Bad Friends - Adam Friedland & The Wolverine

Episode Date: February 9, 2026

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Pepsi, TalkSpace, Avocado Green Mattress, Rocket Money, Hims. Factor & Shopify • Go try Pepsi Zero Sugar today. Let Your Taste Decide • TalkSpace: Get $80 off of your first month with Talkspace when you go to https://Talkspace.com/badfriends and enter promo code SPACE80. • Avocado Green Mattress: Go to https://AvocadoGreenMattress.com/BADFRIENDS to get up to 15% off. • Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/BADFRIENDS • Hims: For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BADFRIENDS. • Factor: Head to https://factormeals.com/badfriends50off and use code badfriends50off to get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year. • Shopify: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com More Adam Friedland The Adam Friedland Show: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheAdamFriedlandShow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adamfriedland Website: https://www.adamfriedland.com/ 0:00 Tazmanian Bobby 5:30 Hippos & High Foods 9:30 Netflix Skyscraper Live 13:45 Tires & Robin Wright 18:00 Lottery Winner Finds Love 21:20 The Pepsi Challenge 25:30 It's True, Google It! 30:00 Novelty Architecture 36:25 Moving to Texas 41:00 Final Destination 47:45 Amy Schumer & Nepo Babies 51:00 Adam's Photoshoot 55:10 Mexican Morrissey Fans 59:30 A Ramblin' Man 1:05:00 Celebrity Contacts 1:09:45 Kings of Comedy 1:12:26 Rapper & Comedians 1:15:00 South Side Chicago 1:20:00 Vinny's Tattoo 1:24:00 Late Night Hosts More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7EQUIS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. Oh, this is spring water. Yeah.

It's a beautiful spring water. What's the difference between regular water and spring water? Plastic. That's the difference in season. Oh, I'm sorry. It's okay. It's a season thing? You've never had winter water.

You've never had some winter water? No. Well, it's a winter wonderland now. Fall water, any of the seasons. Spring is the only season I've drink. What season do you like the most? Water-wise. Summer.

Summer water. What's summer water? Summer water. Had me a fly blast. Yeah. Summer loving is on the rise. I'm telling you, dude, you're getting so tuned up for this summer.

Your body's going to be good. Your brain's going to be good. I don't know. I think you're going to get some summer love this summer. Or I'll get a disease. Which one? The shaky one. Parkinson's.

No. No? That's not the shaky one? No. There's other shaky ones. What's the other shaking one? There isn't anymore. Parkinson's is the only one.

I feel like that's the main shaky one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shaking tremors. Give us, pull up shaky diseases. They're right here. Multiple sclerosis. Man, say that five times. They can't.

You know what I want to do? I want to get a shaky disease and have a time machine go down to the 70s and go do a sole train. Yeah. Dude, I'll do soul train. I've always wanted to do the line

with a shaky disease. Yeah. Right. Some people who get a time machine and they'll get, you know what I mean? I want to go see, you know what I mean? Meet George Washington. Not me, dude. Shaky soul train.

Shakey soul train. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's you, Bob. No, that's not what I was saying. I love him. Michael J.5. I'm a big fan of him. He's the man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. His Instagram handle is shaky soul train, oddly enough. he's the man he jokes about it all the time which is so you have to yeah at the other way at some point you it sucks it sucks it sucks it sucks it sucks and then you got a joke about it do you think Christopher Reeves is resentment resentful toward horses oh he hated him after that I mean would that could if I got hurt by an animal turn him into glow if you got hurt by an animal yeah and hate it for life although that might not be true. I got bit by my buddy's dog, my buddy Adam's dog when I was a kid.

Still love dogs. Yeah. I deserve the bite. I came in the backsliding door stoned at night trying to sneak in to be quiet to not wake up his mom. Dog bit me. My fault. I know a girl named Jenny, she has a big pit bull scar on her face. Right? And then I go, can you dog sit? I asked her. And she's like, no. Why, Jenny? Yeah, because they're little, though. My dogs are little. You don't have big, scary dogs? They'll bite your ankle. Well, that's not. true. Yeah, Julio. Julio is a nightmare. Yeah, yeah, we'll bite your neck. He will kill you. Yeah.

Julio has that like, yeah. But then you go, come on, come on, Julio, and then Julio will calm down. But if Julio senses something's up, attack mode. Yeah. Attack mode. Do you think Wolverines and Honey Badgers get along? They're so similar. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I wonder who would win in a fight? That's, that's such a good question. Who would win a Honey Badger or a Wolverine? Yeah. No, who would win though, you think. It says they do knock it along. They hate each other. They're highly territorial. I would say so. Yeah. I think a honey badger, aren't they crazy? Yeah. They didn't create it. I mean, the X-Men should have had, you know what I mean?

Honey Badger! Honey Badger! Because honey doesn't sound threatening. I think that's what it is. Problem. Yeah. Wolverine sounds good, but like Honey Badger, yeah. Wolverine would most likely win, according to AI overview, due to its significantly larger size greater strength. That's what I thought. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Size and strength. Yeah. Offensive power. What about Tasmanian devil with is that a mix oh yeah they got they're small oh yeah another small but they're crazy they're crazy they're the sound that they make is insane have you ever heard it yes oh it's it's insane and wait you know why they'll win let me see if i could do it um has mani and bobby yeah can you do one do it again it's that's that's yeah you know the lore of them yeah you know the lore

the truth, why they're called Tasmanian devils. When people first came to that area, they were, they live in the woods at night. They heard that sound. Yeah. They thought it was the devil. They thought that was devil's island. That is very true.

Also, these things are crazy blind. They can't see shit. But their jaw, look at the jaw strength of a Tasmanian devil. Look it up. They can bite through. I want to know how many pounds per square inch or something. That's my new cum noise, by the way. Tasmanian devils have an exceptionally powerful bite for their size.

They cited around 500 to 1,200 pounds per square inch. What's the average human bite? What's a human bite? Humans bite force is 150 pounds per square inch. Wow. The Tasmanian devil is... That's not good or bad. It's ten times us.

It's... Yeah, yeah. That's crazy. What is that? Alligators is 3,700 pounds per square inch. Wow. That's why all those idiots in Florida are like, they love the threat. Yeah.

I'm going to get down there. I'll wrestle that guy or see. would have. But I hear hippos are the ones you don't want to want to fuck with. They're aggressive. They're aggressive. They're aggressive. They're aggressive. They're gigantic mouths, you know, and they are very territorial, not only terrible, but they protect their babies. If you, if you see a hippo baby, run. Because they'll kill you. The mother will kill you. Yeah, they'll just kill you. Yeah. What's the father doing? Is he, is he MIA? Yeah, he left. Go ahead. You go ahead. No, you go ahead. You go ahead. I don't want it. Yeah, I don't want it either.

I'll be back getting the bread I'm gonna get bread I'll be back It never comes back Never comes back Yeah yeah Well they can swallow They bite you see them bite through stuff as nuts Yeah

You ever seen them bite through like a watermelon Oh shit yeah They can crack right through it Fancy Fancy Why did you say watermelmelming? Because I always see videos of hippos and watermelon

Out of all the vegetables To see pumpkin I always see videos No no no There's always videos of hippos with watermelon You know it. Yeah.

And fried chicken. I knew it. I was waiting for it, dude. I was waiting. Look at that. Oh, yeah. It is watermelon. Whoa.

Whoa. That thing. Wow. Have you ever seen him feed him a carton of Newports? He'll do that. He'll go right through it. It's crazy. It's so funny.

Also, hippos, there's a pink residue that comes out of their skin. I don't know this. Do you know this? No. Yeah, there's a pink residue. Not waiting for a joke. That's a true thing. There's no joke.

There's a pink residue. No way. Yes. I'm looking for the joke in my mind. There is no joke. There is a pink residue. Is there not a residue? Oh, he's right.

Hippo secrete a thick, oily, reddish substance called blood sweat. Blood sweat. Not crimps sweat, blood sweat. It's sunscreen. S-DF. Wow. Yeah. Blood sweat.

Yeah. That's where it comes from. Blood sweat and tears. Tears. Yeah. I wonder what it is. Wow. Wow, they secrete a red substance.

They do. It protects their sun, yeah. It protects their skin from sun and bacteria. Yeah. I thought about that. I didn't know why I know that. That's awesome.

How the fuck do I know that? That's awesome. Out of all the things. I love it. I just know that. Well, I looked at my dog today. We took a dog on a walk today. And I thought, how weird that were,

of all the species, like we're the ones that want to walk upright that figured out walking upright was the move. Isn't that crazy that we were like, fuck this, all fours is crazy. Yeah. I'm up here. I'm getting up. Well, how did we get up?

I have no idea. Like something must have taught us to get up. God. Excuse me? God. Don't bring your Spanish fucking voodoo to this room. Humans walking upright because it offered key survival advantages. I know, but why did we,

other animals can get upright. No, I mean, Banana. Go on. No, I'm not going to what I'm saying. What I'm saying is,

they're up in the trees. Banana. Right. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Food is up high. That's what I'm saying. Sa-da.

It's, dude, food's up there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we didn't want brown food. We wanted high food. Yeah. Is it right or not?

Oh, yeah. You come up with one. Brother, I love it. No. No, what do you mean? You love it. You come up with one, man. No, it's because we're up to a.

Why do you think? Vantage point. attack down. Exactly. Bigger. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Me big.

Yeah, me big. You're small. Yeah, you're small. What happened? Why did we stop climbing the trees, though? Probably hurts. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like, we've evolved. You would think that we'd still. Well, Alex Honol Dustle does it. Honol does it. Yeah. Did you see that? Yeah, tell me about it. Pissed me off.

Why does it piss you off? I just, yeah. Why is he doing that? Insame. It's crazy. I mean, kudos, the guy's amazing, but you're like, what is this? Well, El Capitan is scarier, though. No, he said this was fucking weird.

But I'll tell you why, because I saw it. Did you see it? I watched you. Yeah. There are places where he could fall where, you know, because once he gets to a certain section, he's climbing again, and he could have fell down to like the next level. I know. You know what I mean?

