Bad Friends - Bobby and Andrew Take Down Wall Street

Episode Date: February 1, 2021

Thank You to our Sponsors: https://www.harrys.com/badfriends & https://www.meundies.com/badfriends & http://hellotushy.com/badfriends & download DoorDash app and use code: BADFRIENDS2021 Subscribe to our YouTube: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube 0:00 Rudy Confronts Andrew 3:15 Bobby vs Gamestop: Do We Like This Stock?  7:40 The Lifetime Chipotle Card 10:15 The Worst Salad Bars In The World 15:20 Bad Friends Reviews: In and of Itself & How To with John Williams 23:05 Andrew's New Movie: Pixar's Out 29:05 Rudy's Issues with Tito 33:00 Bad Friends Revies: The Vast of Night 37:05 Chris Struckman, Go On TigerBelly 43:15 How To Make Hollywood Small Talk 48:05 Whitmer Thomas' Rigmarole 54:50 Joe Rogan's Austin Train Picks Up Tim Dillon & Tony Hinchcliffe 58:05 Rudy's Pretends to Be a Teacher More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com/ More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger:  https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino  Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com/ More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/   Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod   Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom  Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Produced by George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Jenna Sunde, Joe Faria, Andrés Rosende Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. Anchor. If you haven't heard about anchor,

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Koreans came up to me. And said what? Dude. Bad friends. Bobby Lee is like my idol man. Trust me. Trust me. I know.

She doesn't respect me, right? That's disgusting. What I wanted to retell you right now is I'm a leader of group. Recognize. Recognize, right? And if there was a war, God bless it, be not happen, right? God bless, not happen. God bless, be not happen, right?

You would be in big trouble, all right? I'm going to tell you another thing, young lady. Tell her. You're not going to believe this. This is against you. You're not going to believe this. You're not going to believe this. So we get in the car, right?

To drive here. Today. And she goes, get the Bobby. I go, what? She goes, if Andrew not wearing a mask, right? I'm going to say something. I was wearing a mask. I understand that.

I understand that. And look, you were. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go, where are you going to do? I have had enough. I have enough. You have enough.

I had enough. You have it up to here? I didn't say that. I'm going to confront. He goes, I'm going to confront him. You're going to confront me. You're going to confront Andrew? She goes, yeah.

He better be wearing a mask or I'll confront. You know what? Oh, yeah. Do it now. I didn't say that. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did. I didn't.

Why don't you confront me right now? Do the confront. Come on, confront me right now. I didn't say that. Okay. So if he wasn't wearing a mask, right? You weren't going to say anything because you promised the lady. No, I would wait for you to say it.

I would wait for you to say it. And that's where the Japanese took over the island. Right? I wait. I wait for the US to help us. You're weak. You couldn't even confront me right now. It's unbelievable what she says around the house.

You know what I mean? Like, I'm going to get here. I'm going to say something. What? Yeah, yeah. And it's like, what? Yeah, it's a lot of people. No.

Yeah. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude.

Dude, I'm so mad at you. Yeah, I know. I know. And you know what? To think that I brought you a gift today. Oh my God. To think I brought you a gift. Oh, another knife.

Look at this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at the size of this thing. That's a nice one. Yeah, you want to play with it? Is it real? Yeah, it's real. Will I cut myself?

Yeah. Oh my God, it's sharp. It's real. Yeah, dude. This is a knife knife. Yeah, yeah. Let's see. No.

Well, this is a nice table. Yeah. You don't get to keep it. I didn't say. No. You know what? Yeah, yeah. You know what, Bob?

Yeah. I'm not going to give that to her. She doesn't get that knife. You know what, Rudy? She doesn't get anything from now on. Here. Yeah, yeah. This one.

You get that one. What is that? It's another knife. Okay, get her that one. You get a little baby knife. Baby knife. There you go. You can have both.

I love you. Here. Here, take both. Take both. You freak. Yeah. Psycho. Yeah.

I will one day. I confront him. You're finally going to confront me. Rudy, did you get any AMC stock or GameStop stock? No. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Did you?

No, but Clila did. Clila. How much? How many? She didn't buy like five grand. She want five grand worth. Worth, yeah. No.

I don't know what. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She put in $5,000 but there's. But a weeks ago. But stocks are only worth a couple hundred now, right? A piece. Yeah. What is it at right now?

Well, this morning was at 325. Wow. Yeah. I think it's so cool what they're doing. I am. But it's. Barium. Yeah.

All these hedge fund people have been making so much money and they don't do anything. I'm on their side. Why? What? You're on the suits. I like riches. I like the rich. But you like, don't you like rich people to get rich from doing something cool or talented?

These people didn't do anything cool. I know. I just feel like they know these loopholes and little things that they do, right, to make them some money. But that's not cool. No. And what's fucked up about it is, and then, you know, the common man like us, right, we find out about it, right?

Yeah. And then they try to fuck us. They did. They did. They are fucking us. I know. They're stopping every. You know what George bought a lot?

What did he buy? He bought GameStop and AMC. I'm getting AMC this afternoon. I bought GameStop. There. Oh. Are you going to buy any? I'm thinking about it.

But then I'm like, I lose. I feel like I'm behind. You know what this looks like? If you and me went to the casino in Vegas, we'd lose a hundred grand. Oh, I've done it. I've done it. So I'm saying, I don't win at those things. I don't lose.

I'm a loser. Gambling doesn't work for us. No. I could get like Blackjack, right? I could get two fucking kings. King king. King king and still lose. Ace king.

Yeah. Yeah. He wins every time. Every time. Every single time. Yeah. Now, gambling is, for me, gambling is I'll do it for fun. Yeah.

But I don't think about I'm going to win money. Yeah. They're full-time gambling. Andreas, no for you, right? Yeah. I always have inside information. Actually, do you guys want to know how much? Yeah.

Can you guess how much? On the ground works, people don't know about that. Andrew and I can buy it. All right. This is going to be a new segment called Andres is on the ground. Yeah. Yeah. Andres on the ground.

Finance Advice. Finance Advice. Already. Finance Advice. I'm not convinced. I'm not convinced. I just saw a matador in my head. Pull up.

Finance Advice. Andres, so finance advice. Yeah. Do you need advice? But instead of a matador, it's like a little bulldog. By the way, what an appropriate metaphor for the bull for Wall Street running past a little, a little meme of Andres, the bull of Wall Street running through a red and him going, Andres, so Sunday, finance advice.

What is it? What is it, Andres? What's your advice? Bobby, would you buy a chipotle stock or would you go with something like Moderna? Oh, he's saying what's more popular? Oh, if we were gambling right now. Okay. I see what you're saying.

Moderna or Chipotle? Moderna is a medical. Yeah. They're pharmaceutical companies. Moderna is the one who's coming out with the vaccine. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I would go with Chipotle.

I think I'd also go with Chipotle. I feel like Moderna goes up and down all the time. Chipotle is probably on a steady rise. Yeah. How much do you think is worth? I would say Chipotle stock is worth $300 or $400, $360. And what about Moderna? Moderna is up in the thousands, I bet.

Probably like $12 to $1,500. Well, no. That laugh, though? He's so condescending. He's so condescending and so gross. Could you imagine doing that to a client? What a piece of shit. I come into his office and he's like, you're here for finance advice.

Yes. Plus, he has the internet in front of him. Yeah, I know. And he's looking at the internet going. And me and my husband, Bobby, we walk into your office and I say, you know, we've never done this before and Bob's interested in getting in the market. Right. That's why you guys are here.

Thank you for coming. Well, thank you for having us. But we were just curious. We're looking to spend a little bit of money and we think maybe in Chipotle. Is that how much is Chipotle? Yeah, we were thinking Chipotle because we love the restaurant. We go there every Friday. It's the best.

After work. Right after he gets off work. And what I get is I get a burrito. Yeah, a burrito. Yeah, a burrito. And I get a burrito bowl because I'm watching my cows. Exactly. And for me, I like the cows.

Friday night's my cow night. That's when he lets loose. Yeah. So how much is Chipotle stock? $1,200. Oh, holy shit. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. A little bit of rich for our blood. Yeah. How much is Moderna? Moderna. $173. Wow.

