Bad Friends - An Egg Roll Goes to the Spa & Stealing Danny DeVito's Seat

Episode Date: January 31, 2022

New Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors:  http://shipstation.com code: BADFRIENDS & https://betterhelp.com/badfriends &  https://www.doordash.com code: BADFRIENDS2022 & https://www.getroman.com/badfriends More Steebee WeeBee  Scissor Bros: https://www.youtube.com/c/ScissorBros The Steebee WeeBee Show: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/the-steebee-weebee-show-636260 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/quangou Twitter: https://twitter.com/weebeesteebee More Shapel Lacey  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shapellacey Shapel's World: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFJJf9ILvYopvr1nmE3p0NA Website: https://www.shapellacey.com 0:00 Introducing Shapel Lacey  1:18 Wormtongue & The Dark Crystal  6:57 Bobby's Karate Moves at the Korean Spa  18:27 Heavy Love and Cheerleading  23:48 The Egg Roll and Other Wrestling  Techniques   30:00 Bobby's Headbutts and Knowing Cool Music  33:57 Magnolia or Hunger Games? Rudy's Favorite Movies  38:33 Bobby's Incredible Monologue for Attack on Titan  44:19 Tito Bobby's Fruit Flies and The Mango Eaters  48:12 Louie Anderson's Death and the World of Comedy  55:52 Bobby Lee and Pat Morita  1:04:50 Does Bobby Really Bomb?  1:12:22 Steve Embarrasses Bobby in front of Ralph Macchio TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun This podcast episode was sponsored by Candy Crush Sponsorships: on for this episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Some bad friends How old is this water bottle? Okay, okay, but we don't do ghetto you think this is You think this is more ghetto than king of the state or fight in the king? Seriously, what? I understand you're on a thin line right now Okay, the thin rope the thin rope why are you pointing at me cuz the thin rope is very clear to me my friend

What do you mean? Wait, wait, wait about what you're about to say. I think about everything All I know is is that you you are like worm tongue Worm tongue everyone I want everyone I want cuz he ate a worm No, no, that could be but everyone just war everyone say this That I you know I take offense to that. I take offense to that. I take offense to that. What who is it? It's the dude in a Game of Thrones. No, he's the Lord of the Rings. Yeah, yeah

Yeah, remember he was the one that fucking mesmerized the king But hold up. Hold up because he was like putting him in a combo toast and then and then the fucking white gant gandy Yeah, or a gandy showed up with a stick. I thought it was Gandalf. Whatever. No Yeah, he's a manipulator, right? And he goes and they're like he has to step right and he goes Back up and he puts up the staff and it takes the king out of the now now and then what do you're warm tongue? You know what you are? What am I what am I what you are in Lord of the Rings? Oh, no, no, no, no, no This is my own analogy. I can come I can come up with my own movie All right, you are you started with that you got

What you are you're the actual dark crystal where you extract people's energy like when the podlings look into the dark crystal Yeah, you know, yeah, and you are the actual dark crystal. You extract people's positive energy And negative and negative energy. Yeah, you know Okay, can I say something about that? You're not you're not privy to the dark crystal sucks in right negative energy positive energy, right? But also cancers. What do you mean that fucking dark crystal, right? Three podlings. Oh, no, no, no, no, you're making this up chemo dude. He's making that that purple is chemo. No, it's chemo Not purple. No, no, no, no, it's not. I thought it was green

For some reason when I hear chemo, I just think green okay, so you know what you are them Well, dude, let's not do this. Well, let's start more on a positive. Can we start again? Oh, let's start again Let's start again, but let's just be more positive. Let's do we don't want it Well, how about it with this? We start with a bad friends like I'll introduce it, but let's do positive affirmation, right? Bro bro bro your world dude. Yeah, I'm gonna say something about your world, dude I've never I never saw anyone like you before right? You know how you and I when we met there was Some chemistry and a light. Why do you why but what I'm saying is that I had never met anyone like you That's why I didn't get close until I saw the show cheer

Then I go I see Heat this guy Jules just on Netflix. He's a cheerleader. I Was he was he wasn't cheerleader in high school the schools that they're talking about on cheer. Mm-hmm. That's where I cheered at Really? Yeah, that's the actual school. Yeah, that's what I cheered at. That's what you cheered at Yeah, because I knew that about you your pro at that level. Yeah at that at one point. Mm-hmm So when I was watching cheer, I thought about you. Yeah, there he is. You really did. Yeah, it's basically He what chappelle AC is he seems like a guy That was adopted

Dude, you better watch Cuz I don't like where you're getting at whenever I saw I saw when I met you I go fuck number one you were wearing a Ramones, I don't have a Ramones shirt. Okay. Well, you were Oh See how he fabricates and lies Fabrications Cations Bob is in the right area. I'm in the right area. I love the Ramones, but I would never wear Ramones shirt I'm like that weirdo. That's how cool you are Michael at the end of this podcast

Yeah, is to prove to the world that you ain't with him No, no, no, you No, you're one hundred with me with me in no no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we like yeah In terms of style in terms of what we think is good in terms of film television and skateboard. Hey, but here's it Here's another thing I seen his dick You know what I kind of do wanted because I feel close to you. Yeah, I liked you right when I met you I would like to show you my balls in my penis It's a lot was that what would you be coming up with that? I'm true to gay dudes and they've never

Never looked at me go yo I love you and like it's easily dude. I can't help it dude kick-ass like your totaches or the shit But yo can I show you my dick and ball? It's crazy. It's crazy. No one's ever done that. But when you ask, right? You already lose. What do you mean? What do you mean, mother? When you may I may I you know what may I show you my genitals? I already you lose you what you do as you go There's rules. There is rules in my head. I'm like, I know I can see the twinkle in his eyes When I met you I knew you when you looked at me, dude, you you did this you looked at my eyes And you did a downward glance and pop right back up

Wait, do it. So this is what yeah, so I go. Hey, I'm bobby You go, I'm chappelle right do I talk like that to me to you though. I'm chappelle right anyone like this Yeah, you know when I saw that You did that when I saw that I went There it is and when you saw it in a good way and when you saw it. I think you reacted In the worst kind of way. I think you ran away. No, and there was a point No, wasn't there a time wasn't it how you would avoid me? You know what it was you ready for this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay I want to hear this. I just moved to LA. Okay. Just moved to LA. I'm hanging around the comedy store, right?

