 It's going to make me mad. It's not. It's not even that big of a deal. Okay, go ahead. Ooh. Okay. Uh-oh. Oh no.

Starting point is 00:18:59 I'm starting a podcast with Kalyla. No. Uh-oh. Oh no. I'm starting a podcast with Kalyla. No, no, no. The woman that was here, the old lady that came in here. Yeah, McCone's wife. Was not McCone's grandmother. She's internet personality named Angry Grandmother. And we put her up to the whole thing.

Starting point is 00:19:19 She is not related. And the internet's gonna be surprised that you didn't know. And I wanted to tell you, but she's got an internet following. Her name is The Real Angry Grandmother and she's very funny. Look, look at her. Wait, go to her main page. There, you see a picture of us on her main page. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Nothing gets by you, pal. I swear to God, on my mother's life, I didn't know. Well, here's how I know. By the way, for the, on my mother's life, I didn't know. Well, here's how I know, by the way, for the audience,

Starting point is 00:19:46 here's how I know Bobby didn't know. He called me, right, that night. I'm driving down to the comedy store. I'm over the hill. He literally calls and goes, "'Hey, why is she so mad at me?' And I was like, what are you talking about? And he goes, why is McCone's fam,

Starting point is 00:20:01 do you think he's talking shit behind our back to her about us? I said, no. Could I say something? It all lined up in my mind. To be real. That he could be that big of a bitch. That he would go to his grandmother

Starting point is 00:20:16 and start complaining about me. And all of a sudden there's like this family resentment. She had to fly all the way over here. So that's not your brother? No, that's her grandson. I've never met them before. No, we've never met. I thought it was just like the bit,

Starting point is 00:20:28 like when you had me sit down, I'm like, oh, he's continuing. We thought you were playing with us. But then you texted me over the weekend and you never texted me. It's not just that. I had to see Beverly about it. You had to go to your therapist?

Starting point is 00:20:41 Yes. Wow, McCone. I literally had to go to my therapist for that reason. And then I was just like, I, you know, I said my behavior, like I can't even see when I'm treating people so poorly. Right. And I'm not aware that people are, there are things going on. I was like, what is it about me?

Starting point is 00:20:59 And she's like, you have to be more mindful. No, it's fuck you. Fuck all of you. You guys are all involved in this. Go fuck yourself. I have nothing to do with it. Yes, you do, dude. How? Because you knew. I didn't know. Yes, you did. You did. They hid it from me. Yeah, you didn't know. I didn't know who that was. But I thought- So who did you think she was? His grandmother. What do you mean? And then they told me. And

Starting point is 00:21:19 then I said- When? We should tell Bobby after the episode. And then I said, we should tell Bobby. And then the boys were like, don't tell him. Okay. All right. I believe you. Carlos. No, stop, stop, stop.

Starting point is 00:21:31 Okay. Carlos said it. I believe you. I do. But- No, I knew the whole time. Beastbook Post. This spring the best box you'll open up all month is the Beastbook Post and their new seasonal lineup of must-have Box of Awesome collections.

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Starting point is 00:25:44 Rocketmoney.com slash bad friends. Okay, now I can.com slash bad friends. Rocketmoney.com slash bad friends. Okay, now I can go mad again. Yeah, fuck us, fuck us, go ahead. No, no, I'm not gonna fuck you. What I'm saying is that, wow. And I think the person- She did a great job. She did great.

Starting point is 00:25:55 Let me see what my feeling is. Yeah, close your- Who am I mad at the most? You know. It was Andrew's idea. It was Andrew's idea. No, how was it my idea? Bring his lady.

Starting point is 00:26:04 Who sent it to me? It was my idea. Yes It was Andrew's idea. No, how was it my idea? Bring his lady. Who sent it to me? It was my idea. Yes. I didn't find her. It's so funny because my anger still goes to McCone. It should. Because you should have said over the weekend that, hey dude, there was an internet lady and whatever.

Starting point is 00:26:20 Didn't I ask you that too? I said that. You said, is that really his grandmother? And I said, I think so. And you went, why would she be so mad? Yeah, yeah, yeah, why would she be so mad? And then I kind of replayed it in my mind because you said somewhere in Minnesota, she said-

Starting point is 00:26:36 She was very good at playing along. Right, so I was like, was there an incident where his family was there and I was like not available? I feel like, because I feel like I'm really good with families and I go, Hey, how are you? And I hug and all that stuff, right? Better than Andrew. Yeah, I know.

Starting point is 00:26:51 What did you just say? Thank you so much. What did you just say? Bobby's a great, he loves to ham it up. Yeah, ham it up with families. You know, more genuine real. No, no, no, no. Don't, no.

Starting point is 00:27:01 McCone, McCone. Get up to the mic. Don't screw it up. No, McCone, McCone. What are you? You were doing fine. No, what, no, McCone, McCone. Get up to the mic. Don't screw it up. No, McCone, McCone. What are you- You were doing fine. No, what, what, what? You were being honest and I appreciate it, but now this thing you're doing now?

Starting point is 00:27:12 Nah, dude. No, go ahead, say your piece. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Say your piece. It's desperate, go ahead. I was like, I was like, Andrew will say hi to my parents, Andrew will say hi to a group of people, but Bobby will go up to everyone individually

Starting point is 00:27:24 and start, you know, grabbing them and touching them. Physically assaulting them? I say hello and I move on. I'm just saying Bobby has more- I don't do that. What the fuck you- Let's not talk about the grabbing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:36 Dude, what he means to say- Is that you physically assault his family. That's not what I'm saying. What he means to say is I shake hands, I do hogs, right? And I'm really mindful and I'm really there present. I mean, you guys both have different ways of showing love, you know?

Starting point is 00:27:51 Mine's more genuine, his is more artificial. No, it's not artificial. We have different ways of approaching things. Yours is more loud and in your face. Yeah, annoying. And mine is more real and normal. More distant and more like unavailable. He's a listener and you're a grand.

Starting point is 00:28:02 He's not a listener. I would draw the line there. He's not a listener, dude. He's a listener and you're a grab. He's not a listener. I would draw the line there. He's not a listener, dude. He's a listener and you're a love. No, he only listens to himself. He can say whatever he wants. I mean, we know how wrong he is. It's insane.

Starting point is 00:28:14 Yeah. Everybody in here knows. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. Let him create his false reality. So what I wanna say is that that still doesn't give, that doesn't resolve our situation. You know, I called you over the weekend.