Maybe we should buy Moderna. Yeah. Yeah. But what, $1,200 for Chipotle? Yeah. You know my girlfriend in high school? But you hurt. Wait.

This is crazy. When McDonald's used to own Chipotle, her family, someone in her family worked at Chipotle and they had the unlimited card. Do you ever see the platinum card or whatever? George, pull up the card. It's like the unlimited burrito card. Back when McDonald's used to own them, they'd give you these cards, these lifetime burrito cards, as many as you want for the rest of your life, a lifetime burrito card.

And we would go and friends could use it unlimited. No, there was no limit count. Yeah. That's it, yeah. A lifetime of burritos. Yeah, I don't eat there. Did you hear the Spain? Did you hear the Spain?

He goes, wow. I know, I know. Do you eat there? No. No, no, no. I don't eat there. In high school, I ate it all the time. Yeah.

Because you eat there, don't you eat Chipotle? I tried it twice. You don't like it? I like it. What's your favorite Mexican food? Restaurant. Restaurant? Terries.

Terries, yeah. You go to Terries? I mean, I like it. Yeah, it's good. I love it. I go to this place called El Micho Can. Oh, I love El Micho Can. I love El Micho Can.

So good. And she goes like this. She goes, whenever she sees me, she goes, hey. I go, hi. And she goes, do you want the same thing? Oh, I love when they do that. I know. I love it.

Because when we go to Terries, they all love me. Hey, they yell from the back. Hey, baby. Hey, it's the best. And they always give me extra guacamole. Oh, dude, I get extra everything. Because they use a little ice cream scooper? Yeah.

Right? I get two scoops. I mean, it's the best, yeah. Isn't that so nice? They don't give her extra. Because you don't deserve it. Yeah, yeah. No, and you laugh, but you don't deserve it.

Yeah, you laugh and you don't deserve it. But you know what also I love is any Mexican place that has the carrot thing, the pickled carrot. Oh my God, I love the best. Those are the best. Everyone should have that. Why don't more restaurants do that? Well, because I think they take time to pick.

They do. That's homemade Mexican. Yeah. That's real Mexican food. If you don't have a salsa bar, I'm not going in. I'm not going in. Yeah. I'm not going.

I love like the different kinds. You gotta have the green one. Green salsa. You gotta have the green one. And then you have the Chonko Chunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they get you. And then you got to have the brown, which is usually a Chipotle-ish or a.

The bright red. Bright red is what I like. What I like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like something out of Satan's asshole. You know what I mean? Yeah. It gets you moving.

It really does. Yeah. I like the bar. Yeah. I need a salsa and condiments bar. I don't like salad bars though. Well, they're disgusting. Yeah.

It's like, you know, do people not know how to use sunflower seeds? It's like somebody takes the sunflower and just goes, fuck it. Right? You just scoop it. I'm going to put it on myself. No, I'm going to put it everywhere. Fuck it. Right?

And then it's like, listen, all right. Name it one thing. Russian dressing. Thousand Island. Pick. Pick one. Pick. Because I don't want to fucking get confused here, baby.

Yeah. Yeah. Pick one. Yeah. And by the way, didn't we fuck off the Russians years ago? Yeah. Okay. Fuck it.

Fuck Russians. Yeah. Fuck the Russians, man. We're calling it Thousand Island. Thousand Island. From now on. Because Thousand Island sounds cool. It's a Thousand Island.

But they are different. They're very different. Yeah, they're very different. They have different ingredients. What's the difference? What's the difference? Russian dressing. Thousand Island, I think, has not, is it relish?

This is like something green in it. What is the difference? One of them has- Well, don't say that you know. No, there is a difference. And then go into an explanation where you don't- It tastes different. I don't know what it is.

There is a difference in terms of ingredients. No, I think the ingredients are almost the exact same. They're not. There's one thing, that element, that's different. That's what I'm saying. I think it's relish. Yeah. I think it's like a mayo or something.

Difference between Russian dressing and Thousand Island dressing. The main difference, the two, is the use of pickles. That's what it is. Right. That's what I said. That's what I said. Relish pickles. Same thing.

Giving it more sweetness and texture. That's right. That was right. So what? That was correct. What is it? The Thousand Island has the pickles? Thousand Island.

The main difference is that Thousand Island dressing has pickles. Little baby pickle chunks. Little pickle chunks. That's right. They do have little pickle chunks. And you know what? I'm fine with that. Fuck Russian dressing.

Get out of here. I want little pickle chunks. Yeah. Did you guys have a buffet bar when you were a kid? What do you mean? We used to have a place called Hometown Buffet. I don't even know if they exist anymore. Yeah, we had money.

We didn't go there. No, really. My dad would flick it off when we would draw by. Fuck are you at Hometown Buffet? Really? You guys were that? We hated it. You were fancy like that?

Yeah, we had money. Really? Yeah. So you never went to something like that? We go to Morton's. Is that like Hometown Buffet? Damn, you're a real bitch. I know.

I don't know what we would go to. I know. I didn't ever use or something. You know what I mean? Really? What do you mean? You guys never went to a shitty family restaurant. Like a...

Korean ones maybe. Right. Those are cheap and shitty. What? Yeah, I'm saying like mom and pop ones. Those are cheap restaurants. Those aren't fancy. We could, it was just like hole in the wall.

That's what I'm saying. It wasn't pricey. It's not a fucking chain buffet. You liked it? We didn't go as like a family, but I would go with friends in high school. The worst was, you know, when I used to... So when I was a younger comic, when I had to play Vegas, you'd have to play something like Harrah's.

Don't even... The basement? You're talking about the basement? Yeah, right. So it's like... Oh my God. First of all, you have to do... If anyone doesn't know.

You have to do eight nights of a week. Yeah. You stay there from Monday to the following Sunday night. Yeah, yeah. It's disgusting. And you have to do two or three shows a night. Yep. Right?

And it's like you get... And at least for me at the time, it was like for two shows, I would get maybe $100 or $50. Yeah, I think it's the same now. Yeah, probably the same now. Yeah. So at the end of the week, you're making like 800 bucks. Maybe.

Maybe. Maybe, right? But also you're like... They give you the hotel, but you're also everything... You have to pay for everything. Yeah, yeah. So when you say they give you 800, 900 bucks, you're losing $500.

Yeah, because there's nothing to do. So you're gambling the money away. Right. You're sitting around, you're eating, you're gambling, you're drinking. But their incentive is that they go, well, the great news is, we're going to give you a little employee ID card.

Saddest thing on Planet Earth. You know, what is it? Well, you know, all the employees at the casino, we eat... There's a, you know, a lounge. Call it what it is. What is it? A dungeon.

A basement. A basement. A dungeon. And so you can smoke there. Yep. So it's a buffet, but it's the food that they didn't want to eat at the fucking buffet. It really is.

There's a dumb waiter. They put down food and you open up a thing and food comes out of shit nobody wanted upstairs. We must eat. What will it be? Whatever the ones above don't want. The buffet in the hotel, right? Yep.

Upstairs, right? Like, Midwestern people are like, ah, that looks rotten. Right? I don't want to eat that. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

For the comedians, right? Yeah. So now you have employees going through the line with cigarettes. Smoking. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

And just drunk. Yeah. Right, right. And then you're just, you have this little thing, ID card, right? And you're going through, and you, as a poor comic, you have to eat it. You don't have a choice.

Yes. You can't afford whatever's upstairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're just sitting there eating like this fucking, you know, brown cucumber. Right? Yeah. But you think vegetables seems, you know what I mean?

Like, not going to fuck up my stuff. Yeah. They have nutrients in it. It's not like chicken. It's like a brown, you know what I mean? It's a brown cucumber. Looks like a fucking potato chip. You know what I mean?

Right? It's crispy. It crumbles. Yeah. You have the cucumber. The first time I used that card, I'll never forget. I went through the line. Yeah.

And I get to the thing and I go, I'd like to, I'm one of the, employee, I'm a comedian, and the woman at the checkout was like, okay. Yeah. Like didn't even scan, didn't even care. She's like, this is not a privilege. This is sad. Take your food.

Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, it's really sad. And then also, then sometimes when you're doing a Vegas show like that, you're sharing the green room with another different show. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not a comedian.

Like a singer will be sitting there. There's a magician with like, you know what I mean? Trying to figure out, you know how to put the, you know, you can see the bunny that's in the fucking hat. You know what I mean? He's trying to figure out how to get it back in the hat. Yeah. Oh dude, speaking of magician, did you watch In-N-Out of Itself?

No. Does anybody know about it? Andres, George? No. Derek Delgado. Shout out to Derek Delgado on Hulu. In-N-Out of Itself, Bobby. I'm not even kidding.

It's the greatest thing I think I've ever seen in my entire life. It's a, before you get it, I want to watch it. But let me just, before you get, I watched two episodes of that HBO thing you want me to watch. Which, which, which? Your comedian comedy one. Comedy? Some guy that does a documentary style comedy.

Oh, how to, oh, how to? Terrible. Wrong. I saw three episodes. I was with Collette. I go, let's watch this tonight because Andres said it was good. It's super subversive. It's very funny.

And we're watching it. We're watching it. Did you get to scaffolding in New York City? I'm just, I'm just gonna be watching it. Yeah. It's really funny. Remember how you wanted to be? Remember how you wanted high brow humor?

Yeah. Yeah, that's it. No. Have you guys seen How To? Did you guys watch it? Yeah. How good is it, George? Genuine.

He's so, he's so brilliant. Anyway, this is a, this is a documentary about a play this guy does off Broadway in New York. About 500 plays he's done. Brennan Neil told me to watch it and I was like, whatever, I'll watch Neil Brennan. Neil Brennan. No. Hold on here.

Yeah. Neil Brennan. Neil Brennan. Yeah. Yeah. I fucking love Neil. Yeah. No.

Anyway, and I went into this kind of being like, oh, I'm not really in the mood for this, whatever. And it fucked me up, man. I cried. I bawled. I fucking bawled. I love crying. You're gonna cry.

I'm gonna cry tonight. It is it on what? It's on Hulu. I have Hulu. Everybody has Hulu. It's go in and of itself. In and of itself. It's a true play that he wrote.

Yeah. And honestly, dude, it's about his life and holy fuck. It's a one man show. Yes. It will shake your soul. Like it does, it did things for me that I was like, wow, you have to sit in it for a little bit and let him get into the depths of the story. But once you get into the story, you're like, ah, it will fucking shake your innards.

Like when was the last time you saw something that did that? Yeah. The thing I watched that was like really got me. Yeah. I watched tragedy porn. Yeah. You well. Yeah.

I like rewatching like, you know, um, 9 11 when it as it happened, you know what I mean? That's the real. You just sitting there going, not real. This is fake. No, but have you ever watched as it happens? Like the plane hitting the towers? No. So you watch the news on YouTube.

You watch the news when they're discovering it for the first time. Yeah. Hey, Bob, welcome to what we got this is just in, you know, that kind of it. And I watch it. I try to bring myself back to that moment like I'm watching it for the first time. Where were you when it happened? I was sleeping. I had to tell you.

Oh, that's right. You were. And then I didn't find out about until the next day. It's kind of nice to sleep right through that. Yeah. And then when I went to the Starbucks the next day, I woke, you know, and I went to Starbucks and people were like all depressed and stuff. I was like, what the fuck?

What's going on? It's taking a long time for coffee. Yeah. And then I found out. But I also watched the Korean ferry boat tragedy. No, you don't. Yeah. You really like that stuff?

Yeah. And, you know, it's sad. I talk about my, my therapist stopped doing it. But what your therapist says, stop doing it. Yeah. But why not? I guess if it helps you in some way, it doesn't help me. Oh, it hurts.

No. It feeds in some sort of like that's the only way I can feel right. Well, touch is something in you. Yeah. But for me to see, you know, I mean, such devastating things, you know, you played it out in real time for me to feel something with that is, it's fucked up. Harry's. Hey, buddy.

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I just sit and talk. Yeah. I'm just passing her feelings, right? And I just, I go into, when you're, when, oh, someone's trying to be real. What is that? Is that acid reflux? Yeah. I know.

Cause I just add two pieces of pizza that Zoey Lister Jones dropped off at my house. What kind of pizza? I don't know. It was, you know, white people pizza. Ugh. Like thin. Yeah. Do you need, do you need medication for that?

You do that a lot. That acid reflux. We're like, who cares? Because I don't want your heart to stop at some point. It stops. It stops, baby. No, I can't stop. Yeah.

What's up, baby? I can't stop. But I might be so sad. I know. But if it does, it does. Why did Zoey Lister Jones just drop off pizza at your house, by the way? Because I, because her, her, the movie that I was, she did a movie with her husband and it's on Sundance today.

Oh. Yeah. And so they dropped it off. You know what? My movie that I was in just got an award or, I mean, we're nominated. What is it? George, show them, show them my movie. This is my movie.

There I am. Really? Yeah. Yeah. There I am with my dog. Oh, congratulations. I didn't know you were in a movie like this. What do you mean?

This is huge. It's huge. It's Pixar, bud. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. It's my voice. It's my dog. Did you produce it?

No. Oh. No. I was, you know. You're lucky you didn't. You know why? Why? Because I was like, where the fuck is my job?

You would have, I mean, where was, where would, where would you fit in that? It's called out and it's about me. Yeah. It's genuinely. Eric Griffin has a movie out too. He does? You're really good at it. He did kill it.

Yeah. He killed it. He's really good at it. No, this show, it's out. It's about me and my husband, Manuel. And can I- Oh, it's a gay one. It is.

And can I tell you something? Who plays Manuel? And today's. It can't be good. It can't be good. Really? You want to see a scene? You want to hear a scene?

Yeah. Ready? Yeah. He kicks me out because he finds out that, you know, I have been with his brother. I've been hanging out. We didn't do anything. We were just hanging out. And he thinks I was hooking up with his brother.

It's not true. So this is me when I come back home for the first time to talk to him about it. That's our cat. How can you do this to me? I didn't do anything to you. Manuel. My brother? Manuel.

My brother? Manuel, I didn't do anything to you. And first of all, your brother Taco and I were just hanging out. No, Taco. I mean, he- no, no, I'm sorry. What? I don't think we can- I can't- yeah, no. What?

You broke my heart. I didn't break anything. Trust me. I didn't do anything with Taco. All I did was take him to get ice cream and after that we took a long walk in the park. And that's it. After all I did for you, supporting your shitty career all these years, you know, I remember sitting in the back of the comedy store hearing those stupid jokes again and again.

And for what? Manuel. Go deeper to my wall. Go deeper. Now that you are a movie star and Davey and making the big money, now you go with my fucking brother. Stick to the script, Manuel. Manuel, I want to be honest with you for a second.

I want to be honest with you, Manuel. What? I have been sleeping with your brother. I know. And you know why? Why? It's because you make me sick. You're disgusting.

You're a stumpy little man. Hey, Manuel. Yeah. And I walked away. Anyway, that's part of the film. Yeah. Maybe we should have rewrites. The funniest part about that was I said stick to the script.

There is no script. But he was online for a while. Wow. You know what just happened there in that conversation in that little improv scene with Andres? It was like we were driving on a freeway and we're cruising. And you know, it's like, hey, you got to get the 110s right there. You got to go all the way to the right.

And he's like, I got it. You're like, all right. You got to get all the way to the right. And then finally he gets there. And he's like. Because here's when you were going into Andrew's comedy and all that stuff, and I said go deeper. You went the opposite way.

You should use that opportunity. He's never heard. He's never heard someone say go deeper. He's never heard that before. Oh, I see. That's a thing. No, but anyway, that's my movie and congrats to Eric Griffin on Soul because I think that's killing it.

Well, there's no box office now, I guess. There's no box office. Yeah, there isn't. No. How do you know? Can you congratulate me on Mulan? Congrats. Congrats on Mulan.

When does your episode of Magnum PI come out? When can we be looking for it? Why do you like that? When can we watch your episode of Magnum PI? I don't know when it comes out. I've never seen it. I don't know. Is that the first one?

