Bad Friends - Alfalfa Sprout & Toco Choco

Episode Date: January 24, 2022

New Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors:  http://headspace.com/badfriends & https://stitchfix.com/badfriends & https://www.babbel.com/badfriends & https://upstart.com/badfriends & http://buffy.co code: BADFRIENDS 0:00 500.000 Subscribers? 1:50 Doc Got Covid and Rudy Can't Poop 8:36 Bobby Apologizes to Brad Williams 16:45 Rudy's Body Count 10:03 The Alfalfa Sprout Disease 25:53 Should Rudy Fall Khalyla's Path with Men 28:35 Fred Savage and Sin City Saints 37:49 The British Woman with the Chinese Accent 43:42 Bobby and Andrew go Freaky Friday 47:03 Bobby's Pink Toes 54:24 Leonardo DiCaprio or Tom Cruise? 58:24 Bobby Wants to Be a Hip Jew 1:07:09 Rudy's Boston Accent 1:09:18 Happy 100th Episode!Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun This podcast episode was sponsored by Candy Crush Sponsorships: on for this episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. What's that sound they do? Pow pow. It's our 100 episodes of Bad Friends, guys. We're in our new studio. We've been doing this now for 100 episodes. And thank you for coming along for the ride. Say thank you, Rudy.

Thank you. And we don't ask a lot from you. No. In fact, we don't ask anything. Yeah, never. And we're asking one thing. We're asking for you guys to take us over the $500,000 mark. We want to get to a half a million subscribers on YouTube.

Take us over the 500,000 and God, you know what? You know a lot of these religious programs? Yeah. The offer like, you know, if you send us this, this will happen. This will happen to you, yeah. We believe that God will give you something. If you subscribe.

We believe that God will give you something. We don't know what it is, but we're not making any promises. If you subscribe and get us over the half a million and also you have to hit the notification bell so you know that we post, because we post every single Monday. And Monday.

And Monday. Yeah, yeah. I was just gonna say this. Every Monday. Jesus and Buddha, right? Gandhi. And Gandhi. I'll love it.

Everybody loves it. They love this program. So please subscribe. We wanna get to a half a million. Please. And thank you for watching the episode. I love you. It means a lot to us.

We love you. Bye. Hey, everyone, come see me. I've got just a couple of tour dates left. I'm in Chicago Theater, February 5th. And then, and then I go to Seattle and Portland and Albany and Foxwood and Vegas and Green Bay. I've never seen your act before,

but when I saw you in San Diego, you were the greatest comic ever seen. Shut up. Even if I'm not there in spirit, I'm there in spirit. You're there in spirit. And I'm always there. Yeah, you're always there.

So come. So come. Yeah. So come see me. Go to AndrewSantino.com. AndrewSantino.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. Little blocky got a little bit. Honestly, out of all the people to get COVID, he was the most worrisome. Why is that?

He just looks like COVID, kind of to me. He has a little COVID-esque. Yeah, he's got a vibe. Like, no, you know, he looks like he just looks like he's already defeated. Yeah. Well, he does have COVID. If he's got COVID in a ring, you and I would be like, oh,

yeah, he's he's he's got it. Yeah, it's over. We're on his corner. We just pack it up. Throw it in the towel. Yeah, it would pack it up. But he's alive. He's alive.

He's still alive. How long how long has doc has COVID, ladies and gentlemen? How long has doc had COVID now for three days, four days? For a couple weeks. Are you serious? Yeah. For a couple weeks. Because I've been checking on him for a couple weeks.

Wow, I didn't know. Are you alive? Yeah, Doug. Thanks for checking up on me. Oh, yeah, man. I'm fine. COVID ain't going to take me down. But can I just say this before we start?

We almost didn't make it because we almost died on the way over here. And that's not even a joke. I don't know why you're laughing. It's not even a joke. I don't know why you're laughing. It's really sincere. In the new studio, do I need to tell you to put the mic closer to your face?

No, it's insane. It's insane. How is it still? Will you turn on my headphones? Just real quick, when I came over here, I stopped by the little 7-Eleven because I love refreshments. Sure. And I have money.

You have money. Yes, I like to buy things. You do like to buy things. Yes, so we're there. And I go, Jules, you want to go? And she goes, no, I went in there and I went and bought. Pedialyte. Pedialyte.

OK. I come back out. It's Gatorade, Pedialyte. It's beautiful. I come back out and the car door is open on her side. She's dead. No. No?

I walk in. She doesn't say anything, right? Now, I don't know why the car door is open, but when I walk in the car, imagine this, smelling. Yeah. Let's suppose an egg, ate an egg, got it, shit up an egg, got it, right? And then just left it on like, you know,

wrought an egg on some concrete in the summer, Boston. Like under the sun? Under the sun, Boston, right? And then a cockroach, a family. An entire family of cockroaches? They start, they go, it's a swimming pool. Yay. One of them is like, no, it's not.

But is it? No. It's not. But they win that they all died. The egg gets formed. Anyway, she did a fart. She did a fart, dude, that I literally went, should we go to the hospital?

Is it, what died inside of you? I don't know, I haven't pooped in four days. Why haven't you pooped in four days, bud? I can't. What do you mean? Nothing's going on. Do you sit on the toilet for a long enough time? No, because they said you get hemorrhoids.

No, OK, first of all, who says they? Atical Isla. Has she had hemorrhoids? No, but. She doesn't know at all. She doesn't know at all. My fucking girlfriend is a fucking know-it-all. She thinks she knows about hemorrhoids.

She doesn't know anything. She doesn't know anything. She knows a lot. She knows a lot of medical stuff, but you know what? She's not here, so I'm going to say it. She's a know-it-all. Damn.

You know what, dude? Are you eating enough fiber? No, I don't know. Bring up a list of things that have high fiber in them. High fiber. And then we can see, by the way, Bobby, do you like our new TV? Because it's fucking huge for you.

It's a 65 inch TV. I understand this, but the thing is that the screen is still too long for my eyes. What are you talking about? It's the biggest fucking. The screen needs to be here. It's the biggest TV. I'm not going to mess with you.

Imagine if it was right in front of you. Do you want us to get a drop-down TV right in front of your face? Yeah. OK, we'll get one. But I want it so that I can press a button. Like, how about in the voice? Woo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, well, we'll do that. Guys, work on that. I also want a light that does something. All right, so Bobby, read the list of things that have high fiber in them. Honestly, from here, I'm going to show you

what that says to me. No, go back a little bit to show you what it was. That says, sirar's grom. That says, shaman and shonkel, five grom. That one says, August 6th. That one says, apatow. Yeah, apatow, apatow, apatow, apatow. He has high fiber.

Yeah, yeah. No, it says apples. So I've never seen her eat an apple. I've never seen her eat raspberries. I've never seen her eat an avocado. Bananas? Bananas, a lot. You eat a lot of bananas.

High in fiber. Yeah, yeah. Carrots, I've never seen her eat. Beets, I've never seen her eat. Right. Schrockling on none of that. Artichoke, brussel sprouts. None of the stuff you've ever, lentils?

Do you know what lentils are? No. Take a guess. Small beans. Got it. Kidney beans, split peas, chickpeas. OK, so all of these things that have high fiber, you eat none of them.

OK, this is why you can't poop though. It's just bananas. OK, I know, but how many bananas? Once every other day or three days? You got to eat more fiber every day. You know what? Can we get, can you guys, let's have George reach out to, what's the thing that old people have,

and they stir in there at night before they go to bed? Metamucil. Metamucil? So reach out to. I was going to say cyanide. Cyanide, so they don't wake up. Cyanide. Let's get some of this for her.

Can we get some metamucil to see if we can get her to shit? And can we have a shit tracker for her? Like a, just to find out we need a shit tracker. Well, you know, I shit. So two weeks ago, I, I had an emergency. I shit in the parking lot of the Grove of that. You shit in one of the nicest outdoor malls in America. So my brother and my brother almost,

my brother almost goes, I don't think you're my brother anymore, man. Like it was that humiliating damn because it wasn't like at night. It was like it was like seven in the middle of the day. It was like seven. But what did you do? You pull your pants.

So we went to go see the movie, Licorice Pizza. How was it? Loved it. And it's, what's his name's movie, right? Yeah, Paul Thompson, PTA. Also, you're, you're watching Magnolia tonight. No.