Whereas El Capiton, once you fall, you're dead. There's nothing saving you. This was a great PR stunt for Netflix. I mean, 100%. And by the way, get paid. Good for him. Yeah. That second of his wife, like, waving out the window was the weirdest.

What do you think of that relationship? I mean, I think it seems like it's going up. Yeah. I don't know. It's strange because she, they talked about it. Is this the same girl from the documentary? Yes. Where he says he's going to leave her.

Yeah. I'm either going to climb. You either stick around and I'm climbing or you can kick fucking rocks. Yeah. And she was like, I'll stay. Yeah. I mean, they must genuinely love each other. Yeah, maybe.

They have two kids now. They do? Yeah. Where are they? Up at the top of that building? I don't know. They're at the one center or whatever in Chechuan. I wouldn't be able to watch if I was a kid.

Like if your dad was doing that, would you be a little watch? No, it's crazy. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. By the way, this was in China, right? It was in Beijing. Or where was it? Singapore.

Oh, Singapore. Was it Singapore? Yeah. Great audience Asians, though. Oh! Every second. Oh, no. Everything blows their mind.

On the floors, it was a though, oh, with the cameras on. They were. They were. They were. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy, it was cool to see, but like, you know, you knew he was going to do it. Yeah.

I mean, I kind of wanted to see him slip a little bit. And there's also a delay. You know there's a delay. Oh, yeah. There's no way. There's no way. They'd show it. Well, because how quick can you snap a camera away?

Yeah. Punched in. Those guys are. And the guys that were doing the cameras on the ropes, that was crazy too. Yeah. Because they had to do, you know, I'd be a drone. Give me the drone. I'll fly that next to the guy.

Like if my partner wanted to do that, I would just be like, yeah, I'm not going to be there. Okay, but, okay, let's make it more real. What if your partner's like, I love deep sea fishing and I love deep sea diving? Okay. And I like swimming down with sharks. Kalila.

She did that the whole relationship you were with. And guess what? What? I'm at home. I'm not watching that. Yeah, I'm just, you know. That's true. Yeah, yeah.

But you said good luck. But you let you let them do it. You're just not going to go. Well, I did it a couple of times with them, those kind of activity, but that's completely different then. though, I think. It's just his life-threatening because he's an expert at this.

The chances of him falling are less likely than one of the girls getting bit in the ocean. You think so? 100%. You guys don't agree with that? Think about this. Think for a second. This guy is a flawless professional. Right?

He was never going to fall. That's why they did it. Those girls get in the water, they have an element that they can't control. He controls this all this. They have animals that are, you're at their whim. They could just attack you for no reason. This guy, he was never going to fall. There was no fucking way.

But they did change the day because it was raining. Well, yeah, because you'd slip. I mean, let's man up. Go during the rain. Do it when it's running. Pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pussy.

Yeah, yeah. I heard you didn't clock. Tornado? The rain. Fucking do it. Let's see. Let's see if you can do it during tornado. Get real element.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not win. Yeah. This guy's the man, though. He is. No, he is just one of the greatest athletes in human history. Did you see, speaking of great athletes, did you see Sean White jumping over Gillis and O'Connor in Central Park?

No. During the snow closing in New York, Sean White literally jumped over Gillis and O'Connor. Like, look at this. You just like Ali's over them. It's in Central Park, right? Is that where it was? Yeah, on TMZ.

How sick is that? Wow. They're just chilling, drinking Bud Lights, and he's Ali hopping over these guys on a snowboard. Wow. I'd love to get hit in the head, by that snowboard. Yeah.

Get paid, huh? Get a check from Burton. Whoa, wow, wow. How cool is that? Yeah. Can we even say it or no? Say what? How about you doing tires?

Oh yeah, I'm doing a couple episodes of tires. Why, what? Huge, no, I'm saying, is it, I don't know if you're not. We talked about it, or we did the whole script thing, you know what I mean? I think that did it. We got you that role.

Oh, on the episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You remember that? Yeah, yeah. How many episodes? Two? I'm doing two, yeah. Awesome.

What's your character's name? I don't know. What did you want it to be? I think you should bring that to the table. I'd love to do that. I think you should just tell them what you want to play. You know, I've been thinking about it. Yeah.

I'm a senior. Does it matter? Your name? Yeah, yeah. I just don't like all the, every time I played something, it's always like a boring, non-creative name. I'm always Ken, for some reason. I mean, we know the reason.

Yeah, or whatever. I played gin a couple of times. Ken, gin. Yeah, what else have I played? Dude, I finished all of Bert's show, by the way. You saw it? The whole thing? It's awesome.

It's on Netflix. Wow. Yeah, I know. I know where it's at. It's such an easy watch. Is it? Yeah, it's great. Yeah.

Everyone in it's funny. It's great. Chris Watowski. Chris Watowski. Chris Watowski. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I saying it right? Yeah, yeah.

Fantastic. He's so funny. Yeah, he's great guy. Kills it. Yeah. Great dude. It's a funny show, man. You know what's so funny about Chicago guys?

You Chicago guys help each other. Well, we like each other. I know, but you guys always help each other. San Diego guys don't do that? No. Why not? Because there's not a lot. Well, there's a lot of...

I can see a lot of Chicago guys like, hey, you know what I mean? Use that guy. There's some good... Well, there's a lot from Chicago. I think that's what it is. Acting and comedy. Yeah, yeah. What do you mean?

San Diego has a lot of famous people. Has Adam Driver never called you? Bobby, I want you to do something with me. How do you feel about good soup? Nick Cannon is from San Diego? Yeah, yeah. Dude, Ted Danson. You know, I need you to babysit for me, Bob.

He had so many kids. Was that Nick Cannon? Hey, yo, I need you to babysit for me, Bob. My Ambialic is from San Diego. Yeah, who else? Adam Brody. Okay, that's good. I didn't know all these people were from there.

I mean, that's a lot. Tom Waits. Wow. Wow. Tony Hawk, we know Tony. Yeah. Sean White, Bill Walton, Kendra Wilkinson, Tony Gwyn, Jr. Sayo.

Yeah. Chris Jenner. Interesting, I'm not even on that list. You are. Where? You are. You're right there. Bobby Lee.

Oh, I am. Why did it say comedian? Dude, this list is thick. It's a pretty good list, yeah. Cameron Diaz, we skipped over her. I thought she was from Long Beach. She is, yeah. I don't know.

She was born in San Diego, but went to school. Robin Wright. Penn. Yeah. She went to La Jolla School. Is it not? Not anymore. They got a divorce?

Yeah. He was so good in that movie, they got a divorce, huh? Yeah. You know, I had dinner with her one time. Robin Wright? Yeah. I was in, I was in, um, Michigan.

Yeah. Right? I had a couple of scenes in a movie and the producer of the movie was dating her. Whoa.

So I had to produce like I had to have dinner, you know what I mean? So I show up and she was at the dinner. Was he a good-looking guy the producer? Pretty good-looking, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because sometimes you meet these producers that date these actresses and you're like, how the- Well, he was long-faced like Sean. I think she likes long-faced. She likes a long face?

Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, descriptive. She would like a president, like an old president. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. So you wouldn't be her type? No.

You're a Wong face. Yeah, I'm a long face. Yeah. But what I remember about her is her being very funny. I mean, she's so smart and cool. Yeah, she was very funny. What's your favorite role of hers? Jesus Christ.

She didn't play that. Okay. I mean, obviously, the first time I noticed her was Princess Bride. Yeah. It was really, really good. Yeah. And then, Jenae. Yeah.

Forrest Gump is probably the most iconic. I mean, but she was good in Wonder Woman. Well, she was fun in that. Yeah, buffed out. Yeah. She's just super beautiful, though. Yeah, she's pretty stunning. Stunning, right?

Yeah. Who do you think her or she? Who would you, Sharon Stone or her, you think? Her for sure. But Sharon Stone and her prime though? Oh my God. No, she's, she's a wholesome, just beautiful. Yeah, look at it.

Wow, what a beautiful girl. Gorgeous, mate, gorgeous. Very talented, too. Absolutely lovely. Kate Blanchett's, I think, the same thing. Not my style, but yeah. Yeah, but just beautiful, wholesome white. Yeah.

What is it? Andres just sent me something. Let's see. Some sort of meme. No, I just read. This guy won the lottery and it's so, so surprising he found love. Today's after. 181 million dollar lottery winner falls in love.

Yeah. And the lottery winner is the woman, yeah? Because she won the lottery with that guy. Dude. Just by chance. Two days after. Tell me this guy's British. 100% right?

Yeah. Is he not British? No, it's American. Where? North Carolina. I find myself a beauty girl, dude. Wait till you see my girl. Wait till you see the girl that I got.

She won't nothing from me. Is that incredible, though? She's poisoning him. This is basically what happened. Life changed. Yeah. Life over. Life over.

You think it's over? The lottery is the worst thing. They say statistically, like these people end up killing themselves, going broke. You want to hear a statistic? Same thing. Same statistic.

I love statistics. Bobby statistics. We'll be right back. You want here one? Right. People that are in a car accident and paralyzed from the neck down are happier than lottery winners.

No, you made that up. I mean, that sounds real. I'll tell you why. Why? Can I tell you why? So when you win the lottery, right, your friends and family, they change. Right.

I want the money, me, me, me, me, me. Also, you don't know how to manage money, so you lose the money quickly. Right. Right. You start buying houses and cars and cars for your friends and all that stuff. And it becomes more painful your life. Well, you're in the lot of. More burden, more pain, you know what I mean?