I've done six or seven of them. You have? Yeah. I think I only did two. No. Oh, wow. I've done a bunch. And you've never seen one episode.

And in the end of February, I'm going back. Good. Another week and a half. God, for another episode? Yeah. You don't think I could get one? You want me to ask? I mean, it'd be so fun.

That'd be great. You'd be perfect. I'd absolutely love to do it. You know, I'll tell one of the producers that I know. It'd be fun to go out there and just mess around with you. But honestly, I'm not going to do it if it's not with you. But what if we were in the same episode, but not in the same scenes? That doesn't seem fun to me.

Well, they're at the same time. I know. But I would rather be in it with you so if they could make it. One scene. We have one scene. One scene. That's fine. I would do one scene.

I would make sure it's one scene. You would love it. Because it's almost as if you're not on a show. You're just having fun the whole time? No. They're just a bunch of dudes that kind of look like me, like a guy named Zeke with tattoos all over his face. You know what I mean?

Yeah. How you doing, buddy? You know what I mean? You know, Asians, you know, camera operators, they all look like me. You know, somebody said, why don't you guys check in with Jules more? And I got to tell you, I had a whole thing today about talking to Jules. Yeah. And you know why I didn't?

Because she couldn't confront me. If you could confront me, I would be more conversational with you. But I think that you have an issue with me and I want you to get it off your chest right now. What's the problem? I don't have. It's Tito Bobby who has an issue. What's his issue?

My issue. He's lying. He's lying. He's lying. And that's disgusting to call my friend a liar. Don't you ever call him a liar? You know it's so funny that you think that you have allies in this house. Right?

You could do that shit in our house with Kalyla. Yeah. Yeah. Don't work here. Are you trying to use that fucking little thing that you do here? No way, baby. Let's hear it. All, all, all, everyone in the room here, everyone in our house and the bad friend's

house that, that is a Rudy ally. Say I on the count of three, one, two, three. Interesting. What? George. What? George. What?

Oh, he sneezed. Oh, you sneezed. Yeah. I'm going to try it again. There's any allies in this house. Show yourself now. Say I, one, two, three. That's what I thought.

It feels, you know that silence? Oh, you're on that mountain alone. Yeah, yeah. Jules, that silence, right, is, I'll call it the void, right? You're alone in empty space with no one around you and you're free falling. You're going to be okay. No, no, don't okay with your eyes. All right, right now.

All right. Here's another thing I want to call her out on. Please, please. Maybe she has a video game addiction. She does? Maybe. What's going on, Jules? Yeah, what's going on?

Nothing. Are you playing, are you playing too much? Kinda. Yeah. How many hours? I can't say. Why? Because that's equal.

Oh, is she going to get in trouble? Yeah. No, you're not. Jules is a lot like me in many ways. Yeah. In the pandemic, we escape, we have our ways of feeling good. The video game is an escape world for you, huh? What's the video game that you play?

Valorant. Valorant? What is it? First person. First person shooter? It's like Warzone, but more cartoony, I guess. More animated. Are you upset with me right now?

No. I feel like, yeah, in your face, I feel like you're going, he's betrayed me again. He's a betrayer. Did you have a conversation with Tito Bobby about the Valorant game and not talking to you? Yeah. Yeah. Why do I do that?

Well, it's out. It's fine. It's fine. All right. You know, that's another thing that I do. That's a bad thing. What? Hold stuff above people?

What I do? Yeah. It's so evil. It's so bad. I just realized that I do it. But I do it because... Just now, after all the times that you've done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. After 49 years of doing it, right? And the reason why I did it is I do go through a thing that's like, should I do it or not? Then I weigh the consequences of it in my head. And then I go, you know, I think the entertainment value of the entertainment... Risk and reward. Risk and reward. Right?

So I weigh it, right? If you were really going to get in trouble about something, I would never say anything. Right. I think I know a couple of things that would never say it out loud. Right? Well, like what? Like the boy thing? The boy stuff?

No. Yeah. I don't know. Are you okay? Something stuck in my throat. Do you want some water? No, it's fine. Here.

No, it's fine. Put your hand out. I don't give you a little water. It's fine. Put your hand out. Just put your hand out. I'll give you a little water. There you go.

Drink up, kid. Whoa, dude. That's crazy. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Thank you, George. George, ally. Ally.

Ally. For sure, ally. I can smell that from here. Hey. Yeah. Can you open it to ask you? Yeah, my guys. Useless.

Yeah. There's a couple of things I want to, a movie that I saw the other night that people like, but I hate it. What? And it was called The Vast of Night. Vast of Night? Let me see what it looks like, George. The Vast of Night.

What's the deal with it? Why did you hate it? I just... The Vast of Night. I've been holding up on my eight legs like a queen. Amazon. A Jeff Bezos original. So it takes place in the 50s?

Yeah. What? Let's tell us about yourself. I don't know. Well, aren't you like some big science girl? Tell me about science. Pause it. We don't have to see the rest.

No. I cannot stand it. Why do we pretend that that was a voice that people did? What? I don't know. That's what they used to talk like back in there. Nobody talk like that? Yeah.

Stick them up, buddy. Yeah. I've heard my grandfather talk... He doesn't sound like that. He never sounded like that. Yeah, but your grandfather... Oh, hey. Hey, kid, Matt.

Nobody talk like that. That was a TV thing. These are people that are... That used to live in cities and stuff. Not the hills of eyes, wherever you come from. Come from the city of Chicago. My girlfriend was born and raised in the city of Chicago. What's wrong with this?

Okay, so it's number one. Because it looks kind of good. Beautifully shot. Yeah, it looks beautiful. Right? It's the director's genius. And this is the first thing I think. I think he's going to work forever.

Sure. Sure. The acting is great. Okay. Right? It's... Let me just... I'm going to just give a spoiler alert.

You literally are like... This is good. This is good. You're like, it's the title. That's like the only thing. No, no, no, no. That's not what it is. What's the...

Okay, spoiler alert. Well, we should... It just came out. I don't care. I don't care. I have to do it. I don't care. I'm going to do it, all right?

And if you don't... If you don't watch the movie, then click it off now. No, don't turn off the episode just because they... No. Oh, well, keep listening, but I'm going to do it anyway. Just don't watch the movie. What is it? All right.

So, can I just do my rundown? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So, it's beautifully shot, right? Yeah. You can tell that he didn't have a lot of budget. And I think with the amount of money that he had available, he milked it.

Right? The acting is incredible. Okay. And I'm just going to tell you just the short synopsis of what it is, right? How about do that without giving anything away? Short... Just give me the synopsis. I have to give it away.

The reason why is because the ending is the one that would think that... Bothers you. Yeah. Right. Okay. May I? Yes. All right.

Acting amazing, okay? So, basically, it's like they hear like, you know... He's a radio DJ. Yeah, I could tell. And she's a phone operator person. Right. So, I guess back in the day, you know, maybe if you had to call somebody, you had to plug it in.

Operator? Yeah. Right. And do that, right? So, she's hearing like a little like a noises, alien noises. Oh, cool. Right. Right.

And he tells her... She goes, have you heard this before to the DJ? And he puts it out, you know, on the stage. Hey, y'all, listening right now. You ever hear this? Right? People start calling. We've heard it before or whatever.

Whatever. Right? So, at the end of the day, they go through this whole thing. And at the end of the movie, right? They go in the forest, right? These two? Mm-hmm. They go in the forest.

Flying saucer. Cool. That's it. What? What? That's it. No aliens? Bro, bro, bro, bro.

Bro, bro, bro, bro. I've seen every X-Files episode. Yeah, X-Files is a great show. If you're going to do a fucking movie of anything that pertaining to aliens, it's got to be better than X-Files episode. X-Files is awesome. I love X-Files. Yeah.

So, what do you mean? Oh, you mean... I'm just saying, if you're going to do a fucking feature, you're right. Something. You know what I mean? Right. Can I see the alien? Is there a love story?

Is that probably the A story? It's not even a love story. They get fucking zapped into the fucking A and they fly away. Do they make love at some point? They probably fuck up there, but she's 16. Oh, gross. What? No.

This is high school kids? Why, you asked me. I don't know. I'm just assuming. But is it a kid love story? Are they falling in love? No. He's like an adult.