Okay. Oh my God. What? She's a disgust. Oh, you also remind me. So gassy. She said something even crazier. Yeah.

Remind me later, because I'm not even done with this. Okay. So we went. So I go and I go, I got to go to my car because I forgot my cigarettes or something. And as I went toward my car and I, now I, you know, the movie theater is there, right? I parked where the fucking farmer's market is.

Okay. It's far. It's far. It's a walk. It's pretty far. It's a walk. Right. So as I'm walking, I fart a little bit and a little poo comes out.

Normal. It's not normal. Everyone here is farted and a little poo's come out. Normal. No. That's never happened. In Japan once. In Japan.

Thank you. But it's Japan. All right, that's true. It was in Japan. Yeah, it's a Japanese thing to do. Oh, yeah. Just a little bit came out. Oh, can I say something too?

And I want to apologize to Brad Williams. Why? You didn't do that to him. He was born that way. No, no, no, no, no, I do. I have to apologize to Brad Williams right now because I've been thinking about apologizing to him because the forget the Grove story. There's another poo story that he's involved with that happened as well. You shit on Brad Williams.

No, it's close. He is perfect poo. It is perfect, but he's even worse. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So I would I was at the improv. Okay.

And I was about to go up and this kid went up before me and he fuck it. I'd never seen him before this kid. And you're going to know his kid. You know his name? I do. But are you going to be able to guess it? He's a new kid. He killed improv, packed room, white kid, killed it.

What? And I shit my pants. He was so good. And I had to follow him. Did you have shit in your pants when you went on stage? No, up in the green room upstairs. So he was down there. I was looking down.

His name is Trevor Wallace. Oh, yeah, I know who that is. Yeah, yeah. He's so good. He crushed. He crushed it. And what did you do? I started shaking.

Nervous. Right. I shit my pants and then the host goes up. Right. And I pull my sweats down. I pull my underwear down. I pull my underwear, put it in a fucking ball. I throw it in the corner of the green room.

I pull my sweats back on. I barely make it on stage, Rob. There's a poop. So there's poop underwear upstairs in the green room. Right. In a ball. Now, can I say this too? Go looking for it, guys.

Poop scavenger hunt underwear on now. But also years ago, I got banned from a club because I left poo in the fucking green room. Seems pretty reasonable. Right. So now I'm paranoid. I get off stage. I go straight to the comedy store because I have a new spot.

You don't bother to go clean up your poo underwear. I don't remember it. Really? No, because I just do a spot. I'm late for my spot. All right. I feel like I remember it. Can I just say this right now?

Happy New Year to you. Happy New Year to you. And I feel like you're being judgmental. So I want to rewind it a little bit and go. And I don't want any judgment from you. Can I tell you something? I'm glad you're one of my best friends. You're one of my best friends?

I want to say that right now a lot. You're one of my best friends. And I love you. I love you. No. I'm not even done, dude. OK. I love you so fucking much, man.

You're like a brother to me, man. I love you. So anyway, it felt good, though? Yeah, it was great. I thought we were going to get somewhere else with it, but yeah. I'll take what I can get out of it. But I really meant that. I meant it, too.

I love you to death. You so much. What is it? Look me in the face right now. Say I can't live without you. One, two, three. I can't live without you. Thank you.

So your poo underwear is up at the Improv. And here you are. You're racing in the store because you got a 9.45 spot. So now check this out. My story right now is like Magnolia. It's all over the place, but it's going to make sense. So on fifth, years ago, I had another poo incident that Brad Williams, where I left a poo thing,

where I left a poo somewhere, and I hunted him down for his advice what to do. Because you know, Midge, it's always. I don't know why. I don't know why. That's why I want to apologize. And then this time around, I was at the comedy store. I was freaking out.

I hunted down Brad. Well, where's Brad? And everyone's like, oh, Brad went over on there. I went to find Brad to help me figure out how to figure out this poo situation. But in my head, I'm like, do I think that little people have better knowledge of poo or something? I feel like little people do probably poop themselves

more than we think. That's why. I think they just. You know why? Don't say that. That's very crazy. Well, their organs are smaller. It's got it processes so fast.

It's got to get out of there faster. I never thought of it medically. Let me call Brad and see if he's got so many. Let's see. Let's see if Brad thinks, because people could be saying, oh, you're being hideous right now. You're being hideous. No, I came here to apologize, bro.

I know. But maybe your assumption was true that maybe LPs do know more about shitting their pants than normal people. OK. Or I'm a regular, hideous human. I don't know what's the terminology for that. But we'll see if perhaps Brad. What's up, buddy?

Hey, buddy, you're on the podcast with me and Boob. We got a question for you. All right, fire away. Bobby shit his pants. And he did it twice. And he feels like he has to always seek your help when he shits his pants. Hey, Bobby, I kept your secret.

I didn't tell anybody. What a good friend. And that's number one. That's why I go to Little People. Well, you remember? They love keeping secrets. They love it. They love it.

They're so good at it. Well, they can hide them in those trees. Also, they never told anyone where the wizard was. Right. Never once. Not once did they tell you where the wizard was, bro. Brad. They're good at secrets.

Why are you telling Andrew there's a wizard? I told you that in college. See, you broke his teeth. Yeah. Also, have you been to the chocolate factory? They don't give cop stoppers for free. No, you have to work for it. You go to Little People, right?

They're good at like being loyal to their company. Correct. Right? And they're good about their word. Correct. They're very good. Have you watched Peter Dinklage in his movies? Yeah.

He's always playing a businessman. He is. He's got something important to do. Always. Yeah, yeah. And he always keeps secrets. Brad. He's a good guy.

Brad, first of all, we both love you very much. Bobby wanted to apologize. I apologize. Every time there's a poo thing, I always come to you. And I want to do it. Next time, I'm going to go to Chelsea Handler or somebody else. Let me say this, though.

OK. Brad, except there's apology anyway. But also, do you think that his intuition, his instinct, might be keen on the idea that perhaps LPs are a little bit more knowledgeable of what to do in those situations than anybody else? Well, first of all, Bobby, I absolutely miss after your apology.

And you could always come to me with any poo news. See? And don't worry. We're friends. I'm going to keep that just between you and me. This is a popular pop cat. Everybody knows about it. Everybody knows him.

Yeah. Now, now, now everybody knows. But yes, you are correct. And I think he just looks at me because dwarfs typically have larger asses. So maybe he's like, Brad has the knowledge. He's growing my fucking mind right now. You're the biggest ass.

You realize how big his ass is? There's got to be a lot of shit coming out of there. But here's the thing. The shit doesn't come through the cheeks. With them, it does. No, it doesn't. That's the difference. It's not like the cheeks are full of shit, dude.

No, the cheeks are full of shit. The two. What else is in the cheeks? That's true. I never thought of it that way. It's poo being dragged down. Because of the gravity. And also, Brad and Rudy over here, you know Rudy, Jules,

Rudy hasn't shit in four days in four days. Any advice? Get your affairs in order because you're probably going to die. Probably going to die full of shit. You're going to die, so I'll get your affairs in order. Brad, I love you. We love you very much, Brad. We love you, bud.

I apologize. Happy New Year, buddy. Happy New Year. Bye. The best. So you want to share? You're going to die. Yeah, Jules, you want to share?

I don't want to die just because I didn't poop in four days. But you've got to poop. It's waste leaving the body. Otherwise, you're storing waste. You know Elvis? He died with a bunch of poop in his body. A lot of. How many pounds of poop did Elvis have in his body?

So you're going to be Elvis. And you know where he died, too. On a toilet. Toilet. With a peanut butter and jelly fried banana sandwich. That's real. Yeah. Look at this.

You know where that sandwich was? Read that. In between his breast. Read that out loud, Bobby. The corner found. You've got to bake it bigger for him. No, Bob. No, no.

Sit down. They're going to make it big. The corner found over 35 pounds of white, chalky, fecal matter in Elvis's colon. 35 pounds of poop inside of Elvis. That's a king, baby. That's a king, baby. And you're the queen.

And you probably have more poop inside of you. You've got to be in this place. Imagine if. How much do you weigh? 115. Can you imagine if like 70 pounds of it was just poop? If she was really. She'd disappear.

What if that she. Oh, you need the poop inside you to stay alive. It exists. That's what it is. She needs matter. You need to have you have to have matter. Otherwise, there's nothing there. So I want to tell the boys, because we care about you.

