Bad Friends - Aoki's Science Corner

Starting point is 00:00:00 You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. Woo! Like Dave, and as you do, YouTube are disgusting. Woo! Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends. You know why I'm having a hard time.

Starting point is 00:00:13 All right, here's the bag. You don't open the episode. I know you try to do your fun. Of the episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You really, here's the deal. First of all, we're back. We're back in five, and it's back in 5, and 5, it's me and Bob. Yeah, and fancy brought a sub a

Starting point is 00:00:31 Substitute Asian a station. Yeah, and she's back the Liz is back. What's her name? Lizzy win. Lizzy win. That's your name. I love it. Lizzy win is in the house. Does anybody ever call you Lizzy? Yeah, They do like cuz I go by I go by like DJ Lizzy Liz and they're like what's I'm not a DJ? No, what would you what would she play if she was a DJ? What do you mean? What kind of see Viochi? She only yeah? She is Steve I okay. Oh, no, you kind of look like it. Yeah, you look like Steve. I okay is your new nickname? I okay. Oh, what's up? He does that too anyways. Yeah, thank you for coming to the show. In Vegas, I've seen him do that.

Starting point is 00:01:11 Speaking of great Asian moves in Vegas, I want you to Google that looks exactly like you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, okay, there we are. There you are. Hey, that head shot, can you help me with your that photographer? That was pretty cool. I got you. Okay. Hey, look up, look up Asian poker player. Uh-oh. Boob falls out. This girl named sashimi.

Starting point is 00:01:34 That's not her name. That's, she goes by. Her name is sashimi. Her name is sashimi. Look, click on it. What is her name? What's her name? Click on one of the links and see.

Starting point is 00:01:43 One of her boob fell out during the poke during the year. spring roll. Look at her. Okay, that's not the photo. I have a big pair. But look, it says wardrobe malfunction. One of her boobs fell out of her shirt during the poker game. But what does it say her name is? Shashi me. No, sashimi. Oh, Shashi. Aren't you Asian? I am. What kind did we get? Yeah, she's not real. This is not a good one. You have Asian parents where you adopted? I have Asian parents.

Starting point is 00:02:10 Both of them? Yes. Are you sure? I was, I have two Asian parents. I was raised by an Asian grandmother. So you should be really up to date here. Super Asian. This is like when you do a software up to your computer,

Starting point is 00:02:25 like you should be really, we should be running at the highest. That's it right there. Okay. So one of her tips just fell out at the poker table. Oh, dude, I thought you said, I thought you meant it fell off her body in a blend. So I'm like, what the fuck is going to do?

Starting point is 00:02:38 Because I thought you had like a, you know, implant and it came out or when it come out. Oh, it just came out? No, but look though, and this guy, this poor bastard, look at this idiot trying so hard to not look at her tail. Poker face. Yeah, poker face. Poker face.

Starting point is 00:02:52 Yeah. Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Look at that sashimi race of 3,000 and 5,000 per tit. Yeah. Pretty incredible.

Starting point is 00:03:02 It's a good move. How do you know this? Huh? The world's here as a poker is good move. How do you know this? Huh? The world's here as a poker is going on right now. You watch this? No, but it just made the news. Oh, it does. So a friend told me about it.

Starting point is 00:03:12 He was like, you see this video on the internet. I thought that maybe you were a fan of that. She made it. I do like sashimi. Yeah, I love it. I like Nagiri just as much. Nagiri is pretty good. Nagiri got kicked out of the tournament quickly.

Starting point is 00:03:21 Nagiri. Yeah, sashimi is going to last way longer than Nagiri. Yeah. Have you ever seen the card trickery of Omakase? Do you know him? You don't know what's common. That's the best part about it. All right, we'll be right back. I'll just shoot you.

Starting point is 00:03:32 Should we do some sushi jokes? I don't want to say something about sushi. Why do they say to you? Shama say, what does that mean? A shama say? When you walk into a sushi joint, they go, Shama say they do that. They think that's your name.

Starting point is 00:03:43 They think my name is a shama say it. Yeah, because I've never heard that before. Yes, you have. No, Shama. Yeah, they're saying, they think your name is just Shama saying. Then why do I say it back? That'd be like, They think that you're like Tourette or I'm weirdo.

Starting point is 00:03:54 Wow. Yeah, yeah. That's like them going, Andrew? Yeah, that's what they think. He Shama said, what does it mean? You guys know what that is. They did it on curb your enthusiasm in episode.

Starting point is 00:04:04 I don't know what it means, but, Can we talk about eelsauce? What about it? Why You guys know what that is. They did it on curb your enthusiasm in episode. I don't know what it means, but... Can we talk about eel sauce? What about it? Why do they even use it? It's for white people. White stone, like, I don't like it. What? Dude, I'm not white.

Starting point is 00:04:13 You can't go to Japan and go, can I have the eel sauce? No, I would never do that. Yeah, yeah, I'm saying, I don't know. But what I'm saying is that, I don't know anybody likes it, right? And yet, it's's like if you get a Crispy rice with tuna. Yeah, you have to say

Starting point is 00:04:29 Does that come with eel sauce and oh yeah, of course, yeah, no then get it off and they're like boy, Lord Because no one you know why they give it to us because they don't eat it over there They ship it to America and they're like maybe eat here. Yeah, they think we're gonna eat it. Is it eel? It's eel. what is eel sauce? You know what, let's guess before we look. I think they have the, if it, like, they mean, um, sunshine scream. If it was sunshine cream, I would eat it, but eel sauce. I think it's eel tears.

Starting point is 00:04:56 Thicken and sweet and soy sauce as perfect for a different, it's also unagi sauce. Yeah. So it's thick and sweet sauce by using what? It doesn't have any eel products. No. Oh, it's like Panda Express. Oh, you know, you go to PanExpert. Can I have the Panda and they don't have it because it's just the name. It's just sake, mirin, sugar, and soy sauce. Yeah, it's a lie. It does. No, it feels like there's eel in there. No. There's no eel. No, I don't think so. Why do they call it eel sauce? I think it's the, I used to work a Poke Place, and they always, you know,

Starting point is 00:05:26 they're always dressed it, dressed the eel in that sauce. Like it's supposed to be. They always dress the eel in that sauce. Yeah, it's like associating. And so they're like eel sauce. It's like a mistake sauce. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:37 There you go. I don't like this at all. Whatever's going on up in that booth right today, I don't, don't stop looking at each other. It's like saying, Miracat gravy. Yeah. What's in this? I just gravy. I like gravy. I like me. I don't like me. I don't like me. I get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Just see the name. What's the what's the thing you won't eat at a sushi place? Refuse. You know, like something that I get all the time, but every time I eat it it fucks my stomach up and I I always go

Starting point is 00:06:05 Why did you get that oony no what Soft shell crab. Oh, oh Dude I do not like soft shell crab. Yeah, and then the fucking it's is it that soft to oh Fucking shit gets in between your teeth two days later. You're all there's the skin of the soft Oh look at that. Yeah, there's a bastion. There's a little Right listen the skin of the top. Look at that. There's a bastion. There's a little Sebastian. Right? Listen, first of all, as a crab, grow thicker fucking skin. Yeah, come on, man. What kind of fuck were you walking around with no skin? I'm still be honest. You grow like with the regular grounds, I'll fucking armor. But they're

Starting point is 00:06:41 just, you know what they are? Are they I did the case. Yeah, they are. That's soft shells are the case. Hey, get out of here. Hey, get out of here. Yeah, yeah, maybe the gay crabs. Back back. Back up.

Starting point is 00:06:54 Get out of here. Yeah, you can eat me now. Is there a trans as there are trans crab that was off shell, but I went to hard shell. I refused to go there. Did he go soft shelf to hard shell? Is there trans crabs? Oh, yeah, trans crabs lives matter. Did he go to soft shell to hard shell or I refuse to go there. Did he go soft-shell to hard-shell? Is there trans crabs? Oh yeah, trans crabs lives matter.

