Bad Friends - benny blanco-gomez

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

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Mercy is coming to theaters January 23rd. This is the mercy court powered by artificial intelligence. Detective Raven, you're charged with the murder of your wife. I'm not guilty. You have 90 minutes. To prove it. Or you will be executed. You must use the tools.

Every camera and cell phones at your disposal. To solve the mystery. Can I see my daughter's social? Do you hear that? Someone was in my basement. Chris Pratt. Maybe she found something she wasn't supposed to. Rebecca Ferguson.

You must move from one piece of the puzzle to the next. No, I have something here. Oh my God. Mercy, rated PG-13. Maybe inappropriate for children under 13. Only in theaters, January 23rd. Hello. Hello.

Hello, mate. My. Baines on toast. We're coming to London, England and Dublin, Ireland. Right. London, England, Dublin, Ireland. July 18th and July 19th for Ireland. That's right.

18th in London, 19th in Ireland. You guys, come out and see us. Go to bad friendspod.com. Kicks are going fast. They are going very fast. Dublin's about to shell out. So, July 18th, the 19th, go to bad friendspod.com. You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots? Dude, I'm an Asian dude. You two. You two or something. We're bad friends. What is this shirt that you got in Australia? Look at Bobby got a shirt in Australia. It's a stress, dude.

You cannot fit in this. Why can't he fit in it? Dude, it's just... You're saying that I'm fat. I think you fit in that easily. Thank you, Benny. What do you talk? Do you actually think he can't fit in it?

No, dude. Put it on. A part of him again. This is... No, I think it looks exact... No, look at this. You clearly can't fit. Take that one off first.

I'm going to do it off. No. Why do you have to do it off? Do you have boobies? On, on, on, on, on. Oh, you look great. OZempic. Are you on OZempic?

He is. He is. He actually? Yeah. Why are you on OZempe? He's on the other one. The fat, baby! So you could fit in the shirt you buy.

That shirt was $9,000. No, it's got to fit. Okay, let's see. It fits. It fits perfectly. It's good. It's perfect. Wow, dude.

I like it. I like it. I'm going to work too now. Wait, are you actually on Ozempe? Yeah, yeah. Really? Not Ozempic. He's on the other one.

Manjaro. No, Wugovi. No, but I was on Ozobovie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wugo? No, there is no, you just made up Ugova. Hey, dude, we're not as successful as you. We can't afford premium brand.

What are you talking about? That shirt was $9,000. I know. It was $9. Yeah. So, Benny, the reason why, because a girl told me I was fat and I was, and she was not attracted to me when we were making out and I had to lose the way. Why do you keep going like this with your hair?

Because I'm emo, too. Okay. And you're a musician, so I'm, You just keep doing. Cool, dude. Okay. So, ma. It's really,

it's very difficult to get comfortable in this chair. That's the point of the chairs. I love those pants. Thanks. Are those, are those cowhide? No, they're,

they're, uh, there, I was shopping with my fiancee at. Ooh. What, now he's changing again. Ooh.

Ooh. Ooh. It's a continuity. No, we were just said, Oh, we go of me. Why is everyone have

to use these mics. Why can't they find a better system? This is one of the best mics in the game. You've been complaining since you've been to biddy. Yeah. Cans and the fucking. I wanted you to put on your shirt and I thought you look beautiful. Oh, you thank you so much. Wait a minute. You don't like these mics as someone who is a professional. No, I do like these mics, but I don't understand why there's not a version at this point where it's like,

we're like hands free. Well, we already are hands free. Yeah, we're like, but we're like, there's nothing in our face. We're not wearing a headphone. Like, we're just talking in a You don't have to wear headphones, but this is how we hear each other more crisp, and you can hear the levels and if we play video. I know what Benny's saying. What you're saying like a love mic or something? Or like maybe a mic here? Yeah, maybe just something. Right. Benny, what's it like having a super famous fiance? Very good question. Can you go to, wait, wait, wait, can you go to a mall? Like, can you go to the Beverly Center with her? No. You never do. Try. No, like, let's try. Well, well, you don't go to the Beverly Center. I know, I know. Well, okay, okay, here's, here's, here's what it is. She's like a home body, like her favorite thing to do. Let's not talk about a woman's body on the show. That's so...

Your wife's body is insane, man. I know I'm shaming. Yeah. No, the... Her body's like a house. It's a big burly house. She, uh, no, she just likes to chill at home. So do you, though.

Yeah, yeah, I'm like a big chill. Like, I don't want to go to like, like, we're not going to... Like, we want to, like, chill it. That's us every night. Every night I go there. Ooh, t-in-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-all. I want to, like, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to relax at home with, like, my friends and, like, drink wine and, like, you know what I'm, I feel like, I think, I think I'm just getting, no, I think I'm just getting old, like, I think I'm getting older. What are you, 35, 36? Wait, are you, are you, are you, I'm in the program. Okay, okay, okay. Are you in the program? I'm not, I'm not, but, what would you bring up? Some of my family, some of my, no, some of my family, but I just want to say, so like, I do. If I have power to.

too, dude. Okay. Okay. I don't have Selena Gomez power, but I buy my own power, dude. Okay. Okay. He has Hector Gomez, the guy that works right up. Yeah, dude. The guy we buy fruit from. He works at pep boys, dude. Okay, no, no. I'll change your tires. Go ahead. I don't even know what I was talking. Yeah, you do. Oh. Yeah, you do. Okay. When I was like, until like 31, I could drink the entire night, sleep zero. wake, go to bed at 5 a.m., wake up at 6, like, work a full day. Now I have like two drinks and I feel like hung over for three days.

Yeah. And I just can't, I can't take it. Why don't you get in the program? He's in the program, getting the program. Also, Benny, check this out on it. I'm 53. Yeah, thank you. You look so young.

Thank you, Benny. See this right here? That's a gun. Do you see it? Yeah. Right? Yeah. No, it's not a gun.

This is a gun. Okay, what's this? This hurts. Going in your ass? No, no, no. I'm just saying. I was trying to make a point that everything hurts. Oh, yeah, I should have done that.

Why didn't you just show it? You're right, you're right. You're right. You're right. Yeah, why did I do that? I don't know. That's insane. Like, are you shouldn't be like that you're like feeble and cripple at this point?

Like what I'm saying is that you get arthritis. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? And your body just breaks down. And I'm sober. And it happens. In fact, I had my three-year A birthday Saturday. And nobody.

Came. Texted me in this room. Do you know why? Why? Because you've had a lot of sober birthdays. We've got to change the date seven times. I know. Remember this trophy we gave you for kicking at the habit in 2022?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I relapsed so much. Yeah. It happens. It happens. Well, Benny is. It does.

I come from my family. He's a child of fetal alcohol syndrome. No. I'm... I can tell already tell. I can tell already. Don't I look insane. Can I clear the air?