And I hadn't met bobby already, but it was maybe like a few weeks of me living into LA Literally weeks and then he was like, yo after my set, let's go get something to eat. You know It was being another comment. Does it sound normal? Yeah. Yeah, you do that. He was like, that's normal. That's you No, anyone. Well, that's you human beings eat. No, but you really are nice to other comedians. We go to Agassi Agassi We go to Agassi great meal great meal Then we say he bobby's just dropping all this dope knowledge about comedy. I'm feeling good. It's cool. I'm in LA I'm like, dude, I'm hanging out with bobby Lee

And literally he was like we're hanging out outside. He goes, hey, you want to, you know, there's a spa So he goes there's a spa You know, I usually take a lot of comics too. It's a late night spa. Oh, you know And I'd only bought one black eye to that spot before you who was it? Who else would go with me? Oh, Ian Edwards Yeah, yeah, it was Ian and it's so funny whenever I when I brought him I think you did the same thing when I brought Ian there He found basketball shorts No, no, no, I didn't know. You didn't go. You made it. I looked around and go oh, fuck. Cheapel's doing what fucking Ian did

There were they found basketball shorts somewhere because they don't want to show that you know I know what it is. It's respectful. It's a Korean spa and you don't go to the steam room and you go to freak out the Koreans No, listen It's Cheapel. Let's do it. You and I were in nom, right? And you are and I would be scared because you're sensitive like I am I'm very sensitive and you and I would be in it foxhole, probably Yeah, right. I'd probably show you my thing. Yeah, because I want to show you what it looks like when it's super scared, right? And in war in war my penis looks like this. Yeah

Like that But that's what that's not what it was in the spa. You wait wait wait. That's not what you saw You're gonna bitch out of what and I was like I Said all right and so we go in he goes he goes don't look around he goes Just pick a locker put your clothes in there and I'm like what you all my clothes. He was like, yeah You get there's just a spot you gotta get naked. Yeah, and I'm sitting here like oh No, I was walking around like that

Then we go on this dude with then we go in the sauna and we're sitting there in the sauna dryer wet dryer wet one the dry one We're sitting in a sauna me and the other dude. We're just sitting on the bench there Bobby is like dropping comedy knowledge to us and Meanwhile, he's doing high kicks And I'm sitting here like how do you want me to fucking take you serious and then dude the best part of it It was when after we were done in the spa for like an hour or so He goes he drops us off at a 7-Eleven to order our He dropped us off so quick like he just like drop and then left and I'm like it's so funny

Let me see the details the details it's like the details what you miss the details the details is probably who paid for August eat back Jung he paid for August he who paid for the spa he paid for the spa. Yes, he did interesting He did what does his penis look like to you? Yeah, you know this was almost three years or no, this was three years. He's got a dark dick He's got a dark dark. He's just like kicking his highs like his leg gets up there. Oh, yeah I was doing this like you're probably sitting on a bench. Yeah sitting on a bench right dry sauna. I was probably just going like Yes He was literally like you was like you got to get up as much as you can

Yeah I'll be a week later. I went back to the spa and the Koreans were talking about you No, you go you go you go no jingle. I don't know what you're doing. What you know what you go to? He said you're he said they're talking complimenting your dick saying what it looks like. Yeah, it's a gishing like a ghost Yeah creature like a creature like a ghost creature like a ghost creature. I think gishing is creature gishing is ghost Oh ghost. Yeah, so big. It's not a ghost Yeah, I go to guy you go you go sky scraper got there Sky scraper skyscraper got there, right and then they say to me no, go to you. Uh, you go

nah, uh, nah, uh Son 8 Yeah No, you got an average dick, don't you You know what I know what it's not bigger do mine grew no I will always no, no, no, no, no, no, have a contest right now No, no, no, I think no cuz I do extra like I've done exercises to stretch it out over the years I think I think I think I think I think I can match you. You'll see

Yeah, yeah, I think I can match him now. I think I could I think you that's a thing Thing yeah, it is a thing Your brother here's the thing by your brother. Yeah, I always you're the most honest man. I think I know Exactly, so that's why I'm like you say that. No, you didn't must be my friend in college said I promise you this to Chappelle Okay, think about if you I'm thinking about I already thought about it If you're in medical school, right, I can see this happening, right a bunch of kids, right? Are in a conference room, right? They're putting up slides. Yeah, right before the test. Just just warm up Yeah, they throw out things. What's this they go? Oh, that's it some sort of skin, you know rash thing, right?

And they show his penis. They wouldn't think they wouldn't say penis. They'd go. Oh, that's a skin tag on somebody's neck. Hold up We Jules has not said what can we let Let Jules talk. So Jules, please let Jules talk Jules check it out. Okay What are you doing? All right, so Let me ask you to say something Jules, right When you hear adults, how old are you Chappelle? I'll be 35 on Sunday. Okay. Is that an adult? Yeah. Yeah. How old are you Steve? 47. 47. I'm 50, right? Jules, do you think this is not what we should be talking about right now? From what I've heard with you and your friends to Bobby, I think it's normal

It's normal talk, so it doesn't make you feel uncomfortable No, so let's play a little quick game and just make assumptions. Okay, just in your mind if you were gonna do biggest of smallest Just out of assumptions Just go one two three point and then that's it and then we can move on. Okay. Okay. Go ahead Yeah Okay You know, she's right. No, she's not right. No, cuz you're cuz you're fat

No, I'm just letting you know the fat on your stomach the fat in your stomach overpry is overlapping your dick at this point You know what is that? No, cuz you're No, let me say something right if I'm a man I have a house right and the rooftop right if the rooftop is big It still has nothing to do with my situation No, I'm just saying the placement of your penis is probably like down like way near your anus So it's not getting the light, you know, that's why it's great. It's not getting sunlight, but what does that have to do with size? I Don't know

What do you let me try when you ask me to think about it hold up. You're right. You know how he goes think about it Yeah, can we ask him to think about it? Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. That's it. Think about it So that's a lesson. We do this as just a fine. This is just a friendly gesture After this, let's all go to the spot together. No, I know we can You got shit to do With us ever again, you wouldn't that was a wild experience You wouldn't go with me. How long have you did you know Bobby before he invited you to the spa? Weeks weeks like not even not even not even full month. It's probably one or two weeks

Okay, I've known him for over 10 years not one invite to the spa Okay, so what now now that's now that's something about you man. Yeah, that says something about you Why me and why not you? He only invites funny people. No, it's not that. Um, let's see. Let's see. Um, why should I invite a podcast producer? You mean or should I potentially a kid that could be the next Eddie Murphy? Yeah Yeah, dude, that was a compliment, bro. That was a compliment. Addie come on. I'm sorry George. Yeah It's just basically it's common sense dog. Yeah, I try to defend you. I'm getting a prop comedy. I'll come back I'm probably banned from there. Anyway, I can't go back. What to the spa. Yeah