And somebody that's been in a car accident paralyzed from McDonald's, right? When they can taste orange juice for the first time, they're super joy there. When they can move a pinky, right? Like every day, you know, some new thing happens, right? you get more joy and there's more, you know what I mean? The small things matter. Small things. And then you realize who your true friends are

and loved ones when you're in a car accident. Yeah. And so they say that you're happier. I agree. I mean, you see the history of all these people that win the lottery is awful. That's awful, yeah. They lose it quickly. Whenever, they're always like, the guy, what was the dude? Wasn't there a guy that just killed himself

that won a lottery not too long ago? Like, he just percentage. Do you guys think that this guy is going to lose the law if he loses the money? Yes. Yes. Mental health struggles, very big. The curse, the curse of lottery. 70% of lottery winners go broke or face severe financial distress within a few years.

That was kind of like, do you remember the show? What was it? Move that bus. You know that fucking show? Extreme home makeover. They would give these people these mansions. People that made like 30 grand a year, they'd give them a fucking mansion. They couldn't pay the taxes on it.

They'd go broke. Then they'd be in worse financial debt than they were before they got the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because it's a, so they got sued, right? Didn't they get sued? And then they settled. And then at some point, the show had to continue on the air. So what happened was then the network started paying for the taxes or the whatever so these people wouldn't drown.

Right. Wow. It's interesting. It's a bad game. Yeah. Hey, guys, do you know we're sponsored by Pepsi? Bob, did you see that Pepsi did another Pepsi challenge? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

People still do that? Yes, they do still do that. 66% of people chose Pepsi zero sugar over Coca-Cola zero sugar. Oh, that's not even close, dude. I know. 66% of people over what percentage of people chose Coca-Cola zero? 44%. I guess Pepsi doesn't make you a good at math.

Right on, man. Good man. Is that true? That is very true. That's right on the number. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfect. All right, let's take the challenge.

I want to try. I want to try. I'm going to take a straw in the A and then a B. Ready? And I'm going to try B first. No, you go backwards. You always go backwards. I always go backwards because I'm going to try A first.

Hmm. And then I try B. Okay. Don't say anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hmm. Okay. Okay, what's yours?

On the count of three, we'll say. All right. Close your eyes. I got to do it again. Hold on. I should do it one more time. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Got it? I got it. On the count of three. Close your pull. In my mind is also, you know, I'm parched. I'm in the Sahara Desert. right. I'm dreaming of a cola beverage. We're in a studio in Burbank.

No, in my mind. Oh, yeah. Like, what would I, right? Okay. I'm parched. Yeah, I'm in the Sahara Desert, right? And I'm trying to find a liquor store or something or a store or a meeting store so I can get a beverage. Yeah. I see one in the desert, right? What if it's a mirage? It could be a mirage.

And I only have one opportunity to buy one beverage. Here we go. Which one would I pick? What are you going to say? I'm going to say. One, two, three. A. No.

Let me see. Let me see. Oh my God. Pepsi did. No. What's yours? I picked Pepsi. Yep.

Wow. Got me. If I had an option based on the test, I'm going with the rising star. Because you're a rising star. I'm a rising star. Am I? Yep. I am?

Yeah, because you chose the 66%. But my star's a little bloated. So as long as I keep drinking Pepsi Zero sugar, it might be a shooting star at some point? If you want to use that analogy. Fuck, I did. I know. You have to also. I'm also think of it this way, too. I'm an alien. I'm visiting Earth. I'll second that.

Oh my God. What city am I in? At Los Angeles. Hi. Hi. I heard about Colabam beverages. Can you give me... They're phenomenal. Are they? Which one is the one that's the best up and rising one? Let me tell you something, Alien. Yes. I can get you the Pepsi challenge so you can decide for yourself. Is this is right here? That's it. Wow. That's the Pepsi challenge right there. Are you an alien or a robot? I am a combination of a cyborg and human parts as well. You know what? I should. I've never questioned you. I have also, um, bionotrix. Are you made a bionotrix? Yes, I am. Wonderful. All right, why don't you take the Pepsi

challenge? What's your name, sir? What's your name? Alongo. Alongo, what do you think? I love it. Take a sip. Okay, here we go. Mmm. Bina bapapap, me la bita, bap. That's not going to short circuit your insides? That's me short circuiting. Okay, well, drink up before you die. Before your system crashes. Bebop, bump, bop, bop, bop. Did you like that one more?

That one is better. Which one? What's, what? La Longo. Lalongo likes what better? Pepsi. You heard it here first. Lalongo likes Pepsi more.

Pepsi zero sugar. Lelongo likes Pepsi zero sugar more than Coca-Cola zero sugar. Go out and try. Pepsi zero sugar today. Let your taste aside. The lottery is gross. Give me a statistic. I'll give you a statistic. Smoking a pack of cigarettes is the health equivalent to having unprotected sex with five prostitutes. It is?

No, I made it up. Oh, fuck. But it sounded real. It sounded real. It sounded real. Okay, true or false? Let's see if you can get it. But you know, I'll give you.

one, you covered one, right? Yeah. It's better to be a cigarette smoker for COVID. True. It is. It was, yeah, it turned out. It is. Smokers had better lung capacity.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, better propensity to like fix themselves. No, you know. All right. I'm not Googling. I don't like that you're smoking. Yeah, Google it. It's true.

Because I look done when I Google things that are the joke. No, it's not, it's true. Google it. No. Extensive research, authorities like World Health Organization confirm the smoking increases the risks of severe illness, hospitalization of death from COVID-19, in fact. Oh, I made it up then.

Yeah. I tell you, you sold me. Yeah, yeah. I bought it. Can I give you a statistic? Is it real, fella fake? You tell me if it's true or fake. Fuck, okay, go ahead.

All right. 78% of people that got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine drove, Dodge Chargers. What? 78? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that real? I think it's false. I think it's false.

I don't know anybody that drives one. It's 87. It's 87. It's the other way. Yeah. Wow, that's a good one. That one's for McCone. McCone, welcome back. McCone. He's back.

Give it up for McCone. He got stuck in New York City. How was New York? you pig it was great it was very fun it was nice hanging out with you and yeah yeah we took the boy took the boy to madison square god and had a fun little time there then we went then we went to what we thought was a gay bar but it was just gay night yeah yeah it was all women we went downstairs and it was all women wow and then it took five seconds for the intelligent people to go oh it's a gay bar yeah and these fucking dork sim and his buddy were like there's a lot of babes here man they were like great

ratio and they were all beautiful. I was like great ratio. These women don't like penises. Oh wow wow wow wow wow. You can tell because a girl came out to me and dapped me up right away. She literally goes, yo, fucking love your show dog. And I was like yeah, thank you dude. Wow, wow, wow, wow. By the way, big in the lesbian community. That's huge bad friends. We love that. Really? Yeah, fuck yeah. We had a lot of fans there. It was great. Yeah, made me feel good. That's amazing. All right. Sorry. Sorry for sharing. That's good. I like it. You go to a gay bar. You find out. Yeah. You can recognize it gay bars.

Bobby, you're back. Where have you been? You bad boy. I just got tuned out for a second. It was so weird. Yeah, where are you going? Because I came over with a little statistic, but then it's like, it was too late to say it

because we had transitioned onto something else. And I just got stuck on it, but it's like, I'm not even going to say it, but I'm just saying. Come on, give it to me. Give it to me. It's stupid. They're all stupid. It's so fucking dumb.

I don't know why. for like a minute, I got hung up on it. You know, I mean? You know those people that in China where they can walk, like it looks like they can walk above the ground, like they're floating when they're dancing? Yeah. Do you know that?

Yep. Yeah. Did you know that those people, not everyone can do it, but those people, they don't have bone marrow. Did you know that? Mm-hmm. Not being real.

Is that a stat? What do you mean this? What do you mean this? That's not a good one. I know, but that's why But that's why for a minute I was thinking about it, right? No, it wasn't.

I know it wasn't. For some reason, I couldn't get my mind. I got stuck in it. You know what I mean? In my mind, I was like, this is not a good one because you're making it up, obviously, you know what I mean? And then I just couldn't stop thinking about it. Bone marrow.

Yeah, exactly. It wasn't even good. That's why I even said, I don't even say anything. No, it's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just did. Yeah, I know, but you didn't have to go fucking call me out. Well, it was just so...

You did this. Why did you do this? I didn't like it. I don't like it either. I didn't want to say it. It's terrible. The meal was bad. It was bad.

I don't want to eat that. Like a kid. Get that. What is that? This is the most condescending bullshit I've ever seen. I like it. Right? Yeah, oh my God, I hate that.

It's like spitting in someone's face. I didn't spit on you. That's basically it is like spit in your face. Yeah, yeah. God, that's the word. Wipe it away. Yeah. Anyway.

Did you have fun in New York? What else did you do? What did you get into? I mean, there wasn't much. We were Snowden, but I went to the, I went to the Met. That was very fun. Great museum. Yeah.

You went by yourself? No, I was staying with my friends Jackson and Abby. Oh, how are they? Anyway, who gives a fuck? But anyway. Shut it down. Shut it down. Shut it down.

Shut it down. Yeah. Get the fuck out. Shut it down. That's great. No, that is nice. Tell us what you saw at the mat. You don't even want to know.

What is the beautiful artwork you saw? Did you have a slice of New York pizza? We went to a bar together above five guys. That was actually wild. You walk into five guys like you're going to order and there's a fucking bouncer by the friar. And you hand him your idea and there's a secret bar upstairs. No.

Yeah, it was kind of cool. At five guys. Yeah, and you could take inside. Inside and you could take some peanuts to go upstairs and everything. Wow. It was kind of a cool. little bars, like a nice little nook tucked away. Five guys in the village. Wow. Is that the original five guys? No, the original is four guys and that's up the street. They just had the one up

Hey, dude. That's your, dude. That was bad. That was your bone marrow. That was my bone marrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Four guys, dude. No, the original five guys, I think, is in D.C. Am I wrong? I believe so. I'm like. I think my buddy Tyler took me to the original five guys in Arlington or wherever it is. Arlington, Virginia, there it is. Yeah. I think I went to that one with him. Now, is the original, like, the original panda

or the original whatever, is it better than the chain of it? I mean, I'm sure the locals would say yes, right? Because they grew up. If you had the first, you're always going to be like, we did it. It's like the band. You're like, I knew that band before.