Starting point is 00:07:07 Did he go soft-shell to hard-shell or hard-shell to soft-shell? Well, I think soft-shell to hard-shell, I think that you could do both, but if you're soft-shell, right, you can go to the surgeon and just add layers. Add layers. And then as a, you know what I mean, a regular crab. Hard-shell crab.

Starting point is 00:07:20 Don't say regular, you can. Oh, as a hard-shell crab. As a regular, oh, hard, what is it as a hard shell crap Regular hard what is a hard shell as a hard sell That I think that's a painful operation it take off the skin right well You're also removing or you could talk you could talk some of the you could talk some of the hardness You don't have to pull it off right it's a choice can I ask you another question please do they have penises in vaginas Do crabs have penises and vaginas? I know I know I know I know I think the reason why this podcast is so low. Yeah, it's because of me. What are you talking about?

Starting point is 00:07:53 I always go because these are things that I question in my own mind. This is a fine thought. This is a first of all this is science and biology science right now. Oh My gosh, we like pulled up a study. No, you can't pull up a study You got to pull up something a little bit simpler than that a okay By the way pubic lice popped up. I knew a guy in college that had pubic lice. What is it? It's lice in your pubes. You know what lice is like little I know what lice is and he got pubic lice But why do they call it pubic? I mean, he's just a traveler No, yeah, the lice just went from the head to the pubic. You got a changes name

Starting point is 00:08:28 He's just like a Magellan slice bunny. He's a traveler. What about but hair lights exactly my point is it's all lies Don't discriminate all lights lives matter Yeah, that's what I'm saying the lights right usually resides on one's head And if they're a voyager and they're like the lower craft of it, you know what it is. They're Jewish likes because they like the curly hair. They're sick of this here, they go, let's get curly.

Starting point is 00:08:52 And then they go down there and they go, this is our land. That's right. If they, and they build a wall, they go, little crabs and warts or whatever, they're like, this is our land, it's our holy land. And there is a small population of lights, they're not, there's only a small percentage left.

Starting point is 00:09:06 Yeah. And then the fucking little crabs, right, are in the fucking strip. Yeah, they're in the strip. Which is the taint. Right. Right, right, right. We don't want to be one of the strip.

Starting point is 00:09:17 Ha, ha, ha. Zoom in, we do religious, we do religious humor here. We do, under the flap of the male. They have two penises Bob No Left and his arms. No, it says he has a left and a right penis. Whoa, dude Oh, fuck he cuz imagine if you get to choose what dick you were gonna use that day But here was the deal one of your dicks was super long but very skinny and the other one was really thick but very short

Starting point is 00:09:45 Liz have you ever had a mic? Like, no, I'm never seen a mic. Never seen a mic. Are you gonna make a voice? Do you have a boyfriend? I have a husband. You're married. So what does a penis lie?

Starting point is 00:09:56 No, I'm not gonna say that. I bet it's great. I'm never seen a mic. You can just lie. It's very large and then we're gonna move on. Yeah, we're gonna move on. You can just lie. By you saying, oh, saying oh my god say that means micro penis just so there's no

Starting point is 00:10:10 like this to reo as a small micro penis you've never seen one but having a year of girlfriend seen one yeah they said um one time she like put her hand over it yeah and she's jacking him off and it wouldn't even like peak through Yeah, so she kind of have to do this if it wasn't a wreck then that might happen Yeah, but what if she had a huge hand, you know, yeah, this could have been a WN The giant female The girl that got locked up in Russia. What was her name the WNBA player? Please not let no She could be right her. Yeah. Let's let Lensy. Lindsay Griner. Griner Griner.

Starting point is 00:10:47 What's her name? Why can't I think her name? Brittany Griner. Yes. She's got probably hands to that would make anybody's penis dwarf. She's huge. She's in China, right? No, she was in Russia. She got arrested over there. I think. But you imagine a WNB, like I saw Kevin Hart just posted a photo of him with a a famous athlete who's 64 this girl You know, and it was like shout out to short Kings everywhere and he didn't even come up to like her waist And I thought can you imagine like what if you you Bobby Lee? What if you fell in love with like a 6 4 6 5 check She matched with a girl on Raya that's 6 1. That's me. Okay. No, no, I'm saying it's me. I'm that girl.

Starting point is 00:11:25 I was pretending. It was, that was you. I matched you. Oh fuck. I swiped, yes. Yeah, I swiped. I swiped, yes. But she was 6'1 and I was just like, and I think we, I didn't pursue it because I thought

Starting point is 00:11:37 maybe what? I think in bed, I'd be fine with it, but publicly, I just can't, like bring her into the comedy store. Well, what if she would put you on her back all the time wherever you go? She goes up up, up up, up up, up up, up up, up up, up up, up up, up up, up up, up up, like a little trick. You guys can do tricks at the beach, like those people that do tumbling and stuff. Yeah. Up up, because one time he and Sarah, you know, Cassero was five. Ten. Ten. She's pretty tall. Yeah, and we were at in Hawaii. We were holding

Starting point is 00:12:02 hands on the beach and a bunch of jocks walk by us and they go, he paid for her. Well, in a sense. No. In a hurt, it really broke me. In a sense though. Okay, stop, okay. I'll go there.

Starting point is 00:12:17 No, no, no, no. I will go there, but I just need time to get in there. But in a sense. It's a scary door. In a sense. All right, so I'm in a haunted mansion. That's what this is, all sense. It's a scary door. In a sense. All right, so I'm in a haunted mansion. That's what this is. All right, I see the scary door.

Starting point is 00:12:28 There it is. I'm creeping up to it. Ooh. I open it up, right? And then here we go. Here we go. So what the fuck do you mean? What the fuck do you mean?

Starting point is 00:12:40 In a sense. In a sense. Most friends, you like somebody. What sense. Most friends you lightly somebody, what? Most time when you date somebody, me specifically or anybody. A lot of men, but you definitely are paying for a high majority of the stuff. So you're kind of paying for them. But that's chivalry. Some would say, but what what with what other say. I'm with other say. It's Cuckery, perhaps. Cuckery.

Starting point is 00:13:08 It's Cuckery. It's Cuckery, perhaps. See, I make the women always pay. Every girl I've ever dated, I've never paid for one thing. So you're telling me? I say you pay for the meals, you pay for the rent. I'm not paying for nothing. Because people, you know, when people see online,

Starting point is 00:13:21 like Kalaila or Sarah's only going out with Bobby Lee because he has money. First of all, I don't have that much money. And secondly, I have okay money. I think you're fine. But secondly, dude, it's like really, because you know what I'm a nightmare. You know, you know that I'm a nightmare.

Starting point is 00:13:40 Yeah, you know my life, right? You know the smells? Yes. My sleeping habits, my eating, everything is a fucking nightmare, right? Yeah, you know the smells? Yes. My sleeping habits? Yes. My eating, everything is a fucking nightmare, right? You know what, Kierze? What?

Starting point is 00:13:49 Pussy. Don't think, don't think. And by my point, this is a woman would have to endure all of my behaviors, and that means that they love me. They do love you, but you do have to pay for everything. You're right. You're right.

Starting point is 00:14:04 You're right, you pay. Do you split stuff with your husband, Liz? No, he pays. to pay for everything. You're right. You're right, you pay. Do you split stuff with your husband, Liz? No, he pays. He pays for everything. So in a sense, he's like me. The jocks would walk by and go, they'd see her and see her husband, and go, he paid for that.

Starting point is 00:14:18 Yeah. But they're not wrong. You have a day implied that she was a prostitute, and that I pay like an escort. No. No. But I know that you and your wife, You have a day implied that she was a prostitute and that I pay But I know that you and your wife you pay for everything. Yeah, yeah, you're the same if a guy walked by and saw her and saw me and goes He paid for her. I think they said it because Because at that time Sarah was a beautiful. She's still beautiful But do you think they think she was out of your league is what you're saying?