I apologize for the poo again from at the Grove When I put on the parking lot, what I've been thinking about that lady. I apologize What that was not for you for a younger brother to witness an older brother to poo in a parking lot is I just thought about it. It's not right. Well, Bobby, they have bathrooms at the Grove didn't have time They should have one in every corner like they should have a they should have a Parking spot and then a bathroom stall and the parking spot, you know, one thing I will never understand is how adults shit their pants. Oh Dude, this was

This wasn't even shit. It was pure liquid. It was like you who you know, the you who chocolate It looked like that like just a huge pond Chappelle you did what you did. I You know, I feel like you don't fuck. Oh Are you out of your mind Oh, okay, all right, what he does. It's so funny because this is this is the exact conversation. I expected Coming to you. Do you really? Yeah. No, so wait. Do I fuck? No, I'm not saying Man, it's just you know, it's all about it's all about language and I said it wrong. All right. Yeah, I'll let you try again

Oh, thank you When I look at Chappelle Lacey, right? Yeah, obviously, right since he does eat food Sleep because he's he looks like he's Existing he's not dying, right? And I'm sure he does get sexual intercourse Occasionally on the road or whatnot, right? But in my head, I can't really see it, right? You making love to any woman Oh, you're wrong. That's interesting. That but that's a fair thing to say. Thank you. You want to know why that's fair Why cuz I'm not I don't give off those those vibes at all Maybe he is my guy, and I don't know if you're my guy anymore. Maybe he's cuz you you out here thinking I just

Know, you know, no, yeah, I you're not you're not the type of guy, right? Oh one. I have a girlfriend to She's Alive I assume when you make a heavy love, right? When you make the heavy love that you're the type of guy to look at your girl and go would you like a warm towel? Yeah, you go get a warm towel a fresh one, right? Yeah, you in fact You might go to the fucking the actual closet to get a folded one. Yeah, not a used one

Yeah, put the warm water on 100. Yeah me damn you know me. I know dude. How does he how does this happen? How do you Majority people like don't know where to take me, but you know exact. That's why you took me to the spot That's right. I know you're dude. That's why you're baby. You invited me and you have yeah, I get it so crazy So I'm not this I'm not that one guy I'm like a mystery to most you know what I do when they go when I'm making love don't make a love You want to clean? She goes. Yeah And they use their hand

You know me and I'm at that point. I'm already sleeping After this is gonna fall asleep. That's that's your world. Yeah, that's my world I don't do that. That's your baby. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. You know, you know why I'm that way why it's cuz of cheerleading Can you please do a demonstration? Oh my god, that's a legit dude. Oh my god, dude. Yeah, that's a legit dude My god, dude, can you do a flip? Yeah, I can't even do one flip. Look at that You know what the leaves are we're not flippers we're rollers We don't flip but we roll we roll better. Yeah, we roll like a modifier. Don't wait in a perfect ball, dude

Yeah, in fact, can I say something when we wrestled right when we did the roll? Well, what do they used to call that the egg roll? Yeah. Yeah, so I made up a root move rule I made it. I made about move in wrestling that the coach Branstad are called the egg roll no Toretto Oh, Toretto did Al Toretto. I'll try to call me. Yeah. Yeah, and basically what it is The way you get your stuff you guys when I When I I have businesses online, dude, and the thing is is that I don't use junk I only use a list up my shoes are a list the blankets on my bed are a list and the way I move my Merch is a list ship station. If you sell stuff online, you're definitely in the right business bingo to the Lou

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Just go to shipstation.com click on the microphone at the top of the page and type in bad friends That's shipstation.com enter code bad friends make ship happen You guys during the pandemic we all struggled and me and Kalyla we struggled hard and guess what we did we decided not to sit and Wallow in our depression and we decided to use be to better help better help is online therapy Okay, they match you with your own licensed professional therapist. You can start communicating in under 48 hours We all have tried it. It's not a crisis line. It's not self-help. It's professional counseling done securely online Better help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they can make it easy and free to change Counselors if needed. God man, I couldn't even say it better than that

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Okay, all right. Yep. What's this? Right? Uh-huh Right, basically We're weak Right, yeah Right, yeah, okay, right Yo, yo, Stevie, Stevie, yeah Why are you laughing? Why is that? It's real. Why is that so funny?

Wait, hold on. Why is that so funny? Chappell, why is that so funny? What was that funny looking? So my brother used to do this thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, go back. I want to do my So check it out. All right. I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to describe it for you. Okay, so My brother was ranked probably the number one guy in California second in the California Second Okay, that's what he told me. Yeah, yeah, but my brother would go to Oklahoma remember and kill everybody there So my brother was very good. So every year my brother even as a freshman was in varsity or no

He lettered as a freshman dude. Oh wow, and I wrestled all my high school never got a letterman jacket He got his freshman year All right, so my brother was a champion They would put in the papers they would write articles about him and then in California not just local like in the California like newspapers big ones, but you're missing a big point And so every year my brother would win the CIF CIF title, right? And and so what happens is when you go to the fucking auditorium They show the mat in this big auditorium, right? And they have tunnels

Uh-huh, and they would put smoke out and my brother would they'd say Steven Lee my brother would come out Museum you run from the Stevie Lee, right? Thank you. I was in the front row. In fact, if you look at wrestling photo, yeah, yeah I'm always in the audience with long hair. I was always supportive, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely one night my brother was CIF My brother did something So what my right what my brother did is so basically what it is is this, okay? Oh, let me do it. Let me do it. You're gonna do it to me. I was the kid. I was the kid. I was the kid. So he stood up like this. He stands up like this. My brother, right?

This is an improvised move. I won't like this. No, no, you didn't do that. No, I didn't. What did you do? I think you did this. You grabbed it underneath and you grabbed his neck like that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You snapped him back. Let me do it. Let me do it. He snapped him back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you went up like this, right? Yeah, yeah. And I went like this and I snapped him back. He said, so go back down and I went like that, right? And he fucking pinned him. Yeah. And the place went, yeah, pandemonium. Yeah, yeah. I was crying. I don't know how. It was adrenaline where I went boom and then I got down. And this was your freshman year? Yeah, this was like my sophomore. Yeah. And my brother, every year and every tournament would crush it article after article, pride, pride, Lee, pride every year, every year, senior year. He goes to state and he makes shame. He shamed. He shamed the Lee family. He shamed our heritage. He burned the family tree, dude. So I was there. I drove 12 hours from Sacramento in a minivan, dude. 12 hours back, right back. I didn't even know if I had a brother then, dude.