Yeah. I look insane. I have known each other for so long and you're my dog and I love you and when you did my show and I asked about Selena the internet got so mad they thought I was picking on you

I was like we were teasing each other people are like don't be fucking mean to bed I don't read any comment The fans came at me dude My fans are not your fans First of all you're fucking wife's fans You nerd I mean when you're married to Selena You're buried? I'm engaged

Does that make your upper lip moist because your upper lip right now is so moist. Dude, he chapsdicks a lot. You do? Why? You don't, because I have to now. I have the upper lip that's moist. Dude, that's so funny.

He's right. Yeah. When you start dating someone hot and famous, you have to have moist lips. Yeah. Look at all the hot guys. They always have moist. I got to have moist.

What are I supposed to do? My lips was supposed to look like an asshole? Right, right. Like, you'd be cracked and, what are you doing? He's moistening, dude. It's not, it's not making them moist. Now you look insane. Whoa, hold on one second.

Are you, hello? Sidney, yeah. Yeah, Bobby Lee's right here. Oh, my God. Whoa. Whoa. It works, right?

Yeah, dude. Are you in a relationship? That's bullshit. I wanted that. He knows I can't, no one wants to fuck me. Shut up. What do you mean?

Nobody wants to fuck me. That's not true. Why? Because you're with Selena. I think you're so cute. Dude, okay, I'm going to say something right now and we're not going to bring it up again. I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of it too.

What is it? Because you're so love. I'm not. I'm tired of it too. Right now. Yes. Benny. Right now what I'm doing is I've talked to my therapist and I'm going to spend the next six months to a year completely alone.

Why? Because. Salibacy? Yeah. So no dating at all. Yeah. And I'll tell you why. It's just not happening.

That's not. No, no. I'm meeting people. Okay. Right. But it's just like I, you know, I want to be able to click like this guy and write on a unicorn. You deserve to be on that unicorn I like the way you did that

I can't do that because I'm stuck in a plastic chair in between a like here's my unicorn Now if I'm a unicorn right Where am I on the unicorn? Can I be honest that doesn't look a unicorn at all No no he's on Korean Unicorns are different No no no

I don't think that's the unicorn I think that's him on top of that Yeah Are your arms hurt? Is this because of arthritis? Yeah, arthritis What's wrong with your arms And why have you been out of breath like I smoke cigarette?

So you're just out of breath all the time? This fucking guy, why does everyone come out here, man? I'm not saying, I just wanted all my frailties. Okay, wait. I'm a unicorn. Where am I on the unicorn? What happened to your other arm? I'm going left.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. He's never going left, dude. He's never going right. Anyway, I'm, I'm sitting on the horn. You haven't found the wine. I'm sitting on the one. I haven't, yeah, yeah.

You deserve the one. Anyway, so go ahead. What? What's the question? This is your date. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. What's the rest of the date?

What's the rest of the fucking date? Well, it's the get to know you portion of the date. Get to know her. She's right there. Oh, really? Yes. So, um. Hi, my riot profile set to 20.

I know, but I'm assuming it's 30. Okay. Okay. So, um, hey, Kahlia. No. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. Right.

Right. Right. Would that be a good name? Mayo. Mayo? Mayo. Mayo? Hi.

Hi. Hi. Hi, Bobby. I would probably do a joke like, you like Mayo? Bobby, that wasn't fun. Bobby, can you keep going? I know, I'm drowning. I like this girl.

I'm already drowning. Bobby, can you keep going? Yeah, I'll keep going. So, Mayo, are you LA raised born? Good. Raised or born? I was born in Tallahassee. Tallahassee, New York.

No. Tennessee, New York. Yeah. Yeah, Tallahassee, New York. In Florida? Yeah. Oh, I love Florida. Oh, you do?

How long you've been in L.A.? Bobby, I get asked this on every day Oh, forget it What are your dreams? My dreams? Yeah, yeah It's getting better. Ooh, I like that.

Yeah. Well, I kind of want to be... You're not gonna make it. What? I'm not? Yeah, I don't think you're gonna make it. Why? Can I get you guys something to drink?

Oh, hi. Hi. Oh, my God, you look so high. Cut it out. Jesus. Oh, my God, are you doing your Leo face? Hey, Mayo. What, yeah?

What the fuck you're doing? Whoa. No, what you mean whoa. That's weird. Oh, I bring you on a date This red-headed fucking thunders sticker Is this guy bothering you? He might be a little.

I'll throw him out. You will? This is not how you want the date to go, sir. Yeah. Fuck you, sir. Whoa. Yeah. Fuck you.

You know what, Mayo? I'm going to grab you. Whoa. I'm going to grab you by the shoulder. Get in the car! Oh my God, dude. Right? We're going to where you deserve to go.

Shake shack. Oh, okay. Now we're in Shake Shack. That's actually cool. It does, okay, now when you're at Shake Shack, is he coming? Yeah. Of course.

Okay, okay. You guys want something to drink? Yeah, yeah. He just works. He just works. He works in every rest. Yeah. And I'm like, oh my God.

Hey. No, well, I ask about, you know, who they are. They're what they're, what they're, what they're, what I'm trying to get to is that if there's, like, if they're damaged. And you want to stay. I want to see if there's trauma, no. If there's, like, some sort of deep trauma going on, you know what I mean? If they have a dream here in L.A., you know, can they make it? If they can't make it, I don't want to do it.

How do you know? How do you know? Because I'll go on their Instagram. It took you like 40 years to make it. It takes everyone so long. You can, Benny, let me ask you something. You know, you're a producer, right? Yeah.

Right? You can hear it. If you saw a girl's Instagram and saw her singing, would you be able to, can you tell? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, she can. Danny, look at me. This is your girl's now a singer. I thought she was a boom mic.

Oh, what? I know. Made of sand. No, but what I'm saying is that can't you tell as a stand-up if a girl, if she are at the open mic level that she, she may or may not make it. You can usually tell a stand-up if they're gonna grow,

if they're gonna grow. Exactly. Usually you'll know if they're, so you want someone to grow with you. No, I just want to be able to look and she, at least she can, you know, she has the ability to make it. Okay, sure.

I don't like when people are like, I'm a good singer and then they can't and that means the delusion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want delusion. You don't want, okay. Yeah, yeah. No delusion.

I want a good family upbringing. Okay, delusion, boom, Mike. Yeah, boom, Meg. Wait, but what? Family upbringing, though. This is, I always talk about any. No, no, because my mom, my mom always says this. She always says, she's like, but, you know, before I started, you know, dating Selena,

she would always say, I want you to be with someone from a good family. And then I don't agree with that. My mom was from a shitty family. Like, my mom has a terrible parent. I don't, you don't get to choose who your parents are. Sometimes your parents are dickheads. I don't know. I don't believe, I believe that they should have like a close relationship with.

like someone in their family, but I don't think you have to be best friends with all your family. It's great if you are, it's fucking amazing. But most people's parents are divorced. Most people, you know, I don't, I don't know. Your parents aren't divorced. My parents are both are the divorced.