You're like our daughter. Tell the fam. Tell the family what you said in the car. Because it was before the fart. I think the fart was immediate. But the second thing was a little scary. So go ahead. I want to have more body count to be cool.

Oh, my God. And you know what's so funny? Watch this is the best part about this right now. Fancy has no idea what body count means. What does body count mean? Do you know what it means, Fancy? I have no idea. Take a guess of what you mean by that.

I guess you have to count something with your body. Yes, Fancy. Thank you very much. I'm glad he made it. We got to fire him. You know, through the transition. We got to fire him. I thought he would leave that shit at the old studio.

Was the show going well? It was killing. And then rub-lock. Body count is how many people you've had sex with. So Rudy is talking about getting her body count up, because she wants to sleep around. She wants to be cool. Is that what you think is going to make people cool?

Yeah, Tito Bobby said that he has over 60. What did he say? He has over 60. His body counts over 60. And he said, I'm 50 years old. And he said, that's cool. And I said, I want to have 60. And he said, that's not cool.

Rudy, he's old. And he's come from a different time. Different era. A different era. And also his body counts were amazing. That was amazing. It was a free love, dude. I think this year is free love.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. So you just want to do it just to be cool. So she was basically saying. That's not going to make you cool. It's not. Tito Bobby is always saying, I'm uncool, because I don't know any music that's cool.

What does that have to do with catching dick? I don't know how to start my cool. Just because you don't know music, that doesn't mean you should. Just because you go fuck a bunch of people doesn't mean you're going to be cool. That's what Tito Bobby said. Why? Because I told you to listen to one Beatles album.

What the fuck is the problem? Who's the most uncool person in the studio on our team? Who is it? Who is it? Can I say Pete? You can. And by the way. No, Pete died.

He died. You know why? Body count too high. Too much. He had too much. And he got the H. I. Hizzle. And he left something for you guys before he died. He left us again before he died.

What do you leave us? We'll do it at the end. OK. I want to say this. There's so many diseases, too. There's new diseases. There's so many diseases. They weren't around when we were sleeping around.

There's diseases now. Alfalfa sprout? Alfalfa sprout. Have you heard of alfalfa sprout? Oh my god. It brings up. I'll tell you what happens. It happens to young males between 18 and also West Coast

guys. It has to do with the humidity or, I don't know, the dryness combination. One of the other. I don't know what it is. One of the other, yeah. But what it is is alfalfa sprout is basically he sticks your penis right in you, right?

And there's fungi. I guess the root is fungi. The base is fungi. The base is basically what you'll end up having is have a fungal ecosystem. Correct. That will sprout, right? And you'll have like mushrooms.

But you know what, shiitake? Big shiitake mushrooms. We love that. We'll eat that. We'll eat that. That's delicious. But they'll have little, little ones. Little tiny.

If you ever walk past a pond, still water. Yeah. And you know, there's like lily pads, but there's also little weird weeds. That can start growing out of your challenge. Yeah. And it burns. It burns.

Constantly. 24-7. Fire. So is this what you want? That's what you want? So alfalfa. Give me another disease that came out. One of the articles you wrote?

Oh, yeah. Tocochoco. Tocochoco! Tocochoco is insane. I don't believe that. What do you mean? You could look it up, Tocochoco. You never know.

Tocochoco. Tocochoco. It's a disease. We're not online, right? Oh, we're all fine. We're all fine. We're all fine. Tocochoco. Tocochoco.

Listen, this is insane. It's disgusting. If you've had too many bodies, if your body count is way too high, naturally, your chuchu starts producing its own cacao to make chocolate. Now, in your mind, you go, what do you mean? My puss is making chocolate. That sounds delicious.

No. This is sour, disease-ridden. What can I add? Killer chocolate. May I? So people go down there. A guy goes down there and he goes, ooh, chocolate. And then, yeah.

Guys, Tocochoco. Gone, right there. Also, dogs, forget it. Forget about it. Yeah, a dog can't go down there now. They'll die immediately. They don't eat any chocolate, right? They die.

But here's the thing. I'll tell you how that happens, though. Inside a female's vagina, and we're talking medical, we're not being gross here, right? There's only a number amount of vaginal juice. Correct. So every time a man goes inside you, there's only, it's like oil.

You're going to run out of oil. We're like petroleum, right? Your vagina juice is like petroleum. There's only a certain amount. That's right. So what happens is if your body count goes above, you run out of the vaginal juices, and you start using organic cow that your body automatically

produces. So your dogs, you have four dogs, right? Just by them being around you by proxy, they could die. Correct. So you want to kill your dogs because you want to fucking body count? No. What's that disease called again?

Toko choco. Toko choco, baby. Headspace. Hey, Andrew. Yeah? You ever feel like your mind doesn't have an off switch? Yeah, often. Or that tension is constantly traveling through your body?

Yeah. Or do you feel tired no matter how much you sleep, buddy? Yes. Andrew, that's just a few of the many ways stress, anxiety, and sleeplessness can harm your mind and your body. I know. And this year, why not make small changes to your daily routine that have a big influence

on your mental health and well-being? We've genuinely talked about mental health on this show. Yep. Very honestly, we do think everyone should take care of their mental health. And you can start the new year by trying headspace. We love headspace because it's a friendly reminder that anything that costs you your mental health

is too expensive and headspace is affordable. That's right. And that's the most key here. We all say fine when we don't really mean it. People say, how are you doing? You say, fine. Fine really is an emotion, is it? So how many times have you told yourself, I'm fine.

We're fine. It's fine when you really felt his anger or sadness or nerves. And headspace is scientifically proven to help you manage your feelings. And your mental health. Yeah, how are you feeling today, Andrew? I mean, really, how do you feel? Well, do you want me to tell you?

No, because I want to go through this copy. All right, smart. So go on, have a think. Take a minute. If you're feeling hyper or tired or annoyed or just meh, it's time to connect with your feelings by starting your own mental health journey with headspace. In fact, a recent study proved in just two weeks,

headspace can reduce your stress by up to 14%. Oh my god. Hey, so whenever I feel meh, I do love using headspace's appreciation course. You instantly feel happier about what matters in life, which is the relationships that I've cultivated, particularly the Bad Friends family and Bobby Lee specifically.

Thank you. No, honestly, dude, headspace is the greatest app. Trust me. Download it for free. Whether you want to release stress, anxiety, or sleep better, or improve your focus, headspace is your everyday dose of mindfulness for real life. Hey, Andrew, how are you feeling?

Try headspace at headspace.com slash Bad Friends and get one month free of their entire mindfulness library. This is the best headspace offer available. So go to headspace.com slash Bad Friends today. That's headspace.com slash Bad Friends. Stitch Fix. Let me tell you something, Andrew, or I'm all about fashion. I love shopping.

People go say to me all the time online, they go, well, you always buy a lot of clothes, but here's the thing with me. I know what I like, but I don't like shopping. What I would like to do is I like to let's tell somebody what I like and have them shop for me. It's literally what Stitch Fix is. And that's why I love Stitch Fix.

Incredible. That's exactly what they do. Whether you're looking for a brand you love or to try a new one, Stitch Fixed Freestyle, you can shop over 1,000 brands and styles personalized to your size and fit. With styles for workouts to work wear, for lounging around the house, or for a night out on the town, Stitch Fixed Freestyle has closed for any occasion.

Yeah, that's right, man. Plus, there's no subscription required, and they offer free shipping, returns, and exchanges. This is the best. They send you a bag, you get a bag full of stuff that they've curated based on your tastes and styles. You go through it, and if you like it, you keep it. If you don't, you stuff it in the bag,

and you send it right back. I filled one out three or four months ago. I got a package. I think my form was, because I wanted to do it, there will be blood kind of vibe. I've digged that. You know, I like kind of weathered down, like, you know, coal mining.

Right, coal mining, right? Yeah. And I think I returned out of the whole package, maybe one shirt, but the rest of them, I capped. You did. Love it. Yeah, well, get started today by filling out your style quiz at stitchfix.com slash badfriends.

That's stitchfix.com slash badfriends to try. Stitchfix anchor. If you haven't heard about anchor, it's the easiest way to make a podcast. It's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain. Oh, please. It's free.

Awesome. That's cool. There are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer. You do it from your phone, like, on the go. Oh, my god. Yeah, and on the bus or the subway, you can do it. That's cool.