Anyway, good job, though. The snapback. Hey, freshman year. Give him a round of applause. Snapback freshman year, dude. Those are skills you don't forget, though. Oh, yeah. I can't do a lot of this. There's this. When I was in eighth or ninth grade, they prep you, right? They groom you to be the next varsity 103 pounder. Do you remember a guy named Tony Matusi? Do I remember Tony Matusi, dude? I think about him every day. I know his body. This kid, Tony Matusi. Imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger. No, no, Rocky Marciano. His face was like Rocky Marciano. His body. Arnold Schwarzenegger body. You already go into this shrinking machine, right? So Arnold goes, me? Yeah, he goes in a shrinking machine. He goes down to 98 pounds, right? That's Tony Matusi. Dude, he was a buff. Yeah. My brother. Like he looked like Robert De Niro, like Rocky Marciano. Just a little, little Rocky Balboa. He was 40 years old. He was a rock. Like a coal miner. Really? Yeah. A New York coal miner. Yeah. No, no, no, no.

The coach, Branstad and Toretto, they invited me after, like before practice, hey, get your shoes and meet in the wrestling room. Just to see how I would do against, because he was the guy and I was my brother. I took him down. I took him down, but then I, you know what he said? Because I kept headbutting him and he goes, you're just like your brother. I kept headbutting him and that's what he gets there. I will headbut the fuck out of you, bro. I will headbut the fuck out of you, bro. Yeah, but I do like, I don't even need distance, bro. I'll show you, bro. I don't even need distance, bro. Check this out. Got your head, bro? I will fucking crack your fucking, I will crack your cheekbone, bud. I will crack your cheekbone, bud. That hurts so bad right now. But with him, but I did it for the comedy, bud. How about the cast off, but I did it for the comedy, bud. You didn't have to do that. Yeah. I go into convulsions.

But with him, he was actually slated to Russell Varsity as senior year at 105 pounds. 105? Yeah, 105. Why do you keep trying to build? I'm a loser. You know, you're a winner. No, I'm a loser. Why do you keep building up your... Dude, sex in the city, mad TV, you know what I mean? Pineapple Express. This guy, he's on top of the road, right? And it's amazing. Listen, I really do feel like I connect with Bobby now. Fugazi check. Name me one Sonic Youth album. Washing machine. Evil. He's so cool, dude. He's so cool. Daydream Nation. Great sister. Sister's a great album. Dirty. Dirty, yes. Dirty's a great album. It was a very conversable... I think I have a dirty shirt. No, I have the Washing Machine shirt. I wonder if that was it. No, I was wearing Sonic Youth Washing Machine shirt.

That's what it was. That's what it was. Now I remember. Oh, I finally get it. See how we're doing it? He doesn't like you as much. You also made a comment about it? I get it. No, you do. I realize. Adam Egan. Yes. He made a comment about it. That's right. Because I saw he had a Sonic Youth patch on his vest. And I was like, Yo, Washing Machine's one of my big albums. I finally get it. I know why. Andrew Santino and I are doing a movie. Wouldn't it give you the third lead of the movie? Absolutely. If you answer this question correctly. Oh, gosh. Is this a music question? Yes. Just name me one. Pavement Album. Oh, fuck. Damn, that's a tough one. I know the album I'm thinking of is the one with... It's got cut your hair on it. Yes. What's the name of that album?

Adam Egan's favorite Pavement Album is Wauizawi. Yeah, that's the red one, right? No, that's a blue one. It has a little like a cartoon drawing of a couple of monkeys on it. I thought he liked the red cover. That's called slanted enchanted. Enchanted. Enchanted. Enchanted. That's the one that you're thinking about. That's what I like. But the thing that you're thinking about is... No, cut your hair. It's not on that album. No, it's called Crooked at Rain and Crooked at Rain. Crooked at Rain. Yes. Yeah, Crooked at Rain and Crooked at Rain. I'm sorry. You're in the movie. Sixth lead though. Wait, can I intervene? That's 12 lines. I'll take six. I know why. Now it makes sense. That was a good question. I know why you guys have this connection. Why? Because I went the hip hop route. I got into the other stuff later. Yeah.

You guys were... And that's my fault. You guys were more into the cool black flag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? That route. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was very, very true. Yeah, and then I didn't discuss that until later. Yeah. You didn't fuck with each other immediately because I was wearing the Sonic Youth shirt. Yeah, and you know, this is why this is where like maybe like I want to be more open and honest about it. It's like, I think that you and I could be very good friends because you and I have extreme similar things that we like. Yeah.

How about this? I'll give you the third lead if you name me five skateboarding companies. Oh, God. Twin Machine Foundation, Baker, Birdhouse... Yeah, that's... I get it, I get it. Just one of the coolest guys ever. Right? And this is what I'm telling you, Jules. Like, I forced her to watch Magnolia. You forced her? Yeah. He forced you?

I forced her to watch it. What did you think about it? The movie Jules? So long. I mean, you try. You try. I go, I go, look at Philip Seymour often was acting. Yeah. He was better than... Hunger Games.

Hunger Games. He's better than... I didn't know he was in Hunger Games. Yeah, he really good. He started Hunger Games. He better Hunger Games. Oh, my God. Tom Cruise too much. That she said. Tom Cruise too much. That was a great character.

What a great character. That motivational spirit. Yeah, yeah. And then she fell asleep for half of it. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do this with Jules because you didn't let her talk a lot this episode. Okay, go ahead.

Jules, what are your top three movies? No, T2 Bobby's gonna laugh at me. No, no, no, no, no. I'd like to do this. I promise I won't. Dude, no, five of your favorite. No, no, five, three of your favorite. It's three, three. A Walk to Remember.

Shout out to Shane West. You know that? I know Shane West, yeah. You know Shane West? Yeah, I do. Who's Shane West? He's the lead in there. He plays the boyfriend.

And that's your friend? Yeah. A Walk to Remember... I've never seen that. Can I say? Black Widow? Black Widow. Great movie. Do you see Black Widow? The new one. Oh no, I haven't seen that. Masterpiece. Love that. Oh really? Yeah. Is it really good? Really good. Do you guys like it? Oh Scarlett Johansson. I love Black Widow. No, was it good? I swear to God it's good. It's like Spider-Man good. I swear to God it's Spider-Man. I swear to God it is. Oh really?