Oh, they are the divorced. Do you talk to your dad? I speak to my dad. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. You heard a daddy issue come out right there. Yeah, I saw it. I wouldn't date you.

I'm May-I. But I'm Mayo. You're May-No, but Mayo, check this out, okay. Yes, yes. Stop pointing at me when you talk to me. Okay. What's wrong with you? No, he has authorized.

Authorities. Yeah. Okay. If they're in a, let's say their family died in a fire. Yeah. Can I be honest with you guys? I have to go back to the kitchen. Can I get your drink order?

Because I need. No, no, no. I've been waiting here for. No, we have our order. Just give us a second. Okay. I'll wait here. Okay.

Yeah. I have like five other tables. If your parents were died in a fire. Yeah. Right. And then years later, I want to take you camping. Yeah. Right.

And I light a campfire. You might have PTSD from it. I want that. You go camping? He does. I do. You actually camp? Big camp guy.

You've never camp before. I actually did a couple months ago. No, he did. He does. And what did you think? Hated it. Oh, okay. But he doesn't.

But you want to know that if you do go camping and you light a fire, your imaginary Mayo girlfriend won't have trauma from that. Yeah, yeah. This all adds up to me. It all adds up. You guys know what I'm saying? You want to know. He's not at the date in.

He's he in my waiter. Benny. He's the waiter, Benny. He's the waiter, Benny. He just has a stay here? Yeah, yeah. I don't have a choice. Yeah.

He does tip me very well. I guess so. Yeah. Okay. What are you, some of your check mark? Okay. I had, I had a- Give me your check marks.

Okay. Okay. I did, because before, before I'm at Selena. Uh-huh. How'd you meet her? We had known, we've known each other for like 15 years. But I'm saying before we started dating, I remember, I remember being like, fuck. Like, I keep doing the same thing over and over again.

Like, I'm just dating. I'm doing this. And my therapist was like, you got to make a choice. checklist. He was like, you gotta make a list of the things you want and need. And I had a checklist. And, okay, you want to know what mine were? Super famous. Yep. Yeah. Very rich. Yep. Hispanic for some reason. Hispanic. Yeah. For a good reason. Yeah. Hot. Yep. Okay. Empathetic. Yep. Did you say pathetic? Empathetic. Oh, I was like, what the fuck? Yeah. Empathetic. Yeah. Empathetic. Yeah. And pathetic. Yep. And tinier than you. And that was all of them really what was the checklist that that was it no really well um no the checklist was uh i wanted i said 30 year over for me right 30 or older that's what i wanted at the time that's that's how i felt 30 plus i um i wanted someone who was passionate about something they

they didn't have to make money or anything just that they have a passion and they're going towards something right i like i don't care what it is like if they were like i'm i do those little paper football things and I'm the best at flicking it through the like this I would say you keep doing that babe well hey this is my dream woman I didn't get mad at you when yours was mayo made of sand okay

all right Benny this is how Koreans when they listen that's what the face they make watch any movie so true have you watched parasite we watch parasites that's everyone in parasite that's everyone in parasite thank you so much Andrew from defending my culture it is true

yeah yeah is he the waiter or see Andrew again. He's still the waiter. Andrew the waiter. Yeah, Andrew the waiter. All right, so keep going. I like, because I'm learning from you. Okay.

And I wanted someone who was, I wanted someone who was, who was kind and, like, who actually, like, like, Selena's incredible. When I wake up in the morning, I know what's going through her head. And now what's going through my head, too, is, like, how can we make, like, today, like, the best day for both of us? Like, she's thinking about me. And she's thinking, and I feel like a lot of times in relationships,

I felt like I was always giving and I wasn't getting what I wanted in return and she's so thoughtful, so caring, so compassionate. So I really wanted someone like that. I basically manifested the perfect person for me. And I wanted manifest. That's what I want to. Let's go down your realistic checklist.

What was your first date like? Our first date? Yeah. Our first day was insane. Okay. So I didn't know we were on a date. Okay. So here's what happened.

Okay. Here's what happened. we had like left we we we left the studio one day we start texting and so you're producing her album i produced i produced with her um and i have for years for years for 10 years so you guys are in the studio we're just what about this yeah yeah yeah yeah i was i was chikiket chikin yeah yeah and she's like i don't like that sound how about that bom bom bom bom bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb oh you listen i like that yeah yeah yeah yeah okay go and then you're afterwards go ahead yeah yeah okay so afterwards she texts me or no i text

her and I was like oh my god I was like uh I was like what a great set I forget what happened something and then we start texting back and forth and I'm busy that night and and and and we're just texting back and forth and yeah is there sexual when you worked with it before was there some sort of sexual tension there's never been sexual attention you never even thought about no I never thought we've always been in relationships we've always like there's there's always there's we've never even been single at the same professional mode always okay So, so we start like texting and somehow we start sending like selfies back and forth. Oh, that's how it starts.

It was like a selfie thing. Right. And you guys are giggling. There was, there was giggling, but I wasn't thinking of anything. I was just like, oh, I'm just like we're working on a song. It's cool. And then she was like, you want to get some food tomorrow. And so, okay.

So before while we were at the session, I was talking about our dating lives and I was like, oh my God, I know so many great. guys, why don't you, like, come to our house one day and, like, we'll have, like, a dinner and and you can meet some people. Like, I literally wasn't even thinking about it. Zoc, doc. Ow, ow, ow. What's going on? Your throat's broken?

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Displate, collect your passions. So she decided to come over and I was like, oh, my friend has a birthday party. Let's go get some drinks first. We went to my friend. My friend has a bar called Stir Crazy. It's like a wine bar. We went there first.

And then we went to Jitlada was where my friend was having. You know that place? Yeah. What is it? It's Thai food. You never invite me to Jalda. It's delicious. Jazz,

she runs. I love jazz. I love jazz too. No, her name is jazz. Okay. Keep going. Do you like it? Stop getting so horny.

We're like, I'm a hard. Yeah, yeah. So hard. Yeah, he's. Keep going. Jazz. Yeah. Tai food, my favorite.

Okay. So we're just sitting there. And then she's like, or no, first we're at the wine spot. And she said, oh my God, if this was a, if, if, if, uh, she was like, man, I would have worn something different for this date. And I was like, I was like, we're on a date?

And then she was like, what? And then I was like, and I was so confused. And then she didn't bring it up again. And then we're like hanging, having the best time. She leaves the day, like, she leaves the dinner party. And it was with other people. She leaves kind of early. She's like, I got a video shoot.

I got to do something early. And I was like, oh, okay. And then she texted me. She's like, I haven't had that much fun in so long. Then, um, are you? No. I still don't. I'm not like putting this guy.

He's like having sex with her. He's like, is this a date? Yeah. Yeah. This is a date, right? Yeah, I'm so clueless. Wow. So then we're on our, we're like second date, we're just chilling at my house.