Starting point is 00:14:45 That's what they're saying. And people think that. And I always think like, but. That's not true. Like look, of the girls that you've been dating in your recent life, I think you deserve all of them. And they're all, Now, but back then I wasn't doing well.

Starting point is 00:14:56 You mean physically? No, just in terms of my Chris, and no one really knew who I was. But that doesn't matter. I think looks wise is what we're talking about. Oh, you think so? Out of your league means physically when people look at each other, they go,

Starting point is 00:15:06 she's out of his, like Andreas's wife is out of his league. That's true. And I mean that, and I'm not even going to joke on the show. Yeah, yeah. It's fucking unreal. Yeah. And she pays for everything, huh? And she pays for everything.

Starting point is 00:15:18 Yeah, which makes me question her. What's really going on? Yeah. Is she on witness protection program? What is this sort of program for like data fucking weird. Yeah. Well, foreign read. You know what it is. I think it's a rehabilitation. She murdered someone when she was young.

Starting point is 00:15:30 And they're like, well, let you back in a society. You have to take in a foreigner who's kind of like a Oh, yeah, he says who La La when he comes. But Liz, you're 24 and you've been married for how long? Did we know that you were married? No, no one asked that last time. But wait a minute. You're married for how long? I'm about to go five years in August this month. So you got married when you were 19 19. What does he do? He does insurance. How old is he? He's 58

Starting point is 00:15:57 He's 24 to I'm actually five days older than him. You met you met a church. No, we men high school High school. So, high school. So easy. Is he the only guy you've been with? Um, sexually. Yeah. Yeah. That's also that's also that's also two personal. Yes. Yeah, it is. No, it's on her. It's her call. It's whatever she wants to answer. Yeah, I'm proud to say that. Okay. That's all you're proud to say. That's amazing. Yeah, I love it. I love it. Now, did you guys, this is interesting. Now, you planned, because a lot of people lose their virginity., because a lot of people lose their virginity.

Starting point is 00:16:26 No, a lot of people lose their virginity in lame ways, right? Like people like, I wish that didn't happen that way. I feel like a lot of women go, Asker Fritz, he's white. He is white, right? No. What? What kind, what kind?

Starting point is 00:16:38 Asker, what kind? What kind, is he? Wait, let me guess. He's Chinese. Nope. Let me guess, the best kind. He's Korean. Korean. He's me guess he's Chinese nope Let me guess the best kind he's Korean Korean He's Japanese hard. No, he's Japanese No, he's Taiwanese not a plane. I know it's getting right now. Just tell us what it's here

Starting point is 00:16:54 It could be a million things does he have yeah, yeah, dirty knees. He's a Mexican. Oh Wow, oh Oh wow. Oh, we, what a loophole. What was it? It was like M-Night's level on, you mean? That's pain and sweat. That was insane. That really was the ending.

Starting point is 00:17:08 I knew that was gonna happen. I knew the ending would turn out. Well, M-Night, that was good. She opened the door and I thought, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don it must be very great. No, your parents are disappointed. Yeah, a little bit. We're both from Arizona. Yeah, every son now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. So you met this guy in high school

Starting point is 00:17:34 and you date the entire time you were together in high school? No, we did not. We met freshman year. And then he made it very clear to me that he wanted to date me. And I didn't date him. And then the last year of senior year, I was like, he's really cool. And I took him out to homecoming and he never went and I always go every year

Starting point is 00:17:52 and we kind of just kicked it off from there. That's wonderful. That's wild. And then right after high school, you say, well, let's get married. Like a year after my college, my first year of college, yeah. We were like, let's get married.

Starting point is 00:18:03 We got married. Wow. Wow. Is there a baby coming? No, baby. Don't want babies either. You guys don't want them. Both of you. No, not anytime soon. Maybe late 30s or something like that. Yeah, what is wrong with me? Because it's like, you know, I just, that wasn't even in my thinking. At her age. Getting married? Yeah. Well, it wasn't even an option.

Starting point is 00:18:23 Well, there's a bunch of stuff going on right now. First of all, you were smoking crack at that whole year like. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, crack is better than marriage. Married, yeah. Also, yeah. You want to keep from getting cracked?

Starting point is 00:18:34 Have you ever had crack? Way better than marriage. Never. And there's almost no difference, by the way, they're pretty similar. No, can you imagine though? I can't imagine it. I had no money.

Starting point is 00:18:44 Yeah, why would you want to get into it? Yeah, and then I will no one wanted to fuck me anyway I Think that's the first back rock the first problem was the rock loved you. Oh, yeah, I fuck crack Yeah, I fuck crack, but in terms of female version the females They didn't want to go out with me. So there was no option in that way, but it's all even if I did date somebody There's just no way I had no money. I had no, I was like, I had to figure out financial and all that stuff for her.

Starting point is 00:19:09 Yeah. Well, your parents are rich? No. His parents are rich? No, not at all either. Wow. So you guys are you guys struggling or do you know what? What was the wedding tough? We had a civil wedding and then his mom wanted to have

Starting point is 00:19:22 a backyard wedding to invite. Yeah, you said she was Mexican. Yeah. Oh, back here. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you went in the front yard. Sometimes a tie.

Starting point is 00:19:31 Front yard wedding. I've seen those before. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, congratulations. That is awesome. Amazing. Now, what was in the piñata that you broke during the wedding? There are some like lollipops, little strawberry and chocolate pudding.

Starting point is 00:19:46 None of the candy that the rapper melts in your mouth for you or not. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, invited because we didn't know you then but would you have invited us like now that you know us would you invite us a freaking course? I would invite you would you wouldn't go no we wouldn't go what would you would you let us would you let Bobby and I Efficient the wedding That would be fucking amazing. Yeah, that would be an we should officiate weddings Yeah, and also I've never seen an wedding where you know how it does it you know how they add the priest preacher Ask is a priest or whatever. Okay. it gives a shit. Who gives a shit? And they ask, is there anybody in the audience that,

Starting point is 00:20:29 if there anybody, wait, it says, if anybody, if anybody objects to this, say, please speak now or forever hold your piece. Yeah, but how come nobody says anything? I always want to say something. What would you say? I don't like it. And how about this? Here it is.

Starting point is 00:20:45 Yeah. If anybody, if anyone, me, me, me, me, this is a great sketch. He never even gets to finish it. Yeah, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, by the way, I'm gonna marry Kali-Len, a new husband. Yeah. If anyone objects in here to these two being lawfully married, speak now for ever hold your peace.

Starting point is 00:21:29 I will go right here. Yes, oh yes, sir. And everyone will go. I have a question to Kali-Len. Everyone will go. Yeah. Hey Kali-Len, I have a question. Yes, what's up?

Starting point is 00:21:37 Who do you think I should use as my next host for Tiger Belly? Oh, I hate it. Because obviously this is done. Right? And then you would say, what? Yeah, I was, Steph told her, I mean, I'm a list. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:21:54 I mean, I mean, you know what I mean? Because this is definitely a betrayal. All right, this is real. What if she does? What if she does get married? She will. In the next couple of years. I don't think so.

Starting point is 00:22:04 What if? Would you allow it? Or would you protest the marriage? Would you she well in the next couple of years. I don't think so what if Would you allow it or would you protest the marriage? Would you stand outside on the steps because you know I'll be on brothers and arms of you. I'll do whatever you want I would know I mean you want the honest truth and not comedy version. I like comedy more than anything No, give me give me whatever you want. Oh, so what's the question? What's the question it will hurt in two years it would hurt three years if she said it would hurt. It would hurt. It would hurt. It would hurt. It would hurt.

Starting point is 00:22:27 But would you go? I have to go. You have to go. I have to go. I don't think you have to go. I still do things with the family that I don't want to do by doing anyway. Right. Because it's a part of my family.