Starting point is 00:28:26 You texted me. I texted you, what'd I say? You said, what's up with the all eyes on Rafa? Is this a movie? I said, no, this is a Palestine movie. Oh, that's right, that's right. And then a couple of jokes. That was my way in to like, kind of like,

Starting point is 00:28:37 let's just do some small talk. You wanted to see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't care about, I knew what Rafa, yeah, yeah, what? You do not like small talk. Yeah, but I was trying to get in like, hey, and then my next thing was gonna be you was gonna be hey Is there any way I could make it up or whatever? But then I was just like no no because I thought that your grandma was acting way too fucking you know me

Starting point is 00:28:57 Intense for whatever the situation over the top. Yeah, so wow okay, so that's good, and that's not your brother and okay So we're playing tricks That looks nothing like me. He was he's like huge. No, it's a white guy. Yeah. Yeah, there's tricks and and and I guess I'm about to get everyone back I guess I'm gonna have to do that. Whatever you feel like you need to do. I need to do it I mean, it's a pretty pretty harmless thing, but yeah, no It was a pretty harmless thing, but yeah. It wasn't harmful, no. Dude, when I fucking do a special session with my fucking therapist, right?

Starting point is 00:29:31 And I'm fucking brooding about it and thinking about it all fucking weekend, what are you doing with your face, dude? I'm just mocking your bullshit. You didn't do a special session with your therapist. I did. You had to do a regular session, you brought that up. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:44 Okay. But it was special. They're all special. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, well then there we go, still special nonetheless. Therapy is special. It's special nonetheless. Okay, so you got that, anything else?

Starting point is 00:29:56 Let's just get out of the way today, guys. Let's get everything, put everything on the table and go, this is what we did and this and that. Anything else? Go ahead. I took these dick pills and it lasted too long, like four days and I didn't think they would be that potent. Four full days?

Starting point is 00:30:13 Yeah, four days. Hmm. And so I thought- Could have had a stroke by the way. No, I didn't know. No one told me. I'm telling you now, don't ever do that again. Thank you, Andrew.

Starting point is 00:30:22 You have to read the prescription. Yeah, you gotta read it. Well, you don't need a prescription for these. You buy them at a gas station on Vermont. Oh, you did like the little- Extends or whatever? No, the Mexican ones, the- It's called like a-

Starting point is 00:30:31 The Rhino or something? Yeah, Rhino, Rhino. Oh, the Rhino Cockle. There's a new one that says no headache, so I got that one. Did you get a headache? No. Okay, well then- Well, it's on the package.

Starting point is 00:30:39 Yeah, okay, I know. Yeah, but the Hot Rod 5000s give you headaches, so the Rhino didn't, so I was really happy. What's in there? Is it the same ingredients as- Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I don't Rod 5000s give you headaches, so the Rhino didn't, so I was really happy. What's in there? Is it the same ingredients as? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what's in it. I just take it and I know I get an erection.

Starting point is 00:30:52 I learned this early on. Can you not get an erection without it? No, I can, but I use it as insurance so I can have an extra fun time. But if you're attracted to the person, do you then, do you have trouble sometimes? Sometimes I will, so I'll get in my head and I'll start thinking, oh, like,

Starting point is 00:31:08 I want to watch something later. I'll like think about a million things. Watch what later, like a film or something pornographic? No, like YouTube or something. Like I'll think about later in my night and like, it'll affect me. So you're sitting with a person that you're interested in, you're thinking about YouTube?

Starting point is 00:31:21 I'll think about y'all. What? Don't. Don't. I don't think about you when I'm trying to get hurt. YouTube? I'll think about y'all. What? Don't. Don't. I don't think about you when I'm trying to get hurt. Please don't. I love y'all. I love you too, but nonetheless,

Starting point is 00:31:31 I don't think about you at all. But when I get in bed, I think about everything in my life and y'all are such a big part of it. And when I think of y'all, my boner goes down a little. Okay, when do you think about, who have you hooked? Who's the last person you hooked up with that you had no thoughts like that, that it was just free and-

Starting point is 00:31:47 High school. I hooked up- It was that long ago? No, I probably like years. You haven't hooked up with someone in years that you felt comfortable just getting a hard on and not thinking about life? Yeah, it's been years.

Starting point is 00:32:01 I have like, I take medicine for it. It's in a couple of movies. That's incredible. What for it. It's in a couple movies. That's incredible It's been at what we mean. It's in a couple movies. I saw I related to one of these characters I saw a movie called Red Rocket with Simon Rex and he had to take dick pills all the time. Oh, yeah Yeah, I love him. Yeah, I know I was like, oh, that's me. I would do the premiere over that movie. Oh, I'm jealous Yeah, that's what I do. I like to talk. What does it have to do with you? Yeah, what happened? Oh, just I was hooking up with this girl and like the insurance stopped working

Starting point is 00:32:29 and I got really upset. In the middle of it. Yes. It has nothing to do with me and the deception. I was saying, what, like, I don't care about your personal life. I could have done that too, dude. Oh, I was just talking about what's on my mind.

Starting point is 00:32:40 No, no, no, what I'm saying is, is there anything that you wanna put on the table where you lied to me or just way Yeah, yeah, but I do like life stories is really They're not in this segment There's segments dude in the show. Yeah, I just I was getting honest with my buddy Thank you for that. Yeah, I mean it's just like I can't yeah, I don't know about these people

Starting point is 00:33:04 I think we should start anew. I'm so down. Yeah, yeah, you clip, fire everybody. Where am I in trouble? Maybe the little kid from Connecticut can stay. Who, Ryan? Yeah, I don't know though. He said some things that were like suspect.

Starting point is 00:33:17 Well, he walked in and he called everyone the N-word, which I thought was insane. It was weird, yeah, yeah. I don't know why he approached. Sup, and I was like, what? Ryan, slow down. You're an intern. Yeah, but anyway, um. Well, look, if you want a clear house, we'll get these guys out of here. I really do.

Starting point is 00:33:31 I mean. Bobby, no. Stop for a second. What I want to say to you. Excuse me. Oh, is I laughing too much? Yeah, you like a hyena. Okay, I'm sorry. I don't like hyena laughs. Excuse me. Oh, is I laughing too much? Like a hyena.

Starting point is 00:33:46 Okay, I'm sorry. I don't like hyena laughs. You know that. Excuse me? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Excuse me. Guys. This guy, please.

Starting point is 00:33:54 This is not a comedy show. Yeah, I'm just trying to be... Hello? Hello. Are you here? I'm here. Are you listening? Yes. So what I wanted to say is, is that and I'm, I'm, I'm going to be truthful and really dig into my feelings here. Okay.