Who organized a second date? You said come over? I think she was like, let's hang out again. It was so casual and it was so, and I was like, I'm so dumbfounded that she could ever even like me. Then I'm like, oh, okay, yeah, let's hang out again. So we're at my house and we're playing this like little game. And it's like these cards you pull out. It's so funny that you say that.

What? That was a Wigovie burp. Sorry, that was a bigote. I might be a question for Wagovi. Yeah, yeah. I had an injectionally yesterday. Did you? Yeah, yeah.

What is Wigovi? It's the same thing as Ozampic and Manjara. Yeah, yeah. Where does it? Your stomach. Dipsic is the Chinese version. Dipsic? He gets Wagovi from overseas.

How long have you been Wagoving? Two months. No, it's more than that. Three months. And how much weight have you lost? 15. Almost 20 pounds Really

Yeah 15 How when will you do it till You have no torso left I want to look I want to look like Stephen Yun I was just about to say Tell him what you told me in Australia What I say

What are you gonna get? Oh yeah A six pack You're gonna get a six pack He's gonna get buff You are? Yeah He's gonna get super

Are you working out? No No back to you and Selena because I just, it was a side. Second date, she comes over to your house. Second day she comes over to my house. We're playing the game. How many people are there?

No, it's just me and her. Oh my God. It's just me and her. And then still in this moment, I'm just like, I'm like, I'm not even thinking about it like that for some reason. She's at my house. There's this game. And in the game, it says, take a selfie with the person next to you. I was the only one next to her.

So she like comes up towards me and like is on my chest and takes a selfie and then I was and I said, oh my God. And then I turned. Oh my God. Let him do it. And I was like, oh my God. And then I just kissed her immediately. And that was our first kiss. It has to be a 95% you have to be 99% higher.

99% sure. With Selena Gomez you do. With Selena Gomez. How did you know it was 99%? I felt it. When you feel it, you feel it. Really? Yeah, he felt it.

You're acting like you've never kissed a person before. I have. We're getting there. We're getting there. No, I have. But oh, so 99% you felt it. You can't be, you can't be 80% sure. Oh my God.

Do you, do you, if she would have went like this, if you want and turned away, is that the, is the working relationship done at that point? No more songs. No, I don't think so. Really? No, I think I'll be just talk about it. But you would have to apologize. Like, I'm sorry.

I read it wrong. I guess so. Yeah, yeah. I guess. Have you had to do that before? Uh-huh. You've read it wrong? Yeah.

You've read it wrong? Yeah. That's never happened to me before. Wait. Wait, have you, have you read it wrong? No.

Like one time? I read it wrong. No, it's more than one. I know it's more than one. Twice. You're lying. Nope, you're still lying. Five times.

No, maybe still lying. Every time. Every time you're right. Not every time. I think there's six to eight in your life. You know what, Benny? Your tone today? No.

It went from like equal grounds to like you being like them. No, I have you on a roller coaster. That's right. I'll defend Bobby again. You know why? Do you know why he reads it wrong sometimes? Because Bobby lives in the moment.

He flies free and beautiful. Exactly. On the unicorn. He's the unicorn. And so therefore he's living in the moment. He assumes let me try. And if he reads it wrong, he says, I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah.

I thought you thought I was wonderful. And she said, no, I'm not sexually attracted to you. Hi, I'm not. sexually attracted to you. Will you be my friend? All right, guys, honestly, can I take your drink order at this point? Yeah, no.

We have our appetite. We're going to work on the appetizer for a second. We have to discuss this first. You come here every week. You know the menu. I know. There's only two things on the appetizer, but you know what I mean?

We're not going to get both. So after the kiss, though, that was it. That was off to the race. And then we hung out constantly. Oh, can I ask you this before? You're not getting into. Yeah. Did they just, you don't have to get in specifics, right?

But did the kiss lead to more that day? It did not. It did not. Okay, when did that happen? She's, she's, he wants to know date and time. No, I don't want to know date in time. I just eventually like, and I don't get specific. No, no, no.

When did you guys start dating then? Immediately. That's what that was the, did you spend every day together? No, because we're both so busy. Yeah. But very, very quickly we realize, you know, when like you first start dating someone, you're like, oh, I can't give them all my time. But then very quickly, like, it's like, oh, I have an hour free here.

I'll hang out with them. Oh, I have this time here. And very quickly we realized that we were, I have a little go fever. Yeah. Very quickly I realized we were like inseparable. And no, I love. Yeah, and I met my best friend.

Who said, who said I love you first? She did. She said it so many times by mistake even. What do you mean? Just like on a phone call. I love you, bye. She was getting like, I forget. She was getting like dental work or something.

Something happened and she was like a little woozy. And as she was coming to, she was like, I love you. And I was like, and I, and I, and I, and I, I was so scared. Can't say it. I didn't. I didn't say it back. I didn't say it back. And then one time, she was, her and Taylor Swift were at a sushi restaurant. And they were sending me a voice memo.

And they were like, oh my God, this is so much fun. We miss you. We wish you were here. And she's like, and she was like, we love you. And then just like, she literally said, we love you. And then it was like, and then it ended. And then I was waiting. I knew we were taking this trip to New York.

And I was like. First class. No, no, no. He flies private. No, I don't even fly. He drives. He drives. I don't like planes.

I don't like planes. Do you take planes? Yeah. Southwest, baby. You like Southwest? Every time this guy has to go to New York has to drive. He's like, I'll be there in three days. Yeah, I drive.

Yeah. I do. I take a boat to Europe. Are you being real? I'm being for real. There's no way. I swear. You will get nothing done.

I swear, I take a fucking boat. So you don't fly ever. Be honest with me. I haven't flown. I haven't gotten on a plane since two. Oh, I got on a plane, but I got off of it. I haven't successfully flown on a plane since 2018. And before that, 2015, before that 2009.

So you really drive to places? Yes. And I take a boat. But I just decided two days. ago that I'm gonna fly again. Good, thank you. I just decided, I was in the shower, and I was sitting on the ground in the shower.

I sit on the ground every time I get in the shower. Yeah. And I said, how old, I said, how, what? That's funny. Yeah, it's insane. What, you don't sit on the ground. It's insane. You don't ever sit on the ground in the shower.

What? What? No, in the bathtub. In the tub. No, no, in the shower, sit on the ground, let it wash over you. Sometimes I, sometimes I actually lay down and let the water shoot into my asshole.

Hmm. Oh. You never do that? Never did that before, yeah. You've never done. This is what producers are. I literally like it. Rick Rubin.

Right. Yeah. Quincy Jones. Yeah, that's a Quincy Jones move right there, dude. You let it go right in your butt. Yeah, yeah. That's where all the good ideas come back. Yeah.

It feels so, okay. So I was just sitting in the shower and I was like, how old am I? I'm 36. And I said, fuck. I said, you know, people. Someone died recently and they were like 90. And I was like, Jimmy, I was like, that's, I was like, I was like, shit, I only get to live my life like two more time.