Starting point is 00:22:39 It's a part of my family. It is a part of your family. Yeah, so it's like, like, I'm going to go to Hawaii next week. Do I want to go? I don't really. Not really. But I'm going to gonna go because they're gonna be there and I want to participate That's not what she said. What did she say said that you ask to go? You know Andreas At times you do at times do I have no idea who's team you're on

Starting point is 00:23:04 Ever since he got neutralized. No, no. Once he got his citizenship, this guy's acted like a fucking dickhead. You know, you know, for me is as a producer, I would go where the money is. Yeah. And I would go where the numbers are. That's right. But not this guy.

Starting point is 00:23:18 Uh-uh. He doesn't want to make a living. Nope. Right. And you want to play fire, it is. You're right. And guess what happened? You get burned? You get burned. You want to play fire, did you? You're right. Guess what happened? You get burned?

Starting point is 00:23:27 You get burned. You suck at bitch. Yeah. So, anyway, those loud shirts aren't going to save you this time. So, what happened? Would you hear that she forced you to go? Very good boy. Very good boy.

Starting point is 00:23:37 Very good boy. Now you're learning. Very good. Hair story. You guys, you know, I look forward to taking showers because I get to use the new wash, the new wash. And I get to use this head scrubber, and I put it on my head, and I scrub scrub scrub, it feels so good.

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Starting point is 00:25:19 That's right. There's an easier way to do it. What is it? Zockdock. Because most of the time, when you take a suggestion from someone else, the doctor's like, we don't take your insurance or they're not available for four or five months for you. Exactly. It's a nightmare. Yeah. And with Zock-Dock, that cuts out all of that nonsense. It's a place to find and book

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Starting point is 00:26:55 The truth is this okay is is that First of all In order for it to get married I she would really have to fall in love because she's much like me Right, it takes a little it takes it's a long journey to her heart. Yeah, and if some guys It was gonna be able to weather the mountainous regions, right and the valleys You know me and swim the oceans to her heart Then I would obviously support it right, you know, man unless it was unless it was um If it was somebody what if it was someone we know

Starting point is 00:27:26 That's what I'm saying if it was a guy that I know and I feel like there's some sort of like trickery like Ian Edwards like it Hmm that could happen. Yeah, cuz he's good looking. He's cool. He's like he smooth She was so funny and she saw Ian from far away and she goes is that Ian? She goes oh my god say hi and she ran, is that Ian? I go, yeah. She goes, oh, I'm gonna go say hi. And she ran over and then she also hugged Jamar neighbors. Well, well.

Starting point is 00:27:52 What, you think they poke? I think they thought about it. Yeah, Jamar is jacked. Yeah, so if it was either Ian or Jamar, I would be fine with it. Marriage? Yeah. Oh.

Starting point is 00:28:04 Because it'll never happen. I got to tell you. I know you would handle. If you're in your wife, yeah, you get to divorce. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. Would you support our marriage? You to my wife. As a punishment. As a punishment. For her. What I would would you end the bad friends? No See that's how deep we run yeah, okay, that's how deep we run it, but also I would know that not only What I do I've never seen you do this Mafia yeah, so yeah, So what would I not only doing? No, I wouldn't have to give a bad dime on my money. I would then start thinking more. Yeah. Yeah. If you started boning my ex-wife, I would just never even consider it. No, that's insane. That's insane. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:56 Advise versa. Yeah. Thank you. Advise versa. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. What did you try to start the show with? You try to get jammed something down our throats? What was it at the beginning? There was a couple in Spain that had just a baby. And the guy discovered Of course, what did you try to start the show with? You try to get jams of the down our throats. What was it at the beginning? There was a couple in Spain that had just a baby. And the guy discovered that the baby's a little person. And the guy is not a little person. So the, and the woman had a vatula party.

Starting point is 00:29:18 What a higher little person to party with them. And obviously, she fucked the little person. Whoa, let me ask you, oh you a way before you even Google it. All right. I just have to ask a question about little people. Please, man, you're a doctor and a scientist. Yes, yes, yes. And if you guys can educate me, right?

Starting point is 00:29:38 So can two full size full size, I think you can. Can two candy bars get to punch ice? Yeah, can they make a twin bed? My point is, is that yeah, can they, can two full size, and even if in the history of their genetics, there's no little people. I actually think. You think that can happen?

Starting point is 00:29:59 No, no, no, I think it needs to be in the blood somewhere. Also, like if the great, great uncle was a little guy. It's gotta be in the blood. It's gotta be in the blood. Are you sure? I'm almost positive. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:11 Yeah. We can always call the source. Oh my goodness. Oh, call the little man. Yeah. The little guy we know. You know, imagine if I called him and even the phone ring, it was like,

Starting point is 00:30:23 Sorry, I missed you. Oh, come on. But look, look at this. Most occurrences of dwarfism result from a random genetic mutation, either the father sperm or the mother's egg, rather from either parents complete genetic makeup. So it can just happen.

Starting point is 00:30:36 Oh, interesting. So it can just happen. So this in this situation, are you sure it's the little guy? Well, read the article, because the article looked pretty damning. Okay, go ahead look at this this says Bride to be becomes pregnant after having sex with dwarf stripper on hand night. That's what they call you know

Starting point is 00:30:52 They call a hen and stagging and a husband only realizes when she gives birth. Wow What do you do? What do you do? What do you do your wife your wife? I would talk first. I'll get revenge. I would go to the shocker. I Don't know what the tickets are in Middle Earth. It's gotta be expensive. Yeah, and then I go, hey, do you guys have any like chip and daily hobbits? Well, whatever, running around here, is it? You're talking about Elliott.

Starting point is 00:31:16 Yeah, I go to Elliott. He's up the hill doing push-ups. And those doors, you know, I mean, they're circular. Yeah, they're low to the ground. Yeah, yeah, they're circular doors, you know, I mean, not, not, not, not right. For you to get in, you gotta do like the sonic ball. You know when he ducks down, he's like,

Starting point is 00:31:28 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I would just have a little discussion with him. Just chat. I mean, he would, first of all, bring out the bread and the butter. He loved it, right? He had loved the food. So he would bring out, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:31:42 He's like, here's your loaf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know, I'll probably get some sort of like kombucha out of a barrel. Oh yeah. Because he loved the ferment love ferment stuff. Yeah, right. And, you know, maybe I'll change my voice too.

Starting point is 00:31:54 Yeah, because you're there, you have to change your voice. Get to his level. So hey, buddy, you were at my fiance's, you know, bachelor at party. What went on, buddy? Yeah, fuck the shit out of her. All right, bye. That's really?

Starting point is 00:32:07 Cookies? Yeah. Fresh baked. Yeah, yeah. This is so much. We're so in trouble. No, but you know what, can we put that off? First of all, we're friends with many of them.

Starting point is 00:32:17 Little people. Yeah, we love them. No wiki, Brad William, homies, and they know how to joke around. Yeah. So get out of here with us. Tonya Lee Davis, I know. Yeah, they're home. These people are home. We man. Who else honestly?

Starting point is 00:32:29 I Don't know how I would feel if on the bachelor rep party She gets pregnant with this range like that would shatter your whole world Yeah, I had the bachelor rep party. Yeah, that would shatter my world. It's a so on the nose You fucked a stripper at the Bachelor at party. Yeah. It's gotta be the other way. You know how many guys I bet you hook up

Starting point is 00:32:49 with some random Check it a Bachelor at party and they knock them up. I bet you that happens all the time. Yeah. All the time. What would you do? I mean, it's just, like you just leave immediately. I mean, you go right.

Starting point is 00:33:01 You're healing the baby. You look at it. Do you just drop it? I mean, what happened? Oh! Do you? I mean, I would just put it in. You're healing the baby. You look at it. Do you just drop it? I mean what? I would just I would put it down. Dr. Scalpel. Yeah, yeah. No, no, we're gonna trouble for that Oh, I'm kidding. I know you're kidding. I know I give it right back to her. I go. Oh, okay, and then leave that's it Well, you wouldn't use both of them. Just one hand You go. Oh, here you go

Starting point is 00:33:22 I would leave him. I'm sticking on her shoulder. Would you stick around, fancy? What if the baby that you just had came out and you obviously was not your baby? I know what you do. What would you do? He's like, I'm willing to raise the baby as my own. She's like, it's not yours. And she's adamant about it.