Like that band. That album wasn't as good as the first one that I heard. Because the original Panda Express, their actual restaurant restaurant, apparently is very good. It's in Pasadena, California. What's that called?

Panda Inn? Panda Inn, right? It's right there. Zoom in, bud. The original concept for Panda Express started with Panda Inn, sit-down restaurant opened by Andrew and Peggy Chung in Pasadena,

1973 on Foothill Boulevard. It burned down during the fires. However, somehow the Chau Main did survive. That stuff is just not flammable. Chau Maine is so strong. So strong. There's the original, that's Panda Express, the original Panda Inn.

I hate Panda Express. It's good in a bind, but I want to try Panda Inn. Let's go. I'd love to go. Is it still open? Is there an original McDonald's? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's here in California. Yeah, this is open.

Let's go to it. We should try Panetta in. The first McDonald's is in San Bernardino. Are you being real? Yes. And it's still there. I do not know if it's still there. I think it's a museum now. And then the first chain, of course, was in Illinois. That's where our boy Ray Kroc stole the idea, took it. And we went there on a field trip best kids. Yeah. You know what I'm obsessed with? Novelty architecture. Love novelty architecture. You know what novelty architecture is? Yeah. What is it? Macon.

Architecture that's kind of silly or out of the ordinary. It's for the fun of it and the love of it. It's not fun. Like Randy's Donuts is one. Look at that. That's so funny. They had Idala or that bar in North Hollywood. I've been to that bar. This one? Yeah. What is that? It's a bar on Lancashim. Oh, are those barrels? Yeah. I love it. And you go sit in the barrels. Wow. But then when beer starts filling up in there, it gets scary. I mean, that's a, yeah. Another one. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There it is. Yeah. Whoa. But you know, it's like, you know how some, like, you go to cities all over the country now and they all look the same? Oh, yeah. Why can't we like, you know, express ourselves in different ways, our, architecture-wise. I mean, in terms of, is that money?

No, we're going, no, the problem is we're going backwards because what happens is people want stuff that looks nice and new. But in fact, it actually is just cheaper and poorly built. but they like the idea because, okay, like all these fucking apartment complexes going up. Yeah. They all look the same. Yeah. Because people want new, right?

If they say, I can't afford a fucking house, but I want a nice apartment. I want something nice and new. I want a new build. I want no one to live in it. But the problem is they throw these things up. They do it with the cheapest materials possible. And they built them so shanty-like,

but people want the image of nice and new from the outside. Yeah. That's why the whole city of fucking L.A. looks like that. Yeah, it's fake luxury. It's a bummer. and it's taking over. And if you look at like the colors of cars

that we have today versus in the 70s, it's like, what happened to those fun colors? Well, here's the problem now. Yeah. As a car guy, it's paint to sample now. Because they don't sell as well and a car company's main goal is to sell as many,

it's volume at the highest level. It's just sell a billion fucking cars. They don't give a fuck. They're made a plastic. Get rid of. That's why leasing started. They were like, here, we'll get it back and then we'll just sell it at a huge discount.

Because the highest colors of cars that sell are like white, black, and gray. And so they're like, fuck it. We won't make any other colors. God, it just made our society and our culture look like land. It sucks. All of it. So now you have to paint a sample. You want a special color. You have to order a color of a car. It costs more money. Yeah. Like, look at, look. 1970. The arrow, top selling cars were avocado green, harvest yellow, earthy brown, burnt orange. Wow. Beautiful. Beautiful. Fun. I fuck with a burnt orange. That's such a sexy color in a car. Yeah. And what's today now? Is that today?

White is 38, black is 19, gray is 15. Those are the highest that I said. Oh my God. Silver and blue are nine and seven. Red is five. It doesn't even happen anymore unless it's Ferrari. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Yellow.

It's incredible what happened. Well, let me be honest, yellow is the fucking yellow stinks. Yeah, yellow's weird, hard. Yellow on a car is not it. It's hard, yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't do it for me. Midnight purple would be fun. Ooh, hello.

Is that the nickname for your penis? Yeah, midnight purple, dude. Yeah. Hey, dude. Midnight. What's the opposite of this? That's it, dude. What's a color of your car?

What is that color called? That's why I like it. It's like a soft baby blue. Soft baby blue. Yeah, yeah. Not a hard baby blue. It's like that. Yeah.

It's exactly right. It's like a card. It's like, yeah, it's like this, well, kind of, I guess. A little lighter than that. Houston Oil or Blue. The kid goes right to Texas. Texas stuff. Yeah.

That's what I see when I see his car. When are you gonna move to Texas? The rumor is you're moving to Texas. No. Everyone on the streets talking about it. No, I'm not leaving LA. Everybody says, do you know this? People around LA are saying he's going back and he's going to Austin.

Oh, no. He keeps going there. He's looking for a place to live. Oh, Spaghetti-Oh. You own a place in Austin? My sister and I do. Oh, really? Yeah.

Where is it? South Congress. It's like, yeah. By one of those boot shops? No, it's actually like by like a Verizon store. Verizon store. It's like a random neighborhood. You know that on South Congress? That was the funniest neighborhood back in the day. I used to love going down there.

And now it's a Lulu Lemon and a fucking soul cycle and a, right? So House. So House and Buck Mason. Earth Bar. It's just, it's here. It's California now. I like that strip in Austin where they had that pizza place. What's it called? We went. I know. It's so good. What is it fucking called? I don't know. I love that place. Why can't I think of the name? Home slice. Home slice. Yeah. That's a fun. That place was fucking great. Yeah, it's a

good slice of pizza. Talkspace. You know, I do therapy every week. Same. And Talkspace has saved my life because, you know, you need to release the demons. You got a release, man. And, you know, I had a lot of trauma growing up and, you know, using EMDR and other methods through Talkspace has really relieved and taken some of the burden off of my shoulders, a lot of

it, actually. That's because Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anything. anytime anywhere. Talkspace helps you build confidence and skills. Our therapists not only listen to you, they provide valuable techniques to manage stress or conflict in your life, helping improve your coping skills and self-awareness. Let's be honest, okay. It's always nice to talk to somebody. All jokes aside is a comedy show, but we all like to talk stuff out and talk space makes it easier. And they make getting the help you need easy, accessible and affordable. Plus, most insured members have a zero

dollar co-pay. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with TalkSpace when you go to Talkspace.com slash bad friends and enter promo code space 80. That's S-P-A-C-E-80. To match with the licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com slash bad friends and enter promo code space 80. Avocado Green mattress. I'm so excited to tell you about our sponsor Avocado Green Mattress. Their certified organic mattresses, pillows, and solid wood furnitures are made without harmful chemicals with thoughtfully chosen materials designed to support healthier living and more restorative sleep. I got to tell you something.

We got to upgrade. Thank you to avocado green mattress. Thank you. And I'm telling you, it is a healthier home environment and so comfortable, and it's better for you in the planet. So you're killing so many birds with one mattress. Okay. They got sleep trials of one year to ensure you're getting the best mattress for you.

If you want calm, grounded living, well-designed sleep space promotes a sense of And I'm telling you help reduce stress after a long day. Got to lay down on one of these things. They're amazing. Built to last too, but they really are. durable high quality materials. Avocado products are an investment in long-term vitality, not a short-term fix. Sleep matters.

Avocado Dream of Better. And now they're having a great sale on mattresses. Go to avocado green mattress.com slash bad friends to get up to 15% off. That's avocado green mattress.com slash bad friends for up to 15% off mattresses. Avocado green mattress. Mattress.com slash bad friends. Rocket money. You saved me so much money on Rocket Money. Yes, I did. Rocket money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions monitoring your spending. It helps lower your bills so you can grow your saving.

We've all heard about it. You've heard these ads a thousand times before all over the place because it works. Rocket money helps you reach your financial goals much faster because what they do is they create a dashboard where you can see all of the things that you're spending money on, whether it's games like Bobby on your phone and subscriptions you forgot you signed up for. There's so much nonsense you're paying for. Let Rocket Money clean it up for you. Yeah. You saved so much money when I saved.

Well, you did more than me. I saved a little bit. You saved a lot more thanks to Rocket Money because you were paying for so many different subscriptions. So many subscriptions. I had a meditation subscription I never used. Hundreds of dollars wasted. A couple of video games. A couple?

Yeah. Like 20. 20 of them. Okay, that's fine. I saved. I don't want to disclose it, but thousands and thousands of dollars a year. That's a lot of money that you saved while you saved while you. using all those apps, premium features.

Let RocketMoney help you reach your financial goals faster. Join right now at RocketMoney.com slash bad friends. That's RocketMoney.com slash bad friends. RocketMoney.com slash bad friends. You keep the troops in line, these boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't do that with your crew? They're all subject to NDAs, so I have a...

Fuck, we never made these guys sign NDAs for the tour we did. These guys... Too late. McCone has one. Yeah, Adam, they could ruin. our careers. Once we get a career, they could fucking bear it.

I'm actually here to get them to unionize. I'm trying to take down all of the podcast. We're in. Very funny, right guys? Dude, you guys deserve to own the means of

production. Totally. We've been saying that for six years. Yeah, it's a... This is a republic, man. This is not... This is a republic. Yeah, this is a republic.

Dude, I know, dude. What? This podcast. Burbank is, too. How far is, Lennon's cars. He lives upstairs. Yeah, he'll come down in the middle of this.

How is he okay? He just keeps like getting into slapstick style kind of accidents? He's, I think he's doing a lot of pratt falling. I think there's, the video of him, the video of him where he's like, I'm fine and that he gets in the car. That one is just. He like, he just fell down. Well, he, where he hits the fire hydrant, where he's like, talking. I mean, he's a colleague, so, and a friend.

I mean, like, I'm not, this is, yeah, the, the burn accident, like, oh my God, he's okay. I hope he's okay, man. He's still doing car shows every week. Burn accident. How many cars? Horrific garage accident. This man, death follows him everywhere he goes. He's like in the movie Final Destination.