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You can make money with no minimum listenership. It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Where do we have to go, Bob? Download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. It's freestyle, stitchfix.com slash badfriends. So look at it like this. Now after knowing all this insane stuff,

now do you still want a high body count? Can I have 20? No, I just don't. Can we pick them? Yeah, we get to pick them. If we can pick them. Can we pick the 20? What if you pick ugly?

It doesn't. First of all, can I say something about you? I told you this before. It's not about looks. Look at Kalilah. Is it about looks for her? Is it about looks? No.

Can I ask you a question? Can I ask you a real question? You are handsome, by the way. God bless you and take care. Can I ask you my phone anywhere? Please don't. You're my best friend. OK, so what?

All right. Can I ask you a serious question? Is Kalilah a beautiful woman? When she puts a makeup on? Honestly, I know you're related to her. She's your aunt. But try to step away from it. Is she beautiful?

She is. One of the prettiest, right? Yeah, so pretty. So you knew her before she met me, right? What would you imagine her dating? I can see it. Tall. Tall.

Long hair. Long hair. Yeah. Muscles. With abs. Abs. Sporty. Sporty.

Tall. She said tall. I'm saying it again. You can say it again. Right. Sporty. Right. And then what does she go to?

Small. Low. We say low. Low. Low. Fat. No. No.

Chubby. Chubby. No. No. Returned? Round. Round. Low.

Round. Low. Round. Low. Round. Sweet. Korean. Korean.

Very specific. Nothing. That's a nothing thing. He's got hair on his head. That's not what she says. No, people like Koreans. All right. Well, not always.

One of my point is that she didn't. She went ugly. No, she went against the norm. She went against the norm. Right. That's what we want for you. That's healthy. All right.

So that's what we're going to do for you. Fred Savage? Fred Savage. You know, I know him. Should I call him? Do you know Fred Savage? You know Fred Savage? Oddly.

He doesn't like me, so I let's not call him. Wait, why? Because what's up? He directed a TV show I did one time. That's why. It's probably the same TV show I auditioned for. What? What did you?

He was directing a TV show. I auditioned for the show. Yeah. And it was one of those auditions where I don't know what happened either. He said, stop. And you kept on. Or I said, I'm done.

But at one point, we didn't finish it. It was over. It was bad. Do you know who Fred Savage is? No. So aggressive the way she says it. Fred Savage was on a very, you know, they're remaking that show, by the way, The Wonder Years.

They brought it back. Do you not know this? It's an all-black version of Don Cheadle's. Don Cheadle's doing it. That's Fred Savage. He was on a show called Wonder Years. And it was, I mean, it was a massive classic. Back to Fred?

OK, back to Fred. So can I tell you a story about Fred that he won't like me to tell? It's not that big of a deal. Go ahead. But he was having a tough time directing the show, and we shot it in Vegas. What was the show called?

Please tell me. No, no, no. You didn't audition for this. It was called Sin City Saints. It was a basketball team in Vegas. Oh, yeah, it's probably not. So we had to do a scene on the Ferris Wheel in Vegas. You know that big, huge Ferris Wheel?

And we had to get all the crew loaded up onto there, and they can't stop it. They couldn't stop it. Please don't show. Oh, my god, that's the fucking show. Look at how terrible that is. But also, Baron Davis, that's where I met him before. Are you the coach?

Yeah, I was the coach. Oh, I have to see the show, man. You're the coach of a fucking. Is that Tom Papa? That's Tom Arnold. Well, that's Tom Arnold, isn't it? Tom Arnold. That's Malin Ackerman to my left.

That's Rick Fox to my left. Insane. OK. Anyway, look, we had to get on one of the Ferris Wheel, but they can't stop it. They legally were like, we can't stop it. And it goes slow enough, you just have to get on. So we're like, OK, we all have to get on.

The whole crew had to get on. And twice, twice we couldn't get the whole crew on. And little Fred Savage, boy, oh boy, did he blow up. Dude, snap. Lost it. Lost it. We get half the crew on, and the camera guys and the sound guys couldn't all get on.

And he was like, what's going on? Why can't? I mean, dude, freaking the fuck out. Little Fred Savage. And the whole time I'm thinking, oh my god, Wonder Years is freaking out. I couldn't get it on. I was like, Little Wonder Years was freaking out.

He fucking lost his mind. Meanwhile, I was supposed to have a love scene on there. And he was losing it. So we got on there. And then as we took the trip, we missed half the guys. So we had to just stand there quietly. And it's like 15 minutes to get all the way around. See, I had to just sit there while he was just.

Have you ever been yelled at on a set by another actor? Yeah, oh yeah. Yes, I have. I have. Who yelled at you? Jenna Fisher. On the ABC show? Yeah.

What'd you do? Because during her reverse one time, I was reading an article. So rude. I know. For people that don't know what he's saying, when the shooting over his shoulder onto her face, which he was saying was a reverse,

you're supposed to be paying attention to the other actor and giving them lines and helping them. Bobby was kind of doing what you're doing right now to me. You were reading a fucking article in the middle of a scene? I mean, we might have to move on. Because I didn't want this reaction. Crazy mean. Bad.

Bad. But you know what? What? I love it. Thank you. Good. Thank you. Good.

That's what I wanted, my best friend. What was my best friend there? If the article was good, you got to read it. It wasn't. It was bad. Let's talk about farts. I don't give a fuck. But still.

Yeah, yeah. So she goes, she goes, that's fucking rude, man. Like I did it for you. You're like, come on. And I go, you're right. You're a bigger star. I'm being rude. You were.

But you know what? When that happened, it's still kind of fun. It's very fun. Because it's weird. Like people, you know what I mean? The people at the art department are kind of being quiet. Did you feel like a little boy when she yelled at you? Like, did you feel kind of demeaned?

I felt like a little powerless boy. And I also remember going, I also remember going thinking to myself, oh, I remember like 12 years ago, you said you would kill a family member just to be in a scene with Jenna Fisher. And now look at you. And now I'm on a show with her. And I'm being like a fucking dick.

So I don't know why I said that story, man. I feel fucking bad about it. I'm sorry. It's OK. It's OK. Sorry. Have you done anything? Who yelled at you?

I want to hear what you've done. Me, Al Madrigal, and Griff Griff got yelled at by Melissa Leo when we did I'm Dying Up Here. I mean, lit us up. Like what? For talking in the middle of us. We were talking when the scene was done. Or I want to be OK.

Can I be you? And then I want to see what she said. Sure. OK. I don't know what her lines are, but. No, no, no, no. I'm no, I'm you. We're off camera and we're chatting.

Yeah. Hey, man, Griff. Good set last night, man. He said, really? You like my set? Yeah, I like your set, man. I'm kidding. I don't watch your set.

Oh, yeah, I don't watch my set. I'm prayer. Oh, well. Hey, let's get some tacos. Hey, man, it's not lunch, man. We just got here to 8 o'clock all time. I want tacos. We don't have tacos, man.

Oh, craft service, craft service. Go to craft service. Go to craft service. And I'm like, hey, hey, Andrew. You wonder if I could rub my fingers against these roll-ups? You know what I like to do? Everyone like to come here and touch all the little foods. On the craft service.

And I don't let anybody get clean food here. Anyway, well, our TV show is great, man. So anyway, are you going to interrupt me? She hasn't come in yet. She hasn't come in yet. She didn't come in yet. What are you going to interrupt? So much more happened before she interrupted.

It was like another hour. He's going to be so mad at you right now. Yeah. Are you still going to be happy? Anyway, baby, so let's just now interrupt. I'll keep going, but you interrupt. OK. So anyway, what is that woman, the woman that's

on the show that's supposed to interrupt us? Baby, what's up? Tacos! Tacos! She still hasn't come in yet. I know, but honestly, if she doesn't come in in like five seconds, if she doesn't come in five seconds, we're done with the video.

All right, go ahead. I will. All right, let's do it. I'm going to do some electrolytes. Drink some electrolytes. OK. So anyway, Andrew, you think I got sick or so? You know, because Bobby picks on me all the time about it.

She jokes around. You feel sick or so, but I've been having some pains on myself. I've been having some sick or sickly pains on my side. Fucking interrupt me, motherfucker. I don't think she comes in. Motherfucker, baby. Excuse me. Yeah?

We're still in the scene. What's so important? What's so important? Outside. If you need to talk, go outside. Is there anything you'd like to say? Go outside. That's what she said?