Starting point is 00:33:37 She's like, it's not. I got fucking plowed. Whoa. She's like, I went to a sex party and I got destroyed by five Mexican men, not Spanish, because you know that would cut to his core. Yeah. I would have to be the bigger man and accept the baby.

Starting point is 00:33:53 You would. No fucking way. No fucking way, right? No fucking way. No fucking way. No fucking way. No fucking way. No fucking way.

Starting point is 00:34:02 No fucking way. No fucking way. But you know what I would do? I'd go find the guy and I'd be like, you got to fucking take care of this kid with her. This is your kid. No fucking why. But you know what I would do? I'd go find the guy. And I'd be like, you got to fucking take care of this kid with her. This is your kid. What do you think? Nah, man. I go, I'm doing shit. I go, okay, well then you then you then you've ruined the life. So be it dog. I don't know why he's like. And then I'd be like, you're pretty cool. Yeah. You want to hang out? Yeah, man. And then I'd be friend the kid. I'd. Oh yeah? You want to hang out? Yeah, man. And then I'd be friend the kid.

Starting point is 00:34:26 I'd be friend him more. I don't talk to my wife and my baby. And then you move in with him. And I just start a relationship. And then she has to raise the baby on her own. That's a good revenge. That's a good revenge. Wow, that's the best revenge.

Starting point is 00:34:36 Yeah, him and I are homies. Yeah, you're fun to love. You got it. You know me? Yeah. And then there's a court battle you're trying to get the baby back. So that me and him can raise it together. Leave her out of it. Amazing. That's ice cold. That's actually very cool the best revenge Yeah, and we could do it in a place of California. We're like we're a new gay couple right this woman is she is spontaneous

Starting point is 00:34:54 She's irresponsible. Yeah him and I we want to raise this child together together. Yeah, she's out That's a good movie. That is a great fucking movie right? That is great I think I think that's I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry. I think that's it. I think Santa already did it. Oh, they did. Oh. Yeah, imagine your kid comes out and it's not yours.

Starting point is 00:35:13 By the way, this does happen a lot. Yeah. This happens all the time. And it's not your kid. Tell me before the nine fucking months, that's crazy. If you think it might not be my kid, wouldn't you fucking tell me? You'd wait till it comes out?

Starting point is 00:35:28 Yeah, and also think about this. That's why mythology is right. Yeah, because then what if like mythological creatures were like in our world? So then you would definitely know, it's a minotaur. It's a minotaur. Look at this. Look at this.

Starting point is 00:35:44 The face is a full blown bowl. There's a bowl, right's a minute. Look at the face. Look at the face. The face is a full blown bowl. There's a bowl, right? And there's no way to deny it. With the dwarf, right? You said it could happen. It could, it's possible. But if literally the baby comes out

Starting point is 00:35:56 and it's got like a fish tail, when you weren't fucking, when you weren't on that boat with your friends, you fucked a mermaid, didn't you? You know what I mean? There's no way to get out of it. No, they know. I wish mythology was cool.

Starting point is 00:36:10 Was real. Real, I mean, real. It is cool, yeah. I do wish it was real. I wish we were amongst eight. Why don't they let the aliens out? You'd be great, Minotaur. No, no, you would be.

Starting point is 00:36:20 No, Centaur. A Centaur, you'd be a good Centaur. What would you be? What do you think? You'd be a little, a cherub. centaur you'd be good cent on what would you be? What do you think you'd be a little a cherub? What a cherub look like look a little a little tiny cherub. Yeah, this is a hundred percent you You're if I could pick anything you're a cherub. That's Bobby Lee Thank you I have a fucking cherub for you the most cherub you do I know yeah, look at that You're a little look look look look do, I know. Yeah, look at that. Look at the wings. Look, look, look, look.

Starting point is 00:36:45 Look, look, look. You know what, you know what, Cherub? Ha, ha, think and they eat and they're cute and their little butts are always out. That's right. Their little butts are always out. Right. That's me and you. That's us, dude. Oh my God, dude.

Starting point is 00:37:13 Oh my God, dude. Somebody has to make a t-shirt or art with you as a center and me as a chair. Dude, that is 100% us. That's us, dude. That's bad for everybody. That is bad for everybody. I would ride you run all around town.

Starting point is 00:37:25 All around town. All around town. And where do you want to go? We'd wait again, but you know, the more whoever's around. You know what would happen if this is you and I. What? We'd be traveling through the land.

Starting point is 00:37:33 And at some point, I'd be talking, talking, talking to her around. You're sleeping. You're not awake. You're just snoozing on my stomach. Oh, snap. Cherub's sleep. I know a lot.

Starting point is 00:37:42 We love haps. But I can't look. I can't really turn all the way around. And like, it's actually a different phrase. So I can't tell if you're looking at it. But that's why do it your man. Yeah, no you can't You hide behind my head. Yeah, yeah, that's amazing. By the way, I want to a museum Where are they going? Where wherever the fuck they want? No, but they're going somewhere look at that look at the look at the fucking Centaur's body line. Can you pinch and zoom on that so I can see yeah, yeah, let's zoom in up there Oh, I know what's going on. Hey, she's looking at him.

Starting point is 00:38:06 Wait a minute. I've got my hands behind my back. Oh, we're playing cops and robbers. No, no. What happened? They're fucking. Now, what? Look at my look, my dick's not even a wreck. You can see it. No, I know, but look at. Well, first of all, number one, you're about to, oh, you're about to pull my hair. We know where our center's butthole is. You're right. It could be mid back. So wait a Oh, you're about to pull my hair. We know where a centaur's butthole is. You're right, it could be mid back.

Starting point is 00:38:26 That's what I'm saying. So wait a minute, you're about to pull my hair. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's sexual, it is. It's so sexual. And you're like, put your hands behind your back, bitch. And I did. Wow, yes sir.

Starting point is 00:38:36 What a big dick on that centaur, huh? Huge, huge. Well, it is a horse. Yeah, but half man half horse. So what if you got a man dick with a horse bottom? Oh, that would be fucking crazy. That would be such a big horse balls, but a small one. Or what about this even better yet, right?

Starting point is 00:38:52 What if you full regular bottom half horse, right? But you're a dwarf. So you're just kind of sticking out. You're just kind of sticking out. Like they're like, look at the fucking headless. Look at that. That's the sword. Oh, no, that's a fucking dwarf that Or even vice versa, right? Yeah, what if you had the bottom half of a dwarf and you're a fucking meadow

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Starting point is 00:42:14 and plants for many lifestyles. It's no wonder why hello fresh is a memory of a number one meal kit. Let me tell you something, I do love hello fresh so much. I love cooking these meals. They are so delicious. They're so hearty and it's great for one or two people. You can eat them alone. You can eat them with a friend, a lover, a neighbor, a buddy, your dog.

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Starting point is 00:42:57 naked men because the women, the women's bodies are always pretty shit. They're in a look. They're just pudgy, lumpy, and they don't really like, but with the men, they always sculpt the muscles, even if they weren't that mussely, they sculpt them like they were all in perfect shape. Also, there was no photographs back then, so they had to have a guy to stand there and model it.

Starting point is 00:43:17 With his dick out. Yeah. I know. For like three weeks. Just like that. Yeah, just. Hurry dude. Like what do you do? Oh, that's a fine. That's David. That's oh David's hot

Starting point is 00:43:30 Little dick, but still that was the biggest trick about seeing that live What do you mean? Seeing Michelangelo's David in person. Oh in person. It's weird because he it is a like a comically small penis It's almost like he was taking a shot at him. Like imagine if he did your body and you're like, what about the dick and he's like, dick is last, dick is last. And you're like, oh, oh, really? Okay, great.