Do you know him? Yeah, brand new phase. Adam, do you know him? Jay? Yeah. Oh, yeah. What? Yeah, yeah. You guys served in Vietnam together?

Well, it's a, we, there's a, you know, like the Harvard Club? Oh, but it's like for talk show. Oh, talk show club. So it's me, Leno, what's, uh, called it. Bill Maher. Kelsey Lately. Uh-huh. Yeah.

The one, uh, who else? I don't know. Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon, uh, that British guy that no one likes. Gordon. Corden. I mean, sorry, he's a friend. Are your boys with him?

Bobby, are you boys with him? He produced something that was in. What did you produce? That game show I did. Oh, it's terrible. What was it called? How to Be a Fatso from England? Apparently he's terrible to, like, in a restaurant.

Well, the rumor was Balthazar. Yeah, Balthasar. He was like a dickhead. Yeah, yeah. What's his name? Who's the restaurants where they owns Balthasar? Los Andres? What?

Not Jose Andres, you fucking idiot. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no, you guys are inspiring me to talk to these idiots. Keith McNally. Keith McNally, yeah, yeah. Well, you blushed. You blushed? I'm used to get the useless just from one side.

You don't ever blush. Man up, you represent bad friends. Don't blush. You're right. Why, that's nice. Yeah, yeah. Don't act like a bitch, dude. Stop, don't talk to him that way.

Hey, fuck you, Adam, Freedman. Tried Wah, Lump. No, guys, he's Jamaican. Adam, Fryman. It's a complete honor and a privilege. to be guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm here, I'm here in Los Angeles, just visiting, and this is one of the stops I'm making.

What are you doing in L.A.? Yeah. You hate L.A. I don't, no, no, no, no, I don't hate L.A. Don't do that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no way, no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not. No, no, no, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm from here. I was born here. Yeah, but you're a New York guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, class. I mean, I'm just Jewish and wearing gloves. That's what I meant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We like to keep you guys over there.

They're Jews in L.A. I know, but here, they're there. We keep them in order. We keep them. Where, the Pico Robertson era? There, or Century City or Beverly Hills? Fairfax. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

South Beverly Hills, South Fairfax. Do you, like, have a wall around the... They wouldn't let us do it. Some sort of warsaw get it? I think it's pretty popular to be... Who do you think runs the industry that we work in? Chinese people? Yeah, no, no, that's not true at all.

Seriously? No, no, no, no. You don't think the Chinese run us? No, no, no. I do on stage I do a joke about if they have to not take it from the Jews

Hollywood and if they did you know Bobby they would make like what going to work one going to work two and stuff the Chinese it would be terrible I'm just saying if they ran it packed it instead of the Jews

Packed it a train is a good movie yeah it would be called yeah we don't know how to wait in line do you ever think about what it's like just there In China?

Yeah. Yeah, I haven't been. Have you been? No, but it's just, what, for like 60 years, they're just going like... Yep. Is that dynamite? No, I'm just like in a factory. Assembly line.

Oh, that's just like... He'd be the worst in assembly. That's how slow he goes. Yeah, fire to me. I'd be terrible. You gotta go quick. I mean, I'd be one of the worst Chinese imaginable. A little American kids get easy big ovens.

Their whole life, they're just this. That's what they get. I know. That's what they get. Imagine. And I have, I have a, I have a, I have a, my own, uh, YouTube, a Jewish style, a long-form interview talk show, and I complain, look at this. This is way, this is terrible. She loves it.

Also, what are they dreaming? What are they thinking? Are they fucking? Yeah, they're going to the club and fuck it. Really quick. How do they get drunk? At work. Yeah. No, they're not going to, no, they're not allowed to go to the bathroom at work. They have to poop their pants. I just think, yeah, what's, what do they do for fun over there? It just, it feels so for. Okay, we're working in a factory, Adam, okay? I'm not going to work in a fact-through. Let's do a scenario. Yeah, yeah.

Go ahead. Oh, my God, that was a tough. Hey, Cha-Tong. Hey, what's up? Oh, holy shit. I like the way you talk. Oh, yeah. I just spent some time in America.

We have to be back here in two hours. What do we do? Do we sleep, eat, or party? You don't get two hours. There's a suicide net. If you want to jump off the roof, then you have to go back and make more iPhones. Have you jumped into the net yet?

No. It's pretty fun. Tron? Yeah. Wow. You got to jump. It's a little bouncy. There it is. I've been in that net. Dude, that's so crazy.

What do they do after work? Yeah, what do they do after work? They go home. Are they watching Mandalorian? What do they do? They eat. They eat and they go to bed immediately. They go to bed because they got to be up in three more hours.

There's no TV? It's a tough life. Well, I'm glad there's no TV because the TV sucks. They're smart to not have TV. TV is awesome. They have sports games. Yeah, sports TV is different. But TV, TV shows?

Like, name a TV show you like. Sopranos? That's on right now. That is a current show. Inside the NBA. Yeah. See? Non-sports shows.

What's a good show right now? See? And just like that? Fuck you. That's a great show. I've seen every episode. I've seen every episode. I've seen every episode.

Why? Because I've got a good actor? No, I thought you were great. You know, Sarah and Jessica was on my show, actually. I love her. Yeah, yeah. She's so nice, you know? She's awesome.

She's awesome. She's the president of girls. Who's your white whale for your show? Amy Schumer probably. Or White Whale for the show? I don't know. What she liked, Amy Schumer? But I've never met her.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, mo jabba da cuckoo, and solo. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And solo, by Jabba da. Come on, we love her. We just have it. Come on. Yeah, is she nice? Is she nice?

Yeah. Well, yeah, I see her at the meetings. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, I'm Chuck Schumer's niece. Yeah, she says that to me. I'm like, I'm supposed to be impressed about it. Whose niece are you? Whose niece am I? Bibi and then Yahoo.

Hell yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to be somebody's. Somebody has a piece of it. Oh, no, I've gotten none of the advantages of, uh, you have no nepo shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no. Waste of time. I know, it sucks. Get out of this business.

That's what my parents told me. the night before I moved to New York. Well, don't listen to those Jews. I mean, but honestly. I mean, like, seriously, like, they were like, we don't know anyone in the, in the entertainment industry.

But as good as you are, as funny as you are, as talented as you are, to not have anything to help you out, stinks. Nick Mullen, pretty much, that's the only one.

And he's an anti-Semite. I mean, it's ironic. Yeah, like, it's pretty much the only person that's around. It's like, uh, no, yeah.

I remember, like, I thought, because I started in D.C., and I was like, I was like the glasses Jewish guy in like the local scene. And then I moved to New York. And I told my parents, I was like,

they're like, we don't have any connections in show business, you're gonna fail, you're an idiot. And then I moved to New York and they were like, there were probably 2,000 guys named Adam Friedland. Literally Adam Friedland, like just me. It's used. Yeah, there's nothing special about me whatsoever. Yeah.

Yes, there is. To do stand-up, you know? You know there's something special about you. Oh, I have a little secret. You know. I'll never tell. Where were you born in the city? Where were you born?

Santa Monica. You were born in the West Side? I'm on the Wikipedia. The West Side? Yeah. I'm on the Wikipedia at St. John's Hospital. Are you really? Yeah.

One of the most famous guys born there. Well, Mariska Hargatai. Mariska Hargatay. Big fans of her at this show. She was, she's on the list next to me, notable patients. It's not cool when you guys make lists, but this one's good. Is this Wikipedia? Media?

Friedland is... Who writes it? You can you can check out like... What? He's the former... What? ...theoncee of podcaster, Dasha. Oh yeah, he's currently engaged to...

Wait, no, come, don't... How does this know this? She gets mad. Well, did you put this out there? No, no. Look at the editors. You can check... Oh, God.

Guys, this is... This was terrible for me. Hot. Hot. I was... When I did the photo shoot for that article, they did... Comedy Central Presents Taking it easy.

Shane text me, he was like, it's actually making me so mad how gay this is. That's a cool photo. That's a cool photo, dude. And I love those chairs that you have on your show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, but I was on the chair. They asked me to do, like, or on the floor. And I was like, can you not use these?

I, like, stopped in the middle of it. And they used it as the main picture. And every comic's group chat was like, fuck this guy. Yeah, that's cute. And also, like, look at my cheeks. They, like, airbrushed me. Ugh, disgusting. What do you mean they airbrushed you?

Like, look at that. I mean, I have acne scarring. They got rid of it. Yeah, whatever. They can never get rid of mine. I have this big chunk here. They can't, even if they try, they're like, it gets worse. Yeah, what happened?

Are you, Accuton? Yeah, oh, yeah, dude. Yeah, me too. 100%. Me too. Twice. Yeah, yeah. How much rage against the machine do you listen to when you were on Accutton?

Literally, that's all I would listen to. I want to watch it to me. Fuck you, Dad! It makes you aggressive? It makes you crazy. It makes you kind of crazy. It makes you a little manic. Yeah, I took it my senior.

year and I was doing my college essays. Did you pick at your acne? Is that why they're scarring? No, this was because a group would, it would group and then, and then, we had cystic acne. It would layer it. But what's the cause of that kind of acne? Asian people probably in my proximity. The more of you that were around. Really?

You grew up around Asian people? They were everywhere these people. You can't get rid of them. I grew up in Vegas, actually. A lot of this is from. There were a lot of Filipinos. You like that? You like them?

I love them too. Those are good. They're the best ones. Those are good Asians. They're the second best people. What's the first? Mexican. I love Mexican.

Yeah. Third. What's mine? Yeah. What's your power ranking races? We should do it. We're like Bill Simmons. I can do my Asian list.

Yeah, yeah. Do you have an Asian list? No, no, not Asians. Just every kind of person. Every kind of person. Also, I cut off an injury. Okay. This is good.

We're sure. Yeah, top three races. Can I say, fat whites. Fat whites is up there? Some of the worst people. No, I love fight white because they're nice to me. No.

Good looking whites are not as nice. That's true. The guys are good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let's go. Korean. Korean's the best race for you. Well, I'm Korean.