Starting point is 00:34:14 It's just been an adventure doing this podcast with you guys. It really has. I mean, the kind of experiences we've had, I will never forget them. I don't know why you're laughing. Yeah. What are you smiling about? Yeah, you piece of shit, why are you laughing? I'm being fucking, no, either one of you, you fuck me. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yes, both of you, stop. Like, when you get genuine, like, you know, I get-

Starting point is 00:34:34 Genuine? I get out and shit. And am I? No, it's not. Am I reading this wrong? No, they're doing it. They're doing it, right? They're egging you on.

Starting point is 00:34:42 Yeah, they're egging me out right now. And I don't like it. You know what, dude, I don't even have to say it to them because this is how I feel, so I could just say it to- Say it. I don't wanna say it to you either, for some reason. Well, say it to Cameron, then. I'll just say it to the wall.

Starting point is 00:34:52 To the audience. Well, no, just speak to the camera, not to the wall. Okay, I'll say it like that. Please, dude. Well, I don't wanna coach you. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. Please.

Starting point is 00:35:00 You do as you may. All right, so what I wanna say is the last, since the beginning of Bad Friends, it's just been an adventure. When I was a young guy, I was like, So what I want to say is the last, since the beginning of Bad Friends, it's just been an adventure. When I was a young guy, I was like, it was never part of my dream to do this, but it was like, was I mistaken because, wow, this has been a fucking wild ride. It's been one of the greatest things I've ever experienced.

Starting point is 00:35:18 And the people were, it's almost as if they were all meant to be there. We all fit like a fucking puzzle did. And when you put the puzzles together, it's a beautiful painting. They were all meant to be there. We all fit like a fucking puzzle, dude. When you put the puzzles together, it's a beautiful painting. Sometimes a rogue piece gets in there. Exactly. What puzzle is this? What puzzle piece is this?

Starting point is 00:35:33 What does this go to? Yeah. Then that rogue piece, McCone, right? But Andrew hammered it in. Yeah, yeah. As hard as I could. I said, this has got to fit. It's basically a gigantic puzzle of a gigantic butterfly.

Starting point is 00:35:48 But the rogue piece, you can tell, is the edge of a swastika. That's right. All right, so I'm like trying to jam in this little tiny swastika piece inside this butterfly, and then the whole thing becomes very Nazi-esque. It's Nazi propaganda. So what I have to do is I have to fucking un-puzzle it

Starting point is 00:36:07 to its pieces, throw it in the garbage, and go buy a new puzzle. And buy a Mein Kampf book. Yeah, you have to start all over. Well, whatever it might be. Sure. Yeah, I mean, I don't know Mein Kampf. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:36:18 Great book. Can't put it down. But I'll tell you what, you're right. I think you need to throw away this old puzzle. It's not working anymore. Yeah, the puzzle's not working. So. Yeah. But I'll tell you what, you're right. I think you need to throw away this old puzzle. It's not working anymore. Yeah, yeah, the puzzle's not working. So thank you for being my old puzzle pieces, but it's not fitting the other anymore for me,

Starting point is 00:36:31 the way it is. Oh yeah? What you doing, dude? I'm just bummed. Well, lies and deceit are gonna get you there, buddy. Yeah. That's what we're doing. You too, dude. Yeah, thank you.

Starting point is 00:36:39 Are you throwing me off the show? No, I said you too. I love you. Oh, I love you too. That's what I was saying. I love you too. Like you two, dude. You two?

Starting point is 00:36:49 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not with them, but you two in terms of love. I love you. I love you too. Hey, who's the highest, who do you think is the highest grossing touring musical artist of last year? Taylor Swift.

Starting point is 00:37:01 Correct. Who's number two? Whoa. That's a good one. I know you got it. I know you got it. Oh really? Yeah, I know you. You think I got it?

Starting point is 00:37:13 I know you do. These guys don't fucking have it. Did Harry Styles go last year? He's in there. Not two though. But he's number five. Number five, wow. Okay.

Starting point is 00:37:20 Did Beyonce do anything? Number two. Did I get it? You got it. Fuck yeah, I did. Who's number three? I don't know if I know. You're this good. You've gotten fucking three of the five. You think you can't knock out two more?

Starting point is 00:37:31 So who else went out there last year? I'm going to tell you this. Is it group? This number three. Room five. Is a group. No, but that's a very good guess. This is a group and it's a group where you go, I mean, yeah, they were very very popular

Starting point is 00:37:50 10 years ago, but I cannot believe they're still making that much money. Lincoln Park. Bigger, much bigger. Much bigger than Lincoln. Much bigger. Yeah, chain smokers. No, okay. Now you're going, you're so cold, you're freezing cold.

Starting point is 00:38:02 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're in the middle of a cold lake. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. Da na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na No, it's a solo art. Well, it's a man's name that is the band. It's a man's name that is the band. It's his name, but it's a band, but it's him. Do you know what I mean? Like he's not a solo artist because that's not a real thing. Wait, wait. Is his name in the band's name? Yeah, it's his name. Okay, well, okay. They go by him. They go by him. John Mayer.

Starting point is 00:38:58 No, but he's with, because he's with... They grateful that. They grateful that. Yeah, he's with the death. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have no idea. Do you guys know? Give it a guess. And I got this. I was shocked because I thought what's an old timer guy that's touring. By the way, Bruce.

Starting point is 00:39:11 Springsteen. Wow. Very good. Fancy Bruce. Bruce Springsteen. Really? Yeah. I mean, you could look it up.

Starting point is 00:39:19 The number is like 300 or something million. It kills it. Awesome. You know how much Taylor Swift made over a billion dollars? I know. A billion fucking dollars in one year. Yeah, it's crazy It was a top touring touring. What would I do with that money a billion dollars? Oh, I've never seen you guys again. Yeah Honestly, I would hope not. No, if you got a billion dollars, would you call me and go?

Starting point is 00:39:40 Do I think I'm done? No, no, you know what I would do? What? Give me half a billion. Half a billion? Yeah, yeah. No. Would you give me any of that money? No. A billion dollars? You give me Lissam.

Starting point is 00:39:53 I don't think so. I think I would give you, well, I would say- Outrageous, outrageous, outrageous. I would say, what do you need? 10 million dollars. For what? Just to give it to me so I don't feel jealous. Okay, but I want to, but I, okay, but how about this?

Starting point is 00:40:06 Then you have to turn in the receipts of what you buy with it. You want? I want to know every dime you spend. I want to- That's fine. I will do that. Really? Every dime.