I was like, I'm going to die and I'm not going to get on an airplane. I was like, I should just get on an airplane because I might die on that. I might get cancer tomorrow. I might, I don't know. Was that the last year in you in New York, 2018? No, I was in New York like a month or two ago. And you drove there from L.A. I was in New York in December and I'm going back in two weeks.

And you're driving there. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess. I guess. I think you were kidding, Dan. Do you still want to date me? Yeah.

I'm ma'am. Oh, yeah, ma'am. For you, ma'am. Is the fear of, is it because of death? I'm becoming more attractive to you. Oh, it's working. It's working. See, dude, you wear them down.

Yeah. Wow. Now, does that work wearing down? Be honest. Be your truth. Yes. Wearing down helps. I think.

I don't know. I don't know if you want to be like, we fell in love because I wore her down. Yeah. But you wore, in many ways, you wore Selena down. know. I mean, you were working together for years, right? So you had that friendship trustworthy.

There was no trying, though. All right, so I'm not going to try. Yeah, just go on friend. Maybe just go on friend dates. Anyway, I don't know. I don't know yet. I don't know yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm going to die soon. What's the special today, sir? Oh, today? Yeah. It's Crab Rangoon. Oh. And then crab Rangoon with like a house-made fo' la follo sauce. I don't know if you do you probably not traveled.

I don't know. Have you been to France? I haven't. Oh, how'd you get there? I've been a few times by flight, but many times by boat. Wonderful. So you do fly, sir? Before I used to fly.

Wonderful. And for our main course is going to be a hand-caught squirrel. Squirrel loin, and it's slightly seared. It's served pretty rare. Do you have hedgehog? Let me check with the show. See if we still have the hedgehog. Because you got it last week.

last week. We might have run out, but I will check it. We love the belly fat of that baby. Hedgehog. Oh my God. It melts right in your mouth. Please, cool, good check. Yes, I will. One second. Did, did. Shia! Yeah.

Did you, when you were younger, do you, are you finding it that you're getting girls easier now or when you were younger? No. Do you find it easier now that you're fucking rich and famous to get girls? Versus when you were poor. I'm all here with you, Bobby. The way you laughed just now, dude, really. really pissed me off. It did.

When you were poor Did it make you mad in real life? Yeah, I did. Everyone laughing, fuck off. Did it make you mad at in real life? Yeah. I was just trying to.

I got, I was being honest. I know, Benny. I got, um, when I was 23, and I was performing as a, like an open micer is when I got the confidence. To talk to me.

But before that, I was a version. Mm. And now he's the king. And now you're the king. Were you confident as it? Yeah, he got blow jobs in high schools.

Everybody got blow jobs. I got a blowjob in high school. I never got one. Not in high school? I said 23, dude. 23 was first blow job? Was 23 first kiss? I mean, I kissed out a girl.

I kissed out. She was knocked out. I kissed her out, then. He kissed her so hard. He kissed her so hard. Oh. Okay. Yeah, so I kissed a girl in high school.

Her name was, um. No need to say the full name. Why? Why? He doesn't need that on the internet. Why? Why is she saying? Nothing happened.

We just kissed. Why is that not a bad thing? Because what if she doesn't want her name attached to that? All right, Julie Magal. There it is. So you kissed Julie Maganol. Yeah, Maganol. And then the next Monday, it was a weekend.

Yeah. She denied it to everyone that she kissed me. That's why I said you shouldn't put her full name in this. Yeah. And I remember thinking about it for years. It hurt you. Oh, my God. Well, we've all had this moment.

I had it. Okay, let's all give our embarrassing. Okay. I had one. Yeah. My freshman year of college, a girl lived literally two doors down. So gorgeous. Like, so cool.

And we're all in like a little friendship circle. And then one night, I wrote her a note, like kind of like a confessional being like, I had this crazy crush on you. And I was like my heart, you know when your heart like hurts that's beating so hard? And I slid it under her door. And then I went back into my dorm and I was like, fuck, was that stupid? Should I have not done that? Like, what, you know? And I just kind of blacked out and thought.

for like an hour. And my hand to God, I come, I go get something to eat from the commissary. I come back and she's down at the end of the hall with a group of like the other people

at the end of the hall, like a girl and another dude and they were laughing at the note. No. Oh, that's so funny. And that, no. Fuck it. No, that's so mean.

In your face, you fucking idiot. Killed me. That killed me. Oh, that's so sad. I'm so sorry. It fucked me up so much. Oh, my God. So there was a girl

at the Addison Improv. Oh, it hurt. She was a waitress. Yeah. And I opened it for Carlos Monsia back in the 90s, right? And I hooked up with her. That sounds with her, right? Then years later, I ran into another comic, and he was like talking about her.

You know what I mean? Yeah, she hooked up with all these comics. He listed the name, right? And I go, was I in the list? And he goes, no, she didn't mention him. And I was so hurt by that. That hurts. Yeah, yeah.

Give me your hurt. When I was 13, I asked. out my first girl. Okay. Like on a date, my mom literally helped me. I got flowers and chocolates and I did everything. And I went to a school that like,

it wasn't a great school. So, and there was like a lot of fights. There was a lot of bully, blah, blah, and there was like a big locker commons. And there was like, you know, almost 2,000 kids that went to my school. And she was in the middle

and everyone knew it was going to happen. So I went and I did it. And she said, Yes, okay? So I'm like, oh, my, I'm like so happy. But we're so awkward and nervous. We like, don't even know. We did like this like weird church hug like where your butt sticks out.

And then like, we didn't look at each other. And then we both walked our separate ways. And I was like, will you be my girlfriend? And she was like, yeah. And then I get to class and I sit down. And I remember I'm wearing gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt. And do you know? You know when like, okay, so I dropped a pen.

And you know when like you bend over and you bend a little too quick and you fart. Yeah, you did that. I bent over and I shit my pants. Oh, wow. Full shit. Full shit. Didn't see that coming. Did that go?

Yeah. A hundred percent like, like not even, not like a squirt, like a full like a like that, like that smart water bottle. Yeah. Just like inside. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, oh my God. And I do the thing where you like wiggle and I'm like, it's there. It's in there. Oh my.

And I'm like, And I'm like, It's warm too, right? Yeah. Oh, it's so hot. I do the thing where you wiggle. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't reference to them. Yeah.

Most people don't shit their pants. No. What do you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You shit your pants before. Wait, stop the second. Did you just hear your tone?

You see. We just met today. Yes. And did you just hear your tone? He shit his pants too. I know, but I'm saying the way you talk to me, though, is crazy, dude. No. Acorns.

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Just go to hellofresh.com slash bad friends 10 FM. Hello fresh America's number one meal kit. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So you wiggle, you feel it. It's warm. Back on track.

Wait, real quick. Have you shit your pants with me? Many times, millions of times. He's seen me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been with them, it's been bad. My Prius, remember the Prius? Yeah, yeah.

Shit all over it. So I shit my pants. Yeah. And I say, I say, hey, can I go to the bathroom? And in my school, they don't let you go to the bathroom for the first 15 minutes or the last 15 minutes because they think everyone's going to skip. Okay. And I was like, I really have to go to the bathroom.