Oh, in that frame, that was what it was. And me? That doesn't seem that bad. Oh, dude, she lit us up. It was so unnecessary. We were way off camera. We were nowhere near the scene. And then what did you guys say to yourselves?

Oh, we look like little children. I mean, the moment that she was like, excuse me, all of us were like, little children. Grown up, Al Madrigal. You know, we're all Mr. T's, Mr. Tough Guy. The moment she came over and did that whole thing, all of us like little bitches were like, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.

Like kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, she embarrassed. It was embarrassing. Kim Coutrelle did that to me. It's embarrassing. Kim Coutrelle did. I've had a lot of.

Are you going to go back to sex in the city? Is it, it's not, it's not done. Is it done? I don't know what's going on. It came out. I haven't seen single one, not one. My buddy told me he saw you last night and he actually enjoyed your stuff on it.

He said you did good. Thank you. But, but wait, I thought it's back. Isn't it going, aren't you going back this year? No, they said, if they, I don't, they don't have a pickup for the second season. I don't know what's going on, but I don't know what I would do.

I don't make decisions because the most, I'll tell you, I'll be honest with you. It's 2022. I'm doing a lot of reflection. Okay. And the reflection is this. Number one, when I turned 50, I got really depressed and I'm going through something right now.

I'm going through a depression or whatever. So, um, so I've been doing a lot of, um, internal. Like what, what, what, what, what do I want to do? What direction would I want to take? You know. What are we, let's talk about. And I, and I, I realized number one, the most important thing for me right now

is TB and be bad friends. Those are my two number one, my creative outlets that I want to do. Yeah. Yeah. These are things that are what I want to do for the next couple of years. Number one, that's my number one thing.

Number two, I want to get back, get an hour back together. So in 2023, I can really tour hard. And I want to, because Bob died, I just want to be a better guy. You know, I think that if you, if, if you look at why people reacted the way they did to Bob dying,

it's basically he's down deep down inside just a really nice guy and, and a mensch. And he's, he was real. He was a really nice, just a guy that everyone loved. And I'm like, that's something to aspire to, man. Don't you think you're that now? People like you. I think I could be better.

I think that I can like, if I poo in my underwear, throw it in the fucking green room. You know. You did that all the time. I know. But, but second to go to a dwarf and go, what do I do? No, that's true. He doesn't.

So that's what I'm saying. It's like, I take it to the next level. I take it mythological. You, yeah. I take it like, I take it like, you know, very like Narnia, I Narnia. Like if I poo, whatever, right? I have a poo situation, right?

Poo stitch. I could call you. But instead I go, Willow. You know, and it's like, why do I go Willow? Cause you know, I, And that's why I want to be a better person. Okay. You don't know Willow, Willow is,

but it was a very funny reference. Very funny reference. What is this? This isn't. So this is a story that I, it's very old, but it popped up on my feet again the other day and it made me laugh. This woman.

Ellen and Kerrigan. This. Is that Eleanor? My eyes are bad. This woman woke up with a Chinese accent. She literally is British and she woke up with a Chinese accent. I'm serious.

Sarah Colwell from Plymouth in England is a dead set Pong who now sounds like she's from Shanghai. It wasn't until I was in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, she actually said, you are aware of the way you speak. And that's how I saw my accent.

She has a better Asian accent than I do. By far. All right, stop this video. Wait, wait, I want to see what she just said. I want to see if I can do it. Hold on, just do her. Just get rid of, because that's too many women. Just you two.

Woman wakes up with Chinese accent. Just her. Are you aware of the way you are speaking? Are you aware of the way you are speaking? Can you do it? Are you aware of your speaking? Can I do it? Go!

Am I the best? I don't think you can. Are you aware of how? Oh my God, he's so good. How you're speaking. You're so good at it. Speaking girl. How are you, Juliana?

No, no, no, no, no, no. Dang it, try, try. I'm so bad. Try. OK. This is so weird to ask an Asian to do an Asian accent. I know, she can't do one, but go ahead. I can't.

Are you aware? All right, you do it, then I'll copy it. Hello. Wait. Hello. How are you? How are you? Hey, you're good.

Oh. Good. Are you aware that you are speaking? Are you aware that you are speaking? Nothing's better than watching Asians do an Asian accent. That was pretty fucking good. That was pretty good. That was pretty good.

Just do your dad. When you do your dad, that's an Asian accent. Do your dad. Do my dad now, right? I'll do it, right? Are you? Wait, stop there, stop there. Wait, wait, let me.

Oh, edit that. Bobby, Bobby, are you aware? Bobby, are you aware? Pretty good. That you are. There you are. Speaking move. Speaking.

See, fucking great. Really good. You do it now. Bobby, Bobby. Dad? I miss you. I'm back from the dead. Daddy, why are you dying?

I came back for you. Daddy, why are you dying? I miss you so much. Anyway, very good. Thank you. Let me ask you something. Is there a village? Let me ask you something.

Is there a village in China? With just a lot of these people? No, we're a Chinese person. Wakes up and goes, hello, how are you? With a British accent? Oh my god. Can you imagine that happens? This is the Bad Friends movie.

I wake up one day and I have a Korean accent. You wake up and you have an Irish accent. I can't do an Irish accent. Can you be something else? Try it. Give me a line again. We tried. I know.

I can't do it. How about this? We'll do it. Write the script. But I will go take a class or something. We tried Irish. You can do Irish, remember? I don't think I can.

Remember Conor McGregor? Conor McGregor. Perfect. Conor McGregor. Perfect. Say, say, Conor McGregor? Conor McGregor? I got I need to go to the shop.

I need to go to the shop. Perfect. Conor McGregor. Cono McGregor. Just say that. I need to go to the shop. Any time someone asks you something just to respond. Just respond with Conor McGregor.

Yeah. Conor McGregor. Conor McGregor. Cono McGregor. So when I ask you something in the movie and I wake up. Conor McGregor. Conor McGregor. Perfect.

That's the movie because I wake up with a Korean accent, he wakes up with an Irish accent. Maybe. Babble! We like a lot of accents and languages on this show. You know, but the thing is, is that they're surface. Yeah. And you and I can go deeper.

We can go way deeper. And I think the thing is, you and I have the same, and honestly, our fans are smart people. Yeah, they are. They get it. Yeah. And our fans would really take advantage of Babble. I'm telling you guys right now,

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There are so many ways to learn Babble. In addition to lessons, you can access podcasts, games, videos, stories, and even live classes, Andrew. Wow. Plus, it comes with a 20-day money-back guarantee. Come on, start your new language learning journey today with Babble. Right now, save up to 65% of your subscription

when you go to babble.com slash bad friends. That's babble.com slash bad friends. Up to 65% of your subscription, Babble. Language for life. Obstacles. What would you do if you didn't have high-interest loans or credit card debt, Andrew? I'd be free from the gripping debt.

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Yes, man. If you're dread looking at your credit card statements like I do, I dread it, dude. All the time. You're not alone, Andrew. And here's the other thing, Bob. We both have credit card debt. I've had a lot over the years, and everyone deals with this.

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Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit income and certain other information provided in your loan application. Upstart.com slash badfriends. Or can we do, how about this? Can we do like a Freaky Friday? Like a Freaky Friday where I'm Andrew. And you and me.

So good. You wake up. I wake up next to your wife. You wake up next to Kalilah. Done. Done, right? Good swap. She's an actress, so we'll hire somebody.

She can cast it, but yeah, that's fine. Maybe we'll get someone, Olivia Munn, maybe. Olivia Munn is going to be your wife. No, no. Olivia Munn is more Kalilah, because she has an agent. Oh, yes. Olivia Munn would be mine. She's Kalilah.

And who are you playing? I mean, who's your wife? Mine will be the character. Since I'm the one that has to do the scenes with her, can I cast it? You're going to cast my wife. Yeah, yeah. All right, so who do you wake up with then?

If I wake up with your wife. Gal Gadot. Gal Gadot? Yeah. No, I don't like that. Yes, Gal Gadot. I don't get Olivia Munn for you get Gal Gadot. That's not fair.

What? That's beautiful. I'm not saying she's not. I'm just saying Gal Gadot is foreign. We're going to fuck her up, though. I want foreign. If you get foreign, I get foreign. Whether you get to choose, I'm the one that chose her. I get Gal Gadot.