Starting point is 00:43:53 Like you see this, you see this and then you go, can I see it and he's like, no, no, no, I will come back. And then you get into there and then zoom in. That's what he does of you. And the last day David brings more marble. Like he just comes with a bunch of marbles. It's like, all right, can you do the dick now? I brought the does of you. And the last day David brings more marble. Like he just comes with a bunch of marbles. Like, all right, just can you do the dick now? I brought the more for you.

Starting point is 00:44:09 No, no, it's a complete. It's a complete. How do you show it? No, I am a sure. But look at, I mean, look at how buffy he's jacked. Jacked. And you could have given him, I mean, the balls are so much bigger than the weener. Yeah, zoom in on just the penis.

Starting point is 00:44:27 But like, that's what all the statues look like at the museum I just went to. It's a bummer. It's like just making a little biggest hands. Look at his hands. Look at how big his fucking hands are. Also, can I just say that? Didn't have man scaped back in. No.

Starting point is 00:44:38 Look at that bush. Look at that bush. It's like a comedy get this guy, the lawn mower, three point. Yeah, look at that thing, man. I a comedy get this guy, the lawnmower 3.0 already. Look at that thing man. I mean, it is incredible that you think he would go back to him and be like, Mikhail Angelou, please.

Starting point is 00:44:52 Please. This would be fermented cemented in history forever, please. Make it just a little bit to be able. That's so funny. You're right, there is nothing. Of course there was a conversation. I would rather if I was sculpted like this, but then I'd rather them do no,

Starting point is 00:45:08 because some of them, they do no dicks. They just do no dicks. Much rather no dicks than accurate dick. Oh, you know what I would do? If I was Michelangelo. Not Michelangelo, who's the, who's the, David? David, yeah. When they're showing it, right?

Starting point is 00:45:19 When you know they reveal it, there's a ruffle, right? A revealing line. The sheet comes down. And the sheet comes down, right? But if I was David, I would just walk around naked This is a kind of the accurate we ran out the Model is a shortage right now. That's what I do. That's so funny to walk around you around your own set

Starting point is 00:45:40 Just to prove it. Yeah, so the people just spread it around. I don't look, you know, I don't look like it is. Are you calling out to women? You like, shuddy, shuddy, tell him I ordered my dick is a nice. I am a girl. What about the show? Yeah. That's so funny. That's so funny. So where'd you see that at the museum here in LA? I went to the, I went to, obviously, I didn't see that. I saw that when I was over there. I just went to France. I went to a museum. That obviously I didn't see that I saw that when I was over there. I just went to a museum Italy Italy. Yeah, I went to a museum here called the Huntington Gardens

Starting point is 00:46:11 Maybe one of the most honestly dude beautiful fucking piece of land in Pasadena and it's Stunning how much cool shit that they fucking have but it's endlessly beautiful. They've got a beautiful Wow, you can walk around this huge piece of property. It's stunning, dude. It's just, you know, it makes me feel multiple things. One, how the fuck did these people have this kind of money? Yeah. Because they own, this must have been four acres of land.

Starting point is 00:46:35 Five acres of land. Look beautiful. At least, maybe more. I'm probably underestimating. But they had a Chinese garden. They had a Japanese. They had the Lili pad garden. But can I say something though?

Starting point is 00:46:44 I saw so much cool art there when you see the art though. Yeah. Are you like me? I don't look at the art. You look at the people looking at the. No. I look at the building to see how I would be able to steal it. Yeah, I think about that all the time. Do you think about that all the time? Like what I would do.

Starting point is 00:46:59 Well, or I think about I think about what's the easiest way to to steal. Right. What could I get away with? Yeah. No, none of that. They had a civil war letter from the civil war. I think about what's the easiest way to to steal right what could I get away with yeah None of it. They had a civil war letter from the civil war Yeah, and it was like barely encased and I was like whoa How much is that what's it worth? Yeah, a couple hundred grand Not a civil war letter. Oh an original letter from the civil civil war who signed it some fucking Jack who if it's Abe Lincoln Duke him up Chang if it was do our old friend duke He signed it. Yeah, no, I mean it wasn't Lincoln, but like though hardly a lot of these letters are are still around

Starting point is 00:47:35 Yeah, just Google. Oh, what is that? It's a fucking civil war letter for sale. How much? 200 bucks Yeah, there's no way that's expensive. $200. Yeah. I'm talking more than Lisa, man. Wow. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:50 I'm talking about it. Click on that. There's no fucking one. $200. That's a spot at the improv. Wait, I don't believe that. Yeah, yeah. I don't believe it.

Starting point is 00:47:58 How much are those other ones? 135, 12 people watching. Here's the deal. Yeah. There's the deal. You know, this is not real. That's the other thing. They can't verify this. It's $135 for that letter.

Starting point is 00:48:07 Okay, but a Civil War letter. What if it's done by someone of nobility? That's why I asked if it was from Abe Lincoln written to, you know what I mean? Who? Robert E. Lee. Abe Lincoln to Robert E. Lee. Well, they were around the same time, right?

Starting point is 00:48:21 Yes, they were. Yeah, that's so. Click Civil War letter from A Blinken. Let's see if maybe that's what it was. And I just don't know the difference. I wonder what that would be worth. I could let me guess. Nothing less more than 50 grand. An A Blinken letter 85 K. Most are two or mine. Yeah. In yours. Okay. Why would I think it'd be so much more money? It's not like 85 K And because also if you get caught you're in prison for a while. How long do you do it a couple years?

Starting point is 00:48:50 Couple years two years two years. Yeah, but what you know what with our kind of status that did judge You'll be a bad friend's fan and and be like that's it mr. Santino. You're in deep trouble George court of journey. Don't tell me something like you're good. Yeah, you're just don't do it again Just don't do that kind of crazy shit. I mean, 85 grand. 85 grand, that's it. I cannot believe it. I thought for sure it's worth it. No.

Starting point is 00:49:09 When I was in Tampa, I went to the, um, um, Dali. Salvador Dali. Yeah. You guys went to there by myself. I took a fucking, what do you call those, uh, birdscooter? Skim kim kim. I went down there.

Starting point is 00:49:21 I paid me. I mean, I mean, me. Yeah, yeah. You know, I don't do nothing. I know. Yeah. In the heat, I went there. I thought about you yesterday in this exact same scenario.

Starting point is 00:49:32 Really? When I was at the museum, I thought, I love Bobby to come here, but he would never come to this. But I do sometimes. You do sometimes. When it comes to museums, I do. Yeah, you do.

Starting point is 00:49:40 Yeah. And I walked around and I looked at, but it's like, I can watch it, look at it for five seconds, and that's it. Salvador Dali doesn't hit you. In any art. Any art? Yeah, I can't, I look at the art, I go, okay, I got it.

Starting point is 00:49:54 No, no. What, what do you do? I have to sit in really. Your pretentious fuck. No, you do this. No, I, I, I, I, I go like this. You, I, I, you know how girls do this? I do this. No, I go like this. What? I, you know how girls do this?

Starting point is 00:50:08 I do this. Yeah, yeah. She goes like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright. What do you look for? What I like to see, like if it's like look up, um, um, you know, like, like Renoir. Or you know what?