I have to say that. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't put you. Okay. You're top 25. Okay. Number two Filipinos.

Yeah. Yeah. Three Mexicans. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Four, any kind of black. Any kind. Even like Minnesota?

Yeah. The Chappelle Lacey's a black, I like that guy. He's good. I mean, hey guys, I'm going to do an Ollie. All right. Yeah. Who's that? You know some black people?

Let's hear it. Well, you know, I like Fugazi and I like to Ali. No? You know how they... He likes black guys that like metal. Yeah. All black guys? Yeah, yeah.

All black guys, yeah, yeah. Have you ever met vampire Mexicans? Oh, yeah, I love that. El Paso, you got El Paso, Texas. You know, the... We got them here on the east side. They like Mars Volta, they like... Gio Delos, we're toast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like those times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that? Black guys, like, goth music is... Yeah, I love goth black. Goth blacks are cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look, oh, my God, they're my favorite, though. I know Trinity. It's crazy because they always sound like they're from California, even if they're not. Morpheus is my uncle. Morphias style. Yeah, yeah, morphia style black guys? Yeah, yeah, those are my favorite.

Yeah, yeah. As they try to go super-sayan, they think it's a real thing. Yeah, those guys? Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. At my show is wearing sunglasses in the audience. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like a snake, dark purple jacket. Yeah, I like that. No shirt. Yeah, no shirt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A tattoo of some sort of number.

Punk, is this punk Mexican? Punk Mexicans are great. Oh, I love that. Smith's Mexicans are the best. Yeah, Smith's Mexicans. I grew up with a lot of Mexicans. and I became like I earned their respect

because I smoked mota and I also smoked weed and they're like oh they Jewish kids they like they like weed too and I was like yeah yeah and they were like tell me Adam like you're like a emo

and I was like no I don't know and I was like I like the accent I was like I like radio head and like I don't know I guess I like music and they're like you like those Mets and I was like yeah I love the smiths and they're like

they were really interesting to the Smith, but specifically Morrissey. And I was like, but I was like, it's weird that you guys are into Morrissey because like you're homophobes. You're homophob. And they're like, that's a fucked up thing to say about Morrissey, man. Like they didn't know,

they didn't get that he was gay. They had no idea. Hymns hair. When hair starts to thin, confidence can too. That's why Hymns makes it simple to feel like yourself again with access to simple personalized care that fits

your life and your hair goals. Dr. trusted ingredients like finasteride monoxidil can stop further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. Hymns brings expert care right to you. 100% online access to personalized treatment plans that put your hair goals first. No hidden fees, no surprise cost, just real personalized care on your schedule. Think of Hymns as your digital front door.

It gets you back to your old self. Simple 100% online access to trusted treatments for. real health concerns all in one place and for simple online access to personalize and affordable care for hair loss, weight loss, and more. Visit hymns.com.com slash bad friends for your free online visit. Hems.com slash bad friends. Feature products include compounded drug products with the FDA. It is not approved or verify for safety effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details. Disrictions and important safety information. Individuals results may vary based on studies of topical and oral monocidal and asceride. Factor.

I have goals. Yeah, I got more goals than you, I feel like. Yeah, you do. And I'm meeting. When it comes to food and how are you meeting it? From Factor. Exactly. Thank you to Factor.

Cold days, big goals. No time to cook. Factor Meals makes healthy eating easy with fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs. So eat well without the planning or the cooking. We got a fridge full of Factor Meals here in the studio and they're fantastic because we're always on the go. We're on the move and I want something healthy and delicious.

That is also high protein, calorie smart. Mediterranean they got in. there. They got diet-friendly stuff, GLP1 support, and ready to eat salads, all for us on the go. No refined sugars, no artificial sweeteners, no refined seed oils, quality functional ingredients, including lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole food ingredients, and healthy fat. Always fresh. It's never frozen. It's ready in about two minutes. I mean, it's so fast. You need a good meal that's delicious and healthy, help you reach your goals, whatever they may be. You got to try Factor, man. head over to factormeals.com slash bad friends 50 off and use the code bad friends 50 off to get 50% off and free breakfast for a year.

Eat like a pro this month with factor. New subscribers only varies by plan. One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active. Shopify. Hey guys, we have an online business. If you have an online business, you got to do Shopify because you want something reliable. Yeah, I do. Yeah.

Easy dashboard. Simple to use. easy and efficient. You can accelerate your efficiency, whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones. Shopify's packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography. Thankfully for Shopify, they help our online business get whatever we need to use seamlessly and easily. And also, they got great customer support. What if people haven't heard about your brand? Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to run email and social media campaigns. Best part is that iconic

purple shop pay button that's used by millions of businesses around the world. That's why they got the best conversion in checkout on the planet. It helps you boost those conversions. Less carts are going to go abandoned and more sales for you. All right. So it's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com slash bad friends. Go to shopify.com slash bad friends Shopify.com slash bad friends genuinely though

all jokes aside who is the one that you want to get on there so bad there's got to be someone that you're like you know who'd be fucking perfect

for this show that won't do it Sydney sweet no cam just no no no just no cameras no

no condoms no cameras no card no condom I don't know Obama that'd be fun have you

have you chilled with him Bobby He's been here. He was just met Obama? I did just meet him. What was it like? It's a little annoying. No.

No, no, no. No, and he was wonderful. It was great. It was really good. Yeah, he's like magic. Sweet, such a sweet, like affable and also like disarming. Right as you talk to him, you're like, oh, I feel good. This is fine.

I want to ask him if he's depressed. I did. You did already? Yep. I said, how do you feel you look like you're depressed? No, you know what it is? I bet you he's... Can you imagine what it's like to be Obama?

It's got to suck. Yeah. Why? Because all the time, everything is all the time and you're the one. He's fucking Neo. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean? He is the one, yeah. You're the one. You're the one. You're the one for all the good and all for the bad. Well, no, more so it's just like everything

everything went crazy after he was the present. That's what I mean, it's also... He's got to be like, is it my fault? Well, 100%. Yeah. Are you doing? Yeah, that's what he looked like when I met him. Really? Yeah. Really? That looks a lot like Morpheus from the, from the movie The Matrix. Sure. Sure, if you're small-minded, but this is, if you really know what's going on in the world. He probably always has to be nice too.

When he's out in public, yeah, yeah, yeah. You feel like you have to? Yeah, but I don't have that kind of image. But you have a bad boy image. Yeah, you do. You do. You think I have a bad boy image? You do.

I'm nice to everybody. No, no, everyone says like you're- A gap? No, you're at the Viper Room, Sunset Street. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kiss the sidewalk where River died. There's a lot of stories I hear about people. I always do.

I miss you, River. When someone meets me and they'll go, You know, I met Bobby when he was in town or whatever. And I'll go, oh, yeah. And I'll go, yeah, he, like, threw a fork and, like, yelled at the server. And we loved it. Yeah, yeah. They love, they, they love when he's a fucking maniac.

You know, that's not true. You know that I'm a nice guy. No, but I'm saying you do you play. I don't do that. You play bits with people. You guys, you guys got a pipe up. You do bits, and we know you fucking do. Like people with less money than you?

Yes. Yeah. He does like doing bits with strangers. And then it leaves, he likes, it's like his, uh, What, Bill Murray? He, like, he wants to be Bill Murray. He wants, like, leave a nugget of a... Do you know what Bobby did here when he was here?

Oh, yeah. He loves that shit. Yeah, he, like, went to a wedding and, yeah. You do love that, don't lie. I guess so, yeah. You do. You're a rambling man. What?

A rambling man. I'm a ramblin man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Marble a man, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dick Hammer, we learn. You do that kind of thing. You go to, like, a random bar mitzvah,

and you go, like, Bobby Lee, just chilled with us all night. I would do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounds kind of sick, actually. Not a bar mitzvah. You wouldn't do a party. He would do it if it's like a, he would do it if it's like a, if it was like a small click

somewhere at a private little thing, he would bust in on that. Oh, famous people? No, he loves that. Oh, I love it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Famous. Famous.

He want to be famous. Who's the most famous person you have in your phone? It's not like him. What? Already, it's not like him. He has way more. I'm going to ask him. next but yeah who's yours um

fuck man uh it's not in my phone look what yep oh no I know I know I know I know he goes oh I know oh no look at that look look at it

what are you doing there dude it looks like I was going to point at something can you text a pick of me just go like this. Is that your girlfriend or wife? That's my wife, yeah. Yeah. Who do you have? I don't know. I don't, I don't, there's no one.

You know everyone that I know. That's not even Travis Kelsey. Do you have his number? No. You lie, fuck. Do you have Travis Kelsey's number? No. You really got, so how do you go, how do you hang out with him? DM.

Oh, you DM him on Instagram. Only DM. Oh, no, on Twitter. We don't use Instagram. Okay, all right. Only on X. Who's your most famous? I don't know it really Stavv maybe

Stobby Our boy Shane maybe Maybe I don't know Non-comics You got some people in there You know he knows Ian Fydance

Oh wow That's a good one I'm inspired I saw you too much We do it too much Jamie Lee Curtis We text her This why

Because you were in one of those Yogurt commercials Is there? It's yogurt for your pussy I didn't move With her one You think she got that to be like the mean stuff people say about me.

I'm gonna do the pussy yogurt commercial. Just go as far as you can. You're like, I'm gonna go all in then. Yeah, yeah. Try to fight me on this. Yeah. No, he did a movie with her, right? Yeah.

Which freakier Friday? No, it's called Borderlands. Nobody wants. Borat? Borderlands. Oh, it's that director. Eli Roth. Oh, no, never mind.

Yeah. Oh, he's good friends with Michael Bay. Michael Bay. Michael Bay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Yeah. Oh, my God.

Can you say my boy, Adam says the ambulance was fire? Yeah. I like that movie. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, what would happen if Michael Bay had drones?

Finally, he has drones. Thank God he has drones now. Oh my God. I love Michael Bay. Tax Michael Bay that Adam's here. Yeah. Yeah, just actually just say Adam's here. Just Adam.