It's that good. Yeah, I haven't seen it. I think it's good. It's good. I think it's good. Okay, she has one more. I don't think you're gonna watch and go, oh that was bad. Okay. And I wish you've done that to me a thousand times. No, I haven't. Oh yeah? Go ahead, third movie. And then Spider-Man No Way Home. Is that the newest one? You know, I think the better favorite? You know, Chappelle, I think the better question is, just name me all the movies you've seen. Because that would be the same list. What are you talking about? She doesn't know. She watches anime. You do? Yeah, she watches like Naruto. If I peek in a room. So let's give her this option. Oh god, Steve. No, because I want her to get involved. I like her. Yeah, what she loves doing. She writes poetry.

Oh, you? No! I don't! She does. And she does improv monologues and films. I don't. If you want, you want to see magic, go do an improv mom, give her a scenario. You're a lawyer and you're doing an opening statement for like somebody who got murdered at a trial. She'll do it. Three of your favorite anime. Just give her that. Okay, all right. At least give her that. Three of your favorite. Attack on Titan, Jujutsu Kaisen, Hunter Hunter. Oh. You don't know what that is. I know what Attack on Titan is. So, Steve, what's your favorite monologue from Attack on Titan? Um, dude, it's been years. Okay. If there's a monologue, if there's a monologue, what would the monologue be? They're coming. Imagine. Imagine, dude. Imagine. Imagine this, right? Yeah.

Some guy, a writer, Attack on Titan, right? So, basically, he knows that some voice over actor, right, is going to have a challenging day because this is a moment. This is a monologue, right? And the actor, the voice over actor can't sleep the night before because he knows the big moment. And it's so secret, they don't give him the sides. He shows up. Ready for your big scene? They're coming. They're coming. All right. You're going to. So, you just fucked up the bit. Oh, go ahead. Go ahead. No, it's. All right. You, Steve, Steve Steve, Steve. In the bit, right? Okay. The joke is for me to say they're coming. Oh, right? So, wait, wait, wait. Just for one minute. I'm not going to do it. I'm not editing. They know what I edit. Because it's,

the moment's gone. Yeah, the moment. So, by you saying you're coming. I didn't do that. No, you ruined it. No, no, do it again, please. No, no, it's funnier if you let us sit. No, I don't want No, no, no, no, that's not good for me though. I won't be able to sleep tonight Give me a one-minute monologue that they would do in fucking that. Oh, that'd be good. What do you mean? Just a make-up. You're gonna give them a minute. That's I could do it right now. Well, go ahead show us how it's done The sanctity of my life The sanctity of life is what we all should be focusing on because we live within the walls the three walls The center wall. I've never been as a child. I wanted to go to the center wall, but he would not allow me I

Therefore was bored within the third wall the third world where the monsters came at night Breach the wall ate my mother What are we gonna do as a people? Hide coward or do we fight? Do we fight as villagers? Do we fight as humans? Do we fight it as a family, right? That's why right. I'm flying down in the air. Yeah. Yeah, and I took I just now took down a fucking That's what I wanted you to do

First of all Absolutely not listen wait wait wait wait wait wait go ahead the only way we can make this official So Jules, what did you think of that? You watch anime? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, watch anime just look at me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no try to don't try to swear I'm sorry, but Bobby was good Thank you even flew in the air I Fleeing the air at the end. I make a choice and killed the boss to sound effects. You thought oh, it's public Francisco here No, Bobby Lee hornest it. Okay. That's why you do TV and movies my friend. You got it

Mm-hmm There was so much hostility behind there was no hostility did you feel the hostility there was no hostility All right. Yeah, cuz you cuz you couldn't do the yeah, I couldn't do the monologue you could what because I'll kind of tell you why I don't know the dialogue in that. It's been here. But here's what you do about improv. Okay? You don't know what you're gonna say ever you just start talking Because once you go, what am I gonna say it's over? It's a wrap. It's a wrap, right? So without even thinking you have to go in, right? So what I what did I say was my opening line? Yeah, the sanctity of life

That doesn't make any sense, but it is a beginning of a really good model. I think I think so too. Thank you. Yeah Yeah, anyway, you got a monologue Jules. No, I don't watch a lot of anime I'm in a room full of non improvisers. Oh, yeah, can you do it? No, I can't do it. No, I want to do this You can do it. No, you can't do a lot of anime I really fucking watch TV. Let's do this with Jules. I want to know personally what it's like to live with my brother Bobby Lee Dash don't dash don't dash don't dash Don't dash don't dash you guys when I go to Hawaii I had to order out a lot dude the only Steve the only app I use is door dash the most hospital

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You know I mine died three years ago. I looked at it. I go bye-bye But then you know what happened? I got a knock on the door guess who it was Roman and they go no no bye-bye Hello, I go hello. What hello to a new life and I started taking Roman and my pee pee is back Jules It's almost Valentine's Day and love is in the air and whether it's a third date or a 30 year anniversary You don't want a reptile dysfunction getting in the way of a perfect night If you've been experiencing ED then visit get Roman comm slash bad friends today to speak with a US licensed health care professional about ED if prescribed get $15 off your first month of treatment Okay, with ED treatments or you can have self assurance that comes from knowing you're prepared yourself for the moment when the moment comes

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Food every night and he doesn't clean it and so the kitchen is all messed up And then when I asked him to clean it he says No Because I have this big house I'm letting you sleep eat and do everything so you should clean it and it's all messed up Have to clean it every night. Okay. I might need a second here. Why I'm so furious. Why I'm so No, don't say think about what you're about to say. I didn't I'm just don't what are you a fucking Jedi master? I'm just just calm you calm. You're good. All right. Okay. I'm calm down now. Okay, okay

You little Trollop Pathetic little shit nugget, huh? Your piece of shit. Oh Interesting so can I ask you a question real quick and I just want to let one incident. Okay two nights ago very specific All right, I clean the kitchen just stop. Okay, and then you go did anti-Kalai like clean the kitchen? She said that and I go no, I did and you ask yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, and you ask Kala. I go did you keep the kitchen because I did such a good job. You couldn't believe it. No

Yes When you clean that I I also had to clean it again because all the plates had Small things that you couldn't wash fruit flies. Yeah, that's fruit fly Stay look like Fucking Malaysia There's fruit flies in all your homes Everywhere everywhere. Really? Anywhere you live fruit flies. Why anywhere? He would live through

Let me ask you a question fucker All right, why would one have fucking fruit flies fucker cuz you don't take out the trash. No, I love fruit God Well, listen, there's a lot of people that love fruit, but I don't see fruit flies. Are you not eating your fruit? All right, you fucking bro. I live with two two jungle Asians, uh-huh, right you you put a man I'll give you just like this. I buy mango at the store. Yeah, right. I park my car as soon as I walk I Had the man go my hand, right? As soon as I walk through the door. It's gone