Starting point is 00:50:22 Yeah, Renoir. Renoir. Yeah, look up Renoir. I like Renoir. Yeah. It's like if I see a Renoir, it's like at face value, right? You see something you see something pretty pretty okay like this right zoom in zoom in I would see something pretty monotonous, okay, right? Yeah, but then but then what you really get in there zoom in a little bit more Then you get in there and then you start looking at the guy in the boat and I imagine what he's saying to that man So that's what I'll start to do. I'll start to go

Starting point is 00:50:50 What's that conversation because this was taken from a real piece of life like this stupid little bitch in the front I don't give a fuck about her. Yeah, idiot. She picked these flowers and look at her mom She's pissed because there was a sign that said oh so the mom obviously dresses the kid Yeah, he doesn't be aware of flower hat. No, that's the mom. Yeah, but obviously there was a sign that said, don't pick the flowers and there's a guy now talking to the mom that's going, I told you lady for the fifth fucking time you can't pick the flowers and she's pretending not to hear him. She pretends to Oh, the lady is a Karen. Yeah, she pretends to be a Karen's back then. We'll just go pick where we want to pick. Yeah, my grandfather used to live on this lake. Oh, so you, they're scenarios.

Starting point is 00:51:23 100% that's my favorite thing to do with a fucking You know mean dolly you can't do that a melting clock Can't yell you know me at a fucking giraffe. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah You're saying if it's any sort of like hyper realism hyper real you can't do that the great I can do scenarios Okay, that does this is called zoom that zoom that zoom in that do you know what you imagine? This is called the great masterbator. I know this piece. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:47 And I gotta tell you something. Yeah. After staring at this one time at a college dorm room for a while, I saw this image in my head when I jerked off for about a month and a half. Really? I couldn't stop seeing this. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:59 Because it's called the great masterbator. Yeah. Oh, I see the head now. But some people interpret her sniffing a dick. That's what I've heard. She sniffes dick. Right. What's, okay, let me the head now, but some people interpret her sniffing a dick. That's what that's what I've heard She sniffs dick right What's okay? Let me just ask you some questions But see I do want to stare at this for longer because there's a lot going on

Starting point is 00:52:14 Like is that a horse hide is that a mohawk back there? Yeah, you're right And why is the tail on a chain? I'll go back see what I'm saying. Yeah, I'll go back You know you know you and you know you never have never done things like this. We want, I want to. I'm in the fall. Let's, let's make a list. You and I will do in the fall, in the fall museum one. Love. You know, I've never had ice cream with you. I'd love to have ice cream with you. Have we ever had ice cream? No, but can we feed each other? See, we have desserts together at dinner. We do. We don't go to our ice cream shop. No. And I would love to share a banana split with you. Get out. Are you being serious? Can we be pulled up in an anna for a mouth and just

Starting point is 00:52:55 at the same time suck the banana from both ends? Well, promise me this. Yeah. There's two bananas on each side. We work on one banana at a time. Fine. I don't be stuck on one banana, you're the second other one. I know. You get one and I get together. What else have we done together? We've never picked Nick. We've never picked Nick. Dude, you and I have never picked Nick. Why haven't we sat under a tree and ate something else?

Starting point is 00:53:17 In a basket. In a basket. I don't know why. And Carlos can serve us. Yeah. He's our little waiter. Yeah. Okay. So Carlos can do that. Okay. So

Starting point is 00:53:25 pick-nicking museum. We never shared ice cream Sunday. Do you want to fly a kite together? Dude. I would love to fly a kite. I've never flown a kite with you before it is. Why haven't we done that? Because I think that you would you'd be a competition. Look at how big my yeah. Who's kites bigger? We can't do that. We that we have to get equal fights can we play tag in a field of like sunflowers? Can I frolic I want a frolic dude. I've never frog with you actually you know what I would love to do with you I'm not kidding skinny dip at a waterfall. I'd love to skinny dip at a waterfall I would love to do that with you. Can we like fuse that in with the picnic? You kill two birds with one stone

Starting point is 00:54:05 Well, and then maybe we'll bring a painting. Let's just, yeah. You know what else I wanna do? I wanna go to a little puppy, a little puppy, a little puppy place and play with puppies together. You know what else I wanna do with you? Pottery.

Starting point is 00:54:19 Oh, dude. Who sits in back, who sits in front? Should we do it? I have to, in the back, I wouldn't get any piece of the bottle. That's the funniest part. Like I want to be able to touch the fucking motorcycle. You'd be hugging out of my hips. I know. I gotta be in the front because I want some of the vase. Correct. Right. Okay. But you can be behind me.

Starting point is 00:54:34 We've never done that before. No, and I want to do I want to I want to you I want to be have my foot on the wheel though. Right. So I can spend it the ghost you and I should remake ghost. Dude, let's remake ghost you and I did. Look at that that. Oh my gosh look at that. Look at his arm. Look at his arms He's he was so fucking sexy dude. He was the one I got turned on by that scene so much and it wasn't because of her I got to tell you she wasn't looking that good in that scene. She really wasn't yeah, what demy more wasn't she looks fine But she doesn't look like him looking how at how we can reenact this shit. Much better than they could. How can we never reenact this shit?

Starting point is 00:55:08 I really want to. You know what you know what you and I should do? A calendar with famous movie scenes? Famous movie scenes, dude. Fancy. Start it. But I want it to be, we want to get a photographer. Make it good.

Starting point is 00:55:20 To make it almost identical. That's exactly what I want. That's what I'm dead serious. I'm not kidding. I'm dead serious. It's a good Christmas gift. It's exactly what I want. That's what I'm dead serious. I'm not kidding. I'm dead serious. It's a good Christmas gift. It's a great Christmas gift. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:29 So we do it. What are some other great things? Oh, here we go. Well, ghost, okay. So ghost is yes. Yeah, yeah. We are doing a ghost. Yeah, I think we should do, um,

Starting point is 00:55:37 basic instinct. Who's, it's just one person spreading their legs. Yeah, yeah. He's got to be a two person shot. Aren't you a cinematographer? Maybe the accused. Okay. I'll be in the pinball team. I'll be a two person shot. Aren't you a cinematographer? Maybe the accused. Okay. Yeah, I'll be in the pinball team.

Starting point is 00:55:47 I'll be in the pinball. You are on the pinball team. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And all the guys can be you. We could like you and me. Oh, you know what else? What? The pulp fiction scene where I'm the cop

Starting point is 00:55:55 and your ving rames and you have the ball gag in your mouth and I'm not about to say. No, no, you're the other guy. You're persuilist. Okay, okay. So we're both gotta get one. Yeah, we're both gag. Yeah, we're both gag. That's you and me. Yeah, that's you're persuilist. Okay. Okay. Okay. So we're both got to get Yeah, we're both gags. Yeah, we're both gag that's you and me. Yeah, you and I

Starting point is 00:56:09 Do we got to do that then that's such a good shot. Yeah, and then we also get um like You know, we get what ball caps and stuff. Oh, dude. Yes We're doing like a profession. We'll get Jen Aspenal the mad TV. Yes, makeup person. She won an Emmy I want her to do it. We'll have her do it What else do we do? What are those famous two single to a shot broke back? Mountain great to shot a great to shot a broke back mountain. We got to do a broke back mountain What other scenes can we do let's name a couple more and do a couple more because just why I want to get it out of my head Yeah, let's do it. We have to do a sci-fi

Starting point is 00:56:41 One right right, but it have to be shining the twins. We can do the twins We're the twins. Yeah, that's hot. We do the twins. Yeah, we'll do the twins. I like that a lot So good all right. Well, I know we'll do a list. Oh, you know what? There's one thing I definitely wanted to show you real fast. Hold on one second. This is 1954 Look at What is that well-finder okay do you buy this or is this 1954 gobble-de-gook? No, that's really good. Look. Dude, I'm like that, but with pussy.

Starting point is 00:57:31 No, I'm like, you say, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? There should be no one around. No, no, no, no, we're real. You can be no one around. I can find it. Yeah, you can. You can't find it. Yeah, you are good like that. I have that special, yeah. You have that special thing. With pussy, yeah. You can find it anywhere it is. Yeah, yeah, you find it. Yeah, you are good. That's special. Yeah, you have that special thing.

Starting point is 00:57:45 You can find it anywhere it is. Yeah. Yeah. What is that? I don't know what it is. That's your judge. It's my shoes. That's your judge. I can smell it. I can feel it. My, my chromosomes change. Right. You start to shape shift a little bit. Right. Yeah. That's when you see good pussy. You start walking. Yeah. When body finds himself pussy in a crowd, he must topple over sometimes on his face.