And they were like, no. and I was like, I'm sick. And they were like, I'm sorry, you're going to have to wait. And I was like, I have to go. And I was so scared that with any movement, any movement, if I move the wrong way, it could like break the seal through like the bottom of my sweatpants and it smells. Like I have no. Oh, my God.

And so I'm sitting there and I'm like, and I just get up and leave. I get up and leave. That's the move. And she says, and the teacher goes, the teacher goes, wait. and as she's saying wait I just turn to the girl and I say I go I'll be right back and I

I close the door the teachers like coming out I run full speed okay I run to the bathroom real quick see if I can fix the situation it's unfixable it's gone through my pants it's in my

it's like it's it's probably seep through the other side it's unfixable I don't know first I throw away the pants and they're still like I can't cannot be fixed.

So I run full speed all the way home, all the way home. And for some reason, my mom is- Wait, wait, wait, you left the school just running? Yes. Are you fucking kidding me? And I lived close to the school. Okay, okay. In your underwear or what, no, I had my sweatpants back on no underwear.

Okay. And I remember I go home, I get home. Somehow my mom was there. She's never there. She doesn't even work. My mom worked in another state. She's like, hi, honey, the gardener's just leaving. We don't have a gardener.

I'm like, Mom, we don't have it. What's Bobby doing? And we're just friends. She's not sexually attracted at me. Fine. It's a, we're just, it's a running. It was a bit. I don't like it, Bobby.

Drop it, drop it, drop it. I've been defending you all day. Was your mom mad at you? My mom immediately sends me back to school. Doesn't even let me change. Well, you did older. You told her the situation? Yes.

And she said, I don't care. You're going back to school. She said, she said, I said, what's wrong with this woman? What's wrong with your mom, dude? She goes, get back to you. She was probably fighting the guard. Yeah. She was like, get back to school.

Yeah. So I had to go back to school. No, you go in the forest. Yeah, dude. I went back to school and I had missed that period. And somehow, like, I had actually had like an extra pair of underwear in my gym, like, thing because it was gym next. And, like, I escaped. It was all good.

But it was, it was fully traumatizing. Wait a minute. The girl never found out. You shoot your pants? Never found out. But she did. But she broke up with me. I think like two days later.

She never found out? Never found out. You need to retell that story and say she did find out. Okay. She found out. Why? She found out I shit my pants. I thought it was heroic what I did.

Yeah. I thought it was heroic. No, you weren't, we did stories we were embarrassed. What are you talking about? I was the most of it. She never knew. She never knew.

All that stuff just was meaningless. So it doesn't care. You just gave us a shit story. It wasn't even about heartbreak. The shit section's at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so, but shit. But that wasn't heartbreak.

Okay. So you never experienced real heartbreak. Yeah, yeah. No, he's never had it. He's never had it. And that's why he gets Selena Gomez. I know. We have had heartbreak.

We've had real heartbreak. Yeah. By the way, I asked out a girl, I asked a girl to fucking spring or, not prom, but like spring or one of those things. And she denied me, no thank you. This is real, this feels good. Okay.

And then years later, hit me, up online to come to like a show. I was playing a show in whatever city she lives in now and hit me up online, hey, we can't wait to see you get at the show, you know, can we get some tickets, da-da-da, and I never responded and it felt so fucking good. Really? To deny her.

Oh, it was such good payback. At one time, I was at the San Diego American Comedy Company. Okay. And the hot chicks from school, right? From San Diego my high school went. The ones that never even talked to me, right? And they're sitting there with her husbands, but they now all look like, you know what I mean? Spirm whale.

I mean, they've got barnacles on their face. Right. Just plankton all right. It's like they don't look good, right? And they're just killing, you know what I'm looking at them. It feels so good. God, that feels good. I love it.

It feels so good. My friend has the best story of that I've ever heard. So my good friend growing up, we were all doing this thing. When you were younger, like, you know how like everyone's like first kid. Well, you don't know this part. But no, I'm just, I'm just saying you said you didn't kiss me. You were 23. No, he kissed in high school.

Oh, you can't, okay. So do you remember? It's unbelievable. It's outrageous. I've never seen it. He's just trying to be relatable. A big time producer comes in here. It's just fucking, you know what I mean?

I've defended you. No, you haven't. Yes, I have. Keep going. We'll let the crowd decide. Do you guys want to order your main course at some point? No, we'll go to have a rush now. What happened?

What would you like? Male. What do you want? I like his little male. Yeah. So your friend, what? Okay. So, you know, when you're experimenting, everyone's like starting to experiment. We're all at one house together. And my friend is about to get the first hand job. All of us.

Nobody's getting a hand job. He's about to get the first one. I'm not going to say his name or her name. Famous person? No, what do you mean? I'm 13. This is back home when he's a kid. I'm 13. I don't know. I'm not from El. LA. I don't know if I'm from Virginia. Oh, your attitude right now, Benny. Okay. I'm sorry. You hang out with the top. I'm sorry about that question. I wasn't hanging out when I was 13.

Oh, that's right. Okay. Okay. So, so, so so so. My friend's about to get a hand job in rural. Is there are flyers? How do you know? Um, it is it there's flyers. There's flyers. And he took the little thing that says hand job. Yeah. Yeah. And so so he's about to get the hand job. We're all waiting outside the bathroom. They go into the bathroom. Okay. and it's like there's like rustling and then there's laughing. The girl runs out and she goes like this. No.

And he says and he's he's mortified. mortified because we were all figuring out we're like in that stage where we're about to go through puberty. We're not sure. Like some of us had like hair and like our dick was still small. She's a girl right?

Her pinky's even smaller than a normal. Yeah, it's very small. Asian girl no less. And he's he's he's traumatized. She leaves everyone. I said, you're going to be fine. Nobody's even going to remember this. We're going to go to school tomorrow.

Everything's going to be perfect. He kills himself. We get into school. We get to school. And there's a substitute teacher. And our substitute teachers were like so young. They were like college students. This girl's like 21.

And I guess someone had told her the thing. The sub? The sub. And the sub just like, is Mark here? Yeah. That's literally what she did. No. She goes, she goes, is blank here?

And he was so embarrassed. He, Even I remember that day. She did that? Yes. I remember that day. Subs are red. We were at home.

We were at home and he was contemplating changing schools. Yeah. Changing schools. He should have done it. Yeah. Genders. Okay. Gender.

So, okay. Yeah, he's so close already. I mean, fast forward. This man goes through puberty and his cock becomes huge. Love this. Huge. Oh, I love this. Huge.

Yeah. He's got like a, he's got a fucking pie. on in his pants is thick, it's huge. How do you know? He knows. We all know. You know. You know.

Yeah, everyone knows. Yeah. Everyone knows. You know. You know what you know. You know. Okay. So, he's in college.

He's at a party. Same girl. No. No. Perfect. He fucks her. Sends her to the hospital. He fucks her.