Starting point is 00:40:13 I want to see every dime. Yeah, cash, Clash of Clans, 40,000. That kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you will. You spend that much on a video game? No, do you remember when Clinton called me and goes, no more Clash of Clans, delete it right now. Because I spent $10,000 in one month or whatever on Classic Client. Anyway-

Starting point is 00:40:29 Jesus Christ. No, I would give you as much as you wanted. No, no, no. Just 10 million. I don't think you would. Yes, I would. Because when people get money, they hoard it. What do you mean?

Starting point is 00:40:37 I'm generous. I would absolutely give you money. I wouldn't even think twice about it. I would give in this room- Yeah, tell what everyone would get. If I won a billion dollars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if I won the lottery, I would give,

Starting point is 00:40:50 well, first of all, I do my family first. What's- Would I be, no? No, I mean my mother and my father. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would take care of them. Of course, of course, of course. My little sister.

Starting point is 00:40:58 Of course, your little sister. And then when I got to the bad friends family, I would give McCone 10K. Pretty generous. That's really nice. Pretty generous. Yeah. I'd break fancy off with a mill. I'd give him a milly.

Starting point is 00:41:13 Nice. Well, he's a dad. Yeah, nice. And I'd give Carlos probably one of those, did they sell gift cards for rehab? Do they have gift cards? They don't have that. They don't? They should. No. Maybe get him insurance.

Starting point is 00:41:24 I'd give him health insurance. I'd pay for his health insurance. You can go to rehab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would give him health insurance. Yeah, yeah. And then Ryan, the new guy, I'd give him, I don't know, a couple hundred grand.

Starting point is 00:41:32 Just toss it to him. Just to see what, you know, fuck up his life. You know what, it's so fun. Just to see what would happen. Yeah, just to see what happens with Ryan. Yeah, like I have been gardening. What? Yeah, I've been gardening. What are you gardening, babe?

Starting point is 00:41:44 I'm like, right now I'm- Does my little yellow man have a green thumb? Don't call me that. What's yellow, what is yellow? Don't call me a green. If you mix yellow and green, what color is it? No, I just, the green thumb- What color is yellow and green?

Starting point is 00:41:56 Not the yellow part. What? I have a problem with the green thumb, not the yellow part. Why, you have a green thumb. Okay, anyway. I've been growing catnip. You've been growing catnip in your yard?

Starting point is 00:42:08 Outside of my, yeah, my front yard. How do you grow catnip? Is this a hard thing to grow? Available to buy and plant at any time, sunny and well-drained large pot. Yeah, so I've been getting, I got the pot, I got the soil. It's weed for cats, right? Yeah, yeah, they love it. Right? So I've been growing it, right? Right now there's only nine little pieces that stuck out.

Starting point is 00:42:26 Okay. You know what I mean? So there's only nine little grass hairs that are sticking out. But I just planted it a week ago. Yeah, anyway- So you grow the catnip. Yeah, but I experimented and I put Diet Coke in a little piece of-

Starting point is 00:42:36 Ah! See if that would work. It doesn't work. No, it doesn't, yeah, typically not. That's my point though. I don't know why you even brought that up. What was it? No, I experiment.

Starting point is 00:42:43 You're experimenting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're trying? I try, it doesn't work. I like brought that up. What was it? No, I experiment. You're experimenting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're trying. I try, it doesn't work. I like doing this now. It's water. And I'll tell you why. I'm gonna now go to carrots and other things.

Starting point is 00:42:54 Carrots is probably pretty easy to do. I think you could do carrots. Yeah, yeah. And the reason why is because of this movie. I said, it's fine. What movie? It's fuck, I don't know. It just fucking, oh, I know what it is.

Starting point is 00:43:07 Perfect days. Perfect days. Vin Vinders. So this got you into gardening. You've now got a green thumb. Oh, this looks, this was really good. This is about a little Asian guy who gardens. No, he's janitor.

Starting point is 00:43:23 You saw it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a beautiful film, huh? That's just a beautiful film. It's a film of... Just give me a second. Yeah, we are.

Starting point is 00:43:36 OK. I want to say... When I was a young man, I had nothing. Really. Hi. Really. Hi. Hello. I don't know about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:51 You actually had a pretty substantial amount. You grew up in a fucking country club. No, no, no. What I'm saying in my early 20s. Please. I mean, I'm just trying to be... Be specific. In high school, you definitely had something.

Starting point is 00:44:03 What you're doing right now is not specific. In high school, you definitely had something. What you're doing right now is not good. You're a rich drug addict. Hyena? Hyena again? That's enough, Carlos. Enough of that. Not funny. Okay.

Starting point is 00:44:13 All right, go ahead. So anyway, in order for me to be happy is I had to look at the little things in life, right? And be mindful about the things around me and find joy in those things. Right. Like for instance, I've said this before, I would work at this restaurant, and it would be like, you know, a breakfast place. I would be slammed.

Starting point is 00:44:32 It was in the cove. I would sit on the edge of the cove and watch the seals and the oceans, and that would give me joy. Just the simplicity of watching nature and the wind and all that stuff. And I had no money, no pussy, nothing. Okay? just the simplicity of watching nature and the wind and all that stuff. And I had no money, no pussy, nothing.

Starting point is 00:44:52 OK. And then since I said doing stand up, you get away from that. Right. And you want, you know, I mean, dopamine hits and you want to get to the next level, all these things that fix you, that thinks you're going to. Right. But then this I saw this movie. I was like, it brought me back to those days. So this this guy is a gardener, right? And he, no, not janitor, I meant he's a janitor, right? And it's every day he just shows up, goes, cleans toilets. But he looks at little things in life,

Starting point is 00:45:14 like the wind blowing through the trees, right? Or like, you know what I mean? People just, homeless people, and he finds little things and he finds joy in those things. And it's like, when I saw that I was like, oh shit, I think that's what's missing in my life. That's all.

Starting point is 00:45:31 If he was an Asian, would you have liked this as much? No, I have not. Yeah, I was just gonna say, that's all of it. Yeah. Yeah, that's most of it. If this was just white janitor in America. Spit right on it, right? Two thumbs down, dude. Two thumbs down.

Starting point is 00:45:42 Yeah, yeah, I'd pick it fucking the theater. Fuck that movie. If this movie was called Tough Times and it was just about a janitor. Fuck you janitor. At Best Western we can't promise you the perfect family beach vacation. We can't promise that it won't rain or that you won't get aburn, or that your family won't endearingly call you Lobster Mom for weeks afterward. What we can promise is a warm welcome and a comfortable room amidst all the joyful chaos. Lobster Mom. Life's a trip.