Starting point is 00:58:07 So I relate to it. It's a sham. It's a such a sham, man. But how did she trick so many people into finding wells? What you do is like, where are we going? We're going to this, um, the night before. This field, yeah. And she's there all night long, right?

Starting point is 00:58:22 With a fucking stick, you know what I mean? I think this is, you know, there's something's going on I don't know man. They said 98% correct really 98% she was only wrong 2% of that doesn't make sense I know but you know some people have abilities that we you know, okay How about this you believe in the palm reader thing and all that stuff? Like you know, you see these palm readers all over Los Angeles. Do you believe in it? No. You think, oh, it's all cockamy. Tea leaves? No.

Starting point is 00:58:47 Palm reader? No. What about mind reading? No. What about, what about sayonce? Can you, do you believe people can talk to the dead? No. You don't believe that?

Starting point is 00:58:57 No. Oh, 100%. No, you don't. Double dead. You don't fucking believe that. Palm reading, no, because it's like every, that's every Armenian woman I see on Hollywood bullet. Right. But I do believe that there are certain people that have connections with the dead, the beyond that I totally believe.

Starting point is 00:59:12 Well, then that goes into like, you know, do I believe in spirits? Do I believe in an afterworld? Do I do? Do I? You do. I do. You do. I think the spirit thing scares a shit out of me. So I don't want to fucking think of it. Have you ever been alone in your house and said something to your dad or talked or thought about your dad and then a thing has happened where you're like, that's fucking weird. Have you ever had that? No.

Starting point is 00:59:36 Never. My dad? Well, and someone else that's dad in your fucking life. I've never been in contact with the spirit world in that way. But I have been led the right direction in life, right? And you think that might be their influence? It could be, I mean, I do believe that like, here's as mystical as I get.

Starting point is 00:59:57 I believe that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be right now, and I believe that there is some sort of like path. And you don't know what it is, but you're on. There's just too many things that happened in my life where I went, yeah, that's just a weird coincidence. There's no way that's a coincidence. That was like, supposed to have,

Starting point is 01:00:17 divinely divine intervention. You believe in in, in, destiny. Destiny. I do. Divine intervention. I'm supposed to be here right now. I'm supposed to be here

Starting point is 01:00:25 in this moment with you right now and everything that led up to this moment. I agree. Yeah. I believe in this. Yeah. I think you can change, you can change the little tiny elements of it. Like, it's like the path is there but you could put on a jacket sometimes. Yeah, but then I said, but you sway between the two because it's like, then you watch documentaries about World War Two and you go, oh my god, 16,000 kids died in this world. What was their destiny to die in the war? Yeah, but I don't yeah exactly, but I don't know what happened in those minute moments when they were on the field right

Starting point is 01:01:03 What do you mean? What happened? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no? And you hold him. And you, you know what I mean? And you do things for him that he needs in that moment. Maybe that was your purpose. Sure, you know what I mean? Well, you think this is- And then right when you're holding bill, you die. But then somebody, your cousin Larry, how old do you, Ann Bill? And somebody killed him.

Starting point is 01:01:37 And eventually you like, right? A guy's holding 15 dudes. At some point you killed your whole family. They're all dead. I don't know. I mean, I don They're all dead. I don't know. I mean, I don't know what happens. I don't know why these things happen, these dark things. But it's like, you know, I still believe

Starting point is 01:01:51 that there's some sort of path. There is, but I'm saying. Do you believe it? Yeah, I believe a big portion of it. But I do think that like there are, a lot of things are beyond our control, but I think we have some control. We make choices within our...

Starting point is 01:02:05 You have the choices are presented to us, and that's what life is about. But I'm saying they are presented, but I don't think they're pre-picked. I think they're presented and you kind of choose it and that helps continue on in this way. I think they're pre-picked. You think they're all pre-chosen.

Starting point is 01:02:17 Yeah, wow. Like for instance, maybe during World War II, I would have gone to Canada. You would have definitely... And be a deserter. Yeah. You desert too. No. I would have fought. No. You would have been a desert. Yeah. You would have desert too. No. I would have fought. No, you're a desert or dead. I would have left.

Starting point is 01:02:31 You and I both. Yeah, it had been you and I together. On a covered wagon. We're cowards. Yeah. Deserter. Oh yeah. He's gone.

Starting point is 01:02:40 Gone. What about Aoki? I'm a desert. Yeah, she's gone. No one here would fight. Yeah, we're cowards. We're unpayed, erratic pieces of shit. Well, it's got no one here would fight. Yeah, we're cow. We're unpatriotic pieces Shit, well, it's like you know, it's like when I see those guys the airport that are wearing the military garb Yeah, I'm always like

Starting point is 01:02:52 Thank you. Thank you. No, I'm grateful. They do I can't believe someone's got the balls But when Muhammad Ali goes remember Muhammad Ali is like yeah, I'm not gonna get drafted I'm not doing that and he could have just punched everybody but you got in trouble He didn't fight for four years because of that. I know. Right. But, you know, because of religious, because he was a Muslim. Yeah, but it's also he was a super famous. So it's kind of like he gets an exemption of like, well, we don't want this guy to die at war. He is kind of like an international icon. Yeah, but he kind of needs. He wasn't going to fight what they want. We're going to use him for was to do a

Starting point is 01:03:23 show. Well, he should have an exhibition. Should have an exhibition or something. Do a show for the boys. Yeah, but he didn't even do that. He should do a show for the boys. But it's just like hired people to kill brown people that has nothing to do with you. It depends. Well, what give you an example?

Starting point is 01:03:41 Well, Vietnam. We're two, too, because the Hollywood stars. Vietnam, we should, I mean, man, these, you know what I mean? These people, look at them. They look at them. They really did. They look like sneaky, they're not. They look like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Starting point is 01:03:51 Yeah. What is that with trails? You really love trails. These guys love trails. Yeah, yeah. They've read too many children's books about things in the woods. Yeah. They could hide up on a tree for three months.

Starting point is 01:04:02 At least with no food. With a banana and a diet coke and a... You built your own house. Yeah, the place you live now. up on a tree for three months. At least with no food, with a banana and a diet coke. You built your own house. Yeah, the place you live now is your own two hands. These hands right here. You and your husband live in the same place. Yes, you sleep in the same bed. Yes, you shared the same bathroom.

Starting point is 01:04:15 Yeah, are you in love? I'm in love. She is. She's sung young love. Yeah, I can't wait to you fall out of that. Hey, do you think it will? No, well, it'll wait to you fall out of that. Hey, you think it will know Well, it'll win it'll it'll go through

Starting point is 01:04:32 Swings because you guys met when you're so young you're gonna change so much next couple years So you'll have big changes in your life. You know he'll come out as gay I've already read your life book. He's coming out to you. You're losing your eyesight What would you do if he gets in a car accident? He's paralyzed the neck neck down. Oh, I'm staying with him a hundred percent. No matter what? No matter what? What if he's just a head? I love that head. Really? Really? A hundred and ten percent. You're wearing these fine people like this. They don't exist anymore. And Vietnam, maybe. And Vietnam, they do it. Now you're from Arizona. relax. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Phoenix greater area. All right I want to say this we go we're we are excited

Starting point is 01:05:10 For the fall. Yeah, I can't wait to get back out there and in the fall we decided Bob and I we're gonna do a picnic we're gonna do Museum and museum and also after an ice ice cream But more importantly fancy is gonna start working on this calendar that we're gonna put together so you guys can give it for Christmas gifts, right? Yep. All right, good, that's it.

Starting point is 01:05:29 Thank you for being a bad friend. Be a bad friend. Ah. Uh oh. Yeah Woo Yeah Woo Yeah Yeah

Bad Friends - Aoki's Science Corner

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