She's a kid. Oh, so this is a weird... I don't like this at all. Yeah, yeah. It's like a grown man who's like, hey, phone plug girl. He's like Chris Duckman, who's one of my favorite YouTube reviewers. I've asked him on Instagram to do Tiger Bell. He never responded.

He doesn't want to do it? Why do they do that? Honestly, because I think some people don't care. Some people are like, I don't want to do podcasts. Yeah, but the thing is, I've asked people and it's like... Who's the biggest person you've asked and they kind of blew you off? Oh, there's a lot. Stephen Yuen.

Stephen Yuen. Stephen Yuen. Let's call him out right now. Stephen Yuen hurt me. Ken Jeong hurt me. Yeah, but we've known that. Alley Wong hurt me. Yeah, right.

Yeah, I asked those three. What's the trend? What's the trend? They're Asians. They're Asians. Asians. Yeah. That as loyal as we once thought.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why did Alley Wong let you know? Alley doesn't do podcasts. She doesn't do podcasts. But she doesn't do anybody's podcast. It'd be weird if she did some, but if she did like... Oh, if she did other people's podcasts and then do mine? Yeah.

I would, I would, what? She's never, no. I would do, I would, it would be war. I know she hasn't. Conan O'Brien. I would start a war. Oh, she did one with Conan. I get that though.

Yeah, yeah, he's a gigantic talk show. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if she did... Oh, 36 Alley Wong podcast interviews. Wow. No, really? It says it right there.

36? 36 of Alley Wong podcasts. You're not your mom's book club. Dear Girls. Oh, Dear Girls is at her show. Uh-huh. Does she have a podcast now? All Wong with Alley...

What? With Kari Asad? What is this, George? Anyway. Anyway, she doesn't do... Who else has it? She doesn't do our podcast. She doesn't do friends' podcasts.

No. No. Like, if she had done yours and then do mine, I would have a problem. Well, her and I aren't close like that. That wouldn't even exist. I mean, like, Alley and I are cool, but you guys, you know her more than I do. Mm-hmm.

I knew her when she wasn't even a comedian. So all she's done is three. Truly. That's the real number. That's fine. Yeah, that's fine. Conan, wait, wait, don't tell me and idiot something. George, pause on something so I can read it.

Idiot with Chris Hardwick. Okay, she did Hardwick. Wait, wait, don't tell me which is massive and Conan. Yeah. That makes sense, right? Mm-hmm. Do you know Hardwick? I love him.

I don't know him well, but I like him. Nice guy. He's doing the ball drop show again. Really? You know the balls that dropped from the thing and the money? Good. Yeah, I saw it come back. I like him.

Just because I remember, like... He's always been nice to me. Yeah, at a gas station once. Mm-hmm. And I was, like, three pumps away. And he, hey, man. And he came up to the, you know... Would you have come up to him?

I saw him before, yeah. I saw him before he saw me. He didn't see the same thing. And he was doing it. Why is anything... Why do you get nervous like that? I always avoid. I always see people and I avoid it.

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That is not economical. I know it's a dark hole. It's a deep, dark hole. And then once we got my... The Tush. The tush, right, I put it in, right? It's so economical, first of all. It was, what, 75 bucks?

It's significantly cheaper than any other bidet that you would find in a market. I don't use toilet paper anymore, and it cleans the whole so perfectly nice. So nice. You could eat a fried egg on my butthole. What about scrambled? No, just fried.

Just fried. Okay, well, over easy is how I like it, man. The future of toileting is here. By the way, we have one here at the studio. We both have one at home, and at first I was adverse. I'm not gonna lie, I was like, I don't want this thing, who cares? I put it on, I love it.

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I'm telling you, this is the truth, all right? The Door Dash saved my life in Hawaii. How? Do you know why? No. Because I was using these other apps, right? And they would say, we don't have anyone near the location. Right.

Right. Door dash, they had it everywhere. Really? Yeah. So I'd be like, I want to go to this weird restaurant that's on the side of that. Other applications are like, we don't go there. Door dash, they go there.

They're so quick. They're so precise. Door dash is my number one thing. Door dash is no one. You heard it here. It connects you with the restaurants that you love. Right to your front door. You didn't have to leave, Bob.

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Don't forget that's code BADFRIENDS2021. For 25% off your first order with Door Dash. Subject to change terms apply. There you go. Like, you know you guys. I don't like small talk. I don't like, there was also a time where it was like, when you have no, especially when you run into people

in the industry and you really have nothing going on. Right. I just didn't want to, you know what I mean? What are you about to do? Oh, I just played the ChuckleFuckFactory in Idaho. I don't want to fucking say that. I do understand when you, it's both people going, what's going on?

You're like, what's going on? Yeah, because people rattle off like shit they're doing. Oh, I just sold a show to HBO and you're like, that's what they open with and you're like, oh, you know. Well see, nothing bothers me more. And there's a few people that we both know how to do this when you go, hey man, what's up? And they're like, oh man.

And they just, they just vomit out their new resume. Right. And you're like, I just said fucking high. Or they do this, this is the worst what they do. Where there's a couple of guys where I go, what's up? And they'll go, man, you're killing it. You know, don't you ever have a break, right?

And they start rattling things that you're doing. It's like, dude, we're not, this is real life here, baby. See, when people do that to me, like do it to me, like do that right now, like watch, you're that guy. Now what, this is how I react when I go, hey dude, what's going on? Hey Andrew, oh my God, Davey, dude, killing it. And whiskey ginger, man, and bad friends are.

It may be so angry. Can you imagine if I do? Let me try it. Yeah, yeah. Your way though, all right. Yeah, I get it. Go ahead. You say hi to me in this fucking scenario.

You start the thing. I don't want to start it though. No, you say hi, and then I, because you, that was the whole point. All right, all right, where are we at though? We are, oh, we, I'm at a gas station, we're pumping at a gas station. All right, but this is, I'm going to play it real.

Okay, play it real. This is the way I would do it. All right, we'll play it real, okay, play it for real. What? Just give me a second. All right. I'll just play it real, all right. I don't think that you would look at me like that.

Yes, I would. You would be like, what's not me? I'm playing a guy. I know, but you're playing another guy, but I don't think any guy would look at me like that. I know how I'm playing the guy. Don't look at me like that. Don't test my acting skills, I know what the guy is.

All right, here we go. Hold on, hold on, hold on, I need a second, I need a second, right? So I have the thing yet, right? Me too, I'm already here, I've been already here. I'm already here, you just started. All right. Okay, ready, I'm pumping.

Oh, shit. Bob, Bobby. I start. Oh. I know, I fucking- I fucking start, you fucked it up already. Sorry, sorry. I start, okay?

Ssss, sss, sss, sss, fuck. Ssss, sss, fuck. Sss, sss, fuck. Ssss, sss, sss, good. Hey. Oh, Bob. Hey man. Hey.

Clark, hey. Clarky. Good to see you. What's up? Hey, dude, whoa, are you killing it right now? Yeah! Bad friends? Yeah!

Magnum PI? Yeah! Is that what you did? Yeah, you copied me. That's what, I was just gonna do what you did. Yeah, no, why did you copy me? You said you're gonna play it for real. Play it for real.

Oh, what I would do. Yes. Oh, I didn't know, I thought you said to do it the way you did it. No, you're supposed to do it your way. All right, well then, if we did it my way, we would never, we would never talk. Yeah, yeah, right, all right, let's do it.

OK, right. This is the way I would do it. Yeah. Hey, man, Clarky. Oh, Bob. What's up, man? I'll tell you what's up, man. You are killing it.

Bad friends, Magnum PI. I mean, you got to be a soloist or Jones. You're doing so much stuff right now. You're absolutely exploding right now. Man, you've got to be doing well. That's incredible, though. Bad friends and Tiger Belly is like murdering. It's like a, what?

Zoe died. Zola or Jones died? Yeah, yeah, we both did. You're right here. We both, that's why you don't make small talk. I don't do it. Because it doesn't work. You're not a small talk guy.