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Starting point is 00:47:15 Hurry in for the new Smarties Cookie Collision Blizzard. This genius treat is only a DQ for a limited time. DQ, happy tastes good. Is that him washing at the sink? No, he's at a spa. That's a spa? is only a DQ for a limited time. DQ, happy tastes good. Is that him washing at the sink? No, he's at a spa. That's a spa? That's how, you remember, you're like, that's, that's,

Starting point is 00:47:31 what I'm, what, stop, stop, stop. Look at me right now, dude. Look at me right now, dude. You're not looking at me, dude. I've been to a spa, it doesn't look like that. No, no, no, stop, stop, stop, stop. I've asked you for like five years. To sit on a bucket and wash my balls.

Starting point is 00:47:46 Shut the fuck up. That guy's washing his balls on a bucket. I know. I've asked- The only reason this works with you guys is because your penises don't touch that bucket. Your balls don't touch that bucket. You're sitting on a bucket.

Starting point is 00:47:56 He's sitting wide butthole on that bucket. Look at those little- That was me last night. Look at those little cock washers. And so what, you pull up to it and you wash your penis there? Is that what those things are? It's not just a penis.

Starting point is 00:48:06 Can I just finish what I was gonna say? And then we can go back to it. I wanna know what the cock washer is. What is that? It's not a cock washer, just stop, okay? Zoom in on that little cock washer. So five years ago, Andrew, I keep saying, let's go to the Korean spa.

Starting point is 00:48:20 I go every night, you won't go. I know. And so if you go with me, that's what the shower, like the baths look like. Well, this isn't gonna you won't go. I know. Right? And so if you had gone, if you go with me, that's what the shower, like the baths look like. Well, this isn't gonna make me wanna go. It's the best. You get really, what you do is you get the little plastic stool, you sit down, then you see that bucket

Starting point is 00:48:36 underneath them? Yeah. Sometimes it's a bigger bucket, but it's plastic. Right. Right? And you get a towel, you take the soap, right? And you, you know what I mean? You get the fucking suns going. You cover the bucket with a towel, you take the soap, right? And you get the fucking suds going. You covered the bucket with a towel?

Starting point is 00:48:46 Why? You just sit raw ass on a fucking bucket? No, that's not the bucket he's sitting, the blue thing. There's a one right by this fits, right there, that white thing. He's sitting on a blue thing. Do you sit on one of those? Yeah, that's a seat.

Starting point is 00:48:58 It's a plastic seat. But he's raw ass on it. He's open raw ass on it? That's what you do on it. No, I'm good. Okay, well then you're not good. Why do I want to sit on where some other guy's asshole was spread out washing?

Starting point is 00:49:08 What I like to do is I like to spray it down a little bit. That's not gonna do it. Anyway. Go ahead, I don't wanna go. And by the way, then you stand up and your dick is in mirror. It's like a weird, it's just a weird, this is a weird sexual. It's not.

Starting point is 00:49:22 I don't like it. Those little cock washers, I don't like. We have to do it. Tell me something, you bathe sitting, this is what you do, you take a shower sitting down. So what I do is I, so I- Do you know how many people that are paralyzed that would dream about taking a standing up shower?

Starting point is 00:49:33 That's a good- This is ableist. This is mocking the disabled. And I won't stand for this kind of shit. Go ahead. Thank you. Back to me. When I'm sitting there with the towel, with the suds, I get every piece of my body, I

Starting point is 00:49:53 scrub, I scrub, right? And I take the, you know, there's a bucket, it's full of water, I rinse it, I do it again. Then I'll dump the bucket, put fresh water in it, put it over my body, right? It's more of a, it's kind of like a bath shower. It's a therapeutic bath. Yeah, and it's, you can turn to the guy next to you and go, how was your day? I don't wanna.

Starting point is 00:50:13 What'd you golf today? I don't wanna talk to someone from Washington, what'd you golf today? I didn't golf today. How many golfers did you encounter there? No, I just, well, it's a Korea town, so it's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot. By the way, it's connected to a driving range.

Starting point is 00:50:24 Yeah, well, I was just saying it because I'm making it seem like he was next to me. I would never go. Here, here's me. Go ahead. Yeah. What'd you go after that? Hey, I'm washing my cock.

Starting point is 00:50:35 Don't talk to me when I'm washing my balls. That's insane. I don't want to have a conversation while I'm washing my balls. Although there should be a rule. Last night, I was at the Wee Spa, okay? I'm in the steam balls. Although there should be a rule. Last night I was at the Wii Spa, okay? I'm in the steam room. It's packed for some reason.

Starting point is 00:50:48 There's a lot of black people last night, which I love. Pfft. Pfft. The way you said it. I love it. Thank God for the steam. I love it, right? So I'm like in the steam room.

Starting point is 00:51:01 Then I see this tall Asian kid. You just walk in there and keep tripping on black dicks. Jesus Christ, all these things. Pick that up, will ya? And this guy, I have two rules. Can I tell you my two rules? Where I don't like being recognized. AA meetings, okay?

Starting point is 00:51:18 You're gonna get recognized at AA meetings. I know, but I don't like when they go, if they go after an AA meeting, I'm on the road. Like I just went to Portland, I went to an A meeting. And people were like, hey, can I get a photo with you? And I go, not at A, I'll do it anywhere else but here. Right, that's a private time. Because also it's like I'm one of many.

Starting point is 00:51:35 I get that. Okay, so. I get that. Steam room is another one. So last night I'm at Wee Spa, right? And I see this tall Asian guy, probably young, early 20s, and he's completely naked. And he goes, yo, like with his legs like this,

Starting point is 00:51:50 he goes, yo, like this, Bobby Lee, like this, right? And I was like, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. It drives me nuts. They cut to, I'm taking a photo with them, I don't know why. I was like, all right, let's just do it real quick or whatever. But like my point is that those are two places. If you ever see me there, don't ask for a photo. But it makes his life. Not when I'm naked in a steam room trying to relax. Oh, ah, so yes. This is my point. Why am I going to this place to do a cock washing here when I can go to a very comfortable

Starting point is 00:52:26 private place? You're proving my point. No, you- Because I go to a spa, when I go to a spa and I get a massage and I go to sit in the steam room, there's like one other person in there. Then I go in the hot tub, maybe one other guy. You know what we do? We go like this.