Wow. And she's like, ah! Like, and he's like, ah! Wow. And he's like, and he, And he said it was like the best performance. He's like usually I'm terrible at sex.

He's like it was the best performance I had ever done. Yeah. And he said, he said as he's leaving the next, she's like, she's like, like the next day he's, he's leaving. And he just goes. Oh, walks out. That's a movie. This is a movie. That's it.

Yeah. Never spoke to her again. It's like that. How's them apples? Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's that scene.

Yeah. I love. Isn't that amazing? It's a true wonder story. I've never had a wonder story. Have you ever had a wonder story? You live a wonder story. Yeah, what are you talking about?

Your life is perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But not like that wonderful. I know. We all know the guy. We had a guy in my high school name, I'm not going to say his last name, but they called him the elephant

because he had a trunk in high school. He had a cock so big in gym class, you know, like you put on the like school-issued gym shorts. And I'm not kidding when I was, because they were short back in the day. Yeah, yeah. His penis, if he didn't put it away, would come out of the bottom of the gym shorts.

It was fucking unreal. Here's another thing that I want to tell people right now, I'm glad we're bringing you this up. Okay, and I would just FYI, anyone that sees me at We Spa, right? Don't recognize me. What do you think? You mean, I'm in this, you're in a steam room. It's steamy.

Are you Bobby Lee? They say that to you? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And you were all naked, right? And I always have to go, not here. Not here. You say you're not Bobby Lee here, but you're Bobby Lee outside or just don't talk.

I'm Ken Jung here. Yeah. You're right. I'm Ken Jung and then we'll go outside and Bobby Lee. My point is that it's one of those places like when you're eating at a restaurant. Yeah. Where it's like you don't do it here. If you're on a date or something.

Right, but do you think naked in a spa is not a good place? It's not true. Just wait till we're in the locker. Right, right, right, right. Might be number one. Number one. Not to get recognized. Bathroom is weird too when I'm like pissing your...

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Where a guy, like, comes up and hits you on the back. Touching you in the bathroom is insane. I hate that. You know what happened to me the other day? It's happened to me so many times. The guy's just pissing and starts talking to me.

And then after he talks to me, he gives me a high five with his, dick hand. Not necessary. It's not necessary. Don't need to do that. I get picked up. Yeah, he gets lifted. In the back.

Like a trophy. No, anywhere. Everywhere. From behind, they're like, hey, and I won this or whatever. Why do they pick you up? I'm small and I look like I'm like,

I can be picked up. He's pickupable. How tall are you? Five, three, five four. Oh. How tall am I? You're five-five. I'm five-five.

Yeah. Thank you, waiter. Yeah. Can I honestly get your drinks? How tall are you? Six-one. Yeah, he's, it's good. You're good.

That's good height. Well, people always say, a lot of people always say from the internet, they don't know how tall we are because of the, at the desks and stuff. Yeah, yeah. And then they see us together and they're like, oh, then I thought, I thought you guys were the same size. Do you know in real life,

everyone says, there's so much shorter than I thought. Yeah, because they only see you on a, on a screen standing up. You also look like Bob Dylan a little bit. I do. You should have done that.

A little bit. Can you sing like Dylan? Come on. Can't anyone. No, not like Shalamee did. Dude, I haven't seen the movie. What? Did you see him on SNL?

No. Fucking killed. He needs to die. What? Too talented. Oh. The kid is fucking amazing. He's so fucking amazing.

He is likable. Lovable. He's funny. Good looking. He can sing. Play the guitar. I mean, what the fuck? I saw him on, uh, I like to call me by your name.

That, uh, that movie. Oh, yeah. Movie from four years ago? That was the, you didn't see the new movie he's in? No, I didn't see the Dylan movie. I didn't see it yet. Dude, you're a musician. Yes.

You're so, you're so, you're so. I usually don't like those type of biopics. They're usually like kind of corny. Okay, I agree. But this one's not like that. This one is not fucking corny. Did you see the Elvis one? No.

Did you see? Elvis one was corny as fuck. Okay, did you see it though? No. I didn't. But he is right. Do you see the Bohemian Rhapsody? That's the one I saw and I was like, oh, I still can, I can be like, I was right.

I can't see these again. Because that one was a little corn. Yeah, they're just like, there as someone who like, I really love like all documentaries, like Dylan's documentary, incredible. You're right. And I love, for me, it's just like, okay, the type of movies that turn me on and turn me off, like, I don't love, like, those, like, super Hollywood biopic things. I don't love, like, action movies. They're not, like, my favorite type of thing.

What do you watch? Nothing. Okay, I love, like, I love a movie that's going to, like, rip my heart out. Or I love, like, a. Amelia Perez. Yeah. No, I didn't know, but I also love, like, like, Forth of George, Triangle of Sadness. Like, I love, like, triangle of sadness.

Like, I love like... Triangle Face Sadness is good. Yeah, yeah. I love those type of movies. Yeah, yeah. And I like, like... How about horror? I do like...

I like some horror. Okay. And I like... You're good. And I really like, uh, what's it called? I... Because horror's different than action. It's like more...

It's like, like, like, horror you're like, whore you're like, whoa, like they really did... It's not just like, like, a really good horror movie is like so beyond... It's a mind-fares. Yeah. You've never seen Avengers? No. Oh, you won't. No, I've never seen any of the Avengers.

No. Name me an Avenger. I've never, I don't even, I don't know. But you gotta know one of them. You gotta know the superheroes. You're Paul, pop culture. So maybe just guess an Avenger. What do you mean?

Get, what? Okay, you're, the, okay, you're, Avenger. You're Nick Fury, right? You're like Samuel L. Jackson's character. Who the fuck's Nick Fury? He's just in it. You don't have to guess now.

Okay. I already just named him, right? Okay. So now you're, there's an emergency, right? There's like Mexican aliens coming down. Okay. Right, right? Right, right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Mexican from the sky, right? Yeah. And you need to get the Avengers. Another spaceship coming from a mile away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a thousand of them in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you're saying who's the actual? You're saying who's the act? No, no, no. You have to call the actual superhero. So who you call it? I'm your sidekick. I'm your, I work for you. Spider-Man?

Is he an Avenger? Yes, yes. Call Spider-Man. Call Spider-Man. Oh, okay. Who else? I've only seen one Spider-Man. I know.

Let's go to Avengers. We're back to New Fury. I don't know any events. They try to guess, throw it out. Okay, the Hulk. Yes. So you do know. Yeah, you know.

Wait, really? Yes. I just guess, are they actually Spider-Man and the Hulk? They're in the Avengers, yeah. Yes. You could name any one of them. You'd probably get it right. Get it right.

That's it? That's all you know. Wolverine. That's, he is Marvel Universe and not an Avenger. I've, I've only seen, um, copyright. I've only seen, I think I've only seen one Marvel movie. Which one was it? Spider-Man then.

It's got to be. Oh, is that Marvel? Okay. Then I saw the original Spider-Man. With Toby McGowan. Yeah, I saw that one. Okay. And then, oh, I've seen two.