I can't do it. I always say hi. Even if it's somebody that I know is going to trap me in a conversation, I don't want to be in. Because it's like you got to have to do it. You have to go, you don't have to. That's why avoid it.

You do, because they see you and that's bad. No, I always avoid. But they see you. I, what? I'm sure they see you. Yeah, I did this one. I was with my cousin Jenny once. And she didn't know, so I walked in to pay for gas, right?

And I ran into my buddy, right? His name was Ben. They go, my cousin's in the car. She doesn't know that we know each other. So I'm going to go back over there and pick a fight with me. Right? Yeah. And I'll go, I'm going to punch you so hard.

Right? He's a big guy, too. He's like, all right. Yeah. So I, you know, I do the gas. And he comes, what's up fucking chink? Like he goes strong. He goes like really too strong, right?

To the point where I was like, what? But it worked because I got, what? What'd you say? Yeah. You fucking chink, go chink, go chink, chink, right? I go, what the fuck? Say it to my face. He goes, ooh, it goes up to me.

And I went, like that. He fell to the ground. He started doing convulsions, right? I got in the car and my fucking cousin was like, wow. Thought you were so tough. Yeah, you're a real man, huh? You're right. You're tough.

Tough guy. That is the best. You never told her? Never told her. Jenny. Until now. Jenny, pay attention. Until now.

It was fake. Oh, I want to say something. Remember that song we played for you? Yeah. That lo-fi stuff? I love that song. There's a comic named Whitmer Thomas. Do you know Whit?

The fucking man. Whit had put up a song today and I thought this was good. I know that guy. Yeah, Whitmer. Yeah, Whitmer Thomas. Play it from the beginning. This is a song that he originally composed here during. This kind of sums up what the pandemic has been for everybody

to me. It's short and quick. It's great. And I fucking love it. Make a cup of coffee and water the plants. Text my dad and pay my rent. Try to write something even if it's shit. Watch a fucking movie it ain't seen yet.

Check in with friends the M-Mum's mean. Clean to catch a car even though it's clean. Sit in the sun and try to swim. Go through old furrows and shave my head. Our lives become a bottomless hole. Squeeze the droid from my soul. Try to relate, try to self motivate, but you can't fight the rigmarole.

No, no, no, you can't fight the rigmarole. I love him. I love him. Pretty good. I think he's so great. Yeah. That's the kind of stuff that sums up the pandemic to me. Alone in your house on a green screen.

Yeah. Guitar, keyboard. It's, you know. Lives become a bottomless hole. It's funny, we've been so conditioned to live like this for the last, it's been almost now a year. It has been, no, it has been. It's coming up on a year, right?

Imagine a year. I haven't done stand up in a year. Think how good you'll be when you get back. Bad. Yeah, be bad. Yeah. But won't that be fun to be bad? Oh, I can't wait because I'm going to start anew.

But you are? Yeah, I'm going to start anew. Are you going to put anything down? I'm not, I'm literally not going to do any old, I don't know what the old joke is. What I'm saying, you should put down the old jokes on a tape or something, like put them up. Why?

I'm putting anew. My stuff is garbage. No, it's not. Let me make a suggestion. I'll tell you why. Look at me. When people say that, it's so funny because I did some of my old jokes on a, when I did the Montreal Comedy Festival.

Yeah. And it's online. Some of them. No, it was a stand-up show that I did. Yeah, but not an hour. I know, but it was still six minutes. It got three views. OK.

No one gives a shit. Can I suggest something and you can say no? What? Take away the, OK, what if you record all your old jokes that you're going to throw away? Yeah. OK. Yeah.

Record them all. Yeah. And print them on records and print 25 of them, like a small amount, right? And sell them for charity. OK. That's a good thing. Is that a good idea?

Can we talk back to the pandemic, though? Makes you nervous. Yeah, it does. Don't be nervous. Yeah. You make me nervous. Don't do that. Don't transition into something that's not true

because you're uncomfortable with what's going on with your head. You make me nervous. About what? It's different. Why? See, that's why. What do you mean? No, because I feel like you're going to bring up stuff

that's going to, like, because you know my, I'm not going to bring up insecurities. I know, but I'm just saying, you know. I'm being very supportive. I'm just saying that, you know, I know your spots. I know. I'm not touching any spots. And no, but you know where that my spots are

within my body is, right? And sometimes I'm an emotional massage therapist. Yeah, but sometimes you'll say things and it's like around the spot, right? You're not really in the spot. Not hitting it. I know, but you're around it, right? But the spot gets these pulsates.

OK, OK. You know what? We can move on to the next thing, but I was just saying. I want to talk about the pandemic, you fuck. I'm sorry. Thank you. You're right. You've been a great guy.

Thank you. And I apologize. I love you. I don't want to get. I don't want to get in. But I don't want to talk. You know, I don't want to talk about the Pandy. Because I'm sick of it.

You don't want to bring this guy fucking back on. What do you mean? Whipers the shit. I thought the song was great. I want to talk about what he's saying. Tell me what he's saying. I know, I'm just in general. Yeah, tell me.

It's just that we don't. It's just odd that in the last year it just went by. And it's like that our society and everything. I don't know how to do anything anymore. In terms of what? Just in terms of, like, I don't know what it's like to meet people or have conversations with people. I don't talk to people.

But you didn't do that quite much when it wasn't. I guess I did. You weren't really a super social butterfly when it was normal. Yeah, but I still knew how to. I'll be honest with you. Like when Jeff Scott died, we talked about it, right? Yeah, it just is really sad.

I know. So it's like little things like that. It's like Jeff Scott died. And it's like, I wish, you know, that number one, I believe that without the pandemic, that he could still be alive. Yeah. I mean, the only thing I heard, and I'll say this,

is that Jeff, people know was the beloved piano player for the comedy store for 25 years. The only thing that might have contributed to his death, and I'm not spreading rumors, but I'm just saying maybe, was I had heard that Jeff was friends with a fair amount of people from the Hoover Cripp gang. He rolled deep with a gang from the Hoover Cripps in South Central Los Angeles.

No. No. I was bleeding. No, I know, I know. I was thinking about everything, you know what I mean? But I sold it well. Yeah, but Jeff was also the widest guy you've ever met. Yeah, the gay pianist from the comedy store

was not rolling with Hoover Cripps. Yeah. But can you imagine? Oh, that would be amazing. In a drive-by, he's playing the piano in the car. Yeah, yeah. What's up, fool? He's like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

Yeah, he was a great, but my point is, so let's go back. And I miss him very fucking much. Let's go back to the, and it's just. You think he would have survived had the pandemic not happened? Yeah, there's other people like I, you know, I think that a lot of young comics got fucked, too. Oh my god. So many people, how about just people got fucked?

Yeah, I had a kid called Dylan, the gay guy Dylan. Yeah, you didn't have to tag those. You could have just said Dylan, the kid who used to work at a comic store. He moved. He's in Austin. Right, so he called me. He's like, I don't know what to do.

Or Austin, or where do you move to? To Texas. Yeah. Because I don't know what to do because, you know, I might make any money here, and my dream is here. But he went with Tony Hinchley. Don't he leave, BK? Yeah, those guys moved down there for the Rogan train.

I know. What do you think of that? So many people. I know. I don't even know. Tim Dylan's moving down there. I know you want to go. To Austin?

Yeah. Look, I don't, I don't. We just got our houses now. Yeah, we just got our houses. I mean, at the end of the day, it's like. We just got our houses. Yeah, it's like I'm paying mortgage on my house. I'm not.

Here's my other thing. If this sounds crazy, and I'm going to say this, and I mean this, everyone's like, you don't need to stay in LA. Don't need to be in LA. OK, fine, I get it. I don't need to be in LA to do what we do. Kind of. You do.

You do. Because those guys. They say that, but they don't. Also, those guys, right? Guys like Tony and those guys, they don't have like, dream. You and I, they don't have dreams. No, I don't. They don't have dreams.

But you don't. No, no, they don't work in Hollywood. But they don't want to like, get on a movie or TV or act. Right, they're not actors. And that's why, not that I'm an actor, but I like doing it. And it's a part of my, it's a part of what I do, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, so it's like, I like the challenge of it.