Starting point is 00:52:39 That's it. Little head nod, little acknowledgement. Then we don't say a fucking word to each other. Then I go in my little private stall and I wash my balls in my butthole with nice soap and I take a hot shower. And then I go up to my room and I go lay down. Okay, this is what we're doing.

Starting point is 00:52:51 And that version of a spa to me is the one I like. There's no one there and I don't have to talk to anybody. I go there to get away from chit chat. You like the chit chat. You're afraid to admit it, but you like the chit chat. I don't like the chit chat. Your next special should be called chit chat. I don't like the chit chat. No, I don't like the chit chat. You're afraid to admit it, but you like to chit chat. I don't like the chit chat. Your next special should be called chit chat. I don't like the chit chat.

Starting point is 00:53:09 You do. No, I don't. McCone even said it. You come up to his family and you chit chat. Yeah, yeah, so here's what we're gonna do. You see someone on the street and you chit chat. I don't chit chat. You're a little chit chat.

Starting point is 00:53:19 Stop doing that. A little ching chong chit chat. Oh, oh really? A ching chong chit chat for the hip hat. Ha ha ha ha. Hyena. Shove it. Fuck you.

Starting point is 00:53:29 This is what we're gonna do. Carlos, that's not funny. That's not funny, that stuff. This is what we're gonna do. And I think it's gonna be good for the show. All go to the spa? No, the wee spa. We'll all go?

Starting point is 00:53:39 Yes, we all go as a team. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Right? Bring your baby. I'm going to Andres' spa. No, no, no. And then we, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Right? Bring your baby. I'm going to Andres Spa. No, no, no. And then we're gonna do the Bulgama Room. They have bulgogi in there?

Starting point is 00:53:50 No, not bulgogi. No? No, there's a room there called the Bulgama Room at Wee Spa, look it up. Oh, that's it, that's it, that's it. That's the Bulgama Room, okay? So that's the Bulgama Room. It's 200, sometimes it's like 215 degrees.

Starting point is 00:54:03 206, it says. Yeah, sometimes it's higher, right? It's very hot. So it's a sauna. Yeah, it's a sauna. Yeah, white people just call it sauna. It's just a sauna. What's the degree of a sauna?

Starting point is 00:54:16 Google it. What's the average degree of a sauna? Well, they have- Of a dry sauna. It depends on where you go. Some places are real hot. No, no, no, I want to look at this. You're really, really, really, really, really, really-

Starting point is 00:54:24 150, 175, no. I want to look at this. You're really, really, really, really, really, really- 150, 175. Right. So the Bulgama takes it to the next level. It's like, you know what I mean? It's not regular- More sweat? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:54:36 So I can smell more kimchi pouring out of your fucking nose? God, you're being so negative right now. So basically what I'm saying is you go in there and most dudes walk in there and they walk out, but not us. We sit. We're going to sit. Until someone dies. No, no, no one dies.

Starting point is 00:54:50 No, no one dies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's the, we spell, Bulgama Room, right? I'll go in that. We will? Yeah. And you're fully closed. There's people doing hot yoga and all that stuff, right? No, no, no, no. People are doing yoga inside of the Bulgang, inside of there? Sometimes, yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:01 Absolutely not. Sit down. Then you can tell them to stop. I'll go sit down. Okay, okay. I don't want to play down. Then you can tell them to stop. I'll go sit down. Okay, okay. I don't wanna play that. And then look up the clay room. The clay room at WeSpa.

Starting point is 00:55:11 Cause Ari and I went to the Russian spa in New York and I fucking love it. You got in the cold, do you do cold plunge? There's cold plunge here too. You don't do it though, do you? I do, every, do it, you have, go there with me and I'll show you the fucking, my wise ways. Yeah, well.

Starting point is 00:55:24 All right, that's the clay room Not going to that either. Yeah, you are. Nope. Yeah, and we're gonna do that same exact thing How many all the bodies my shoulder as a pillow? I would be like that dude. Look how relaxed you and I like there I Would do it for the photo. Yeah, it's fun So anyway, we go there right a room. Hey, hey room. No, yeah Don't you think that'd be a fun thing to do as a group? Yeah. We're gonna do it, when do we, let's set a date now.

Starting point is 00:55:49 Do it. What? Do it. All right, let's, can you guys do it Sunday during the day? Yeah. You have to bring your kid. Which Sunday? This Sunday during the day.

Starting point is 00:55:58 Not this Sunday, I can't. Well, then he's not gonna do the movie. Yeah, I'm not doing the movie. I'm available. Ha. Ha ha ha. How about this, how about this, honestly?'m not doing the movie. I'm available. Ha. Ha ha ha. How about this? How about this?

Starting point is 00:56:06 No, honestly. We'll do a family trip. Monday night. Okay. Monday night, we do Wee Spa as a family. I'll pay. And then we can vlog it or whatever for the Patreon. Well, we're not gonna,

Starting point is 00:56:17 they won't let us film in there, obviously. And we can film all the way up to when we get naked, I think. Sure. Yeah. And then it'll be a fun night, right? And then you, and I guarantee you at the end of the night, we'll walk out of there and you're gonna look me in the eyes and go, I get it.

Starting point is 00:56:31 I get why you go there. I've been to a spa. It's 24 hours, it's not Russian, it's Korean. It's 24 seven. I like Russians. It's 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We got it, you're selling us on it. We gotta go now. There's a restaurant a day, seven days a week. We got it. You're selling us on it.

Starting point is 00:56:45 We got to go now. There's a restaurant up there? I'm not eating after fucking staring at your cock for an hour and a half. I'm not going to be hungry. I'll tell you that. If anything, it'll be for a small meal. Maybe appetizers. Let's move on then.

Starting point is 00:56:58 Let people eat there. Shrimp? Yeah, yeah. Little hats. Anyway. Are they there? Yeah, they are there. Asian women? Oh yeah. Naked.

Starting point is 00:57:06 No, see that portion we all get dressed. The third floor where the Bulgamar room is. And then the first half of the thing, we go in the men's department. Yeah. We get naked there. And I'll get you a locker far away. You don't have to look at my genitals.

Starting point is 00:57:17 No, I've seen it a thousand times. It doesn't matter. I know, but you haven't seen it in the wild. It's different. It's different. Smaller? More claws. Wow. And fangs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to see in the wild. Yeah's different, it's different. Smaller? More claws. Wow.

Starting point is 00:57:25 And fangs, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to see it in the wild, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that Bobby's dick? Anyway, so next Monday night, we're gonna do a Bugama Room, Wee Spa experience, right? We'll go, you're flipped on it, we'll go. And then- Anyway, perfect days, Vin Vinders directed it.