Yeah. It says what up. That's it. You have no one. I don't really have anybody in my phone. Can I throw some names? out? Yeah. Beyond, Baitman? No. You know Bateman's number? No.

Okay. Charlie Day. No. It's all DMs. Really? All DMs. So you send your cock out to all these guys? Just to the dogs, yeah. Just the dogs, yeah. During COVID, me and my friends got addicted to that. Send your dick to the dogs. Just, yeah, in the boys chat, like my friend just, you know, middle of the lockdown, just said his penis. And I was, and he was like, yeah, it's, he said, the rule was it's gay to send it to girls, but it's cool if you're sending it to your friends. And then I said, I eventually played the game.

Yeah. And then, and then he's like, you're puffed. And I'm like, dude, no, I'm not puffed. And then he said it to my girlfriend to be like, is this puffed or is this really? You were puffed, though, weren't you? I was puffed. Yeah, yeah, we know when someone's puff, dude. I wasn't puff.

Well, you know what, hey, you know what also. Post stroke, though, does, that doesn't count as puff. after you have a stroke? Post stroke, post-cum. Oh, I don't know why I thought it was like, yeah. No, because after you nut, you're on the cum-down, so can you send a cum-down photo? Well, that's puffed.

No, because puff is on the way up. I think that is the deflation, the depuff is, that's not on you. How fast you deflate? Post? Yeah, how fast you deflate? The point is I wanted it to look beautiful for my friend. Yeah, we got it.

But, I mean, how quickly? How quickly after you nut does it deflate. It depends on how quick my wife is coming. upstairs. I'm barely hard at this point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, it's pretty fast for me. I can get it. Three minutes. Full minutes. Yeah, three minutes for me. Yeah, three minutes of deflation. Yeah. What are you 13 years old? Yeah, yeah. What are you the healthiest man in the world? No, I use Bluetooth. Oh, yeah. Shout out to, oh, they don't do us anymore. They don't? No, they did, they did come down for a very long time. Yeah. Yeah. We used to do make irresponsible claims.

Are you doing shows in town or now? No, I was just in Seattle for doing a weekend, and now I'm meeting with some of the most powerful executives. Wait, what club's up there? There's a new one, Emerald City. Have you done up there? No. Seattle, last time I did it, was a club that closed years ago.

Parlor Live I used to play. Yeah, parlor. Yeah, yeah. I play there every year. But that's closed forever now. This is new. Emerald City? Yeah, it was like, it was like nice.

Yeah, it was my first weekend after a year. because I took the year off the road to get the talk show up and running and so yeah so it was like my first weekend back out it was so fun it's actually like yeah you know when you're doing stand-up all the time you hate it

yeah yeah yeah it really I feel like a young kid again I feel like a bright-eyed kid again wow do you bring someone with you yeah I brought my boy Caleb out on the road and he has to do anything I said hell yeah no yeah I brought my friend Caleb who also works on the talk show with me

a writer on the talk show. And yeah, no, it was like, it was funny remembering how to do an hour. Yeah. Yeah. And then like, yeah. And then, like, yeah, and then you get it back down and you're like, oh, actually, this is a blast again. Yeah.

Yeah. And then, uh, whatever. Cut all that. Jesus Christ. Last night I was at the store, I was about to go up and I just laughed. Were Gelson's? Yeah, Gelsons. I just, I just looked on stage.

I was like, I don't want to do it. Why? It was the first time I was ever like that Where I was like, I'm not gonna do it Are you over it because the hour's done? Yeah, I just looked at Because Sebastian was up there killing And I was just kind of like, I'm gonna go home

You have a suck on a dick Yeah, yeah Just for fun Who did? He killed a woman On stage? It would be funny. Let me say, you have anxiety?

What's going on here? No, I'm a, I'm a fidgety guy. Yeah. You mentioned Sebastian Manist Kelk, um, Adam, do you take anything?

Uh, do I take anything? Yeah. Uh, yeah. For depression or anything? Yeah. Jankum? Jankum. Jankum.

You're off and Janko? Jokko. Yeah. No, I don't take anything. I just got on Lexopra. I'm not a whackadoo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever taken anything?

Cock. Yeah, a lot of cock. When I was in college. Mm. I tried to do, uh, oh, man. Accut. One of the antidepressants.

I don't know which one I did. Zoloft. Yeah, one of those But your penis doesn't work, right? No, mine still did. Oh, nice, brother. Yeah, mine still did. It wasn't that.

I felt like a woman. I'm depressed. I'm sad about the world. I mean, you're supposed to, isn't everyone depressed? Yeah. It's sad that you die, right? What? I mean, I feel like depressed is like

everyone should, everyone should be depressed, right? Yeah. Varying levels, yeah. All the time, though. I mean, it's, Yeah, if you're going to die one day, so that's really sad. Yeah, you don't get to be alive after that. I'm on the fence about it.

I am depressed, but it's like, I mean, I think that's what drives. Yeah, there's the thing about L.A. comedy. They fucking talk like this, like women to each other. Not like in New York. Not like in New York. You got all those kings of comedy out there busting down the walls of these sensitive guys. I rewatched the King special in Seattle this weekend. it was my favorite comedy special as a kid

Oh, Kings of Comedy? Yeah, it's so good. Yeah. It's so funny. It's so good. The fucking Titanic bit is, I think it's the funniest stand-up bit of all time. That's whenever that one?

The Steve, the Steve Titanic bit? Uh-uh. Oh, my God, he's an unbelievable. What a genius. Give it. He did it. Well, it's that same joke about if black people, you know, yeah, yeah.

But do it in his tone. He said, I hated that dry-ass, long-ass movie. and he's like something about the little boy that killed at drown these motherfuckers you know

he establishes that he doesn't like the movie Titanic and then he says you know what you never hear about 3,000 black people

dying at the same time which is like you know that's a joke we've you know like it wouldn't have been like that it hadn't been black people and he's like

you saw that movie the band kept playing as the shit went down and he's like what kind of Black band keeps playing. Cool and the gang would have been rude. That's funny.

And then and then he talks about how he does this act out, which is this really takes it to the next stratosphere where he has this tiny little side table. And he turns it over. And he's like, I would have been turned it over the damn table. And then there's a dinner napkin on top. And he's like, open it up a dinner napkin. And then he does this thing.

where he's blowing on the dinner, like a sail, and he's kicking people. Thank you, Robert. Yeah. Yeah. Are you Robert? Yeah. Robert Lee?

Yeah. Call me, what do you want? Okay. I like Robert Lee. It makes you instantly like a, yeah, like a, ooh, maestro. Robert Lee. A general.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have the same name as the general. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Well, your middle name is young. Young Lee. Yeah.

With an E? What do I? Young lean? You have the best name of all time Young Lean Wow That song was so good Yeah yeah yeah

I love yeah I love music Now you love young You love young lean I think he's really cool Yeah This kid's great Bitches come and go

Brut Yeah Yeah You know that Robert He doesn't know that You don't know That's a reference

That is not gonna go near him What kind of music do you listen to Karaoke Oh that kind of Come on, dude. That's good. Stop it. Yeah, yeah.

Why? What? I like it. I like it seeing someone pouring their heart out. But no, I'm more like, you know, I've always been more into like, you know, all to, kind of stuff, you know? That's not true. What do you mean?

You like commercial shit. Like Coldplay? Sure. I love Coldplay. Yeah. First two albums pretty good. Yeah, you like commercial shit too. You like all of it.

I like all of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love, I love Coldplay. Yeah. Yeah. You have his number? No, I don't. Oh, okay.

No. I like fans like the Pixies and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Sonic Youth. And what's Andrew more into? You know, he's into everything.

Like he's a true... He likes everything. Hip-hop historian. I love hip-hop. You are. Yeah, he knows a little bit of everything. Big Wigger. Like jazz.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're a jazz guy. I like soul. Yeah, I like jazz. Yeah, yeah. I told Jay to kiss when he came on the show. Fucking love Jay.

I came out of the closet. I was like, I feel bad. bad but I we used to me and Jewish guys used to we'll lock the door and put on Mitchell and Ness and just pretend to be like you and he was like that he he he thought it was cool he didn't he I had to come clean why would why would you think he wouldn't like it though uh I mean it's embarrassing so what yeah yeah he'd be like yeah you're pussy I don't know I have found out from the from the talk show that rappers have gotten along with rappers and it it has made me feel love comedy a lot of do. It's a dream. I mean, it's like a bar mitzvah or something. I find the, the approval of a rapper.

It's huge. Yeah. I had G. Herbo on the show. On your show. Yeah, yeah. And we got along famously. And it was like, uh, I was like, it's incredible. It's incredible. It's incredible. I mean, he's probably killed, like, three maybe. But three is not that bad. Three's not a lot. Five, five and up. He grew up in like fucking literally Blackhawk down. I mean, like, Southside of Chicago was like. Toughest part of the world. Yeah. Is this still tough? I mean, yeah. What happens? I mean, I mean, what happens? I Why is it so tough? What happened? What happened? 13-year-olds have guns.

Oh, they do? Yeah. Yeah, kids have guns. It's like legal, correct me if I'm wrong, it's legal under a certain line of demarcation for, like, if you're black, if you kill another black person, basically. But, like, North, if you, like... Well, the cops aren't going to stop anything.

No one's going to break anything up. I mean, they should probably, right? No. No? No, you got to let it go. Do you have Lori Lightfoot's number? Yeah, you want to call her? I'm trying to.

You're trying to fuck? You have her number? Who's that? Fuck no. Lori Lightfoot. Yeah, didn't Trump call her Mayor Crackhead? Mayor Crackhead, yeah. Yeah, that wasn't very nice.

Chicago's homicide rate per capita is significantly higher than New York City and Los Angeles, Philadelphia being the closest. Not still, he's still not us, Philly. Because when I'm in Schaumburg, I don't feel it. That's not where we're, that's not. That's not it. Yeah, yeah. No, it's crazy there.