Right, those guys aren't in the, that's what I'm saying. They're not in the acting side of Hollywood. And they want to be, some of them. I think a lot of them don't. Yeah, but some of them do. I don't know, Tony, I don't think he goes out for stuff like that. But he's had said stuff to me like, I can't, I can't get anything. Oh, I didn't know he goes out.

I just didn't know how much he goes out. But I mean, like Segura, he doesn't, he acts only if they ask him. Yeah, yeah. Right, so they're moving down there. Yeah. Tim Dillon, I mean, he, Tim does whatever the fuck he wants, which is why he's genuinely killing it harder than anybody else in the comedy game. I mean, no one, no one is funnier and puts out more consistent shit than Tim Dillon.

I mean, who else has moved down? I mean, you know, I'm sure Whitney will probably go down there. No. Yeah, dude, at some point, I think all those people will go down there. Me and you are going to be the only people in LA. But then what happens when the clubs open back up? Then we own LA. Right?

You and me, Chang. We're running this town. How great would that be? You and me in LA? Yeah. I did cross over the hill today to go to get tested again. I'm getting tested seven days a week. I know.

It's insane. Great. Every day. Across the hill to go get tested because I went over to the studio that we, that we, our production offices. Today is one of the first days that restaurants are allowed to be open again. Do you know that we're in purple mode or whatever? Yeah.

No restaurants have patios open now because it's raining here in LA. Denny's, a line down the block. No. People are, people were begging to eat outside at Denny's. That's how much people wanted to be outside. Wow. They were just like, please, what's, do I hear something? Oh, it's, it's, it's, she's watching something on her phone.

Yeah, she was. She was not. She was. I'm not. I'm not. Wait, wait, why, when you raise your voice. Yeah, she does get snagged. Yeah, yeah, what do you, that's Sir Andrew Santino.

Surrender your phone to Tito right now. Surrender your phone. The rest of the episode is going to be about you. Surrender your phone right now. Do it. I want you to talk to her now. I want to tell her about her behavior. I want to see if I can, damn it.

Just pass code. Yeah. Wait, is that, is that the Grateful Dead case? Yeah. Are you a Grateful Dead fan? No. No. Can you name any members of the Grateful Dead?

No. Not one. Not, not, not even the main guy that died. No, I just. Four fingers on one hand. No. I just like the. We're going to, we're going to give you a hint.

Yeah. Because you're actually very good at guessing names. Yeah, yeah. Remember when she guessed the vice president and the president elect? Yeah. So, um. Let's see who, let's see who the, the, the man who was in

the Grateful Dead, he passed away. He was the leader, the lead singer. His name was what? It starts with a J. George. George? George, yes. What's his last name?

That's pretty good. The last, the last name is Hispanic or? I would say what region, what Hispanic region, Andres? What, why are you laughing? Very common, the Spanish last name. What is it Andres? A very common Spanish last name, everywhere. Yeah, it's very common.

Yeah, correct. But make it comedy next time. Yes. Jesus Christ. I was setting him up. I gave him like a, I gave the guy an alley-oop. I was like, what, what Latin region could this be from? A five minute fucking break.

And then he goes, comedy. A very Spanish, oh my God, dude, lie next time. Chile, he's, it's just Chilean last name. George, what? George Trinidad. Oh, Trinidad. Trinidad? How do you know that?

It's not correct. Yes, it is. George Trinidad was the lead singer of fucking the Grateful Dad. That's impressive. Bring up a picture of George Trinidad, please. How did you, how did you? How did you know that?

Did they text you? Images. Where is George Trinidad? Right there, right there, right there. There he is. There he is. He died. He was the lead singer of the Grateful Dad.

Four fingers on one hand. And now show those, the picture beneath that picture of the two guys right beneath it, right beneath him. No, no, no, there it is, yeah, there it is. That's the other, that's the other members of the Grateful Dad. Can you name, well look, it says that, Peter and George. Okay, it says Peter and George, who you know.

George Trinidad and Peter Blythe. Who's the third member? Do you know? Starts with a C. C. Carlos. Carlos? Yeah.

What's his last name? It's very easy. Easy. The last name starts with an X. Carlos. X. Carlos. Zen.

Carlos Zen. Carlos Zen. Carlos Zen. Zantilias. Zantilias. Carlos and Tilias. Pull up Carlos and Tilias, please. And there he is.

The third member, click on it, George. That's the third member of the Grateful Dad. Carlos and Tilias. Yeah, there he is. And what instrument did Carlos play? He played the triangle and the bongos. And let me say something about him, right? Triangle and the bongos, right?

There he is, that's Carlos and Tilias. Carlos and Tilias, it was triangle and the bongos, but he invented, right? He invented the plastic triangle. Did he really? Yeah, because usually triangles would play with metal, right? Always, right.

Metallic, right? But his was made out of plastic. It was much bigger and it was yellow, purple, and a fluorescent green, right? And he used, the stick was colorful, I don't know what it was. Yeah, it was almost like, do you remember a Barbershop wrap?

You don't have a wrap to it, yeah. Right, and he would, when the Grateful Dad would play, right, it would be rhythmic. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Right, right? And there we go, right? And then he would go, drop it.

Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, the bongos. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. Right, it was there so good. They were very good. It would do that for 45. They would jam in G major for 45 minutes. Straight. Straight.

I mean, have you seen a triangle fucking solo? It's raw. A 20 minute triangle solo is, it fucks up the ears. Fucks up the ears. At some point, people come running for dinner. So are you now gonna know enough about Grateful Dead when somebody sees your phone case and goes, hey, do you know about the Grateful Dead?

Yeah. And so the three members are? George, Trinidad, Carlos, Santillas, and Peter Mulave. Well, it's Blythe, but Mulave is correct. Mulave is actually kind of a stage name for him. Yeah. And the genre of music was? Is?

The genre of music? Rock. Rock and? Blues. Rock and blues, baby. Yeah, so rock and blues. Yeah, blues or rock. Either way, they're interchangeable.

Either you can juggle, either. I want to show you something, because I learned something very recently. The sperm is the hot new wrinkle treatment. Do you know that? No. Seriously, people are using sperm as new. This is real.

People are using sperm as facial treatment. Really? Did you put stuff on your face at night? Sperm. Who's? Mine. Really, is this sperm? Yes, sperm.

It's like a new thing. So you put it on your wrinkles. Women will put, there's like certain kinds of sperm that people put on their face overnight. It's not human sperm. Sure is. But what's certain kind? Stuff that they can't, you know, if you go to Sperm Bank,

they can't use all of your sperm. You know that, right? Right. So if it's not good sperm, it gets in these things. And if it's not good for birth, it's good for this. But can I just give Kalyla my own comb and she can put it on her? Sure can.

And it will work? Sure will. Really? Yeah. Rudy, what do you have? I think I'm going to talk. So this is so we can improve. Check how Rudy's doing with her improv skills.

Oh, right. Yeah, because she is lacking tremendously. So she's going to read a story just from her cards. Now, and you guys have three minutes to ask her questions to determine if it's a real story or a fake story. OK, very good. Fun. Very good.

So you have to learn how to sell whatever you're selling. OK. OK. I cheated on an exam and got an A. The person I cheated from got a B plus. Look at me in the face. What subject was it? What kind of test was it?

Math. She's just called just math now. Isn't there like an algebra or something like that? No. We call it math in the Philippines. There's no like specific. There's only math one, two, three, four. What's the name of the person you cheated off of?

Liz. Liz, the Filipino girl Liz. Yeah. What's her last name? Tan. Liz Tan. Liston? Pretty good.

Liston? Yeah. Liston. All right, so we have to guess now if she's, is that real or she's lying? You guys have three minutes to ask questions. So you can go deeper. Yeah, but what?

All right, we'll go deeper. I see. Oh, I thought it was two. Yeah. All right. Liz Tan. How many people are in the class? 32.

Yeah, but that's our standard. Liz Tan, what about Liz Tan? I want to know about Liz Tan. Yeah, Liz Tan. How tall is Liz Tan? She's 5'4". 5'4". How old is she?

18. Is she ugly? No, she's really pretty. She is? Are you jealous? No, she's my friend. Who's her boyfriend? Before, at that time, it was VJ.