The seed is in her mouth No, they love it. They love mango. Yeah. Now what fruit fries what they do with the seeds Uh-huh They put a seed just in the middle of the fucking living room, dude Like because that's very culture Jules you do that No, I don't Yeah, you do. I don't know you do you do it. Head Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. We do that all the time

We'll be having dinner right and her and I would not say we'll just look at each other at dinner Yeah, we hate each other Can I ask you this am I invited to the UFC fight tomorrow? I mean, I missed come go into your place and watch in fights. Are you Booster No Okay, if you would have got the booster 100% I'm gonna say something right now because today Louis Anderson died. Yeah, and I have to say I have to talk about it. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. I cannot talk about it Yeah, go ahead Bob. All right, um

You know this because I feel like you went through the process mm-hmm. It's hard comedy It's one of the worst human environments Ever I think I can't imagine any I don't see any other You know, I mean entertainment medium that has it that's it's as difficult acting so everything's hard I guess everything's hard but comedy is especially dark. Yeah, it gets real dark I don't know. I always think about that type of shit all the time because I journal like fucking religiously Well, what I remember what what what what what he journals religiously?

Well, he journals Well, so diary. Yeah, like journals diary kind of but go ahead Chappelle. So you have a diary? No, do you have a diary? Because when the guys say journal, I don't say dear diary, but that's what you are doing I don't go dear diary. Do you do this ever? I don't go today was hard Never never. Yeah, I had a difficult situation today No, no, I don't break it down like that. You know, so never in your in your diary. You go on journal

I have feelings for this person and they rejected it. No, so there's never any internal 14 years old. There's no introspection going on. It's a lot of introspection, but it's not like what like what you're talking like I'm as if I'm like 13 years old You're like I want to do the cone. Oh, it's usually just like I'm like, okay, I have a big anger problem. Most people don't know that what yeah I have a massive anger problem. So whenever something happens, like if a situation is thrown my way I'll journal about how like I'm actually proud of myself that I didn't react the way I normally would have. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got an anger problem. I know he does but you breathing

How do you get through the anger? How do I get through it? Yeah? Oh, man It's sometimes it could be fucking tough, but I just get really silent when I'm really Internalized when I'm really silent. Yeah, it's like oh shit. There's something wrong But would you see but but that that's me now back in the day you would physically snap what when I saw that video Are you flipping that doesn't look like you? That looks like a ten times bigger version of what you were you bigger than Slimmer You're shredded. Yeah

I It's you know what it's got a force Whitaker vibe That's what you gave me go stop Alright, go stop cuz I love ghost dog. Oh, I'll take that and then when I say go stop I didn't mean ghost dog. Yeah, but I knew the ghost would make you feel better. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you know, yeah, you know me Jealous now, I don't I was close to you. Yeah, yeah Whittaker body you give him a body there and maybe there'll be a banning of body of that fact that he said force Whitaker He said ghost dog in like ghost I was a fucking dope. Oh, I got a better than one than that

Oh Lawrence fish burn in apocalypse now, I didn't see apocalypse now I Gotta see what it looks like Lawrence fish burn in the King of New York. No, no Oh, yeah. So my brother thinks no when my brother thinks this light skinned You think that this body the body of cream of dual jabar, that's what his body looks like No, no, give me some other examples. No, you give me another example of an actor. I want to stick with Lawrence I want to stick with Lawrence the different skin color You know, I want to stick with Lawrence. If we're gonna give you another chance, I'd rather use a different actor. Thank you

Okay, okay, okay Will Smith and I am legend It doesn't look like that I am legend. I am legend. I got one. I got one Denzel and fences I'll take that fuck I'll take that that's a fair one. Yeah, that's a fair one. It's a fair one So you're giving me like like like I don't like he's giving me very fair body types. You're giving me like That's fair

I gave you a real good one. That's out of my league. What do you mean? Yeah, yeah It's like be saying you you uh, Chris Hemsworth. Yeah, it just doesn't make any sense That's what that's exactly. It doesn't make any sense. So are we talking about body type? What are we talking about here? Body type when you No, when you're at your peak in gymnastics, is that what we're talking about? No, we're talking about current Oh, see I see that's where I have to intervene because I thought we were going back to at his peak during his years I believe that he's the people who's thinking about that. So go ahead. That's fair. That's fair. Go ahead. Go ahead. Now try it

Yeah, try it Think about it. Think about it. Yeah, think about it I got another one Think about it. I already have another one. Go ahead. Go ahead. Okay. Let let delroy lendo in the core I gotta see that delroy lendo the core Yo, yo check it out, dude. Yo, don't get you get to any delroy lendo any delroy lendo Face this is a face. No, no, no, I gotta know dude delroy lendo the harder that ain't happening. Yeah No, that ain't happening. Just get to go the harder to call your photo body photo

I'll take that. No, that ain't happening, bro Yeah, no delroy lendo see I'll take I'll take del delroy lendo, right? I'll take delroy. Yeah. Go go ahead And this is a compliment, dude Hold up Cuz he's been complimenting me. I know I need to get you on my side man cuz it's I'm jealous of your guys's thing Cuba Gooding, Jr. In a Jerry McGuire Okay, but can I let's talk about yeah, can I say something right now? Yeah, and I'm about to because could the UFC is tomorrow go down the lineup

I don't know I don't know the lineup, but I only know the two but there is a fighter a Mexican kid Who's the champion now? Yeah, he's the one twenty-five Marino. Yeah one twenty-five pound guy and my start I already know what I'm saying. So why let's it today. I was going I Was watching the embeddits and I go Brendan Marino It's pretty fucking cute, huh? He's a cutie and she she goes. I know what you're saying that And I go why she goes it's so weird and gross. Well, and I go why he goes He's the Mexican version of your brother

Wow, have you seen him talk to his kids and the way he acts he acts just like you no I don't he's a kid baby. I don't agree. That's a cop. Yeah, it is a beast though. Is that a compliment? Yeah All right, don't keep it in. Keep it in. Keep it in right now. Anyway. Anyway, that's you dude Really? Yeah, that's a compliment. Now. Give me a body. Yeah, give him a body. Everyone. Give me a body now Okay, well hold up. I just saw the Pat marita documentary Dude, I'm just letting you know, I'm just letting the whole world know dude. That's the most Closest to you Not only body type. Yeah facial structure hair everything