You choose. OK, so if I get Olivia Munn, no, no, I'm sorry. If you get Gal Gadot, then your wife has to be. But Gal Gadot is your wife, you fuckface. I know, but you get to sleep with her in this movie. That's true. Go ahead. That's true.

So then my wife that you get in this movie, no, your wife that I get in this movie would be. Penelope Cruz. Penelope Cruz. Thank you, fancy. Penelope Cruz? Yeah, that's good. Penelope Cruz.

Penelope Cruz. OK, so. But I insist, right, that you dye your hair black, throw it out. Then you have to dye your hair orange. We're going to do, we're going to put a little green. I'm going to do little green strips, right, around your eyes. OK. Little green here.

We'll fix it in post. OK. Right? We'll CGI it in post. You mean to pull my eyes down? We have to. What do you mean? They can just use, they use tape now.

Have you ever seen it? I want to CGI it. It's not good enough for me. Oh, OK. It's got to be a slit. I imagine a slit. With me? I'm in.

Black and long black hair. In. In, dude. And I'm going to have the red hair. White translucent. Pastey shitty skin. Pastey skin. Shitty, pasty skin.

Yeah. Just pasty red. Disgusting. Shitty red. Splotchy skin. Splotchy. And a big red nose. Yeah.

And I propose a 30 minute love scene. Because I tell you why. I know you do 30 minute sessions. Just about. I've heard it. I've heard it from the rumor mill, man. Wait a minute. How long do your sessions go?

Three. Minutes? Seconds. What? Yeah. Three pumps, dude. However long three pumps is. But can I say something?

You know what, by the way? They're long pumps? And no talking about sex anymore. They're long pumps. Because old body count over here is getting ideas. Sorry. My bad. My bad body count.

Are you dating right now? No. Are you on dating apps? Yes, she is. Yeah. Rude. What do you want? Nothing.

Okay. What? Bumble. Aren't you on? She's on Bumble. You on Bumble? I'm on Bumble. What do you want?

Nothing. I just want to talk to them. What? But what app are you on? Oh my God. That's a good swap. That's great. What is?

Hinge. Hinge. Hinge. No. Can we do this? I love doing this. Let me read one. I love going on to somebody's dating app.

Let's answer. And saying yes to things. Please. Like seeing guys and going yes, no. I like swiping. Can we do that? Let's talk about your toes. Why pink?

What's up, man? Well, why pink? Why not? I'm not judging. I'm saying why was the pink of the choice? Because I just... It was the brightest color. Who painted him?

The lady. The Vietnamese lady down the street. Okay. So when you go in to get your nails done, what do they... Do they say... Are they surprised that you're going to get your nails done? Your feet painted? The lady...

I had to go to this one specific lady because she knows about my thing. Right. And she uses a gigantic metal thing like this. To shave your feet down? Yeah, but she does... She takes... Brings this from a storage closet somewhere. So she walk in, they all look at you, bang, bang, bang, right?

So she has to run to go get the... Now is her name bang, bang? Yeah, I think so. Oh. Bang, bang, bang, right? She goes, oh, hatchet for coming. Yeah. Hatchet, hatchet.

Right, right. They start yelling hatchet. They brings the thing, right? And five people, they start scraping. To shot off. Dude, I'm telling you right now, dude. My left foot, this much of skin. Right?

And you... What's great about that? Yeah. Can I tell you what you do with the skin? May I? May I? Bobby. You put it in a bowl.

Just hear me out, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You dry it out outside. Just hear me out, right? And it'll get to the point where you touch it, it'll still... It'll crisp automatically, right? It'll almost like instantaneous, like a tortilla chip. What you do is you take a piece of chicken, right?

Chicken, yeah. And you take... And you put your favorite spices. Yeah. What do you like? Are you a barbecue? Yeah. You're a barbecue?

Yeah. Put some cumin in there. Yeah. Cumin and barbecue? How about cayenne peppers? Love. Love it, right? That's what they'll do for you.

Habanero. So what I do is I take the chicken, right? I put it in a bowl, right? And I take the spices and I marinate, I rub it and rub the spices into the chicken. Sounds good to me. Just the chicken, though. I haven't done yet. Yeah.

Right? Then what I do is, right? I take the chicken and I put... I take egg. Egg. You know what I mean? Yeah. Right?

Right. As an adhesive. Yes, I understand. I take the chicken, put it in the egg, right? Then you take and you use it as a crust. Mm-mm. The feet. You take that, you put the feet crust.

As a breading? As a breading. Mm. Mm. Put... Foot-crusted chicken? Bread. As a breading, dude.

That's so gross. How much would it cost you? To eat your foot-crusted chicken? Yeah, because it does pile up like that. I haven't done the other stuff, but it's like, what would that... What would that take? Would you ever eat his foot-crusted chicken? I think if you fry it, you won't be able to bake it.

No, this is baked. This is baked. Not baked. But what did we just get? Air fryer. You did? What did we do last night? We fried chickens.

Now, what kind of breading was it? Was it foot-breading? No, plank... What's it called? Panko. Panko. Panko crust, yeah. We used panko.

Delicious. It looks just like my foot crust though. Do you think you could sneak it in there and they wouldn't know the difference? I swear to God, I could. Do it. I want you to do it and see if you could tell. I won't trust him. How about this?

If I 50-50 it. Oh, half and half. If I 50-50 it, right. Would you know that, you think? And planka. What is it? What's up? Panko.

Panko. But planka too. Panko, planka. Panko, planka, and foot crust. Would you try it? Yeah. I want you to try it. No way.

The air fryer, fire, it's so good. I know I want one so bad. I've seen them all over the place. They're so... Will you buy me something for my birthday? Can I ask for something? Yeah, what is it? Will you buy me a Blackstone flat top, like an outdoor hibachi grill, you know the flat

top? Fuck yeah, man. Where do you get those? Outside. Oh, on the internet, but they're thousands of dollars, I think. How much are they? The Blackstone flat top. How about this?

As a team, as a team, we'll talk about when his birthday comes out and then we'll talk about it. See, but okay, they're only a couple hundred dollars for that, but I want like the build out. Like they do like a build out one. It's really nice. And they like build it into like a thing, not, yeah, see, that's fine. I want the one that's like built, I want it built onto my patio.

Yeah, but then what do we do? Then you can come over and I can cook everything on the Blackstone. Dude, I can literally cook eggs and cheeseburgers at the same time. Flat tops are the best. Yeah. Like hibachi. You've been to a hibachi restaurant, right? Yeah.

We went in fucking, we went in Mexico. Remember like... What's it called? Garbage, you mean? What do you mean? I love hibachi grill. They flip the shrimp at you. The food that we went to Mexico?

I know I'm saying the experience is fun. It wasn't a good experience. No, the hibachi. Oh, you didn't do the hibachi with us. I didn't do the plas. No, you didn't. We did that. That's the problem.

Don't you, what's it called? Why can't I think of it? What's the one that Steve Aoki's dad owns? Benihana. Yeah, remember that? Love it. That's great. I went to Benihana with Amir and Sarah the other day.

It's still open? Yeah. I thought they closed that down. No, we went to the Orange County one in fucking, in fucking Orange County. Because you were doing Irvine. Yeah, Irvine. They have L.A. River Shrimp. Shut the fuck up.

We didn't eat it. Shrimp from the river. Bro, it was like L.A. River Shrimp where me, Sarah and Amir on our plate, we didn't touch it. Ask them. It was ghetto, dude. At the Benihana. Yeah, we were like throwing at each other.

We were using it as like weapons. L.A. River Shrimp? It was terrible. Buffy! It was the greatest thing you ever done for me. Did the show with you? The second greatest thing you've ever done for me. Given you a Buffy.

No. Hmm? No. What is it? You kissed me on the lips once. I did kiss you on the mouth once. Yeah, number three. Yeah, Buffy.

Buffy. That's right. And Buffy makes bedding. That is super comfy and super sustainable. Everybody's had sleepless nights. You know what we're talking about. The bedding industry, all right, has had an impact on the environment. So they decided to change it.

Their products are made using only renewable and recycled materials, which makes them soft on the planet as they are on your bed and your body. This morning, I went, I made myself a burrito. You love burritos. What I take is I take a Buffy Comforter, right, and I go to the edge of it, and I go, Burrito, and I wrap myself in it, and now I'm a tube of comfort. Of comfort. A little Korean kimchi burrito.