I saw the one, the animated one. The open verse or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that. Okay. Someone, I went with someone's kid to that one. Uh-huh. Let's clarify that story.

And then like, so obviously you've never heard, you've never seen any Star Wars or anything like that either then. When I was a kid, I saw Star Wars in school. Like we had to watch it in school. But that's the only time you saw. I've only time I've ever seen. That's so fascinating. I've never seen lost.

I've never seen. That's nothing to do with fucking superhero. No, no, I thought JJ, Jay, J.J. Abrams. I never saw Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. No, JJ Abrams made lost too. Yeah. He did lost, too. He did lost.

Yeah, you're right. He made some Star Wars. Okay. Yeah. Oh, okay. And then I've never seen, um, what's another big one of those movies? All right. So, Lord of the Rings.

Never seen it. Wow. Harry Potter. I've never seen that. I like Harry Potter. Okay. I've never seen Game of Thrones. Wow.

Not one episode? Just one episode when Ed Shearan was at my house and he wanted to stream it because he was in the episode. It was the only episode I ever said. Let's say I'm a girl, right? You break up with Selena, which is going to happen eventually. But my point is that. I'm at your house. It's like, what do you want to watch?

What would we watch together? Me and you? Yeah, yeah. As guys? No, as I'm a girl. Don't say that with some hot girl. This is mustard. Yeah, I'm mustard.

No, Mayo's cousin. I would say. Yeah, yeah. What would you watch? I would say, let's watch Amelia Perez. I miss my wife. Oh, she was good at her. Yeah, she's great.

You still have to suck him now? While you watch Amelia Perez. I can't even get a commercial agent. Yeah, Mustard doesn't get a lot of work on this town. And I love, I really love, like, the, like, slapstick comedy that's just going to mind this. Naked Gun. Yeah, I love that. Airplane.

Yeah, I love that. And I also love, like, I love, like, like, early day. of Seth was so good. I loved super bad, all that shit. All right, right. Love that. And then, and then, yeah, otherwise I want to watch like an indie, like my mom took me, when I was a kid, I was watching like,

we were going to see like the squid and the whale. Like, you know what I mean? It wasn't like, all right, how about this? Have you seen all the way through Sopranos? Of course. Okay, don't fucking of course me, dude. You said a lot of weird. Okay, okay, my family, my family, like very important shows growing up

that we watched as a family who watched Sopranos, the, wire, curb your enthusiasm, and Seinfeld. That's great. Those were our, and my parents both have pretty good taste and stuff. I'm also obsessed with any mafia movie. So like, so like I'm a Scorsese. I love Scorsese. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was actually just rewatching. I had COVID like two months ago and was rewatching so many movies. And I'm just like, oh, I'm just like, I forgot like how good Cape Fear was. So my God. And I was just, I was going through like all my favorite movies and like, all like, you know, like a Bronx Tale, all those old movies. Like, those movies are so perfect. Bronx Tale's so good.

All of them. All of them. What's your favorite gangster movie? Probably either casino or good fellas. That's everyone's, that's everyone's too. Casino. Which one though? Casino more.

Casino more. I just love these. What do you guys think of untouchables? It's good. It is good. But it's not. It's not at the level. All right, let's end smoothly because he's got to go.

Okay. Because the sweetheart's got to go. Okay. Why are you looking at me like that? He's a pro. I don't know what the fuck you're doing, Penny. That's why I'm looking at you. I have an album coming out.

With my better half. We're doing a joint album. Yeah. Clap more for her, not me. Yeah, we are. Yeah, we are. Okay, good. Good, yeah, don't clap for me.

Selina and Benny dropping an album. Yeah. What's it called? Selina and Benny? It's called Selena and Benny. Really? No. Wait, wait, wait, let's guess the album.

Okay, okay. Yeah. Okay, okay. You guys each get three guesses. Okay. That's impossible. What do you mean? Very, anything's possible.

It's possible. All right. Kentucky Lightning. That's it. That's it. How did he get it? That's really good. No, it's not Kentucky Lightning.

No, it's got to be a duo name. It's her and him. So it's got to be like... Almond and Nutcake. No, no, no, no. This is just our... You have two now. Wait, this is just...

It's the album title. We're going a separate... It's just the... Album cover. So I gave two. Yeah, don't give... Now you give two. Fontina cheese.

Close. Fuck. Okay. You do one more. Crush veneer Okay Can I do one more? Yeah

Isabella Isabella not in this lifetime I like that one That's beautiful Pretty good right Is that yours Yours is that's beautiful Yeah

No that was gorgeous Oh okay Isabella Isabella Not in this lifetime It's pretty good Your album is going to be called Wonderment Yeah

What is it? It's called I said I love you first Change it change it to Isabella Isabella I do think we change it I think you should change your album to Shit Pants and Gomez

Yeah Which one So when does the album drop? I think it's already out by the time It's out right now Go check it out on everything This is the future It's already out

Well This is we are living in the future But is it hard to work with your fiancé or no He's been doing it for 20 years Is it? No, no, no, no, but it wasn't. Romantically. It wasn't, yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't romantically before.

Well, what is it now? Romantically. No, but it didn't change the work relationship. Well, you guys just hook up mid-session? Yeah, we're just, just mid-session hook up. No, it's actually better because we can, I know her so well now, we can say, we can speak so freely to each other and like really, you know, if we're like sitting in bed, I'll be like, oh, actually that thing we did earlier, I thought it'd be better if we did it like this.

And then she'll be like, oh, like, I either like that or I don't. And we can just talk about it. Some things you might, you might walk on eggshells a little bit more when you're working with the artists. You don't necessarily know that well. And I think it's so much better. And we've been able to like, you can say whatever you want. Like you can talk about, there's no rule.

Like, it's like, you know how in comedy, like, you might say a joke that's something that you would never say in real life. but it's the art of the joke. That's why you're saying. Like, it's not how you actually feel about a person, but you're saying it because you think it's funny. Right. In music, it's the same thing.

Like, you can say something, like, let's say I was talking about, like, someone from my past or she's talking about someone from her past in a song. If you can, like, talk about that way more than, like, talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, so it's, it's easy. It's like therapy. And it's, I found it to be much easier to work with her than I've worked with any. anybody else, I think.

Wow. Because go listen to the album. That's not, I mean, you sold me on it. You gotta tell you shit pants. You sold me, bud. Thanks. And we love you and you're welcome back anytime. Go check my new album, Isabella, Isabella,

shitpants, what is it? Isabella, Isabella. I forgot. You forgot? Yeah, because I wanna say something real though. Can I say something real, do you bet? Yeah, you can say something. We didn't know much about you before.

Yeah. I really like you, man. He's a nice guy, intelligent. I think we have a lot in common. I don't know about that one No I think so too We're the underdogs We're the underdogs

And you're winning And I love it You're winning Yeah so give Benny a run of applause Thank you for being a bad friend