You behavior and you know, bro, I was gonna say that I was gonna say the grandpa from three ninjas. That's what I was gonna say. There you go. Oh, yeah Pretty close. He was a G pretty damn crazy. Dude. That's a great documentary though You know that the more than Miyagi. Have you seen this documentary? I haven't you know what the saddest part of it Do you see the spot where he's doing that bong? He's like 70 years old Yeah, and he's smoking this bong with like all these young kids. Yeah, and he's like at a party Yeah, yeah, and in my head. I'm like, oh, I didn't know that yeah in my head. I'm like It just doesn't look right or feel right. Yeah, you know, I mean like he should be like, you know, babysing his grandkids

Yeah, and going to like Disneyland Do more family people don't know he was a stand-up. He was a stand-up. He's a stand-up. He don't realize his career is so much like mine It is it's so much. It is his career is so much even him as a person He was like the San Francisco guy like this guy guy was born here. Just talk like us. Yeah, regular guy Yeah I never knew why Did you know why? When he was up when Pat marita was unhappy to Asians

We went We turned on whatever that was happy to yeah, and he came Like they went crazy Yeah, yeah, they were crazy and the reason why the next year he wasn't on the show anymore Uh-huh. It's because the network gave him his own show. Oh, that's right, and it failed and they yeah And they tanked and he couldn't get back in really Until karate kid. Yeah. Oh, cuz yeah, yeah Yeah, miss me on you for a minute, but you have to understand that from happy days to karate kid

You're talking about how many years 20 years. No. Yeah, so what are you right? You're right. What did he do? I know what did he do just gas-starring different things yet? All right, man, but yeah, man If you want to if I'm telling you right now if you want to know Somebody that's very similar to Bobby Lee. It's what's it beyond Miyagi. Yeah, take his compliment instead of mine Yours was a an attack Yours was such a fundamental attack first of all, you don't even give me an actor that's even famous You go, oh, you know that guy that died in total recall

I'm the guy that died in total recall Yeah, the dude in the beginning in the elevator. I like what that's a damn good movie though Damn Right the original total recall, right? Damn good fucking damn good movie. So in a way that was a compliment Mm-hmm. I Mean, I can't believe I didn't kill you along Growing up. I don't know. No, it's okay. It's okay, but do you remember?

How violent that was Why you bring that up that's what I have a comment what you had an abuse of dad Yeah, that's what I brought it up. He wanted me to you know what he did. You know, he looked at me Do you know what he did? He went He did the eye thing again, dude You guys do have a connection And I'll accept that no, no, you do have a special connection with your dad violent stepfather And was he um, let me ask you something. Okay, your mother raised you then. Yeah, I was with my well

My story's kind of tricky. I want to know so I was with my biological mom and my stepfather, right? Both black Yeah, both black and my stepfather that kicked me out and then I was adopted into a white family Well, I didn't know that. Yeah, your senior year or just in high school. I was in high school. Yeah Yeah, I love those liberal white families that do that. Love. Yeah. Yeah. The Sandra Bullock and the Tim McGraw. Yeah What do they feed you bud? The worst shit ever Like what? Like what? That food was trashed No, really? Yeah, they don't listen. So yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like super christians. Oh, they must love you So you went to church. You weren't you had to go to church and all that? No, they actually

At first they were pretty hard about it. And then eventually they were like Oh But you probably didn't do drugs or drink. Well, you were no trouble. I was I was heavy in the drinking. Oh, you are? Yeah Well, well, I've been off alcohol Almost eight years. Oh, well, which is a hard liquor or beer like what? Yeah, wild turkey Put a little hair in your chest Well, I was pretty I was pretty that's yeah, that was my When you're flipping around I didn't like anything

But Chappelle when you're doing the flip do when the wind in your head. I should be a comedian. Oh, when does that happen? Someone dared me Oh, wow, and I just got on stage. I did and I was like, I'm dropping out Of of college. Yeah. Yeah My friend Randy signed me up So we were at a place called Thomas paying coffee shop in San Diego And I met this guy named Randy at improv class this old Jewish guy He had like glasses He goes, well, I'm doing I'm doing stand-up now. So, you know improv is not my thing anymore

So let me go check you out. Yeah, he went to a coffee shop. He goes up and I was so impressed that he went up there He bombed But just the act of he's a guy. I met in class. He's now really doing it Yeah, he decided to sign his name up and go in front of strangers And what was it like a bookstore? It's a coffee shop. Okay. Thomas came coffee got Thomas paying coffee shop And he gets off and as I'm saying He did it man Wow that impressed. Oh press me

How are you feeling man? I'm doing that. I hear Bobby Lee Oh, he signed me up. Oh, wow. And I go And he goes you gotta do it And I went up there and I remember the bit I did. What'd you do? I did a bit about lsd Well, go ahead. Do it. Do it. It's not good. I'll just do it. I have to stand up and do it. Okay, dude. Yeah Go ahead. Go ahead. Do it do it. Yeah, okay. Alice is a crazy drug, man You take it man. It doesn't hit you until like 45 minutes later

Like when you take it at first you're like, I don't feel anything I don't feel anything Right, so I do this so I do this right. Oh, you did that. Yeah, I do this a cartoon. I think yeah Right and it's one of those drugs what you think you're doing one thing, but you're really doing something else Oh, no, you think you're walking down the street like this. And then you do the walk. You're right. I go No one notices Yeah, I'm good. No one right, but you're really walking down the street like this and you do I do a crazy, you know Act out. No one notices. Are you going cringe right now? No one notices. Yeah, but it's still got to laugh

So you did well Well, you're making fun of me now. No, no, no, you didn't bomb though It's not about bombing or killing. It's about going up there. Yeah What people don't realize it's not about doing well or doing bad God in the universe What no, I love this what you're clearing out the no, no, no, I love what I love what you're about to do Yeah, everyone listen to me right now. And this is a truth Okay

God doesn't care if you win or lose. He just cares if you try Right What? Would you find that quote? He's just doing that right now. You're speaking for God. Yeah, that's yeah I shouldn't speak for God. You're right. I forgot it's God. I so what I'm saying though is I think Yes, yeah, my belief is this that right? Right that like you get rewarded for trying

Right, it's in the trying because when you try even if you fail Especially doing stand-up. Oh, it's painful. It's not painful for me. It's painful at first but but Oh, it's a bomb. But yeah, but the but the overriding but the overriding healing when you bomb The overriding feeling when your bomb is bad is bad, but there's underlining feeling Of pride What do you mean by that for just doing it? Yeah, really? Yeah, you can be bummed that you bomb, but there's still an underlying feeling that you fucking did it Yeah, really and that you're a man that you walk through the fire and you brave and you walk through the fucking fire

I hit anyone that doesn't walk through fire But you guys haven't bombed in a long time. Is that I bomb all the time? No, I don't I bomb all the time. No Yeah, I do. No, you don't I bomb all the time. No, you don't. No, no, no, absolutely not. George. Have you seen a bomb? George? George, absolutely not even when Bob thinks he bombs. He does better than most people, but I've seen him bomb for him I rest my case. So I rest there my But I rest my case. No, your idea of bombing is like I really bombed. I've really bombed at the lab. I really bombed It was like a bad dream bomb. Oh, you talked to me right after that. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see it?