Kimchi, maybe not. There's no kimchi in there? No. You don't have kimchi in your bed right now. In the jar, but not like just thrown around. I know, but it's right next to your bed. My point. That comfort is covered in ultra breathable eucalyptus fabric.

It's softer than cotton and naturally soothes the skin. It's sustainable. Eucalyptus, as you know, we've talked about it uses 10 times less water than cotton to grow its fiber and it's produced using recyclable earth-friendly solvents. It's machine washable, Andrew. You better believe it. The inside fill of each comfort is made from 100% recycled water bottles that are transformed and given a second life like a super fluffy fiber.

It feels even softer, Andrew, than down while keeping approximately 50 bottles out of land and fields and oceans, man. That sounds incredible, man. You could try a comforter in your own bed for free and if you don't love it, you can return it at no cost, but you will love it, right? Because Bobby loved it. For $20 off your Buffy Comforter, visit buffy.co and enter Bad Friends. That's right.

$20 off your Buffy Comforter, visit buffy.co and enter the code Bad Friends. Anyway. By the way. Did you see old? No, but you know what I did see? Don't look up or don't look up. Loved it. Yeah, it was good.

I loved it. No, I did like it. But can I be honest? Leonardo DiCaprio is the best actor of our generation, I'll say it. Done. Go ahead, fancy. Argue with me. You fucking film student.

It's pretty good. I think DiCaprio. No, him. I didn't say the movie. I'm saying he's the best actor of my generation. He's great. Since I've been alive on earth, name someone that's made more hits. More bangers.

Huh? What's he eating? Gilford Grape. Basketball Diaries. Tommy Cruise. Titanic. Well, Tommy Cruise. Catch me if you can.

Yeah. Tommy Cruise does Mission Impossible. Great. But what else? Okay. What else? Fancy. What else has Tommy Cruise done?

Top Gun. The Mummy. Top Gun. A remake of an original that he did before. It's going to be the number one movie ever. I know. It's going to be great. I'm saying you're not giving me an array of different kinds of acting.

Magnolia. All right, fine. Fuck. Heath Ledger. Born of the Fourth of July. Heath Ledger. Heath Ledger's dead. They died.

He died. What else did you say about? What else did Tommy Cruise do? Magnolia. Oh, come on. Yeah, dude. That's right. Born on the Fourth of July.

So the movie that I want to watch. You think all these are better than all the ones that I just named? Tropic Thunder. Tropic Thunder was not. He was so good at that. First of all, Robert Downey Jr. was the best character on that whole movie. How do you like it canceled? For doing Blackface?

But not just Blackface. The whole movie. Because the joke was about doing the joke. I know. It's great. But that's why I loved. Did you see? Ben Stiller was better, by the way.

Do you see Licorice Pizza? No. I want to go. I want to show you a scene. That's worse. Then Blackface? It's funny. So they have a scene in it.

It's just like the thing that you showed me. Okay. So I forgot his name, but he's in Best in Show. You see Best in Show? Yeah. Eugene Levy? No. He plays Michael Keaton's husband in it.

Boyfriend. Oh. Oh. The two gay guys. Michael McKee. John Michael Higgins. John Michael Higgins is so fucking funny. In the movie, he plays a Japanese restaurant owner, a white guy, but he's partnered with

his wife, who has an Asian accent. She's Japanese. She's Japanese, right? Yeah. So when he's talking to other people, he has a regular English accent. He's American. Mm-hmm. But when he talks to his wife, he talks to her in a thick Asian accent.

Maybe she loves that. I know. But in the movie, it's so big. And I saw that with me, my brother, and Gene Hung were all Asians, right? And when we saw that, we go, oh my God, it's that guy. And then when he did that, us three, we fell on the ground, holding our sides, laughing, and we don't know why. It's that bad.

The accent's that thick. It's that funny. That's so good. It's such a cool choice. Small choice. Yeah, it's a perfect choice. And it's a choice that you would never make in this climate. But they did.

But they made a choice, and that's why I love them. The movie's really good, huh? It's got some. It's great. And I think that Philip Seymour, I think Philip Seymour Hoffman's son kills it. Oh, what's his name? His name is Cooper Hoffman. His first movie.

His first movie he's ever done? His son. Yeah. Look at them. Watch a basketball game together, baseball game together. To him. That's me. That's his son.

That's actually me. Yeah. That's you. And Cooper is the star of the movie. And he's dope. And look at Magnolia. Philip Seymour Hoffman is one of the greatest actors of all time, was in the movie, Magnolia. He died.

He worked with Paul Thomas Anderson. Paul Thomas Anderson does licorice pizza and uses his son as the lead. That's so cool. It's amazing. And his son's a great actor, huh? Great. And that girl from Hame, she's great. It's a great movie.

I loved it. They're Jewish, you know. Who is? The Hame. They're all Jewish. They all got the Jew, babe. They got it. And you know what?

When I look at it, I go, I want it. To be Jewish? Don't you want to be, like, hipster Jew? No. I do. I don't look Jewish. No, but don't you want to be? No, I'm fine with me.

I want to do the curl. That's not... Hipsters don't do the fucking curl. But I would do it. I would do orthodox combo hip. Orthodox hip? Yeah. Type in orthodox chic.

See if there's an orthodox chic look that's going around right now. Orthodox Jewish chic. Look at that. Oh my God. Oh, hip Jews. Dude. Welcome back to hip Jews. Yeah.

Hip Jews. Hip Jews. It has to be sung by a German guy for some reason. If you can be anything, Rudy, what would you be? If you could be any other race or nationality, what would you be? I want to be... Are you really happy with what you are? Japanese.

You want to be Japanese? Why? Like, right behind you. Look at that. That's what she wants to be so bad. She wants to be that. That little Japanese girl with huge eyes. Yeah.

And a nose that doesn't exist. But can I say something? And a little bloody knife. The only difference... I'm going to be so mean right now. Please. Do you want me to be? Yeah.

Or do you want me to be healthy? Well, we'll do healthy later. Okay. The only difference is the poo, poo, the poo, the poo, the poo, the poo, the poo, the poo color skin. Do you really think it's poo? No. It's beautiful.

Bring up a picture of poo. It's a beautiful color. Bring up a picture of poo. Just do poo. Do human feces. Yeah. Human feces. I don't think you're right, Bob.

But let's just see just the images. I'm so mean. I love you, Jules. I love you so much. You're like my daughter to me. All right. Bring up that first picture. You're like my daughter to me.

Bring up that first photo. That color looks like Tito Bobby. Not me. Wait. Make that as big as you can. Why'd that up? All right. Jules, get up there and put your arm against it.

Yeah. Put your arm against it. Please put your arm against it. Oh, it's the Wikipedia one. All right. There you go. Why is it fancy? All right.

Let's just see if that's close. Oh, it's not. Oh, my God. That's like the same color. Oh, my God. That under my skin is so the same color. That's the exact same color. That's the same.

Jules, where are you? Jules, put your arm back up there. Wait. Put Jules. Just go in front of the, Jules, go in front of that. Where are you? Oh, my God. You're gone.

She's gone. She camouflaged. Where did you go? Oh, my God. You know what it reminds me of? When Rambo, remember Rambo, when he came out of the, when he was hidden on the cliff at mud? Couldn't see him.

His eyes opened up. You think that looks, I think all of us have poo-colored skin. It's some kind of bear, like go back to the main page. I guarantee you, Bobby has, there's poop that exists. Let me see my, I don't like it. All right. Let's see. No, it's too white.

It's, yeah. You're not dark enough. You're not dark enough. That's why I love this stuff. You can see me, can't you? I still see you now. Thank you. Thank you.

Go back to the main page of human feces. I bet you there's a piece of poop that looks just like you. Oh, look at the second one. The second one looks kind of Bobby. All right. Let's go. That's kind of, just pinch and squeeze. Oh my God.

I'm not going to lie. That looks a lot like, that looks the same. That's the same. That's the same. I can't see you. Where are you? Bobby? There you are.

See if there's orange poop to see if there's one for me. Or bloody poop. Am I bloody poop? Yeah, you're bloody poo. Light bloody poo. I think there's a lot of orange poop right there. There's one out on that page right now. There it is.

The worst guy. Go here. Go here. Go here. Which one? That one? All right. Let's see.

Andrew. Oh. Oh my. Andrew. Andrew. Yeah. It looks like it. Yeah.