VJ? VJ's saying the golfer, the 65-year-old golfer? No. VJ who? VJ Daniel. What does her dad do for a living? That was a lie. What does her dad do for a living?

Her dad is a businessman. What business? He makes cardboard. Yeah, it's true. Really? Who makes cardboard? What do you mean, he just makes cardboard? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like boxes? Yeah, boxes. Wow. What does the mom do? She's a doctor. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So the mom is a doctor, and that's not bringing enough cash.

So he decides, I'm going to make cardboard boxes. Three minutes is up. Time's up. First of all, that's a lie. You didn't cheat, isn't it? Is that true? I lied, but the mom and dad was true. That was real?

Yeah. The mom is a doctor, and the dad makes boxes. Yeah, and Liz is true. Here's a better game. Let's create a better game, all right? Yeah. How about we assign you, you're a professor. No, see, that's how you're scared.

You're a professor, right? And we're going to tell you what you're an expert on, and we're going to ask you questions about things, and you have to answer the questions, make it up, right? And be confident about what you're saying, all right? This is a good bit. This is a good bit. Let's see how good, let's see how good Jules is at improv.

Yeah, so you are going to be a professor. You're a history professor. Yeah. Right? And the Industrial Revolution is your, yeah. Really? That's so hard. I know.

She can make it up. Let's see if she can. Yeah. Do you have enough read? OK, OK, here we go. So we're two students after class. Yeah. And we have questions about the homework.

Yeah. Let me know that, not maybe not the Industrial Revolution. What do you want to do with the Civil War? What about she's just a history teacher? Yeah. Hi, Ms. Kuhn. Thanks for having us. We just had some questions about today's lessons and whatnot.

Yeah. You know, so the Declaration of Independence, just can you, who signed it? The Declaration of Independence was signed by Abraham Lincoln. And it was after, I don't know what he's supposed to be, wait. All right. Who's Tino Bobby? Let's stop, when you're, OK, all right.

There is no wrong answer. Yeah. Because you're making it up. Yeah. Right? But you have to, you can't pause like that. You just, whatever you're saying. You believe it.

Is a fact. It's a fact. OK. Let's try it again. It's a fact. OK. Let's try it again. Ask her another different question, all right.

OK. Ms. Kuhn. Kuhn. Oh, sorry. Sorry, my bad. Sorry, my bad. We just get nervous. We get so nervous because you're so smarter than us.

So I'm not smart, but in the World War II, yeah. Who were the countries involved again? All of, like, I don't remember who was in it. The countries that were involved were Japan. Uh-huh. US, our country. Our country. Yes.

Yeah. Germany. Yeah. Hawaii. Hawaii. Hawaii was a, were they weren't a part of our country? Oh, yeah, they were part of our country. Yeah.

Brazil. Yeah, Brazil. Brazil? Brazil was involved? OK, that's interesting. So how did Brazil get involved in that war? Yeah. Our president.

Who was our president during the war? Yeah, I don't. Franklin Roosevelt. Franklin Roosevelt, OK, good. Yeah. He went to Brazil. Yes. And asked the president if he could help us bomb Germany.

Who was the president of Brazil? Yeah, Brazil. Who was the president of Brazil at the time? It was Jose Gregory. Jose Gregory. I read about him. I remember him. I read his bio.

Wait, wait, Jose Gregory, didn't you do something before becoming president of Brazil? Yeah. What was his first job? Or his job? I think he was a janitor. He went from janitor to president. Yes.

I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. Yeah, yeah. Do you have any questions? Because when somebody was in the lottery in this country, he just pulled the hose and came to the lottery.

He used that term. Yeah, yeah. You have a question for her. Oh, I do. So during the war, right? So the Japan were with the Germans, right? Yeah. Yes.

What was the Japan's fleet called? Yeah, what were they called? The Japan's fleet was called Akatsuke fleet. Akatsuke fleet. What does Akatsuke mean? Akatsuke means rogue. Rogue, the rogue fleet. Yes.

That's interesting. That's tight. That's tight, right? That is cool. Yeah, we should have created a band called that. The Akatsuke fleet? Yeah. I really like that.

I really like that. I have one more history question for you. Yeah. Of course. You know, now this is embarrassing. I don't know. Stupid. But at the turn of the century, you know, Y2K,

this recent century, they said computers were going to stop. Remember that? Yeah, yeah. Why? Computers were going to stop because our government put something in the chip. That's it. So our government, let me get this straight.

Whoa. You're pulling my mind. Let me get this straight. Let me get this. Wow, complex. How complex? Our government. And diabolical.

Put a chip. We put a chip. Our government put a chip in the computer. In what? Which computer? Yeah, what computer did it put in? All computer products. Oh, right.

So all diabolical. So our government went to Macintosh. Hewlett Packard. Ask. So our government went to Macintosh, Hewlett Packard, Apples at Macintosh, right? Same. Or the same thing.

And they specifically put unbeknownst to the companies, a government chip. Yeah. And what was the purpose of this chip? To stop and maybe make the computers alive. Oh, singularity. OK, so then why didn't it work? Why didn't it work?

This technician that works for the government. What was his name? He was, his name was John Arkansas. John Arkansas. John Arkansas. What's the state? Yeah. And the country.

Is it a country or a state? State. So John Arkansas, he was one that put the chips on all the computers? Yes, but he made an error. And that's why it didn't work. Who was there? What was it?

He was coding and he put penis. He wrote penis? In the coding. And it didn't work. So are you telling us that penis saved us all in the year 2000? Yeah. Wow.

John Arkansas, a chip from the government. Yeah. Wow. You know what? What does Y2K stand for? Oh, what does that stand for? Yeah, then. You're to.

Coyote. Oh. Rudy, you did great. Great job. Give it up for Rudy for the end. Sounds good. Take your phone back. Rudy, you got your phone back?

And you know the Grateful Dead members now. Yeah. All right, let's look in the camera and say it. Thank you for being a bad friend. You hear about a kid, right? Yeah. Who's great at football, right? Yeah.

In high school, right? Yeah. He's a quarterback. He's a quarterback. All right, he's a quarterback, right? And it's now tryouts, right, for the college, right? What college scout? What college?

WNBA. That's the college? Yes. All right. And WNBA, I'm the fucking university head of the sports division. Got it. OK.

You hear about this name, Clarice Montuzzo. I love Clarice Montuzzo. Yeah, yeah, he's a quarterback from high school, from Oxnard High School. 6'8". He's 6'8". 225. Exactly.

Pure muscle. Yeah, pure muscle, right? Yeah. And he gets, every time he throws a ball, it goes right into the tight end. Right in the chest or the wide receiver? Or the end, I mean. A wide receiver.

No, it goes to the, what do you do it when you score? In the end zone? End zone. End zone, it goes to the end zone. Well, the tight end could catch it and put it in the end zone. Sometimes he does. You think the end was called the tight end? Yes.

Yeah. OK, so every time it goes right in the tight end, in the end zone. And so I hear about this Montuzzo guy, right? And I'm seeing him scrimmage, right, with the boys, right? Hut, hut, hut. And he throws the ball, right, in back of him. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I'm like, I heard this guy was good, you know what I mean? And I know that he has another, he's on a team with my other friend, a guy I know, Andrew, right? So let's do it again. A guy, go, reset, right, go to the 20 yard line. Second snap. Right, hut, hut, right?

He spins it on his head, right? Yeah, like, hut, hut, spins it, right? And just kind of walks around in a circle. Like that, right, right? And then cut, I don't know what they say, you know what I mean? No, they don't. They don't say cut, right? They can't cut.

I don't know what they say. You don't cut. So then I go, I'm like a little, hey, man. Come on, man. This is real, man, this is for the college. This is for the WNBA. Hey, right? He's like, I'm doing it.

I'm trying. Yeah, at that point, I want to be like, it was all hype. But it's not. So my tape, right, the tape that I sent this morning, right, is that. Time out. Yeah, yeah. Rudy, how was the tape spinning a ball on his head

or was it throwing it in the tight end? It was throwing in the tight end. Very good. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Woo. Woo. Yeah.

Woo. Yeah. Woo.