I didn't see he we talked about it like right Did did anybody ever say to you? Did you see Bobby's brother? He's terrible Chappelle look at me I throw the energy because I know how he thinks Yeah, right and everything that he's thinking right now and saying is based on his own mind and how he How he funneled the experience in his own mind, but it's not necessarily the truth And I know this is because him and I do the same thing

And that's why we get in trouble a lot when we tell stories because they're not really true Right, they're just how we interpret it interpret it and also we also will we're not willing to tell it Unless it's good. So how do you make a story good? You lie? No, no, no, no, I didn't lie about that. You exaggerate and you lie all the time. That's you. You're deflecting. That's you do that I admit it Can you admit it? Do I do that too? Can you admit it? Do I do that too? Yeah I told you earlier. I was like, you're the most honest man that I I think I think um I don't do that. I don't do that as much as you think. All right. So you

I Let's go back to the story. So you think I did horribly for you Mm-hmm Dude, but no one in the audience Don't remembers not only Ramirez cares You're right. You're absolutely right. Nobody cares. No one cares. You know what? No, I think about they probably don't really remember They don't they've never even thought about it. Yeah, but you spend you spend days and weeks Oh, honey, I'm still thinking about something that never happened. I'm still thinking about it

But it's insanity about it. Yeah, I haven't gone up since A month like a month I haven't gone up in a month. Yeah, but I'm doing guest spots with you. I'm doing guest spots soon So I'm gonna go back up. Okay. Because because if you don't no, no, no, no, I am but this is the thing Let me finish because if you don't Look at me right now because if you don't look at me right now You're a fucking coward. Oh, I know I'm not I don't want to be no power that same face. I'm not gonna do that

That's sir face right there That's what got me. No, this is the reason why You say, oh, you're gonna be and this is the reason why because I realize I can't let them win I need to you know what I'm saying like even though because they That night they were critiquing the whole thing but that didn't You see you see what I've dealt with all these years man when I try to really communicate with this guy He tunes out, but this is really vital. This is this is a vital thing about you about like Certain experiences, man. I don't know where you're at. What are you talking about? You're at the lab

You're not even in the main room The lab is the lobby The lab is just a couple of chairs and people waiting to go somewhere. So anyway, um, okay. Thanks for tuning in Well, wait, well, have you got have you gone up in the lab? Yeah. Have you gone up in the lab? But that's what they call it the lab. Yeah in labs. They experiment and they fail Oh, and then that This wraps up this episode of bad friends. Yeah, because this wraps it up because it's in the title lab means you bomb What the laboratory? Yeah

So it's an experiment. That was the whole point of it is to bomb Right, so you're bummed about doing the job that you were supposed to do With that no one even even knows You're right. I didn't even notice the obvious. I've seen it a million times. Oh, you see we go up? Okay Hey, do you guys there was there was a mini earthquake On the southeast and the Tonga islands. No, no There was actually a little mini earthquake in the southeast portion of mars recently. Uh-oh, but do you care? I don't like what you're doing right now. Do you care? No, you know what pretty far away

Don't give a fuck Don't throw anything at me, dude. All right. So what i'm saying to you is is that you take things personally You're right. You're absolutely right all your fears and all the things that happened to you is in your mind Chappelle, is he right? And I just want you to grow bombing in the lab. Like, yeah, is he right chappelle? Look at me It's like Why are you crying steve? I had devastating devastating said at the in the belly room In the belly room Was allison jones there

Oh, i'm gonna go i'm gonna do it. Okay, be a man. Be a lead dude. Be a man. Not only that. I'm riding some new shit I'm riding some new shit. You're right. Yeah, there you go cowboy bebop rat So why don't you recap what we talked about since the beginning because I feel like you were asleep the whole time Kind of yeah, go ahead. I remember that you have the smallest dick in the room That was the one two and a three Yeah, and then to be cool you have to know A lot of different musics like what you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah name one pavement album

The red one that was good go ahead um When you both were younger steve was cooler than you even though you're the oldest I love what you're doing and even now I think I think steve has a cooler Look than you did to bobby Um, I love it You're going yeah good Feel good. You're killing it. Good

steve that's you dog. That's you dog What do you mean? You're killing it So um, what a fun episode, huh? Did you guys have fun? That was fun, but I'm anyway So guys at the same time we're gonna say thank you for being a bad friend, right? Three two one Thank you for being a bad friend I made a I was a fool to Ralph. Yes To Ralph Machia to Ralph Machia

Oh, yeah, we talk about it. I'll just say it real quick. No, no, this is jules's time. But you know the story I'll just do this story. Let's do it. So so so you know there was a movie called the karate kid popular movie Mr. Miyagi is in it, but the star of it was a guy named Ralph Machia And if you watch the new kobra Kai, he's in it Nicest kid So there was a time jules where I was a star And when I was a star they used to have me host variety shows and I I hosted a show called the asian excellence awards Hosted by bobby lee, right and I go up and I do a monologue. It was at the will turn

Quentin Tarantino was there, right? Danny DeVito. Remember you sat in Danny DeVito's seat. I took Danny DeVito's seat I sat in Danny DeVito's seat. It says Danny DeVito on the seat Danny standing my brother sitting on the seat And I said this is my seat, bro Yeah, I was a fool. He was drunk That's why he's sober So there was one point where I was sitting there and I'm like, where's my brother? Oh, he's gone. Thank god So I'm sitting with Ralph Machio. He's sitting on the chair. I think Tarantino's there too. Yeah My brother's full-blown blackout drunk

So I'm talking to Ralph Machio And so I'm here Ralph Machio's right there. We're sitting on couches. Okay, this is my brother I swear to god Ralph Machio No, I said, no, I said, no, no, I said, no, no, I said, no, this is what I did. I go. I know I went karate kid did Karate kid did one of my favorites something stupid, but not once I kept all night long You did it all night long karate kid, man Oh

Oh, you did you hit him with the fucking See this is This is what exaggeration this is how I never did the craze. Yeah, I do it. I didn't do the craze. I never did the craze. Yeah, I never did the craze You wouldn't funny if you came in the face of the craze. That would have been funny. Never did it and Ralph. That was good And now it's it's time. It's Jules's time. Yeah, that's what