You're part of it. All right. Yeah, you're the edge of it. And bloody poo. You're bloody poo, dude. Anywho. So you'd be Japanese if you could be any race or nationality. What would you be?

What would you be? You know, I've thought about like seriously where I could, I think I could have been born in Canada by a lake, by white people, that have something to do with forestry. Like you mean like National Park Preserver people? Like the. What's that vibe? The hippies, hippies. Yeah.

I want to be like if I see a tree fall, it sheds a tear. You shed a tear. Yeah. Like every time I'm driving I see a tree that's fallen. I shed a tear and I go, in fact I get out of the car. You get out of the car? Yeah. I want to be one of those guys.

I get out of the car, I go to the side of the tree. I go to the street and I just tear it and just I put my hand on it. God bless you, tree. God bless you. And I just kind of, there's still some life energy. So you're saying you'd want to be white. Yeah. Yeah.

Just white person. What is this? I don't want to be white. What do you think I want to be? If I could be any racer. Black. Black. Okay.

Both of you. Black. Why do you say black so fast? You're so good at the accent. I'm good at the black accent. At the black accent. You're good with a lot of accents. But I'm good with a lot of accents.

I would like to be black. I want to tell people there was a Magnum P.I. I would love to be black. There was a Magnum P.I. episode that they wrote apart for Andrew. Yeah. Okay. It came out. What?

What? First of all, this is not all the way true. Yeah. This is what happened. They didn't write apart for me. Yes, they did. No. It never got to me.

It did go to you. No, it never did. Oh my God. It did. I swear to God they did. Because the executive producer is my friend. My agent never gave me the role. I know.

I've never gotten. Your agent goes. They ask, can we get some tape on Andrew? Just anything. Because we know he's on day. We know he's an actor. He's been in a million things. Right.

And your friends, your agent sent him like a clip from black jack, not jackass. Hmm. That was maybe him saying, fuck you. I think that's what that was. Right. But there was a part, but it came out and it would have been great. But there's some violence between us. Can I see it?

Later, man. You would have been good, but. I didn't ever get the other guy was great. I didn't get offered the role. His name is Leif. He was great. He was better than you. Anyway.

Leif? Yeah. His real name? Yeah. Really good, man. LEIF or LEAF? I don't know, man. Well, I should know how to spell a guy's name that you work with.

I never got the role, but also don't ask for tape. Get the fuck out of here. You're difficult. No. Get the fuck out of here. You're difficult. You know what? When I went.

Hello. Tape. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. Tape. Tape? That's true. We talk about practice?

Fuck out of here. I know. That's insane. What the fuck do you mean? Tape. I'll take a phone call. I think I didn't say any of this, but that's my agent being like, that's insane. He's right.

That is fucking insane. What do you mean? What do you mean? Did you have to put in tape for Magnum PI? No. That's true. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here.

Okay. Anyway. No, stop. What a great show. Don't be mean. I love it. But I wish I would have done the show because I would have liked to go to Hawaii with you.

But next season? I'll do it. I would love to do it next season. Don't ask for fucking tape. No tape. That's insane. I don't realize it. Can I go back to something real fast just so we kind of can round this out real fast

genuinely? Go ahead. I'm dead serious. The body count thing? No. You better not be thinking that this is like, we're all having fun and then you're going to go out there and you're going to go do it and go nuts. Not only that, it's like-

I'm serious too. I'm serious too. Here's the worst nightmare. Tito. Tito Bobby. Tito Andrew. I'm not going to be pregnant. Yeah.

Oh my fucking god. And they were like, what the fuck do you want from us? Well, you do live on a hill. That's true. Or roll. I'm going to push. I'm going to roll. Nudge.

Yeah, yeah. What's the gift that Pete gave us? What did he give us? All right. Oh, first of all- Is Pete no longer with us? I'll be honest. All right, Pete.

He died. He died. But he left something behind. Oh, god. You fucking, you made, all you did was shit on Pete. Hey. Also, but look at this. We want to shout this out real fast.

This is a piece of our new art for bad friends, Rudy's revenge that I think is fucking incredible that we got. What's the gentleman's name? He had a card for Rudy. There's a card for Rudy in everything. Oh, my god. Rudy, will you read what the card says? To Rudy and the bad friends family.

That's us. It's a lot. It's a lot of words. Show the camera how many words. No, I wanted to read it in the accent. What's his accent? No. Boston.

Oh, yeah, Boston. I don't know what's in Boston. I think he's from Boston. He's going to give you a template. Yeah. And you're going to base it. And you're going to commit to it. And you're going to do it.

And we're going to close out the show and get it to go home. Look at how many- Look at how long that fucking notice. Yeah. Just do it as best as you can. His name is Colin Beck. We'll give her an example of a Boston accent. Boston.

Colin Beck talks like this, bro. So, hey, I'm Colin Beck, dude. Bad friends for life, buddy. I'm back with this. Go ahead. Can you do it again? No. Go ahead.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Ready? Kennedy? What the fuck? No, she's a ready. Rudy.

Oh, Rudy. Oh, fuck. That sounds like Kennedy. Yeah, dude. Canada. Yeah. Yeah, the best. Dude, what the fuck is this?

This sounds like JFK. JFK. Navajay. You're killing it. You're doing great. How you enjoy the fan art. Yeah. That's it.

For Rudy. What does it say for the rest of us? Andrew and Bobby. Love you both. Love the show. Oh, it's hilarious. It's very California now. Oh, I'd just say it again.

Just do surfer stuff now. Yeah. What's that, dude? Fuck yeah, man. Fuck. But your boss needs to change it, too. You got a little sheep thing. Bah, bah, bah.

About anime, I realized it's Wonders. Wonders? I don't know. Wonders. Wonders. So in the house, so you'll give it a real chance. I have gifted you an ish, a movie to watch. Rudy, Roddy, you already know what's up.

So yours is just a bonus gift. Now she has a speech impediment. I don't know. You killed it. Great job. Wait, what's the movies that you got? I want a movie. The girl who leaps through time.

I want this. Cool. Guess we don't get to choose. Then there's a host of the show we don't get to choose. Yours is Red Line. Oh, just throw it. Just throw it. Great movie.

Give me one. Yours is Mine Game to Bobby. Oh, that looks cool. Thank you, Colin Beck. Thanks, dude. Appreciate you. Now that we're on GIFs, what did Pete give us? He actually wrote you guys a song.

Happy 100th, dude. Yeah. Happy 100th episode. How do you do it? Twist the bottom. Don't point it at my fucking face. You twist the bottom. It was that one.

Yeah, he twisted the wrong way. Give me another one. No. Rudy, you have one. Is it this way? Twist yours. No, don't point it at your fucking face. Is it?

No, no, no, no, no. No, it's not. Is it this way? Yeah. No, no. This way. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Happy 100th. Happy 100th episode. Let's see what Pete says. What do you got to say, Pete?

Hold on one second. Let's get this streamer down. Hold on. All right, Pete. What do you got to say? I should listen to it. All right, start it over. So wait, is Pete's not dead?

We just want to tell the fans. He has COVID? Yep. He has COVID. Oh, my God. All right, let's see. Hey, Bobby and Andrew, I wrote you this song. Guys, it's 0 to 100 episodes and I hope you learn that I'm proud to be part of the

bad friends family. Even though I've got a real family that I created with friends. You've made it to 100. Yeah, you did it right. You didn't give up at the end like Betty White. She was really old and she lived a long life before she stepped into the life. And I hope that friends have the longevity of Betty White and love like Betty White even in the afterlife.

Because bad friends is the continuing stroke of genius that gets us through life unlike the stroke of Betty White. Leave us behind like we're Betty White. No way I'm here to spend 100 with you in 2022 unlike you know. Thank you, Pete. We love you, man. Love you, Pete. We love you, Pete.

Great job. Miss them. Well, hey, man, just like the old school days. Are you all right? I got electrocuted. There's no electrical charge in there. Dude, I touched this, my finger in there and I got electrocuted. Do it again.

See if it doesn't hurt. No, I'm not going to do it again. It hurts so bad. Do it again. There's no way it's real. Do it. Stick your finger in there. Give it to me.

No, you stick your finger in there. I don't want you to hold it. All right. That's insane. Nothing? No. I'm kidding. One, two, three.

Thank you for being a bad friend. So fun. So fun. Thank you for being a bad friend.