Starting point is 00:57:40 And I think it's gonna just, I think it's greatly gonna redirect my life into a different area. That's what, so the gardening, let's go back to the gardening. Yeah. He gardens in it, okay? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:53 Does he not? He has a little gardening in his little studio and I'm like, I've always wanted to do that. Yeah, me too, I just don't. Yeah, I know. And so I went and bought a catnip setup to start after watching the movie. And I've been watering Yeah, I don't. And so I went and bought a catnip setup to start after watching the movie. And I've been watering it, watching it grow.

Starting point is 00:58:09 And there's just something about watching something grow from the soil that really does it for me. It's beautiful. I had a gardening thing at our old house that we had for a long time. We grew a lot of stuff and ate it all the time, but then I just couldn't keep up with it. But it was like a mechanism.

Starting point is 00:58:22 It was pods. Have you seen these things before? Oh yeah, I saw them online. Yeah, we had one at the house but it was like a mechanism. It was pods. Have you seen these things before? Oh yeah, I saw them online. Yeah, we had one at the house and it was incredible. We had basil, we had lettuce, we had, I mean, peppers. I don't remember what that thing is called. Yeah, that's a passing-through.

Starting point is 00:58:37 We got it gifted to us and we put it outside. The problem is, it's circular. Hydro builder. Is that what it was called? Let me look at the hydro, let me look at the hydro builder. Yeah, that's kind of what it was.

Starting point is 00:58:50 It wasn't this company. I was thinking about getting one of those. Yeah. I don't know which one it was, but it was kind of similar to that, but the problem is it's 360. So it has to be placed in a place that gets all sides gets sun, which is pretty tough.

Starting point is 00:59:01 Very difficult. Yeah. Instead of being flat like a garden, so it gets direct overhead. It doesn't spin? No, they make ones that you can rotate, but it's because the base of that is filled with water. It's heavy as fuck.

Starting point is 00:59:12 Yeah. And what happens is it waters itself every 15 minutes. So you don't have to do anything. You just have to test the pH and make sure it's balanced. It was cool, but then I was like, this is not really gardening. This is cheap, city gardening. So I want to do it the right way, but then I was like, this is not really gardening. This is cheap, a city gardening. So I wanna do it the right way,

Starting point is 00:59:28 but then I have to get pots and, are you just growing it in the front of your house, like in a, in like a little dirt spot? Yep. Yeah, you gotta build a box, you gotta build boxes. I'll build a box. Will you really? I'd come over and do that with you.

Starting point is 00:59:38 I'm gonna race frogs. That's my wee spa. We'll do some white people shit, like gardening. But we're gonna do both then. By the way, you know what movie I got caught in? We're not movie, but series and you're going to be over it. But on the plane ride, just now from Dallas, TikTok dancing.

Starting point is 00:59:52 I watched four episodes of Long Strange Trip. Dude, I love that. That's what got me back into the fucking great, got me back in the great, here's what's crazy. Yeah. Like a couple of years ago, because the guy who I play on Dave, Mike, the fucking grave, got me back into the grave. Here's what's crazy. Yeah. Like a couple years ago, because the guy who I play on, Dave, Mike, the real guy, him and I are friends and he's a big fish fan. He, you know, likes this world a lot.

Starting point is 01:00:13 And I said, hey, I started listening to The Dead again. Like, I don't know why, in high school I liked it okay, but then I wasn't really, and I started, and then I really started to kind of get into it a couple years ago again. And then I watched this documentary to kind of validate why I like them, because I didn't really understand.

Starting point is 01:00:31 I was like, I just like their shit, I guess. But man, this goes so deep. Bro. It goes so deep. And I don't know if Deadheads are probably fucking, I don't know if they like it, if like real fans like it. They do.

Starting point is 01:00:43 I don't know. I'll tell you why they do. May I tell you why I do? Please. In the late 80s, Omar and all my friends, they were all deadheads and they would still go to the shows back in the day. I was a velvet underground guy. I was more like New York street.

Starting point is 01:01:00 I didn't like flower power. You like grungy. I like heroin, S&M kind of things. Dirtbags. Yeah. S&M kind of things. Dirt bags. Yeah. Yeah. There's a better way to say it.

Starting point is 01:01:09 You like CBGB. Yeah, I like CBGB. The remote and that kind of thing, right? Dirty. Sorry. You're right. Yeah, you like dirty. Dirty fingernails.

Starting point is 01:01:19 So that's fine. But these people had dirty fingernail fans too. Right, right. So. Different kind. My whole life, I hated the fucking dead. What? Hated them. So not hateable.

Starting point is 01:01:29 Well, I'll tell you why. I don't like 45 minutes jams in G minor. When you're ripped, you do. I know you do. But it's like, I'm more like two, three minutes song, whatever, right? Right, right. So, I don't know where I was, but I was with a bunch of like hippies, old hippies.

Starting point is 01:01:43 And I was going, it was just going, now I'm 52, right? And I'm like, yeah, fuck the dead. And like, did you see Long Strange Strip on Amazon? And they go, no, I will refuse, right? But then one guy was like, dude, I know who it was. I know who it was. It was J.H. Harris.

Starting point is 01:02:01 J.F. Harris. J.F. Harris, the comic, yeah. It was J.F. Harris. We were with a bunch of hippies, him and him. And J.F. Harris. J.F. Harris, the comic, yeah. It was J.F. Harris. We were with a bunch of hippies and him, and J.F. goes, dude, I was always like you, but then I saw that documentary and it changed my whole thing. And I go, are you sure? He's like, just watch it.

Starting point is 01:02:13 And once I saw it, dude, I just started, that's all he listened to. It's funny. It's incredible. Well, I think with something that he said we related to, Jerry had said some things in it that I related to so much as a comic. He one time said, maybe Weir was quoting about him, but he had said that musicians have tricks. And I immediately thought of us. I go, so do comics.

Starting point is 01:02:37 We have tricks. And he goes, when you're live, there's tricks that you know, gets them in the, ah, or does the thing. And without getting too deep into it, performers know what your tricks are that you can kind of get away with. And sometimes you do the tricks and you go, I don't even like that, but I know it's gonna razz them up a little bit.

Starting point is 01:02:55 You know what it is. I rely on mine so much. Well, and that's fine. But Jerry said once they learned how to do tricks, he realized how little he wanted to do them anymore because then he thought everybody can do these tricks, that means. He was saying, it's like in our reference,

Starting point is 01:03:12 if you play a video game and once you beat it once and someone else is talking to you about them trying to beat it, you know when you're a kid and somebody's like, dude, and then do you know when you get to the castle? And in your head, you're like, I already know this. And I already know where you have to go. And he was saying- Where do you go in the castle? You have to go down again.