I just see mini malls. Yeah, that's all the malls. Zanis, Rosemont. No one's going to get clipped out there. Schaumburg. I play the improv, yeah. So from the Schaumburg improv, how far do I have to go?

It's north, south side? It's southeast from there. And it's Schaumburg is northwest of Chicago. Shamburg is northwest of Chicago. Northwest, right? So how far would have to drive down to get the south? Like an hour to get to where you want. Where I want to go.

No, you don't want to go. Yeah, but if I step out of the car, I go, hello, what would happen? They go, that's a bad TV, motherfucker. Mad TV, mad TV. You'd be good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd be good. You would.

Yeah, yeah. If I go, hello. And then I'd step out and they go, that's the motherfucker with that dude on mad TV. You'd be like, oh, it's Miss Swan is here. There go Miss Swan. Oh, it's the Miss Swan. Yeah. No, they're like, oh, he was on, and just like that, he did the podcast with Carrie.

He was fabulous. Carrie and Jay Diaz. I love, I watched the whole thing. I had no idea what was going on that. Wait, I never read it, I just didn't know. Wait, you weren't a fan? I had no idea about what it was all about. Why?

Because I put in the work. I know all about it. I don't know. They called, I mean, I was culturally. Have you seen sex in the city? Culturally, I know what it is. Culturally? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but, you look great. That shirt's cool. Did you bring your own wardrobe? They may be wear that. And this is what people like you wear, right? It's like a paparazzi style. It is. That looks like you guys are just out in L.A.

the stars are just like us. And just like that. And just like that, the stars are like us. She was very nice. She's so kind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had her on my show and a gay fella told me that I showed her in a light that no one has. Oh, really?

If a gay person says that, they know this shit. Wow. Yeah, they know this type of shit. What kind of light did you show her in? As like her personality in like a just, yeah, in a genuine way. I tried to do that on the show. So it's like kind of a sweet. It was a really nice.

I mean, if a sodomite, a homosexual, if a butt pirate says that to you. What happened to a butt pirate? But pirate? That's an insane. But, but pirate. But you know,

it was surprisingly like, she was surprisingly kind of down to earth. And the experience wasn't like, because my fear is, oh my God, you know what I mean? Because if she was rude, then I'd be like,

I don't want to do this. You know what I mean? But it's like she was pretty, cool, you know, so. Yeah, yeah. Did you rip ass on set? Did you ever rip ass around any? What?

I asked her, yeah, we did a thing where we asked her, um, I did like fake questions from like friends and I got Caleb to leave one of the voicemails and he's like, hey, like, um, I just want to address the elephant in the room. Like, was there ever a time where like Charlotte or Miranda or you just like farted like really disgustingly? All you're making the show and like, who's your favorite favorite boyfriend? And she was like, she was like, I think that's the one that pushed a little too far. She's very proper.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like a reader. Yeah. Did she ever tell you about that? No. No, well, he likes to read books. You didn't chat with it. What?

You never chat. Oh, no, this was, you were like sitting, she's like reading something. You know, I'm playing a candy crush. Yeah. Really, you didn't, you didn't vibe out? Whoa, good morning. Good morning. Is that something?

Yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah. Oh, you're not making her sound good though. Yeah, yeah. No, I would say it. No, she'd be reading.

She'd be reading. She'd be like, how was your, do you sleep well? I go, she asked about your sleep. You know, and that kind of. Good morning is nice. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a nice thing. She'll go, have you ever been up to Sedona or something?

She said that? Yeah, yeah. That's really nice. It's really nice. It's really nice this time of year. Did you get Jade on your show from a guy named Vinny? Vinny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, he told me he knows you. One of my good friends. Yeah. That's crazy. Have you seen his tattoo on his butt? I've seen it all. That tattoo is the, he's the one of one tattoo. He's the man. You met him. You met him. You met him.

You know, yeah, Vin, I don't know, on his ass, he has the Dallas Cowboys star next to a Palestinian flag. Yeah. What is that? That's not the same tattoo. The combination of those two things is, uh, unbelievable. Well, Jerry Jones is Palestinian. That's why he got it. Yeah, yeah. He was, uh, yeah, he was in the, uh, uh, PFLP.

for a while. I thought mine would look like a Dallas Cowboy Star Now it's just a star but it covered up a what A name? What was it? It was a butterfly.

Butterfly, that's right. What? So you were like I'm embarrassed to have a butterfly somebody? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was drinking I had a butterfly tattoo there.

Okay. I was drunk and then I was embarrassed I put a star on top of that. That's a good story. You have tattoos or no? No, I have no respect for any tattoo I've ever seen ever. It's like street art.

Yeah. Am I going to look at a graffiti and be like, No, no, I mean. You don't have a no. I don't know. Why would I do that? Yeah.

It's ridiculous to get that. Silly. Filly. Ferever? Filly. Ferever? He's got them all over. Wow.

Well, I like the Mad TV tattoo. You've actually earned that one, too. Yeah, at Comedy Store. How many seasons were you Mad TV? Eight years. Oh my God. You're the cool. That's so cool.

Yeah, I was on it. Yeah. It was so cool back then. It was so funny. Yeah. It was just, I used to watch it. Did you say something, though? I prefer this.

S&L? No, this. Oh, sorry. Hanging out with you like this thing. This kind of thing? Yeah, there's no notes. There's no somebody saying, you know what I mean? You can't do that.

Well, these are the conversations that comics have when no one's watching. Yeah, exactly. There's no like, oh, you're 20 minutes late, what the fuck? You know what I mean? They said that on a mad TV to you? You would get in trouble if you were like an hour late or whatever. Really? Yeah, yeah.

How did Artie survive? I wasn't on with him. but, you know, I mean, he barely survived. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The story he tells about the pig thing is, yeah, the funnier. Crazy, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You never did anything with him.

No, I never met him. I mean, I know him now, but like, back then you did, no, no, no crossover. No crossover, no. I crossovered with Alex Borstein, who did Ms. Swan, you know what I mean? Yeah, oh, I thought, oh, never mind. I thought that was, that was, that was. Were you like, hey, this is what the hell is this?

Oh, no. No, you came up with that? No, I didn't come over that. No. But if someone was doing it. a character on Madsie V with me, like Heshi Tessowitz, the pedophile. I would be like a little bit like you're a black guy. Why are you doing? For me, it's comedy. There's no bounds. There's no bounds. She's also so, she's so good at it.

She's so good at it. She's so good. Yeah. My friend actually, his, his mom was a dentist. She did Alex Borstein's teeth. Or no, no, no. He wrote a letter to Matt TV. And he said he loved the Miss Swan character. And she sent back a, of what do you call it, a headshot. and it said, Phil, you look like a man, and then she signed it. Yeah, and he had it next to a Stone Cold thing because his mom did Stone Cold's teeth. Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

You look like a man. Phil, you look like a man. That's so funny. Who wrote that? She did. Really? She came up with that. Yeah, with the character, yeah.

You know what she said to me when I got on the show? She pulled me aside. She goes, get off the show as quickly as you can. She said that to you. Because I hate it here. Oh, I thought she was like, I don't want to see your,

Celestial ass around this Listen, you fuck How long was she on? Three or four years She's lowest, no? Yes. Yeah. Wow, she's the best lady

Of all time. Oh my God. You have her number? No. Why didn't you get her in? There's some cast members who I just never clicked with. She was one of them.

She was one of them, yeah. Do you play clubs here when you're in town or no? No, no, no. Come to the store. Why don't you come tonight? Are you there tonight? Are you there tonight?

No, I'm out. Val Halla, you mean? I'm either tonight. Really? Next week, Monday. Oh, you're gonna do Monday? Monday, Tuesday. Yeah.

Yeah. You have Jay's number? No. Oh, yeah. You have Jay's number? He's upstairs. What, Jay, Jay, Jason, I know. I love him so much.

He comes to the store now more. I don't know why he's been coming a lot, but he has. Is he? He's amazing? Everyone says that thing about the late 70s. But the late 70s, they say everyone was like, that was the best comic I've ever seen. Well, you know, and the store was the divide between him and Letterman. It was either you were his side or.

his side. Yeah, and then he crossed the picket line during the strike. How pathetic is that striking? Yeah, yeah. From what? From fucking state. How pathetic? We're going to start a union. What is this fucking lay miserab? Yeah, but they never got paid anything. I know. And the store was getting all the money. I mean, I mean, Jay like,

J like crossed the picket line in a fucking like clown car or something. And then Mitzie gave him a drink ticket. Yeah. You know so much about that. Me? Yeah. I was there, dude. I was there, brother. Oh my God, you should have seen it, you should have seen it. You should have seen. That was the good time.

I think you're like Andrew in that way that you guys know tibits of something like a lot. But it's about comedy, dude. That specifically, everybody knows those stories. But that's also why, like, young people divided on who they liked more was Letterman or Leno. But I hated that, I hated that. I liked all of them. Yeah, but it became this kind of thing. It's like that generation.

It's like Eagles are Rolling Stone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's bullshit. I mean, I like Conan as a kid because he was silly. Love Conan. Yeah.

It was like a slain. floppy fun show. But I love Jay. Just finding fucking. Come on. They're friends. I'm friends. They're a friend.

Yeah, just fighting dumbasses and asking them one plus one. It's so fun. You want to plug anything? Adam Freeland show. Do girls come to your guys shows? It's all guys. It's all guys. It's all insurrectionist. We're doing it. The capital.

capital next year. Actually, because of the talk show, there's like more, now there's like, yeah, like parents. I would say we get a lot of couples. We get a couple. A lot of couples. Hostages. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, actually, girls like this show. Well, you guys are more sex symbol kind of style. Thank you. For me, I commend, yeah, I just loser. No, no, I love the boys. Shout out to the you're the craziest. It's like they let out the insane asylum. Or Adam, look in the camera and go, Thank you for being a bad friend I mean that's how we close the show

All right thank you for being a bad friend Yeah that's good That sucks Why did you guys do that? You make the guest do it? That's fine