Starting point is 01:03:27 You have to go one more level down. Yeah, you always have to go down. And you know why you have to go down? Yeah, why? To get up. You gotta get back up. Gotta go down to get up. To go down again.

Starting point is 01:03:34 And so he, Jerry was translating that tricks he fucking hated. And he was like, I don't give a fuck if the set suffers a little bit, if we can find it more organically than us doing a trick to get back. And I thought that's what all comics are striving to do, is to wipe away your tricks. And what? And take some fucking risks and maybe a joke bombs and maybe a transition doesn't work as clean, but without the trick, you feel more real and it feels more. And when Jerry professed

Starting point is 01:04:02 that, that's part of the reason I think the band became so prolific because they were like, no more tricks, we'll just keep working it till it's magic. What's wrong, did I piss you off? No, he doesn't do the, he relies on the tricks. No, you don't, that's not true. I do. No, you don't.

Starting point is 01:04:22 You just taught me, no more tricks. No, you don't, what are you saying, no more tricks. No, you don't. What are you saying? No more tricks from me. By the way, Jerry without a beard. Not good. Not a great looking guy without the beard. Rest in peace.

Starting point is 01:04:32 But man, when you see some photos, you're like, the beard was good. Sometimes like a guy like me, if I shaved my fucking beard, yeah, different guy. It's a different kind of guy. Different guy. Yeah, yeah. Like me without a beard is not, I'm not,

Starting point is 01:04:42 I do not like my face without a beard. I'm born, I am born with beard. Some people must have beard. Carlos must have beard. I've seen you without a beard, must have beard. Thanks, man. Yeah, no, dude, you and I, same face. Must have beard.

Starting point is 01:04:55 You don't need beard. I can't. That's your name, American name. Don't need beard. I must have beard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He must have beard. But anyway, that document are really kind of,

Starting point is 01:05:07 it changed me. It brought me back to what I, what, you're fucking, you're laughing at me? What are you laughing at, man? Just must have beard. Must have beard. Very funny joke. I laugh at your joke.

Starting point is 01:05:18 I didn't say that. When the ox fall down. I really like them. And I'm a big John Mayer fan. And then listening to John do it is, I don't know, it's pretty cool. With Dead in Company is actually pretty good. So I watched that on the way to Dallas

Starting point is 01:05:30 and I'm telling you, I validated why I like them. I was like, why do I like them? Right. Yeah, I was like, right, yes, because they fucking, they're free. And they really are because the acid tests open up their range of freedom. And they just-

Starting point is 01:05:44 Also that we are, you know what I mean? They all stuck together for many, many years together. As long as they could until fucking, I think unfortunately the doc talks about how the drugs just separated the fuck out of them. Pig pen's death. We should do this as long as we can. Until we die.

Starting point is 01:05:57 I will do this forever with you. Okay. And let's do more magic. Well, I've got some exciting news. Congratulations. Well, it's actually for you. Oh, shit. I got a phone call from our agents saying, hey, we are probably going to have to add

Starting point is 01:06:12 seats and shows for Australia for Down Under. Sold a good amount of tickets. So people, our Australian fans, coming to see us. They're excited. So we're going to add seats. We're going to add shows. Go to badfriendspod.com. You can actually see all the tickets.

Starting point is 01:06:24 And we're coming down to Sydney, Brisbane, Oakland, Melbourne, Italy, Pith. By the way, this was a big point of contention. I said to my agent, Perth is on the Western part of Australia. It's fucking forever away. Australia is like America. Will we be able to stay in a couple of cities for a couple of days or no? We kind of can do it. It's going to shift around. We can also stay longer or go- We have friends I want to hang out with and stuff. Yeah, we can do that. The's gonna shift around. We can also stay longer or go over. We have friends I wanna hang out with and stuff. Yeah, we can do that.

Starting point is 01:06:45 The button over there, yeah, yeah. But I think we're gonna add some seats in Sydney and all that stuff, cause they showed up. Yeah, it's a five hour flight from Sydney to Perth. It's huge. It's going to- It's a huge place.

Starting point is 01:06:56 But here's what boned us. We're going to Perth last. So we're going west and then we gotta go all the way back east, back to America. I always wanna see a cane frog. You're gonna see a cane frog. Really? And we're gonna go pack kangaroos.

Starting point is 01:07:08 You know about the story about the cane frog? No. Okay. Well, give it. I don't know either. No, I do. No, what happened was- What is this?

Starting point is 01:07:17 The cane frog is- Cane frog. Look up cane frog. It's a 20 hour flight back home from Perth. So, you know, sugar cane trees, plants. Yeah. Right. There was a bug that was like, you know what I mean,

Starting point is 01:07:29 eating those up in Australia, attacking the crops. So they shipped cane frogs over there because they thought that cane frogs would eat those bugs, but they couldn't jump high enough, right, to eat, they could get the bug. And these fuckers fucking reproduce so fast, the whole fucking country is riddled with cane frogs. I mean, maybe I've seen them then when I was out there.

Starting point is 01:07:51 Yeah, it's destroying things. I'll tell you what we're fucking littered with is cicadas. Cicadas are disgusting. I was back in, dude, when I was in Nashville, they're so loud that when you go outside- What is it, locust? No, a cicada. I've never heard of it.

Starting point is 01:08:07 You don't know what a cicada is? Never even heard even the sounding of, the sounds I'd never heard. Oh my God. Cicadas. Cicada with a C. Do you guys not know what a cicada is? Yes. Carlos, do you don't know what a cicada is? These things go underground, Bob.

Starting point is 01:08:22 They bury themselves. For how long? Is it decade? Is it 10 years? Every 10 years they resurface and they infest parts of the country. And they're Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr It's insane. Chit chat, chit chat, chit chat, chit chat, chit chat. Periodical cicadas are insects that spend most of their lives on the ground feeding off the sap of tree roots underground. Underground, yeah.

Starting point is 01:08:48 Wow. Every 17 years, you can't tell me this doesn't mean something. This is like, you know, you remember when they thought that like, you know, like in the Bible, it says raining locusts and all that bullshit. It was just this. It's just this.

Starting point is 01:09:00 We're just seeing it differently. Yeah, chit chat, chit chat, chit chat. Anyway, thank you for being a bad friend. Yeah! Woo! Yeah!

Bad Friends - A Little Chit Chat

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